# Sleep well beautiful boy . . .



## PolarSkye (12 February 2016)

. . . hug your horses in the morning.  Kali collapsed and died at about quarter past nine this evening.

He went before I could get there . . . he was still warm when I went into his stable to say goodbye.

My hands smell of him - I don't want to wash them.

He was my purpose.  He was my beautiful silver boy.  

Sleep well my wonderful, quirky, funny, special idiot.  There will never be another like you.

P


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## Jinx94 (12 February 2016)

I am so sorry to hear this  RIP Kali xx


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## claracanter (12 February 2016)

Oh my god, so sorry to hear this. He was so loved by you. Take care x


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## spookypony (12 February 2016)

Oh no! I'm so so sorry to read this.


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## Peregrine Falcon (12 February 2016)

Oh goodness, I am so very sorry.

Sending huge hugs.  Run free Kali.


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## Pinkvboots (12 February 2016)

so sorry what a terrible shock RIP Kali x


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## nikicb (12 February 2016)

OMG N, I can't believe this.  I am so so sorry.  Much love, he will always be with you in your memories.  Look after yourself.  xxx


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## ozpoz (13 February 2016)

Oh no, what a shock. I am so very sorry for your loss PolarSkye. Thinking of you. xx


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## JJS (13 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry to hear this. I'm mostly a forum lurker, but I loved reading about your gorgeous boy. Your love for Kali shines through in every one of your posts, so I understand how devastated you must be. No words can make it better, but please try to take comfort in knowing what a wonderful life you gave him, and what a quick and painless passing it must have been. I'm sure that very few horses get to know such unstinting devotion in their lives; your beautiful Kali was one of the lucky ones.


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## millikins (13 February 2016)

My thoughts are with you


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## Dave's Mam (13 February 2016)

Sleep well Kali & run free.  Thinking of you.


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## SatansLittleHelper (13 February 2016)

Sending a massive super sized hug...I'm so very sorry for your loss  xxxxxx


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## VikingSong (13 February 2016)

PolarSkye said:



			. . . hug your horses in the morning.  Kali collapsed and died at about quarter past nine this evening.

He went before I could get there . . . he was still warm when I went into his stable to say goodbye.

My hands smell of him - I don't want to wash them.

He was my purpose.  He was my beautiful silver boy.  

Sleep well my wonderful, quirky, funny, special idiot.  There will never be another like you.

P
		
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Oh, God, that is awful. You have my sincere sympathies. x


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## Pearlsasinger (13 February 2016)

Oh no!  Thinking of you at such a difficult time.


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## Jericho (13 February 2016)

Omg how awful. Rip Kali xx sending you a big virtual hug xx


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## WelshD (13 February 2016)

What a terrible shock for you I  so very sorry

Kali lived like a king and your devotion and commitment to him was wonderful


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## Merlin1979 (13 February 2016)

On my goodness. Just Nooooooo. I'm so, so sorry to hear this news. I'm simply devestated for you. Kali was one very special horse. Rest in peace, beautiful boy xxx


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## Jnhuk (13 February 2016)

So sorry and so hard esp when such a shock xxx

Really feel what you are going through as lost one of my grey boys out of the blue just over two weeks ago.

Big hugs xxx


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## MotherOfChickens (13 February 2016)

So sorry to see this, what a shock.


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## Slightlyconfused (13 February 2016)

Hugs  xxxxx


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## MochaDun (13 February 2016)

So sorry for your sudden and so sad loss, another one who liked reading your posts about him. He was indeed a beautiful boy and very lucky to have you.


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## touchstone (13 February 2016)

So very sorry, words never seem  enough at times like this.  Thinking of you.


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## Procrastination (13 February 2016)

So sorry for you, what an awful shock that must've been :-(


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## Doormouse (13 February 2016)

Oh PS, I'm so dreadfully sorry, we all knew how much you loved Kali and he was so very lucky to have belonged to someone like you. He wanted for nothing and lived as a king.

He will leave a huge hole, take care of yourself.


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## be positive (13 February 2016)

I am so, so sorry, he was everything to you and it came across in your many posts about him over the years, he had a wonderful life with you, look after yourself xxx


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## AdorableAlice (13 February 2016)

My thoughts are with you.


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## Rockman (13 February 2016)

Thinking of you, what an awful time.  Sending hugs


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## Sven (13 February 2016)

So sorry to read this, after your kind words to my sad post yesterday.  Life is tough but we are the better for knowing them x


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## PeeGee (13 February 2016)

So sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you. RIP Kali.


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## Clare85 (13 February 2016)

Oh, I'm so very sorry to read this. Rest peacefully Kali xx


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## Puddleduck (13 February 2016)

Sorry for your loss. 
I've read your posts but never commented before. He was a lucky boy to have you as his human. 
RIP Kali.


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## ihatework (13 February 2016)

So very sad. I know how much he meant to you. RIP Kali x x


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## Princess16 (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry but he died feeling loved and adored by you. 

RIP Lovely Kali


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## twiggy2 (13 February 2016)

My thoughts are with you


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## LadyGascoyne (13 February 2016)

Oh my goodness, PS! I'm so so sorry. Kali has always been one of my favourite HHO horses and I've loved reading your posts about him. 

I'm so very sad for you. He was a truly special horse and his character always shone through in your writing.

Sleep well, Silver Horse.


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## Amymay (13 February 2016)

Polarsky, what words of comfort can any of us give you at this terribly sad time. I am so, so sorry xxxx


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## Farcical1 (13 February 2016)

Sleep tight Kali. My thoughts are with you PS.


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## poiuytrewq (13 February 2016)

So so sorry. Such a devastating shock.


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## Flame_ (13 February 2016)

So sorry to hear this.


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## Regandal (13 February 2016)

I am very sorry. It knocks you for six when an especially beloved one leaves. X


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## Dustygirl (13 February 2016)

So so sorry. RIP beautiful boy xx


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## Bernster (13 February 2016)

Soooo gutted for you. He sounded like a v special horse and was loved and looked after. You just be in bits. So sorry x


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## Pie's mum (13 February 2016)

How terribly terribly sad. He sounded like a truely special boy. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Leo Walker (13 February 2016)

I am so very, very sorry xx


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## Nari (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry x

Sleep tight Kali x


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## hairycob (13 February 2016)

So sorry


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## Centauress (13 February 2016)

{{{HUGS}}}
Thinking of You
XXX


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## PolarSkye (13 February 2016)

Thank you everyone.  I've honestly been overwhelmed and truly touched by the support I've received and all your kindness and lovely words.  As I said to someone else this morning, I'm lost right now.

It's all a bit surreal.  I feel like I'm in a nightmare - that it's all a horrible dream - and that I'll wake up soon.  But I know I won't.  

He was amazing.  I adored the bones of him - and I think he loved me too.  He charmed many people who met him - he had a way of getting under your skin - he was needy and demanding and a total attention whore.  Yes, he was beautiful . . . I used to stand and watch him all the time, so grateful that this magical horse was actually mine . . . but it was his character and personality I will miss the most.  This morning the sun rose on a day without him in my life - and it feels wrong.  

He gave me so much . . . he made laugh pretty much every day . . . and he gave me a dodgy hip and a very unsexy limp.  But he also gave me some of the best people on this planet.  Without him, I wouldn't have met amazing people like Auslander and GG and nikicb and The Fuzzy Furry - among others - who have become my friends and are helping to prop me up right now.  Without him, I wouldn't have met Zoe and Chelsea.  Zoe was his competition jockey, Chelsea was our trainer.  He was OUR horse.  We three all loved him - and it turns out we love each other too.

it was all so quick.  He came in from the field on Tuesday lame behind, very sore, very uncomfortable and very unhappy.  I wasn't there, but Zoe was and she rang me to let me know but said she didn't think he needed an emergency vet call out. Wednesday morning he was very pathetic when I first got to the yard, but perked right up within an hour or so and was his usual cheeky, demanding, fidgety self - but I kept him in, just in case Thursday morning he was awful . . . I've never seen a horse so sick.  Vet came out, took his temperature (it was over 104) and diagnosed a virus.  Gave him a shot of Finadyne, left me with some Finadyne paste and a box of vanilla bute and said he should pick up in a couple of days.  Thursday evening he was really struggling . . . breathing was laboured, high fever, had the shakes.  I gave him his evening bute and stayed with him, holding his head in my arms, telling him what a good boy he was - he seemed to pick up a little bit, his breathing regulated and he stopped shaking so I left him - YO said she'd check on him throughout the night.  He had an awful night.  He sweated right through his rugs and YO said at one point he was completely unresponsive.  But by morning he had no fever and was more alert - but he wasn't "him" . . . he was still very weak and had begun to show signs of possible neurological damage.  I rang the vet who said there wasn't much we could do until bloods results came back from Newmarket on Monday, but to keep fingers and toes crossed that he was just weak from the fever.  I skipped him out at about four - put him to bed and came home.  At about nine, YO rang to say he was in a very bad way . . . I slung on some clothes, rang the vet and headed to yard chanting "please don't die, please don't die, please don't die."  I was halfway there when she rang to tell me he was gone.  I'm afraid I howled.  I got to the entrance of the yard and realized I couldn't cope alone so somehow rang Chelsea and Zoe who both dropped everything to come and be with us.  The three of us went to say goodbye to him together - he was still warm.  We sat with him for about an hour and a half - laughing, crying, telling stories, stroking him, kissing him.  At one point Chelsea wrapped me in one of his rugs - ironically it had belonged to her old boy Oli - Oli and Kali were best friends.  Zoe cut off his tail and I gave both of them a piece.  Zoe plaited the rest and I brought it home - along with his headcollar.  I can't look at either at the moment - they are both upstairs in the spare room.  But he's everywhere in this house.  

Chelsea has already sorted out his "removal" - she rang me about half an hour ago to let me know that he was gone.  She has also lifted his bed and folded up all his rugs.  I have just rung my daughter to tell her - we bought him for us to share - I'm hoping she will come home - she's in bits.  All sorts of people have been in touch already to let me know how sorry they are . . . it's amazing and very humbling.  But he gave me that.  He gave me so many things - and introduced me to so many people.  If it was obvious to all of them (and you) how much I loved him, I hope it was obvious to him.

Zoe and I are scheduled to have lunch next Saturday - so she, Chelsea and I will go up to the yard and collect all his things together and then go out and toast his memory.  

I'm lost.  I simply can't think of another way to put it.  My heart is cracked wide open and I'm lost.  Sleep well my darling, darling boy.

P


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## Sukistokes2 (13 February 2016)

There are no words! Rest easy beautiful boy!


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## charlie76 (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry. 
Xx


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## Auslander (13 February 2016)

PolarSkye said:



			Thank you everyone.  I've honestly been overwhelmed and truly touched by the support I've received and all your kindness and lovely words.  As I said to someone else this morning, I'm lost right now.

It's all a bit surreal.  I feel like I'm in a nightmare - that it's all a horrible dream - and that I'll wake up soon.  But I know I won't.  

He was amazing.  I adored the bones of him - and I think he loved me too.  He charmed many people who met him - he had a way of getting under your skin - he was needy and demanding and a total attention whore.  Yes, he was beautiful . . . I used to stand and watch him all the time, so grateful that this magical horse was actually mine . . . but it was his character and personality I will miss the most.  This morning the sun rose on a day without him in my life - and it feels wrong.  

He gave me so much . . . he made laugh pretty much every day . . . and he gave me a dodgy hip and a very unsexy limp.  But he also gave me some of the best people on this planet.  Without him, I wouldn't have met amazing people like Auslander and GG and nikicb and The Fuzzy Furry - among others - who have become my friends and are helping to prop me up right now.  Without him, I wouldn't have met Zoe and Chelsea.  Zoe was his competition jockey, Chelsea was our trainer.  He was OUR horse.  We three all loved him - and it turns out we love each other too.

it was all so quick.  He came in from the field on Tuesday lame behind, very sore, very uncomfortable and very unhappy.  I wasn't there, but Zoe was and she rang me to let me know but said she didn't think he needed an emergency vet call out. Wednesday morning he was very pathetic when I first got to the yard, but perked right up within an hour or so and was his usual cheeky, demanding, fidgety self - but I kept him in, just in case Thursday morning he was awful . . . I've never seen a horse so sick.  Vet came out, took his temperature (it was over 104) and diagnosed a virus.  Gave him a shot of Finadyne, left me with some Finadyne paste and a box of vanilla bute and said he should pick up in a couple of days.  Thursday evening he was really struggling . . . breathing was laboured, high fever, had the shakes.  I gave him his evening bute and stayed with him, holding his head in my arms, telling him what a good boy he was - he seemed to pick up a little bit, his breathing regulated and he stopped shaking so I left him - YO said she'd check on him throughout the night.  He had an awful night.  He sweated right through his rugs and YO said at one point he was completely unresponsive.  But by morning he had no fever and was more alert - but he wasn't "him" . . . he was still very weak and had begun to show signs of possible neurological damage.  I rang the vet who said there wasn't much we could do until bloods results came back from Newmarket on Monday, but to keep fingers and toes crossed that he was just weak from the fever.  I skipped him out at about four - put him to bed and came home.  At about nine, YO rang to say he was in a very bad way . . . I slung on some clothes, rang the vet and headed to yard chanting "please don't die, please don't die, please don't die."  I was halfway there when she rang to tell me he was gone.  I'm afraid I howled.  I got to the entrance of the yard and realized I couldn't cope alone so somehow rang Chelsea and Zoe who both dropped everything to come and be with us.  The three of us went to say goodbye to him together - he was still warm.  We sat with him for about an hour and a half - laughing, crying, telling stories, stroking him, kissing him.  At one point Chelsea wrapped me in one of his rugs - ironically it had belonged to her old boy Oli - Oli and Kali were best friends.  Zoe cut off his tail and I gave both of them a piece.  Zoe plaited the rest and I brought it home - along with his headcollar.  I can't look at either at the moment - they are both upstairs in the spare room.  But he's everywhere in this house.  

Chelsea has already sorted out his "removal" - she rang me about half an hour ago to let me know that he was gone.  She has also lifted his bed and folded up all his rugs.  I have just rung my daughter to tell her - we bought him for us to share - I'm hoping she will come home - she's in bits.  All sorts of people have been in touch already to let me know how sorry they are . . . it's amazing and very humbling.  But he gave me that.  He gave me so many things - and introduced me to so many people.  If it was obvious to all of them (and you) how much I loved him, I hope it was obvious to him.

Zoe and I are scheduled to have lunch next Saturday - so she, Chelsea and I will go up to the yard and collect all his things together and then go out and toast his memory.  

I'm lost.  I simply can't think of another way to put it.  My heart is cracked wide open and I'm lost.  Sleep well my darling, darling boy.

P
		
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This has brought tears to my eyes (again!). You, and he, are very much in my thoughts today. He was one of the special ones - and you gave him a lovely lovely life. RIP Grey Donk...


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## On the Hoof (13 February 2016)

So so sorry for you, I'm crying myself after your last post.  Big hugs and tissues to you. RIP Grey Donk.  Xxx


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## PolarSkye (13 February 2016)

I went to choir Thursday evening on what was, it turns out, the last night of his life . . . I was really struggling, very worried about him, and the first song we sang was this:

"I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

My throat closed up and the tears rolled down my face.  The lovely people at ShuffleTunes were amazing - so kind and supportive.  This is now HIS song.  We're singing it for both a charity concert (not sure when that is) and a wedding in July . . . 

. . . I'm still looking up Pops.

P


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## zigzag (13 February 2016)

So sorry xx


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## Fransurrey (13 February 2016)

Auslander said:



			This has brought tears to my eyes (again!). You, and he, are very much in my thoughts today. He was one of the special ones - and you gave him a lovely lovely life. RIP Grey Donk...
		
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Me too. I'm so sorry for your loss. I also think you have amazing friends. RIP Kali. X


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## Cinnamontoast (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry


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## Merrymoles (13 February 2016)

There are no words PS. Dreadful shocking thing to happen and I am thinking of you. Hugs


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## Arzada (13 February 2016)

I'm very sorry PolarSkye. Take care. RIP your very special boy


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## Adopter (13 February 2016)

I am very sorry to read about your devastating and sudden loss of the wonderful Kai.  Sending hugs and sympathy, and hope with the passing of time your many happy memories will bring you and all those who loved him some comfort.


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## southerncomfort (13 February 2016)

Oh this is awful.  I'm so very sorry for your loss, you must be so shocked.

Thinking of you.  xx


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## Cortez (13 February 2016)

Ah no, not Kali. I am so sorry for you; they take a piece of our hearts when they have to go...


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## lamlyn2012 (13 February 2016)

Crying with you. So sorry.xxx


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## sychnant (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry to read this. He was one of my favourite H&H horses and it was plain to see how much you adored him. Sending hugs x


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## AdorableAlice (13 February 2016)

Cortez said:



			Ah no, not Kali. I am so sorry for you; they take a piece of our hearts when they have to go...
		
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Don't they just.  There has been a lot of sadness in the last couple of weeks.  Kali, the young clyde mare, the cob lost to a strangles carrier, sven's old lad.

There by the grace of god I suppose and we certainly need to appreciate what we have.


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## Shady (13 February 2016)

OMG i am so chocked up reading this and so sorry for you, i loved your posts about your silver boy, what a terrible loss, RIP  beautiful Kali.xxxxxxxx


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## AmieeT (13 February 2016)

So sorry to read this  xxx


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## Wagtail (13 February 2016)

I couldn't believe it when I saw this thread. I am so, so sorry PolarSkye. Even on this forum Kali's character shone through. It is no wonder you feel so lost. He was a very bright flame xx


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## ElleSkywalker (13 February 2016)

Xxxxxxx


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## Circe (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry for your loss, rip Kali
Kx


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## Sheep (13 February 2016)

I am so sorry to hear this. X


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## JFTDWS (13 February 2016)

Oh PolarSkye, I'm so unbelievably sorry to read this.  Kali was an absolute legend on this forum - an institution.  His charming character, and your absolute adoration of him, was evident in all your posts and updates about your life together.  There cannot be another horse in the world who was better cared for, by someone more willing to put his welfare first.  He was incredibly lucky to find you, and you him. My thoughts are with you and your daughter x


And you would have to have a heart of stone not to shed a tear while reading your last two posts on this thread.


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## asommerville (13 February 2016)

So so sorry to hear, look after yourself x


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## EquiEquestrian556 (13 February 2016)

Oh my, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what to say. How awful. 
You gave him the most wonderful life. I'm so sorry.

Take care of yourself.

R.I.P. Kali x


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## Hexx (13 February 2016)

Such sad news.  Thinking of you.


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## TheresaW (13 February 2016)

So sorry xx


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## chillipup (13 February 2016)

So sad for you, sorry, thinking of you.


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## KautoStar1 (13 February 2016)

Sad news. You always did your best for him & that's all we can ever do.  RIP. Xx


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## D66 (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry to hear this news.


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## PorkChop (13 February 2016)

Oh no, I am so so sorry for you, devastating news xx


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## Sandstone1 (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Surreydeb (13 February 2016)

So so sorry to hear your devastating news. How lucky was he to have you and you to have him. Cherish the lovely memories xxx


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## kassieg (13 February 2016)

Omg how awful for you ! So so sorry to hear 

Huge hugs xx


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## cavalo branco (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry, very big hugs to you. He sounded very special, RIP xx


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## alainax (13 February 2016)

Crying reading this  I saw the title of the thread and didn't want to open it, thinking " no please not that pretty grey" I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to take care of your self. Don't forget to eat and sleep, have a nice bath and believe that it will get better than this.


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## MyBoyChe (13 February 2016)

Im so very sorry to hear about Kali, heartbreaking for you and his other special people  At such an awful time you have written the most beautiful words and if anyone ever had any doubt how much you loved him, there can be none now, very moving.  Im not ashamed to say I shed a tear reading this mornings post x


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## Illusion100 (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry to read about this. Thinking of you.


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## Feival (13 February 2016)

I'm sorry for your loss, RIP Lovely grey boy.


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## HeresHoping (13 February 2016)

alainax said:



			Crying reading this  I saw the title of the thread and didn't want to open it, thinking " no please not that pretty grey" I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to take care of your self. Don't forget to eat and sleep, have a nice bath and believe that it will get better than this.
		
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Me too. So sorry. Take care of yourself, N.


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## Emilieu (13 February 2016)

How shocked and devestated you must be. I am so so sorry. Look after yourself xxx


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## buffy2 (13 February 2016)

So sorry x hugs x


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## Sarah_K (13 February 2016)

alainax said:



			Crying reading this  I saw the title of the thread and didn't want to open it, thinking " no please not that pretty grey" I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to take care of your self. Don't forget to eat and sleep, have a nice bath and believe that it will get better than this.
		
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Oh my- this exactly. So sorry for your loss, what a terrible shock for you all.


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## BlackVelvet (13 February 2016)

So sorry, what a horrible shock for you. 
Sleep well beautiful boy x


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## meesha (13 February 2016)

In tears reading this, so sorry for your loss x


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## vmac66 (13 February 2016)

So very sorry.  RIP Kali.


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## The Fuzzy Furry (13 February 2016)

Mate, i saw your fb message but also want to respond here.
Kali was such a lovely chap despite his little foibles, he loved the dragging,  the sj, the trips out, but also settled remarkably well into his retirement. 
I know he's going to leave the biggest hole in your life as he was your world. 
Feel privileged to have met you both, big hugs girl xxx


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## nicelittle (13 February 2016)

How very sad and unexpected, thinking of you x


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## DirectorFury (13 February 2016)

Thinking of you x


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## skint1 (13 February 2016)

You and your boy had so many wonderful and happy times together, it was always a pleasure to read about your adventures. I am so very sorry for your loss, try and look after yourself as best you can. RIP Kali xx


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## Bustermartin (13 February 2016)

Another mostly lurker here who really loved your posts about Kali - w e could all learn a lot from them.  I'm so, so sorry - I can't imagine how devastated you must be feeling today.   Lots of hugs  xxx


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## buddylove (13 February 2016)

So sorry for your loss,  I have shed a tear for you all.  Sleep tight Kali x


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## HappyNeds (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry, just heartbreaking reading your message about what happened.  Try to look after yourself, and give yourself time to grieve. Thinking of you xxx


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## Sleipnir (13 February 2016)

I am so sorry this had to happen. He seems to have been a very special horse.  Take care of yourself!


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## Tiddlypom (13 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Kali was a very much loved and special boy.


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## Bradsmum (13 February 2016)

Oh PS I'm typing this with a tear in my eye.  Kali was one special horse who had a special owner and friends around him and was so well loved and cared for.  Sleep well lovely boy, you have left so many wonderful memories.  <<<Hugs to all who knew him>>>>.


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## Nessa4 (13 February 2016)

JJS said:



			I'm so very sorry to hear this. I'm mostly a forum lurker, but I loved reading about your gorgeous boy. Your love for Kali shines through in every one of your posts, so I understand how devastated you must be. No words can make it better, but please try to take comfort in knowing what a wonderful life you gave him, and what a quick and painless passing it must have been. I'm sure that very few horses get to know such unstinting devotion in their lives; your beautiful Kali was one of the lucky ones.
		
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Couldn't have put it better - so won't attempt.  Sending hugs ((((((((X)))))))).  Similar thing happened to me 5years ago - it does get a bit easier and as others have said you have your mmories and the knowledge that you gave him as good and loving a life as possible.


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## Midlifecrisis (13 February 2016)

So sorry Polarskye - I have no words its too heartbreaking.


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## Mickle (13 February 2016)

I haven't logged in for more than a year, just read and ran but felt I had to say how very sorry I am to hear this sad, sad news.   Take care Polarskye. x  RIP Kali. x


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## Doris68 (13 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry.  I know exactly how you're feeling as I lost my dear mare last March.  The pain does get easier, but it takes a long time.  I cried when I read your moving words.  Grieving is the price we pay for love.  RIP Kali.


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## ShadowHunter (13 February 2016)

cried reading this too. Im so very sorry. Rest in Peace Kali.


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## bonny (13 February 2016)

Really sad news, I too was moved by your love for him and I'm truely sorry that you've lost him x


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## Tobiano (13 February 2016)

Oh PolarSkye, I am so dreadfully sorry.  I can't believe your lovely boy has gone - like others I feel as if I knew him too, through your words on here which told of the truly special relationship you had.  I don't know what to say to make anything better except that he truly was lucky to be so loved.  Run free, beautiful Kali x x


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## julie111 (13 February 2016)

So very very sorry for your loss! RIP Kali xxx


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## Luci07 (13 February 2016)

So sorry to read this. I have always enjoyed reading your posts about Kali so this must have been horrendous for you xx


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## MardyMare (13 February 2016)

Another who loved your posts, so sorry to read this RIP Kali xx


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## EventingMum (13 February 2016)

Oh I'm so sad to hear this, Kali was obviously so loved and a major part of your life, my thoughts are with you x


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## StarcatcherWilliam (13 February 2016)

So sorry to read this. Losing much-loved animals really is the worst feeling.  Big hugs at this terribly sad time xxx


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## teapot (13 February 2016)

Genuinely shocked and sad to read this, one of my forum favourites. So sorry PS


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## Ladyinred (13 February 2016)

I have spent all day trying to find the 'right' words. Fact is there are none and I can only imagine your devastation. It's a high price we pay for the privilege of having these beautiful animals in our lives... the agony of them leaving is almost unbearable. You have been in my thoughts all day and will remain there for some time, look after yourself and allow yourself to grieve. RIP beautiful Kali.


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## Spottyappy (13 February 2016)

So sorry to read this.
Thinking of you.


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## {97702} (13 February 2016)

So very sorry to read this PS - take care of yourself, and rest in peace Kali xx


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## Christmas Crumpet (13 February 2016)

I couldn't believe what I was reading - I am so terribly sorry for you. I am another who loved reading your posts about Kali and we all know he was looked after like the King he was. I had such a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes to read it. My heart goes out to you.


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## Deltaflyer (13 February 2016)

I have just seen this thread and I am so sorry to read that your beautiful boy is gone.


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## Dave's Mam (13 February 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			I have spent all day trying to find the 'right' words. Fact is there are none and I can only imagine your devastation. It's a high price we pay for the privilege of having these beautiful animals in our lives... the agony of them leaving is almost unbearable. You have been in my thoughts all day and will remain there for some time, look after yourself and allow yourself to grieve. RIP beautiful Kali.
		
Click to expand...

I could not have put it better.


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## Crazydancer (13 February 2016)

PolarSkye I don't come in here very often these days but just saw something on a friends FB update and was shocked, and was just hoping against hope that it wasn't you and Kali she mentioned - so very sorry to see it was.  Mahoosive hugs to you, I can quite understand what a hole in your life and heart he will leave. Such a character. One of my HHO favorites. Goodnight Kali xxx


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## marotelle (13 February 2016)

I am so sorry,
sleep tight Kali
You sure were loved...


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## frannieuk (13 February 2016)

I'm so very sad to read this. I'm thinking of you both and feeling just a tiny bit of your heartbreak - your posts on here always conveyed a beautiful horse with a huge personality and Kali was one of my favourite forum horses. xx


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## dibbin (13 February 2016)

I'm so so sorry to read this PolarSkye, he was beautiful and you clearly adored him. Thinking of you xxx


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## View (13 February 2016)

Indeed, sleep well, beautiful boy.

So, so sorry to hear this.  Massive hugs to Team Kali, be kind to yourselves,


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## Sheep (13 February 2016)

I replied earlier but didn't say all I wanted to. When I saw thread title on my phone I had a terrible feeling it was Kali from how you type. I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine your sadness. Perhaps take comfort that few horses die on their own terms and perhaps he chose his time, despite his illness. He was so lucky to have you as his owner and like so many he was a favourite HHO horse, who will be sadly missed. Take care in the coming days. I know it's tough, I've just had a (human) bereavement but the good memories help numb some of the pain soon.


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## Starbuck (13 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. I can imagine how devastated you must feel.  Kali sounded like a wonderful character and was clearly loved by you. RIP Kali .


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## texas (13 February 2016)

What a shock, so sorry to read what happened. You couldn't have loved him more, that has always been obvious on here.


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## View (13 February 2016)

PS, just popping back.  Your posts on other threads today have been, as always, full of empathy and compassion for others.

Your lovely lad could not have asked for a better home.


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## kinnygirl1 (13 February 2016)

Really sorry PS. Kali was one of my HHO favourites. Hugs to you...take care of yourself. X


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## YasandCrystal (13 February 2016)

So sorry, hugs to you at this heartbreaking time. The numbness and devastation is unreal, horses are just incredible partners. Run free Kali xxx


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## Fools Motto (13 February 2016)

Very sorry to read this. God bless Kali.

Take care of yourself.


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## ILuvCowparsely (13 February 2016)

PolarSkye said:



			. . . hug your horses in the morning.  Kali collapsed and died at about quarter past nine this evening.

He went before I could get there . . . he was still warm when I went into his stable to say goodbye.

My hands smell of him - I don't want to wash them.

He was my purpose.  He was my beautiful silver boy.  

Sleep well my wonderful, quirky, funny, special idiot.  There will never be another like you.

P
		
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I am so sorry P - no words at a time like this  except  sleep well Kali xxxx   hugs  to you Polar


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## scoobdog (13 February 2016)

So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

RIP Kali xx


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## Dizzydancer (13 February 2016)

I'm so sorry PS, I always enjoyed your posts about him and his character shon through. 

RIP Kali sleep well x


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## TheSylv007 (13 February 2016)

Really sorry to read this, what a terrible shock.  Take care


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## racebuddy (13 February 2016)

&#55357;&#56866;&#55357;&#56866; so sorry what a awful shock and not expected xxxxxxhe was stunning and a credit it to you xx


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## Dollysox (14 February 2016)

No words, but just so, so sorry.  He was a legend on here. Love and thoughts with you xxx


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## PolarSkye (14 February 2016)

Wow!  This thread is amazing, amazing proof of what a great community HHO (and the horseworld in general) can be.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart to everyone who commented and/or took the time to PM me to offer your support.  I really have felt "held up" by your kindness and it's been both staggering and comforting to realize just how many people enjoyed reading about my darling boy - even without meeting him!

Thank you - your grateful friend - P.

xx


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## Tiddlypom (14 February 2016)

More big hugs, PS. Please take care of yourself, those of us who know that gut wrenching feeling of emptiness after losing a special horse are rooting for you.


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## Asha (14 February 2016)

So very sorry for you, can't imagine how you are feeling. Take care of yourself, RIP Kali xx


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## almostthere (15 February 2016)

Oh my goodness   . I am so so sorry to read this. I cannot even imagine how you are feeling right now but I do know this - Kali had the most amazing life with you. You ALWAYS put him first and your adoration for him shone through with every post. Run free...beautiful boy xx


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## MS123 (15 February 2016)

I'm so sorry. I've been following your posts for a long time now. I feel truly heart broken for you


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## OldNag (15 February 2016)

I am so sorry PS. Run free, Kali xx


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## Annagain (15 February 2016)

Only just spotted this (only tend to come on when I'm in work) . What an awful shock. I'm so sorry PS. Kali was clearly quite a character and your love for him shone through. Look after yourself. xxx


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## Tash88 (15 February 2016)

I've been a long-time member of this forum under a few different usernames, and always enjoyed reading about your truly special boy. I am so sorry to hear of his passing; such a dreadful shock for you, Chelsea and Zoe. It sounds like you are all supporting each other so well through this, and that Kali had a wonderful life filled with love. 

Thinking of you, please be kind to yourself. xx


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## Hetsmum (15 February 2016)

Oh PS I am so so very sorry.  No horse could have been loved more or cared for better - your love for him shone through in all your posts.  They take part of us with them when they go and leave a huge hole in your heart.  Be kind to yourself.  I never met either of you and I have tears in my eyes reading this as you where an incredible partnership - sharing a very special bond.  RIP Kali - legend of HHO xxx


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## Katastrophy (15 February 2016)

I'm so sorry, it's always awful when its unexpected, look after yourself and don't worry if the smallest things set you off again weeks and weeks later- they leave too big a hole in our hearts &#128546; Xxx


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## applecart14 (15 February 2016)

I know we do not see eye to eye on many things, but I am truly very sorry for your loss and I mean that with utmost sincerity from the bottom of my heart. 

We have all been there, and it is horrid.


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## madlady (15 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  It's obvious from your posts that he meant the absolute world to you.

Look after yourself xx


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## AandK (15 February 2016)

MS123 said:



			I'm so sorry. I've been following your posts for a long time now. I feel truly heart broken for you 

Click to expand...

This..  So shocked and saddened to read this post today.   My thoughts are with you and Kali's connections.


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## Crazy_cat_lady (15 February 2016)

So sorry to read this, you can tell your love for him in your posts about him.


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## Goldenstar (15 February 2016)

So shocked to read this there's nothing I can think of to say ,
Coping with this is the price you pay for having that special horse
Xx


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## Wundahorse (15 February 2016)

So sorry to hear of your sad and sudden loss. Hugs. Xxx


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## MrsMozart (15 February 2016)

So sorry darling. Rest in peace lad xxx


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## Fun Times (15 February 2016)

Unfortunately the more special they are, the bigger the hole they leave behind. The pain and grief you are feeling PolarSkye is testament to what a wonderful, unique and much loved horse he was. I hope that things become easier for you soon and you are able to accept what has happened - fighting against it alas will only prolong the agony. Take care of yourself.


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## BBP (15 February 2016)

Oh my gosh I'm so so sorry. I don't comment on that many posts but I read a lot and can tell just what he meant to you. Huge big hugs to you.


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## LittleGinger (15 February 2016)

I'm so sorry. I have followed your stories of Kali from a couple of usernames over the years I've been lurking on HHO, and your love for him has always been blindingly obvious. I'm so sorry to hear this. Your posts were beautifully written and utterly heart-wrenching. Take care of yourself x


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## Prince33Sp4rkle (16 February 2016)

so very sorry xxxxx


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## Joyous70 (16 February 2016)

So sorry  gutted for you


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## PolarSkye (16 February 2016)

Once again, I need to thank you all.  Your words mean so much more than you know.  He has left a gigantic hole.

I have had to "adult" for the past two days - stepson (totally unhorsey/not really an animal person) arrived on Sunday and I had an important meeting on Monday . . . both were welcome distractions and I was very lucky to have two dear friends included among the colleagues at the meeting yesterday.  I'm paying the price today though . . . the tears won't stop and I have a huge ache-y space where my heart should be.  I think the reality that my reality has changed has kicked in . . . he isn't here.  Any more.  End of.  Let me tell you, it sucks.  As with any grief, it comes in waves.  I can hold it together for a while and then it knocks me sideways and I'm on my knees.  I went into Em's room last night to get a blanket and there was his tail - all plaited up by Zoe on the night he died - I almost vomited on the spot.  OH and my lovely stepson left the house to go to Reading this morning - as soon as the front door closed I was howling - I hadn't realized how much I was holding in.  

I know this is self indulgent, but grief is a journey - and if what I'm writing here helps anyone else with their own, that's wonderful.  It's raw, and unpredictable . . . but, what's unexpected and a privilege, is that people are kind - it's amazing - even people you disagree with/haven't seen or spoken to for years . . . that has been balm to my soul.

I'll just put this out there . . . I got dumped by my fair share of boys when I was young and none of them broke my heart like losing Kali has . . . what is it about horses?

P xx


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## wren123 (16 February 2016)

Oh so sorry to hear your awful news, that must have been an awful shock.
You have a good cry, hope you feel better soon. xx


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## PolarSkye (16 February 2016)

. . . and before we get carried away by "Saint Kali" he was an awkward so-and-so . . . he was definitely a diva.  He was a total attention whore . . . absolutely got the hump if I dared to greet any horse on the yard before him.  Would call the minute he heard (but could not see) my car arriving on the yard . . . if he didn't call when he heard the car, he'd call the minute he heard my voice or my step.  He had the girliest neigh - it was more like a shriek.  He was a restless boy - dirty in his stable because he shredded the poo - the only time I found whole poos in his bed was in his final days/when he was so poorly.  He was a nightmare for fence running - and there was really no trigger - he stressed easily in the field and was like a toddler who can't calm down - the only remedy was to go in the field with him and reassure him - he never would calm down - would pace all day if you let him.  He had a wicked spin/rear combo . . . and hated hacking (very nappy - we never did completely resolve this).  

He was the most vocal horse I have ever met . . . he called or vocalized all the time.  He was also unbelievably expressive and playful . . . I couldn't leave anything within reach/couldn't hang headcollars, hoofpicks, etc. up outside his stable unless I felt like picking them all up the next morning.  Ditto rugs - those rolled around his mahoosive rug rail (only way to secure them) were fine, but anything on his door was fair game - either flung across the yard or dragged into his stable and trampled on.  I used to watch him play with them/shake them.  Anything else left lying around on the yard was a toy . . . the hose reel, feed/water buckets, were all there for him to toss, roll, empty, splash around in.  When at my trainer's yard he started playing in the automatic waterer - he'd stick his whole muzzle in and blow bubbles and slosh it all around until his whole face was wet.  In the absence of anything else to play with, he'd chuck his head around to make the clip on his leadrope jingle - he loved the sound.  His favourite means of expression, though, was his feet - particularly his front feet.  He'd paw the ground, bash things around, hook his front legs over his lead rope/over the fence, climb all over whatever was in front of him and then and turn and look at you . . . no panic, just "well, you coming to rescue me?"

He was a nightmare to tie up . . . generally fine if being treated (by vet/dentist/physio), but not always.  He used to lick one bald farrier on the head every time he was shod/trimmed (also used to nibble his back) and once tried to pick another farrier up by his shirt - managed to get his head/neck damn near vertical with Matt's shirt in his teeth - thankfully Matt's shirt was very stretchy and Matt was very patient/kind.  

I had one physio show up and be unable to treat him because he was tap dancing (a new arrival had just been led past him and he was outraged) - we turned him out in the school so he could move his feet/stare at his new paramour and he was fine after that.

More than once it took three of us to put a saddle on him at a dressage competition because he was being such a loony, he escaped from the lorry more than once (and we had to ask a four star eventer to let him run into the back of her very expensive horse to stop him once).  We were asked to leave one venue because he was so badly behaved and he was eliminated at his very first show with us because he nearly sat on the fence judge's car/refused a fence a bazillion times.  That he won any rosettes, never mind red ones was a miracle.  

He jumped a real live duck once (yes really), made a dressage judge laugh hysterically (and the photographer, steward and all of us).  He couldn't come down the centre line and half without immediately having a gawp or going "ta daaaaaaah."  He was a kernobb cross country everywhere except Tweseldown (which he loved), but he gave every single coloured pole at competition a country mile - he was so careful.  He hated the advertising hoardings at Crofton Manor (spin, rear, spin, rear), but he loved the big indoor venues.  

He loved dogs . . . he'd let them mill around his legs - there was a lurcher puppy at one yard that used to swing off his tail when he was working in the school and he was always fascinated by my Daisy (who was terrified of him) - he was desperate to touch her, and she never did let him.

He loved little people too - was always very gentle with children, bless him . . . I would have let a four-year-old lead him on a piece of cotton (not literally, but he was that gentle and polite with small ones).  

He was generally very polite . . . and was very aware of personal space/following the handler . . . a joy to lead and sort out gates/slip rails, etc. . . . he had to learn to be when he chucked me off and I broke my pelvis - had to learn to toddle around at old lady speed and not bump into me, etc.  He could forget himself and give the odd nudge, but usually when he was behind his stable door and being impatient.

Knew exactly which rugs meant what . . . if the stable rugs came off and the turnouts went on, you'd better hurry up turning him out!

Made the WORST faces when you fed him . . . if you didn't know him, you'd have sworn he was vicious - he wasn't, it was all posturing.  I could feed him and then go in his stable and change rugs and he wouldn't put a foot wrong . . . didn't do it often, liked to leave him to it once he was eating.

He was loving, affectionate, cheeky, kind, naughty, funny, arrogant, self-absorbed . . . he was difficult to manage, many yard owners despaired of his field-trashing tendencies.  But he was so charming that most of them forgave him.  He was never nasty to other horses - and he absolutely loved little ponies.  He was very playful in the field as well as on the yard.  

Can you tell I loved him? .

P


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## chillipup (16 February 2016)

Oh P, no words to make your 'journey' any better for you I'm afraid and grief, it seems will take what ever time it feels is needed. I send only my sincere and heart felt sympathy to you, along with a few of my own tears thrown in for good measure and help share your sorrow. If only it were that simple. Please be kind to yourself.


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## Merrymoles (16 February 2016)

What a lovely thing to read P, warts and all.

It does come in waves - I burst into tears during a client meeting the day after I lost my old horse (which was a shock like Kali) but roll with it - he deserves your grief.

The reason horses hit us harder than getting dumped by old boyfriends is that they were t*ts and our horses never are, even when they have their fair share of "warts".  Mine makes terrible faces at me too but is gentle with children. They reach deep into our hearts.

Hugs


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## MardyMare (16 February 2016)

PolarSkye said:



			.

Can you tell I loved him? .

P
		
Click to expand...


Yes with all your heart xx as any mother would their 'baby' (be it human or animal)  I smiled and cried through your post - mine are the same not perfect but mine none the less and I love them each for their personalities.   He sounded such a character - understandably a huge hole has been left - hugs to you while you grieve x


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## JFTDWS (16 February 2016)

I've been thinking about you since the start of this thread and I'm glad to see you posting about dear Kali with such good humour about all the sides of his personality.  You can be as self-indulgent as you like on here


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## MyBoyChe (16 February 2016)

PS, your last post makes perfect sense to us "horsey folk", its exactly why you loved him, he wasnt perfect, but he was your "not perfect".  He had character, huge amounts of it if that post is anything to go by, gawd, Im not surprised you're in bits.  And let me tell you, Ive shed more tears over dogs and horses than I have any man (except my darling Dad), there simply is no comparison!


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## Jazzy B (16 February 2016)

So sorry to hear about your loss.  Be kind to yourself.


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## nikkimariet (22 February 2016)

So sorry, hugs xox


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## asbo (22 February 2016)

Huge hugs, I feel your pain after losing my girl last week x


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## Luci07 (22 February 2016)

Your post about your memories and grief really resonated with me. We are lucky to share our lives with some special animals and the price we pay is the grief we face when they leave us. We share so much time with them, we build our days around them and they are a focal point in our lives so when they go, they leave a very very big hole behind. Platitudes don't help, but I hope someone saying "I understand, and I have walked in your shoes" will. Hugs


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## npage123 (23 February 2016)

I'm so very sorry for your loss Polarskye.  It's extremely difficult to come to terms with the loss of someone or an animal so close to us.  

Run free Kali - no boundaries, no pain, true freedom in horsey heaven.

http://hoofbeats-in-heaven.com/praise/A-L/Don't_Mourn_For_me/


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## Red-1 (23 February 2016)

Sorry to hear you lost your friend and companion. X


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## Princess16 (23 February 2016)

I'll just put this out there . . . I got dumped by my fair share of boys when I was young and none of them broke my heart like losing Kali has . . . what is it about horses?

P xx[/QUOTE said:
			
		


			It's that they love you unconditionally - nothing better than looking into those deep soulful eyes (windows to the soul) and just 'getting them' IYKWIM. 

Howl, cry, do whatever it is you have to do - it will get easier not straight away or anytime soon but it will. 

You're lucky you have your lovely memories not many have had that privilege  xx
		
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## FabioandFreddy (23 February 2016)

So very sorry to read this. RIP Kali, lovely boy - and hugs to you xxx


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