# Convincing my parents!



## riding_to_the_stars (1 March 2014)

Hi, I part loan a horse and work at the yard on the weekends and I am trying to convince my parents to buy me my own horse, anyone got advice on how to convince them?! At the moment their excuse is "we don't have enough money" but I have done research and the cost ends up being only about £30-£40 more than what we pay for the loan horse. Advice please!!!  x


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## Mince Pie (1 March 2014)

How much are you paying for the part loan?


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## *hic* (1 March 2014)

I think you need to check through your figures again, that's the first point. Is that £30-40 more per week or per month? 

The second point would be have you considered how much it costs to buy a horse? It's tack? It's rugs? Boots? Grooming kit? Feedbowls, feedbins, scoops, buckets, haynets? Mucking out gear?

Third point - you probably don't know what their financial situation is. If it's risky and they give in to you and then have a setback and can't afford it are you going to be happy when they HAVE to sell the horse to make ends meet?


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## Capriole (1 March 2014)

Best advice I can give you, I'd imagine you won't want to hear   And that would be start saving up and eventually you can buy your own horse in the future. If your parents say no there's not much some randoms on an internet forum can come up with to convince them otherwise, they know their financial and time constraints better than we do. And better than you do too  

nb: That £30/40 (per week/per month?) all adds up and might be £30/40 too far for them.  Don't underestimate the true cost of horse owning, enjoy your loan, imo  

Not what you want to hear.

Debbie Downer, signing off.


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## LaMooch (1 March 2014)

jemima*askin said:



			I think you need to check through your figures again, that's the first point. Is that £30-40 more per week or per month? 

The second point would be have you considered how much it costs to buy a horse? It's tack? It's rugs? Boots? Grooming kit? Feedbowls, feedbins, scoops, buckets, haynets? Mucking out gear?

Third point - you probably don't know what their financial situation is. If it's risky and they give in to you and then have a setback and can't afford it are you going to be happy when they HAVE to sell the horse to make ends meet?
		
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I agree with this too. Couldn't put it better myself

Also OP you say you need to convince your parents but on another thread you said your mum has agreed? If you mum has agreed that's half your battle won


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## *hic* (1 March 2014)

I'd also like to say that if OP cares to read through some of the threads on this forum she might realise that she's a very lucky girl to have so much access to a pony at her age. So many people on here weren't able to have anything to do with horses in their childhood.

OP be thankful for what you have!


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## riding_to_the_stars (1 March 2014)

My mum is sort of neutral about it, she wouldn't mind as she likes horses and would ride the pony but my dad has no interest what so ever so he is the one saying no. 

I know I am very lucky it's just that my loan pony is sort of knocking my confidence at the moment because she's misbehaving a lot also I am considering moving yards anyway because most of the people at my yard are adults and I would like to ride with people my age


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## LaMooch (1 March 2014)

riding_to_the_stars said:



			My mum is sort of neutral about it, she wouldn't mind as she likes horses and would ride the pony but my dad has no interest what so ever so he is the one saying no. 

I know I am very lucky it's just that my loan pony is sort of knocking my confidence at the moment because she's misbehaving a lot also I am considering moving yards anyway because most of the people at my yard are adults and I would like to ride with people my age 

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Could you not find a new loan?


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## Capriole (1 March 2014)

The great thing about loaning is that you can end the loan and find another, if this was the pony that you had persuaded your parents to buy that was knocking your confidence it's a little bit stickier. 
It very likely that any new pony you buy might try you out to find it's boundaries, or might even turn out to be completely the wrong pony for you. What would you do then?  You could work through it with help, or you could sell the pony. You may or may not get back the money your parents paid for the pony, you may or may not be allowed to purchase another pony if the first one doesn't work out.

I'm sure you will have a pony of your own in the end, I really hope you get that. But there's no rush. If your parents don't want to buy one for you that is their prerogative :wink3:


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## LaMooch (1 March 2014)

OP I'm 27 years old and never owned my own horse but had shares and this has worked well for me.


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## riding_to_the_stars (1 March 2014)

I guess I'm just a bit jealous of my friends because most of them have ponies and ride everyday and I just wish I could have my own


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## skully (2 March 2014)

As an owner and a loaner of two different horses, I'd advise you to stick with loaning! So much cheaper and easier especially if you don't have time one day and the horse still needs feeding. Plus I assume you'll be doing exams sometime in the future? It's hard to find time to study for exams with a loan, let alone having to check on your own horse every day! Keep in mind that a lot of horses are sold with nothing but a headcollar and leadrope so you'd have to buy everything for them, plus feed and livery. It all adds up and before you know it you've bought three rugs and a new bridle in two weeks (yes that was me!). Find a new loan pony that's going to build up your confidence, go to uni and then once you have a job think about getting your own horse.


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## Patterdale (2 March 2014)

How old are you?
If your parents say they can't afford it then they more than likely can't. Why not get a job and pay the extra yourself?


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (2 March 2014)

riding_to_the_stars said:



			I guess I'm just a bit jealous of my friends because most of them have ponies and ride everyday and I just wish I could have my own 

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OP am just so feeling your pain, BUT TBH as others have said you're probably better at the mo continuing as you are by being able to have a share of a horse and THEN being able to hand it back when you need to!!!

Yes, its hard, and awful that you can't have your own pony/horse to love as your own, but....... you don't say how old you are......... and if your parents are going to be responsible for the upkeep of your pony/horse then you really have to respect that decision until such time as you can go out and earn some money to at least help with some of the upkeep.

Bear in mind that there's no "set figure" for keeping a horse. You might have, say, a pony out at grass, then it may develop something like laminitis, or sweet itch, or injury, and THEN you will need to call the vet, plus maybe have to keep it stabled for at least a proportion of time, and then you will have shoeing costs, annual vaccinations, saddle fitting & teeth checks, chiropractic, etc etc. Not to mention hay, bedding, fodder and livery fees. Believe me it all mounts up before you even realise it, so if you HAVE got a figure which you are thinnking of for say a monthly cost, you might as well double it and you'll be nearer the mark TBH!!!!

I know this will sound hard, but you may have to finish school/college or whatever, and get settled into a job........... and THEN look for your perfect horse. Yes, OK so that's tough, but if you ARE determined to have your own, you will somehow do it. 

Meantime, enjoy sharing, and take the opportunity to benefit from having experience on as many different horses as you can. I don't know what's in your area, but there may be a racing yard say, or a stud, which may offer some employment opportunities and/or riding???? as I say, I don't know how old you are, but it might be worth looking/asking around.


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## BethanT (2 March 2014)

If your current loan is not working out or how you would like it to be, then change. I had my first pony on loan and he stayed at his owners yard (livery yard) and I got to treat him as my own, all the while I had the support of his owners and I learnt so much from it all. A loan doesnt mean you only ride it so many days - that sounds more like a share or part loan. 

There are plenty of people out there looking to loan out their ponies but it will take time to find the right one. Like others have said what if it doesnt work out with the pony you buy? You then have to make a decision what to do, and it may not be one you like.


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## hnmisty (2 March 2014)

Why don't you look for a new loan pony?  I know it isn't the same as having your own, and i don't mean to be patronising, but you are already lucky that they pay for a loan for you. There are enough kids out there who would be green with envy at your situation! 

I was lucky enough that my parents paid for my ponies when I was younger (we kept at home). I then bought and kept at livery. In the 8 months I had a horse who I paid for myself, he probably saw the vet as much as my old girl did in almost 12 years. 

You may have worked it out to be £30-40 a month more (which is still a reasonable amount, almost an extra £500 a year) but with a loan I presume you haven't had full responsibility for vets bills. If your pony needed the vet then that could be a LOT more, and your parents would have no choice but to pay. Even with insurance it adds up!

By all means, have a word with them, but don't forget to factor in the fear of the unknown (ie vets bills, having lost shoes put back on, replacing trashed rugs etc).


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## Cowpony (4 March 2014)

I can sympathise with you wanting a pony  of your own.  When I was a child I had riding lessons and was desperate for my own horse.  Loaning didn't really exist then - you either owned a horse or you didn't.  My parents always refused to buy one - they weren't horsey and had no interest in becoming so.  When I was an adult I realised that they were absolutely right not to buy me a horse when they weren't interested.  Parents end up doing a lot relating to a horse owned by a child.  Even if you think you will do everything, what happens if the horse needs the vet while you are at school, or needs to come in from the field after dark, or you want to be taken to a show? And what happens when you decide you aren't interested any more, or go off to university?  I'm sure you don't think you will ever lose interest in riding, but it does happen.

Your parents also know their financial situation.  I have children of my own now and I would love to be able to buy them what they want - making their children happy is what parents like to do.  So don't think that they are saying they can't afford it just to be mean - they are probably very upset that they can't afford to give you what you want, especially if your friends have horses.  It's probably making them feel bad and compare themselves with your friends' parents, which isn't a nice place to be.  That's not to say you shouldn't ask, but if the answer is no, don't go on about it.If they could, they surely would.


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## dodgers89 (8 March 2014)

I had my first horses as loans on the owner's yard and when one sadly died I took another on loan and moved it to the yard I was at but even a loan horse was a big financial decision for me and my husband and not something we entered into lightly. Remember if you own a horse or even loan one and move it you will likely have to pay for vets, shoes, insurance, teeth etc. It maybe only £30-£40 more but what if said horse gets poorly and ends up costing a fortune? I would stick with your loan for now. Have some lessons to work on the issues perhaps?


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## Horsemadsmother (8 March 2014)

As the mother of a 7 year old who wants her own horse (and hasn't actually ridden yet) us parents don't say no for no real reason.

Its the commitment of owning a horse as well as the paying for it. If you go on holiday you have to find someone to take care of it, if it gets ill its paying for it etc etc

I can understand your frustration as i was desperate for a horse when i was younger but theres so much more to consider than just the week to week costs .


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## Arizahn (8 March 2014)

Focus on what you already have, see if you can figure out why your loan pony is acting up. Does she need her teeth or back checked? Is she in season? Does her tack fit properly? Is she getting enough turnout? What sort of feed does she have and does it suit her workload? Is she getting enough hay/haylage? 

Also, consider if your riding is up to par - ask your instructor if you should do anything differently. You can never have enough lessons! If you really want to own your own horse, then start saving up for one that will suit you once you can afford to support yourself and a horse properly. This also means that you can save for the perfect "dream" horse. In the meantime, there are lots of loans and shares out there that you can learn so much from.

I would guess that your parents have very sensible reasons for saying no at this time. And yes, not wanting the added pressure of owning is a valid reason. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I didn't own my own horse until I was past thirty! In fact, along the way I had a ten year break from horses - got married, went to university as a mature student, changed career a few times, etc. 

There is always plenty more time left in the hourglass, slow down and enjoy the present.


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## kassieg (8 March 2014)

Cowpony said:



			I can sympathise with you wanting a pony  of your own.  When I was a child I had riding lessons and was desperate for my own horse.  Loaning didn't really exist then - you either owned a horse or you didn't.  My parents always refused to buy one - they weren't horsey and had no interest in becoming so.  When I was an adult I realised that they were absolutely right not to buy me a horse when they weren't interested.  Parents end up doing a lot relating to a horse owned by a child.  Even if you think you will do everything, what happens if the horse needs the vet while you are at school, or needs to come in from the field after dark, or you want to be taken to a show? And what happens when you decide you aren't interested any more, or go off to university?  I'm sure you don't think you will ever lose interest in riding, but it does happen.

Your parents also know their financial situation.  I have children of my own now and I would love to be able to buy them what they want - making their children happy is what parents like to do.  So don't think that they are saying they can't afford it just to be mean - they are probably very upset that they can't afford to give you what you want, especially if your friends have horses.  It's probably making them feel bad and compare themselves with your friends' parents, which isn't a nice place to be.  That's not to say you shouldn't ask, but if the answer is no, don't go on about it.If they could, they surely would.
		
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Can I just say what a lovely post this is & so true! 

My parents sacrificed a lot for me to have a pony & then a horse I paid for my 1st pony from my baby savings it... I had loaned a 12.2 before him then got him on loan at 10 & bought him aged 11 

I was incredibly lucky & I will always be grateful to my parents 
I have now owned & paid for my own for 3 years I am now 21 ... I get paid a decent wage & after competing & paying general costs for horse don't have a huge amount of cash left over each month but its my sacrifice now not theirs.


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## splashgirl45 (8 March 2014)

you are very lucky that your parents are funding your share pony and you sound as though you are expecting to buy a perfect pony as the share is not behaving......finding the right pony that suits your ability will not be easy or cheap......why not invest in some extra lessons on the share pony and see if you can sort out the problems..you may find you are much happier once this is done....as i said you are very lucky, my parents could just about afford 1 lesson a week for me and i had to save up to buy my own and was 21!!!!!!!!!  before i owned a horse....if you are really serious about owning a pony, get a part time job and save as much as you can and your parents may then help..good luck


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## LaMooch (8 March 2014)

splashgirl45 said:



			you are very lucky that your parents are funding your share pony and you sound as though you are expecting to buy a perfect pony as the share is not behaving......finding the right pony that suits your ability will not be easy or cheap......why not invest in some extra lessons on the share pony and see if you can sort out the problems..you may find you are much happier once this is done....as i said you are very lucky, my parents could just about afford 1 lesson a week for me and i had to save up to buy my own and was 21!!!!!!!!!  before i owned a horse....if you are really serious about owning a pony, get a part time job and save as much as you can and your parents may then help..good luck
		
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Fully agree with this


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## Fides (8 March 2014)

Tbh you sound a little over indulged... Be satisfied with what you have. 'Only' 40-60 pounds?? Do you know how many hours work that is?! Maybe they might agree if you work to raise the extra?


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