# Choosing a first horse for special needs child?



## Zalie (10 August 2015)

My 5 year old son first started riding through his special school, and has since been riding regularly through a local disability charity riding school. Although he just plods along in lead rein walk and occasional trot class, both out in the countryside and in the arena, he loves every second spent riding horses and would spend all day every day on a horse if he could. 

His older sister has just started riding in the past few months (because, in typical sibling fashion, if her brother gets riding lessons, then dammit so does she!), and has really taken to it. She has done a yard safety course, an own a pony day and now has group lessons twice a week. 

Looking ahead, I can see a future filled with horses, and wondered how I would even start to find a horse that could meet both my children's needs?  I know to look for 'bombproof', 'first horse/pony', 'suitable for novice' etc, but obviously there is not likely to be an advert for a horse 'suitable for a tall child who is essentially non verbal and autistic with global developmental delays. Plus his sister, who wants to do pony club type activities...!'

I would not be opposed to loaning, working livery, or any option really, other than owning with DIY livery which gets a big 'nope' from me. The riding school where my son rides doesn't do horse shares, and keep all their wonderful horses for class and volunteer use only.

I'm not looking imminently, but if we did decide later on to go down the horse ownership path, I don't even know what I would be looking for and where to begin? 

Anyone had any experience with this? Any advice, hints and tips would be gratefully received. 

Thank you very much


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## twiggy2 (10 August 2015)

I know one that would e perfect-I think owner would like to sell but may accept a long term loan


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## epeters91 (10 August 2015)

I would look for an old riding school type, you need something experienced that knows his/her job for your daughter to progress and ideally could you put her brother on him to walk around and warm up/cool down in walk and trot? Other option would be to look at local riding schools and see if they would allow you to part loan a pony for your son? How much riding is he going to be doing? If you could make an agreement on a quiet pony for him then you could find a more suitable pony for your daughter that maybe you could have a go on if you wanted to ride out with your son  xx


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## Pearlsasinger (10 August 2015)

Ask the RS where your children ride to help you to find a suitable pony.  They will know your son's abilities and needs and be used to looking for suitable mounts for their riders.  The RDA group I volunteer with has their own family ponies, which hunt over the winter, show in the summer, sj and xc, and RDA 2 - 3 evenings per week.  In other words real all rounders with superb temperaments.


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (10 August 2015)

Hmmm...... re. going for a "riding school type" - I've had one or two of these, and once they get out of being in regular work in a disciplined environment, then they can be the very devil!!! 

You need that one horse in a million don't you OP, good natured, generous, and as honest as the day is long. Very very rare. My first pony was "the one" and I know I was just incredibly lucky.

Unless you find that "perfect" pony/horse, and you know unreservedly 200% that it is totally reliable, I'd be inclined not to rush to purchase, for now. The worst thing you could do is to buy the wrong pony, that would be incredibly easy to do.

For now, I'd let your son continue to enjoy his riding at the centre; and then, at some future point, you may find that the "right" pony may turn up. But I wouldn't be in any hurry. Wait and see what comes up, without stressing, is the best action.


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## Zalie (10 August 2015)

Thank you all very much  We're in no rush, and it sounds like finding the ideal horse is going to take quite a while, so I'll carefully consider all the options you've suggested as we go along, to try and ensure we make the right decision!


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## SO1 (10 August 2015)

I would wait as your son is still very young and growing and his needs in terms of pony size may change over time and if he has special needs or a learning disability he may find parting with a pony once he has got too big for it distressing.

I think finding the right family horse may be tricky but not impossible but will depend somewhat on your daughters ambitions too. If she becomes very ambitious the quiet family friend that would suit your son may not suit your daughter, though it is easier for a more capable rider to adapt to ride a quieter horse than for a less able rider to be able take on a more challenging ride.

If you don't want to do DIY livery then you have to either have the funds to pay for part livery which can be expensive or have a working livery deal or maybe a share agreement. Maybe ask the RDA if there are any opportunities for your son to get more involved and share one of the RDA ponies or if they know of any private ponies that might be suitable for sharing. 

With regard to your daughter then depending on her age her RS may have opportunities to help out at the RS at weekends and holidays in return for some riding.


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## be positive (10 August 2015)

I would wait a few years until they are big enough to ride a 14.2 or thereabouts, then look for a been there done it PC pony, not a pony from a RS, a good native breed would suit both the children and you could ride it as well if you decided to get involved, 14.2 would last for years unless your son gets very heavy and with a PC background it would fulfill your daughters requirements for some time. It is possibly the easiest size to find when looking for something with a suitable background, they tend to be ridden by older teens or adults so do not have so many bad habits ingrained as some smaller ponies can, a native breed is generally fairly level headed and if you find one that has spent years doing PC, shows etc they will have seen most things in life by the time they are 10-15 years old, you will have to pay a premium price for a paragon though.
In the meantime get your daughter involved with the RS, see about joining the local PC or PC centre and continue to let them both develop at their own pace.


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## Barnacle (11 August 2015)

I don't have any experience at all with finding horses for people with special needs (though my brother is disabled and had a few riding lessons when younger so I do have some experience of that side of things, albeit a good while ago).

Something I'll say is don't limit yourself by horse/pony size. I started riding (at 4 years old) on a full warmblood and though my legs weren't quite long enough at first, as soon as they could touch his sides, it was fine as he was such a great school horse. At 5'9" my partner sometimes rides ponies (provided he is light enough for them) as small as 12.2hh - not over jumps but certainly can walk/trot/canter. The right type of horse can be any size and any breed and your children are not so young or small, by the sounds of it, that this should be a limiting factor. 

A nice, steady cob type is what I'd look for - or an American stock breed, if you can find one. Something that is older (teens) and can live out 24/7. And preferably that's used to being ridden about as often as your children are likely to be riding. You don't really want the horse to be doing more than you'll be asking for or it may well change behaviour quite a lot and become a handful. On the other hand, horses that aren't used to work and are suddenly doing a lot might throw a few tantrums and develop bad habits in inexperienced hands. So you really need something closely matched. For your son, I'd try to find something that can be ridden by a child but which isn't actually ridden by children... Horses that are ridden by children (even fairly capable children) often come with a whole bag of tricks to get out of work. Ex school horses can be especially bad so you need to be careful. I would focus on finding something that suits your son. Provided there is no health issue, most horses can do more and even get quite good at it and learn to enjoy it... It's finding one that's slow, trustworthy and will look after you that's harder.

I actually know an older horse who would be absolutely perfect for your son if he could live out 24/7 and who a few years ago (he can't live out all the time now so gets difficult in winter) would have suited your daughter beautifully too. He is an ex school horse, not at all the typical type as he is actually a thoroughbred x arab and around 16hh but he would have had the perfect temperament - very relaxed and happy to plod around but can also go off the leg and school nicely if asked. They do exist... Though something this highlights is that management can change a horse completely - make sure the horse you find is going to be living in similar conditions on a similar work schedule and feeding regime or its personality might change entirely.


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## Zalie (11 August 2015)

Thank you all again for taking the time to reply. You've raised ideas and potential pitfalls that I wouldn't have known to consider, as well as giving me invaluable advice. It's all very much appreciated, and has helped a lot. 

Now I just need a big lottery win and the world's most perfect horse to magically appear at the right time...


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## misst (16 August 2015)

A friend had a daughter with CP who needed a pony. She found a quiet mare with a really friendly personality. She was a Fell Pony, a little big for the child at the time but quiet and kind and more importantly fun. She was a little older than what might have been considered perfect. She did not cost a lot and was a good tough sort easy to do and cheap to run! She lived to a great old age. She had been a broodmare and then a happy hacker for an older lady. Because of her type she was not outgrown quickly and had a long working life. 

I have had an ex riding school pony which in my blissful ignorance thought would be a great buy for my daughter. She was wonderful eventually but once out of daily hard work and given enough (too much!) feed she became a different kettle of fish. I would not have changed her for the world but it took a good year before we had the measure of her and another 6 months before my daughter really really got the best from her.


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## Exploding Chestnuts (16 August 2015)

Surprisingly, such horses do exist, and they are sensitive to a person who has particuar needs, so do advertise for one [or in your case two?]


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## dollyanna (16 August 2015)

I would reiterate not rushing to buy a pony for either of them - unless your daughter is much older, it is more important I think for children to learn gradually, learn the riding but also be given opportunities that allow them to learn how to care for them, and demonstrate that they are willing to give the commitment needed. This might not be such an important issue for your son, but it certainly is for your daughter - and your son might well thrive as much learning the care aspects in his own time too. 
I would suggest getting your son involved as much as possible with the RDA group, including stable management classes as well as riding. Your daughter could do pony weeks at riding schools, join the PC as a non-rider (but could get opportnities to ride other people's ponies if she makes friends there, some families are more than willing to bring their other ponies along for a ponyless rider) and go on PC camp. 
The right pony will be out there, and they can be surprising - for your son you almost don't want to be too prescriptive in what you are looking for beyond the obvious of not too big or too small, preferably an older pony and one who tends to be sensible - but there are always instances of ponies that break this rule. A friend of mine has a 4 yr old who is awful for her to handle but since he was 2 has been amazing for her autistic and disabled son, so he stays and she is learning to befriend him. I think it will be really important to involve his riding instructor in helping you choose as they will know what he needs and where his potential lies as well. But there are many many ponies who live a dual life of perfect special needs pony v PC competition pony, the latter often exist without people knowing of the potential for the former until a need uncovers it.


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## DuckToller (19 August 2015)

You don't say how much knowledge and experience you have - so much of my advice would depend on your knowledge.

If you have had horses before then I wouldn't wait, I would start looking now.  The sooner your son is engaging and enjoying the freedom that a pony brings, the better.  I have been an RDA instructor and the earlier children start the more they gain.  Same for your daughter, although as we are at the end of the summer then maybe wait until next spring as the winter months aren't the best time to start horse ownership with younger children.

As for finding the right pony, I have a pony that would do everything you wanted (he isn't for sale but he does exist) so there are some out there - it's not impossible.  If your daughter is only a few years older than your son then she doesn't need a competition type pony that is also an angel, just a sweet natured forward going pony that will get her started, which is easier to find.  Most ponies will behave on a lead rein, so the priority is to get one that does the job for her but that is calm enough for him.  But if you buy a very steady slow lead rein pony, it may not then be forward enough for your daughter, and will not give the stimulation that your son needs - there is much evidence on how the motion of an active horse stimulates the brain of children with special needs.  Something that needs to be dragged along country roads won't be much fun for any of you 

A lot of first/second ponies don't get advertised - they have a queue of people waiting to snap them up - so you need to be pro-active.  Put out adverts, contact your local pony club, speak to the DC about what you need, read lots of adverts and be prepared to kiss a fair few frogs before you find the right pony.

If you are not an experienced horse person, then as others have said you need to learn how to care for a pony first, which is the hardest part!


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## Zalie (23 August 2015)

Thank you again. I've not ridden since I was 12 years old (sadly a VERY long time ago!), and I have no horse care or ownership experience. I have been investigating beginners courses in yard/horse care (for me, so that I can support my children to give the best care if we do ever do a horse loan or buy our own) but I'm not finding much around here so far. 

There's so much to consider, and I really do appreciate how much time you've all taken to help me by sharing such detailed and useful information


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