A rider who tried to take her own life a year ago as she felt she had no way out has since jumped on the Global Champions Tour (GCT), and been shortlisted for the inspiration category at the 2023 FEI Awards.
Jennie Sharpe, whose life was changed in an instant when she suffered a spinal injury in 2018, “made a triumphant return to the saddle despite physical challenges”, her FEI citation reads.
Jennie was diagnosed with cauda equina syndrome; certain nerves had become so compressed, they no longer function, which means she has no feeling in the back of one leg, and her feet, and her bladder and bowels do not function. She hopes to raise awareness of hidden disabilities, and the impact unkind words can have on others.
“I made an attempt on my life about Christmas time as I thought there was no way out of this,” Jennie told H&H. “I thought I was only going to wake up in pain and broken.
“There had been a few comments, about how I was too fat to ride, and wasn’t good enough. Everything got on top of me, and I thought ‘I don’t want to do this any more’.”
Jennie has been honest and open about her attempt: “People need to know that their actions and words can hurt people,” she said. “You don’t know if someone might literally be on the brink of not wanting to be here, and that one last sentence could push it to the edge. I don’t know why people have to be so cruel to each other.”
Jennie underwent an operation to fit a colostomy bag, and was very ill early this year as a result, including an attack of sepsis, but she said her life has hugely improved.
“I don’t spend four hours a day on the toilet any more, I just empty it and get on with my day,” she said.
Getting on with her day has also included competing at Bolesworth International Horse Show in June, and at the London leg of the GCT.
Picture by Beyond Imagination Photography
“London was a bit of an accident!” she said. “I’d gone to Bolesworth, which was my dream. Two weeks before, I’d come off and the horse trampled my numb leg so I had to tape my boot on because my leg was so swollen, then everything was incredible.
“Then my friend said ‘Why don’t you come to the GCT?’ I said ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’
“But I emailed, and got a reply saying they’d love to have me.”
Jennie jumped 10-year-old Extreem Forest in the CSI2* classes in London, and said she “can’t wait to go back”.
“I did fall off after the finish on the last day!” she said. “Everyone was clapping, and I was crying, the stands rattled, he spooked and spun and I plopped off. I got up and bowed, and everyone cheered.
“I cried like a baby, as I never in a million years thought I’d achieve that.”
Jennie said she had no idea she had been nominated for the Pivo Inspire title at the FEI Awards until she had an email to say she had been shortlisted.
“I didn’t expect that at all,” she said. “I don’t think I’m an inspiration in the slightest, I’m just honest and don’t see the point in sugar-coating anything, as everyone goes through it and struggles in one way or another.”
Jennie said her message to anyone who is struggling would be that it is ok not to be ok.
“It sounds like a cliche but some days you won’t be ok, and you will get through it,” she said. “You’re allowed to think ‘I hate life today’. I used to always be running round but tell myself it is ok to have a lazy day, and have a break, reevaluate.
“People ask how I cope but I think it’s made me a better person; I’m more empathetic and sympathetic now, more aware of people’s circumstances and struggles.
“I have therapy, and some days I can’t get out of bed; after the thrill of the GCT or after Horse of the Year Show last week, I come home and have a slump. But I still look at the photos; after the GCT, the photographer sent them to me and said ‘I just want you to know how proud everyone is of you’. So if I’m in a slump, I look at them and think ‘If I can do that, I can do anything I want’.”
Other British nominees in the FEI awards include European team and individual gold medallist Ros Canter, and Ros’s groom Sarah Charnley. Voting is open online until 22 October.
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‘I’m proud of overcoming the darkest days’: rider whose life changed in an instant hopes to help and inspire others
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