# oh the shame whilst out  riding today! no laughing you lot!!!!!



## Shady (1 January 2015)

i can't believe i'm just about to tell you what happened to me today when i went for a nice little ride.
it's a measure of my affection for you horrible lot and my complete lack of pride in myself!!
so here goes
just me out today as OH wanted to practice being a redneck with his new gun and Mr P's hock is a bit dodgy
lovely day so thought the woods would be nice, singing a Tom Waites song today and feeling at one with nature
but' nature' has a way of calling in the cold doesn't it and when you've gotta go you've gotta go and no amount of buttock clenching is going to work past the age of 45.
Hopped of Shadow and as no one lives here( sigh) dropped my jods in the middle of the track to have a pee.
now this is a tricky thing to get right, don't want to pee on your boots or legs so had assumed the 'racing jockey' position and was perfectly balanced for maximum clearance.
for some reason i always look at the ground when i do this so of course totally missed the man walking towards me and was humming away happily and having a little ' relief ' sigh.
what i didn't know was the man was walking his dog and the damn thing came rushing up behind me and stuck his nose in a place a nose should never go.
i let out the most caveman like yell and catapulted forward into the prehistoric birthing position , jods round my knees and my arse to the sky.
call it what you will, cheeks to the wind , bum high, all i know is that my arse is whiter than the moon and you could probably see it from there .
what's even worse is that i know him, he's with the hunt and  sells vegetables in the village on Thursdays , he will tell EVERYBODY, i can never go out again!
they will all say that Beaver have been sighted back near the river again!
oh ,the shame...
Happy New Year everybody!
xx


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## Highlands (1 January 2015)

Sorry tea over iPad..


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## SpringArising (1 January 2015)

Shady said:



			i can't believe i'm just about to tell you what happened to me today when i went for a nice little ride.
it's a measure of my affection for you horrible lot and my complete lack of pride in myself!!
so here goes
just me out today as OH wanted to practice being a redneck with his new gun and Mr P's hock is a bit dodgy
lovely day so thought the woods would be nice, singing a Tom Waites song today and feeling at one with nature
but' nature' has a way of calling in the cold doesn't it and when you've gotta go you've gotta go and no amount of buttock clenching is going to work past the age of 45.
Hopped of Shadow and as no one lives here( sigh) dropped my jods in the middle of the track to have a pee.
now this is a tricky thing to get right, don't want to pee on your boots or legs so had assumed the 'racing jockey' position and was perfectly balanced for maximum clearance.
for some reason i always look at the ground when i do this so of course totally missed the man walking towards me and was humming away happily and having a little ' relief ' sigh.
what i didn't know was the man was walking his dog and the damn thing came rushing up behind me and stuck his nose in a place a nose should never go.
i let out the most caveman like yell and catapulted forward into the prehistoric birthing position , jods round my knees and my arse to the sky.
call it what you will, cheeks to the wind , bum high, all i know is that my arse is whiter than the moon and you could probably see it from there .
what's even worse is that i know him, he's with the hunt and  sells vegetables in the village on Thursdays , he will tell EVERYBODY, i can never go out again!
they will all say that Beaver have been sighted back near the river again!
oh ,the shame...
Happy New Year everybody!
xx
		
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That's so, so funny. Sounds exactly like something that would happen to me!


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## kirstys 1 (1 January 2015)

*Sniggers*


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## Redders (1 January 2015)

Oh my word! I almost did similar-but I had an ahem, dodgy belly, and I really needed to go, I didn't get caught, but I did stand in it as I was mounting. I was so ashamed of myself! But when you gotta go, you gotta go!


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (1 January 2015)

Haaa haaa, hee hee. Loved it.

Reminds me of an incident from Pony Club days (many MANY moons  ago, yeah sorry, "moons", gettit, sorry wasn't intending that one LOL). We were on some local common land where military use it (still do!) for training. We were doing a treasure hunt, divvied up into small teams of four.

It was a long day, we'd hacked to the event AND ridden round the country, and friend needed to Visit the Little Girls Room....... except that there wasn't, only a little glade in a piece of woodland. Someone held her pony, she pulled down her jods and did the Deed; and with that there was a huge cheer of manly vigour all around.

We were in the middle of a bunch of red-blooded soldiers, all done up in cammaflage - poor girl, oh the shame of it.

Another incident was with a friend who'd gone skiing for the first time. She wasn't very good at it, bless her, and like all first time skiers didn't really have a lot of control. She'd gone up the mountain, and, like you do, needed the lav, and went off the ski track, piste or whatever its called, into some trees and pulled down her ski trousers to do the necessary. She hadn't taken her skis off........ and suddenly there was this scream and she'd gone pelting out at top speed onto the main ski runway, with her trousers and knickers down round her ankles, yelling and screaming blue murder, with her backside and foof on display for all to see 

Poor love, she never lived that one down.

So feel for you OP. But you've probably made not only this guy's day, but his year as well!!! So well done!


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## Princess16 (1 January 2015)

Hilarious but when you've gotta go you've gotta go ! Looooool


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## dreambigpony (1 January 2015)

I feel for you but this is just hilarious!! Sorry!


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## Merrymoles (1 January 2015)

Snort! Sorry but very funny! Tea all over dog...


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## Dave's Mam (1 January 2015)

Beer all over laptop.  When nature calls, you have to answer!


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## Shady (1 January 2015)

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:



			Haaa haaa, hee hee. Loved it.

Reminds me of an incident from Pony Club days (many MANY moons  ago, yeah sorry, "moons", gettit, sorry wasn't intending that one LOL). We were on some local common land where military use it (still do!) for training. We were doing a treasure hunt, divvied up into small teams of four.

It was a long day, we'd hacked to the event AND ridden round the country, and friend needed to Visit the Little Girls Room....... except that there wasn't, only a little glade in a piece of woodland. Someone held her pony, she pulled down her jods and did the Deed; and with that there was a huge cheer of manly vigour all around.

We were in the middle of a bunch of red-blooded soldiers, all done up in cammaflage - poor girl, oh the shame of it.

Another incident was with a friend who'd gone skiing for the first time. She wasn't very good at it, bless her, and like all first time skiers didn't really have a lot of control. She'd gone up the mountain, and, like you do, needed the lav, and went off the ski track, piste or whatever its called, into some trees and pulled down her ski trousers to do the necessary. She hadn't taken her skis off........ and suddenly there was this scream and she'd gone pelting out at top speed onto the main ski runway, with her trousers and knickers down round her ankles, yelling and screaming blue murder, with her backside and foof on display for all to see 

Poor love, she never lived that one down.

So feel for you OP. But you've probably made not only this guy's day, but his year as well!!! So well done! 

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hah, love the ' moon ' pun!!!!
god i think i'd have died if it had been the army seeing my bum, bad enough trying to get a tight pair of jods up whilst trying not to expose the other side of me which i failed to do as his dog was jumping all over me, could almost hear him going '' ooh la la ''!


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## HaffiesRock (1 January 2015)

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:



			Haaa haaa, hee hee. Loved it.

Reminds me of an incident from Pony Club days (many MANY moons  ago, yeah sorry, "moons", gettit, sorry wasn't intending that one LOL). We were on some local common land where military use it (still do!) for training. We were doing a treasure hunt, divvied up into small teams of four.

It was a long day, we'd hacked to the event AND ridden round the country, and friend needed to Visit the Little Girls Room....... except that there wasn't, only a little glade in a piece of woodland. Someone held her pony, she pulled down her jods and did the Deed; and with that there was a huge cheer of manly vigour all around.

We were in the middle of a bunch of red-blooded soldiers, all done up in cammaflage - poor girl, oh the shame of it.

Another incident was with a friend who'd gone skiing for the first time. She wasn't very good at it, bless her, and like all first time skiers didn't really have a lot of control. She'd gone up the mountain, and, like you do, needed the lav, and went off the ski track, piste or whatever its called, into some trees and pulled down her ski trousers to do the necessary. She hadn't taken her skis off........ and suddenly there was this scream and she'd gone pelting out at top speed onto the main ski runway, with her trousers and knickers down round her ankles, yelling and screaming blue murder, with her backside and foof on display for all to see 

Poor love, she never lived that one down.

So feel for you OP. But you've probably made not only this guy's day, but his year as well!!! So well done! 

Click to expand...


It's always the "friend" isn't it... Only kidding, you can't beat a good embarrassing story though. Happy New Year!


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## ROMANY 1959 (1 January 2015)

oMG just spat mince pie all over ipad!!!!! 
At least you never landed in bunch nettles like I did many years ago when caught short, horsey stood nice for me while I did what I had to do, but then he got bit too friendly and nudged me a bit hard...and I sat in the ditch in a bunch of nettles... I walked home!, couldn't sit in the saddle for 3 days!!!


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## Crugeran Celt (1 January 2015)

Brilliant, made me laugh.


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## Liz H (1 January 2015)

Superb! Not only are horses a great leveller, our own digestive system always seems to take the p***. Sorry couldn't help myself, oops there I go again, and again.........


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## AmieeT (1 January 2015)

Crying with laughter! I'm sorry Shady, you write the most amazing threads!!   

Belly laughing so much that my non-existent abs hurt 

Ax


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## Cinnamontoast (1 January 2015)

Oh, brilliant! Sorry to snigger away, but the visual image is all too much! You poor lamb, you're not going to live that one down anytime soon!


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## Red-1 (1 January 2015)

Thank you Soooooo much for sharing that! :-D


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## Penny Less (1 January 2015)

This is where men have an unfair advantage don't they? Just stand there and whistle


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## Fransurrey (1 January 2015)

My God, I nearly choked!!


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## Rapidash (1 January 2015)

I'm assuming you're moving to Australia now so good luck!


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## Tern (1 January 2015)

Bahaha! Brilliant, Did he just walk past.. did he laugh?


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## dizzyneddy (1 January 2015)

Aww bless you at least you wasn't the girl who was caught by the army now that would be enough to make me want emigrate


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## Peregrine Falcon (1 January 2015)

*Snorts with laughter*.  

Brilliant thanks all for the stories so far.  :lol:


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## Landcruiser (1 January 2015)

Very funny, tears of laughter!


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## Supertrooper (1 January 2015)

Shady - please please someday can you put all these in a book, you're a genius  

I'm sorry but I giggled a lot


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## Supertrooper (1 January 2015)

Oh and if it makes you feel better I was caught stark naked having a wee on the toilet by one of my colleagues at work. And he was male :-(. I nearly died of embarrassment and he's now moved to Australia funnily enough ;-)


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (1 January 2015)

Shady said:



			his dog and the damn thing came rushing up behind me and stuck his nose in a place a nose should never go.

xx
		
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Umm, yah and the dog probably got a helluva thrill as well!!! Hee hee


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## cremedemonthe (1 January 2015)

Penny Less said:



			This is where men have an unfair advantage don't they? Just stand there and whistle
		
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Yes we do but we still have embarrassing moments like weeing up a post without reading the poster stuck to the top of the post which said "WARNING A MAN EXPOSING HIMSELF HAS BEEN SEEN IN THESE WOODS, BE ON YOUR GUARD" as well as weeing up a tree and a posh looking lady with her dog and 2 daughters came round the corner as I was going.
Worst one I have done is on a dog walk,having wee in a wood and as I went something large and brown moved by my foot making me jump backwards.It was a toad and I had pee'd on it but I had also wee'd all down my trousers as I jumped backwards. Was pretty obvious what I had done and met loads of dog walkers I knew on the way home.
I have wee'd on a snake on a muck heap too before now, it slithered past me as I was going, so stopped what I was doing and caught it.38 inches long!

My mate's girlfriend came off road riding (motorbike enduro) on Weavers Down with us and she wanted to go for a wee so went off leaving us blokes to carry on racing, when we saw her next she looked flustered.She said she was in mid wee when 8 or 9 squaddies in full camouflage gear got up out of bushes right next to her and walked off grinning from ear to ear, we were right in the Army training ground.


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## gmw (1 January 2015)

I would go round village bemoaning the fact that your TWIN sister took your horse out  (stating precise date and time) for a hack without your permission!!!!!


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## Ladyinred (1 January 2015)

Oh the shame!! Bad enough someone came along but for it to be someone you recognised.... oh dear.

ETA there is a certain irony to the fact your horse is called MrP.......


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## Shady (1 January 2015)

Tern said:



			Bahaha! Brilliant, Did he just walk past.. did he laugh? 

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got to hand it to the french, he said' Bonjour Madame, you have a very beautiful............. horse!!
very..... sleek!!!!


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## Adopter (1 January 2015)

Thanks for sharing, could not help laughing, poor you!

I recommend a shpee!  I always have one in my pocket when out in countryside now!


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## Red-1 (1 January 2015)

gmw said:



			I would go round village bemoaning the fact that your TWIN sister took your horse out  (stating precise date and time) for a hack without your permission!!!!!
		
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Good idea!!!!


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## Marion (1 January 2015)

Thats so funny, best thing I have heard today, thank you for really cheering me up!


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## Shady (1 January 2015)

gmw said:



			I would go round village bemoaning the fact that your TWIN sister took your horse out  (stating precise date and time) for a hack without your permission!!!!!
		
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this is a fantastic idea except if i had ever had a twin sister she would have spent every penny( hah did you get that one!)  she had having major surgery so nobody could ever mistake us as i am a total dimwit whose 2 brain cells occasionally collide , i have a desperate husband who would like to either gag me or have me commited and has often pretended that he doesn't know me !


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## Liz H (1 January 2015)

Supertrooper said:



			Oh and if it makes you feel better I was caught stark naked having a wee on the toilet by one of my colleagues at work. And he was male :-(. I nearly died of embarrassment and he's now moved to Australia funnily enough ;-)
		
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Why, naked, do tell.....


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## pennyturner (1 January 2015)

Thanks for brightening my day.

I always say you can tell the girls brought up around horses - they're the ones who can't be bothered to walk to the loos if there's a bush or horsebox closer!  It's something I first observed in the posh girls at university.  As a miner's daughter, I was scandalised


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## happyclappy (1 January 2015)

hhhhahhahahahaha. sorry.


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## Supertrooper (1 January 2015)

Liz H said:



			Why, naked, do tell.....
		
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Well part of my job is as a dog hydrotherapist, for this I wear a wetsuit and I normally get changed in pool room. On this day I couldn't as we had a film crew setting up in there so I had to get changed in toilet. Was having a wee before putting my wetsuit on and must have forgotten to lock door :-( 

Such a nice polite vet too, he insists he only saw my leg ;-) 

All the rest of my lovely colleagues just died laughing!!


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## Slightlyconfused (1 January 2015)

Brilliant!!!

Just read to the whole family and we are in stitches!


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## mainpower (1 January 2015)

I hopped off mid hack for a pee in a bush, when my horse got spooked by some horses trotting down the road. She shot out of the bush with me hanging on for dear life and dragged me across the common with my knickers and jodhs round my ankles.
Another time I needed to go on a long car journey. Hopped out and went behind a bush on the roadside. Didn't realise until I'd finished that my phone had fallen out of my pocket and was in direct line of my "trajectory "!


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## TheresaW (1 January 2015)

I have just read these to OH, and I e actually got tears in my eyes from laughing.

I wasn't "caught out" as such, but was hacking with my friend and needed to go.  She held doll while I walked off into the trees, did my business and came back.  I just said in passing, do you think anyone saw me, her reply, "dressed from head to toe in bright pink? Nah, I'm sure you got away with it".


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## RaposadeGengibre (1 January 2015)

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:



			It was a long day, we'd hacked to the event AND ridden round the country, and friend needed to Visit the Little Girls Room....... except that there wasn't, only a little glade in a piece of woodland. Someone held her pony, she pulled down her jods and did the Deed; and with that there was a huge cheer of manly vigour all around.

We were in the middle of a bunch of red-blooded soldiers, all done up in cammaflage - poor girl, oh the shame of it.
		
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At least she hadnt peed ON a soldier


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## el_Snowflakes (1 January 2015)

Oh god, tesco for your veg from now on!! &#128541;


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## ELAINE.69 (1 January 2015)

that's got the new year of to good start with bloody good belly laugh


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## Tern (1 January 2015)

Shady said:



			got to hand it to the french, he said' Bonjour Madame, you have a very beautiful............. horse!!
very..... sleek!!!!
		
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Wow.. smoooth.  Typical frenchie, eh.


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## Tobiano (1 January 2015)

OMG Shady, poor you but that was hilarious!  Think I may have ruptured something from laughing.  Just the notion of the dog goosing you and making it impossible to compose yourself quickly&#8230;

Could you change your horse's appearance drastically? e.g.  turn out without rugs  for a while to grow lots of hair quickly so it is no longer sleek and you can deny it was you?!


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## LittleRooketRider (1 January 2015)

sorry... but pah ***snortin g uncontrollably***


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## OldNag (1 January 2015)

These have absolutely made my day


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## conkers (1 January 2015)

Thanks so much for brightening both mine and my OH's day.


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## mairiwick (1 January 2015)

Oooh nooo!! Haha!

I've had a near miss when I hopped off for a pee in the forest and was just wiggling my jods back up when a family and dog appeared. I attempted to make it look like I had been tying my shoe lace (which would have been tricky as was in long boots!) But I think I got away with it!


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## AmyJai (1 January 2015)

Shady said:



			i can't believe i'm just about to tell you what happened to me today when i went for a nice little ride.
it's a measure of my affection for you horrible lot and my complete lack of pride in myself!!
so here goes
just me out today as OH wanted to practice being a redneck with his new gun and Mr P's hock is a bit dodgy
lovely day so thought the woods would be nice, singing a Tom Waites song today and feeling at one with nature
but' nature' has a way of calling in the cold doesn't it and when you've gotta go you've gotta go and no amount of buttock clenching is going to work past the age of 45.
Hopped of Shadow and as no one lives here( sigh) dropped my jods in the middle of the track to have a pee.
now this is a tricky thing to get right, don't want to pee on your boots or legs so had assumed the 'racing jockey' position and was perfectly balanced for maximum clearance.
for some reason i always look at the ground when i do this so of course totally missed the man walking towards me and was humming away happily and having a little ' relief ' sigh.
what i didn't know was the man was walking his dog and the damn thing came rushing up behind me and stuck his nose in a place a nose should never go.
i let out the most caveman like yell and catapulted forward into the prehistoric birthing position , jods round my knees and my arse to the sky.
call it what you will, cheeks to the wind , bum high, all i know is that my arse is whiter than the moon and you could probably see it from there .
what's even worse is that i know him, he's with the hunt and  sells vegetables in the village on Thursdays , he will tell EVERYBODY, i can never go out again!
they will all say that Beaver have been sighted back near the river again!
oh ,the shame...
Happy New Year everybody!
xx
		
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I have posted this on my facebook as it made me laugh so much! and its so brilliantly written xD Thanks for sharing, I really did laugh!!! After all there's no point having these embarrassing moments if they are left unshared!!


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## Hoof_Prints (1 January 2015)

hahaha loving these! poor you OP, but at least the army didn't catch you  How embarrasing ! I'm surprised at myself that I can't think of any times I've been caught, the bridlepaths around here must be quiet!


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## Luci07 (1 January 2015)

There is a somewhat suprised puppy next to me with Ribena spat all over her...


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## Donnie Darco (1 January 2015)

Sorry OP but hahahahahahahahaha

lmao - if you'll pardon the pun ...&#128558;&#9786;&#65039;&#128077;


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## debsflo (1 January 2015)

omg ,i would have died....


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## Sukistokes2 (1 January 2015)

Supertrooper said:



			Well part of my job is as a dog hydrotherapist, for this I wear a wetsuit and I normally get changed in pool room. On this day I couldn't as we had a film crew setting up in there so I had to get changed in toilet. Was having a wee before putting my wetsuit on and must have forgotten to lock door :-( 

Such a nice polite vet too, he insists he only saw my leg ;-) 

All the rest of my lovely colleagues just died laughing!!
		
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Don't you usually pee into those, you know to keep warm and all that!?


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## Supertrooper (1 January 2015)

No!!!!!!!!


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## Greylegs (1 January 2015)

Would someone tell me the best way to get wine off an iPad, please.

&#128516;&#128516;&#128516;&#128516;&#128516;&#128516;

Hysterical ... Thanks for brightening my day.


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## stencilface (1 January 2015)

Thankyou you lot!


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## Sukistokes2 (1 January 2015)

I had a very near miss when I was out once.... I only just got my knickers back up and settled, when the whole of Maidstone cycling club shot past, I managed to look really innocent , like I was fiddling with my girth. Think i winged it!!!


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## MileAMinute (1 January 2015)

Never a dull moment with you around, is there Shady?!


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## Midlifecrisis (1 January 2015)

Oh god forgive me I ve just shared this with my familichi ( as sister and I have experienced similar) and sister is wheezing thru laughing so much...I d move if I were you Shady!


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## Roasted Chestnuts (1 January 2015)

LOL such awesome stories


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## Shady (1 January 2015)

Midlifecrisis said:



			Oh god forgive me I ve just shared this with my familichi ( as sister and I have experienced similar) and sister is wheezing thru laughing so much...I d move if I were you Shady!
		
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yes indeed but where?! i'm a walking catastrophy and weirdo magnet , i have 1 neighbour and he creeps around using a night site and infra red, i'm convinced he's also seen my arse as he said he'd seen me up on the hill the other day and i know i had a pee there too!


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## Shady (1 January 2015)

oh my god , facebook? FACEBOOK!!
AimeeJai i insist you buy me that ticket to Australia, or the North Pole, whichever is cheapest! i can wear a big hat in both places, no one will recognise me 
until i have an incident with either a kangaroo or a polar bear, give it 6 months tops!


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## Redders (1 January 2015)

I am so so glad it's not just me who will go anywhere! I need to show this to non horsey friends so they know I'm not abnormal!


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## Lintel (1 January 2015)

What a way to bring in 2015. 
Lmao.


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## Midlifecrisis (1 January 2015)

Shady said:



			yes indeed but where?! i'm a walking catastrophy and weirdo magnet , i have 1 neighbour and he creeps around using a night site and infra red, i'm convinced he's also seen my arse as he said he'd seen me up on the hill the other day and i know i had a pee there too!
		
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Oh god she s wheezing again....and my red wine dribbled down my cleavage...sister suggests a pee before leaving the house and OH thinks a doctors visit required (ignore him he doesn't understand).....I have similar situations arise and just hate winter and defoliated woods especially as I wear hi viz..there is just no cover at all!  Hummm where could you move to with freedom to pee undisturbed and unwatched from a distance......


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## Ella19 (1 January 2015)

I got caught short fence judging at college, out in the back field by the 90 bank, there was a course hold with no one in sight. Quickly nipped to the novice bank to gain some privacy. Mid flow knickers round my ankles a voice from above says sit back and don't fall off there poignantly looking at moi! Died of embarrassment! Thankfully mother didn't come back to that part of the course and rider was too busy to care. As far as I had been aware no one was walking the novice until the next day oops! friend was in hysterics.

Following day we were further down the field, no loo or Bush for miles but situated in knee high grass. Friend devises sitting on the edge of the car to wee out discreetly hidden by the grass from the road. This had worked well until half way through the afternoon, rider jumped our fence and friend jumped out to pee. We had timed you could go just between riders! Rider promptly falls off at the next fence big style causing ambulance, course builder, vet, you name it come charging down the hill and park around our car. Meanwhile I'm shouting at friend they're coming and she's shouting she can't stop. By the time they reached is I'm in hysterics and friend is bright red whilst causally trying to pull her trousers up and clamber back into the car!


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## SunSeeker (1 January 2015)

Oh that's priceless Shady! !!   So funny.

If it's any consolation I don't suppose the French guy would be bothered at all, many seem to make a call of nature wherever they like from what ive witnessed!


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## The Fuzzy Furry (1 July 2017)

Shady,  am very sorry to bring this totally shaming (To you) thread back, but a friend got caught out by local farmer late this afternoon,  doing exactly the same :biggrin3:  
Took me a while to find this thread,   but just had to mention it.....


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## SEL (1 July 2017)

Fantastic thread to resurrect!


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## splashgirl45 (1 July 2017)

this thread has made my evening, very funny...thanks shady and all of the other posters who admit to embarrassing moments...


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## cobsarefab (1 July 2017)

This is better than flashing six male walkers trying to climb a gate in your school skirt before you put tights on. At least I had my pants up though oh I so needed a laugh at the moment :lol: 
P.s spat milk on pheasant chick when I read this!


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## Meredith (1 July 2017)

This has probably happened to a fair few others.

Out hunting,mounted field go flying off into the far distance, friend and I decide it is good time for a comfort stop. Friend climbs gate into field, does whatever and returns. I climb gate into field, begin and then hear a chorus of " We know what..... "etc as the Huntsman, smiling broadly, followed by all mounted field ride past.

Big horses, low hedge, oops!


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## Shady (2 July 2017)

The Fuzzy Furry said:



			Shady,  am very sorry to bring this totally shaming (To you) thread back, but a friend got caught out by local farmer late this afternoon,  doing exactly the same :biggrin3:  
Took me a while to find this thread,   but just had to mention it.....  

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OMG  Fuzzy Wuzzy, you are an evil little purple blob, am mentally plucking your fuzz off !!!!!
 My cheeks( hehe) are red again just reading this ........ BUT
I can almost top this one , just not sure i can stand the public shame a second time 
Maybe i will post later.........xx


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## Beth206 (2 July 2017)

Hilarious!


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## dizzyneddy (2 July 2017)

Shady said:



			OMG  Fuzzy Wuzzy, you are an evil little purple blob, am mentally plucking your fuzz off !!!!!
 My cheeks( hehe) are red again just reading this ........ BUT
I can almost top this one , just not sure i can stand the public shame a second time 
Maybe i will post later.........xx
		
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You can't leave it at that Shady, you've got to spill the beans &#55357;&#56832;


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## claracanter (2 July 2017)

OO ...er..... Not a good look!!!!

Clutching at straws, he was probably embarrassed too


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## The Fuzzy Furry (2 July 2017)

Shady said:



			OMG  Fuzzy Wuzzy, you are an evil little purple blob, am mentally plucking your fuzz off !!!!!
 My cheeks( hehe) are red again just reading this ........ BUT
I can almost top this one , just not sure i can stand the public shame a second time 
Maybe i will post later.........xx
		
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Oops, sorry! :biggrin3:

Spill the beans m'dear......


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## scats (2 July 2017)

Same happened to me. Last year, went to watch my cousin do a drive at Oulton Park and my bladder, as usual, let me down about 5 mins away.  Asked Dad to pull in and hopped out the car and found a little 'bushy area' (no pun intended!) in the woods and ahh the relief.  Then I heard voices and turned around to see that I had parked my white bare behind right next to a bridlepath and there was a lady and a young girl riding past, laughing their heads off.  I was mid pee, so there was no stopping, so I just put my head down and carried on.  My dad then shouts out from the car, "I bet you weren't expecting to see that out on your hack!" 

This is where someone from the forum pipes up and tells me it was them...


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## cobsarefab (2 July 2017)

Come on Shady, what happened?


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## Red-1 (2 July 2017)

Shady said:



			OMG  Fuzzy Wuzzy, you are an evil little purple blob, am mentally plucking your fuzz off !!!!!
 My cheeks( hehe) are red again just reading this ........ BUT
I can almost top this one , just not sure i can stand the public shame a second time 
Maybe i will post later.........xx
		
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Please do!


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (2 July 2017)

Luvvit OP! Ohh the shame, nope you'll never be able to look the guy in the eye again, not ever.

I remember a similar sort of incident many years ago now when I was in Pony Club; we went for a Treasure Hunt up on the nearby common, where the military also trained (and still do).

Friend on her pony had to stop off and have a sprinkle. I held hers while she popped behind a bush and did the deed. Then suddenly all the bushes around us started moving!! We were surrounded by young soldiers on training!! OMG was the poor girl embarrassed, the rest of us were just heaving with laughter, hilarious! Don't think she'd ever have lived that one down either.


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## Bubblewrap (2 July 2017)

Great thread! Lots of chuckling here! We were out on a hack and some ramblers were ahead, one lady stayed back to have a pee not realising we were following. She got quite shirty about being caught! X


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## cobsarefab (2 July 2017)

Come on shady, we'll be understanding


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## rubyroo92 (2 July 2017)

this made my day .. howling


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## cobsarefab (2 July 2017)

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:



			Luvvit OP! Ohh the shame, nope you'll never be able to look the guy in the eye again, not ever.

I remember a similar sort of incident many years ago now when I was in Pony Club; we went for a Treasure Hunt up on the nearby common, where the military also trained (and still do).

Friend on her pony had to stop off and have a sprinkle. I held hers while she popped behind a bush and did the deed. Then suddenly all the bushes around us started moving!! We were surrounded by young soldiers on training!! OMG was the poor girl embarrassed, the rest of us were just heaving with laughter, hilarious! Don't think she'd ever have lived that one down either.
		
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Lots of you get caught by soldiers


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## Rollin (2 July 2017)

I cannot bring myself to tell one English friend, why another English friend no longer invites her and her French husband to summer BBQ's.  The reason is hostess found Frenchman peeing in her garden, unabashed he zipped up and in polite French fashion, offered the to shake hands with the 'same' hand and a polite Bonjour.


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## impresario08 (2 July 2017)

no toilet at my yard and I'm always terrified of this happening to me hahah


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## Orangehorse (2 July 2017)

Rollin said:



			I cannot bring myself to tell one English friend, why another English friend no longer invites her and her French husband to summer BBQ's.  The reason is hostess found Frenchman peeing in her garden, unabashed he zipped up and in polite French fashion, offered the to shake hands with the 'same' hand and a polite Bonjour.
		
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I was in Normandy for the World Championships eventing x country and when we (eventually) arrived at the coach parking there were  lines of gentlemen peeing into the surrounding woodland and they weren't making much effort to be discrete about it. We English ladies had a polite titter and averted our eyes.

Out riding once I can remember dying to go but everywere I looked there was a house overlooking.  In the end I managed to scamble over a barbed wire fence next to some woodland and held the reins and hoped that a) the horse would stand still and b) no one would come along and c) I wouldn't get hooked up on the wire.


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## rabatsa (3 July 2017)

With me it was a low wall and a double decker bus.


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## MyBoyChe (3 July 2017)

This thread is making me smile, Im just glad Im not the only one who often has to get off mid hack.  My pony is well accustomed to being "parked" head first in a bush whilst I try to crouch discreetly behind it for a wee.  He takes the opportunity to eat and is more than happy to stand still for a minute, although tbh, Im not sure how discreet 14.2 of large highland pony is, stood with his bum on the track and his head in a bush, Im sure folk can put 2 and 2 together, although I do try to check all avenues of sight before dismounting  Ive never been caught doing the deed but occasionally I only just avoid it and try to pretend Im adjusting the saddle!


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## Orangehorse (3 July 2017)

pennyturner said:



			Thanks for brightening my day.

I always say you can tell the girls brought up around horses - they're the ones who can't be bothered to walk to the loos if there's a bush or horsebox closer!  It's something I first observed in the posh girls at university.  As a miner's daughter, I was scandalised 

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Yea - much quicker to go in the stable than walk round to the outside loo.


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## Ladyinred (3 July 2017)

We need to keep bumping this until we get the latest incident from Shady!


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## cobsarefab (3 July 2017)

Ladyinred said:



			We need to keep bumping this until we get the latest incident from Shady!
		
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Yup


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## Peregrine Falcon (3 July 2017)

**yells loudly*    SHADY!!!!!!!!!!


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## cobsarefab (3 July 2017)

Cmon shady!


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## Shady (3 July 2017)

Peregrine Falcon said:



			**yells loudly*    SHADY!!!!!!!!!!
		
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Gahhhh, now i'm deaf in BOTH ears 

Ok,Ok but it's an hour ahead here so you'd better be nice while i have me snoozies, that's if i can with blummin tinnitus, fog horn PF 

 Have you ever been out for a ride and there's just something really irritating you in your jods?
I was out with my OH and i just couldn't get comfy, something was prickling my bum, i kept plucking at it, as you do, and squirming around, no , just couldn't get it, it felt like a thorn stuck in my bum cheek. 
What to do eh?
There was only one thing for it, the jods would have to come down so i could have a look, then the OH had a better idea...
He would have a look
So there i was with my jods and knickers round my knees and the OH kneeling down minutely examining my left bum cheek  and what do i see when i look up?
A monk and a nun staring at us in horror
I am not blessed 
xxx


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## Peregrine Falcon (3 July 2017)

*sniggering very loudly*

Only you Shady.  Did he find anything?

(fog horn?!  How did you know?!)


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## OldNag (4 July 2017)

That has absolutely made my day.

 It really could only happen to you, Shady! (And I mean that in the nicest way).


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## Ladyinred (4 July 2017)

Shady said:



			Gahhhh, now i'm deaf in BOTH ears 

Ok,Ok but it's an hour ahead here so you'd better be nice while i have me snoozies, that's if i can with blummin tinnitus, fog horn PF 

 Have you ever been out for a ride and there's just something really irritating you in your jods?
I was out with my OH and i just couldn't get comfy, something was prickling my bum, i kept plucking at it, as you do, and squirming around, no , just couldn't get it, it felt like a thorn stuck in my bum cheek. 
What to do eh?
There was only one thing for it, the jods would have to come down so i could have a look, then the OH had a better idea...
He would have a look
So there i was with my jods and knickers round my knees and the OH kneeling down minutely examining my left bum cheek  and what do i see when i look up?
A monk and a nun staring at us in horror
I am not blessed 
xxx
		
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And what were a monk and a nun doing strolling in the middle of nowhere together? And HOW did you not see them?

I expect they are both saying rosaries and praying for your lost soul (separately of course)


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## Shady (4 July 2017)

Oldnag and PF.... you are horrors, both of you 

LIR   have you not watched The Blues Brothers?? nuns are very  sneaky!  
I live between 2 villages and there is a huge convent in one of them, they obviously glide around the bridleways looking for the damned  xxx 

off to look at puppies this morning, whoo hoo


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## cobsarefab (4 July 2017)

Good luck with the puppies and let us hope they don't recognise you with your trousers pulled up. :lol:


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