# Major pathetic yard conflict



## mhorses (17 April 2012)

This may sound ridiculous to some people but my livery yard has had the mother of all arguements over loo roll. Our little loo at the yard has a sign at the door please bring your Own loo roll as it is a DIY yard beside a farm an there is no assigned ym just the farmer. So anyway A girl called Barbara bring baby wipes with her to the yard and she left them in the toilet a month ago by accident and Katy went in an hour or so later and used some wipes and brought the rest to spruce her horse up before a show that afternoon. Babara realised when she got back and saw the empty Packet of wipes on the floor outside Katy's stable. She was furious and bitched to me and others for days about it and even went as far to calling her a thief! 
Anyway a month has passed and Barbara has stopped bringing baby wipes and now brings "andrex extra soft shell" or something and locks it in her tack box as if it is jewlery. She did exactly the same thing and left it in the loo and went back the next afternoon to find it all used!

She has hit the roof! Threatened to get us kicked off the yard even though we dont know who used it. Barbara is cousins with the farmer and can be minipulative. We all live the yard apart from barbara. Any advice! It is so immature.


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## ThePony (17 April 2012)

Is it too hard just to stick a pack of tissues in your pocket? If you leave something in the loo then it is bound to get used by people caught short. To be fair, if that is the biggest prob at your yard then you are doing ok!!


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## Trolt (17 April 2012)

Erm .... Wow. Makes me love my yard more! 

Call a yard meeting, set up a rota for who buys loo roll? Or have someone in charge of collecting £1 a week from everyone to specifically buy loo roll?


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## martlin (17 April 2012)

LOL, the bog roll saga. I had the issue at my yard for a while, when I used to buy Andrex Aloe Vera for my liveries, they used to go through copious quantities of it  Now I swapped to co-op own economy brand (aka sand paper ) the problem has all but disappeared 
No real advice, tbh, maybe just buy her some wipes and loo roll? Or drown her in the loo perhaps?


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## swampdonkey (17 April 2012)

can't you just replace items  for the sake of peace and harmony! 

life is too short!


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## Farma (17 April 2012)

WOW that does seem petty. 
I think I would take £20 down to tesco buy a huge supply of loo roll and put it all in there with a note saying 'for everyone- courtesy of (your name)'.
Voila no more arguments


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## touchstone (17 April 2012)

Dear me, what a kerfuffle!   

I'd either offer to all club together and buy huge multipacks of loo roll, or provide your own and none to be left in the loo.


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## Capriole (17 April 2012)

ok, Barbara needs to stop leaving things in the bathroom if she doesnt want random people using them.  If someone has forgotten paper they will use whats there, rightly or wrongly.

Katie needs to buy her own wet wipes if she wants to clean up her horse. And to stop leaving litter on the floor outside stables.


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## ThePony (17 April 2012)

martlin said:



			LOL, the bog roll saga. I had the issue at my yard for a while, when I used to buy Andrex Aloe Vera for my liveries, they used to go through copious quantities of it  Now I swapped to co-op own economy brand (aka sand paper ) the problem has all but disappeared 

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Lol!!! Had similar - posh 'branded' baby wipes for eye bogies (horses not mine!) were forever being swiped. Now I use cheapy ones no one bothers nicking them!


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## The Fuzzy Furry (17 April 2012)

Put sign on loo door 'out of order' (could add - or you will be if you use the wrong bog roll! )

Bingo - problems sorted


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## Hippona (17 April 2012)

I'm with Barbara on this one.
I would be mighty miffed if someone used my top-quality bog roll too. Outrageous. Buy your own ''shiny white'' if need be.

Can you not get together and organise a bog-roll fund?

Or failing that.....use straw


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## monkeybum13 (17 April 2012)

What a big fuss!

Just use your own tissues, simples!
(It was quite cheeky of the girl to take baby wipes from the toilet to use on her horse)


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## Jazzy B (17 April 2012)

I have to agree with Barbara to use a few to wipe your bum then fine but to nick the entire lot to use on the horse a bit out of order! 

And you think this is a pathetic yard conflict we had one on our yard about.....wait for it..... "a kitchen knife"  oh yes said knife got removed by one of the liveries because none of the rest of the mingy liveries were washing it after using it and the best bit was, it wasn't even hers!!


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## YasandCrystal (17 April 2012)

Gosh, just have a loo roll kitty


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## xxMozlarxx (17 April 2012)

monkeybum13 said:



			What a big fuss!

Just use your own tissues, simples!
(It was quite cheeky of the girl to take baby wipes from the toilet to use on her horse)
		
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Using loo roll left by others I can understand, if I left it there then they are welcome. Taking wipes which clearly aren't yours to use on your horse is no different than taking anything which isn't yours. It must have been obvious they were left accidentally, the girls a chancer, why isn't she using her own wipes on her horse..or is it that she wouldn't usually have wipes to use on her horse..even worse!


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## Ranyhyn (17 April 2012)

I wouldn't be best pleased to find someone had taken the wipes out of the khazee to use on their horse TBH!  However, if you put something somewhere be prepared to have people use it (although I feel it's fair only to use it for the purpose intended!)


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## kerrieberry2 (17 April 2012)

You have a loo?  that would be nice haha


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## mhorses (17 April 2012)

Well we have had arguements over a missing 20p plastic hoof pick. Hate livery yards.. The bitchiest place on planet earth.


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## xxMozlarxx (17 April 2012)

kerrieberry2 said:



			You have a loo?  that would be nice haha
		
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LOOOOOOL


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## Fellewell (17 April 2012)

Look, it's perfectly obvious, Barbara has haemorrhoids and these are making her bad tempered. Buy her some Anusol. Problem solved.

Did Katies horse get placed? If so, what brand were the wipes?


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## xxMozlarxx (17 April 2012)

mhorses said:



			Well we have had arguements over a missing 20p plastic hoof pick. Hate livery yards.. The bitchiest place on planet earth.
		
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Value is irrelevant, if it isn't yours don't use it!!


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## burtie (17 April 2012)

I hope they don't put the used one's down the loo, likely to cause a very very expensive blockage


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## true dragon (17 April 2012)

kerrieberry2 said:



			You have a loo?  that would be nice haha
		
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i know! i use the corner of my horses stable if im caught short.... and drip dry


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## FionaM12 (17 April 2012)

kerrieberry2 said:



			You have a loo?  that would be nice haha
		
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That's what I was thinking.  We wee in stables.  Our own horses' stables, of course. We have _some_ class. 



I do agree it's pretty outragious to nick someone's wipes from the loo and use them all on your horse, _then_ dump the empty pack outside the stable!  She should replace them, and apologize.


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## Bright_Spark (17 April 2012)

Why not just all have a loo roll kitty or take turns in supplying (cheap) loo roll?

Failing that, just all leave different coloured loo rolls in the loo, so you know which is your to use


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## Paris1 (17 April 2012)

ToiletGate! 

Little things become an issue. We are all human. Perhaps B should remember to remove her toilet roll and it won't be used.


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## TicTac (17 April 2012)

Oh dear what a bummer! I bet if somebody put a box of good old fashioned Izal loo paper in the toilet it wouldn't disappear so quickly.

Barbara should learn not to leave her stuff around and the other people to learn to keep their hands off !

I always have a pocket full of tissues, so fortunately have never encountered this kind of a problem!


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## Misog2000 (17 April 2012)

I'm another one that's with Barbera a bit....while her reaction is a bit over the top I know how annoying it is when a few end up buying and everyone uses!


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## OWLIE185 (17 April 2012)

Fail to understand why yard owner/farmer does not provide toilet rolls.


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## Hutchie (17 April 2012)

I'm with Barb on this one, how dare they use her nice wipes lol!  Sending hugs to barb 

We just pee in the stable no loo roll involved just drip dry


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## Super_Kat (17 April 2012)

You guys live the life of luxury, I don't even have a stable to wee in, I have to squat behind my container/shed thing which is in view of the mad lady next door who happens to be rather nosy 

I'd just go to booker/costco or even Tesco's and get a massive job lot and pray it shuts everybody up!


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## Achinghips (17 April 2012)

What a load of drama queens!!!!  Why did you all allow Barbara to bitch for days about it in the first place and provide an audience for it - sounds to me like you all deserve to waste each other's time.


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## Mlini (17 April 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			I do agree it's pretty outragious to nick someone's wipes from the loo and use them all on your horse, _then_ dump the empty pack outside the stable!  She should replace them, and apologize.
		
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I thought this.

Our YM buys the loo roll for us. Lucky us!

We have a mystery sanitary product flusherer on our yard... LOL 
We have signs on all four walls of the toilet that say:

'Do not flush sanitary products down the toilet
They block the drains
Bag them up and put them in the big green dustbin'

I found it rather funny as they were on all four walls in a room not big enough to swing a cat in.


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## LaurenBay (17 April 2012)

Hahaha, this thread has brightened up my afternoon! I don't even have a tiolet at my yard, we have to squat! Could you not bring our own tissues up?


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## Hells Bells (17 April 2012)

I apologise if this has been said before, but why not set up a toilet paper rota? I know it's easier said than done, but if you're all adults, then I don't see why it wouldn't work. I've got a milk rota on my yard and it works splendidly.

As FionaM12 said, I do think at least an apology should be given re the wipes being used on her horse... but all in all, it's toilet paper ladies


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## millsandboon (17 April 2012)

For goodness sake  - please return all used bog roll to Barbara


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## jendie (17 April 2012)

I'd present her with a giant box of bog roll, nicely wrapped in paper and bows. After that do a collection and buy a huge supply for general use. But using a pack of wet wipes on a horse was a bit much, the girl returned should replace and apologise.


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## pixiebee (17 April 2012)

mhorses said:



			This may sound ridiculous to some people but my livery yard has had the mother of all arguements over loo roll. Our little loo at the yard has a sign at the door please bring your Own loo roll as it is a DIY yard beside a farm an there is no assigned ym just the farmer. So anyway A girl called Barbara bring baby wipes with her to the yard and she left them in the toilet a month ago by accident and Katy went in an hour or so later and used some wipes and brought the rest to spruce her horse up before a show that afternoon. Babara realised when she got back and saw the empty Packet of wipes on the floor outside Katy's stable. She was furious and bitched to me and others for days about it and even went as far to calling her a thief! 
Anyway a month has passed and Barbara has stopped bringing baby wipes and now brings "andrex extra soft shell" or something and locks it in her tack box as if it is jewlery. She did exactly the same thing and left it in the loo and went back the next afternoon to find it all used!

She has hit the roof! Threatened to get us kicked off the yard even though we dont know who used it. Barbara is cousins with the farmer and can be minipulative. We all live the yard apart from barbara. Any advice! It is so immature.
		
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to be honest, if i kept buying stuff and it got used and never replaced everytime i go up i think i would be annoyed too. Simple solution, BUY YOUR OWN, not exactly expensive!


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## PapaFrita (17 April 2012)

xxMozlarxx said:



			Value is irrelevant, if it isn't yours don't use it!!
		
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Exactly!! Why did Katy feel at liberty to help herself to someone else's stuff AND use it all up? In my experience it's always the people doing the borrowing who think everyone is making a fuss over nothing.


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## goodtimes (17 April 2012)

Sorry, but I just go in my stable and drip dry! What a fuss over nothing


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## Wagtail (17 April 2012)

I'm a great believer in signs. You need one on the inside of the toilet door saying 'Don't forget your loo roll'.


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## mhorses (17 April 2012)

Barbara uses pudgies and no that horse never gets placed its a right old mule!!


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## Kat (17 April 2012)

Oh my god, never has a thread made me so grateful for the yard I am on! Not only do we have a loo (can't believe people pay to be on yards without a loo  ) but the YO supplies it with paper for clients (not posh paper but adequate). Going to kiss her next time I see her! We even have paper towels and soap!


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## D66 (17 April 2012)

Barbara should use some baler twine to tie her loo roll around her neck so she doesn't forget it.
But, if the rule is bring your own other people should know that any left in there isn't for everyone to use.


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## Copperpot (17 April 2012)

Our YO supplies logo roll. And soap and a towel! It's Waitrose loo tool too!!! :0


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## Copperpot (17 April 2012)

Roll I meant roll !!


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## Holly Hocks (17 April 2012)

Sounds like Barbara is a right old fart - fancy getting your knickers in a twist over such a wee thing!


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## Keen (17 April 2012)

martlin said:



			Or drown her in the loo perhaps?
		
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Lol!


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## FionaM12 (17 April 2012)

Holly Hocks said:



			Sounds like Barbara is a right old fart - fancy getting your knickers in a twist over such a wee thing!
		
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*sniggers* at the "wee".


I still think I'd be a little cross to find the empty packet dumped on the yard! It sounds like Barbara's overreacting, but sometimes there's a build up and history which causes that. Straws and camels' backs come to mind.


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## Hells Bells (17 April 2012)

Apologies to anyone on here that goes by the name of Barbara, but the frequency of the word 'Barbara' on this thread has resulted in me getting the giggles.


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## pixiebee (17 April 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			*sniggers* at the "wee".


I still think I'd be a little cross to find the empty packet dumped on the yard! It sounds like Barbara's overreacting, but sometimes there's a build up and history which causes that. Straws and camels' backs come to mind.
		
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exactly, sorry for the pun but it sounds like they have taken the pee out of her and this was the last straw.


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## Ibblebibble (17 April 2012)

hehehe, poor old barbara, i'll bet she's miffed as she got caught short with no loo roll and had forgotten her tena lady that day too  I can quite imagine a few of the liveries on the farm where i am to react like her though which is quite embarrassing to admit  I'm glad i'm in my own field with my own little loo in the caravan if i need it


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## FionaM12 (17 April 2012)

Kat said:



			(can't believe people pay to be on yards without a loo  ) !
		
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My yard's work in progress really. A new building is planned (partly built) which will have storage facilities, tack room and loo. We have a temporary tack room and not brilliant storage meanwhile, but I don't mind as it suits Mollie and me so well in other ways. 

If there was a bad atmosphere on our yard over loo rolls/wipes, I'd just go out and buy a load and some wipes for Barbara. Then I'd suggest we take it in turns to stock up, on the understanding supplies are _not_ taken from the loo for use on the yard.

I do rather suspect the players in this story don't have a lot going on in their lives if they're creating a drama over loo roll. 






Mind you, we clearly haven't either judging by the length of this thread!


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## Carefreegirl (17 April 2012)

No one has answered Fellewell's question yet - did Katie get placed ? 
We've got a toilet, loo roll, HOT running water and a proper towel..... 
The only time I've objected to the over use of loo roll was when I took a friend hunting and she wee'd in my lorry - drip dried ? Nope - used loo roll and then just left it on my horses side - nice


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## FionaM12 (17 April 2012)

carefreegirl said:



			No one has answered Fellewell's question yet - did Katie get placed ? 

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Yes they have:



mhorses said:



			no that horse never gets placed its a right old mule!!
		
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Who says it's a bitchy yard?


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## Pedantic (17 April 2012)

All sounds like a turd in a teacup to me.....


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## Carefreegirl (17 April 2012)

Oops missed that


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## cronkmooar (17 April 2012)

Pedantic said:



			All sounds like a turd in a teacup to me.....
		
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Now if someone did leave a turd in her teacup that would justify a bit of a moan


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## annaellie (17 April 2012)

Ha ha this made me giggle

Barbra and Katie should go on Jk show, you can be the voice of reason. Then a lie detector and DNA to see if Katie stole the loo role. They can go to mediation with the genius grahame  
Yard dilemma


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## Hells Bells (17 April 2012)

cronkmooar said:



			Now if someone did leave a turd in her teacup that would justify a bit of a moan

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Absolutely. Poor Barbara!


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## annaellie (17 April 2012)

ETA Yard dilemma sorted for now


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## Orson Cart (17 April 2012)

To be honest, I think it only seems common courtesy for Katie to replace Barbara's wipes and apologise to her for that incident. Taking someone's wipes - that you know aren't yours - to use on your horse is not on imo. 

Fair enough, you might swipe one to wipe your bits if you forget your roll, but that's totally different to deliberately using a whole pack on a horse. 

Stick a sign on the front of the loo door reminding people to take their loo roll in, and put another sign on the inside of the loo door reminding people to take their rolls back out with them. Problemo solved.


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## devilwoman (17 April 2012)

true dragon said:



			i know! i use the corner of my horses stable if im caught short.... and drip dry 

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Ditto


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## Black_Horse_White (17 April 2012)

How lucky are we at our yard, YO provides toilets rolls bleach and a clean towel for us


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## Parker79 (17 April 2012)

I cannot believe this post has now created 7 pages! and whats worse...I read them all 

I am so glad I am not at your livery yard! usually little things end up HUGE and the issue is probably not the loo roll...you may find she has had other things 'borrowed' too!

It used to drive me mad...but in this case I would just go and buy a mass of Tesco value rolls and leave them in the loo....really not worth the argument.

Also, when she starts bitching just try and say nothing, if you do not offer an ear she will soon stop coming.


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## 1Lucie (17 April 2012)

Jeeeeezzzzz how silly. Yes annoying but not that serious... think this is prob fairly normal at livery yards!!!

Ok, why not all put £1 in and buy a multipack... no more arguements!


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## gingerarab (17 April 2012)

I havnt read all the posts, but blimey the first page made me laugh so much


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## Wizzkid (17 April 2012)

Why am i reading this!! So funny!! Naughty bad people using loo roll you didnt buy....use your hand!


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## FionaM12 (17 April 2012)

Wizzkid said:



			bad people using loo roll you didnt buy....use your hand!

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Eeeeewwwww.


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## cambrica (17 April 2012)

LaurenBay said:



			Hahaha, this thread has brightened up my afternoon! I don't even have a tiolet at my yard, we have to squat! Could you not bring our own tissues up?
		
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LOL, don't you find you get silent stare from you horse though, mine never looks impressed.   Horse- Me-

This thread with Babs and Kate sounds a bit like the foot massage sketch in Pulp Fiction and we all know how that ends. I'd be tempted to plant some wipes - with a sprinkling of itching powder, you'd soon find the culprit


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## tallyho! (17 April 2012)

Oh Lordy.... Good luck


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## Moomin1 (17 April 2012)

I don't blame her for locking her bog roll up!!  I did exactly the same when a woman at my yard kept using it all and never replacing it or paying a penny out!  She was a well-off woman too with lots of cash to splash around - by her own admission!  I wouldn't have minded but nobody saw eye to eye with this woman or would speak to her because she had caused so much trouble - and yet she would still take it!


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## Hexx (17 April 2012)

I think you have coined a new phrase "I'm just going for a Barbara"!!!!!!


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## jellybean55 (17 April 2012)

total lurker here, this thread has cracked me right up  I'm with Barbs


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## Achinghips (17 April 2012)

Hexx said:



			I think you have coined a new phrase "I'm just going for a Barbara"!!!!!!
		
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BMSL


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## Natch (17 April 2012)

3 options suitable for making everyone realise its a daft situation:

1) buy ultra cheapy bog roll, wrap it up extravagently with a large bow/wrapping paper etc and put an anonymous gift tag on it saying " To everyone, Happy Belated Easter.". Repeat for silly occasions e.g. "To everyone, Happy Jubilee" "Happy Monday" etc.

2) Cut newspaper into squares, punch a hole in a corner, thread onto a bit of string and hang in the bathroom.

3) (My favourite) buy glow in the dark bog roll from amazon or play.com etc. about a fiver. Remove packaging, iIt gives away the secret!) and leave it in the bog for everyone to use. Husbands and boyfriends will soon start to question why the phantom loo roll users have a  glow in the dark bottom and bits... the glow in the dark covering rubs off Much embarassment and lols


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## PortwayPaddy (17 April 2012)

Leave a big roll of Izal "skiddy bum paper" in the loo and see how many people want to use that!

Always have one of those mini tissue packs in your pocket - Kleenex Balsam of course - so you are not subjected to said skiddy bum paper and watch the rolls of normal bog roll mount up!

We have toilets - paper provided, basins and showers so "loo wars" never erupt.

Paddy


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## Parker79 (17 April 2012)

OMG - 78 posts on this !!! how funny !!!


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## nativepony (18 April 2012)

Hehe this is so funny AND one of our chickens is called Barbara!!


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## FionaM12 (18 April 2012)

nativepony said:



			Hehe this is so funny AND one of our chickens is called Barbara!! 

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Barbara the chicken.


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## NoltonSeaShell (18 April 2012)

It does seem quite pathetic, however....

I think we are all the same over little things which we buy and then others use! The others must have known it was not their loo roll, wipes etc! So they should not have used, or asked before they used, and considering everyone needs to bring their own anyway they shouldn't have been caught short.


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## Guylian (18 April 2012)

You're lucky, the yard I used to go riding at had a separate men's and women's toilet, I've now been demoted to no toilet at all...but our yard is next to a pub...so I usually sneak in there  and get a cheeky drink while I'm at it..I won't tell if you don't.


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## Capriole (18 April 2012)

Guylian said:



			and get a cheeky drink while I'm at it..I won't tell if you don't.
		
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No harm in a cheeky drink as long as you dont get totally Barbara'd


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## Guylian (18 April 2012)

Capriole said:



			No harm in a cheeky drink as long as you dont get totally Barbara'd 

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LOL  there really needs to be a like button on this forum!


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## luckyoldme (18 April 2012)

................... You ve got a toilet?
Now thats posh


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## rockysmum (18 April 2012)

I haven't read all of it yet  

I feel sorry for Barbara, sharing a yard with these people.

Exactly what were they going to use if she had not happened to leave stuff in the loo  

Minging


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## smellsofhorse (18 April 2012)

I can sort of see her point, its her loo roll and unless she gives permission no one else should use it, even if she leaves it where she shouldnt.just stay out if the argument and be obvious that you use your own!


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## charlie76 (18 April 2012)

Do I win in the loo stakes? We have four Loos. Two for men and two for women with loo roll, soap and a hand dryer! We even have bleach, loo blues, sanitary bins and wait for it.......

A toilet brush!!!!!
All provided by the yard. 
So do I win?

I can also beat the pinching loo roll. Some of our liveries recently moved yars


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## charlie76 (18 April 2012)

Yards with no loo roll so they stop at ours on the way past a d pinch some!


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## mcnaughty (18 April 2012)

Why don't you all chip in a couple of quid a week or similar and buy loo roll, soap, wipes etc and then no one "wins"!

What if you are caught short and don't have your loo roll on you!  Bloody hell that is just nasty!


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## Pedantic (18 April 2012)

Wizzkid said:



			Why am i reading this!! So funny!! Naughty bad people using loo roll you didnt buy....use your hand!

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Is that you that writes your name in poo streak on toilet walls ?


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## Ibblebibble (18 April 2012)

lol i am so impressed this thread is still going whats funny is barbara has no idea that her and her toilet roll are now so famous


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## guido16 (18 April 2012)

Poor Barbara, not only does she have senile dementia and keeps forgetting to take her bog roll, put sly katie keeps nicking it!

If I was Babs, I would tell my cousin to chuck you all of the yard. That way she can safely leave her bog roll in the loo and spend as long as she wants in the dumper, confident in the knowledge she wont be caught out!

I am afraid the little word "troll" springs to mind here. But, hey ho, it is fun.


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

I think you should all put to & buy a locking metal tool box & bolt it to the loo wall. Fill with bog roll & padlock & give babs the keys. Result is a happy babby.


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## Gusbear (18 April 2012)

There once was a poor lady named Barbara
Whose claim to fame was her bog roll palaver
There were lots sniggers and snipes
re her stolen wet wipes
And now the forum is in big fits of laughter


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## Monkeymoo (18 April 2012)

Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

Gusbear-Pmsl.


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## FionaM12 (18 April 2012)

Monkeymoo said:



			Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!



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 Animal cruelty....


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## Capriole (18 April 2012)

Gusbear said:



			There once was a poor lady named Barbara
Whose claim to fame was her bog roll palaver
There were lots sniggers and snipes
re her stolen wet wipes
And now the forum is in big fits of laughter


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There was a young lady called Kate,
Whos horse was in bit of a state.
Doesnt buy her own stuff
which I think is tough.
So Barb's wet wipes
she swiped,
now the loo roll's her goal.

buying tissue is really an issue...


(Haha sorry, it doesnt scan very well, I did try though  )


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## Kat (18 April 2012)

charlie76 said:



			Do I win in the loo stakes? We have four Loos. Two for men and two for women with loo roll, soap and a hand dryer! We even have bleach, loo blues, sanitary bins and wait for it.......

A toilet brush!!!!!
All provided by the yard. 
So do I win?

I can also beat the pinching loo roll. Some of our liveries recently moved yars
		
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Yes you win, we only have one ladies and one gents. We have paper towels rather than a hand dryer. We do have loo roll, liquid soap, sanitary bins etc and a shower though.


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## Pedantic (18 April 2012)

Monkeymoo said:



			Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!



Click to expand...

So the dry pussy gets wet off the wet pussy, and the wet pussy becomes dry off the dry pussy, the visualization is mind boggling......


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## Fransurrey (18 April 2012)

annaellie said:



			Barbra and Katie should go on Jk show, you can be the voice of reason. Then a lie detector and DNA to see if Katie stole the loo role. They can go to mediation with the genius grahame  
Yard dilemma 

Click to expand...

Nonsense. This is clearly a job for Judge Judy. She'll put 'em right. Funny how things like this blow up. If the atmosphere is really bad, just buy her a pack of wet wipes (or ask Katie to) and a choccie bar for everyone. Maybe write a little rhyme for the back of the door. Make a cup of tea. Eat biscuits. Life is too short.


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## flyingfeet (18 April 2012)

Am I the only person worrying that if they were on a septic tank there are all these looneys putting baby wipes down the loo and they won't degrade

Not flushable - gah! 

If I were YO, I'd padlock the loo as they liveries couldn't be trusted with it...


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## debsg (18 April 2012)

Love this thread!! 
Think I'm going to show it to my YO, esp. Charlie76's post! 4 TOILETS!! And all the gubbins to go with it!! My YO promised us a toilet when we rented the yard. It is now 3 years later and the framework for a roof on an old hut is in place, that is as far as it got!
And this guy is a builder!
Meanwhile we pee in our stables in winter, and the surrounding woodland in summer. Drip dry. Problem arises when you need a no2. Have to dig a hole with a trowel, bury the offending item and bag up wet wipes (not Barbara's ) to take home. Lovely!
And did somebody say they have a SHOWER? Now that really is taking the piss!


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

What do you do when you need the loo in babs & kates stableyard? 
Pull down your drawers,
And break the loo roll laws, 
In babs & kates stableyard.
Pick up a leaf,
And wipe your underneath, 
In babs & kates, stableyard.
Pick up a spade, 
And bury what you made
In babs & kates, stableyard.
(to the same tune as the 'english country garden' version we used to sing as kids, or at least I did)


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## Sameru (18 April 2012)

I just read the whole thread and nearly keeled over laughing!! Loo Roll police - Run for your life!!


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## Ibblebibble (18 April 2012)

littlelegs said:



			What do you do when you need the loo in babs & kates stableyard? 
Pull down your drawers,
And break the loo roll laws, 
In babs & kates stableyard.
Pick up a leaf,
And wipe your underneath, 
In babs & kates, stableyard.
Pick up a spade, 
And bury what you made
In babs & kates, stableyard.
(to the same tune as the 'english country garden' version we used to sing as kids, or at least I did)
		
Click to expand...

pmsl that tune is going to be running through my head for the rest of the day  now!


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## Capriole (18 April 2012)

Monkeymoo said:



			Sorry can't quote but "what about having a loo roll kitty"...

Did anyone else have the same image as me of using a fluffy ikkle kitten to wipe your foof?

No? Just me then!



Click to expand...


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

URGH!!! Just imagining all those soggy JODS and smelly saddles with all you drip driers....EWWWWWWW!


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## Archangel (18 April 2012)

Am I the only one who would not use baby wipes after going to the loo?  All the chemically stuff would upset the delicate balance in a delicate area


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## DougalJ (18 April 2012)

kerrieberry2 said:



			You have a loo?  that would be nice haha
		
Click to expand...

My exact thoughts too - you have a loo - lucky you! LOL


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## Hells Bells (18 April 2012)

I saw some of you had been doing some poems etc...so I had a *ahem* 'crack' at it myself....


Kate was a lady in need
Stole wet wipes for her horse out of greed 
Babs thought it a farce
What would she use on her arse?
Its not like the horse even peed!

 If only Babs knew what a commotion she has caused


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## NooNoo59 (18 April 2012)

God knows how she would cope if something really bad happened! Get a life I would say and yes blue and white from Tescos, buy in bulk, problem solved.  ITS TOILET PAPER NOT POUND NOTES!!


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

vanessa roberts said:



			God knows how she would cope if something really bad happened! Get a life I would say and yes blue and white from Tescos, buy in bulk, problem solved.  ITS TOILET PAPER NOT POUND NOTES!!
		
Click to expand...

Everyone over to Vanessas to use her products, she doesnt mind!,


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

I don't want to use vanessas loo roll,
Cos its cheap & will chafe my poor hole,
Instead for babs I will wait,
And use her wipes just like Kate!


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## NooNoo59 (18 April 2012)

xxMozlarxx said:



			Everyone over to Vanessas to use her products, she doesnt mind!,

Click to expand...

Only my toilet paper, oh and the odd teabag! x


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## Capriole (18 April 2012)

littlelegs said:



			I don't want to use vanessas loo roll,
Cos its cheap & will chafe my poor hole,
Instead for babs I will wait,
And use her wipes just like Kate!
		
Click to expand...


Charmin'


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

vanessa roberts said:



			Only my toilet paper, oh and the odd teabag! x
		
Click to expand...

It's your wet wipes I'm after for me ponio..


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## Hoofprints in the Snow (18 April 2012)

My favourite) buy glow in the dark bog roll from amazon or play.com etc. about a fiver. Remove packaging, iIt gives away the secret!) and leave it in the bog for everyone to use. Husbands and boyfriends will soon start to question why the phantom loo roll users have a glow in the dark bottom and bits... the glow in the dark covering rubs off Much embarassment and lols  
__________________
PMSL  Got to try this one!!!!


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## Fellewell (18 April 2012)

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Poor old Babs can't go to the lavatory,
Her wipes have been used by a county show wannabe
To flatten his fly away hair.

The farmer decides he must put in a portaloo
Everyone knows that is all yards will ever do
Contortionists struggle to use these to have a poo
Unless they are terribly thin,

Reaching behind is a definite chore
You have to lean forward and open the door.
This will make liveries feel insecure,
Exposure is not what they want
(after all we're not foreign)

So when you're bemoaning the loss of your baggage
Summon a smile and remember this adage
Does a discarded item stay just where it should?
Or do bogroll-less liveries poop in the wood?


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

Mwuahahahahahah @ Fellewell...really did LOL, dogs looking at me ..Epic!!


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## Fellewell (18 April 2012)

xxMozlarxx said:



			Mwuahahahahahah @ Fellewell...really did LOL, dogs looking at me ..Epic!! 

Click to expand...

Aww, thanks


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## Achinghips (18 April 2012)

charlie76 said:



			Do I win in the loo stakes? We have four Loos. Two for men and two for women with loo roll, soap and a hand dryer! We even have bleach, loo blues, sanitary bins and wait for it.......

A toilet brush!!!!!
All provided by the yard. 
So do I win?

I can also beat the pinching loo roll. Some of our liveries recently moved yars
		
Click to expand...




Are you taking the Barbara?

OP, use this!!!


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## mhorses (18 April 2012)

Did not think this thread would cause so much intrest.

Barbara is now famous! 

Somebody said they wanted to know more about Barbara well, she is in her late 50's, has bleached blonde hair, over weight, dresses very mumsy (i.e. joules sweatshirts with a pull in tie round the waist), her over-the-top nail art and accent suggest that she is originally from essex, she drives a white fiat punto and owns a cob called Trooper! and loves loo roll!


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## Capriole (18 April 2012)

wow, I think youve got a nerve saying livery yards are the bitchiest places on earth when you come out with stuff like that yourself!


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## Guylian (18 April 2012)

I hope you guys ask your horses permission before using their loo


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

How hilarious would it be if Barbara was a regular user who comes across this thread.


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (18 April 2012)

mhorses said:



			Did not think this thread would cause so much intrest.

Barbara is now famous! 

Somebody said they wanted to know more about Barbara well, she is in her late 50's, has bleached blonde hair, over weight, dresses very mumsy (i.e. joules sweatshirts with a pull in tie round the waist), her over-the-top nail art and accent suggest that she is originally from essex, she drives a white fiat punto and owns a cob called Trooper! and loves loo roll!
		
Click to expand...

Um hun think you need to exercise caution if identifying people on here ......... sorry to be boring.

Personally I think you all need to grow up! Everyone either bring their own bog-roll OR have a yard kitty and all subscribe to it, and then take stuff like coffee/tea/milk & bog-rolls  out of that.

FFS!!!


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## mhorses (18 April 2012)

Well Barbara won't mind she likes to be at the centre of attention and cause a scene!!


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## Parker79 (18 April 2012)

Pretty certain she will mind! I will also be boring and say that you have posted to much information to identify her...I would ask for that info to be removed.  Your opinions on Barbara are one thing and having a rant on here is something we have all done...but please take of the information that will identify her...reallly not fair even if she is annoying in your opinion


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## tiger_buzz (18 April 2012)

I think taking the wipes is a bit out of order! But loo roll.. get over it haha! 

I'd keep well out of it if it was me and provide my own supply of whatever I wanted to use.

Also.. too far to post so many personal details about babs! Your yard sounds incredibly bitchy and I don't blame babs for getting angry if you behave to her like you have on this thread!


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

The thread has made me laugh, good fun, however its now gone too far with the personal comments.


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## mhorses (18 April 2012)

This is a warning to anybody who posts personal info about somebody on this. Barbara did read what I wrote on this forum this afternoon. Awkwardly bumped into her in the yard and had a bit of a sheepish conversation we both agreed we had been over the top! Barbara about toilet roll and me calling her over the top and overweight etc. however we soon had a fit of giggles when I left a 48 andrex super soft aloe Vera pack with a bar of galaxy chocolate at tea time.
And scoffed it over our flasks of tea!

We both apologised and I would now like to say 

Hello Barbara welcome to h&h forums If you are reading this i am glad we are on good terms now! 
Millie x


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## Gusbear (18 April 2012)

Welcome to the madhouse Barbara. 
Hopefully my little ditty didn't offend you too much.
(I bury my head in shame).
All in good fun, I assure you.


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## Alec Swan (18 April 2012)

I really can't be arsed to read through all of the posts,  and this point may very well have already been covered,  BUT;

All yard conflicts are the same,  they're both Major,  and Pathetic. 

Alec.


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## proudwilliam (18 April 2012)

In our county we are still in the dark ages anc cut up newspaper to use. Solves two problems.


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## DragonSlayer (18 April 2012)

mhorses said:



			This is a warning to anybody who posts personal info about somebody on this. Barbara did read what I wrote on this forum this afternoon. Awkwardly bumped into her in the yard and had a bit of a sheepish conversation we both agreed we had been over the top! Barbara about toilet roll and me calling her over the top and overweight etc. however we soon had a fit of giggles when I left a 48 andrex super soft aloe Vera pack with a bar of galaxy chocolate at tea time.
And scoffed it over our flasks of tea!

We both apologised and I would now like to say 

Hello Barbara welcome to h&h forums If you are reading this i am glad we are on good terms now! 
Millie x
		
Click to expand...

My word!

This happens so many times!!

Glad you are talking about it....and hello Barbara...


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## Hells Bells (18 April 2012)

Alec Swan said:



			All yard conflicts are the same,  they're both Major,  and Pathetic. 

Alec.
		
Click to expand...

Good point 

This one really did make me laugh though. 

Hello Barbara, apologies for the limerick  x


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## Hells Bells (18 April 2012)

Apologies also to the rest of the forum, who will see this thread has bumped up and might be hoping for another twist in the saga...no such luck I'm afraid


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## puffthemagicpony (18 April 2012)

atleast you have a toilet :L i have to pee in my stable


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## FionaM12 (18 April 2012)

mhorses said:



			This is a warning to anybody who posts personal info about somebody on this. Barbara did read what I wrote on this forum this afternoon. Awkwardly bumped into her in the yard and had a bit of a sheepish conversation we both agreed we had been over the top! Barbara about toilet roll and me calling her over the top and overweight etc. however we soon had a fit of giggles when I left a 48 andrex super soft aloe Vera pack with a bar of galaxy chocolate at tea time.
And scoffed it over our flasks of tea!

We both apologised and I would now like to say 

Hello Barbara welcome to h&h forums If you are reading this i am glad we are on good terms now! 
Millie x
		
Click to expand...

Barbara is an incredibly good sport to take it like that. mhorses you're lucky it didn't start a long-running feud! I do hope you've learnt a lesson and realise how lucky you are it's worked out okay.


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## Littlelegs (18 April 2012)

I agree fiona. If I was Barbara I wouldn't be pleased to find this thread.


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## xxMozlarxx (18 April 2012)

Alec Swan said:



			I really can't be arsed to read through all of the posts,  and this point may very well have already been covered,  BUT;

All yard conflicts are the same,  they're both Major,  and Pathetic. 

Alec.
		
Click to expand...

Ummmm..not where property is stolen or damaged or horses harmed they aren't !


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## MagicMelon (19 April 2012)

What a bizarre rule anyway - to take your own toilet roll.  Could you not just do it so everyone puts in a £1 a week or something towards buying some everyone uses?!


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## Fellewell (19 April 2012)

Ah good, a happy ending for Barbara et al (no pun intended)


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## Sooty (19 April 2012)

Fellewell said:



			Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Poor old Babs can't go to the lavatory,
Her wipes have been used by a county show wannabe
To flatten his fly away hair.

The farmer decides he must put in a portaloo
Everyone knows that is all yards will ever do
Contortionists struggle to use these to have a poo
Unless they are terribly thin,

Reaching behind is a definite chore
You have to lean forward and open the door.
This will make liveries feel insecure,
Exposure is not what they want
(after all we're not foreign)

So when you're bemoaning the loss of your baggage
Summon a smile and remember this adage
Does a discarded item stay just where it should?
Or do bogroll-less liveries poop in the wood?
		
Click to expand...

Possibly the funniest thing I have read on here ever, and that is saying a lot! Fellewell I do hope we are friends on Facebook, but I fear not as your username on here is not familiar. Your wit is exceptional!


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## mhorses (19 April 2012)

Yup we are all on good terms now this has gave us something to laugh about!! 

The famous loo roll thread.


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## Fellewell (20 April 2012)

Sooty said:



			Possibly the funniest thing I have read on here ever, and that is saying a lot! Fellewell I do hope we are friends on Facebook, but I fear not as your username on here is not familiar. Your wit is exceptional!

Click to expand...

hey Sooty, I can't tell you what it means to have my gift for toilet humour acknowledged in such a way. You are an officer and a gent and.....what's that Sooty?......you owe me money?..Well, how much?......What's that you said? 20 pounds?.....And my cheque is in the post?

I thought it was too good to be true

I'm off to talk to Sue about this. She'll get to the bottom of all this, which is ironic when you think about it (seeing as she hasn't got one)

Are you sure you meant 'wit' and not 'twit'


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## Nollaig Shona (20 April 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			Barbara is an incredibly good sport to take it like that. mhorses you're lucky it didn't start a long-running feud! I do hope you've learnt a lesson and realise how lucky you are it's worked out okay. 

Click to expand...

Echo this.

I've seen similar threads result in a real life fist fight (or worse).  You got off lucky there OP, I hope you've learned your lesson.  The situation might have seemed pathetic or trivial to you (and others), but naming, shaming and describing the woman you are mocking was completely out of order.

god be with the days when you'd be banned permanently from a board for using someone's real name in a post.


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## xxMozlarxx (20 April 2012)

If indeed it is real, or her real name


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## FionaM12 (20 April 2012)

xxMozlarxx said:



			If indeed it is real, or her real name 

Click to expand...

True. We can never be sure anything is "real" on t'internet.


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## Luci07 (20 April 2012)

But a lot of rows start over something really small. I loved this thread...very witty puns...! Agree shouldn't have gone onto such a description of Barbara but hey, when I manage to always behave perfectly I will let you all know and then expect the same!


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## xxMozlarxx (20 April 2012)

A fun thread though


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## Capriole (20 April 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			True. We can never be sure anything is "real" on t'internet. 

Click to expand...

I agree, Im not convinced at all but Im not sure of which bit Im not convinced about... its between this being a wind up , or do I believe Barbara has really read this thread and its now all happy families at the yard


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## connieconvert (20 April 2012)

This thread sums up livery yards and their clients in a nutshell.


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## KellyJoArnold (12 December 2012)

This has reminded me, I need to buy loo roll...


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## DragonSlayer (12 December 2012)

Hahaha!


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## mandwhy (12 December 2012)

Oh wow that poem was exceptional.

My first thought was of concern for blockages with all those baby wipes!


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## 3Beasties (12 December 2012)

Pmsl at this thread! 

I am soooo glad that I can last all day without going to the toilet!


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## Pinkvboots (12 December 2012)

Some people seriously need to get a life, loosing it over toilet roll please, cant you just take it in turns to buy or heaven forbid drip dry, that is the most pathetic thing I have heard in a while.


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## weebarney (12 December 2012)

mhorses said:



			This may sound ridiculous to some people but my livery yard has had the mother of all arguements over loo roll. Our little loo at the yard has a sign at the door please bring your Own loo roll as it is a DIY yard beside a farm an there is no assigned ym just the farmer. So anyway A girl called Barbara bring baby wipes with her to the yard and she left them in the toilet a month ago by accident and Katy went in an hour or so later and used some wipes and brought the rest to spruce her horse up before a show that afternoon. Babara realised when she got back and saw the empty Packet of wipes on the floor outside Katy's stable. She was furious and bitched to me and others for days about it and even went as far to calling her a thief! 
Anyway a month has passed and Barbara has stopped bringing baby wipes and now brings "andrex extra soft shell" or something and locks it in her tack box as if it is jewlery. She did exactly the same thing and left it in the loo and went back the next afternoon to find it all used!

She has hit the roof! Threatened to get us kicked off the yard even though we dont know who used it. Barbara is cousins with the farmer and can be minipulative. We all live the yard apart from barbara. Any advice! It is so immature.
		
Click to expand...

Tell babs she shouldnt be putting baby wipes down the bog!


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## Shadow the Reindeer (12 December 2012)

Is this thread for real?  Maybe Barbara suffers from the squits and only the best can keep the sting away? Maybe Katie thought they'd look better on her horse's butt? Oh and by the way, are these real names or fake?


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## SaharaS (12 December 2012)

ok..I have the solution to end all solutions! 

Take a leaf from securicors book..what do they do to ensure cases of money can be less stealable? the make them explode coloured dye everywhere. SIMPLES!!! You need to dye the loo roll and so who ever has used it will have a blue *ss!

On the other hand I think you should all consider yourselves lucky...I recently had a text alert from horse watch to say that some porta loos had been stolen.. and that evidence showed that they had proceeded , full, in a particular direction! Imagine if you all buy loo roll/wipes & get there & someone has stolen the loo!!!


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## Toast (12 December 2012)

Guys, this thread is months old


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## mandwhy (12 December 2012)

M was frustrated by a lavatory saga,
Whilst Barbs warmed her wet wipes at home by the Aga,
The farmer sighed and got ready to plunge, Katy's horse looked a state like a turd on the lunge, 
Quietly she tiptoes and deftly she swipes, and discards the packet of Babs's wet wipes,
Beware and be cautious your words will be found, when you tell on your neighbours there'll be trouble abound,
But Barb was a good sport not soured by the caper, friendship was saved by superior paper...


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## mandwhy (12 December 2012)

Haha Toast, I knew of the legend but had yet to see the thread, mightily amused I am too.


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## Toast (12 December 2012)

Ah it was a good un in its time!


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## Shadow the Reindeer (13 December 2012)

Toast said:



			Guys, this thread is months old 

Click to expand...

Might be old Toast, but it's a good giggle after a hard days work


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## Ahrena (13 December 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			That's what I was thinking.  We wee in stables.  Our own horses' stables, of course. We have _some_ class. 



I do agree it's pretty outragious to nick someone's wipes from the loo and use them all on your horse, _then_ dump the empty pack outside the stable!  She should replace them, and apologize.
		
Click to expand...

Lol only read up to here but it reminded me of when I worked at an eventing yard, and I caught a new groom (male) peeing in one of the stables I muck out...it was OPPOSITE the toilet! I was furious!

Same guy also hid the only knife and fork from the kitchen (yard cutlery, not his) as he said it was the only way he could ensure he had clean stuff. Infurtiating considering the other 2 grooms, including myself ALWAYS washed up after ourselves.


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## Burmilla (13 December 2012)

Barbara is phoning her solicitor re starting an action for slander ( or is it libel?) Start saving out of the loo roll fund . . .


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## Spyda (13 December 2012)

Capriole said:



			ok, Barbara needs to stop leaving things in the bathroom if she doesnt want random people using them.  If someone has forgotten paper they will use whats there, rightly or wrongly.

Katie needs to buy her own wet wipes if she wants to clean up her horse. And to stop leaving litter on the floor outside stables.
		
Click to expand...

This!

Plus, if B keeps using baby wipes as toilet paper you guys wont have a useable toilet for much longer! It'll get blocked and then ANOTHER arguement will ensue.


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## Patterdale (4 March 2013)

Well I still can't believe that Black_Horse_White's YO makes them use bleach for their toileting adventures


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## Wiz201 (4 March 2013)

Something I've learned at work is that nothing is safe unless I make the effort to lock it away. I've had a newspaper and a plate completely disappear even though they had only appeared the same day in the morning. Yes I moaned about it but I just carried on.


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## Luci07 (4 March 2013)

Can't believe this thread has been resurrected!


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## ebonyallen (4 March 2013)

What we do as in the same situation is that every one brings their own. I just keep a loo roll in the boot of my car. Trouble is if you leave things in the loo people will use them, so as said already get together and buy a bulk amount of rolls, which should stop Bogrollgate.


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## Wiz201 (4 March 2013)

Luci07 said:



			Can't believe this thread has been resurrected!
		
Click to expand...

Didn't realise it was an old thread


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## Archangel (4 March 2013)

Wiz201 said:



			Didn't realise it was an old thread

Click to expand...

Neither did I until I found my own reply 

Still funny second time round though


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## Orls (4 March 2013)

Wow ... Barbara needs to get a life. I'm kinda feeling sorry for her, she must be pretty hard up if she's struggling to afford to replace used baby wipes/loo roll ....


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## Orls (4 March 2013)

Oh hang on ... This is an old thread? Why has it popped back up again?!


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