Sometimes it helps to have rules to live our lives by — and so here's our take on the 10 commandments...
1. Thou shalt worship no other horse but thine
Although ‘worship’ is a strong word, considering his performance at your last big show. That said, you did say a prayer as he hurtled towards that last huge fence….
2. No false idols, such as the German eventing team
Sure, they’re awesome and sort of super-human, and their horses are the nuts. But let’s support our own home-grown talent.
3. Thou shalt not take the judge’s name in vain…
…even if you do normally score sevens and eights for your extended trot and this time you only scored a five.
Continued below…
16 signs you’re a horse addict
4. Remember the day of your next farrier/dental/vet’s appointment
God may forgive you for having a memory like a sieve, but your farrier probably won’t. Write it down on your calendar and underline it in red, lest you forget.
5. Honour thy mother and father…
…even though your mum’s only comment about your beloved horse is ‘he’s terribly big, isn’t he? Aren’t you scared of him? I do worry about you getting hurt.’ Which is actually really annoying.
6. Thou shalt not kill your partner/friend…
…when they confess they were so busy putting that photo of you being dumped in the water on Twitter that they completely forgot to video your fabulous showjumping round on their phone.
7. Thou shalt commit to that fence your horse has locked onto…
…because he’s going to jump it one way or another and it’s definitely better if you’re still on his back while he does it.
8. Thou shalt not steal…
…from your friend’s supply of hay because you’ve run out and haven’t got time to nip out to get some more just now.
9. Thou shalt not bear a grudge at thy friend…
…for continually pinching your hay when she runs out. After all, you do the same to her.
10. Thou shalt not covet…
…thy yard-mate’s beautiful new flashy warmblood. Actually, thou shalt. And thou dost!
