11 stages of a tack room clearout that we know will sound familiar

Equestrian humour

When was the last time you had a tack room clearout?

Something that’ll never cease to amaze us about horses is the sheer scale of paraphernalia that comes with them. Still more baffling is that each horse inevitably accumulates multiples of each item. Why does a horse need three different fly masks in varying states of repair, we ask? The answer remains unclear, but the fact remains.

If you’ve unearthed your horse’s seventh headcollar from the depths of a storage bin (somehow it’s still new with tags, but you can’t remember buying it?) or you can only actually access your tack room be squeezing in sideways (the door won’t fully open), it might be time for a tack room clearout.

Thinning out your equestrian kit is overwhelming. This feeling could be owing to the memories you’ll unearth or simply the sheer scale of the task. To help ease the burden, read on for our helpful guide to navigating the physical demands and emotional steps to decluttering your tack room (allowing for a little sense of humour, of course!).

Tack room clearout: 11 stages to expect

1. Assessing the scale

You’ve identified the problem – you have more stuff than tack room space. First, step back (assuming you physically can – some tack rooms leave little space for manoeuvres) and get a handle on the magnitude of the task. Work out how much time to block out to tackling the declutter, ranging from an afternoon to several business days, and pinpoint the best place to start. We’d opt for something manageable. Think easing your way in with a box of bits, don’t go straight in to the dreaded pile of umpteen rugs.

2. Categorising

It’s easy enough to settle on categories that will ultimately decide the fate of the detritus you uncover. Keep, bin and give away/sell is the usual trifecta. You could even throw in a ‘repurpose’ pile if you’re feeling environmentally conscientious.

One word of advice? Manage the size of your ‘keep’ heap. If you haven’t used the pink pony-sized saddle cloth that’s still in its packaging and neither have, nor plan, to purchase a pony that it would fit, please do not endeavour to keep it. Capiche?

3. Regret and nostalgia

A strong wave of post–sort clarity can have you clamouring to rearrange the piles of stuff. Usually, this involves a strong urge to move items from ‘bin’ to ‘keep’. Resist this urge at all costs – unless of course you realise you’ve accidentally thrown your horse’s best heavyweight turnout in a skip. Then, it’s time to go bin diving!

4. Storage

Once you’ve finished deciding what goes where, it’s time to bag and box up the items for selling and binning and put them somewhere for a while before congratulating yourself on a job well done.

In any tack room clearout, there is usually a period of up to a year where the items earmarked for new homes just kind of… sit around. No one is sure why this happens, but it’s probably to allow recovery from the extreme effort of the first three stages of the clearout.

5. Photography

It’s time to advertise your second-hand items online! This entails unpacking everything again, inspecting each piece to see if it’s worth washing or applying a lick of saddle soap before taking a photo and uploading it to a social media marketplace.

Cue someone offering you £3 for a headcollar you listed for £5… really?!

6. The lightbulb moment

Ready to all but give up on recouping any of the money spend on excess equestrian kit, your eye is drawn to an advert for a horsey table-top sale in your local area. Huzzah! Somewhere to display your preloved items in person with a captive audience ready to hand over fistfuls of cash! You become increasingly certain you’ll make a huge success of the evening, and book your slot there and then.

7. Packing the car

In your eagerness to sign up to the sale, you forget you have to fit everything you intend to part with in you vehicle, leaving you to orchestrate some kind of Tardis situation to get everything to the venue. Owners of small hatchbacks, our hearts are with you. Would it be OTT to take a horsebox?

8. Entrepreneurship

For one night only, you find yourself the owner of a second-hand tack selling business and you become a dab hand at pulling in punters and striking up deals. Two for one headcollars, anyone?

9. Having a wandering eye

Ever sociable and curious, you decide to wander through the stalls for a few minutes – only to see who’s around and to just look at the wares. However, just minutes into your stroll you spot a bridle with a noseband you’ve always thought about trying on your horse and you’re fairly certain it’ll fit him, too! Next, there’s that posh brand of the best tendon boots you always told yourself you’d buy if you saw them at a good price. Then, what should appear but a near-pristine saddle pad in a colour that’s been discontinued that you always wish you’d bought!

10. Driving a hard bargain

Having spent a couple of hours as a stallholder you now know how hold yourself through the deal-making process to knock a few quid off the bits and pieces that have caught your eye. With the cash you made selling a few things from your table and a few notes from your own wallet, you not only picked up the bridle, boots and saddle pad, but also a treat ball, lightweight turnout and a few more buckets (you can never have too many!).

11. The tack room clearout cycle repeats itself

You drive home happy having sold some (but not all) of your clutter and having acquired a fair few items, meaning you leave with your car as full as when you started.

Once the initial honeymoon period has faded and your new purchases become common sights in your tack room you start to feel a slight sense of claustrophobia. Didn’t there used to be a bit more space in here? Is it time for bit of a tack room clearout? (Go back to stage one).