# How to be a good sharer - advice please



## PartTimeLurker (19 April 2017)

Hi - Im new to posting to the forum, but have spent a bit of time lurking around! Id love some advice on what I should do next, if anyone has any ideas or experiences they dont mind sharing with me. 

I have recently returned to the saddle after a 30 year break (Im 46). As a child/teenager I rode once a week to a competent (riding school) standard. I did everything I could, pony camps, loitering at stables, obsessing over Jill and her Ponies, but never reached the Holy Grail of owning my own pony. At the moment Im getting lessons twice a week at a local school and feel like Im progressing at an ok rate, and its fair to say Ive definitely been bitten by the bug again!

My long term goal is to realise my childhood dream and own my own, but this is a long way off. What I am thinking about doing in the interim is taking on a part share later this year. The thing is though, Im painfully aware of how little experience I have of, well, everything. Im not getting any experience of any thing apart from schooling, my riding school hands me the horse, takes the lesson, then I hand it back. Its also not really the kind of place that allows you to get involved, in fact I dont really like the way its run at all but its the best place in the area that I can find, and I think one of the instructors there is excellent so for now I feel that its worth me staying there. 

Im also quite new to the area and dont have any horsey friends to ask advice from, hence my post here!

Given that the kind of share I would be looking for is with someone responsible and experienced (I would hope to learn from them and would definitely need to depend on them at least at the beginning), I need to be able to offer something in exchange! Im a responsible, capable person with (I think) a reasonable sense of my own limitations, and feel sure that with the right horse and a little guidance I would be a decent, dependable sharer. Im keen to learn as much as I can before putting myself (and the horse) in that position, and also want to come across as well as I can in order to convince someone to allow me anywhere near their precious horses!

I was thinking of maybe doing my BHS Stage 1. Is this a good idea? I dont have any intention of making it a career but I thought I would learn lots and it also might stand me in good stead in the eyes of someone looking for a sharer? Or is there another course/qualification that is less vocational but might be better to do? Is it something you would be glad to see a prospective sharer had done or doesnt it matter? TBH Im not a very exam driven person and would prefer to learn on the hoof (pun intended), but if the feedback is that this is a valuable thing to do then its definitely something I would consider. 

My other option is to loan a rs pony, there is a place about an hours drive from me (not my current school) that offers this but its expensive and a bit further than I would prefer to drive. But at least that way I would know that the horse would be getting cared for properly without me being fully responsible for it whilst I learn. Does anyone have experience of this as a stepping stone?

I was also wondering about offering some of my time on a voluntary basis at a local livery for yard duties, but Im aware that Im way older than most, with way less experience so not sure how that would go down. Is that something that older people do?

Sorry for long post.I suppose what Im looking for is some advice on how to proceed. Im happy taking lessons for now but I think after the summer I will be eager to take the next step so want to start preparing so I can be the best sharer I can be.  I feel that my position is a bit different to what it would have been when I was a teenager, but maybe Im wrong in thinking that. Any thoughts and opinions will be gratefully received!

Thanks for reading x


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## Red-1 (19 April 2017)

Hi Part Time Lurker, and welcome to the forum.

I had a lovely sharer, so I am answering from that perspective.

My sharer was an OK rider in the arena, but had never ridden out of the arena or done so much a put a headcollar on! It did not matter as she was honest about her abilities, and learned fast.

She had great communication, she would phone and let me know how every ride had gone at first, and later it moved to a notebook in the grooming box (this was in the days before texts, facebook etc LOL). It was great to know how everything was going.

She was reliable, if she said she was visiting on a day she did. She could also ride on my work days, and that was worth a lot!

She paid the cost of the shoes, to me, the 1st of every month, so it did pay for more than shoes most months. I did not have to ask about money.

If I had a project, such as a show, she would happily come on 'not her day' to share in the adventure and help me. 

She had lessons on my horse, and I was invited to watch. Not to criticise, just to see what was going on in a non creepy way. I only went to watch a couple of times, but it was nice to be asked. 

She always remembered it was my horse, never overstepped the mark. If she was unsure about anything she would take the safe option and ask later (before mobile pones!). 

When the horse was of sick for a couple of weeks, or when she went on honeymoon, she still paid. 

She did nice little jobs, such as washing the grooming kit, cleaning tack, just nice things that made me know she appreciated the horse and opportunity. 

It really did feel like a shared adventure.


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## Dawny (19 April 2017)

I think most people who are looking for a sharer wouldn't mind showing you the ropes as long as your enthusiastic and willing to learn, which you seem to be, and any that aren't tend to be the types you wouldn't really want to share with anyway. BHS may make you seem more appealing but if it were me I would just be honest with the owner and say you need a bit of help to begin with, though it wouldn't ever be a bad thing to do. I think the most they would ever ask for in exchange for their help would be a few extra barn chores but I don't think many would

  There are a few adult helpers at my rs but mine is one more geared towards adults so I'm not sure if that's just a one off thing.

Loaning a Rs pony/horse really gets you stuck in with it and they are usually very helpful and cooperative with people who aren't entirely sure what they are doing. Both my first and second loans were from a rs and it was great, would still be there now if I lived close enough to it. From my experience though your time there can depend on what you're loaning. My first was the typical stubborn riding school pony and they were very strict on what I did with her as she was a vital part of the school and didn't want her spoilt. The second was a pretty much unused 6 year old who they were a lot more lenient on as I was practically the only one who rode him. Could go either way.
 If the RS isn't too much of a pain to get to I would definitely look into it but if not I think the best you can do is just be willing to put the work in. Good luck!


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## Karran (19 April 2017)

As above - I've had my current share for 4 years now. I have a lesson once a week - my choice not hers - I care for her on my days as if she was my own, let her know what I get up to hacking, jumping, whatever, consult with her about rugs etc, I am not the bravest nor the most experienced and I think most people are happy with that, as then they know what they are dealing with. It is the people that pretend they are more than what they are that put people off sharers!

I pay when I'm on holiday or when the horse went lame. But I think the most important thing is to be reliable. Don't mess them about, don't do chores half heartedly. Before I could drive I would sometimes do a 3 hour round trip just to muck out as I don't ride in the rain! 

Petplan do a rider's insurance which may well be worth looking at https://www.petplanequine.co.uk/insurance/insurance-rider-plan.asp just to give them a bit more assurance that you are taking it seriously?

where abouts are you? Perhaps someone here might be able to help point you in the direction of a friendly yard to give you more knowledge?


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## C1airey (19 April 2017)

Frankly, if I were looking for a sharer, the fact you are an adult and not a teenager dependent on their parents to ferry them to and fro would make me snap you up!

Be reliable and be honest about your abilities and experience.  It's all I would ask for.


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## PartTimeLurker (19 April 2017)

oh wow - thanks so much everybody for your positive replies! I don't know why but I thought that maybe an older less experienced sharer might be less of an attractive prospect.

Red-1, thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like exactly the kind of relationship I would like to have with an owner. I'm not a needy person but would definitely appreciate guidance, and would want to be feediing back regularly. Anyway, who else is there to talk with about such a great experience! I hadn't really thought about it but I guess the relationship is as much with the owner as it is the horse, which is excitng as well for me as I know so few horsey people.

Dawny, thats really good to hear positive things about RS loans. I do like the idea of the support you would get at a RS, certainly for my first share. 

Karran, rider insurance is a really good idea, I hadn't thought about that. Being marginally less bouncy than I used to be its something I think I would definitely get. Is that something most riders have these days? (Sorry, until recently my knowledge stopped growing sometime back in the mid 80s) 

I'm in the Chew Valley btw, just south of Bristol.

Thanks again everyone, I'm feeling really positive now, which is dangerous as I'm likely to go out and spend EVEN MORE money on lessons to get myself ready!


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## Karran (22 April 2017)

I don't know if its something most riders do although a lot of people on here also recommend getting BHS insurance, to me it just made a lot of sense to protect myself and horsey as being in London if we venture out hacking its mostly all roadwork and she does like to get herself into a pickle....


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## MumofWhiz (22 April 2017)

I took out BHS Gold insurance to ride my friend's horse and I'd say it's definitely worth doing.


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