# Is he trying to bully me?



## Kat0111 (28 March 2017)

Hi all, 

I am new to the whole caring for horses thing (have always ridden though). Anyway, i have recently started helping my mother in law look after her three horses. She has a yearling, who is lovely (a little feral, but we'll get there), a Dartmoor pony, and an Arab gelding. The pony and the foal are fine, but I am fairly sure that the arab is trying to dominate/bully me. So much so that mother in law has now had to put him in the field at the back, as he will not move from the gate to enable me to put hay in the field. Basically, when i turn up to the field, he looks happy, ears forward interested, the ears then go flat back and i get a face pulled at me. When i try to get into the field to put hay out he will not move, he throws his head up, stamps his back feet and will not move. I even go in with a riding crop to wave about to get him to move (this did work for a bit, but no longer). Mother in law just shoves the food under the gate and off she goes (don't start on this one, it drives me mad, but they are her horses and her fields so i'm kinda stuck there) I like to put the food down in the field and 'do it properly' it also gets them away from the gate, but when i can't get into the field it makes it impossible. He has now been moved to the next field along, he can still see what is going on, and he still guards the gate, but it causes less issues for me and i can see to the foal without the both of us being picked on. 

So i just want to know how to deal with it? I don't want to shout and holler at him, i don't think it is ideal for the foal to see this and i don't like doing it! I also want him to be a good role model for the foal.. BUT at this stage will do what needs to be done..!!

Any ideas, gladly welcomed! But please no negativity, as these are not my horses or my land, I am just trying to help out and get some experience for when I can have my own!

Thanks all


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## be positive (28 March 2017)

If they are used to your MIL just shoving the hay under the gate most of the time then the Arab is simply behaving normally expecting you to do the same, he should give you room to go in but she is training him to remain where he is and without consistent handling and you both having the same rules I don't think it fair to "blame" him and isolate him from the others, he is doing nothing wrong in his mind and you going in waving whips about is just confusing matters. 
As for what to do I expect once the grass comes through and they are not getting hay he will be less attracted to the gate and be more cooperative, I would be inclined to make friends with him, pop a headcollar on and do a bit of leading/ basic groundwork so he sees you as someone who takes an interest rather than just the food supplier or an annoyance, a few mins a day should be enough to get his attention and you can do the same with the foal so he learns to go with you when asked, Arabs are very bright if he is never getting out doing anything and has limited stimulation he may be very bored and enjoy some quality time even a token could be worthwhile.


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## Kat0111 (28 March 2017)

Thank you for that. I had wondered about doing some work with him, as once he has a bridle on he is an angel! I guess i need to 'grow a pair' and get on with it.. i admit that i am very intimidated by him because of his behaviour. I used to occasionally ride him and he was lovely - like a totally different horse! Mother in law doesn't do anything with him, she hasn't ever ridden him. In terms of love and food he has been spoilt, but in terms of human interaction he has been pretty neglected, it's a shame really. And i totally get that now i am coming in and actually getting involved he just can't be bothered with it and that i am an annoyance! 
I know it's not his fault, it's just frustrating. I have tried persuading mother in law to not to shove food under the gate, aside from the encouraging 'guarding the gate' she is actually really damaging the ground and wasting so much food! But alas, i am fighting a losing battle : ( 
Thanks for your advice and wish me luck!!


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## Pearlsasinger (28 March 2017)

I would *never* ask a novice to take food into a field with loose horses. You have to know your horses well and be sure that. they are not going to push each other  out of the way, there is an accident waiting to happen and you could get seriously hurt. We have horses in two fields, I wouldn't take hay into the fields with either pair. I bring them in while the hay is put out.  Or stand outside the fence and throw the hay where I want the horses to eat it.
Your MIL has shown you how she does the job, do it the way she has shown you and keep yourself and the horses safe.
I can imagine  the thread mil would start "My novice DIL thinks she knows better than me"


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## Meowy Catkin (28 March 2017)

I agree with Pearl. He's been trained to wait right by the gate by you MIL as the hay is then shoved through the gate. You can't retrain him (especially by waving a whip, plus it isn't really your place - for want of a better term - to do so) if your MIL is still reinforcing that behaviour by continuing to feed him that way, so feed him her way.


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