# Feeling anxious and uneasy......is it me or is this all a bit odd?



## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

My horse went on a 2 week trial 2 weeks ago today. They are nice, experienced people who are fairly well known locally and could provide him with the perfect hacking home. This was the only reason I agreed to a trial. 

Had no doubts whatsoever that he would be fine as I know my lovely boy, I know how lovely and genuine he is both on the ground and ridden. Didnt want to seem over-bearing/pestering so didnt want to text them too much these last couple of weeks but I have texted a few times asking how he is and how they are getting on, they replied fine, he is absolutely fab Fine, seems like he has been here years, had lovely hacks on him They texted me last weekend saying Just had a lovely hack on him &#61514; when are his jabs due I was so pleased and said so and told them when his vacs were due. Didnt hear anything all last week but on Sat dropped a quick text to say do they have any thoughts now, nearly 2 weeks on on whether they want him. If so, could I drop his passport and rest of his stuff (and get money) for him over the weekend at some point as Mon I would be back to work after 10 days off and so driving over (an hours drive away) Mon evening after work may be a problem if I have to stay at the office late. I got a text back saying will speak to mum and let you know 

That was it. It is now Mon, the 2 week trial period is now over and tbh I want an answer. I would have rung them but have been in and out of meetings all day and manic. I texted them an hour ago saying Hello, what is happening then please? and got a text back Who is this? WTF? I texted back saying who it was and have nothing back?

Im not being funny but not once in the 2 weeks have any issues/problems been reported to me. Whenever weve spoken its been nothing but positives and praise. One of my instructors competed where he is kept last week and said she went and saw him and he seemed well looked after and happy. 

Why am I not being contacted or given a straight answer? Yes they could just be busy but if I had someones horse on trial for 2 weeks and today was D-Day it would be the first thing on my mind.

I hate trials and would never normally have agreed to one but like I said, they are perfect home for him if they decide to take him. I just really hope I dont regret agreeing to something that I didnt really want to agree to in the first place.


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## ROMANY 1959 (3 June 2013)

I would call them and say two weeks are now up and you would like payment and you will fetch other stuff and p port over , if they pay up get cash or direct bank transfer. Not a cheque. I would not give them any more time just say its today and you will be over soon. I do hope they don't turn out to be freeloaders just wanting a horse for half term!!!


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## Hoofprints in the Snow (3 June 2013)

I think you need to pester them a bit. If you don't get an answer then I'd go and get him back. Sounds as if they are mucking you about a bit. I doesn't matter if they are busy, so are you, and a deal is a deal if the agreed two weeks are up.


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## Amymay (3 June 2013)

Give them a buzz tonight - and discuss it with them.


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## Fanatical (3 June 2013)

To be honest, I would be driving straight over there this afternoon with your trailer/ lorry. They either make the payment for him today or you bring him home.

I'd be more than uneasy about the situation.


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## Mithras (3 June 2013)

Phone them up and speak to them.  If they pfaff around with payment, go and get him back, and say if they want him, they can pay for him.

I've been slightly suspicious of local family farm PC type homes (not sure if this is one) since advertising a brilliant horse for sale and being inundated with that type wanting a free loan.


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## quirky (3 June 2013)

Did they not pay in full before the trial?
I know that's what I have done when buying my last two horses.

I would be ringing them, none of this texting malarkey!


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## shannonandtay (3 June 2013)

I think what would worry me is the fact that when you have text them today they asked who you were and when you have explained, they haven't come back to you.  I don't want to worry you, but that doesn't sound right to me.  Call them as soon as you can.  Let us know how you get on.


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## noodle_ (3 June 2013)

they pay up today or you collect horse.............simple.



then never do a trial again!...


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## Leg_end (3 June 2013)

Fanatical said:



			To be honest, I would be driving straight over there this afternoon with your trailer/ lorry.

I'd be more than uneasy about the situation.
		
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quirky said:



			Did they not pay in full before the trial?
I know that's what I have done when buying my last two horses.

I would be ringing them, none of this texting malarkey!
		
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100% agree with the above posters. Alarm bells would be ringing very loudly right now. I'd call them, leave a message asking to call you urgently and I'd be at the yard waiting for them. Then I'd call saying I was there with the lorry and they could come up and pay or you'd be taking the horse back there and then.

Unacceptable behaviour IMO.


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## ShadowFlame (3 June 2013)

Fanatical said:



			To be honest, I would be driving straight over there this afternoon with your trailer/ lorry. They either make the payment for him today or you bring him home.

I'd be more than uneasy about the situation.
		
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Ditto. If the money's not there, horse on the box and gone.


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## Beausmate (3 June 2013)

Have you got another number or email address for them?  The fact that you got a 'who is this?' reply and no further response makes me wonder if their phone has been stolen or something.  A long shot maybe, but these things do happen and if they only have your number stored on the phone then they're a bit stuck. 

Although they could probably look it up from the original ad?  

Sounds odd anyway and I'd be a bit concerned not hearing anything.


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## deicinmerlyn (3 June 2013)

Fanatical said:



			To be honest, I would be driving straight over there this afternoon with your trailer/ lorry. They either make the payment for him today or you bring him home.

I'd be more than uneasy about the situation.
		
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Echo this^^


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## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

Well- just phoned.

Daughter answered and said she was just about to text me back. Said that my horse is really being bought for her mum now (which I kind of knew, they said he would be ridden by daughter and mum) rather than a share and so it will be her mum that would need to speak to me. She said her mum is currently at an auction so could she ring me either tonight when she gets back or tomorrow morning. I said I was obviously a bit concerned but she assured me everything is fine and that he is fab and both her and the mum have been riding him- no issues and that he was as happy as larry. Im at work and had loads of people listening in, plus I dont want to get too snotty so just said okay I would speak to the mum either tonight or tomorrow morning but it WOULD have to be then as I obviously need to know whats going on and get everything sorted.

She said fine.

I still feel a bit on edge as obviously money and passports still havent been exchanged but do feel better now Ive spoken to her. Will just have to hope everything works out. I will be very cross if not Im not going to lie as I have obviously had numerous confirmation from them that he is fab and everything is fine so really, they have NO reason whatsoever to not buy him.


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## horsesatemymoney (3 June 2013)

I share that uneasy feeling- I'd be straight on the phone tonight, wanting to know where I stand. I assume the Mum isn't buying a horse at the auction?! As she still has yours to pay for! Think you're going to have to mither them OP. Hope it works out ok!


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## Fanatical (3 June 2013)

I am afraid, having the suspicious nature that I have, I would still be driving over there and bringing him home. If they want him, they can come and collect him when the money has been paid.

I'm sure it is unrelated but the fact that the mum is 'at an auction' would also ring alarm bells! Hopefully not selling your horse! Again, prob just my suspicious nature!


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## deicinmerlyn (3 June 2013)

Fanatical said:



			I am afraid, having the suspicious nature that I have, I would still be driving over there and bringing him home. If they want him, they can come and collect him when the money has been paid.

I'm sure it is unrelated but the fact that the mum is 'at an auction' would also ring alarm bells! Hopefully not selling your horse! Again, prob just my suspicious nature!
		
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Again agree!! ^^


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## tessybear (3 June 2013)

Having known a horse to be sold on during a trial  I know you know these people, however being suspicious i would be over there with my box and loading said horse back onto it. Ring them first explaining if the sale is going ahead and you need a straight answer. 

The whole text saying who is this ? worries my slightyl hence why if it was mine i would be over there by now. Could just be an issue with the phone but doesn;t sound right to me


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## Firewell (3 June 2013)

I would call again tonight to speak to the mum.
The problem is they have no incentive to call you. They have the horse AND the money so sadly they don't have that push to get the loose ends tied up.
Therefore you have to chase them and give them the incentive. For instance say you must have the money by the weekend or you will collect him on Saturday. 
They just need a nudge, but from what you have said they sound genuine ebough


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## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

Well- in fairness I didnt have her no saved in my phone until last night so whenever she contacted me I never knew who she was  I even rang her last weekend by mistake, or should I say my friend did, I was driving, we thought she was someone else lol. So it could just be that she didnt bother to save mine either.

Re the auction, tbh it never crossed my mind it could be a horse auction. I assumed an antique/house auction or something. TBH I dont give two hoots what type of auction, I just want my money and to know what is going on


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## Booboos (3 June 2013)

Get some money out of them asap. This does not sound like decent behaviour.


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## Goldenstar (3 June 2013)

I would feel anxious too , I would ring tonight and first thing to morrow morning and if you are not completely happy I would pick him up tomorrow night.


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## starryeyed (3 June 2013)

Fanatical said:



			I am afraid, having the suspicious nature that I have, I would still be driving over there and bringing him home. If they want him, they can come and collect him when the money has been paid.

I'm sure it is unrelated but the fact that the mum is 'at an auction' would also ring alarm bells! Hopefully not selling your horse! Again, prob just my suspicious nature!
		
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My thoughts too - however I am also very suspicious! I'd definitely be going down there with the horsebox, even just to meet them & discuss what's going on, so they know that you're serious and mean business. If you feel at all uneasy when you're there or think they aren't being honest with you, you can take him back with you - there is absolutely nothing wrong in doing this. They sound like they're taking the p*** and there was something very odd about that text - did you manage to question it on the phone? Yes they may be busy - but aren't we all! x


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## Goldenstar (3 June 2013)

the issue with Fanaticals approach is that , if I remember the posts running up to this trial ,this horse needs to be sold and has some management needs that means that these people have an ideal situation for him PP then needs to be careful that she does not lose the sale unnecessarily if this is just a thoughtless and disorganised buyer.
If I would be pissed of as a buyer if OP just turned up and took him that would be the end of that for me , though I fully aggree that she should have rung PP today .
PP What arrangements where made for payment at the beginning of the trail
I definatly would be picking him up tomorrow though if the morning does not sort it out .


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## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

Goldenstar said:



			the issue with Fanaticals approach is that , if I remember the posts running up to this trial ,this horse needs to be sold and has some management needs that means that these people have an ideal situation for him PP then needs to be careful that she does not lose the sale unnecessarily if this is just a thoughtless and disorganised buyer.
If I would be pissed of as a buyer if OP just turned up and took him that would be the end of that for me , though I fully aggree that she should have rung PP today .
PP What arrangements where made for payment at the beginning of the trail
I definatly would be picking him up tomorrow though if the morning does not sort it out .
		
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Yes. Nail.on.head.

Basically, they really would be the perfect home for him if they bought him. They are experienced, knowledgeable, good riders and know all about his arthritis and dont seem too concerned by it. They also know that he is not great with large vehicles on narrow roads and they dont need to worry about this as they hack him around their private estate and about 20 miles of forestry commission tracks. So, in short, they are perfect and he is also perfect for them as he is safe, reliable and fun. 

I think they know all of the above and so know they have me over a barrel slightly. So yes, I dont want to go in all guns blazing and risk him a good home if it is just them being a bit thoughtless and disorganised.

I drew up a trial agreement that both of us signed on the evening I dropped him off. In it it stated that on the 3rd June 2013 XXXX would give XXXX (me) £££ for the horse.

Unfortunately no deposit was paid as I did ont ask for one. 

Going and getting him would be difficult as I am without transport at the moment and so would have to hire or pay a friend to go and get him which is more expense incurred by me. HOWEVER, on the agreement it did state that if they didnt want the horse, he is to be returned at THEIR expense.


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## Amymay (3 June 2013)

Give her a buzz tonight PP and see what they say.  If they don't want the horse, you can arrange collection for later this week.


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## mandwhy (3 June 2013)

I should think it will be resolved when you actually get to speak to the mother.

How old is the daughter? I wouldn't bother dealing with her unless you can't get hold of the mother, as it seems daughter is not the one with the cash.

I wouldn't panic too much although I am not as suspicious as some people I suppose, I expect they are just dragging their heels and being disorganised, they probably think they can because they are the ideal home for him. Don't do anything rash, just speak to the mother asap!


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## slumdog (3 June 2013)

It's people like this who ruin it for genuine buyers  

I had my project pony on trial for two weeks, with her being a project I didn't want her to suddenly turn out to be psychotic instead of 'quirky' 
I initiated text messages to let her owners know how she was, I also messaged her and added photos on Facebook so she could see her. Then on the 14th day I text her in the morning saying I'd love her and can I take her the money. As it turned out she was busy until the Saturday but wasn't bothered as I'd kept her so involved. 

I hope you get it sorted op.


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## Goldenstar (3 June 2013)

PP move heaven and earth to speak to the mum , then as you don't have transport I think if I where you I would drive to see him to morrow, while I would not be unnecessarily antagonising the buyers I would not be letting. This run on either good luck I really hope this works out .


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## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

To be fair, I am not at all worried about them doing a runner with him or anything silly like that. I am just worried that they are going to turn around and either say Well, well have him but not paying the price for him He is going for an extremely nominal sum so I would actually laugh if this was the case!!! Or No, sorry, am concerned about X,Y & Z and am not taking him If thats the case then I will be absolutely furious as not once over the 2 weeks has there been any hint of problems and also, if thats the case then they would have known that at the weekend, or today, or last week so to just not tell me would be really out of order.

I am really hoping that it is none of the above and that they are simply just a bit busy/disorganised as they did/do seem like lovely people and I would be absolutely gutted if this has all been for nothing. My poor boy, uprooted (again) for nothing


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## Juni141 (3 June 2013)

I completely understand where you are coming from OP but if it were me I wouldn't be pulling my hair out just yet (I am definitely the least suspicious person out of everyone so far I think!).

As with so many of these things it is most likely a very simple explanation- mother is a scatterbrain/can't work a mobile/no idea what day of the week it is etc... I would give them a call this evening and have a conversation with them.

Remember there are always other people's perspectives involved in these things- they are probably head over heels with your horse, consider him part of the family already and just haven't been very organised. Also money is a very funny thing; what is a fortune to one person may be pocket change to another. I 've known horse sales in the past where the money exchanging hands was big sums for one person but very little to the other and that will always have an effect on people's urgency etc... When people don't need the money they often forget others do!

Fingers crossed it is just crossed wires and it works itself out. After all it sounds like a fab home for your boy!


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## Kat (3 June 2013)

Also remember there can be complications with actually getting the cash.  Getting money in the right account,  getting cash out etc etc. 

I would suggest that they bacs it to you today as they are happy and see what happens.  I wouldn't turn up with the box.


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## lula (3 June 2013)

i'd ring tonight and make a concerted effort to speak to mother or you'll probably give yourself a restless night worrying about it all.

id also like to know how old daughter is- over 18 i assume?.

You're probably worrying over nothing and they are just being a bit lax about the whole thing - but as another poster has pointed out, they can afford to be, they have your horse and your money! Although unfortunately, ive never surprised by how rude and devious some people can turn out to be.

You're not worried about the horse's immediate welfare or being sold from under you you say, so try to relax. The worst that can happen you think is they dont want him and although annoying as that will be, its not the end of the world. Perhaps call daughter back and say you will be ringing Mum tonight and what time is best please?..or just leave it and give her a ring 8pm ish

Goodluck.


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## pippixox (3 June 2013)

to try and put a positive spin on it: perhaps the reason they don't seem to have got round to specific confirmation today is because they are so happy with him they feel like they have him already, so date wasn't important as not returning him? (if u didn't like a horse after 2 weeks your not going to hang onto him)
or on a slight negative, they might be unsure and not sue how to break it to you that they don't want him, as nothing major has gone wrong
also some people are just really disorganised!
all the best


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## Mahoganybay (3 June 2013)

Try not to worry, they just sound like they are more 'relaxed' about the sale than you, i am sure if there had been problems, they would have said before now. 

If the mother has not rang you back by lunch time tomorrow then if it was me i would just start to pester,i would keep ringing until i got through to her and arrange payment either via bank transfer or cash in my hand.

Hope it all works out for your boy.


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## honetpot (3 June 2013)

I had a pony out on two weeks trial on the understanding that if they wanted it after two weeks they would pay me as he was a bargain price as I hadn't had to advertise. Two days before the 14 days was up they said they were worried about something, but hadn't booked a vet for a vetting because they couldn't get their vet could they have longer. I was seriously p***d off and said I wanted him home ASAP. Sold him 4 weeks later for a £1000 more.
  Be friendly but firm, you want your money, its been half term they have had plenty of time to try him, no cash you want him back as soon as possible, no excuses. At the moment its the best time to sell a horse, there will be another buyer. If he was rubbish it would have been back by now.


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## rachi20x (3 June 2013)

Been following this thread, hope it all works out. I echo everyone else. Hopefully they are just scatty.


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## stormox (3 June 2013)

I think maybe they havent got the money to pay, and are keeping you hanging on........... and two weeks further on you still wont have the money from them.....


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## Perfect_Pirouette (3 June 2013)

Well- still not heard anything!!! 

Will have to wait and see what tomorrow brings but if it is silence I will have to start chasing!!!


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## smellsofhorse (3 June 2013)

You should have set a deadline, or a day and time to call and make the agreement.

I think you need to call them or text then with a time tyo are going to call them.

You need a straight answer or you get your horse back, otherwise they are getting a horse for free but if anything goes wrong they will soon be in touch asking you to pay a vets bill!


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## Honey08 (3 June 2013)

When should it actually have finished, the trial?  Yesterday or today?  Did you ask the girl to get her mum to call you?  They are being a bit rude really.  A quick text to say "sorry I haven't got back to you, having a hectic day.." would have been polite, even I would have managed that, and I can be a bit flaky!  Hope they are in touch tomorrow.


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## horsesatemymoney (3 June 2013)

PP - what honetpot said. There will b another buyer, don't let them hold you over a barrel as they  think you're desperate to sell.


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## HBM1 (3 June 2013)

If I didn't hear anything by tomorrow lunchtime I would be going and getting him.  I know you don't want to lose a sale, but what if there is a problem and you leave it too late?  You can still be polite and pleasant about it, but just say until the sale is sorted you would rather he was home with you.


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## smellsofhorse (3 June 2013)

Did you know call them this evening?

Even a missed call from you should stir them into action.

As late as it is i would be tempted to send a text and say 
sorry we couldnt catch up today but we should speak in the morning.
Shall i call you or will you call me, what is the best time?


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## Dumbo (4 June 2013)

Hope you manage to speak with the lady this morning. You've had good advice - I second going over there today late afternoon if you still haven't had contact and give them a deadline


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Well- still nothing.

If I dont hear by lunchtime I am going to have to chase which I am dreading as I am the most un-assertive person ever and quite frankly it is ridiculous anyway!


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## nix123 (4 June 2013)

Have you heard anything yet?? Sounds like she's either very cunning or very rude.  If she starts haggling over money i would say as she's given nothing but good praise about the horse whilst he's been with her, and as she's gone over the 2 week trial period you will be wanting the full asking price. I hope it all turns out well, will keep fingers crossed for you.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Well- still nothing.

If I dont hear by lunchtime I am going to have to chase which I am dreading as I am the most un-assertive person ever and quite frankly it is ridiculous anyway!
		
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Yes you must chase at lunchtime .
Make a note of what you need to say before the call to keep you on track if you are nervous.


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Well- still nothing.

If I dont hear by lunchtime I am going to have to chase which I am dreading as I am the most un-assertive person ever and quite frankly it is ridiculous anyway!
		
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Yes, give it until midday.  And then if you haven't heard anything organise transport to go and collect the horse this evening or tomorrow.

It doesn't have to be confrontational.  Just ask them if they're having the horse, and if they say no - say no probs I'll pick him up later.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

amymay said:



			Yes, give it until midday.  And then if you haven't heard anything organise transport to go and collect the horse this evening or tomorrow.

It doesn't have to be confrontational.  Just ask them if they're having the horse, and if they say no - say no probs I'll pick him up later.
		
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Yes- but it will be at their bloody expense. I paid half of the cost for a transport company to bring him over there, which everyone said I was a mug for doing. I am not paying full whack to bring him back if they don't want him. I know he's my horse and if worst comes to the worst I'll have to but it will be totally unfair and in the agreement that they signed it states that if they dont want him he is to be transported back at their expense. 

I just really don't understand why they can't just drop me a quick text/VM stating whether or not they want my horse and what's going on.


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## Fanatical (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Yes- but it will be at their bloody expense. I paid half of the cost for a transport company to bring him over there, which everyone said I was a mug for doing. I am not paying full whack to bring him back if they don't want him. I know he's my horse and if worst comes to the worst I'll have to but it will be totally unfair and in the agreement that they signed it states that if they dont want him he is to be transported back at their expense. 

I just really don't understand why they can't just drop me a quick text/VM stating whether or not they want my horse and what's going on.
		
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Have you tried ringing them this morning? I don't think I'd have the same control as you are demonstrating. Not that I would be rude or anything. I also hate confrontation and would absolutely remain as polite as possible but i would want to know what on earth is going on and ASAP. Apart from the money situation, I would be really concerned about the horse itself by this point.
But maybe that is just me. 
Whatever their reasons, genuine or not, they are completely out of order.


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## Dot2dot (4 June 2013)

keen to hear the updates.


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## Kazza1 (4 June 2013)

Have you got anyone more 'scary' than you, you can ask to deal with them for you?
Ive been in a similar situation where the people that had one of mine on trial decided not to buy but wouldn't pay to have the horse returned to me (despite it being stated in the contract) ...im also not very confrontational....but my boss grabbed the phone off me and within 2 minutes of talking to her they had agreed...got him back the next day! Shes a force to be reckoned with


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## Sarah Sum1 (4 June 2013)

I would ring them now.  This should be on your terms, not theirs.  Don't mistake being assertive with being agressive or rude, they are not the same.  You can be polite, yet assertive.  Don't apologise either. Just say what you need to say, write down key points that you want to get across.

This is your horse, they have had the two weeks trial, you need to take control and get this back on your terms.

Good luck 

ETA If you want me to ring, I will be more than happy to.  I'll probably even get them to pay more for your horse


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

Just read the whole thread and now _I'm_ anxious and eager to know the outcome.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

No- no one more fierce here, Im at work &#61516; though one of my (very assertive) colleagues would probably ring for me if I wanted but Im 26, I need to start sorting things out myself in life.

There COULD be a perfectly innocent explanation but I am feeling angry and resentful at being put in the position where I have to ring and chase and be assertive I shouldnt have to.

I really think they are going to try and bargain me down at an already nominal sum. 

Blah, just been having a bad couple of weeks really tbh. I seem to constantly have people taking the P or advantage because of my good nature and possibly at times lack of assertiveness. I am seriously considering going on some type of course. Fed up of trying to be nice to get it thrown back in my face. I even gave them two bags of feed to see him through the 2 weeks he was there as well as paying half to transport him over. Let alone agreeing to the trial in the first place against my better judgement.

I really want them to be genuine and have him as he deserves a lovely, loving home &#61516;


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Well, it's lunchtime now.  Pick up the phone and report back.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Just phone now and say the following

"Hi ........... I'm calling because the trial period with xxxxxx ended yesterday. I know you have been really happy with him so we need to nake arrangements for you to pay and for me to give you a receipt. I thought it might be easiest for you to pay by BACS as we are both busy, shall I text you the details or would you prefer to give me cash?"

Don't go getting scary with them or turning up with the trailer until you have tried this approach.  If they don't answer read the above on their voice mail and keep calling hourly until they pick up or text you. 

Only get heavy if you are worried and have got to the stage where you are willing to lose the sale.  

I had my horse on trial and at the time the trial ended I was in a  difficult position with changing jobs so logistics of making arrangements to meet or even make calls were difficult but I intended to go through with the purchase and would have been pretty cross if the seller had turned up to take the horse away just because I hadn't been available by phone one evening.


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## horsesatemymoney (4 June 2013)

PP you're definitely not being unreasonable, so that should give you some confidence. Tell them you need to know if they're buying him, they signed a contract and that date has passed so you'll assume if the money isn't in your hands later that you'll pick him up. Call their bluff, I think they know you're keen to sell to them and so are just holding back, or waiting to barter.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Just read your last update. No need to be aggressive but you do need to make the call NOW. 

Write a script. If they try to change ghe deal just tell them "that isn't what we agreed" and "you promised to pay £ xx at the end of the trial"


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## Bigginge (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			No- no one more fierce here, Im at work &#61516; though one of my (very assertive) colleagues would probably ring for me if I wanted but Im 26, I need to start sorting things out myself in life.

There COULD be a perfectly innocent explanation but I am feeling angry and resentful at being put in the position where I have to ring and chase and be assertive I shouldnt have to.

I really think they are going to try and bargain me down at an already nominal sum. 

Blah, just been having a bad couple of weeks really tbh. I seem to constantly have people taking the P or advantage because of my good nature and possibly at times lack of assertiveness. I am seriously considering going on some type of course. Fed up of trying to be nice to get it thrown back in my face. I even gave them two bags of feed to see him through the 2 weeks he was there as well as paying half to transport him over. Let alone agreeing to the trial in the first place against my better judgement.

I really want them to be genuine and have him as he deserves a lovely, loving home &#61516;
		
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PP - you are getting yourself wound up now and deciding that they are messing you about or trying to push the price down when you don't know at all if this is the case. One bridge at a time. Pick up the phone and sort it out, it doesn't need to be a big confrontation, just go and ring them.


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## Hackie (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			in the agreement that they signed it states that if they dont want him he is to be transported back at their expense. 

I just really don't understand why they can't just drop me a quick text/VM stating whether or not they want my horse and what's going on.
		
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I'd be inclined to text them that if you don't hear back by 2pm, that you will be assuming that they don't want him and will be arranging transport asap at their expense, as per your agreement.

This would be giving me the irrits well and truly, because you are right, it would take no effort for them to give you an answer.  Maybe its a negotiation tactic, but I'd be getting my horse back asap.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

PP stop working yourself into a stew and just call them .


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Don't give them the option to back out. Don't threaten to collect as that means you are giving them the option to vack out, in fact you are inviting them to reconsider or renegotiate and you want this sale finalised. 

Ring now.  Tell them that the trial is over. They are happy with the horse so they need to pay up. Don't give them chance to do anything else. 

Don't convince yourself there will be problems before they arise. Tell them they need to pay now and see what they say. 

If they try to change the deal tell yhem you will call back after speaking to oh/parents to give yourself time to tjink so you don't get bullied into anything or agree to something you will regret. 

But ring now and stop torturing yourself


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## BigYellowHorse (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Blah, just been having a bad couple of weeks really tbh. I seem to constantly have people taking the P or advantage because of my good nature and possibly at times lack of assertiveness. I am seriously considering going on some type of course. Fed up of trying to be nice to get it thrown back in my face. I even gave them two bags of feed to see him through the 2 weeks he was there as well as paying half to transport him over. Let alone agreeing to the trial in the first place against my better judgement.

I really want them to be genuine and have him as he deserves a lovely, loving home &#61516;
		
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You're personality sounds so similar to me... willing to put yourself out and out of pocket to try and help someone only for people to try and rinse you for more/take the P/throw it all back at you .. then when you do stand up for yourself in a correct, but to the point manner without being rude they suddenly dont like it and all hell breaks lose and you are at the middle of it because you gave yourself a voice. I don't ever chose to put myself in these situations, I think some people like the thrill of conflict, but some how I manage to find myself in them  

I am or should I say was in a very similar position, regarding installments. Won't go into it as I've already hijacked some one else's thread over it. I was too softy, softy, got fed up tried to call their bluff - didn't work out exactly how I planned but at least I dont have to deal with them any more and I can block them from my life. 


Hoping for a good out come for you. Will keep checking the thread to see the final result xx


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## leflynn (4 June 2013)

Kat said:



			Don't give them the option to back out. Don't threaten to collect as that means you are giving them the option to vack out, in fact you are inviting them to reconsider or renegotiate and you want this sale finalised. 

Ring now.  Tell them that the trial is over. They are happy with the horse so they need to pay up. Don't give them chance to do anything else. 

Don't convince yourself there will be problems before they arise. Tell them they need to pay now and see what they say. 

If they try to change the deal tell yhem you will call back after speaking to oh/parents to give yourself time to tjink so you don't get bullied into anything or agree to something you will regret. 

But ring now and stop torturing yourself
		
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Great advice ^ Good luck PP I hope it works out for you all


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## noodle_ (4 June 2013)

this is getting daft.........

tbh id just rock up tonight with a horsebox and collect the horse...

id be thinkng the worse tbh............lame or worse....why else wouldt they contact you etc when you said on another post they were/friends/or friends of friends etc..?.


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## ester (4 June 2013)

Stop second guessing and ring them , at a guess she probably doesn't think it's appropriate to ring you at work and is therefore planning on doing so later.


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## pip6 (4 June 2013)

Ditto, above.

You don't have to be confrontrational at all, just matter of fact. They know ther rules, your not doing anything they wont be expecting. The ground rules were set before the trial started. If you don't make the call & things drag on you don't know what's happening to your horse. You owe it to him to get his life sorted, so he is safe & you can relax knowing he is so. If they do try to barter you down, say you want him back as you need him available for other people to try. Whhich if they are mucking you about & you need to take him back is the truth.

All the best. No matter how hard you find it remember you are doing it for him, it will help you deal with it.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

noodle_ said:



			tbh id just rock up tonight with a horsebox and collect the horse...
		
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I'm guessing that the op doesn't have transport from her previous posts, the horse was transported there at shared expense and the return journey (if there's to be one ) is to be at the other party's expense.

Just getting hold of a  horsebox at short notice wouldn't be easy for me, or many people. I think the OP uses professional horse movers. That would take a bit of arranging, and the other party's supposed to pay.


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## Mithras (4 June 2013)

My P takers antenna are on the alert with this one OP.  Ring them, be assertive, find out the story.

And don't take offers of paying in instalments either - you don't want to be in this position every month when they "haven't had enough time to get round to paying yet".

I actually think getting someone else to phone is quite a good idea.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Agree with ester there are no end if reasons why she may not have called that aren't sinister.  

The buyer would probably be stunned to read this. They probably think "she knows we want him so it is just a formality" and they probably don't see what difference it makes phoning in the morning or the afternoon.  

For those suggesting she rock up with the horsebox,  the OP has said she needs this sale. Turning up with the horsebox and an ultimatum is bound to result in the sale falling through.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

Mithras said:



			I actually think getting someone else to phone is quite a good idea.
		
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I don't. If all is well, that would seem weird at best and threatening at worst to the buyers.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I would not turn up with the horsebox unless I was really concerned for his welfare or they tell me that they don't want him.

I hope there is just a genuine explanation. Yes, it's only 1 day after trial period has ended so not totally dragged out etc, it's more the fact that I just haven't heard anything at all and think if I hadnt of texted them over the weekend and rung yesterday I wouldnt have heard anything which to *me* is odd as if I had a horse on trial it (unless family/work etc disaster/emergency struck) would be at the forefront of my mind. I know people can be scatty but its not like borrowing a pair of shoes lol, its a horse!!


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

Kat said:



			Agree with ester there are no end if reasons why she may not have called that aren't sinister.  

The buyer would probably be stunned to read this. They probably think "she knows we want him so it is just a formality" and they probably don't see what difference it makes phoning in the morning or the afternoon.
		
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Yes, I think this is still quite likely. Some of the replies here are somewhat alarmist IMO.


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

When are you phoning?


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I would not turn up with the horsebox unless I was really concerned for his welfare or they tell me that they don't want him.

I hope there is just a genuine explanation. Yes, it's only 1 day after trial period has ended so not totally dragged out etc, it's more the fact that I just haven't heard anything at all and think if I hadnt of texted them over the weekend and rung yesterday I wouldnt have heard anything which to *me* is odd as if I had a horse on trial it (unless family/work etc disaster/emergency struck) would be at the forefront of my mind. I know people can be scatty but its not like borrowing a pair of shoes lol, its a horse!!
		
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Ring ,I need to go XC schooling later you will put me off !


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

TRYING TO RING NOW- ENGAGED!


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## Bambi. (4 June 2013)

Agree with others, you need to ring them. They know that the trial is over and didn't ring last night/this morning so just ring and say you need to know a decision now so you can get things sorted


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## ecrozier (4 June 2013)

Well at least that means someone home!


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

ecrozier said:



			Well at least that means someone home!
		
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No, because if someone else is trying to ring at the same time and the phone's already ringing, you get the engaged tone.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Keep ringing then. Maybe they are on to their bank arranging for a cash withdrawal  

Or maybe the fact the phone is engaged just shows that they really are mad busy.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

So now text saying I rang you you where enaged please call me and I will keep trying you . 
And keep ringing.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

OMFG. FUMING 

Spoke to mother just now. Apparently he has been the perfect horse over the last two weeks, no problems with him. IF they want another horse, HE will be the horse they get. BUT, they're not sure whether they actually want another one, have time for another.

WTF   

YOU DON'T TAKE A HORSE ON A 2 WEEK TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING HIM. YOU DON'T LOOK AT ADVERTS TO HAVE A HORSE ON TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF HAVING ONE.

They are going to talk this afternoon and let me know. I was so upset and speechless I just said okay.

What am I going to do? I have another horse now too, I can't afford two, I don't have the time or money for two and actually, could I really put him through ANOTHER new home?? WTF


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## Clodagh (4 June 2013)

OMG! That is awful, poor you and your horse. What p*sstakers.
So they have had a lovely half term with an extra horse to ride and now he can go back - I would be spitting nails.

Describe your boy...not in a 'for sale' way but just for info...


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



OMFG. FUMING 

Spoke to mother just now. Apparently he has been the perfect horse over the last two weeks, no problems with him. IF they want another horse, HE will be the horse they get. BUT, they're not sure whether they actually want another one, have time for another.

WTF   

YOU DON'T TAKE A HORSE ON A 2 WEEK TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF KEEPING HIM. YOU DON'T LOOK AT ADVERTS TO HAVE A HORSE ON TRIAL IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF HAVING ONE.

They are going to talk this afternoon and let me know. I was so upset and speechless I just said okay.

What am I going to do? I have another horse now too, I can't afford two, I don't have the time or money for two and actually, could I really put him through ANOTHER new home?? WTF
		
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What a bunch of timewasters.

Time to organise that box.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I have just cried at my desk in front of everyone. I feel like such a t**t.

If they ring and say that they don't want him, I will absolutely go mental.

MY POOR BOY  He does not deserve this, he is the kindest and most genuine horse ever and it's not just me they will have let down 

If this doesnt work out, I will NEVER, EVER agree to a trial ever again.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

Oh no. 

I'm so sorry. 

Can you re-advertise and try again? I know you shouldn't have to, and it's unforgivable to mess you about like that, but I can't see what else you can do. 

I assume they're still not sure if they're going to let you know later?


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

She said she needs to go home and talk to the daughter to make a decision.

Honestly, I think I will PTS.

That poor horse has been passed from pillar to post so much these past couple of years that he doesnt know whether he's coming or going. Could I really do it to him again?


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## cobalobM (4 June 2013)

been following this thread, sounds like a nightmare 
I would be fuming, the trial was up yesterday and you were the one who had to keep ringing to ask if they wanted him or not.
I would not ring again, wait for them to get back to you- find someone with a trailer and if you don't hear from them go and get him tomorrow morning- just get him back home then decide what to do. Of they end up saying they do want him- im not sure what I would do, but I would make my feelings very clear!!


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

That's terrible , deep breath ,calm and do some work and try to forget it and ring them tonight if they have not contacted you by seven.
I am hoping they have not just had him for half term , if they don't want him make sure they pay to send him back.
Poor you .


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## Mithras (4 June 2013)

When they come back and ask you for a free loan with view to buy at some vague, undefined point in the future, tell them to take a running jump.

I'd be tempted to invoice them for horse hire for two weeks.

If hes that safe and so good in a new home after only two weeks, someone else will want him.


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## laura-c (4 June 2013)

I think you need a bit of tough love. Pull yourself together, take a deep breath and think about this logically. As said above, they have you over a barrel, you are totally not in control of this situation, and you need to get it back. Tell yourself that it is unfair for them to keep you in limbo. Tell them to arrange the transport and that they need to bring the horse back immediately or pay for him. They have had the arranged two weeks in which to mull things over. Once the horse is back with you, you can go from there. If they want the horse they can bloody well come and pay for it and take it. If they don't then unfortunately you have been a victim of the lovely type we call 'timewasters' and will have to readvertise. A pain, but hopefully the right home will be out there for your boy. Feel for you, and your frustration, but unfortunately there are a lot of them out there, and hopefully you will learn from this if nothing else. Hope things work out for you xxx


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## smellsofhorse (4 June 2013)

oh pp.

I feel so angry for you.
What p takers.

If they decide they don't want him get them to arrange and pay for transport asap 

Don't rush into putting him down.
You have the summer and minimal costs if you put him on grass livery.

Think it over and look for a new home.
We can help if you give us some info.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

What absolute gits! Hope you have a decent deposit that you can keep. 

Text them and tell them that they need to organise and pay for transport if they aren't keeping him. I would also say that you are very disappointed that they have messed your horse around, especially when he has been so good for them. 

May as well make your point and leave them feeling guilty now.


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## CBFan (4 June 2013)

laura-c said:



			I think you need a bit of tough love. Pull yourself together, take a deep breath and think about this logically. As said above, they have you over a barrel, you are totally not in control of this situation, and you need to get it back. Tell yourself that it is unfair for them to keep you in limbo. Tell them to arrange the transport and that they need to bring the horse back immediately or pay for him. They have had the arranged two weeks in which to mull things over. Once the horse is back with you, you can go from there. If they want the horse they can bloody well come and pay for it and take it. If they don't then unfortunately you have been a victim of the lovely type we call 'timewasters' and will have to readvertise. A pain, but hopefully the right home will be out there for your boy. Feel for you, and your frustration, but unfortunately there are a lot of them out there, and hopefully you will learn from this if nothing else. Hope things work out for you xxx
		
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This. Totally this.

Could you perhaps advertise him for loan / share to stay with you? He sounds perfect for a happy hacking mummy...


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## fatpiggy (4 June 2013)

I'm afraid you have simply given them a freebie to play with for a fortnight.  You ask who would do this, and I'm afraid its plenty!  I've seen loads of cases of people coming to try a horse simply to have a day out and a free ride for an hour and then they waltz off home again.  It isn't just horses either.  After my dad died, my mum put the family home on the market and it was clearly advertised as having a full acre of garden.  Although all viewings were done by the estate agent mum wouldn't often hang around, if just to add info and answer questions.  She overheard one man say to his wife as he walked up the drive that the garden was ridiculously large and no way was he doing all that work - he should count himself lucky as we had turfed 90% of the vegetable patch to make upkeep more manageable when dad got too ill to do anything.  I've come to the conclusion that people are basically nosey and envious and love seeing what other people have got so that they can bitch and moan about how unfair it all is, at their leisure.

Go and collect your horse immediately and be glad he didn't end up with these pea-brains, and before they actually do him some harm.  Send them the bill for all the travel in both directions as they have deliberately misled you about wanting to buy and make sure you badmouth them to the widest audience possible. It may help to prevent them trying it on with someone else, but if nothing else, you will feel infinitely better for it


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## JennBags (4 June 2013)

risky_business said:



			I was afraid this would happen. They had no financial loss saying no as there was no downpayment and you have bought another horse in the meantime. I feel sorry for you OP, but the timewasters were glaring at that start. Especially when you paid to transport the horse for them.
		
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Sorry but this ^^^

Also, if you can't afford 2 horses, why on earth did you make a commitment to a new horse before you had a definite new home for your old horse?

I do feel sorry for you, but I'm afraid it's tempered with frustration at the silly choices you make.


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## tessybear (4 June 2013)

Well this is why trails are dangerous !

How ***** that they have taken advantage and found a nice horse over the half term

I would readvertise this time without trial home prior to PTS and just see what interest you get ?


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## ester (4 June 2013)

sorry it's ended up like that, unfortunately a risk taken when not even a deposit is paid pre trial, or any sort of contract which I think some hhoers said previously.


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## baileyxboo (4 June 2013)

I don't understand why you would PTS a perfectly good horse because you don't want to have to send him to a new forever home? Pull yourself together, readvertise. He probs I won't be with you long before he's snapped up by someone who really wants him. 

Ps why would you by another horse before its final that the one you've got is deffo sold?


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I really want to text her telling her how upset and angry I am, how they signed a contract that said th horse was to be returned ONLY if not suitable for the level and type of work that would be expected if he were to stay with them permanantly.

I want to say that they should have thought about whether they really wanted one BEFORE looking at for sale ads and asking to have him on trial.

He is a 15'3 TB x, chestnut in my sig. The kindest most gorgeous and loving horse. But in April he was diagnosed with mild arthritis in coffin joints and fetlock joints. He had said joints medicated and is (or was) sound and back in full work. He is 100% safe to ride, never bucks, rears, gets strong, naps. He is an extremely safe and fun hack but is not good with large vehicles on narrow roads so really needs to go to someone who has off-road hacking. Hence why they were perfect.


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## The Fuzzy Furry (4 June 2013)

ester said:



			sorry it's ended up like that, unfortunately a risk taken when not even a deposit is paid pre trial, or any sort of contract which I think some hhoers said previously.
		
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My thoughts too.
Having got a horse away at present, I've had to be sensible and am loaning a fuzzy at present as can not risk owning an extra - not untill I know that 1st horse is not coming back home. No way would I have brought another till the money is in my bank from a sale (even tho I have the room for another, just not necessarily all the finances)

OP, hope you can sort this mess out


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Get your facts right people. I did have a contract, they signed the contract. NO, I didn't get a deposit, my bad.

I haven't bought another horse, I have a competition horse on loan from my trainer.

I would rather PTS then keep passing him from pillar to post. He has been on 6 different yards in the past 18 months. (3 of them with me which is my fault as I moved, took him with me, then moved back but moved him to a livery yard when I moved him back rathr than back to my next door neighbours.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

It's a trial and a horse is never sold until it's paid for don't give up hope yet.


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## be positive (4 June 2013)

They have viewed the trial as a time to decide whether they want a horse, not whether he is the right horse for them, totally wrong and unfair on you and the horse but sadly a sign of how some people are 

Make sure they do pay for transport to return him, is there any way he could stay, at their expense so you can try for a week or so to readvertise and see if the right home can be found without him having to move again, it really is the least they can do.


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Get your facts right people. I did have a contract, they signed the contract. NO, I didn't get a deposit, my bad.

I haven't bought another horse, I have a competition horse on loan from my trainer.

I would rather PTS then keep passing him from pillar to post. He has been on 6 different yards in the past 18 months. (3 of them with me which is my fault as I moved, took him with me, then moved back but moved him to a livery yard when I moved him back rathr than back to my next door neighbours.
		
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OK, and breath.

Your loan horse can go back - whilst you have your horse back.

Frustrating, but not the end of the world.


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## tessybear (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Get your facts right people. I did have a contract, they signed the contract. NO, I didn't get a deposit, my bad.

I haven't bought another horse, I have a competition horse on loan from my trainer.

I would rather PTS then keep passing him from pillar to post. He has been on 6 different yards in the past 18 months. (3 of them with me which is my fault as I moved, took him with me, then moved back but moved him to a livery yard when I moved him back rathr than back to my next door neighbours.
		
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The way in which you worded it suggested you have bought another horse ... perhaps why people are getting their "facts" wrong ?


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## ester (4 June 2013)

Perhaps you should remind them of said contract then? I do think it is well out of order for them to be saying they don't want another horse having taken one on trial. 

Although I don't suppose you can really make them have him that easily.


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## Fanatical (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Get your facts right people. I did have a contract, they signed the contract. NO, I didn't get a deposit, my bad.

I haven't bought another horse, I have a competition horse on loan from my trainer.

I would rather PTS then keep passing him from pillar to post. He has been on 6 different yards in the past 18 months. (3 of them with me which is my fault as I moved, took him with me, then moved back but moved him to a livery yard when I moved him back rathr than back to my next door neighbours.
		
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 You can be firm when you need to be. I feel for you OP, I really do. But I think it's time to be firm with them. You need to take control of the situation and sooner rather than later. They are walking all over you and the fact that you have simply said 'ok' to them discussing this afternoon, you are again putting them in control. Please take control yourself. I really hope you get this sorted and you get the outcome that you want.


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## Polos Mum (4 June 2013)

Sorry OP but it sounds like a nice free half term loan!  

If you can bare to - readvertise asap so when he gets home you have people waiting to come and see him. 

I can't recall your original thread in detail but I remember he has issues/ injuries - maybe bloodbank or PTS may even be the best route.


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## ester (4 June 2013)

oh and if they do send him back they should absolutely pay for transport there and return.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Chin up PP it's not over till its over and it's not over yet.


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

Oh no!! 
.
I have been totally done over buying in the past and I don't trust anyone now, I think you were just to trusting .
I'd chalk this up to bitter experience. Nightmare but if it was me id beg, steal, borrow a friends trailer/lorry (someone will help you) and go and get him asap.I would not even give these people the time of day.
I'd put him on grass livery and advertise him locally (paper, fb, local rc) for a cheap price as a hack and I bet you will find a nice local home for him. There's a little horse at my yard who's a sweetie but he has arthritis (had it since he was 7 and he's 18 now!) but he's perfect as a hack and he's totally 
adored.
There are lots of people who just want a safe hack to love. You'll find him the right home.
This didn't work out but plenty more fish in the sea so they say.
Just next time take the money and no trials!
It costs a good £400 odd quid to pts nicely you'll spend less than that re advertising and he sounds plenty useful.


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## Wheels (4 June 2013)

Oh dear that's a real shame and their reasoning for sending him back is a bit annoying but it's really not the end of the world and certainly not worth getting annoyed with people on here who have tried to be helpful.

You need to calm down a bit, don't make any rash decisions about pts. If it comes to it you'll have to send the loan horse back


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I can't ring as at work and boss is around but do you think I should text her telling her how upset and disappointed I am or just wait to hear from them?


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			do you think I should text her telling her how upset and disappointed I am or just wait to hear from them?
		
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Personally, no - I wouldn't.

I'd simply spend the rest of the day arranging transport - and then text them the time you will be arriving.


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## WelshD (4 June 2013)

Sadly you cant MAKE them buy the horse regardless of contract

And if you somehow went through the hoops and legally managed to hold them to the contract and they genuinely didnt want a second horse what do you think would happen to him?

Desperately sad for you but have him back, see what his state is (mental/physical) to be sure he is in the condition he was when he left, take a deep breath and move on


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I am seriously hoping that they ring me and say they will have him.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I can't ring as at work and boss is around but do you think I should text her telling her how upset and disappointed I am or just wait to hear from them?
		
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I think I would wait I don't think you can force them to buy him and honestly it has a ring of turth to it because really all they needed to say was he bucked with the mum and we don't want him and you would have to have accepted that.
Just work and ring later if they don't ring you first.


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## The Fuzzy Furry (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Get your facts right people. I did have a contract, they signed the contract. NO, I didn't get a deposit, my bad.

*I haven't bought another horse, I have a competition horse on loan from my trainer.*

I would rather PTS then keep passing him from pillar to post. He has been on 6 different yards in the past 18 months. (3 of them with me which is my fault as I moved, took him with me, then moved back but moved him to a livery yard when I moved him back rathr than back to my next door neighbours.
		
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Okay, well prob best if you warn trainer that horse may have to return at short notice.
I hadn't seen that fact when I posted about getting another horse so quickly, hence me mentioning I had a loaner while my other one is away, and that IS on a short notice for return if needs must.
Please dont jump down my throat, I know you are stressed but some of us were only going on the info given.

Right, phone them up & tell them what is happening:
1: they pay via BACS today
or
2. They arrange a transported to collect tomorrow & return horse to you.

Hope you get it sorted out


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## baileyxboo (4 June 2013)

amymay said:



			Personally, no - I wouldn't.

I'd simply spend the rest of the day arranging transport - and then text them the time you will be arriving.
		
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This.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

He sounds easy enough to sell or full loan. Not being good with big traffic isn't uncommon,  and is manageable even if you don't have off road hacking. 
Don't quite understand why you would PTS especially as you can afford to keep a horse. 

Maybe sit back and wait to hear back and in the meantime consider what sort of people your buyers are. Have they acted in a calculated way to get a free horse or are they perhaps getting cold feet about their ability to offer a forever home? If you think they are basically decent you could see whether they would loan him long term, that may give them the comfort they need to go for it. If deep down you think they are chancers take him back and re advertise.  

A safe kind horse should find a home easily.  But in future make sure you take a deposit.


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## ihatework (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I can't ring as at work and boss is around but do you think I should text her telling her how upset and disappointed I am or just wait to hear from them?
		
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No. deep breath - that can be said face to face when they return the horse.
Make sure they pay for the return.

Probably a little naieve on your part to automatically assume a 2 week trial was a done deal on selling the horse tbh.


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## BlackVelvet (4 June 2013)

What a pain!

And breathe! I would wait until tonight then ring them and ask what is going on. It all seems rude more than anything, how long does it take to let you know either way! Like you have said they have signed a contract so atleast thats something! If they dont get back to you then I would let them know you will be collecting the horse at xx time and day.


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

Definitely don't text them! They don't care and they don't want him or this wouldn't be happening.Would your trainer perhaps pick him up for you or someone at your yard for a bit of diesel and a tenner or a return favour??
I'd be organising that. 
Then I'd call and say I'm picking him up xyz.
It's lovely weather he'll be very happy going into a field, stick an advert on today and he could be sold really quickly. 
There is no panic. Just a bit of organising which is a pain in the a-hole but not the end of the world.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

ihatework said:



			No. deep breath - that can be said face to face when they return the horse.
Make sure they pay for the return.

Probably a little naieve on your part to automatically assume a 2 week trial was a done deal on selling the horse tbh.
		
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They said to me that they only wanted the 2 week trial because of any potential lameness issues due to the arthritis. That was the only reason they said. I knew there wouldn't be any issues re that and didn't think at all it was a done deal but after being there for nearly a week and having texts saying how lovely he is, how they've been having lovely rides and it seemed like he had been there years etc, yes I suppose I did think they would _probably_ buy him.


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## cobalobM (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I can't ring as at work and boss is around but do you think I should text her telling her how upset and disappointed I am or just wait to hear from them?
		
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1) get on facebook, preloved etc and find someone with a trailer/lorry that is available tomorrow
2) do not contact them! if you do not hear from them by 9pm tonight tell person with trailer that everything is going ahead
3) text them saying "I assume you do not want him, I will be collecting him tomorrow and will invoice you as stated in contract"
4) Get him home, put him on grass livery or where ever you can find space, then go from there


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I am seriously hoping that they ring me and say they will have him.
		
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They may stay calm.


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## Grumpymoo (4 June 2013)

Hey pp I have been following your thread. 

I really wouldn't start firing off texts etc as much as its tempting now and you are angry. They may turn round and say they are having him yet and you could blow that with an angry text. 

Take a step back and try not to worry. I know its a horrible position to be in and you must be very upset. 

Wait untill tonight and if no further contact then call them and be firm. Let them know you will collect him asap and then bill them for the cost. 

He sounds lovely and if I didn't have my boy he would be exactly what I would want. There are plenty of people who love a quiet horse to hack so just try to keep calm xxxxx


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## Palindrome (4 June 2013)

Don't get too emotional. Was there a deadline in contract for returning the horse? Be firm with them, if they passed the deadline tell them horse has to be returned asap (and give time of your convenience) or they'll have to pay for him in full. It's not the end of the world if horse is moved as well, particularly since he sounds like a laid back chap.
Put it down to experience and then decide what you are going to do with the horse once you have a clear mindset. They don't really sound like a good home TBH.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!


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## laura-c (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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I think you are bing way too hasty.

Just wait and see how this pans out first before you start thinking about putting your horse to sleep.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

He is only 13 and hasn't been passed from pillar to post, he has moved yards a few times. 

I am struggling to see why you would PTS when you could sell, loan or part loan him.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

horselessb said:



			1) get on facebook, preloved etc and find someone with a trailer/lorry that is available tomorrow
2) do not contact them! if you do not hear from them by 9pm tonight tell person with trailer that everything is going ahead
3) text them saying "I assume you do not want him, I will be collecting him tomorrow and will invoice you as stated in contract"
4) Get him home, put him on grass livery or where ever you can find space, then go from there
		
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No way should PP do this the contract states its up to them to return the horse at their cost and if I where her I would hold them to that.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Obviously nothing will be decided until all this is sorted and HOPEFULLY they will go ahead with the sale.

BUT, if not I do need to start thinking about what is best for my horse.


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## Dot2dot (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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PP I sympathise with you entirely.

Yes, personally I would. But I would be very, very sure that said home was the right home. Easier said than done possibly.

Keep him with you, find a loaner/sharer with the long term plan of them taking him on fully. The loan or share will temporarily help you financially and also let you see if the person is right. You could then take it one step at a time until you are completely happy. Even a sharer is better than a dead horse in my eyes....


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## wallykissmas (4 June 2013)

I would stay calm, if they don't call this eve then call them and ask for an answer. You can then tell them how you feel.

If they return him at their cost I would arrange grass livery where you are or see if you can split your field where you are in haf for both horses.

I wouldn't allow then to turn up tomorrow night with him, unless you think he is in danger then I would make them wait until the weekend.

Then re advertise him to be ridden or trialled at the yard your now on , if he leaves the yard its once he is sold.

Everything happens for a reason, you can say "if only" "I should have" but it something you will learn from.

Also why are they not sure, if he hasn't done anything wrong is it money ?? Worth asking as whist they have him its not costing you. Would they like another two weeks trial and you can still advertise him ?


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## blackandwhite (4 June 2013)

The cynic in me says they wanted the trial because you were offering, and delivering, a nice free horse! But I am notoriously cynical. People know very well whether they want and can afford a second horse. You don't go out and lift one to find that out. Unfortunately you've just made the mistake of being a genuine honest person (my husband's like you, drives me round the bend ). Contract or not you can't force them to have him. They have the horse and their money, there's no incentive to buy. I suspect they'll keep him, for free, until you go and get him. You'll get promise after promise and excuse after excuse. It sucks and it's wrong but not uncommon. I loathe people like that and it's so insulting to decent people but there's nothing you can do and they certainly won't care if you're upset. I think you'll just have to organise transport and take it on the chin unless you're happy just to give him away to them. Next time no free trials, listen to the HHO oracle, much knowledge they have.

Or... they'll phone you later and it'll all be fine. Which is perfectly possible.


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## horsesatemymoney (4 June 2013)

OP, easy for me to say and I feel so, so sorry for you, but calm down. Don't even think about PTS yet, there are people who would want him, you're just unfortunate that you're obviously a nice person and trusting and these people who took him aren't. But not everyone is like that. They've done you over, had him for a free ride over a few weeks, but that just says what they're like. You're better than that, so don't lower yourself to screaming, shouting and swearing at them. Go and get him, tonight or tomorrow, then get him advertised, or look for a part share. 
Honestly, he sounds good- mild arthiritis, but is sound, that would not put me off if he's as good as you say in other ways. Lots of people who want a happy hacker would be more than happy and snatch your hand off to take him. You've just been incredibly unfortunate with people who are just timewasters. Don't upset yourself over them, easy for me to say, but its really not worth it. I hope that you are ok, I'd be acting the same as you if I was in your position, it's just cruel, but it can be resolved. xx


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## WelshD (4 June 2013)

bluntly?

I would keep him. if he has a good quality of life which he seems to have. 

If the six yards have been loan homes then the judgement of getting the home right clearly isnt there. if they have just been livery yards with his owner then thats not really relevant if he is as laid back as you say. If you had an issue with the number of yards he had been on previously then why agree to a trial when there was a chance he could be returned

Like I said before its desperately sad for you and your frustration is evident but he needs you right now and this isnt time for snap decisions


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

Hmmm, what is the reason for the 6 yard moves? Does he seem upset or happy in himself.
He's a horse, if he's pain free, has food,  water and is safe he's fine.
Think of it this way... there could be a person out there right now who is wanting a horse just like him, who will give him love and get immense happiness from him. What about denying someone that?!
Most horses end up in nice homes not horrid ones. It's the more difficult horses you have to watch, with quirks that ordinary riders cannot cope with. That doesn't sound like your boy...


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## Grumpymoo (4 June 2013)

I would not pts. I would bring him home and see how he is. You can asses the situation then. It doesn't sound like this move has bothered him too much as he has behaved perfectly for them. 

Just try not to panic too much. I now its hard as I would be stressing like you are too!!


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## HBM1 (4 June 2013)

taylorsxmummy said:



			I don't understand why you would PTS a perfectly good horse because you don't want to have to send him to a new forever home? Pull yourself together, readvertise. He probs I won't be with you long before he's snapped up by someone who really wants him. 

Ps why would you by another horse before its final that the one you've got is deffo sold?
		
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This sorry, I know you are upset currently, but honestly, put him to sleep just because you have made a mistake??  I would have thought if you were allowing a horse to go on trial for two weeks a hefty non-refundable deposit would have been the first thing to get.  This has allowed these people to pee you about and it is not the horse's fault.  If anyone has to go it should be your competition horse, whilst you sort your first boy into a suitable home.  There are people out there, you may have to drop the price, but at least he can go to a good home and then you can sort yourself with a new horse.

Can't ruddy put to sleep a healthy horse just because you have another!  

edited to add, no more trials, no more loans, sell him to a good home!


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## Pilib (4 June 2013)

Is the only health issue mild arthritus? 

If so, personally I would keep the horse and tailor it's workload to what it was capable of. This is what I have done with my horse, I have put aside any serious competitive ambitions until I am in a position to have another horse that can do more. As I want to guarantee his future. 

But fingers crossed you wont have to make this decsion and they will take him. Good luck.


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## Juni141 (4 June 2013)

PP you poor thing!! I have been following this thread too and I think we have all had our fingers crossed that it was just flakiness on their side...

It is so easy to send a spiteful message in the heat of the moment (ask my ex boyfriends!!) but it won't achieve anything and you sound like me, in that you'd regret it 2 minutes later.

I would probably have assumed the exact same thing as you; if they'd told you they loved having him, he was exactly what they wanted etc of course you'd anticipate it would all go through with no probs. That said, look at it in a positive light- better to know now that they weren't ready to be a forever home than 2 months done the line when you have no control over the situation. 

Call them this evening and ask them to arrange for him to be delivered back. He sounds like a lovely, mellow chap and I am sure he will cope fine with another move. Plus they are all much more chilled out at this time of year with good grass and sun on their backs. 

Start advertising him straight away and count yourself lucky that you have about 40 people on here racking their brains for a new home for him too!!

And if all else fails....get yourself a big 99 icecream! xxxx


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## leflynn (4 June 2013)

Gawd, I hope they realise what tits they are and ring and say they'll have him, if not it is up to them to return him? If so it could give you a bit breathing space to find a grass livery spot (day or two) and then try and find another home for him. Your current yard might take him back for a short period of time as grass livery?

I worry about my boys moving yards but they settle quicker than you think and once they are happy with their human/food etc they take to it fine and I'd rather they were given another chance than pts if possible.  You know the horse and your situation but deep breaths and fingers crossed.


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## Polos Mum (4 June 2013)

If you are really worried about his long term future - the only way to secure that is to keep ownership of him and loan him out.  How would you feel if you sold him and then in a few months found out he'd been sold on again? 

A loan home might be less worried about his health issues - as they will just send him back if there is a problem and then you can have the PTS debate.


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## smellsofhorse (4 June 2013)

He has settled in 2 weeks in a new  place with new people.
So moving again to nice understanding people and to a nice forever home he will soon settle.

Don't rush into anything.

Call them tonight for a final decision and arrangements.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

fatpiggy said:



			make sure you badmouth them to the widest audience possible. It may help to prevent them trying it on with someone else, but if nothing else, you will feel infinitely better for it 

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Sorry, I think that's seriously bad advice.

"Badmouthing" only reflects badly on the person doing it, IMO. Yes, these people let PP down, but what they did was take a horse on trial, and not buy at the end of it. The reason they gave is very poor, but hardly an excuse to spread malice about them.

I don't think badmouthing makes anyone feel "infinitely better" in the long run. Much better to let the anger go and be the bigger person than end up with a reputation as a bitter, bitchy gossip.


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## RunToEarth (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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If I were you I would send the horse you have on loan back to the owners, bring your boy home and give yourself to think his future through properly without making any decisions off the cuff. 

Yes, it was silly of you to get a new horse whilst you hadn't sold your own, but it's happened now. You just need to get your own horse back home and go from there.


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## philamena (4 June 2013)

OK try not to panic and fill your mind with horrific scenarios. 

On the actual "evidence" you have so far the best case scenario is they're thoughtless and a bit wrapped up in their own world and don't think they've done anything wrong (happens more often than you'd think). Worst case scenario is they deliberately took him on trial knowing they weren't trialling him per se, but were trialling whether they actually wanted another horse or not.

So try not to panic. Definitely DON'T text them to say how upset you are. Texting in this kind of situation is a really bad idea. Imagine how you'll feel if you just don't hear back: even more upset. It's not going to get you anywhere. 

Wait until you can speak to them (this evening?), calmly and clearly ask for a final answer on whether they will be keeping him and paying for him. If they dither, tell them very calmly and clearly that they therefore need to bring / send him back, and agree when that will happen. If they look like getting sticky about that I'm afraid you have to chalk it up to experience and pick him up.

Try not to panic. I know how it feels, but you just need calmly to re-take control of the situation. As I often say: worst that happens is you're just back where you started. You found a solution once, you can find it again. From how you describe him, I don't actually think he would be that difficult to rehome. There are loads of people looking for a safe and reliable horse and no one expects them to be completely saintly.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Loan horse won't be going anywhere. Neither will mine for a bit if he comes back.

I will find the money and time for 2 but it could only be for a few weeks. I love my boy I do, but he isn't what I want. He was only ever bought with a view to sell on within a year or 2. If anyone has read my posts re him in the past 6 months they will know all the stress and heartache I have gone through with him.

Yes he's better now and great, but I am afraid as callous as it sounds I want done with it all now. I am tired, seriously, seriously tired of it all.


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

When I got J, he wasn't really what anyone wanted. Who want's a 4yr old stiff, weak ex racer with a habit of spinning and bronching. His owner didn't. However she did the right thing and she found me and he is my dream horse.
There is nothing that much wrong with your ginge. You found this home, you'll find another. 
It will all be done and dusted soon. Advertise him, once you have a few nice people ring up you will feel so much better.


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

Ps I can help you with his ad if you want. I'm amazing at adverts .


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## laura-c (4 June 2013)

I may get shot down for this, but I think you are feeling more sorry for yourself than the horse at this moment. You complain about not being able to afford the two, and your reluctance to send your loan horse back in this situation, even though you can, speaks volumes. I can understand you making excuses for putting your horse to sleep e.g. him being passed from pillar to post, not coping, fear of him being mistreated (I can relate - I have recently had my mare PTS after 18months of her being field sound. I toyed with the idea for a year before she was kicked in the field and the decision was made for me -horrible to say, and as upsetting as it was, it was a relief) however I think if you were honest with yourself, you know that the horse could and can have a good quality of life, you just need to find that home for him. I think deep down that you feel it is an inconvenience to you to have him back which throws a spanner in the works with your new horse, and it is easier to make excuses in favour of him being put to sleep in order to get yourself out of the mess you are currently in.

I may be totally off the mark, but that is how it comes across to me. I am not trying to be gripey at all - I know some posts on here can be rude and I'm not trying to be at all - It's just the way this comes across to me.


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## smellsofhorse (4 June 2013)

IF he comes back and you can only keep one horse after a few weeks then you need to take responsibility and send loan horse back until you find a decent home for your horse.
Then think about what you want and get a new horse.

Your horse may not be what you want but you owe it to him.
Don't put him down because you want rid.


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## Kat (4 June 2013)

Wow PP just re read what you have put there! 

It sounds worryingly like you are tired so would rather have your horse destroyed than have the hassle of re advertising or having to send your loan horse back! 

I hope that was just bad wording due to your frustration at the situation!


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

That is absolutely NOT what I meant.

I have said that 1. IF I considered PTS it would be because I don't want him to end up being passed from pillar to post (say for instance in winter if he becomes a bit stiff and whoever thinks 'ohh, actually, it's a bit of maintence I can do without') NOT for any other reason.

I have just said in my above post that if they don't want him, he will be coming back to me. NO, not to stay indefinitely, but so I can TRY and TRY is the operative word here to find him a loving, permanant home.


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## lottiepony (4 June 2013)

I've just read this whole thread and I do feel for you OP but mistakes are there to be learnt from. You should have never have assumed they were going to have him. A horse is only sold once the money is in your bank. The reason they gave is poor however better that they have said now (although there is still a chance they might still have him) as how would you feel if you later found out he had been sold again??? If this home is so ideal why not offer a loan or do you desperately need the money? 
As another thought perhaps there is another reason but they don't feel they could tell/explain. I've been to look at a horse for a friend and it wasn't suitable but trying to explain to an owner that it isn't and why without sounding rude can be hard after all in their eyes they are perfect!!


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## ihatework (4 June 2013)

If you want to secure your horse a safe and secure future then do not sell him, once that happens you loose all control.

Loan him out.

Yes it will take a bit of effort on your part, and yes you will need a contingency plan should you have a loaner that sends him back - but I'm afraid the buck probably stops with you on this one. There are plenty of lovely loaners out there who are very good and won't mess you around!


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## RunToEarth (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Loan horse won't be going anywhere. Neither will mine for a bit if he comes back.

I will find the money and time for 2 but it could only be for a few weeks. I love my boy I do, but he isn't what I want. He was only ever bought with a view to sell on within a year or 2. If anyone has read my posts re him in the past 6 months they will know all the stress and heartache I have gone through with him.

Yes he's better now and great, but I am afraid as callous as it sounds I want done with it all now. I am tired, seriously, seriously tired of it all.
		
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I'm sorry PP, I enjoy reading your posts and I'm glad the boy came right, but regardless of whether he is unfit for purpose/suplus to requirements he belongs to you and you owe him the right decision at the end of the day, that is not being put to sleep because you are tired of the drama he has caused you, that isn't really what owning a horse is about.


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## smellsofhorse (4 June 2013)

right I think op.
needs to log of here.
Not think about it.

Finish work, do evening things, like her loans horse.
Eat and have a nice alcoholic drink!
.Think call woman and get final decision and make arrangement.
Whichever way they may go.

Then log back on and tell us.

We will either congratulate you or help with the next step if he us coming home.


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## Firewell (4 June 2013)

Yep agree with blucanoo


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## siennamum (4 June 2013)

I think OP is emotional and stressed so, she should have a deep breath and a cup of tea and we should not jump on her for sounding off & imagining the worst case scenarios.

PP, the - "we aren't sure if we need another horse", line sounds like a tactic to beat the price down to me.

Hold fire till later, horse is fine, they are looking after him, there is no urgency to act immediately & see what they come back and say.

Decideup front - if neccessarywrite it down, what you will say to them if they say they want a price reduction, or in fact if they say they don't want him, so you aren't caught out when you speak to them. Personally I would move a bit on the price as a matter of principle, but not give him away, and I would demand they deliver him back at their expense if they don't want him.

I reckon you could find a nice home for him yet so all is not lost - these things are just sent to try us!


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place?
		
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No.

I think you owe it to this horse to keep it or shoot it.


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## weebarney (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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I'd put him on loan.


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## baileyxboo (4 June 2013)

I want him


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## stormox (4 June 2013)

Whatever your thoughts are, PP, the person who has him 'on trial' is messing you about. For all you know, they could be reading this thread and know they have you in an awkward position.
Accidents can happen, horses need vets, who's paying the fees? There could be other problems occur- how do you know theyr riding/treating him properly?
In my mind, if this is how they mess you, the owner about it wouldnt be such a perfect home! I wouldnt want my horse there!!


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## *hic* (4 June 2013)

taylorsxmummy said:



			I want him 

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Well I'm sure the OP would consider an offer


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## RutlandH2O (4 June 2013)

laura-c said:



			I may get shot down for this, but I think you are feeling more sorry for yourself than the horse at this moment. You complain about not being able to afford the two, and your reluctance to send your loan horse back in this situation, even though you can, speaks volumes. I can understand you making excuses for putting your horse to sleep e.g. him being passed from pillar to post, not coping, fear of him being mistreated (I can relate - I have recently had my mare PTS after 18months of her being field sound. I toyed with the idea for a year before she was kicked in the field and the decision was made for me -horrible to say, and as upsetting as it was, it was a relief) however I think if you were honest with yourself, you know that the horse could and can have a good quality of life, you just need to find that home for him. I think deep down that you feel it is an inconvenience to you to have him back which throws a spanner in the works with your new horse, and it is easier to make excuses in favour of him being put to sleep in order to get yourself out of the mess you are currently in.

I may be totally off the mark, but that is how it comes across to me. I am not trying to be gripey at all - I know some posts on here can be rude and I'm not trying to be at all - It's just the way this comes across to me.
		
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Without appearing to be argumentative, I have to agree with this ^^^. When I started reading this thread I felt, and still do, you've been treated disrespectfully by the people who are trialling your horse. I really felt you cared deeply for your boy and wanted a forever home for him. I'm not getting that sense now. As suggested by several other posters, you need to send your loan horse back and focus on your horse, if these people decide against purchasing him from you. There was a thread on another forum with reference to people trying to find forever homes for their horses. Someone posted: "I'm not going to give my horse a forever home, but I expect you to." I think your preparation in placing your horse on trial was well thought out (contract, time limit, communication). I just believe, now, that you jumped the gun and acquired your loan horse before final decisions were made, based on your, and their, positive feelings about your horse. If you really think your boy has been passed from pillar to post too often and you are that upset by the situation, then keep him yourself. At some point in the not too distant future, you will find another home that will conform to your standard of care.


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## Strawbz (4 June 2013)

This.



siennamum said:



			I think OP is emotional and stressed so, she should have a deep breath and a cup of tea and we should not jump on her for sounding off & imagining the worst case scenarios.

PP, the - "we aren't sure if we need another horse", line sounds like a tactic to beat the price down to me.

Hold fire till later, horse is fine, they are looking after him, there is no urgency to act immediately & see what they come back and say.

Decideup front - if neccessarywrite it down, what you will say to them if they say they want a price reduction, or in fact if they say they don't want him, so you aren't caught out when you speak to them. Personally I would move a bit on the price as a matter of principle, but not give him away, and I would demand they deliver him back at their expense if they don't want him.

I reckon you could find a nice home for him yet so all is not lost - these things are just sent to try us!
		
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And this. (ETA) Sadly I'm not in the position to buy but would help out with a share if you were local to me.



taylorsxmummy said:



			I want him 

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Please take a deep breath OP. You can't make any decisions until you know for certain what is happening. Write a few things down to clear your thoughts. Think about what your response will be for each scenario the phone call could take so you have a script to try and keep your emotions down. 

Does your YO know he could be coming back?


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## Bigginge (4 June 2013)

Well aren't we a judgemental lot this afternoon. OP sounds pretty stressed right now and perhaps jumping to all the worst case scenarios. FWIW though and I admit I don't know the whole history of your horse and his problems, but if you can't secure a long-term safe and comfortable future then there are worse things than PTS. A horse lives in the moment and changing homes/owners every few weeks or months is unsettling and distressing.


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## Spring Feather (4 June 2013)

I'm sure you are just upset PP and that's why you are coming across as unfeeling, and dare I say heartless, regarding your horse.  You sound like he is nothing more than a nuisance to you and you just want rid of him.  I think (hope) it's just the stress and upset which is why you are saying these things.  

The horse sounds like a very sweet horse and if he is then there is no reason for someone else to think he is a nice horse.  

He's only been away 2 weeks and you've said they have raved about how good he is, well that answers your question about how he deals with being 'passed from pillar to post'!

You need to have a plan of action in place now for if they do decide they don't want him and are going to send him back to you.  Good luck.  I'm not harping here but personally I can't be doing with this sort of hassle so I'd have just collected him yesterday when the 'loan with view to buy contract' was up.


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## Zero00000 (4 June 2013)

Sounds to me like the OP is very stressed and after spending the last 2 days running around worrying about this then I give her the right to be, 

When your in such a situation you generally do pick the worse case scenario, 

I hope you get the answers you want PP good luck, will be watching from the sidelines x


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

They are not having him.

She was nice about it, said he is the perfect horse for them, she has fallen completely in love with him and it 100% isnt anything he's done but daughter lost her job last week and they've lost a member of staff and so are now not in a position to buy another.

I now have a dilemma as in hindsight, bringing him back to where I am now is not going to be suitable. We have no hacking, you have to hack for roughly 2 and a half miles on a very narrow road with ditches either side before you get to anywhere safe to get off road and trot or canter or even just get off the road away from traffic. People on my yard don t hack for this reason. It is bad enough with a horse who is 100% with all vehicles but with one who isnt good with large vehicles it is not safe or suitable environment for people to try out a happy hacker.

It was a nightmare when they came to view him as after taking him in the school they wanted to hack as that was what they were buying him for. After 10 mins of wandering down the road the girl said shall we just go back this is pointless just wandering down this road that is another reason why I agreed to the trial as I knew they had their private estate to hack him around and miles and miles of forestry commission land to hack too.

I just rang next door neighbour to see if he could go back there as it is good hacking around there but they have just bought another pony for their granddaughter so havent got room.
I NEED to get him somewhere with good hacking so potential viewers can actually try him. 

This is just a nightmare.


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## Strawbz (4 June 2013)

Yes, good luck OP. Sending positive vibes for a 'what are your bank details?' call


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## *hic* (4 June 2013)

Whereabouts in Norfolk are you?


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## Strawbz (4 June 2013)

Oh sh&*, just seen your update. Sorry to hear that. When are they bringing him back?


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Near Norwich


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## sjp1 (4 June 2013)

Are they not in a financial position to purchase the horse, or to keep him?

If you are thinking about loaning him out, then perhaps they could loan him?


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## *hic* (4 June 2013)

OK - no point in offering a few weeks at mine whilst you re-advertise as I'm too far away.

Is there any mileage in asking them (guilt tripping them) if they would keep him at theirs whilst you re-advertise - sounds like they have the facilities for you to show him off well there.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

They can't loan him, they can't have him full stop.

They don't have time or money.


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## BigYellowHorse (4 June 2013)

Bide your time wait for a definite response like others have said organise transport to stand by for pony picking up.. 

If he returns home, I would not PTS just yet. You have got the right time of year being the start of the summer, we are having a nice dry spell and grotty winter thoughts are just a distant memory. 

I wouldn't loan, there is the full chance you might, once again be giving someone a horse for the summer holidays only to be returned when schools go back or we hit the gloomy winter months again and from what I have read if returned you would once again be in deep waters. 

Sharing would too be hit and miss though if returned I would find someone who perhaps is just looking for summer months riding - which would then help to cover some of the care and costs.  I'd then start to advertise again, everywhere and anywhere, making sure sharer knew that there is a potential that he could be sold at any time. 

If you get to the end of the summer and if you have had no success then I would then think about PTS, it would never be my choice but I am in the position where I can keep an ornament, and I know not others are so lucky. But like other have said there are far, far worse ends for horses, especially if he does have mild arthritis and is sound therefore easy to pass off for a healthy horse. There's always a chance he'll get in the wrong hands and made do levels of work he just isnt fit for. 

My ideas arent much help I know, there's a lot of rose tinted glasses going on that there will be a sharer etc. but along with other people's ideas perhaps you can use parts and piece some sort of compromise together and get a, if not perfect, but complete outcome. xx


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## Strawbz (4 June 2013)

Also do they know anyone that could be interested in him, either buy or loan? After all they have said how perfect he is.


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## deicinmerlyn (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I am seriously hoping that they ring me and say they will have him.
		
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To be quite honest why ? Other than you don't want him? Are they really the right people for him? After all you have said, I don't think so!

Perhaps they were hoping that they could have him for nothing and that you won't go and pick him up, calling your bluff.
Personally I wouldn't leave my horse with people like that anyway. How can you trust that they will care for him in the future.

 It was clear when they did not respond to you yesterday they had no intention of having him (unless for free?)

While I appreciate this is stressful for you and no doubt you thought he was off your hands, he is your responsibility and should come before the loan horse. sorry.


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## horsesatemymoney (4 June 2013)

Just a thought OP, I don't know, but what about the blood bank?


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## BigYellowHorse (4 June 2013)

Sorry just seen you recent update..  Will ask a couple of friends as I know a few people in Norfolk.. see if they might know of any grass livery or something similar even just as a short stay x


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## kizmund (4 June 2013)

If they are being honest then wouldn't you rather them send the horse back...you havent lost anything, rather than keeping the horse and his care not be up to par due their financial situation. 
To me it seems theyve taken him on trial with good intentions, daughter has lost her job and theyve tried to work out a way in which they could work it but couldn't. 

I believe you owe it to your horse to either keep him or sell or loan him to a good home. 

My horse is quirky and I know if I sold her she could easily end up in the wrong hands. I feel I owe it to her to give her a secure future so I have put her on loan while at uni and when I'm finished I'll have her back. It's cost me money and time and stress but I love her and wouldn't have it any other way and I'm happy in the knowledge that she is happy in her loan home and will come back to me when I am finished at uni.


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

I think you're getting to caught up in the detail.

Bring him home and go from there.


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## Spring Feather (4 June 2013)

I really wouldn't class this as a 'nightmare', it's just a little set back    Phone around some livery yards who offer off-road hacking and move him there for a month while you readvertise him.  When you are selling horses you need to have proper facilities that suit the horse and potential buyers so if a hacking home is wished for then he needs to be at a yard where there is hacking available.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

They are not having him. That is the end.

I now need to find him another home but more importantly in the first instance try and find somewhere to bring him home to where there is good hacking so that people can actually TRY him.

I might see if they would keep him another week (she said they would keep him for as long as I need to find somewhere for him) and re-advertise him tonight and try and sell him from there where there is good hacking for people to be able to do that.

He IS in good hands with them despite all this so if possible, to save up rooting him AGAIN it would be a better option if he could stay there whilst I try and find him a home, even if I had to pay them.


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## Spring Feather (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I might see if they would keep him another week (she said they would keep him for as long as I need to find somewhere for him) and re-advertise him tonight and try and sell him from there where there is good hacking for people to be able to do that.

He IS in good hands with them despite all this so if possible, to save up rooting him AGAIN it would be a better option if he could stay there whilst I try and find him a home, even if I had to pay them.
		
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That's the best idea you have had in this thread.  Go for it, it sounds like the perfect place to sell him from.  If they are happy to do this then just pay them a months livery and take all viewers there.


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

PP, just bring him back to your yard.


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## ridefast (4 June 2013)

Do you want with him and don't let strangers on the internet make you feel bad about whatever decision you come too.


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## lula (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			They can't loan him, they can't have him full stop.

They don't have time or money.
		
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i hope you asked when *they* will be bringing him home then?

I wonder why they left it until the end of the trial period to tell you the daughter had lost her job 'last week" and that they've lost a member of staff. (seems rather like one problem cancels out another tho, cant daughter now muck out or take over 'staff's' duties?)

..or am i being cynical in thinking they've had rather a conveniently bad week?

Bloody people eh. 

mind you, if horse WAS at yours only 2 weeks ago surely cant be end of the world to bring him back again while you re advertise can you? Dont think you really have any choice?


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## lula (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			I might see if they would keep him another week (she said they would keep him for as long as I need to find somewhere for him) and re-advertise him tonight and try and sell him from there where there is good hacking for people to be able to do that.

He IS in good hands with them despite all this so if possible, to save up rooting him AGAIN it would be a better option if he could stay there whilst I try and find him a home, even if I had to pay them.
		
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ah well this will solve your temporary problem then.

will they be charging you to keep him longer? for gawd's sake. get this covered before they present you with a bill in 4 weeks for sales livery!


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## pip6 (4 June 2013)

Ditto regarding livery bill.

At least you know where you stand & understand why they were behaving odd. Much better to know.


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## debbien (4 June 2013)

Mithras said:



			When they come back and ask you for a free loan with view to buy at some vague, undefined point in the future, tell them to take a running jump.

I'd be tempted to invoice them for horse hire for two weeks.

If hes that safe and so good in a new home after only two weeks, someone else will want him.
		
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Well said..totally agree... good 'uns are not that easy to find


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## slumdog (4 June 2013)

Unless I've missed something I don't understand how they don't have time for him but he can stay with them for a while until you find somewhere? Unless you're looking after him at their yard?


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I haven't even asked them yet!!!!!! It may not be possible but if they could find it within themselves(!!!) to have him for another week or 2 whilst I re-advertise him I would be very grateful!! He can live out now as its summer so would be minimal effort on their part. I would offer to go and look after him every day but they are over an hours drive away so not really do-able. OR, I will offer to pay for him to stay there for a couple of weeks whilst I try and find him a home. He is obviously happy and settled there, it is very good hacking for people to be able to try him, it will be a lot less stress for him if I could find a home for him whilst he is there. They may say no the above and fine, then I will have to get them to drop him back but it cant be to my current yard- really there is no point, just dont have any hacking for people to be able to try him so it would have to be yard nearby to me for a month or so that has good enough hacking.


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## slumdog (4 June 2013)

Ahh I see, I wasn't being funny- I thought they had offered.


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## honetpot (4 June 2013)

I would look at all your local Facebook pages , All things horsey East Anglia, mother daughter share, hope its not the same people, retirement livery £25 a week, Horsepoo(Cambridge), work it like its a job for 3-4 weeks you will find him the right home.


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## stormox (4 June 2013)

Loads of horses get sold from yards where theres no hacking. And most people are happy with a spin round a school or field. You could always video him out on a hack if you wanted. If you bring him home you are no worse off than before. It is very difficult to try and sell from a loan home, theres 3 parties to organise times, etc. And you have to try to accomodate buyers who want to come 'NOW' .


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## LaurenBay (4 June 2013)

Sounds like best option is to ask them to keep on to him and find him another home there.

Only downside is whenever you have viewings you will have to make the hours drive to meet them.


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## Hoofprints in the Snow (4 June 2013)

It will also mean, if they keep him at grass at their place for a couple of weeks till he is sold, they won't have to pay transport to return him!


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

This is just a sale that's fallen through he should return to his owners control ASAP .


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## Irishbabygirl (4 June 2013)

I don't think it's a good idea to leave him there - bring him home and sell from yours. I'm sure people don't expect a jolly hack in the country side if you explain it's not available. Just a hick trot durn the road would suit me.
Best of luck with it all.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

To all the people that have PMd me- thank you. I am out atm and cant reply on phone but will do when I get in x


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## PoppyAnderson (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			he could stay there whilst I try and find him a home, even if I had to pay them.
		
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You are joking, right?


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## Always-Riding (4 June 2013)

Followed this thread with interest. 

OP please find a suitable livery near to you. The people are taking the "Pee"!! They wanted a horse for half term and they got one.... Now your offering them to have a horse for free or even to pay them! They've struck gold in their eyes.

For your horse's sake get him back and cared for by someone who at least cares and wants the best for him.


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## Amy567 (4 June 2013)

Sorry if it's already been said, but if the contract states that he can only be returned if unsuitable, then surely they are in breach of the contract? I would charge them advertising fees, full fees for transport and horse hire for two weeks for breach of contract and wasted time on your part. Really angers me when these things happen.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

Always-Riding said:



			Followed this thread with interest. 

OP please find a suitable livery near to you. The people are taking the "Pee"!! They wanted a horse for half term and they got one.... Now your offering them to have a horse for free or even to pay them! They've struck gold in their eyes.

For your horse's sake get him back and cared for by someone who at least cares and wants the best for him.
		
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Since they've now explained that a member of the family lost her job unexpectedly last week, they may have been genuine buyers. Changes in circumstances can happen, even during a trial period.

I can't see the practicality of selling him from somewhere an hour's drive away though, even if they agree.


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## PoppyAnderson (4 June 2013)

Amy567 said:



			Sorry if it's already been said, but if the contract states that he can only be returned if unsuitable, then surely they are in breach of the contract? I would charge them advertising fees, full fees for transport and horse hire for two weeks for breach of contract and wasted time on your part. Really angers me when these things happen.
		
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You might as well try and plait fog as try and hold them to a 'contract'.


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## Queenbee (4 June 2013)

amymay said:



			OK, and breath.

Your loan horse can go back - whilst you have your horse back.

Frustrating, but not the end of the world.
		
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amymay said:



			Personally, no - I wouldn't.

I'd simply spend the rest of the day arranging transport - and then text them the time you will be arriving.
		
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Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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laura-c said:



			I may get shot down for this, but I think you are feeling more sorry for yourself than the horse at this moment. You complain about not being able to afford the two, and your reluctance to send your loan horse back in this situation, even though you can, speaks volumes. I can understand you making excuses for putting your horse to sleep e.g. him being passed from pillar to post, not coping, fear of him being mistreated (I can relate - I have recently had my mare PTS after 18months of her being field sound. I toyed with the idea for a year before she was kicked in the field and the decision was made for me -horrible to say, and as upsetting as it was, it was a relief) however I think if you were honest with yourself, you know that the horse could and can have a good quality of life, you just need to find that home for him. I think deep down that you feel it is an inconvenience to you to have him back which throws a spanner in the works with your new horse, and it is easier to make excuses in favour of him being put to sleep in order to get yourself out of the mess you are currently in.

I may be totally off the mark, but that is how it comes across to me. I am not trying to be gripey at all - I know some posts on here can be rude and I'm not trying to be at all - It's just the way this comes across to me.
		
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Kat said:



			Wow PP just re read what you have put there! 

It sounds worryingly like you are tired so would rather have your horse destroyed than have the hassle of re advertising or having to send your loan horse back! 

I hope that was just bad wording due to your frustration at the situation!
		
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Agree with everything above... Send loan horse back, your priority is the horse you own.  I do feel for you and your horse but personally I would take a dim view of someone who PTS their own horse and keeps their loan horse in this situation, hopefully you can find a new home for your horse but choosing a loan over your own... Not something that would ever sit well with me.

I really hope this all works out for you op.


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## FionaM12 (4 June 2013)

PoppyAnderson said:



			You might as well try and plait fog as try and hold them to a 'contract'.
		
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I agree. Very few contracts stand up, and who would want to go through the hassle and expense of trying to take it to court, which would take ages and you could lose?

In the end, most things are largely trust. They don't want the horse after all. Annoying and disappointing, but it _was_ a trial.


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## noodle_ (4 June 2013)

Queenbee said:



			Agree with everything above... Send loan horse back, your priority is the horse you own.  I do feel for you and your horse but personally I would take a dim view of someone who PTS their own horse and keeps their loan horse in this situation, hopefully you can find a new home for your horse but choosing a loan over your own... Not something that would ever sit well with me.

I really hope this all works out for you op.
		
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this ^^

im in the "there are fates worse than death" camp....however in this situation that is purely convenient to you selfish reason to pts.....

loan out or re-sell him

and for god's sake bring him back home....


you are being walked all over ....! free horse for half term, you pay them (wf?!) to keep him......


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## Venevidivici (4 June 2013)

Haven't read whole thread but get your horse back now and return loan horse if needs be.
People only take the pee for as long as they are allowed to. You should be the one running the show,you're the owner!!


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

He is staying until the weekend, I am going up tomorrow eve to see him.

I have advertised him locally and have had a fair amount of reponse. IF I can try and sell him from theirs before the weekend then I will as I don't really want to bring him home again, for him to then go again. It's more upheavel for him.

I chatted with the mother tonight, she said she understood they've messed me around, apologised and said that he can stay for another week or whatever if I need.

If I can't find him a new home in the next week then I have found some cheap(ish) grass livery for him with some off-road and quiet road riding so will get them to bring him there.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

Chin up lass .


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## Grumpymoo (4 June 2013)

Well thats some positive news! Good luck and keep us updated. X


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## Amymay (4 June 2013)

PP, I do sympathise with your situation.

But I have to say, this poor animal is being treated pretty shoddily.


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## baileyxboo (4 June 2013)

Can I ask where the horse is at,? And how much are you looking for him?


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## cobalobM (4 June 2013)

noodle_ said:



			im in the "there are fates worse than death" camp....however in this situation that is purely convenient to you selfish reason to pts.....
		
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PP did state that she would ONLY put him to sleep if the last option was to move him around again, poor horse would have to move back to pp's yard, then somewhere else if she decided to keep him, or if she wanted facilities for potential buyers, then he would have to move again to new home, which would not 100% be life long anyway.

it does sound like you love this horse a lot PP so at the end of the day do whatever YOU feel is best


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## Mongoose11 (4 June 2013)

taylorsxmummy said:



			Can I ask where the horse is at,? And how much are you looking for him?
		
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Taylorsxmummy, am I right in thinking you are new to a pony share...?


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## Jools2345 (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			Okay so throwing this thread off on another tangent here because quite frankly I need some help.

IF your horse had been on 6 different yards in the past year (a few of them being to previous owner too) was 13 and had health issues. WOULD you, yes or no, risk him going to yet another new place? 

I would not do PTS lightly. But I am terrified of him ending up in the wrong hands or being passed from pillar to post and surely PTS is a better fate than that?!
		
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i have not read the posts that follow the above, but yes i would move a horse around i don't get the big issue with it. if a horse competes and stays at a venue over night it is essentially moved to a 'new yard' for a night, if you do a long distance ride from a to b your horse may have many 'new yards' in a week.

he is 13 not 30, and can do light work if i understand correctly? he is also a gentleman who never puts a 'foot wrong'?

you chose to take on a horse on loan before you had sold the one you had, you are as guilty as the people who had your horse for 2 weeks as you could not guarantee you could take on the loan horse long term but have taken it anyway


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

No he isn't. He is staying with them until the weekend, I am going to see him tomorrow and check he's okay. After the weekend, if I haven't found a good home for him he will be coming back with me to some grass livery. What more do you want?? Do NOT tell me what I can and cannot do with my horse. I cannot win on this forum, I get angry, upset and stressed earlier and say perhaps PTS would be best rather than him be shipped from pillar to post, I get ripped to shreds. I am now saying that I have re-advertised him (which EVERYONE has told me to do) and have had a lot of interest and will hopefully find him a good home in thenext week but until then is staying where he is as despite everything I know they wouldn't mistreat him, I can visit him every evening, have suitable facilities for any potential new buyers to hack him out and it MAY mean he doesn't have to be brought from pillar to post. IF by the end of the weekend I haven't been able to find him a suitable home, he is coming back with me to grass livery. I'm sorry, apart from demanding my horse come back to me this evening I fail to see how he is being shoddily treated? If I thought for one minute his welfare was at risk or if I go and see him tomorrow and he is NOT in a well cared for state then I will tell them to immediately load him and bring him to the grass livery. I am just trying to minise shunting him around anymore.


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## baileyxboo (4 June 2013)

Billie1007 said:



			Taylorsxmummy, am I right in thinking you are new to a pony share...?
		
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I ment to buy. My friend is looking for a horse x


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

risky_business said:



			Sadly I agree with AmyMay. The horse seems an inconvience to you and you would rather rush a sale then look for the right home. 

Your horse should be the priority, not the loan horse you don't share. I understand you wish to compete, but having looked back through past posts you clearly loved this gelding. Do what is right by him, not you.
		
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I HAVE JUST TURNED DOWN TWO BUYERS OFFERING A QUICK SALE AND GOOD HOME WITHIN THE LAST HOUR BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL THEY WOULD BE THE RIGHT HOME FOR HIM- DO NOT TELL ME I AM RUSHING A SALE RATHER THAN FIND THE RIGHT HOME FOR MY HORSE.


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## HBM1 (4 June 2013)

OP people were very supportive of you until you said you would put your horse to sleep, who has no major health issues and could live a very happy life with someone, as you would prefer to keep your loan horse and can only afford one.  there is no point getting angry with people now, if you don't like what is being said it is just as easy to walk away from the thread than have a go at the very people who tried to help you out yesterday.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

HBM1 said:



			OP people were very supportive of you until you said you would put your horse to sleep, who has no major health issues and could live a very happy life with someone, as you would prefer to keep your loan horse and can only afford one.  there is no point getting angry with people now, if you don't like what is being said it is just as easy to walk away from the thread than have a go at the very people who tried to help you out yesterday.
		
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That is NOT what I said and if it came across that way then that is not what I meant or how I meant it to come across.

I would never PTS so I could 'have another horse' I mentioed PTS and as usual, people on here JUMPED on it like a pack of hyenas and will not let it blo ody go!!!!!! I was upset and steseed and fed up.

I NEVER said that would be my reason for PTS.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Quite frankly I don't care. I have had an absolute gutful today and people on here who dont know me from Adam accusing me of negligence and not giving a damn about my horse because I haven't done things the EXACT way they would have done them is ridiculous. And hurtful and I'm sorry but people saying what the hell they want and not expecting any kind of come back or me to defend myself is totally unrealistic.


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## lula (4 June 2013)

risky_business said:



			Sadly I agree with AmyMay. The horse seems an inconvience to you and you would rather rush a sale then look for the right home. 

Your horse should be the priority, not the loan horse you don't share. I understand you wish to compete, but having looked back through past posts you clearly loved this gelding. Do what is right by him, not you.
		
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i dont think she comes across like that at all and thinking you're judging her a little too harshly tbh.

i dont think there's anything wrong with having a horse pts if you cant guarantee its future, its vulnerable or its future looks doubtful. its a hard decision to make and when made for the right reasons, a brave one.


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## Spring Feather (4 June 2013)

Forget it PP, don't get yourself wound up.  You've found a temporary solution for the moment and hopefully you will find the perfect buyer very soon for the horse.


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

I'm not arguing anymore.

I haven't been rude to anyone on here, I haven't name called etc. I have been open and honest and I'm sorry if people don't agree with everything that I have said but at the end of the day, it is my life, he is my horse and I will take the course of action that I think is best for him at the moment.


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## Puppy (4 June 2013)

Spring Feather said:



			Forget it PP, don't get yourself wound up.  You've found a temporary solution for the moment and hopefully you will find the perfect buyer very soon for the horse.
		
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/\ This. 

Chin up  I'm sure it will all work out


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## lula (4 June 2013)

risky_business said:



			I am afraid if you put your life on the Internet, expect it to be scrutinised. 

I am sure the 'loaners' are aware of this post too.
		
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why are you sure>?

i dont think she quite did put her whole life out there to be judged and scrutinised tbh.

The OP has obviously had a bad day and has thought or written as ideas have occurred to her. Maybe not the smartest thing to do as people dont let you forget things you say that might not be the wisest and for that reason i suggest you might like to give the OP a break.


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## Queenbee (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			That is NOT what I said and if it came across that way then that is not what I meant or how I meant it to come across.

I would never PTS so I could 'have another horse' I mentioed PTS and as usual, people on here JUMPED on it like a pack of hyenas and will not let it blo ody go!!!!!! I was upset and steseed and fed up.

I NEVER said that would be my reason for PTS.
		
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Op, I agree with the next post you posted, you have had a gut full today and the potential buyers have treated you and your horse really badly IMO.  This is obviously heightening your feelings especially tonight.  Sadly, what you did say is:

You are considering PTS
You will not send your loan horse home
Your horse has been in six different homes recently... Surely that is down to you, ultimately his security is your responsibility.

Bottom line in my opinion is that if you put down a horse you could have sold on as rideable and keep your loan horse (no matter how super loan horse is) you are choosing a loan horse over your horse and pretty much disposing your of your horse because its an inconvenience to keep, a difficulty to rehome and doesn't do what you want... Not because its knackered.


As I said before I really hope you do not go down this road.


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## horsesatemymoney (4 June 2013)

I think OP has had the mother of all bad days, stuck in work and worried, so it's no surprise she's biting to people who are suggesting she's considered  PTS as the horse doesn't suit her. OP the horse is safe, sleep on it and start tomorrow with a fresh head.


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## Queenbee (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			That is NOT what I said and if it came across that way then that is not what I meant or how I meant it to come across.

I would never PTS so I could 'have another horse' I mentioed PTS and as usual, people on here JUMPED on it like a pack of hyenas and will not let it blo ody go!!!!!! I was upset and steseed and fed up.

I NEVER said that would be my reason for PTS.
		
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horsesatemymoney said:



			I think OP has had the mother of all bad days, stuck in work and worried, so it's no surprise she's biting to people who are suggesting she's considered  PTS as the horse doesn't suit her. OP the horse is safe, sleep on it and start tomorrow with a fresh head.
		
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Agree... This was what I meant to say at the end of my previous post... Completely forgot to!


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## Perfect_Pirouette (4 June 2013)

Queenbee said:



			Op, I agree with the next post you posted, you have had a gut full today and the potential buyers have treated you and your horse really badly IMO.  This is obviously heightening your feelings especially tonight.  Sadly, what you did say is:

You are considering PTS
You will not send your loan horse home
Your horse has been in six different homes recently... Surely that is down to you, ultimately his security is your responsibility.

Bottom line in my opinion is that if you put down a horse you could have sold on as rideable and keep your loan horse (no matter how super loan horse is) you are choosing a loan horse over your horse and pretty much disposing your of your horse because its an inconvenience to keep, a difficulty to rehome and doesn't do what you want... Not because its knackered.


As I said before I really hope you do not go down this road.
		
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But WHO has said that is what I am going to do??? I honestly do not get the sheer pandamoneum that seems to have broken out on this thread. 

Bottom line is-

This horse was bought by me, IF I hadn't have bought him, old owner was going to have him PTS as she was in a personal mess, had tried to sell him and wasn't successful, then sent him to an equestrian college to be used as a college horse but he does not cope well in that kind of environment and with no turn out so 6 months later was expelled. He was going to be PTS and then I came along. He was not at all what I was looking for or wanted but he was kind, sweet and genuine and at the time I had a stable and land and no horse. I bought him but it was NEVER on the pretence that he would be with me for life or even a long time. I made it clear he would be sold on after I had had him for a year or so, got him out and about and 'brought him on' a bit. I saved him from being PTS, do you honestly think after all that I would PTS lightly, on a whim because 'I don't want him'??! Do you know what I have been through with this horse in the past 6 months?! Do you not think that if it was a case of just 'discarding him' for a better model that I would have done it by now?

The 6 different homes were not all down to me no.

I don't need to send my loan horse back, I can have the two if need be but I am sorry, for me, that would not be an indefinite arrangement. I would want to find a home for my boy, be it sold or permanant loan as quickly as possible. He wouldn't go without, he would still get lots of attention but at the end of the day it's not a situation I would want. Yes, I could send my loan horse back but I have been waiting for 3 months to get him because I was waiting until my boy went to a new home, I genuinely after nothing but praise for the first week and asking when his jabs weere due etc thought that he had found it and so yes, did go and pick up new horse. But there you go.


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## Goldenstar (4 June 2013)

PP bath bed that's an order , tomorrow is another day.


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## Magicmillbrook (4 June 2013)

So sorry to read this thread.  Selling a horse is so hard, even without all this messing around.  Glad you have got things sorted short term, and it will all seem better in the morning.  I am a Norfolk person so will keep my ears open.  Have you tried looking or posting on All things Horsey Norfolk on FB - its a popular site.

Re the arthritis.  I bought our mare at 13 with arthritis and she continued a useful, healthy horse competing in PC and RC until she retired at 23 so I am sure someone will be interested.


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## Venevidivici (4 June 2013)

You'd *visit* every night and he's over an hour's drive away?! Blimey! :O 
Hope you manage to find a good buyer soon


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## Queenbee (4 June 2013)

Perfect_Pirouette said:



			But WHO has said that is what I am going to do??? I honestly do not get the sheer pandamoneum that seems to have broken out on this thread. 

Bottom line is-

This horse was bought by me, IF I hadn't have bought him, old owner was going to have him PTS as she was in a personal mess, had tried to sell him and wasn't successful, then sent him to an equestrian college to be used as a college horse but he does not cope well in that kind of environment and with no turn out so 6 months later was expelled. He was going to be PTS and then I came along. He was not at all what I was looking for or wanted but he was kind, sweet and genuine and at the time I had a stable and land and no horse. I bought him but it was NEVER on the pretence that he would be with me for life or even a long time. I made it clear he would be sold on after I had had him for a year or so, got him out and about and 'brought him on' a bit. I saved him from being PTS, do you honestly think after all that I would PTS lightly, on a whim because 'I don't want him'??! Do you know what I have been through with this horse in the past 6 months?! Do you not think that if it was a case of just 'discarding him' for a better model that I would have done it by now?

The 6 different homes were not all down to me no.

I don't need to send my loan horse back, I can have the two if need be but I am sorry, for me, that would not be an indefinite arrangement. I would want to find a home for my boy, be it sold or permanant loan as quickly as possible. He wouldn't go without, he would still get lots of attention but at the end of the day it's not a situation I would want. Yes, I could send my loan horse back but I have been waiting for 3 months to get him because I was waiting until my boy went to a new home, I genuinely after nothing but praise for the first week and asking when his jabs weere due etc thought that he had found it and so yes, did go and pick up new horse. But there you go.
		
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Pp, bottom line, what you do with your horse is ultimately your decision, I do stand by my posts but I also recognise that fact.  However I doubt you took on ownership of a horse to save it from being PTS just to PTS yourself.  If you can keep two fine, but if you can't keep two indefinitely, when push comes to shove your obligation should always be to the horse you own.

As I keep saying I truly hope for a good outcome on this, but sadly it seems that if you can't find a new home since you can't keep two on indefinitely you have already decided the one to keep is your 'loan' horse, not your 'own' horse


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## ridefast (5 June 2013)

Hem hem... Seriously why does this matter so much to everyone? Even if the OP did decide to put down a healthy horse, you know what people, there's LOADS of unwanted horses dying slow deaths or filling up rescues, just go there and "rescue" one of them from slaughter. There are FAR WORSE fates for a horse than being PTS a few years too early, and let's face it, when the time comes that any horse is deemed to be "ready" to put to sleep, that it would be "cruel" to keep the horse alive any longer, that decision has normally been made because a horse has already been suffering for quite a while. Considering people are dying every day, WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT A STRANGER DOES WITH HER HORSE! Go and appreciate your own horses and let PP do whatever she chooses with her horse. Who are you to judge her on which horse she does or doesn't keep? It's her life, her money, her horses, her decision. Frankly OP, why on earth did you ask for advice on here?


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## Queenbee (5 June 2013)

ridefast said:



			Hem hem... Seriously why does this matter so much to everyone? Even if the OP did decide to put down a healthy horse, you know what people, there's LOADS of unwanted horses dying slow deaths or filling up rescues, just go there and "rescue" one of them from slaughter. There are FAR WORSE fates for a horse than being PTS a few years too early, and let's face it, when the time comes that any horse is deemed to be "ready" to put to sleep, that it would be "cruel" to keep the horse alive any longer, that decision has normally been made because a horse has already been suffering for quite a while. Considering people are dying every day, WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT A STRANGER DOES WITH HER HORSE! Go and appreciate your own horses and let PP do whatever she chooses with her horse. Who are you to judge her on which horse she does or doesn't keep? It's her life, her money, her horses, her decision. Frankly OP, why on earth did you ask for advice on here?
		
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I don't disagree, there are far worse fates, but I do think our obligations lie with the horses we own, not loan.  Having said that op, in the interim whilst you are trying to find somewhere for your horse would your loan horses owners be approachable, could you explain the situation, that you may find yourself in a situation where you can only keep one etc, would they be able to help out with a portion of your loan horses cost in any way for a short agreed period?  Cheeky yes but they may well rather this than having him back (which I know you won't do but they don't know that).  Also do you have a local RDA and would your own horse be a potential candidate for that?


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## Switcheroo (5 June 2013)

That seems really strange. Texting is rubbish, perhaps you could ring or rearrange to pop down and discuss it in person. I've had a really bad experience with a trial too (only that I was the one trialling.)

Basically the horse was not as described. The owner would not take him back and he stayed with us for a month, with us paying for his keep past the agreed contracted trial period. The owner then wanted to keep the 100 'safety' desposit we placed on him despite the money we spent bedding/feeding him well past the trial period.

Using a trial might work for some people, but I've only heard bad things... I hope you get sorted soon. It would be a shame for the horse to be put down.


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## gingerlegs (5 June 2013)

OP I have followed this thread all the way through, I hope you can find the right home for him for life in the short time you've got. It sounds like you have had a horrendous time and only came on here for some support.

As far as the PTS thing is concerned, ignore this lot!! I don't doubt for a moment that if you had advertised your horse for a very nominal sum/permanent loan/free and it had been picked up by someone on here you would be getting a grilling for not doing the right thing and having him PTS instead of sending him to an inevitable terrible fate .... can't do right for doing wrong 

Good Luck and please keep us updated if you find him a home


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## lula (5 June 2013)

ridefast said:



			Hem hem... Seriously why does this matter so much to everyone? Even if the OP did decide to put down a healthy horse, you know what people, there's LOADS of unwanted horses dying slow deaths or filling up rescues, just go there and "rescue" one of them from slaughter. There are FAR WORSE fates for a horse than being PTS a few years too early, and let's face it, when the time comes that any horse is deemed to be "ready" to put to sleep, that it would be "cruel" to keep the horse alive any longer, that decision has normally been made because a horse has already been suffering for quite a while. Considering people are dying every day, WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT A STRANGER DOES WITH HER HORSE! Go and appreciate your own horses and let PP do whatever she chooses with her horse. Who are you to judge her on which horse she does or doesn't keep? It's her life, her money, her horses, her decision. Frankly OP, why on earth did you ask for advice on here?
		
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agree with you

people love a drama.

never have i seen such an outraged fuss made about a person wanting to sell a horse she doesnt want.

what does everyone else do with horses they grow out of, put them on the mantle piece? if you're so morally obliged to do right by every horse that comes across our path in ife you wouldnt risk selling them as you cant possibly know where they'd end up. Some fates ARE worse than pts, trust me.


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## Goldenstar (5 June 2013)

ridefast said:



			Hem hem... Seriously why does this matter so much to everyone? Even if the OP did decide to put down a healthy horse, you know what people, there's LOADS of unwanted horses dying slow deaths or filling up rescues, just go there and "rescue" one of them from slaughter. There are FAR WORSE fates for a horse than being PTS a few years too early, and let's face it, when the time comes that any horse is deemed to be "ready" to put to sleep, that it would be "cruel" to keep the horse alive any longer, that decision has normally been made because a horse has already been suffering for quite a while. Considering people are dying every day, WHY DOES IT MATTER WHAT A STRANGER DOES WITH HER HORSE! Go and appreciate your own horses and let PP do whatever she chooses with her horse. Who are you to judge her on which horse she does or doesn't keep? It's her life, her money, her horses, her decision. Frankly OP, why on earth did you ask for advice on here?
		
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I do agree Op thought she had found the perfect home for her horse then the penny dropped perhaps it was all going to fall through she was at work worrying "thinking " it though on HHO.
There are far worse fates for any horse than being PTS .
However I dont think that where this horse is going this time he's will find a home as a hack .
OP was just thrown yesterday by something that seemed perfect going wrong.


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## xspiralx (5 June 2013)

PP - 

I hope you're feeling better about things this morning.

Whilst I don't think it is the worst thing in the world to PTS a healthy horse, I do think you're getting unnecessarily hung up on the 6 yards in a year situation.

He's a 13 year old horse, with a mild health problem that can be easily managed.

6 yards in a year is not ideal but it's far from a disaster situation either - if he is a fairly chilled out horse, then as long as his basic needs are being met (food, company, shelter, warmth etc) then a change in home won't deeply traumatize him.

13 is far from old - he's practically in his prime - so stop panicking!


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## wildwest (5 June 2013)

well i cant believe your turning down as you quote GOOD HOMES just because its a quick sale ? when you need a quick sale.... poor horse


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## gingerlegs (5 June 2013)

wildwest said:



			well i cant believe your turning down as you quote GOOD HOMES just because its a quick sale ? when you need a quick sale.... poor horse
		
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I think the OP also stated she turned down GOOD HOMES because they weren't the RIGHT HOME... surely that is more important!


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## Dusty85 (5 June 2013)

ridefast said:



			Hem hem... Seriously why does this matter so much to everyone? 

Go and appreciate your own horses and let PP do whatever she chooses with her horse. Who are you to judge her on which horse she does or doesn't keep? It's her life, her money, her horses, her decision. Frankly OP, why on earth did you ask for advice on here?
		
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Agree with this. 

It's none of our business which horse OP decides to keep or PTS, and its not our right to judge her for it. I don't think there is an 'obligation' to either horse. 

Sometimes i wonder why anyone asks for advice on here


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## nix123 (5 June 2013)

Morning Pp. Hope you slept last night. Have you had anyone contact you through any adverts you've done yet? Did you manage to see your horse last night? (Not sure if you said you were going to see him). Hopefully you'll have some interest this weekend. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.


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## diamonddogs (5 June 2013)

Blimey OP, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Regarding PTS, I intend, when I get around to it, to have it put in my will that my mare would be PTS if a suitable home could not be found if I was no longer around to care for her, and loads of my friends would do the same. I have read hundreds of posts on HHO advising owners to PTS a healthy horse so save it from an uncertain future! 

I'm always wary about posting "stream of consciousness" threads on here as people will always jump on things and call you out on them if you accidentally contradict yourself later on. Lesson learned!

I have to admit you have come across on occasion as putting your loan horse above this boy, but I just read it as the musings of a stressed-out person thinking aloud, not as an uncaring owner wanting an easy life.

I've been in the opposite situation to this, with a LWVTB horse. I needed a new horse after my lovely mare died, and this horse seemed perfect. A teenaged owner with a lovely mum, thought I'd be a perfect owner, kept in touch while a sorted stuff out at my end, offered free transport to my yard etc etc. I visited the horse three times during the two weeks before she was to be delivered. I went on the Saturday, saw mum and daughter, arranged a time for delivery the following week, then everything went quiet. I phoned the mum on the Thursday, had to leave a message, and got a text on Friday lunchtime to say the daughter had decided to loan the horse to her friend!!! As if that wasn't bad enough, it obviously didn't work out cos the horse was being advertised again within the month!

Anyway, I digress...

Your boy sounds just the sort of horse I would want if I was looking for an addition to my herd, and I'm sure there's loads of people out there that would think him ideal, so I wish you all the luck in the world in finding him a fabulous home.


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## noodle_ (5 June 2013)

Queenbee said:



			I don't disagree, there are far worse fates, but I do think our obligations lie with the horses we own, not loan.  Having said that op, in the interim whilst you are trying to find somewhere for your horse would your loan horses owners be approachable, could you explain the situation, that you may find yourself in a situation where you can only keep one etc, would they be able to help out with a portion of your loan horses cost in any way for a short agreed period?  Cheeky yes but they may well rather this than having him back (which I know you won't do but they don't know that).  Also do you have a local RDA and would your own horse be a potential candidate for that?
		
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this is what im getting at too! ^^

like i said there ARE fates worse than death and if OP had said everything MINUS loan horse i would personally be one who said "mabey pts is a option if you cannot afford"....because the bought horse is the priority imo...


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## Juni141 (5 June 2013)

PP you poor thing!! I have just read through the posts loaded since I left work yesterday and I find some of the responses quite incredible!! 

What a bunch of rude, nosy and over-opinionated people you lot can be!!!

What PP does with her horse is HER business and HER business alone. She very obviously came on here to air her frustrations, bat some ideas and thoughts around as the situation developed and probably get a little bit of sympathy for a cr*ppy situation. 

I really hope you can find him the right home, well done on you for not going for a good home but waiting out for the right one. I think it is by far the easiest and most sensible thing to leave him where he is and if luck goes your way find him a new home from there. After all, he can't read all the cr*p that has been written on here, he has food, water, shelter and company so he will be happy as larry! And if he isn't I have no doubt you will move him straight away.

If you find that you cannot find him a home where you are comfortable he will have the quality of life he deserves and be cared for properly you are perfectly within your rights and IMO acting responsibly if you decide to have him PTS. 

I am sure you will find him a great home with lovely people... And to the rest of you (as my mother would say) "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"...


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## fizzer (5 June 2013)

Juni141 said:



			PP you poor thing!! I have just read through the posts loaded since I left work yesterday and I find some of the responses quite incredible!! 

What a bunch of rude, nosy and over-opinionated people you lot can be!!!

What PP does with her horse is HER business and HER business alone. She very obviously came on here to air her frustrations, bat some ideas and thoughts around as the situation developed and probably get a little bit of sympathy for a cr*ppy situation. 

I really hope you can find him the right home, well done on you for not going for a good home but waiting out for the right one. I think it is by far the easiest and most sensible thing to leave him where he is and if luck goes your way find him a new home from there. After all, he can't read all the cr*p that has been written on here, he has food, water, shelter and company so he will be happy as larry! And if he isn't I have no doubt you will move him straight away.

If you find that you cannot find him a home where you are comfortable he will have the quality of life he deserves and be cared for properly you are perfectly within your rights and IMO acting responsibly if you decide to have him PTS. 

I am sure you will find him a great home with lovely people... And to the rest of you (as my mother would say) "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"...
		
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 Totally agree


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