
Hovis
The Destroyer
Hovis shared his weekly diary each Friday on the Horse & Hound website between 2008 and February 2025. Initially located on the popular H&H forum, he moved to the main website in February 2013. He published nine books, each to raise funds for his local equine welfare charity Bransby Horses. You can read all his diary entries below. H&H also published a final tribute to our much-loved equine contributor.
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘We need to buy even bigger balls’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Enough is enough’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Help! I’m on starvation rations and categorically NOT allowed to eat the small ginger one’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I could put you on the moon without the aid of a space craft’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘It’s day 237,549 of winter...’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘you know what they say about boys with big feet – expensive hand-made shoes…’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I’m not angry, I’m just very disappointed’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Go forth and capture’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘This, my friends, is revenge time’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Braving the latest round of Mother Nature’s tizz-woz’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I have more emotional baggage than Heathrow’s left luggage office’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘To come between a woman and food is like sticking your tongue into an electric socket’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘I am much maligned’
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Horse & Hound; 11 January 2024
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘genuinely, what the flip is wrong with her?’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘The water table is higher than mother’s debt’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Decorate trees, not horses’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘We are now freezing our nickynackynooes off’
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Hovis’ Friday diary: ‘Her name’s Lemon and I hope she’s a bit of a tart…’
