Our own (fake) news story claimed that archaeologists have made a “game-changing” discovery of the earliest recorded use of “matchy-matchy” horse and rider gear, dating from about 35,000 BC.
“We have never seen a saddle or bridle from this early in history. But even more interestingly, it is clear that there has been a major attempt at coordination,” said ‘Dr Graves’.
Baileys Horse Feeds announced they would be offering “the first of a planned network of Ride Thrus”, which would open at an equestrian centre in Essex, where riders could “pick up a range of tasty treats and nosebag nosh for their favourite hacking snackers”.
The All England Jumping Course at Hickstead revealed that this year, their famous Derby course would be jumped in reverse.
Hickstead Director Edward Bunn said: “Fear not, the horses won’t be expected to climb up the Bank! Instead they’ll come down the Bank as usual but go over the road crossing fence next.”
The plan was to monitor how the class went this year, and then either continue with the reversed route for at least five years or follow in Badminton Horse Trials’ footsteps by alternating the route each year.
Stallion AI Services announced that they would be calling on the use of drones to help deliver semen in an efficient way.
“By offering the equine semen air delivery service to mare owners, it will allow them to get the mare inseminated when they would normally have had to wait for the next cycle,” explained Tullis Matson, managing director of Stallion AI Services.
Eventing Ireland revealed they were “taking cross-country to a new level”.
“Alligators will patrol all water jumps, and loose sheep on all areas of the courses will provide an extra element of surprise at every turn!” they explained.
Here’s a move we’d all like to make after the wet winter we’ve had to endure. Summerleaze Equine Vets informed clients they would be moving from Axminster in Devon and relocating to the Maldives.
“We would like to stress we will still be there to support you with your horses, ponies and donkeys,” read the statement. “However, our vets have had enough of being soaked through to the skin, permanently covered in mud and trying to navigate driving through roads that have effectively become rivers.
“We foresee having to rely heavier on telemedicine, but also welcome any of our clients to visit us at our new beachside location. We hope all of our clients will support us during these changes and the exciting new challenges that are likely to lie ahead for our staff, including the important question as to whether one can ever really spend too much time on a beach.”
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Gemma is an experienced journalist, having been part of the H&H team since 2014, who is passionate about all equestrian sports, including racing and point-to-pointing. She has enjoyed riding out for top trainers Nicky Henderson and Charlie Appleby and took part in a charity Flat race at in August 2018. Gemma’s reporting talents have taken her to numerous five-star events around Britain and Europe, as well as European championships.
