# How to gain respect from riding school horses as a beginner??



## yolandeloves (25 August 2018)

Hi everyone!
feel like i'm posting every second but have another question. I've been riding for about six weeks now and I'm really struggling to get the horses I'm learning on to listen to me. 
Had a lesson today and I spent most of it not learning anything but just trying to get the horse to keep trotting as it kept stopping every 5 steps. 
It's a problem I've had over several lessons with different horses and I've been told that I'm too easy on the horses so they don't listen to me and I need to be stronger.
My question is what can I do to gain their respect? I think I'm fairly firm with my commands but they often start following my command then stop and do what they want and I've spent several lessons just focusing on getting them to trot when I say trot and turn when I say turn! I feel like a lesson is too short to really build a relationship with a horse that isn't yours and I'm rarely riding the same horse. 
I would really appreciate any tips on how to be more assertive and what I can do besides constantly kicking and whipping them as I'm starting to get really frustrated and feeling like I'm not learning just fighting the same battles repeatedly.


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## Quigleyandme (26 August 2018)

It seems that your riding school is putting you on dead to the leg, switched off plods guaranteed to leave you feeling frustrated, exhausted and inadequate.  How can you learn anything and more importantly enjoy yourself if you have to invest so much energy into just keeping the horse going?  If you really are just flapping ineffectually as they imply perhaps you could ask for a lunge lesson so you only had to think about your position and hands while they control the horse.  You might consider trying another school if possible. Riding lessons are expensive and riding should be fun.


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## Shay (26 August 2018)

It can be very difficult to build the muscles you need to have an effective leg.  Not to say that Quigley is necessarily wrong - but you've been riding 6 weeks. You really don't need something that moves off your leg promptly because you'll be giving all sorts of mixed signals right now.
You need to allow yourself to build the correct muscles to ask for trot and then keep that trot.  Not just you leg muscles to be able to squeeze in each time you sit - but also your core muscles so that you don't wobble on the rise.

You might find a lunge lesson helpful to focus on getting your position right.  Most RS horses will go if you ask them correctly - but will also take every opportunity not to if you are not effective.  Talk to your instructor and explain your frustration.  You might be able to get more from a private lesson than a group one.  Depending on your standard it might be possible to do work without stirrups or standing in stirrups so you can build the correct muscles more effectively.

And give yourself a break.  You've been riding 6 weeks at 30 minutes a week?  That's a maximum 3 hours of "saddle" time.  If you are still struggling after 3 months then worry!


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## Red-1 (26 August 2018)

You are a novice and as yet you will be giving very confusing signals to the horse. With my horses if you kicked them they would wonder what on earth you were doing, they would not necessarily trot, as the signal to trot has more to do with intent and going with, with your body. At the moment you will be losing balance, and my best horse would have stopped if someone lost balance, as they would not be going with him. My not best horses may take offence with lost balance, and that could be altogether more lively!


I used to teach adult novices a lot, to ride from beginner to being able to do dressage, jump, cross country, road ride, all in 16 weeks. But, the first week or two (or sometimes three) would be mainly on the lunge. The rider would learn to control themselves while I controlled the horse. They would only ride off the lunge once they were reasonable stable and discreet at walk and trot (including without stirrups) and were safe to steer and pull up at canter. 

After this amount of time people were fit to ride 2 hrs a day, increasing, and could get some time working as a drill ride, so still never just walking round, following. 


If you want to make good progress I would ask for private lessons, starting on the lunge. These are not generally cheap, as the horse has to work a lot harder than just walking round with the occasional trot (as well as requiring a sounder horse, and 1-1 attention from the trainer). Even then it will not be successful without a talented trainer. 

If you did a couple of weeks 3 X a week private, I am sure you would see a huge difference. You may need to change training establishment to achieve that.


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## Pearlsasinger (26 August 2018)

Good advice above from Red-1 and Shay.  To help you build up your muscles and improve your balance, if there is a mechanical horse/simulator locally, you might find a few sessions on that helpful.  TB, I think you should be thankful that he RS has put you on horses that don't tip you off when you lose your balance, rather than slowing down so that you can re-group.  However I do think that the RI could explain better what is happening and the way to correct it.


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## yolandeloves (26 August 2018)

Thank you everyone for your insight! 

It's given me a lot to think about and given me a direction of what to work on. All my lessons have actually been private I haven't had any group lessons. 

But I know now what I need to work towards and it's changed my perspective a lot about what's going. Thank you everyone for all your advice it's been really helpful!


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## Keith_Beef (26 August 2018)

Definitely, as a beginner you will find it difficult to do everything at once: balance, leg placement, correct tension in the reins. I know I still find it difficult to do something new and get all the bits right. And you'll be using muscles that you might not even know you had; it will be tiring.


I didn't see in your post any mention of lesson length, but Shay mentions six weeks at 30 minutes a week... I really think that a thirty minute lesson is too short. One hour is fine. My first time properly taking lessons was a week long course with a half day of theory and a half day in the saddle, that's three hours at a time. Of course, you don't go with the full intensity of effort for all that time, but it's not beyond a reasonably fit beginner with a good instructor.

Your instructor should know the horses well enough to tell you how you how much encouragement one horse needs as compared to another. One thing I've been shown, it that if a horse doesn't respond to a leg, lightly touch the horse with the crop, just behind your leg. It's not a punishment, it just has to be enough for the horse to feel it, to remind it that it should be attentive to leg pressure.


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## Starzaan (27 August 2018)

Something I do that I find really helps when Im teaching beginners, is to get on the horse and show them walk, trot and canter. This demonstrates that when the right buttons are pushed, the horse will do exactly as its asked. 
I agree with previous posters. I wouldnt expect you to be maintaining a pace successfully all the time after just six weeks of one lesson a week. It also isnt a matter of respect - they arent being disrespectful by not doing as you would like, you are probably just not asking the right questions. 
Definitely get some lunge lessons, and get into a group too. Best way to learn is by watching others. Also worth watching some more advanced lessons if you can. 
Also, I would never put a beginner on any horse that is sharp and very off the leg - theyd be shooting off all over the place. 

Good luck and stick with it!


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## yolandeloves (28 August 2018)

Keith_Beef said:



			Definitely, as a beginner you will find it difficult to do everything at once: balance, leg placement, correct tension in the reins. I know I still find it difficult to do something new and get all the bits right. And you'll be using muscles that you might not even know you had; it will be tiring.


I didn't see in your post any mention of lesson length, but Shay mentions six weeks at 30 minutes a week... I really think that a thirty minute lesson is too short. One hour is fine. My first time properly taking lessons was a week long course with a half day of theory and a half day in the saddle, that's three hours at a time. Of course, you don't go with the full intensity of effort for all that time, but it's not beyond a reasonably fit beginner with a good instructor.

Your instructor should know the horses well enough to tell you how you how much encouragement one horse needs as compared to another. One thing I've been shown, it that if a horse doesn't respond to a leg, lightly touch the horse with the crop, just behind your leg. It's not a punishment, it just has to be enough for the horse to feel it, to remind it that it should be attentive to leg pressure.
		
Click to expand...

Thank you! I've just bought a crop but so far I'd been giving them a good solid slap with them as I thought I wasn't being firm but will work on building my leg muscles and will just tap with the crop. 

I've mainly been having 30mins or 45mins lessons but from next week will be having two lessons a week, one 45mins private and one 1hr group - I didn't think of the benefits of watching others so I hope that will help.

Thank you again for all your advice!


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## yolandeloves (28 August 2018)

Starzaan said:



			Something I do that I find really helps when I&#8217;m teaching beginners, is to get on the horse and show them walk, trot and canter. This demonstrates that when the right buttons are pushed, the horse will do exactly as it&#8217;s asked. 
I agree with previous posters. I wouldn&#8217;t expect you to be maintaining a pace successfully all the time after just six weeks of one lesson a week. It also isn&#8217;t a matter of respect - they aren&#8217;t being disrespectful by not doing as you would like, you are probably just not asking the right questions. 
Definitely get some lunge lessons, and get into a group too. Best way to learn is by watching others. Also worth watching some more advanced lessons if you can. 
Also, I would never put a beginner on any horse that is sharp and very off the leg - they&#8217;d be shooting off all over the place. 

Good luck and stick with it!
		
Click to expand...

I've gone horse mad and spend a lot of time watching youtube or shows like All star academy which I've actually learnt loads from! Thank you for your input and advice, working on implementing as much as possible!


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## Pearlsasinger (28 August 2018)

I would not expect a beginner to use a crop.  You will have enough to do with your hands, trying to keep them still enough to not jab the horse in the mouth and steer accurately without trying to hold a crop correctly. Also a crop should back up your correct aids, not be used alongside inaccurate ones.  I find that beginners pull back on the rein if they are trying to tap with a crop, so there is immediately a conflict between the aids that you are giving.  Group lessons would be good, with other beginners, so that you can see that you are not on your own when horses don't respond as you would like.  Learning to ride is like learning a new language, the person who is learning is the one who has to make the effort to get it right, not the one that is listening to the attempts, although some listeners will try to guess and respond to what they think you are trying to say.  Some horses will try to be helpful.


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## Higgle (30 August 2018)

I am not a "beginner" but I have recently started to ride again after a very long break. I joined a HOOF course for new riders and returners at my local riding school (very good). To begin with I was very pleased to be given a horse that seemed to be very happy to work exactly as I asked him to, and a bit dismayed that the two members of the group who were very new to riding were given horses that seemed totally unwilling to do anything at all. After a few sessions I joined a more advanced group and got allocated each of the two horses that were so difficult. I did get on with a determination that I would make them move for me but i didn't have to do much to have them both trotting and cantering as I wanted. I can only think that it is down to confidence and the horse sensing that you know what you are doing. I'm much more confident if I know the horse is not too forward going. Our instructor in the HOOF group pointed out that the riders were sending out mixed messages in trying to send the horse forward with their legs but holding them back with the reins.  Horses are not stupid and I expect they can work out who is a beginner simply from things like how much help they need with the girth and stirrups.


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## yolandeloves (6 September 2018)

Pearlsasinger said:



			I would not expect a beginner to use a crop.  You will have enough to do with your hands, trying to keep them still enough to not jab the horse in the mouth and steer accurately without trying to hold a crop correctly. Also a crop should back up your correct aids, not be used alongside inaccurate ones.  I find that beginners pull back on the rein if they are trying to tap with a crop, so there is immediately a conflict between the aids that you are giving.  Group lessons would be good, with other beginners, so that you can see that you are not on your own when horses don't respond as you would like.  Learning to ride is like learning a new language, the person who is learning is the one who has to make the effort to get it right, not the one that is listening to the attempts, although some listeners will try to guess and respond to what they think you are trying to say.  Some horses will try to be helpful.
		
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sorry for late reply been busy but this was really insightful for me! I'm only just realising how weak my signals are and now know what I need to work on instead of thinking I need to learn to be a horse whisperer! Really appreciate your insight thank you!


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## yolandeloves (6 September 2018)

Higgle said:



			I am not a "beginner" but I have recently started to ride again after a very long break. I joined a HOOF course for new riders and returners at my local riding school (very good). To begin with I was very pleased to be given a horse that seemed to be very happy to work exactly as I asked him to, and a bit dismayed that the two members of the group who were very new to riding were given horses that seemed totally unwilling to do anything at all. After a few sessions I joined a more advanced group and got allocated each of the two horses that were so difficult. I did get on with a determination that I would make them move for me but i didn't have to do much to have them both trotting and cantering as I wanted. I can only think that it is down to confidence and the horse sensing that you know what you are doing. I'm much more confident if I know the horse is not too forward going. Our instructor in the HOOF group pointed out that the riders were sending out mixed messages in trying to send the horse forward with their legs but holding them back with the reins.  Horses are not stupid and I expect they can work out who is a beginner simply from things like how much help they need with the girth and stirrups.
		
Click to expand...

oh my gosh that's really made me think!! thank you so much for your input! Didn't even think of it that way.


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## Safiya (14 September 2018)

I worked at a riding school and often found people thought they were asking firmly but were actually being very soft and the horses knew they could just do what they wanted, but, as everyone has said, it does come with experience. You have to learn how firmly or softly to ride each individual horse and that comes with learning the feel of each horse


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