It’s the question put to every high-performance athlete if she decides to have children: “How do you balance motherhood with your career?”
Olympic and Paralympic gold medallists Laura Tomlinson and Natasha Baker share their experiences with H&C+ and an audience in the BD Fan Zone at the LeMieux National Dressage Championships today (Friday 13 September).
Natasha, who became a parent for the first time to baby Josh in 2023, says for her it was “an end to life as I knew it before, but the start of a very beautiful life”.
“Being a mum is full-on, and they need a lot of you,” she continues. “You have to find a new normal. For me, it’s leaning into the support you’ve got. We’re used to being around a big team to be able to compete at the level we do and it’s the same – you’re just having that extra person as part of your team.”
Laura, mum to four, “tag-teams” parenting with her husband and has a supportive community around her.
“I’ve got people in various areas of my life that are great at stepping in, and my kids love it as well,” she says. “On Sunday, for example, my 10-year-old daughter’s got a one-day event, and our head girl is on duty for that.
“It does take a village, but I think the village is what makes it fun. You go through the highs and lows together. If you’re having a bad time, you pick each other up. And if you’re having a great time, then everyone’s celebrating, and it makes it more special.”
From the National Dressage Championships: “It’s taken time to get my head around it”
First-time pregnancy is uncharted territory for anybody. “As an able-bodied person, you don’t know how pregnancy is going to go,” comments Natasha. “You don’t know how childbirth is going to go. You don’t know how coming back is going to go.
“But throw in a disability just for fun, and I had no idea how my body was going to react to carrying a baby or how I would react to having a C-section. Obviously, I do sitting trot without stirrups all the time. So, you know, they cut through all of the layers of my abs getting Josh out. I wasn’t quite sure whether I would be fit enough and strong enough to come back from that so quickly.”
Natasha said her Paralympic selection for 2024 felt “amazing”.
“I just wanted to go out there, do my best and ultimately make him proud, and hopefully in 17 or 18 years, he can look back and say ‘my mum won two bronze medals when I was 16 months old’!”
Laura says balancing her roles as rider and parent has helped her learn to be kinder to herself.
“When you’ve reached a certain level, coming back quite well doesn’t feel good enough, in a way,” she says. “For me, it’s taken a little bit of time to get my head around that.
“Actually, for a little while, I’ve got to change my change my expectations and be a little bit fair on myself as to what I can achieve.”
Laura adds that this has made her more patient, which, she admits, “isn’t my strong point”.
“Once I’m on a horse, I can forget everything”
Both riders stress the importance of “me time” – and both credit horses as a vital source of it.
Laura maximises her effectiveness in the saddle by staying “super organised”.
“I make a very detailed plan of exactly which kid needs to have what with them on which day,” she adds. “Then I can relax, because I know everything’s covered at home.
“I think I’m very good at compartmentalising and sort of switching in and out of gear mentally. Once I’m on a horse, I can very much forget everything. And for that 45 minutes, I can just go into a flow state quite easily.”
Organisation is something Natasha she admits she has had to learn since becoming a parent.
“Laura hit the nail in the head with organisation and planning,” she says. “Leaving for Paris just it was chaos. I think it took me probably about a week to get everything organised. I’m not just packing for me and Lottie [Natasha’s paralympic ride)] any more.
“I wasn’t a very organised person before having Joshua, but you have to learn to be organised. I think that’s probably been the hardest thing.”
“Things have to change, but it doesn’t have to be negative”
Laura says staying at the top is “very much the goal”, “but for example, coming into the championships here, I literally got back from a two-week holiday 10 days ago. That was the only time my husband and I could both go on holiday with the kids.
“It wasn’t ideal preparation. I haven’t had a chance to do a little warm-up show, which was very telling yesterday in my prix st georges!”
Laura has compromises to make, but always keeps the positives in her sights. “Things do have to change, but that doesn’t have to be negative. Like, if you have not such a good day at the office, you go back to your house, and it’s much easier to forget and not dwell on that.”
While Natasha is keen to expand her brood, she still aims to be at the LA Games in 2028 in one capacity or another.
“I’ve still got that drive,” she says. “I’ve still got that competitive spirit, so that’s not going anywhere. I think we’re just going to have to see what life throws at me.
“Either riding or presenting – I will be in LA!”
- To stay up to date with all the breaking news throughout the National Dressage Championships, Blenheim Horse Trials, Horse of the Year Show and more, subscribe to the Horse & Hound website
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