# Carry On Eventing.  Or not.



## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

I've been told off.  Husband says I'm too negative, that my instinct is to put myself down at every opportunity.  Says it's not conducive to postive riding.  Says I need to project a better perception of myself.  Need to fake it 'til I make it and say I'm great until I believe it and until it comes true.  With this in mind, I'd just like to write a little report about how utterly wonderful I am....

My dad and my aunt came to watch at South of England.  I left my car pass on the gate for my dad to pick up, to avoid being charged the entry fee.  "An oldish guy" I said to the gate steward, realising as I did that the steward himself could well be described as "oldish".  Sensing my faux pas, my husband chimed in "Not that old!" he protested.  "No", I said, trying to dig my way out.  "Just got grey hair", clocking, as I spoke, the gate steward's grey hair.  "But not old", I backtracked, hastily, "Maybe 65", I continued, noting that the gate steward was a similar age.  "Anyway!" I squeaked "He drives a terrible beaten-up Ford!  Ugly old man in a beaten-up Ford!" Then I drove off, wishing that the ground would swallow me up.  (Just to save the world from my wonderfulness.) 

When the ugly old man with grey hair in the beaten-up Ford did arrive, I knew he would notice, knew he'd ask and knew he'd blame me.  Sure enough, his eyes flicked round my trailer.  "Viv," he said, his voice saturated with undertones of accusation, "where is the light-housing on your rear light set?"  Now, as discussed, I am wonderful.  I have never, not once, reversed my trailer into anything.  I have never got it stuck in a busy car park and had to run round asking strangers to move their cars to let me out, never had a near miss at a low bridge and had to back up the road, blocking both lanes of traffic.  Never bashed into gateways, walls, stables, or anything else, for that matter.  I am too wonderful to do anything like that.  So I knew my dad would understand.  "Well," I began.  "I was just doing a little quiet reversing the other day, when a large gate appeared on the horizon.  Intimidating thing it was, big and black.  No sooner had it hove into view, than it spotted my poor trailer, ran full-chat towards the rear light housing of which you speak, bashed the defenceless thing into oblivion and belted off, before I could take its contact details or extract an apology."

And with that, I hopped on Vito and rode off to the dressage, leaving my dad to wonder at my wonderfulness.  My dad fished about in my grooming kit and, using those staple tools of every self-respecting frustrated mechanic, the dandy brush and the plaiting bands, managed to switch the two light housings over, so that at least my right indicator was now working.  The dressage was amazing for 37 (because I am great) the showjumping was so-so (because I am fantastic) with one down and the XC was clear in the time (because I am the best thing since sliced bread) and we weren't placed (because I am too good for that). 

Pic:  http://s1362.photobucket.com/user/V...g.html?&_suid=1398353286972019263865550031145 

On we went to Hambledon.  The dressage was terrible (I was marked down for being perfect) for 42, the showjumping was clear (not because my horse is a showjumper and has jumped far bigger and would generally jump clear irrespective of what I did, but because I am brilliant).  And then it was time for the XC.  Fences 4 and 5 were easy.  Simple things.  But they were on an angle, with a dip in between them.  Here I made an unforgiveable error and, if anyone replies to say it's Not As Bad As All That, then I shall be forced to rage in silence and put you on user ignore.  And that should be enough to strike fear into the hearts of even the most positive proponents of "It's Not As Bad As All That."  As I approached, I realised that I didn't have my line.  At All.  I was also, I realised as I jumped the first, going too fast.  Vito, on no line at all and going too quickly, whipped out left.  I fell off into the fence.  (Wonderfully.)

This now raised an interesting question.  My shoulders (like the rest of me) are totally useless.  They dislocate and fall out at every opportunity (because they are amazing).  Putting my arms on the saddle to re-mount or to have a leg-up, whilst wearing my Exo cage, would have caused one or both of them to fall out.  I am also (in a wonderful way) completely lacking in anything resembling co-ordination.  I do not dare to accept leg-ups at the best of times, because they result in my floundering about on one leg, with my face in the saddle flap, whilst the poor giver of the leg-up counts fruitlessly to three.  I dragged Vito over to fence 5.  Jumped on top of it.  Hopped from there into the saddle and rode off (superbly).  

There were a few bits on the track - some bits round the water, some big steps down, and a corner.  Now, this corner, rather like my thighs, was not terribly skinny.  For which I was grateful.  I tapped him on approach, and over we popped. On I went, to the skinny (unlike my thighs, genuinely skinny) before the water.  I flapped.  Panicked.  Chased.  And he ran past it.  I popped the alternative and considered retiring.  I'd managed to clock up two stops and a fall and this was bleak indeed.  No, I thought, there are still some things that he can learn from.  More steps, more skinnies and half-coffin.  So on I went, and home we came, it was sickeningly disappointing and I am Never Eventing Again.  (Because I'm too great.)


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## rotters13 (24 April 2014)

Well... has to go better next time! 

Love the report as always; I had my first ever decent run at Hambleden (it's actually due to your recommendation of the chimp book! So big thank you to you!)  come back in 2 weeks for the UA?


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## Farcical1 (24 April 2014)

So, where are you off to next then  ?
I think we all have days when our wonderful-ness rides off in to the distance without us. And it's always when everyone has come to cheer you and that elusive wonderful-ness on!
I was most chuffed with myself with managing a clear round at a one foot three hunter trial, so what you're jumping look very wonderful to me. 
Grab that awesomeness round the ankle and drag it round the xc with you next time!


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## suzi (24 April 2014)

I saw your results and a couple of FB photos (inc the one of you standing on the fence) and have been waiting for your report.

Having never competed at anywhere near the level you are I'm really in no position to comment other than to say that I totally empathise with your situation.

I have been there before and (if I am honest with myself) heading that way again but not totally ready to give up yet......and it's the S****iest place to be.

I do hugely admire your ability to write with a humerous slant though - I just don't know that I could!

But I'm not sure I believe that you won't be eventing again...


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## Diddleydoo (24 April 2014)

You are wonderful.  Nobody gets where you have without being wonderful.

Keep up the good work and it will come together.


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## leflynn (24 April 2014)

Have to carry on or we'll all be missing out on some top drawer tea spitting onto keyboard reports!  

Get OH/groom/helper type to get a cattle prod and zap you with it when negativity flows? Thats my best answer as I am my own worse critic at the bottom of the ladder and not at your dizzy heights   Failing that you can borrow my OH who tuts at me when I say I am rubbish then proceeds to tell me I am brilliant (I'm not)?  He just needs an occasional beer and as many jelly tots as you can throw at him and he'll chant your success at you


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## blood_magik (24 April 2014)

Brilliant report. 

I'm looking forwards to the next one already.


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## PorkChop (24 April 2014)

But we would have to miss out on your wonderfulness if you stopped, you cannot deprive us of that surely!

You jumped the corner with consumate ease - yay 

Look forward to the next report


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## gunnergundog (24 April 2014)

OK....put me on ignore, I'm really too old to care a flying fig as to who likes or dislikes me.  HOWEVER, I have been in a similar position to you in the far distant past.....with an experienced horse (SJ) that I managed to screw up.........temporarily.  My solution, swallow any remaining pride (I didn't have any!), get a pro to compete said horse to get established at whatever level, intersperse your rides with his/hers plus lessons and continue.  Repeat every time you want to go up a level.

I was working full-time in a stressful job, travelling extensively -EMEA and NA alternate weeks.  There ARE limits to what one can do.........I also didn't have the distraction of a young child! 

Get your faith and confidence back in yourself and your horse.......faking it is okay to a certain degree, but not as it comes over in your first post here!    Maybe I've read you wrong, in which case.....apologies.


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## khalswitz (24 April 2014)

Know the feeling - my horse seems to refuse MORE and MORE and it is because I continually LOOK DOWN AND DROP MY HANDS. I have a mental block on it now. Considering he jumps courses of 85-90 at home, and jumped smallish, not full-up and fillery 80's last summer, we now struggle to get round a 60 without either stops or stupid deer leaping, either often causing me to fall off. 

I call it a bad patch. Something's got to change eventually - either all the lessons and practice pay off, or I fall off one too many times and decide to stick to what he enjoys (dressage).  But if I haven't quite given up on event I don't think you should either H2T!!


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## Darremi (24 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			I've been told off.  Husband says I'm too negative, that my instinct is to put myself down at every opportunity.  Says it's not conducive to postive riding.  Says I need to project a better perception of myself.  Need to fake it 'til I make it and say I'm great until I believe it and until it comes true.  With this in mind, I'd just like to write a little report about how utterly wonderful I am....

My dad and my aunt came to watch at South of England.  I left my car pass on the gate for my dad to pick up, to avoid being charged the entry fee.  "An oldish guy" I said to the gate steward, realising as I did that the steward himself could well be described as "oldish".  Sensing my faux pas, my husband chimed in "Not that old!" he protested.  "No", I said, trying to dig my way out.  "Just got grey hair", clocking, as I spoke, the gate steward's grey hair.  "But not old", I backtracked, hastily, "Maybe 65", I continued, noting that the gate steward was a similar age.  "Anyway!" I squeaked "He drives a terrible beaten-up Ford!  Ugly old man in a beaten-up Ford!" Then I drove off, wishing that the ground would swallow me up.  (Just to save the world from my wonderfulness.) 

When the ugly old man with grey hair in the beaten-up Ford did arrive, I knew he would notice, knew he'd ask and knew he'd blame me.  Sure enough, his eyes flicked round my trailer.  "Viv," he said, his voice saturated with undertones of accusation, "where is the light-housing on your rear light set?"  Now, as discussed, I am wonderful.  I have never, not once, reversed my trailer into anything.  I have never got it stuck in a busy car park and had to run round asking strangers to move their cars to let me out, never had a near miss at a low bridge and had to back up the road, blocking both lanes of traffic.  Never bashed into gateways, walls, stables, or anything else, for that matter.  I am too wonderful to do anything like that.  So I knew my dad would understand.  "Well," I began.  "I was just doing a little quiet reversing the other day, when a large gate appeared on the horizon.  Intimidating thing it was, big and black.  No sooner had it hove into view, than it spotted my poor trailer, ran full-chat towards the rear light housing of which you speak, bashed the defenceless thing into oblivion and belted off, before I could take its contact details or extract an apology."

And with that, I hopped on Vito and rode off to the dressage, leaving my dad to wonder at my wonderfulness.  My dad fished about in my grooming kit and, using those staple tools of every self-respecting frustrated mechanic, the dandy brush and the plaiting bands, managed to switch the two light housings over, so that at least my right indicator was now working.  The dressage was amazing for 37 (because I am great) the showjumping was so-so (because I am fantastic) with one down and the XC was clear in the time (because I am the best thing since sliced bread) and we weren't placed (because I am too good for that). 

Pic:  http://s1362.photobucket.com/user/V...g.html?&_suid=1398353286972019263865550031145 

On we went to Hambledon.  The dressage was terrible (I was marked down for being perfect) for 42, the showjumping was clear (not because my horse is a showjumper and has jumped far bigger and would generally jump clear irrespective of what I did, but because I am brilliant).  And then it was time for the XC.  Fences 4 and 5 were easy.  Simple things.  But they were on an angle, with a dip in between them.  Here I made an unforgiveable error and, if anyone replies to say it's Not As Bad As All That, then I shall be forced to rage in silence and put you on user ignore.  And that should be enough to strike fear into the hearts of even the most positive proponents of "It's Not As Bad As All That."  As I approached, I realised that I didn't have my line.  At All.  I was also, I realised as I jumped the first, going too fast.  Vito, on no line at all and going too quickly, whipped out left.  I fell off into the fence.  (Wonderfully.)

This now raised an interesting question.  My shoulders (like the rest of me) are totally useless.  They dislocate and fall out at every opportunity (because they are amazing).  Putting my arms on the saddle to re-mount or to have a leg-up, whilst wearing my Exo cage, would have caused one or both of them to fall out.  I am also (in a wonderful way) completely lacking in anything resembling co-ordination.  I do not dare to accept leg-ups at the best of times, because they result in my floundering about on one leg, with my face in the saddle flap, whilst the poor giver of the leg-up counts fruitlessly to three.  I dragged Vito over to fence 5.  Jumped on top of it.  Hopped from there into the saddle and rode off (superbly).  

There were a few bits on the track - some bits round the water, some big steps down, and a corner.  Now, this corner, rather like my thighs, was not terribly skinny.  For which I was grateful.  I tapped him on approach, and over we popped. On I went, to the skinny (unlike my thighs, genuinely skinny) before the water.  I flapped.  Panicked.  Chased.  And he ran past it.  I popped the alternative and considered retiring.  I'd managed to clock up two stops and a fall and this was bleak indeed.  No, I thought, there are still some things that he can learn from.  More steps, more skinnies and half-coffin.  So on I went, and home we came, it was sickeningly disappointing and I am Never Eventing Again.  (Because I'm too great.)
		
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I totally felt like this after Burnham where my horse did his first CIC2*. Having had a fantastic ride through basically all the tricky fences I messed up near the end on the XC and normally we are great at that. 

As I was leading my horse back from the XC trying to stop myself from crying and contemplating all the hassle of what I would do with my horse if I gave up I realised that it is times like these that make us appreciate the good times .

Next time out you need to take the XC steady and get a clear round on the board. Take a long route or two if necessary to get your confidence back. 

In the meantime go XC schooling or set up makeshift skinnies in the school. This will really help the horse to lock-on.


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

rotters13 said:



			Well... has to go better next time! 

Love the report as always; I had my first ever decent run at Hambleden (it's actually due to your recommendation of the chimp book! So big thank you to you!)  come back in 2 weeks for the UA?
		
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Glad you liked the book!  



Farcical1 said:



			So, where are you off to next then  ?
I think we all have days when our wonderful-ness rides off in to the distance without us. And it's always when everyone has come to cheer you and that elusive wonderful-ness on!
I was most chuffed with myself with managing a clear round at a one foot three hunter trial, so what you're jumping look very wonderful to me. 
Grab that awesomeness round the ankle and drag it round the xc with you next time!
		
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Hey, does awesomeness have ankles?  Does it also have shoulders?  In that case, can I have one?  



suzi said:



			I saw your results and a couple of FB photos (inc the one of you standing on the fence) and have been waiting for your report.

Having never competed at anywhere near the level you are I'm really in no position to comment other than to say that I totally empathise with your situation.

I have been there before and (if I am honest with myself) heading that way again but not totally ready to give up yet......and it's the S****iest place to be.

I do hugely admire your ability to write with a humerous slant though - I just don't know that I could!

But I'm not sure I believe that you won't be eventing again...
		
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Oh, apparently I shouldn't post up FB pics of me falling off.  Highlights the negatives.  



Diddleydoo said:



			You are wonderful.  Nobody gets where you have without being wonderful.

Keep up the good work and it will come together.
		
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Bah.  I'm going to put you on user ignore!



leflynn said:



			Have to carry on or we'll all be missing out on some top drawer tea spitting onto keyboard reports!  

Get OH/groom/helper type to get a cattle prod and zap you with it when negativity flows? Thats my best answer as I am my own worse critic at the bottom of the ladder and not at your dizzy heights   Failing that you can borrow my OH who tuts at me when I say I am rubbish then proceeds to tell me I am brilliant (I'm not)?  He just needs an occasional beer and as many jelly tots as you can throw at him and he'll chant your success at you 

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Interesting.... That's a good idea!



blood_magik said:



			Brilliant report. 

I'm looking forwards to the next one already. 

Click to expand...

No next one.  Can't, shan't, won't, don't want to.  



LJR said:



			But we would have to miss out on your wonderfulness if you stopped, you cannot deprive us of that surely!

You jumped the corner with consumate ease - yay 

Look forward to the next report 

Click to expand...

Harrumph.  That's as eloquent as I can get.  Harrumph.  



gunnergundog said:



			OK....put me on ignore, I'm really too old to care a flying fig as to who likes or dislikes me.  HOWEVER, I have been in a similar position to you in the far distant past.....with an experienced horse (SJ) that I managed to screw up.........temporarily.  My solution, swallow any remaining pride (I didn't have any!), get a pro to compete said horse to get established at whatever level, intersperse your rides with his/hers plus lessons and continue.  Repeat every time you want to go up a level.

I was working full-time in a stressful job, travelling extensively -EMEA and NA alternate weeks.  There ARE limits to what one can do.........I also didn't have the distraction of a young child! 

Get your faith and confidence back in yourself and your horse.......faking it is okay to a certain degree, but not as it comes over in your first post here!    Maybe I've read you wrong, in which case.....apologies.
		
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Oh no, you don't get put on user igore for that, quite the opposite!  Agreed.  He'd be heaps better off with a pro riding him.   Only problem is, we weren't going up a level....  We've actually done quite a lot at this level.  And yet we're still awful....



khalswitz said:



			Know the feeling - my horse seems to refuse MORE and MORE and it is because I continually LOOK DOWN AND DROP MY HANDS. I have a mental block on it now. Considering he jumps courses of 85-90 at home, and jumped smallish, not full-up and fillery 80's last summer, we now struggle to get round a 60 without either stops or stupid deer leaping, either often causing me to fall off. 

I call it a bad patch. Something's got to change eventually - either all the lessons and practice pay off, or I fall off one too many times and decide to stick to what he enjoys (dressage).  But if I haven't quite given up on event I don't think you should either H2T!!
		
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Oh dear!  Hope it all improves.


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## Rosiefan (24 April 2014)

You're daft woman.  It's supposed to be fun you know.  However, you can't stop eventing because your reports are wonderful as are you, so there xx


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## suzi (24 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Oh, apparently I shouldn't post up FB pics of me falling off.  Highlights the negatives.  

No next one.  Can't, shan't, won't, don't want to.  

Oh no, you don't get put on user igore for that, quite the opposite!  Agreed.  He'd be heaps better off with a pro riding him.   Only problem is, we weren't going up a level....  We've actually done quite a lot at this level.  And yet we're still awful....
		
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I actually quite liked the photo (as photos go I mean rather than liking the fact that you had been on the floor)......I agree the circumstances are pretty s***ty but it tells a story.

I don't believe you - I think you are too stubborn to be giving up just yet.  Having a break maybe, but not giving up.

You're not awful all the time, you are just having a pretty awful patch.  Compounded by the fact that you are probably heaping pressure on yourself to do as well as you have previously done at that level.

This is horses.....it doesn't work like that.  Just because you've done it before doesn't mean it will automatically happen again.  But equally the fact that it has happened before means you can get back there, it's just a case of working out what you have to do to get there (if you want to).


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

Darremi said:



			I totally felt like this after Burnham where my horse did his first CIC2*. Having had a fantastic ride through basically all the tricky fences I messed up near the end on the XC and normally we are great at that. 

As I was leading my horse back from the XC trying to stop myself from crying and contemplating all the hassle of what I would do with my horse if I gave up I realised that it is times like these that make us appreciate the good times .

Next time out you need to take the XC steady and get a clear round on the board. Take a long route or two if necessary to get your confidence back. 

In the meantime go XC schooling or set up makeshift skinnies in the school. This will really help the horse to lock-on.
		
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Oh no - what happened?  Sorry to hear that.  Yes, we've chopped up several fence posts and jump stands and now have about three skinnies for the school.  And off for a XC lesson this wkd.  



Rosiefan said:



			You're daft woman.  It's supposed to be fun you know.  However, you can't stop eventing because your reports are wonderful as are you, so there xx
		
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It's not meant to be fun!  It's meant to be a success! I can report on something else.  Nappy-changing.  My baby's called Rosie too - would it put you off if I wrote about changing Rosie's nappies?   



suzi said:



			I actually quite liked the photo (as photos go I mean rather than liking the fact that you had been on the floor)......I agree the circumstances are pretty s***ty but it tells a story.

I don't believe you - I think you are too stubborn to be giving up just yet.  Having a break maybe, but not giving up.

You're not awful all the time, you are just having a pretty awful patch.  Compounded by the fact that you are probably heaping pressure on yourself to do as well as you have previously done at that level.

This is horses.....it doesn't work like that.  Just because you've done it before doesn't mean it will automatically happen again.  But equally the fact that it has happened before means you can get back there, it's just a case of working out what you have to do to get there (if you want to).
		
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Totally!  Feel that I should be able to do it now, as have done it in the past!  Why don't horses work like that?  Why aren't they like a flight of stairs?  You get to one step, then you progress to the next step, etc.?  Why am I falling down these horse-stairs?  (Oh, wait, that'd be the general lack of co-ordination that I referred to earlier.)


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## Bernster (24 April 2014)

Diddleydoo said:



			You are wonderful.  Nobody gets where you have without being wonderful.

Keep up the good work and it will come together.
		
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Here here


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## cundlegreen (24 April 2014)

I'm not surprised that you are getting negative thoughts.You have a young baby and are trying to compete to a high level as well as fit everything in. I've been in your shoes, but not doing ODE, which is really stressful in terms of remembering all the gear, baby, baby's stuff, husband, and not forgetting the DR test and jumping courses!!
Look at this from another perspective. You may well be having trouble with your hormones, you may well have a supplementary deficiency. These will have an effect on your thought processes. Surely you've had the midwife ask if you ever felt suicidal after you had the baby?? Not kidding, I had to fill in a questionnaire on the whole new mother subject. Things to try, Magnesium pills (500mg) can really help with negativity and your whole thinking process. Essential oils have been my lifesaver in the last 4 years when my husband was diagnosed with cancer and later lost that fight. Bergamot, rose, neroli could all help, and rosemary for clarity of the brain (supposed to help with dementia, NOT that you're ever going there!). If you would like to try a blend, PM me, and I can send some for you to try. Its NOT just about you being able to step up to Intermediate again, its the whole outlook on things. Like me, you make a joke about all this, and I love reading your reports, but just try thinking outside the box, and concentrate on yourself a bit more.


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

Bernster said:



			Here here
		
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I'm going to have to say it again.  Harrumph.  



cundlegreen said:



			I'm not surprised that you are getting negative thoughts.You have a young baby and are trying to compete to a high level as well as fit everything in. I've been in your shoes, but not doing ODE, which is really stressful in terms of remembering all the gear, baby, baby's stuff, husband, and not forgetting the DR test and jumping courses!!
Look at this from another perspective. You may well be having trouble with your hormones, you may well have a supplementary deficiency. These will have an effect on your thought processes. Surely you've had the midwife ask if you ever felt suicidal after you had the baby?? Not kidding, I had to fill in a questionnaire on the whole new mother subject. Things to try, Magnesium pills (500mg) can really help with negativity and your whole thinking process. Essential oils have been my lifesaver in the last 4 years when my husband was diagnosed with cancer and later lost that fight. Bergamot, rose, neroli could all help, and rosemary for clarity of the brain (supposed to help with dementia, NOT that you're ever going there!). If you would like to try a blend, PM me, and I can send some for you to try. Its NOT just about you being able to step up to Intermediate again, its the whole outlook on things. Like me, you make a joke about all this, and I love reading your reports, but just try thinking outside the box, and concentrate on yourself a bit more.
		
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I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.  That's devastating.  

The MW did ask whether my husband beat me, but didn't seem to think I might be suicidal.  I had the baby 14 months ago, though, so I don't think I can blame the baby.  You're only allowed to have baby-hormones for the first 12 months.  

At the present rate of progress, I need to forget about doing an Int ever again (SoE and Hambledon were both N) which is pretty depressing....

Thanks for the suggestion, I've never taken anything like that before.  You think it could help?  Can't help me to ride better, though.


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## Rosiefan (24 April 2014)

_It's not meant to be fun! It's meant to be a success! I can report on something else. Nappy-changing. My baby's called Rosie too - would it put you off if I wrote about changing Rosie's nappies?_

Excuse me but it is so supposed to be fun, you don't have to win it to be in it (unless you're King/Fox-Pitt et al) and no thanks to Rosie nappy reports


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## armchair_rider (24 April 2014)

Having spent the whole weekend at Hambleden I am most gutted to have missed your entertaining remounting. That said you certainly weren't the only person having problems with that bit of the course or at that corner so I don't think you're especially incompetent. In fact i'd say you're probably a rather good rider going through a rather bad patch.


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## Charem (24 April 2014)

Saw the photo on fb of you using the fence as an improvised mounting block. The fact you could climb up that high whilst wearing am exo is an achievement in itself! 

Look forward to the next report


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## Santa_Claus (24 April 2014)

Can I be honest? ****** it I will be sorry in advance  I watched the beginning and end of your Xc round (I took half coffin pics  ) and you were riding with your upper body as if you were going showjumping which doesn't overly surprise me as you said you had Xc sessions with your SJ trainer and Vito is an ex show jumper so it's how he wants to be ridden. 

This doesn't make you a bad eventer and you certainly shouldn't be giving up just that as it is it makes your life harder as you seemed not to get a nice forward adjustable gallop between fences. 

If I was you I would go for some Xc sessions with a good Xc instructor. Robin Dumas and Nigel Taylor spring to mind and you may be surprised just how much you need to get Vito to adjust to opening up and coming back quicker. I think to best illustrate you started setting him up for the half coffin at the PN combo a good 15+ strides out and he argued. You wanted to be able to leave him at least another 5-10 strides to make both your lives easier and more enjoyable. 

I'm glad you're in one piece and definitely don't quit as it's all there I just think you need a true Xc instructor to put you back on the straight and narrow


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## TarrSteps (24 April 2014)

Perhaps it's worth asking your xc trainer what Vito might need to do for his own confidence, separate from your own. I know you feel he's very established but, all together, he's not had years of runs, especially for a relatively inexperienced amateur's horse. (I know you disagree but my business is to see things from the horse's point of view - it takes a village.  ) These sorts of blips are very common after you step up and everyone accepts it's not really the step up, it's the work afterwards. I have a clear recollection of being told this before I took that Nov > Int step and thinking all those old people were full of it.  I know you won't see it as any consolation but you're not having a unique experience and all you can do is learn from it and keep on keeping on.


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## Swirlymurphy (24 April 2014)

Honestly?  If you were my child, I would be telling you to come down a level and have some fun.  Do it so much you are bored, restless and itching to move up again.  You have plenty of guts and skill (whatever you might think at the moment).  You have just mislaid your mojo.  You WILL find it again, you just need to give yourself some breathing space to find it.  So...make it easy, go HC and have a blast.  Or do some UA events.  I also like the idea someone else has proposed of having a pro ride your horse for a bit.  Just take the pressure off yourself.  I assure you that you will find your competitive and positive streak again


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

Santa_Claus said:



			Can I be honest? ****** it I will be sorry in advance  I watched the beginning and end of your Xc round (I took half coffin pics  ) and you were riding with your upper body as if you were going showjumping which doesn't overly surprise me as you said you had Xc sessions with your SJ trainer and Vito is an ex show jumper so it's how he wants to be ridden. 

This doesn't make you a bad eventer and you certainly shouldn't be giving up just that as it is it makes your life harder as you seemed not to get a nice forward adjustable gallop between fences. 

If I was you I would go for some Xc sessions with a good Xc instructor. Robin Dumas and Nigel Taylor spring to mind and you may be surprised just how much you need to get Vito to adjust to opening up and coming back quicker. I think to best illustrate you started setting him up for the half coffin at the PN combo a good 15+ strides out and he argued. You wanted to be able to leave him at least another 5-10 strides to make both your lives easier and more enjoyable. 

I'm glad you're in one piece and definitely don't quit as it's all there I just think you need a true Xc instructor to put you back on the straight and narrow 

Click to expand...

Honesty v much appreciated, thanks!

That's interesting, do you think I was sitting up too much betw fences? My trainer (who's a BE trainer, but we do arena work) said to sit up more, because it helps to keep him off his f/hand.  And I am also quite defensive, very shoulders up, lower leg fwds.  

Yes, at the moment I have control issues. I prob set him up too far in advance in that instance, because I'd completely failed to set up earlier in the course.   But in general, I'd agree that he argues with me when I want control.  

Have a XC lesson booked for this wkd.


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			Perhaps it's worth asking your xc trainer what Vito might need to do for his own confidence, separate from your own. I know you feel he's very established but, all together, he's not had years of runs, especially for a relatively inexperienced amateur's horse. (I know you disagree but my business is to see things from the horse's point of view - it takes a village.  ) These sorts of blips are very common after you step up and everyone accepts it's not really the step up, it's the work afterwards. I have a clear recollection of being told this before I took that Nov > Int step and thinking all those old people were full of it.  I know you won't see it as any consolation but you're not having a unique experience and all you can do is learn from it and keep on keeping on.
		
Click to expand...

Ha!  Well he's had about 14 Novice runs now - you don't think that's quite a few?  Hhmm, is it normal to be struggling at Nov now? I'll ask about his confidence.  Thanks!


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			Perhaps it's worth asking your xc trainer what Vito 

Excuse me but it is so supposed to be fun, you don't have to win it to be in it (unless you're King/Fox-Pitt et al) and no thanks to Rosie nappy reports 

Click to expand...

Ok, I'll hold the nappy reports! 



armchair_rider said:



			Having spent the whole weekend at Hambleden I am most gutted to have missed your entertaining remounting. That said you certainly weren't the only person having problems with that bit of the course or at that corner so I don't think you're especially incompetent. In fact i'd say you're probably a rather good rider going through a rather bad patch.
		
Click to expand...

Ugh, I shouldn't have messed it up, though.  



Charem said:



			Saw the photo on fb of you using the fence as an improvised mounting block. The fact you could climb up that high whilst wearing am exo is an achievement in itself! 

Look forward to the next report 

Click to expand...

It was actually an easy enough fence to climb onto! 



Swirlymurphy said:



			Honestly?  If you were my child, I would be telling you to come down a level and have some fun.  Do it so much you are bored, restless and itching to move up again.  You have plenty of guts and skill (whatever you might think at the moment).  You have just mislaid your mojo.  You WILL find it again, you just need to give yourself some breathing space to find it.  So...make it easy, go HC and have a blast.  Or do some UA events.  I also like the idea someone else has proposed of having a pro ride your horse for a bit.  Just take the pressure off yourself.  I assure you that you will find your competitive and positive streak again 

Click to expand...

I don't know about dropping down to 100. I agree there's a confidence issues, but it's a bit deeper than that.  I had a perfectly pleasant run at SoE Novice, it all felt rather boringly do-able, but then I still managed to stuff up the following wkd, still at Nov! I think it's about accuracy, control and speed.  

The pro idea...of course he'd do better with a pro, but it is really not he who is the problem, it is me. So wld that just be delaying the moment that I needed to address my problems?


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## Santa_Claus (24 April 2014)

Yes far too upright and busy (because he was fighting you) I have pics of your entire approach if you would like to see for educational purposes. Can email you if you want? I would say there is a difference between sitting up but still letting the horse stretch and flow and sitting up and holding together in a show jumper sense and it's finding your happy balance but yes I would have prob set up far earlier as well had I had the same round 

Great for Xc lesson but I would want it on a course not in an arena as no matter how hard you or anyone else tries it's near impossible to ride the same as you don't have all the changes in terrain balance and ability to pick up the same speed etc 

You will get back to where you were. And yes things can go a bit wrong even after a while at a level as little things catch up from earlier or changes are made in training which although may overall be for the best can short term cause 'kinks' in form.


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## Laafet (24 April 2014)

I love your reports H2T - have no advice to give as am having major issues myself at the moment. What is the chimp book, it sounds like it may help me.


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## Farma (24 April 2014)

No you absolutely cannot give up as I'm getting ready to come join you soon!! 
I know you've had a few hiccups but you did also have quite a run of good luck not long ago so keep in mind how well you have done and you'll be back there again soon, through sheer determination if nothing else!


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## TarrSteps (24 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Ha!  Well he's had about 14 Novice runs now - you don't think that's quite a few?  Hhmm, is it normal to be struggling at Nov now? I'll ask about his confidence.  Thanks!
		
Click to expand...

It's not just about runs, he doesn't have masses of xc mileage for the level and has probably not met much that really tested his scope. So it's all been pretty easy for him and he's been able to make up for any dodgy moments by jumping you both out of trouble. This is true for most horses at 100/Nov. But as you get closer to the edges of the horse's scope any dodgy moments are much more likely to make any but the craziest horse go 'hmmmm'. (I have a distinct recollection of launching my scopey horse off a long distance to a max oxer and the horse cleared it but he was definitely surprised and not as keen the next time I tried it!) That's natural and normal. Horses aren't machines and they aren't just reflections of how we think they should be. 

It's a pretty common point in all disciplines. That's one of the reasons why classes thin out higher up. Any trainer will tell you all but the most amazing horse will hit a level/class/day when it has to dig in a bit, even with the most careful prep, and the performance will go backwards a bit. (The dressage riders talk about 'GP blues') And it's rarely the first few runs, it's after there has been a bump or a harder run and the horse feels it's maybe not that easy. Of course a very experienced jockey will be better able to cajole or handhold as needed so you, observing, might not even see it. Experienced riders also have the comfort of knowing they've been there before and got through it. They are also more likely to have consciously built in those testing moments early, to have shown the horse how to be self sufficient (that video of the Cooley horses being longed over xc jumps comes to mind) so they learn to take their knocks a bit. This is part of the reason some go hunting, to learn how to keep coming when it's not perfect. (SJ ing training actively avoids teaching horses to plough on through, too!) I'm not saying this is a massive deal but it's part of making event horses. Lots of horses outside of professional programs learn just by trial, error and experience, by making little mistakes and thinking 'phew, let's not do that again!' but the faster you move up, the fewer chances the horse has to gain experience under fire. I also think pros who have been well taught and at it for awhile do a lot of that sort of thing without even thinking about it and may need reminding that you are not out schooling xc every week, the horse hasn't hunted, probably done much work over/grown up on rough terrain or done any of the other things that give horses physical confidence. 

That's actually too much information and not my point, just explaining my earlier comment. I can't see the horse, I don't know. I'm just saying it's worth a conversation and reminding your trainers that actually he has quite limited xc experience and it's all been with you, so is there any chance he's also feeling a bit knocked back.


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

Santa_Claus said:



			Yes far too upright and busy (because he was fighting you) I have pics of your entire approach if you would like to see for educational purposes. Can email you if you want? I would say there is a difference between sitting up but still letting the horse stretch and flow and sitting up and holding together in a show jumper sense and it's finding your happy balance but yes I would have prob set up far earlier as well had I had the same round 

Great for Xc lesson but I would want it on a course not in an arena as no matter how hard you or anyone else tries it's near impossible to ride the same as you don't have all the changes in terrain balance and ability to pick up the same speed etc 

You will get back to where you were. And yes things can go a bit wrong even after a while at a level as little things catch up from earlier or changes are made in training which although may overall be for the best can short term cause 'kinks' in form. 

Click to expand...

Thanks, that would be really good!  I did want him quite "together" for the coffin, and I do go into show jumper mode when I want to get him back for things like coffins. But I'd have looked more forwards over the first few fences, as they were straightforward and easy?  



Laafet said:



			I love your reports H2T - have no advice to give as am having major issues myself at the moment. What is the chimp book, it sounds like it may help me.
		
Click to expand...

The Chimp Paradox!  It is quite helpful.  



Farma said:



			No you absolutely cannot give up as I'm getting ready to come join you soon!! 
I know you've had a few hiccups but you did also have quite a run of good luck not long ago so keep in mind how well you have done and you'll be back there again soon, through sheer determination if nothing else!
		
Click to expand...

You do the eventing, I'll groom.  (And eat chocolate.)


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## Farma (24 April 2014)

What about taking up bd with? ) much less stressful than eventing and less falling off (hopefully)!


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## Darremi (24 April 2014)

Santa_Claus said:



			Yes far too upright and busy (because he was fighting you) I have pics of your entire approach if you would like to see for educational purposes. Can email you if you want? I would say there is a difference between sitting up but still letting the horse stretch and flow and sitting up and holding together in a show jumper sense and it's finding your happy balance but yes I would have prob set up far earlier as well had I had the same round 

Great for Xc lesson but I would want it on a course not in an arena as no matter how hard you or anyone else tries it's near impossible to ride the same as you don't have all the changes in terrain balance and ability to pick up the same speed etc 

You will get back to where you were. And yes things can go a bit wrong even after a while at a level as little things catch up from earlier or changes are made in training which although may overall be for the best can short term cause 'kinks' in form.
		
Click to expand...

Following on from what Santa Claus said, it may be worth practising opening up the canter and bring him back whilst on the flat doing your fitness work. Just set a point in the distance and imagine you have to do a skinny fence there and try to the get him back smoothly into the correct type of canter for the approach.

Also, I see that you use a dutch gag. Some horses react quite badly to that when you try to slow them up. My WB eventer hates the dutch gag and lets me set him up in a rubber pelham.


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## TGM (24 April 2014)

How much riding are you able to get in on a day to day basis?  Do you have good childcare or is the reason you have to work on technical XC in an arena because you have to have child with you when you ride during the week?  Agree with the others that practising skinnies in an arena may not be sufficient - you need to be able to replicate the adrenalin and speed that you get whilst competing XC.


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## Fun Times (24 April 2014)

Well I am a miserable b***h at the moment and the way you wrote that report has made me laugh more than I have for days. Not at you, I mean, with you. Oh god now I just sound like a sadistic freak laughing at people having problems. Could we maybe have a trial report of rosies nappy changing just to sober me up from laughing a bit?


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## Suziq77 (24 April 2014)

I'm another one who loves your writing style although sorry to hear you've hit a bit of a bump.  I'm all up and down with one of mine atm, it does matter (a lot), it's not the taking part that counts (whatever anyone tells me) and I don't get up at 4am to ride before commuting a 3 hour round trip into London just to make up the numbers.  The way you've written this report does help remind me it's not just me that doesn't find it easy, so thanks for that bit anyway and good luck getting your groove back.


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## TheSylv007 (24 April 2014)

I love your posts.  That is all.


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## JFTDWS (24 April 2014)

I do enjoy reading about your antics - even if they aren't always as much fun for you as they could be!


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

Farma said:



			What about taking up bd with? ) much less stressful than eventing and less falling off (hopefully)!
		
Click to expand...

No!  No, no, no.  



Darremi said:



			Following on from what Santa Claus said, it may be worth practising opening up the canter and bring him back whilst on the flat doing your fitness work. Just set a point in the distance and imagine you have to do a skinny fence there and try to the get him back smoothly into the correct type of canter for the approach.

Also, I see that you use a dutch gag. Some horses react quite badly to that when you try to slow them up. My WB eventer hates the dutch gag and lets me set him up in a rubber pelham.
		
Click to expand...

His previous rider had him in something really odd.  A butterfly flip?  



TGM said:



			How much riding are you able to get in on a day to day basis?  Do you have good childcare or is the reason you have to work on technical XC in an arena because you have to have child with you when you ride during the week?  Agree with the others that practising skinnies in an arena may not be sufficient - you need to be able to replicate the adrenalin and speed that you get whilst competing XC.
		
Click to expand...

I'm back at work, so have to ride before I go to the office.   Makes XC schooling a bit less practical!  



Fun Times said:



			Well I am a miserable b***h at the moment and the way you wrote that report has made me laugh more than I have for days. Not at you, I mean, with you. Oh god now I just sound like a sadistic freak laughing at people having problems. Could we maybe have a trial report of rosies nappy changing just to sober me up from laughing a bit?
		
Click to expand...

Of course.  I had a brilliant Nappy Situation earlier this evening.  It was Code Brown on an extreme scale.  



Suziq77 said:



			I'm another one who loves your writing style although sorry to hear you've hit a bit of a bump.  I'm all up and down with one of mine atm, it does matter (a lot), it's not the taking part that counts (whatever anyone tells me) and I don't get up at 4am to ride before commuting a 3 hour round trip into London just to make up the numbers.  The way you've written this report does help remind me it's not just me that doesn't find it easy, so thanks for that bit anyway and good luck getting your groove back.
		
Click to expand...

Exactly!  Hope things improve with yours.  



TheSylv007 said:



			I love your posts.  That is all.
		
Click to expand...

Thanks! 



JFTD said:



			I do enjoy reading about your antics - even if they aren't always as much fun for you as they could be!
		
Click to expand...

No..... Not always.....


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## HotToTrot (24 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			It's not just about runs, he doesn't have masses of xc mileage for the level and has probably not met much that really tested his scope. So it's all been pretty easy for him and he's been able to make up for any dodgy moments by jumping you both out of trouble. This is true for most horses at 100/Nov. But as you get closer to the edges of the horse's scope any dodgy moments are much more likely to make any but the craziest horse go 'hmmmm'. (I have a distinct recollection of launching my scopey horse off a long distance to a max oxer and the horse cleared it but he was definitely surprised and not as keen the next time I tried it!) That's natural and normal. Horses aren't machines and they aren't just reflections of how we think they should be. 

It's a pretty common point in all disciplines. That's one of the reasons why classes thin out higher up. Any trainer will tell you all but the most amazing horse will hit a level/class/day when it has to dig in a bit, even with the most careful prep, and the performance will go backwards a bit. (The dressage riders talk about 'GP blues') And it's rarely the first few runs, it's after there has been a bump or a harder run and the horse feels it's maybe not that easy. Of course a very experienced jockey will be better able to cajole or handhold as needed so you, observing, might not even see it. Experienced riders also have the comfort of knowing they've been there before and got through it. They are also more likely to have consciously built in those testing moments early, to have shown the horse how to be self sufficient (that video of the Cooley horses being longed over xc jumps comes to mind) so they learn to take their knocks a bit. This is part of the reason some go hunting, to learn how to keep coming when it's not perfect. (SJ ing training actively avoids teaching horses to plough on through, too!) I'm not saying this is a massive deal but it's part of making event horses. Lots of horses outside of professional programs learn just by trial, error and experience, by making little mistakes and thinking 'phew, let's not do that again!' but the faster you move up, the fewer chances the horse has to gain experience under fire. I also think pros who have been well taught and at it for awhile do a lot of that sort of thing without even thinking about it and may need reminding that you are not out schooling xc every week, the horse hasn't hunted, probably done much work over/grown up on rough terrain or done any of the other things that give horses physical confidence. 

That's actually too much information and not my point, just explaining my earlier comment. I can't see the horse, I don't know. I'm just saying it's worth a conversation and reminding your trainers that actually he has quite limited xc experience and it's all been with you, so is there any chance he's also feeling a bit knocked back.
		
Click to expand...

Thank you, that does make sense!  Actually, my trainer was saying something not dissimilar the other day.  That said, when you look at the records of horses at Int, they seem to have got there on a similar number of runs to mine.  Maybe they do more outside those runs, in terms of XC schooling and hunting.


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## dafthoss (24 April 2014)

If its any consolation the only thing I can get on from the floor is 11.2 my 14.2 has to park up next to something so I can get on....  

Any way love reading your tales as always. You are just letting others have a chance of winning for once


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## anna22 (24 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Totally!  Feel that I should be able to do it now, as have done it in the past!  Why don't horses work like that?  Why aren't they like a flight of stairs? 

Thanks for the suggestion, I've never taken anything like that before.  You think it could help?  Can't help me to ride better, though.
		
Click to expand...

Horses have a brain... all be it a rather tiny, irrational one at times... so no simple up and down like stairs.  You're biggest step forward is the one you've already made : admitting you have a problem.  You just need to be open to the options available to fix said problem.  It may sound stupid, but have you thought of a sports psychologist? Someone who will help you to rationalise your problem and figure out a plan to help you overcome it?
Also, it is all well and good people telling you're good, but you need to believe it. Personally I do think you're brilliant.  At riding.  At writing. At being a working mum/competitive rider/wife/a million and one other things  so please give yourself a little lee-way.  

And although herbs/remedies may not make you a better rider per se, they may enable you to be in a better frame of mind which will ALLOW you to ride to your full potential/be better... the mind is a powerful thing and if you are not in the right frame of mind you will not be able to perform to the best of your abilities.


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## Lolo (25 April 2014)

I'm sorry you're going through a tough patch. They suck right up until you're 3 months clear and then they become slightly less upsetting. It's 2 years since Al's blue year with Reg and she's only just begun to mention it in a context out of slightly tearful/ worried. You sound like you've got a good support system though, and a lovely horse.

On a very different note, is the writing in The Chimp Paradox big or small? Al's reading Bounce atm but is finding that the tiny font makes it very difficult going...


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## TarrSteps (25 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Thank you, that does make sense!  Actually, my trainer was saying something not dissimilar the other day.  That said, when you look at the records of horses at Int, they seem to have got there on a similar number of runs to mine.  Maybe they do more outside those runs, in terms of XC schooling and hunting.
		
Click to expand...

I would say many do. You would also have to know how they were raised, what their early training was etc. to accurately compare.  Horses in professional or very proven programs (even if it's a family doing things the way they've 'always done it' or similar) may seem to move up very quickly but that's at least partly because they are maximising their learning, putting lots of white marbles into the jar. If the rider knows exactly the reaction and feel they're after, things go more quickly, even if it's only in a few areas. I had a horse early on that galloped wonderfully and so I just made other horses gallop like him. I still sucked at lots of other stuff, just not that. If you're only riding one horse and that horse isn't super confirmed, the process is slower.

One friend of mine took years to get her first horse (an ex sj'er) to 2* but then shot up with her next horse, which was purpose bred and came from a specialist event producer. How much of the faster progress was the horse, how much was her, is impossible to know.

I know you like to pour over the stats and find horses and riders to compare yourself to but I really don't see how that's possible without knowing the full story. Horses aren't numbers. (If they were every handicap race would be a dead heat.) And how do you know the person shooting up the ranks of BE doesn't have years of experience in another sphere? I really think that way lies madness.


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## meardsall_millie (25 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			I know you like to pour over the stats and find horses and riders to compare yourself to but I really don't see how that's possible without knowing the full story. Horses aren't numbers. (If they were every handicap race would be a dead heat.) And how do you know the person shooting up the ranks of BE doesn't have years of experience in another sphere? I really think that way lies madness.
		
Click to expand...

This!!

How can you possibly compare yourself and your horse to others when you have no idea of their circumstances?!

And why does it matter if someone else has taken their horse from BE90 to Intermediate in 4 runs? Why does that affect you?!

Stop analysing others and get on with your own life!!


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## cundlegreen (25 April 2014)

anna22 said:



			And although herbs/remedies may not make you a better rider per se, they may enable you to be in a better frame of mind which will ALLOW you to ride to your full potential/be better... the mind is a powerful thing and if you are not in the right frame of mind you will not be able to perform to the best of your abilities.



Click to expand...

Absolutely this.......Your horse will pick up every little signal from you, and that includes the negative ones!


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## Supanova (25 April 2014)

Just to say i think your posts are brilliant.........you see you are wonderful!!


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## PaddyMonty (25 April 2014)

Love the report. Far more entertaining than the boring BD ones I do.
Back when I were a fit younger man I found a great training aid for getting kick on confidence at novice XC. Find some moron in the crowd at a major event like chatsworth. Make sure he has a huge german shepherd dog with zero recall ability and ask him to realease it just as you are approaching a large trekaner 2 from home.
If you're really lucky (like I was) the dog will hound your horses heels for the rest of the course.
Give it a go. You know you want to.


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## Prince33Sp4rkle (25 April 2014)

ugh.horses.

you can do it though,and you dont sound ready to give up yet, just frustrated to high hell.
which is understandable, im sort of in the same place. so hug/arse kick/hug.................get back out there


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## Joyous70 (25 April 2014)

Another one saying, don't give up, keep calm, sit up and canter on!

You can't give up, i love your reports, and you inspire me, i want to event my youngster, and reading your reports, I know you work and have a young baby has made me realise that with a lot of hard work on my part it MAY be possible for me to realise my dream, even if we fall foul at BE90.


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## dieseldog (25 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Yes, at the moment I have control issues. I prob set him up too far in advance in that instance, because I'd completely failed to set up earlier in the course.   But in general, I'd agree that he argues with me when I want control.
		
Click to expand...

Try a different bit?


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## HeresHoping (25 April 2014)

I'm no longer active in the eventing field (not through lack of trying mind you) so really not qualified to say anything of any substance except that you have always come across as having more resolve, grit and determination to keep going than most of us.  With all the things life throws at you (babies (and boobage), work, redesigning a showjumper, etc.), I suspect a large proportion of us would have dropped the game some time ago.  For that, you can hold your head high, run your flag up the pole and shout 'Valeo!' to all the world.  It's Latin, but it rolls off the tongue so very nicely, don't you think?  Its meanings are numerous, but count among them, 'I am strong!', 'I am worth it', and, if you use the perfect active, 'Valui!' in a sort of View Halloo fashion (off season hunting, there you go), most importantly, it means 'I CAN'.  Because you can.  Aid it if you like with a bit of Bach's remedy and chimp boxing, but we know you can because you have.

I was listening to that chap who boxed the chimp and wrote a book about it on the radio this morning.  What he said was that he couldn't create talent.  What he could do was help whatever talent there was reach its optimum and help deal with the emotional - physical - emotional issues that arise.  I was thinking about you as he said it because one of the things that he hadn't covered when it came out was not just boxing with a chimp, but having to box extremely clever (see what I did there?) because as an eventer, you don't just have one chimp boxing back, you have two.  An inner one and one of which has four legs and a completely different mindset to you.  Yes, you are his leader, but you are top of the food chain and he's a fight or flight animal and at some stage, his adrenalin is going to win out over his very small but trainable brain.  So, Mr Steve Peters, just how would you go about that?  Personally, I think he needs to do some collaboration with TarrSteps to 'get' our sport.  Anyhow, I digress, but what I am saying is don't give up, please, because you're already conquering the mountain one step at a time.  And even the best boxers, mountaineers, event riders have off-days.  Even those that get to do it all day, every day on purpose bred horses.

I think you're fabulous.  I'm so envious of not just the fact that you get on with it and succeed, but the fact that you write so brilliantly.  I can only aspire to do what you do on both counts and I'm a blooming magazine editor.


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

dafthoss said:



			If its any consolation the only thing I can get on from the floor is 11.2 my 14.2 has to park up next to something so I can get on....  

Any way love reading your tales as always. You are just letting others have a chance of winning for once 

Click to expand...

I know getting on is impossible!  I used to vault on in my pony club/mounted games days, maybe I'll try that next time.  



anna22 said:



			Horses have a brain... all be it a rather tiny, irrational one at times... so no simple up and down like stairs.  You're biggest step forward is the one you've already made : admitting you have a problem.  You just need to be open to the options available to fix said problem.  It may sound stupid, but have you thought of a sports psychologist? Someone who will help you to rationalise your problem and figure out a plan to help you overcome it?
Also, it is all well and good people telling you're good, but you need to believe it. Personally I do think you're brilliant.  At riding.  At writing. At being a working mum/competitive rider/wife/a million and one other things  so please give yourself a little lee-way.  

And although herbs/remedies may not make you a better rider per se, they may enable you to be in a better frame of mind which will ALLOW you to ride to your full potential/be better... the mind is a powerful thing and if you are not in the right frame of mind you will not be able to perform to the best of your abilities.



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I definitely agree with this.  I need to re-visit all the Chimp/sports psychology points and focus more on them. 



Lolo said:



			I'm sorry you're going through a tough patch. They suck right up until you're 3 months clear and then they become slightly less upsetting. It's 2 years since Al's blue year with Reg and she's only just begun to mention it in a context out of slightly tearful/ worried. You sound like you've got a good support system though, and a lovely horse.

On a very different note, is the writing in The Chimp Paradox big or small? Al's reading Bounce atm but is finding that the tiny font makes it very difficult going...
		
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Big!  Big font!  And it's well broken down, too, so it's easy to follow and easy to pick up and put down.  



TarrSteps said:



			I would say many do. You would also have to know how they were raised, what their early training was etc. to accurately compare.  Horses in professional or very proven programs (even if it's a family doing things the way they've 'always done it' or similar) may seem to move up very quickly but that's at least partly because they are maximising their learning, putting lots of white marbles into the jar. If the rider knows exactly the reaction and feel they're after, things go more quickly, even if it's only in a few areas. I had a horse early on that galloped wonderfully and so I just made other horses gallop like him. I still sucked at lots of other stuff, just not that. If you're only riding one horse and that horse isn't super confirmed, the process is slower.

One friend of mine took years to get her first horse (an ex sj'er) to 2* but then shot up with her next horse, which was purpose bred and came from a specialist event producer. How much of the faster progress was the horse, how much was her, is impossible to know.

I know you like to pour over the stats and find horses and riders to compare yourself to but I really don't see how that's possible without knowing the full story. Horses aren't numbers. (If they were every handicap race would be a dead heat.) And how do you know the person shooting up the ranks of BE doesn't have years of experience in another sphere? I really think that way lies madness.
		
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Yes, my trainer was getting me to walk over small jumps the other day, to give me the feel of having Vito connected and to give Vito the feel of springing up.  I had to jump them from walk, not just step over!  And he made the point that there'd likely be gaps along those lines in our experience....



meardsall_millie said:



			This!!

How can you possibly compare yourself and your horse to others when you have no idea of their circumstances?!

And why does it matter if someone else has taken their horse from BE90 to Intermediate in 4 runs? Why does that affect you?!

Stop analysing others and get on with your own life!! 

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Ha!  You may be over-estimating my pouring habit.....!  I do think it serves as a guide to what's achievable and reasonable.  If you were running a marathon, you'd look at the times of the other competitors and conclude that sub-three hrs was phenomenal, 4 or 5 hrs was average, and over 6 was pretty slow.  And you don't need to know much background for that!  



cundlegreen said:



			Absolutely this.......Your horse will pick up every little signal from you, and that includes the negative ones!
		
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Ok, I'll give it a go.  Will look up the bits that you recommended.  



Supanova said:



			Just to say i think your posts are brilliant.........you see you are wonderful!!
		
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User ignore!!!!!!



PaddyMonty said:



			Love the report. Far more entertaining than the boring BD ones I do.
Back when I were a fit younger man I found a great training aid for getting kick on confidence at novice XC. Find some moron in the crowd at a major event like chatsworth. Make sure he has a huge german shepherd dog with zero recall ability and ask him to realease it just as you are approaching a large trekaner 2 from home.
If you're really lucky (like I was) the dog will hound your horses heels for the rest of the course.
Give it a go. You know you want to.
		
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Yikes!!!!  Vito lives in Hackney - he spends all his hacks being chased by the generic East London Dog Accessory - the ones that all look like pit bulls and wear studded collars.  



Prince33Sp4rkle said:



			ugh.horses.

you can do it though,and you dont sound ready to give up yet, just frustrated to high hell.
which is understandable, im sort of in the same place. so hug/arse kick/hug.................get back out there 

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I know.... Ugh.  Thanks.  



Joyous70 said:



			Another one saying, don't give up, keep calm, sit up and canter on!

You can't give up, i love your reports, and you inspire me, i want to event my youngster, and reading your reports, I know you work and have a young baby has made me realise that with a lot of hard work on my part it MAY be possible for me to realise my dream, even if we fall foul at BE90.
		
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You definitely can!  Good luck!  



dieseldog said:



			Try a different bit?
		
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Yep.  Have begged a Kimblewick to have a go in.


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## lex2501 (25 April 2014)

Oh Viv.... YOUR THIGHS ARE TINY!!!!!!

And I watched your show jumping round at Hambleden green with envy - stylish, classy and a round I want to emulate.

Keep on carrying on! Please!!!!


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## Golden_Match_II (25 April 2014)

H2T, if it's any consolation whatsoever, I did EXACTLY the same as you at that skinny before the water. Exactly the same. Except I'm on a schoolmistress who has 34 points and was produced by Izzy Taylor haha!

I totally understand where you are coming from with the shoulders, I'm a number 1 culprit for tipping forwards and dropping the reins coming into a fence, be it SJ or XC. This bad habit is especially rubbish when you're only on a 15.1hh, and she has a very long neck which she's very good at dropping  It meant I fell off about 3 from home at the u18 champs at Weston last autumn, and after that I was in a similar position as you. My confience was shattered and I felt humiliated and stupid etc etc.

Had a really really fab and helpful lesson with Robin Dumas last week which helped me no end. He is rather blunt, but he makes it clear what you need to do to improve. I'd say maybe a change of instructor could help you a lot - even if only for a few lessons. I just think sometimes it's nice to be taken on as a blank canvas, as old instructors know every single weakness and have probably been trying to solve them for years, whereas someone new might just have that way of saying it that make so much more sense.

Don't give up, but if you feel like eventing isn't for you at the moment, and Vito is a good SJer, why not focus on doing some BS and build your confidence through doing well and getting double clears SJ? And then go XC schooling with a trainer too. Just feeling like you are actually good at something for a while might be all you need to go back to eventing with newfound confidence


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## dark rider (25 April 2014)

Please don't stop writing your reports, I would miss spluttering coffee everywhere.

I had the same problems but just a lower level.  Never did get the dressage cracked.  Rescue Remedy and practice, practice, practice worked for me.  And the andrenalin rush when the XC was perfect.

You are already doing stuff at a much higher level than most people could ever achieve.

Loved the Pit Bull Dogs idea.


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## TGM (25 April 2014)

I don't think it is sensible to compare other people's progression rate up the eventing ladder to your own.  Do they have to fit their riding around a job and a baby for a start?  And I bet they are getting more cross country experience than you are, whether that is in competition or in practice.  Many of your competitors will be riding multiple horses too, so will be more riding fit than you as well.  It's not as if you are really doing that badly - you were clear SJ in one event and clear XC and within the time at another.  So you just need to be able to manage both on the same day!


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## TarrSteps (25 April 2014)

Re comparing, whatever any of us say, you've made up your mind on that point but to anyone else doing it, no riding is not like looking up times on a marathon. Running is a much less complex skill than producing a horse to an event, fit, ready and competitive. And even then, when you look at times does it tell you how long those people have been running? How many marathons they've done? Time off for injury? Any mental battles they may have had? Experience in other sports? And that is leaving out the fact that running doesn't involve another living thing! I'm sorry, I don't think it's fair to say to a horse, "Hey, look. That other horse did x in y time, what's wrong with you??" I don't think it's fair to riders, either, for that matter. And having logged countless hours with riders, trainers, horses, parents I can't say I've ever been in a successful program that works that way. Horses and riders are individuals.


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

HeresHoping said:



			I'm no longer active in the eventing field (not through lack of trying mind you) so really not qualified to say anything of any substance except that you have always come across as having more resolve, grit and determination to keep going than most of us.  With all the things life throws at you (babies (and boobage), work, redesigning a showjumper, etc.), I suspect a large proportion of us would have dropped the game some time ago.  For that, you can hold your head high, run your flag up the pole and shout 'Valeo!' to all the world.  It's Latin, but it rolls off the tongue so very nicely, don't you think?  Its meanings are numerous, but count among them, 'I am strong!', 'I am worth it', and, if you use the perfect active, 'Valui!' in a sort of View Halloo fashion (off season hunting, there you go), most importantly, it means 'I CAN'.  Because you can.  Aid it if you like with a bit of Bach's remedy and chimp boxing, but we know you can because you have.

I was listening to that chap who boxed the chimp and wrote a book about it on the radio this morning.  What he said was that he couldn't create talent.  What he could do was help whatever talent there was reach its optimum and help deal with the emotional - physical - emotional issues that arise.  I was thinking about you as he said it because one of the things that he hadn't covered when it came out was not just boxing with a chimp, but having to box extremely clever (see what I did there?) because as an eventer, you don't just have one chimp boxing back, you have two.  An inner one and one of which has four legs and a completely different mindset to you.  Yes, you are his leader, but you are top of the food chain and he's a fight or flight animal and at some stage, his adrenalin is going to win out over his very small but trainable brain.  So, Mr Steve Peters, just how would you go about that?  Personally, I think he needs to do some collaboration with TarrSteps to 'get' our sport.  Anyhow, I digress, but what I am saying is don't give up, please, because you're already conquering the mountain one step at a time.  And even the best boxers, mountaineers, event riders have off-days.  Even those that get to do it all day, every day on purpose bred horses.

I think you're fabulous.  I'm so envious of not just the fact that you get on with it and succeed, but the fact that you write so brilliantly.  I can only aspire to do what you do on both counts and I'm a blooming magazine editor.

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Wow - you are FAR too nice!  Thank you!  I wish I'd done Latin.  Yes, it would be good to see how Steve Peters would deal with a horse-chimp.  But it hasn't been that hard with the baby and the boobs - the whole world and his wife were extremely keen to tell me that I absolutely couldn't have a baby AND a horse (I'll write a report about that one day) but honestly, if they tried it, they'd have seen that it was pretty straightforward.  No, the problem comes not from my baby or my boobs, but from me....          



lex2501 said:



			Oh Viv.... YOUR THIGHS ARE TINY!!!!!!

And I watched your show jumping round at Hambleden green with envy - stylish, classy and a round I want to emulate.

Keep on carrying on! Please!!!!
		
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But that is because Vito can show jump!  You could emulate it very very easily on Vito!  



Golden_Match_II said:



			H2T, if it's any consolation whatsoever, I did EXACTLY the same as you at that skinny before the water. Exactly the same. Except I'm on a schoolmistress who has 34 points and was produced by Izzy Taylor haha!

I totally understand where you are coming from with the shoulders, I'm a number 1 culprit for tipping forwards and dropping the reins coming into a fence, be it SJ or XC. This bad habit is especially rubbish when you're only on a 15.1hh, and she has a very long neck which she's very good at dropping  It meant I fell off about 3 from home at the u18 champs at Weston last autumn, and after that I was in a similar position as you. My confience was shattered and I felt humiliated and stupid etc etc.

Had a really really fab and helpful lesson with Robin Dumas last week which helped me no end. He is rather blunt, but he makes it clear what you need to do to improve. I'd say maybe a change of instructor could help you a lot - even if only for a few lessons. I just think sometimes it's nice to be taken on as a blank canvas, as old instructors know every single weakness and have probably been trying to solve them for years, whereas someone new might just have that way of saying it that make so much more sense.

Don't give up, but if you feel like eventing isn't for you at the moment, and Vito is a good SJer, why not focus on doing some BS and build your confidence through doing well and getting double clears SJ? And then go XC schooling with a trainer too. Just feeling like you are actually good at something for a while might be all you need to go back to eventing with newfound confidence 

Click to expand...

I was convinced I was going to bash into a tree around that skinny!  I did think about doing some show jumping on him.  But - here's the but - to enjoy it, I have to feel that it's an achievement.  So I'd have to go out and jump big tracks, so I felt it was hard, and I'm not sure I should be pushing myself in too many spheres at the same time! 



dark rider said:



			Please don't stop writing your reports, I would miss spluttering coffee everywhere.

I had the same problems but just a lower level.  Never did get the dressage cracked.  Rescue Remedy and practice, practice, practice worked for me.  And the andrenalin rush when the XC was perfect.

You are already doing stuff at a much higher level than most people could ever achieve.

Loved the Pit Bull Dogs idea.
		
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But I'm not!!!!!  Yes, the generic pit bull is everywhere round Hackney.  (They may not actually be pit bulls.)



TGM said:



			I don't think it is sensible to compare other people's progression rate up the eventing ladder to your own.  Do they have to fit their riding around a job and a baby for a start?  And I bet they are getting more cross country experience than you are, whether that is in competition or in practice.  Many of your competitors will be riding multiple horses too, so will be more riding fit than you as well.  It's not as if you are really doing that badly - you were clear SJ in one event and clear XC and within the time at another.  So you just need to be able to manage both on the same day!
		
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Yes, agreed, it doesn't do to compare oneself too much - it's just helpful to do so envy now and again as a guideline!


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			Re comparing, whatever any of us say, you've made up your mind on that point but to anyone else doing it, no riding is not like looking up times on a marathon. Running is a much less complex skill than producing a horse to an event, fit, ready and competitive. And even then, when you look at times does it tell you how long those people have been running? How many marathons they've done? Time off for injury? Any mental battles they may have had? Experience in other sports? And that is leaving out the fact that running doesn't involve another living thing! I'm sorry, I don't think it's fair to say to a horse, "Hey, look. That other horse did x in y time, what's wrong with you??" I don't think it's fair to riders, either, for that matter. And having logged countless hours with riders, trainers, horses, parents I can't say I've ever been in a successful program that works that way. Horses and riders are individuals.
		
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Yes, I agree - but it does give a bit of a steer, in some cases.  Of course you can't be prescriptive, but if you'd done, for example, 30 Novices and you still didn't feel ready for Int, then you might think that either you weren't going to be ready for Int at all (which would be fine) or that you needed to change something in order to feel ready for Int (which would be useful).  You might not think that you'd just do another ten runs, without changing a thing, and then you'd feel ready.  And you might think that on the basis that plenty of horses get to Int in fewer than 30 Novice runs.  So taken in context, I think a bit of looking around at what other riders are up to can be helpful?


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## smja (25 April 2014)

I'm another who loves reading your reports!

I'm only at 100, but last year I rode xc like a tool. A winter of trips out hunting, xc schooling sessions with trainer told to give me a kick up the backside, riding round entire course chanting to self "pay attention, trainer will kill you if you muck it up again" = clear in first event this year. That works for me, because I always do better if someone else is pushing me - self-doubt creeps in if I let it.  Having a trusted experienced person tell me that we are capable of doing something feels, to me, like a security blanket with which I can ward off the demons.


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## TarrSteps (25 April 2014)

Ah, that's a different conversation. If you know HOW other riders are producing the results you want consistently, that's a different conversation. Are they hunting? Team Chasing? Xc once a week? Having a pro ride the horse at home? Xc schooling on other horses? Feeding a certain way? Taking instruction from certain people? All very helpful to know! Even the top riders tweak their programs as they get more information. 

I have a friend who is exactly the sort of person you're using as a benchmark. Second season BE, older person without much family support, moved a horse up to Int very competitively. She also rides 3 to 8 horses a day, breaks race horses and rides out, hunts for dealers, shows WH at Open level and has ridden for two producers, has pointed and TCed, done loads of Pony Club, teaches and has 4 to event regularly, plus rides and keeps her horses with someone who is a ground person for a top 4* rider. But looks just like you on paper and has a horse that looks less experienced than yours. Someone else I know moves horses up quickly (with generally poor dressage) but hunts multiple horses in big country all season. Are these fair comparisons? 

Competing horses is nothing like school or even business, the numbers tell very little. If you want to gauge things that way, no one can stop you but I'm surprised your experienced trainers think that's applicable.


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

Can I have their names?  Then I can stalk them on bdwp and feel bad that I'm not as good as they are.  (Kidding.)  

I honestly don't do it all that much - but yes, I'm nosy!  I want to know how and why and when and what if.  Sadly, though, it's difficult to approach people and ask them why they're amazing.  I've not tried it, but suspect I'd come across as unhinged.  Oh, wait.... (that's right, I do anyway).


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## humblepie (25 April 2014)

It is very difficult not to compare yourself with how others are doing/getting on and as TS has said you don't know what they are doing with the rest of their week, what riding they do, how much support they get, what facilities etc they have so you are probably comparing apples with oranges not apples with apples if you know what I mean.  I used to be really bad at it but then would sometimes step back and say, hey that person does it full time as their job or that person has a full time groom, lorry worth more than my house and they are not doing any better than we are (or at least in that particular class). 

There are not many other sports where as a weekend rider (for want of a better phrase although that means riding 6 days a week but one horse after work) you can go and compete for the same first prize in the same section on the same terms as an Olympic competitor.  Its one of the things that make it so much fun when it does go well.


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

humblepie said:



			It is very difficult not to compare yourself with how others are doing/getting on and as TS has said you don't know what they are doing with the rest of their week, what riding they do, how much support they get, what facilities etc they have so you are probably comparing apples with oranges not apples with apples if you know what I mean.  I used to be really bad at it but then would sometimes step back and say, hey that person does it full time as their job or that person has a full time groom, lorry worth more than my house and they are not doing any better than we are (or at least in that particular class). 

There are not many other sports where as a weekend rider (for want of a better phrase although that means riding 6 days a week but one horse after work) you can go and compete for the same first prize in the same section on the same terms as an Olympic competitor.  Its one of the things that make it so much fun when it does go well.
		
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You!  I have a bone to pick with you.  I would like it to go on record that, for both of the events in this report, I was wearing pants.  

Yes, I don't really compare myself to pros - I more stalk those who only seem to have one horse and seem to do well.  But I don't do it that much, and when I say that "everyone" could do it better than I do, I don't necessarily mean the "everyones" that I'm busy stalking on bdwp, I mean that more nebulous "everyones"... The average man on the Clapham omnibus.


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

smja said:



			I'm another who loves reading your reports!

I'm only at 100, but last year I rode xc like a tool. A winter of trips out hunting, xc schooling sessions with trainer told to give me a kick up the backside, riding round entire course chanting to self "pay attention, trainer will kill you if you muck it up again" = clear in first event this year. That works for me, because I always do better if someone else is pushing me - self-doubt creeps in if I let it.  Having a trusted experienced person tell me that we are capable of doing something feels, to me, like a security blanket with which I can ward off the demons.
		
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It's useful to have a security blanket!


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## humblepie (25 April 2014)

Must have been the wrong pants....I remain in awe of you anyway just for the size of cross country fences you jump.  It is just that you sound very much like me on the comparing to others front.   I did a sports physcology session (just the one and as you will see never learnt how to spell it) and that did help.

By the way, man on the Clapham omnibus - I am in the same profession as you, perhaps are minds are alike.  Scary.  My horse's name is also very similar to yours.  Oh no, sounds like I am stalking you now as well in a strange way.


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## TarrSteps (25 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Can I have their names?  Then I can stalk them on bdwp and feel bad that I'm not as good as they are.  (Kidding.)  

I honestly don't do it all that much - but yes, I'm nosy!  I want to know how and why and when and what if.  Sadly, though, it's difficult to approach people and ask them why they're amazing.  I've not tried it, but suspect I'd come across as unhinged.  Oh, wait.... (that's right, I do anyway).
		
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You've mentioned comparing your achievements multiple times but I think we've belaboured the point.  I think once is once too often but hey ho. 

My only issue is it reduces the horse to a machine which I'm not okay with. He should do what you want because you want it and you have decided to prepare him and yourself in the way that suits your life. That's fine - compromise is part of life. But compromise comes at a cost. Maybe something has changed? Maybe he needs something more/different from you now? I'm not saying that is the case but I don't see how, having produced one horse to this level, you can be sure either. 

I'm sure people are lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks for me already, but I'm not convinced this is all about your 'mental game'. The fact is producing an event horse well takes a lot of time and effort. Keeping it there takes more. I'm not saying you can't do it - clearly you can! But if it's all about you then that's quite easy - you just have to find the right book/shrink/exercise. Making it about going xc schooling more often, say, is much harder because you say that's not an option. But if it's not important why do so many good programs xc school so often? If dressage training is an extra why do top riders get GP riders on their horses? You don't even have the excuse of being happy to fill the class, you want to compete. You say you can't get this info because you can't ask people but the info is all out there. Books, clinics, asking trainers. (Out of curiosity does your coach prep his own horses mostly in the school?) In actual fact, you'll get pretty consistent answers but all those people learned the same way, buy copying successful people and then adding their own experience.


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## humblepie (25 April 2014)

TS - I am not lighting a pitchfork.  I would personally never have considered the "mental" aspect years ago.  I think it is a two prong attack with an unlit pitchfork.


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## khalswitz (25 April 2014)

humblepie said:



			TS - I am not lighting a pitchfork.  I would personally never have considered the "mental" aspect years ago.  I think it is a two prong attack with an unlit pitchfork.
		
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Love the idea of lighting a pitchfork.


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## kerilli (25 April 2014)

Viv, if you want someone's result to pore over, check mine. Same rider, same 'system', which reduces the variables hugely... various horses over the years all pretty much produced from scratch (and birth in a couple of cases), good trainers, lots of careful analysis of how they're going and what they need, the benefit of having been there before, by now. 
In a perfect world I'd aim to do a few BE100s, then Novices (about 10-12), CCI, crack on with Intermediates, a season or so of those and then Adv. 
But then I have to factor in EXACTLY how that horse feels in every situation and that changes things HUGELY. My current mare has done WAY more BE100s (and BE90s, come to think of it!) than I would have ideally liked, but that's just what she needed. I hope she's ready to step up to N now, she definitely feels as if she is, but... we'll see. 
If I compared her age and progress to x other horse I'd go utterly crazy or slit my wrists. ANY other horse is a totally different case, let alone other riders' effects on them, with their specific talents, instincts, facilities, systems, habits, etc. 

I think you need to spend a lot more time thinking about YOUR horse and how to stick the wheels back on for both of you (and build genuine, cope-with-whatever-we-meet confidence, not based on 'fake it till you make it', which in a XC context makes me want to get downright STABBY, sorry). Watch vids, read books, choose the exercises you do very carefully, choose your trainers VERY carefully (I know nothing of who you train with, that is just based on my own experiences!) and do the work to get to where you want to be. That's all. 
Sorry if that sounds harsh. Very best of luck.


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## Kelpie (25 April 2014)

Right, if you're up for some comparing, how about this:

As you know, my little Fin is great but his legs are just too short for me to have the heart to ask him to step up to Novice.  So, got warmblood no 1 and she ends up off games with PSD.  warmblood no 2, now 5 this year, dislocated my shoulder breaking her last year and then later broke herself in a fireworks related field accident... she's coming back into work now but she's basically a year behind.  warmblood no 3 I got in January by way of retail therapy - showing promise but I got her as a bit of a punt, as her x-rays on purchase showed up kissing spines (she's 6yo and previously had a dressage career, so she's now learning all about jumping and probably won't be eventing until next year).

So, when I first saw you out on clinics (and, I might add, very much admired you and your horse!), I was thinking to myself that I'd be off doing a similar thing to you fairly soon, but two broken horses and one broken me later, I'm still very much behind schedule!!!

Now, I want you to consider your butt well and truly kicked.  Comparisons to others are pointless.  They do nothing but make you feel bad and mores to the point don't take into account enough factors.  

To do really well on one horse is virtually a miracle in itself.  Think about how many people have multiple horses and don't get as far as you already have? (including me, I might add!!).  Have you actually compared all the one horse riders (or even multiple horse riders) who haven't got as far as you have???  So, think about how blooming wonderful it is to have achieved what you have and worry about looking at yourself and judging your improvements against yourself only, not against others.  

Now, stop beating yourself up.  Get out on a few more clinics.  Kick on!!

xxxxx


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## Horsemad12 (25 April 2014)

TarrSteps said:



			You've mentioned comparing your achievements multiple times but I think we've belaboured the point.  I think once is once too often but hey ho. 

My only issue is it reduces the horse to a machine which I'm not okay with. He should do what you want because you want it and you have decided to prepare him and yourself in the way that suits your life. That's fine - compromise is part of life. But compromise comes at a cost. Maybe something has changed? Maybe he needs something more/different from you now? I'm not saying that is the case but I don't see how, having produced one horse to this level, you can be sure either. 

I'm sure people are lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks for me already, but I'm not convinced this is all about your 'mental game'. The fact is producing an event horse well takes a lot of time and effort. Keeping it there takes more. I'm not saying you can't do it - clearly you can! But if it's all about you then that's quite easy - you just have to find the right book/shrink/exercise. Making it about going xc schooling more often, say, is much harder because you say that's not an option. But if it's not important why do so many good programs xc school so often? If dressage training is an extra why do top riders get GP riders on their horses? You don't even have the excuse of being happy to fill the class, you want to compete. You say you can't get this info because you can't ask people but the info is all out there. Books, clinics, asking trainers. (Out of curiosity does your coach prep his own horses mostly in the school?) In actual fact, you'll get pretty consistent answers but all those people learned the same way, buy copying successful people and then adding their own experience.
		
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I think everyone has a point.  

Everyone I know "stalks" the results on BDWP both those who event and those that don't.  I dread the next day text which often comes the day after a bad result asking what happened but it is part of the sport these days.  One thing I have learnt is to try only to dissect things with my instructor and not get too many different opinions.  Honestly......we all compare ourselves to others, the danger comes when you try and keep up with others or lose heart when you don't. 

The mental and for want of a better word physical parts of riding are so inter twinned that I don't think you can separate them.  OP - You have had a blip or two, I have also had a blip or two at the start of this year, it happens (sadly).

I suspect the mental hangup means that you are not riding skinny fences in the same way as you were last year when it was going really well.  I suspect that Vito senses that and had perhaps lost a little confidence, is unhappy with the change, maybe taking advantage......who knows.

Unlike a pro you (we) only have one horse, we have to re built the pieces with that one horse.  It may take a little longer than just popping on another 3 horses as the same event to get rid of the memory but it can be done.

Personally I think that Tarrsteps is correct and the best way of doing this is practice and as they say the right practice.  IMHO (and agreed with by my instructor who I think is pretty experienced (did I mention I had a similar skinny / corner issue)) that does not have to be on the XC course, it can be done in an arena IF you have the right tools for the job.  On my lesson last night we did technical questions with skinnies and corners that would not look out of place in an advanced (but at Nov dimensions).  It was perfect practice for getting your line, turns and getting the horses eye in.  Of course it does not replace XC but there is no where within a 2 hrs drive for me that would have anything anywhere close as technical as we did last night.

I hope you can get out and get some confidence giving practice in be it in the form of lessons, schooling or competing and hope things get better soon.


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## TarrSteps (25 April 2014)

khalswitz said:



			Love the idea of lighting a pitchfork. 

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It's all a bit 'Young Frankenstein'!


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

humblepie said:



			Must have been the wrong pants....I remain in awe of you anyway just for the size of cross country fences you jump.  It is just that you sound very much like me on the comparing to others front.   I did a sports physcology session (just the one and as you will see never learnt how to spell it) and that did help.

By the way, man on the Clapham omnibus - I am in the same profession as you, perhaps are minds are alike.  Scary.  My horse's name is also very similar to yours.  Oh no, sounds like I am stalking you now as well in a strange way.
		
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Really!  You poor thing!  In London?  There are a few Vitos lurking about - Vitos Morka?  Well, Kerilli's just alerted me to the fact that I can't spell "pore" as opposed to "pour" and that really does make me feel inadequate.    



TarrSteps said:



			You've mentioned comparing your achievements multiple times but I think we've belaboured the point.  I think once is once too often but hey ho. 

My only issue is it reduces the horse to a machine which I'm not okay with. He should do what you want because you want it and you have decided to prepare him and yourself in the way that suits your life. That's fine - compromise is part of life. But compromise comes at a cost. Maybe something has changed? Maybe he needs something more/different from you now? I'm not saying that is the case but I don't see how, having produced one horse to this level, you can be sure either. 

I'm sure people are lighting their torches and sharpening their pitchforks for me already, but I'm not convinced this is all about your 'mental game'. The fact is producing an event horse well takes a lot of time and effort. Keeping it there takes more. I'm not saying you can't do it - clearly you can! But if it's all about you then that's quite easy - you just have to find the right book/shrink/exercise. Making it about going xc schooling more often, say, is much harder because you say that's not an option. But if it's not important why do so many good programs xc school so often? If dressage training is an extra why do top riders get GP riders on their horses? You don't even have the excuse of being happy to fill the class, you want to compete. You say you can't get this info because you can't ask people but the info is all out there. Books, clinics, asking trainers. (Out of curiosity does your coach prep his own horses mostly in the school?) In actual fact, you'll get pretty consistent answers but all those people learned the same way, buy copying successful people and then adding their own experience.
		
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XC schooling is awkward - it is.  I'm a 30 min drive from the yard, a 1.5 hr drive from the yard to the nearest XC course.  But I can do more of it (I've got a XC lesson tomorrow) it just takes more organisation and more time away from husband and baby (and friends and socialising and running and and and) than arena work.  But there we are.  I don't know whether he prepares his horse in the arena!  I've never actually asked.  



humblepie said:



			TS - I am not lighting a pitchfork.  I would personally never have considered the "mental" aspect years ago.  I think it is a two prong attack with an unlit pitchfork.
		
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The mens rea and the actus reus.  Quite.  



khalswitz said:



			Love the idea of lighting a pitchfork. 

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With straw on it?



kerilli said:



			Viv, if you want someone's result to pore over, check mine. Same rider, same 'system', which reduces the variables hugely... various horses over the years all pretty much produced from scratch (and birth in a couple of cases), good trainers, lots of careful analysis of how they're going and what they need, the benefit of having been there before, by now. 
In a perfect world I'd aim to do a few BE100s, then Novices (about 10-12), CCI, crack on with Intermediates, a season or so of those and then Adv. 
But then I have to factor in EXACTLY how that horse feels in every situation and that changes things HUGELY. My current mare has done WAY more BE100s than I would have ideally liked, but that's just what she needed. I hope she's ready to step up to N now, she definitely feels as if she is, but... we'll see. 
If I compared her age and progress to x other horse I'd go utterly crazy or slit my wrists. ANY other horse is a totally different case, let alone other riders' effects on them, with their specific talents, instincts, facilities, systems, habits, etc. 

I think you need to spend a lot more time thinking about YOUR horse and how to stick the wheels back on for both of you (and build genuine, cope-with-whatever-we-meet confidence, not based on 'fake it till you make it', which in a XC context makes me want to get downright STABBY, sorry). Watch vids, read books, choose the exercises you do very carefully, choose your trainers VERY carefully (I know nothing of who you train with, that is just based on my own experiences!) and do the work to get to where you want to be. That's all. 
Sorry if that sounds harsh. Very best of luck.
		
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And I can't spell "pore".  Yes, I think the fake -it-til-you-make-it reference was more to perception than to riding.  His point was not that I should be entering the nearest Advanced class and throwing myself round it, but rather that I shouldn't use every opportunity to tell everyone how useless I am.  Based on a conversation in which I complained that everyone thought I was useless, and his subsequent observation that this may be because I generally tell everyone that I am useless.  But I am useless.  Oh, hang on, I think that may have been his point.....


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## kerilli (25 April 2014)

Is the flippancy a coping mechanism, or a cop out? Because I am pretty sure you are very very intelligent, and it looks to me like one or the other, and I genuinely can't tell which. 
I meant my last big paragraph, every word. I am trying to be helpful here... I've been eventing since '88, and I have seen the wheels fall of a LOT of horses (and riders) over the years, and get put back on again... and felt the odd big wobble myself. It is amazing how far they can go if they are kept confident and happy... that really is all. 
*takes pointy boots off*


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

Kelpie said:



			Right, if you're up for some comparing, how about this:

As you know, my little Fin is great but his legs are just too short for me to have the heart to ask him to step up to Novice.  So, got warmblood no 1 and she ends up off games with PSD.  warmblood no 2, now 5 this year, dislocated my shoulder breaking her last year and then later broke herself in a fireworks related field accident... she's coming back into work now but she's basically a year behind.  warmblood no 3 I got in January by way of retail therapy - showing promise but I got her as a bit of a punt, as her x-rays on purchase showed up kissing spines (she's 6yo and previously had a dressage career, so she's now learning all about jumping and probably won't be eventing until next year).

So, when I first saw you out on clinics (and, I might add, very much admired you and your horse!), I was thinking to myself that I'd be off doing a similar thing to you fairly soon, but two broken horses and one broken me later, I'm still very much behind schedule!!!

Now, I want you to consider your butt well and truly kicked.  Comparisons to others are pointless.  They do nothing but make you feel bad and mores to the point don't take into account enough factors.  

To do really well on one horse is virtually a miracle in itself.  Think about how many people have multiple horses and don't get as far as you already have? (including me, I might add!!).  Have you actually compared all the one horse riders (or even multiple horse riders) who haven't got as far as you have???  So, think about how blooming wonderful it is to have achieved what you have and worry about looking at yourself and judging your improvements against yourself only, not against others.  

Now, stop beating yourself up.  Get out on a few more clinics.  Kick on!!

xxxxx
		
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Oh no, sorry to hear about 1, 2 and 3. I hope that 3 comes through for you, and shoulders are very very painful when they fall out.   



Horsemad12 said:



			I think everyone has a point.  

Everyone I know "stalks" the results on BDWP both those who event and those that don't.  I dread the next day text which often comes the day after a bad result asking what happened but it is part of the sport these days.  One thing I have learnt is to try only to dissect things with my instructor and not get too many different opinions.  Honestly......we all compare ourselves to others, the danger comes when you try and keep up with others or lose heart when you don't. 

The mental and for want of a better word physical parts of riding are so inter twinned that I don't think you can separate them.  OP - You have had a blip or two, I have also had a blip or two at the start of this year, it happens (sadly).

I suspect the mental hangup means that you are not riding skinny fences in the same way as you were last year when it was going really well.  I suspect that Vito senses that and had perhaps lost a little confidence, is unhappy with the change, maybe taking advantage......who knows.

Unlike a pro you (we) only have one horse, we have to re built the pieces with that one horse.  It may take a little longer than just popping on another 3 horses as the same event to get rid of the memory but it can be done.

Personally I think that Tarrsteps is correct and the best way of doing this is practice and as they say the right practice.  IMHO (and agreed with by my instructor who I think is pretty experienced (did I mention I had a similar skinny / corner issue)) that does not have to be on the XC course, it can be done in an arena IF you have the right tools for the job.  On my lesson last night we did technical questions with skinnies and corners that would not look out of place in an advanced (but at Nov dimensions).  It was perfect practice for getting your line, turns and getting the horses eye in.  Of course it does not replace XC but there is no where within a 2 hrs drive for me that would have anything anywhere close as technical as we did last night.

I hope you can get out and get some confidence giving practice in be it in the form of lessons, schooling or competing and hope things get better soon.
		
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Yes, think you are right!


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## HotToTrot (25 April 2014)

kerilli said:



			I am pretty sure you are very very intelligent
		
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God, no.

Thank you for being helpful - I appreciate it, as I think you know.

Flippancy has been known to feature in some of my posts, and it probably helps to make them moderately amusing (if indeed they are) - apologies if I misjudged the tone a bit this time.


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## kerilli (25 April 2014)

Ok, sorry. My bad. 
I see a capable rider with a potentially very good horse and I just think you need to find the right trainer(s) and keep at it (with smaller fences, nothing bigger than N for now, keep the window of error bigger for both of you, if it comes to it) until you can both cope with the slips and trips, slightly duff lines and strides, and god knows what that can ALWAYS happen out on the xc. There is absolutely NO shame, ever, in saying "not quite ready to do x level just YET", especially when necks are literally on the line. 
The step up to Int is big, there's absolutely no way around it. A decent honest horse can cope absolutely fine with Novice but ime the width of the fences as well as the technicality, at Int, really do shrink the window of error. A good Pro on a confident horse makes it look easy, of course, but if there are chinks in your armour then they will show. But those chinks can be totally mended with the right exercises and experiences, I honestly believe that. 
Also, I've fallen prey to the 'flying at the end of the season, come out the next year and it feels just the same but doesn't work the same, inexplicably' trap. It's a bit bewildering.  
Get some good runs under your belt. I wouldn't go for the time, I'd go for a nice rhythmical breezy xc round that you both enjoy. Repeat. Repeat until it is just fun again for both of you. Then when Novice rounds feel easypeasy again, when you don't have a worried moment, when the horse copes FINE with whatever you meet (and that might well include less than ideal spots and lines, so be it, that's where I am right now with mine!), then you think about stepping up.


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## milliepops (25 April 2014)

Have read the whole thread - I usually read your reports as they really tickle me.  So much of what you have experienced resonates with me (excl the baby!) - to the point where I'm just getting started on the Chimp Paradox solely because of previous threads of yours 

With a cool-headed outsider's point of view though, I think TarrSteps and Kerilli have hit the nail on the head re the practice and homework that truly successful combinations put in. I think you have to be honest and realistic about what you can achieve and expect from yourself *given the time/facilities/limitations you have as an amateur rider*.
This is partly why I had to make myself give up eventing (apart from my amazingness at being unable to earn a proper salary )  My little horse is a complete star but I don't have the transport, money or time to be able to cart her off here, there and everywhere to practice the things we were both weaker at. In addition as she's a 15hh part bred we had physical limitations too!  I'm not suggesting for a moment that you should quit. Your horse is clearly talented and it sounds like you enjoy it on a good day.  But I think you have to stop setting unofficial targets for yourself about moving up etc because you will just end up as frustrated and crushed as I was!  That's not to say you shouldn't be ambitions or strive to be as good as you can be. But if you really can't get out and practice as much as would be 100% ideal, then you have to allow for that and accept it if you have a wobble on the day.

I swapped disciplines to dressage, which is more about the journey for me and it's something I can poddle around with on my own with some lessons when there is time and money.  I'm still being reminded about the 'unofficial target' thing even now, as Millie was aimed at Adv Med this year and since I decided that, she has broken herself, twice  so we're unlikely to even go to a show this year... but I think I'm becoming more philosophical about it and in less of a rush, plus I have totally stopped comparing my performance because I compete so rarely (on Millie at least, Armas is a different matter entirely!  different kind of self-induced pressure)


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## milliepops (25 April 2014)

Further thoughts on this... actually reflecting on my experiences dragged up some buried emotions!  My last unofficial eventing target was a cci* which I got to with much blood, sweat and tears. We navigated round the xc before getting eliminated at the penultimate fence. Tabledancer was there that day and would probably agree that I made some daft errors... probably attributable to a lack of experience.  I posted a thread here after that and got some similar tough love from some of the people on this thread. I felt a bit deeply humiliated at the time as a result and now realise my pride was a bit of a hindrance as I was expecting far too much from myself given how difficult it can be to drag yourself up the levels. Ive been the same in all aspects of my life.. I demand success even when it's completely unreasonable to do so! What would you say to someone else in your position?  Bet you wouldn't be beating them up for not keeping up with their (apparent) peers?

I think the whole experience was the making of me as a rider... hasn't made me any more proficient but I think I'm more realistic/accepting now. I get more satisfaction from my riding now. Plus I probably DO the same amount of homework as pro's now (I'm just not as good as them so it takes a lot longer to get through it!)


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

kerilli said:



			Ok, sorry. My bad. 
I see a capable rider with a potentially very good horse and I just think you need to find the right trainer(s) and keep at it (with smaller fences, nothing bigger than N for now, keep the window of error bigger for both of you, if it comes to it) until you can both cope with the slips and trips, slightly duff lines and strides, and god knows what that can ALWAYS happen out on the xc. There is absolutely NO shame, ever, in saying "not quite ready to do x level just YET", especially when necks are literally on the line. 
The step up to Int is big, there's absolutely no way around it. A decent honest horse can cope absolutely fine with Novice but ime the width of the fences as well as the technicality, at Int, really do shrink the window of error. A good Pro on a confident horse makes it look easy, of course, but if there are chinks in your armour then they will show. But those chinks can be totally mended with the right exercises and experiences, I honestly believe that. 
Also, I've fallen prey to the 'flying at the end of the season, come out the next year and it feels just the same but doesn't work the same, inexplicably' trap. It's a bit bewildering.  
Get some good runs under your belt. I wouldn't go for the time, I'd go for a nice rhythmical breezy xc round that you both enjoy. Repeat. Repeat until it is just fun again for both of you. Then when Novice rounds feel easypeasy again, when you don't have a worried moment, when the horse copes FINE with whatever you meet (and that might well include less than ideal spots and lines, so be it, that's where I am right now with mine!), then you think about stepping up. 

Click to expand...

Yes, I'm planning to do gallons of homework on skinnies, lines, angles, corners.  And then back to Novice.  Though it's tricky, I have had good runs this yr.  and then promptly followed up with a bad one! Need to be consistently having good runs again.....



milliepops said:



			Further thoughts on this... actually reflecting on my experiences dragged up some buried emotions!  My last unofficial eventing target was a cci* which I got to with much blood, sweat and tears. We navigated round the xc before getting eliminated at the penultimate fence. Tabledancer was there that day and would probably agree that I made some daft errors... probably attributable to a lack of experience.  I posted a thread here after that and got some similar tough love from some of the people on this thread. I felt a bit deeply humiliated at the time as a result and now realise my pride was a bit of a hindrance as I was expecting far too much from myself given how difficult it can be to drag yourself up the levels. Ive been the same in all aspects of my life.. I demand success even when it's completely unreasonable to do so! What would you say to someone else in your position?  Bet you wouldn't be beating them up for not keeping up with their (apparent) peers?

I think the whole experience was the making of me as a rider... hasn't made me any more proficient but I think I'm more realistic/accepting now. I get more satisfaction from my riding now. Plus I probably DO the same amount of homework as pro's now (I'm just not as good as them so it takes a lot longer to get through it!)
		
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Oh no, sorry your CCI din't go to plan.  I think that managing one's expectations is v sensible - though then you have to balance it with wanting to go on and improve!


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## Darremi (26 April 2014)

If you can get your hands on some old oil barrels they make excellent skinnies. If you stand them upright the rounded profile makes it slightly harder for the horse.

Start with some guide poles on each side and once you are confident and the horse is locking on, take the poles away.

I regularly pop two upright barrels just for practice. Some people can even do an individual barrel!

Are you aiming for a CCI1*?


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

Well, my worry with an oil barrel is that if you hit it, isn't it bad news?  Though I have done it in the past!  I've made some v skinny skinnies from chopped off jump wings (to 1.15) and chopped off poles.  

No, not aiming for CCI*.  They seem to require a lot of holiday allowance.  Houghton seemed to need you to be there on the Tuesday for a trot up, even though dressage only started on Thurs!  I don't entirely have a plan, event-wise.   My trainer told me to get out and get on with it, but I'm not sure that's right.  Seems silly to go off and enter more events, when there's currently a chance that I could have a problem at something.


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## MegaBeast (26 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			I don't know about dropping down to 100. I agree there's a confidence issues, but it's a bit deeper than that.  I had a perfectly pleasant run at SoE Novice, it all felt rather boringly do-able, but then I still managed to stuff up the following wkd, still at Nov! I think it's about accuracy, control and speed.
		
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Apologies if this has been said already but I haven't finishes reading through yet.

Yes you have had a decent number of runs at Novice, but how many of those are since you had a couple of blips stepping up?  Are you subconsciously putting pressure in yourself now at Novice saying this "should" be easy as you feel you should be going up a grade?


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## Darremi (26 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Well, my worry with an oil barrel is that if you hit it, isn't it bad news?  Though I have done it in the past!  I've made some v skinny skinnies from chopped off jump wings (to 1.15) and chopped off poles.  

No, not aiming for CCI*.  They seem to require a lot of holiday allowance.  Houghton seemed to need you to be there on the Tuesday for a trot up, even though dressage only started on Thurs!  I don't entirely have a plan, event-wise.   My trainer told me to get out and get on with it, but I'm not sure that's right.  Seems silly to go off and enter more events, when there's currently a chance that I could have a problem at something.
		
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We have plastic oil barrels which are harmless when the horse hits them. I agree metal are a bit dodgy looking!


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

Mm, I did about 10 Novs, a CIC* and an Int last yr, all blip-free.  Yes, I definitely think Nov should be easy, because it should be (oh God, I'm going to get told off again by TarrSteps).  I'm off for my XC lesson!


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## Darremi (26 April 2014)

Good luck!

Take it easy and do things slowly to begin with .


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## MegaBeast (26 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			But - here's the but - to enjoy it, I have to feel that it's an achievement.  So I'd have to go out and jump big tracks, so I felt it was hard, and I'm not sure I should be pushing myself in too many spheres at the same time!
		
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I suspect this could be the root of your issues and I suffer from the same mental conundrum.  I always have to feel I'm pushing boundaries and making progress the whole time.  I gain very little satisfaction from operating well within my/my horse's comfort zone, I'm always wanting to go that little further.  I am , of course, very aware that it's crucial to consolidate a level before stepping up with horses but there's always that mental tussle of wanting to go further.  My current horse performed very well at BE100 as a 5 yr old and whilst very pleased with him, I of course started planning this year with the step up to Novice very much in mind.  That is all now abandoned as he's been mildly lame for the last 2 months but I couldn't explain why I feel the need to keep pushing on!  

If anyone has the answer to this I would love to hear it.


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## WellyBaggins (26 April 2014)

I feel your pain, you should look at my record, it will make you feel 1,000,000 times better  I work with horses and have been trying to event since 2000, I have not yet got round a BE100 and still manage to make a complete F-up over a90cm fence at home :O I am a tidy rider (stage 4) school and break other peoples horses in, my ex advanced event rider rates me too, she left me her horse to school whilst she was on holiday (unless she is lying ) but circumstances (lame horses, problem horses, no money to buy another one) mean I am still cack and will probably remain so!!!!!!!!!  It will come, take some pressure off yourself and see what happens


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## abb123 (26 April 2014)

MegaBeast said:



			I suspect this could be the root of your issues and I suffer from the same mental conundrum.  I always have to feel I'm pushing boundaries and making progress the whole time.  I gain very little satisfaction from operating well within my/my horse's comfort zone, I'm always wanting to go that little further.  I am , of course, very aware that it's crucial to consolidate a level before stepping up with horses but there's always that mental tussle of wanting to go further.  My current horse performed very well at BE100 as a 5 yr old and whilst very pleased with him, I of course started planning this year with the step up to Novice very much in mind.  That is all now abandoned as he's been mildly lame for the last 2 months but I couldn't explain why I feel the need to keep pushing on!  

If anyone has the answer to this I would love to hear it.
		
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I'm not particularly competitive/experienced so have no technical points to add. 

I am though extremely competitive in my career and a few things stand out to me that strike a chord. I think you are also quite career minded too outside of horses if I remember correctly. Are you generally an over achiever?

It seems to me that you are very driven and very ambitious. You judge how well you are doing by comparing where you are up to with how others have proceeded. This isn't particularly healthy in any aspect of life. It is something that I have done and am now regretting moving myself forward so quickly and not giving myself time to perfect my work skills and gain the experience necessary.

I'd agree with the above poster that you are setting yourself up to feel that you have only achieved something when you are pushing yourself to the next level. Such as finding a Novice easy/ completing an Intermediate etc. It seems to me that once you have completed one thing it is like you think 'tick - done that, move on to the next or else I'm not progressing'. By doing that you are missing the targets that will make a Novice easy and will mean that you can progress up to Intermediate successfully. 

What I am trying to do is to slow myself down by breaking my overall goals into much smaller targets. So for example, for you, rather than seeing each event as a whole (i.e. I have completed 10 novices therefore novice should be easy), you say I want a consistent dressage score of under 30, I want a consistent show jumping round that I ride competently, I can deal with all eventualities on the XC competently and consistently. If you are regularly missing things at novice level then this isn't the case. The sense of achievement comes from doing all these aspects well without the sense of having winged it and not just in completing. You need to find the perfectionist side of you!

I do hope you continue to compete and that you keep writing these posts, they are very enjoyable to read.


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## Darremi (26 April 2014)

abb123 said:



			I'm not particularly competitive/experienced so have no technical points to add. 

I am though extremely competitive in my career and a few things stand out to me that strike a chord. I think you are also quite career minded too outside of horses if I remember correctly. Are you generally an over achiever?

It seems to me that you are very driven and very ambitious. You judge how well you are doing by comparing where you are up to with how others have proceeded. This isn't particularly healthy in any aspect of life. It is something that I have done and am now regretting moving myself forward so quickly and not giving myself time to perfect my work skills and gain the experience necessary.

I'd agree with the above poster that you are setting yourself up to feel that you have only achieved something when you are pushing yourself to the next level. Such as finding a Novice easy/ completing an Intermediate etc. It seems to me that once you have completed one thing it is like you think 'tick - done that, move on to the next or else I'm not progressing'. By doing that you are missing the targets that will make a Novice easy and will mean that you can progress up to Intermediate successfully. 

What I am trying to do is to slow myself down by breaking my overall goals into much smaller targets. So for example, for you, rather than seeing each event as a whole (i.e. I have completed 10 novices therefore novice should be easy), you say I want a consistent dressage score of under 30, I want a consistent show jumping round that I ride competently, I can deal with all eventualities on the XC competently and consistently. If you are regularly missing things at novice level then this isn't the case. The sense of achievement comes from doing all these aspects well without the sense of having winged it and not just in completing. You need to find the perfectionist side of you!

I do hope you continue to compete and that you keep writing these posts, they are very enjoyable to read.
		
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I am completely the same as those who say they only feel validated when they are moving up a grade. I lost half of last season with a broken collar bone and felt like the entire season was a write off because I only managed to get to CCI* level when my goal had been CCI2*.

For some reason in my mind I do not consider Novice an achievement and that is why I have pushed my young horse up the grades with very little miles on the clock. For me I consider a clear XC at Intermediate to be worth more than a placing/win at Novice even if the SJ and dressage at Intermediate are severely lacking!! 

It is a mentality that is very difficult to shake. But it also means that you take the knocks very hard.


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## MrsMozart (26 April 2014)

I don't have a 100th of the experience the other folks on here have, but having read the thread, here's my view:

You're obviously a very driven and very capable person. But (you just knew there was going to be a 'but' didn't you!), you need to get it right at the level you're at before going up. Getting it right, which in competitive terms means coming first each time, should be your validation. Moving up before you and the horse are ready is for you, and not for the partnership that is you and your horse.

You also have to really consider your goals and your priorities. XC schooling or hubby, baby, socializing. It's not wrong to go either way, you do what is right for you and yours, but there comes a level where you have to make a choice (and this is one area I do know a lot about!).


By the way, I think you're blinking wonderful for giving it a damn good shot *waits to hear the click of user ignore*


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## oap (26 April 2014)

I feel for you. I too am a one horse, full time grown up job amateur, with horse at home, trying to be competitive at novice. It's hard. We were good at 100, won a couple, went to badminton grassroots. First few novices ok, but we've had a hard time this season. Nothing has gone quite right. I spend money on training - go to francis whittington every week, have a list 1 judge for flat work, but it is still hard. When I have real trouble ( I have a stopper) francis gets on for 10 mins and sorts him out. He has ridden all the tracks so has advice about how to ride... It's so helpful. I don't want to put a pro up, he's my horse and I want to ride him, but its great to have one to help from the sidelines.
Never mind, you write beautifully, even if you dont think you can ride  
Keep entering, keep running. It'll get better. Be grateful it's not your living!


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## kerilli (26 April 2014)

^^^ this, too. Until you are very experienced, good advice from a Pro is absolutely invaluable. I can't count the times that I thought "oh, that fence is ok" as I walked a course, only to have a Pro say "hang on, have you considered x" or "don't be fooled, this one always rides like y". It saved me and my horses a LOT of grief, quite literally. A trainer who knows the courses and will give you advice is absolutely worth having, whatever it takes.


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

MegaBeast said:



			I suspect this could be the root of your issues and I suffer from the same mental conundrum.  I always have to feel I'm pushing boundaries and making progress the whole time.  I gain very little satisfaction from operating well within my/my horse's comfort zone, I'm always wanting to go that little further.  I am , of course, very aware that it's crucial to consolidate a level before stepping up with horses but there's always that mental tussle of wanting to go further.  My current horse performed very well at BE100 as a 5 yr old and whilst very pleased with him, I of course started planning this year with the step up to Novice very much in mind.  That is all now abandoned as he's been mildly lame for the last 2 months but I couldn't explain why I feel the need to keep pushing on!  

If anyone has the answer to this I would love to hear it.
		
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I guess it's just in your nature - you want to feel that you're achieving things and that you're good, so as soon as something becomes easy, you look for a greater challenge!  Sorry about your horse's lameness, I hope it improves.  



WellyBaggins said:



			I feel your pain, you should look at my record, it will make you feel 1,000,000 times better  I work with horses and have been trying to event since 2000, I have not yet got round a BE100 and still manage to make a complete F-up over a90cm fence at home :O I am a tidy rider (stage 4) school and break other peoples horses in, my ex advanced event rider rates me too, she left me her horse to school whilst she was on holiday (unless she is lying ) but circumstances (lame horses, problem horses, no money to buy another one) mean I am still cack and will probably remain so!!!!!!!!!  It will come, take some pressure off yourself and see what happens 

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Ha, the comparison thing is a one way street.  I feel bad when I'm worse than other people, not good when I'm better!  Sounds v frustrating, but at least you know you're a decent rider!


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## morrismob (26 April 2014)

Hi h2t, I have read most of the replies and just one thing springs to mind. Have you checked your horse out physically, perhaps with your physio. I am sure you have but my daughter and her boy have made the jump to Novice and it has not been plain sailing at all ! Now we thought it was the huge jump for both of them from a solid 100 record to Novice. We did lots of xc schooling in between the 3 events. It is hard to reproduce the exact adrenaline state as eventing but also hard to find true Novice level schooling in our area. 

We took horse to a Hunter Trial Pairs at 90cm to try and build up his confidence, same result although he then went beautifully in the individual class. Called out the physio and he was sore so we are now dealing with that and going down to 90 and will build up again.

He had a full MOT before the season and showed no other signs. I am sure you have covered all of this but felt it worth a mention. This thread has been very interesting to read and wish you well. Don't give up !


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

abb123 said:



			I'm not particularly competitive/experienced so have no technical points to add. 

I am though extremely competitive in my career and a few things stand out to me that strike a chord. I think you are also quite career minded too outside of horses if I remember correctly. Are you generally an over achiever?

It seems to me that you are very driven and very ambitious. You judge how well you are doing by comparing where you are up to with how others have proceeded. This isn't particularly healthy in any aspect of life. It is something that I have done and am now regretting moving myself forward so quickly and not giving myself time to perfect my work skills and gain the experience necessary.

I'd agree with the above poster that you are setting yourself up to feel that you have only achieved something when you are pushing yourself to the next level. Such as finding a Novice easy/ completing an Intermediate etc. It seems to me that once you have completed one thing it is like you think 'tick - done that, move on to the next or else I'm not progressing'. By doing that you are missing the targets that will make a Novice easy and will mean that you can progress up to Intermediate successfully. 

What I am trying to do is to slow myself down by breaking my overall goals into much smaller targets. So for example, for you, rather than seeing each event as a whole (i.e. I have completed 10 novices therefore novice should be easy), you say I want a consistent dressage score of under 30, I want a consistent show jumping round that I ride competently, I can deal with all eventualities on the XC competently and consistently. If you are regularly missing things at novice level then this isn't the case. The sense of achievement comes from doing all these aspects well without the sense of having winged it and not just in completing. You need to find the perfectionist side of you!

I do hope you continue to compete and that you keep writing these posts, they are very enjoyable to read.
		
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Gosh no, definitely not an over-achiever, or particularly driven! 

Perhaps I shd put it differently; i don't want to compete at Int, come hell or high water, for the sake of it.  Rather, I had thought that I'd made sufficient progress to be capable of it, and I'm disappointed that that's not the case! 

And you're right, I cld make my aim to win at N, rather than to move up.  I've not placed higher than 5th at N.  But realistically, I'd still be doing N in ten years' time.  I can't do dressage to any great level.  I can improve, and I try to, but to get sub-30.... No.  Impossible. And I wouldn't enjoy trying, either.   So, I aim to get double clears, or perhaps just one fence down, and that is pretty much what I did all of last yr!  



Darremi said:



			I am completely the same as those who say they only feel validated when they are moving up a grade. I lost half of last season with a broken collar bone and felt like the entire season was a write off because I only managed to get to CCI* level when my goal had been CCI2*.

For some reason in my mind I do not consider Novice an achievement and that is why I have pushed my young horse up the grades with very little miles on the clock. For me I consider a clear XC at Intermediate to be worth more than a placing/win at Novice even if the SJ and dressage at Intermediate are severely lacking!! 

It is a mentality that is very difficult to shake. But it also means that you take the knocks very hard.
		
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Yes! Ugh! Sorry re your collarbone.  Though I do really like SJing, and enjoy that bit, prob because my horse is v good at it! 



MrsMozart said:



			I don't have a 100th of the experience the other folks on here have, but having read the thread, here's my view:

You're obviously a very driven and very capable person. But (you just knew there was going to be a 'but' didn't you!), you need to get it right at the level you're at before going up. Getting it right, which in competitive terms means coming first each time, should be your validation. Moving up before you and the horse are ready is for you, and not for the partnership that is you and your horse.

You also have to really consider your goals and your priorities. XC schooling or hubby, baby, socializing. It's not wrong to go either way, you do what is right for you and yours, but there comes a level where you have to make a choice (and this is one area I do know a lot about!).


By the way, I think you're blinking wonderful for giving it a damn good shot *waits to hear the click of user ignore*
		
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Yes, well, I thought I did have it right, I guess it is galling to discover I don't! But for me, getting it right doesn't mean winning. (See above, re dressage!) it means DC, or clear XC with maybe one sj down, consistently.  See, I'm not an over - achiever! 



oap said:



			I feel for you. I too am a one horse, full time grown up job amateur, with horse at home, trying to be competitive at novice. It's hard. We were good at 100, won a couple, went to badminton grassroots. First few novices ok, but we've had a hard time this season. Nothing has gone quite right. I spend money on training - go to francis whittington every week, have a list 1 judge for flat work, but it is still hard. When I have real trouble ( I have a stopper) francis gets on for 10 mins and sorts him out. He has ridden all the tracks so has advice about how to ride... It's so helpful. I don't want to put a pro up, he's my horse and I want to ride him, but its great to have one to help from the sidelines.
Never mind, you write beautifully, even if you dont think you can ride  
Keep entering, keep running. It'll get better. Be grateful it's not your living!
		
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Oh dear, how frustrating! Why's it not quite happening?  Ha, perhaps I need to write, rather than write! 



kerilli said:



			^^^ this, too. Until you are very experienced, good advice from a Pro is absolutely invaluable. I can't count the times that I thought "oh, that fence is ok" as I walked a course, only to have a Pro say "hang on, have you considered x" or "don't be fooled, this one always rides like y". It saved me and my horses a LOT of grief, quite literally. A trainer who knows the courses and will give you advice is absolutely worth having, whatever it takes. 

Click to expand...

Yes, agree!


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## HotToTrot (26 April 2014)

morrismob said:



			Hi h2t, I have read most of the replies and just one thing springs to mind. Have you checked your horse out physically, perhaps with your physio. I am sure you have but my daughter and her boy have made the jump to Novice and it has not been plain sailing at all ! Now we thought it was the huge jump for both of them from a solid 100 record to Novice. We did lots of xc schooling in between the 3 events. It is hard to reproduce the exact adrenaline state as eventing but also hard to find true Novice level schooling in our area. 

We took horse to a Hunter Trial Pairs at 90cm to try and build up his confidence, same result although he then went beautifully in the individual class. Called out the physio and he was sore so we are now dealing with that and going down to 90 and will build up again.

He had a full MOT before the season and showed no other signs. I am sure you have covered all of this but felt it worth a mention. This thread has been very interesting to read and wish you well. Don't give up !
		
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He actually had the physio for his routine check on Thurs.  She seemed happy with him and said there wasn't much change from last time she saw him.  

I think the problem is basically me.  Had v good lesson today, with lots to work on!!


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## MrsMozart (27 April 2014)

Sorry m'duck, on re-reading perhaps my words were harsher than my thoughts. My bad.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, a DC is not yet 'good' (here I go again!) if it's by the skin of one's teeth and the luck of the wotsit. A good DC is where the partnership is working together and when you say Come back to me lad, he's there, and where an angle was wrong, you can trust him to say Come on Ma! and take you out of it. It's where at the end of the day, even if the ground threw a sticky moment, or a skinny came up faster than you'd anticipated, or whatever else did its best to be a spanner, you and your horse were together. I believe that is the definition of good.

Right. I'll shut up now. I can't write (or ride!) nearly as well as you do, so will go back to lurkdom when in C&T


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## HotToTrot (27 April 2014)

Oh sorry, no please don't stop posting! Um, I seem to have created the impression that I'm largely fluking it, with little or no underlying competence, just a vague desire to go off and jump stuff.  Um, oh well, sorry about that!


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## Sheep (27 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Oh sorry, no please don't stop posting! Um, I seem to have created the impression that I'm largely fluking it, with little or no underlying competence, just a vague desire to go off and jump stuff.  Um, oh well, sorry about that!
		
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I have nothing useful to add from a training perspective but I certainly haven't got the impression that you are fluking it, and I don't think anyone else is thinking that! It sounds as though you've had maybe had a disheartening run and it's making you question yourself - but you also know what you need to do to restore that confidence in yourself and your horse, so please don't be so hard on yourself. You are at a level that so many of us hobby riders could only dream of. And most importantly, please remember that you are meant to enjoy this!


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## {97702} (27 April 2014)

I read this and thought 'Type A personality'....tis all psychological in my very humble opinion.  Please don't give up eventing, you and Vito are clearly very talented and I will definitely add myself to the growing list of people who would really, really miss your reports


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## be positive (27 April 2014)

I haven't read all the replies but my thoughts on your season so far are that you probably are just going through a rough patch having had a blip at Gatcombe, which was possibly just too soon for your first Int without the extra run that was planned at novice, but it is done and has caused a slight loss of confidence and focus, you should be well ready to go Int, you actually had a brilliant run last season with a remarkably good record, that is in no way being critical but having a baby to feed and care for while trying to event at any level is tough, having no real "groom" to help on the day will make everything harder, it is all down to you and must be almost impossible to make the time to fit it all in.

Your reports on here are extremely light hearted, possibly covering up the fact you take it more seriously and are more ambitious than you want to admit, you do appear to be rushing about at most events more than an amateur, one horse rider can really afford to, walking the xc is so important if you are as pushed for time as it sometimes seems it is no wonder that you will get the odd line wrong, at the lower levels you get away with it but as you move up the fences and lines are less forgiving.
Can you rope in someone, ask on here if you have no one that is willing,  that could be your groom, right hand person for the day, to take up some of the slack, even just to tack up, do studs or walk the horse round  so you can focus on the important things such as walking the courses at a less frantic pace, it may allow you a little time to enjoy the day, which at times reading your reports I am not sure even when it has gone well you are able to do.

Don't give up, be positive.


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## MrsMozart (27 April 2014)

Sheep said:



			I have nothing useful to add from a training perspective but I certainly haven't got the impression that you are fluking it, and I don't think anyone else is thinking that! It sounds as though you've had maybe had a disheartening run and it's making you question yourself - but you also know what you need to do to restore that confidence in yourself and your horse, so please don't be so hard on yourself. You are at a level that so many of us hobby riders could only dream of. And most importantly, please remember that you are meant to enjoy this!
		
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This! I certainly don't think you're fluking it


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## HotToTrot (28 April 2014)

Lévrier;12429852 said:
			
		


			I read this and thought 'Type A personality'....tis all psychological in my very humble opinion.  Please don't give up eventing, you and Vito are clearly very talented and I will definitely add myself to the growing list of people who would really, really miss your reports 

Click to expand...

I'm going to have to google that.  Though I don't even know my blood type, so not sure I'm going to recognise my personality type!   



be positive said:



			I haven't read all the replies but my thoughts on your season so far are that you probably are just going through a rough patch having had a blip at Gatcombe, which was possibly just too soon for your first Int without the extra run that was planned at novice, but it is done and has caused a slight loss of confidence and focus, you should be well ready to go Int, you actually had a brilliant run last season with a remarkably good record, that is in no way being critical but having a baby to feed and care for while trying to event at any level is tough, having no real "groom" to help on the day will make everything harder, it is all down to you and must be almost impossible to make the time to fit it all in.

Your reports on here are extremely light hearted, possibly covering up the fact you take it more seriously and are more ambitious than you want to admit, you do appear to be rushing about at most events more than an amateur, one horse rider can really afford to, walking the xc is so important if you are as pushed for time as it sometimes seems it is no wonder that you will get the odd line wrong, at the lower levels you get away with it but as you move up the fences and lines are less forgiving.
Can you rope in someone, ask on here if you have no one that is willing,  that could be your groom, right hand person for the day, to take up some of the slack, even just to tack up, do studs or walk the horse round  so you can focus on the important things such as walking the courses at a less frantic pace, it may allow you a little time to enjoy the day, which at times reading your reports I am not sure even when it has gone well you are able to do.

Don't give up, be positive.
		
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It's funny that people are saying I'm ambitious - I'm no different to anyone else!  I don't think anyone starts an event thinking "today, I'd really like to do a terrible test, then I'd like at least two poles down, and after that, I hope to fall off on my head in the water jump."  I mean, we all want to do well!  

Yes, need some definite confidence re-building!



MrsMozart said:



			This! I certainly don't think you're fluking it 

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Ha!  Hopefully I am not!


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## Darremi (28 April 2014)

How did the XC training session go?


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## HotToTrot (28 April 2014)

Really well, thank you!  I went to LD to see Tina and she did a really good job.  An awful lot for me to work on and I'm going to try to go back in about three weeks, having done my homework.  

As well as the more "concrete" aspects ("do this, do that") it also made me get the feel back a bit more.  He felt far more steerable and a lot more like he did last year. I started to regain the confidence to hold him on a line and trust him to jump (with my leg on, of course!).I hadn't really noticed that he had felt different, but towards the end, I suddenly noticed that it was all a lot better, and that this was the horse I used to have (before I stuffed him up!).


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## Darremi (28 April 2014)

Well done!

A good training session can be invaluable confidence-wise. 

Onwards and upwards


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## Supanova (28 April 2014)

HotToTrot said:



			Really well, thank you!  I went to LD to see Tina and she did a really good job.  An awful lot for me to work on and I'm going to try to go back in about three weeks, having done my homework.  

As well as the more "concrete" aspects ("do this, do that") it also made me get the feel back a bit more.  He felt far more steerable and a lot more like he did last year. I started to regain the confidence to hold him on a line and trust him to jump (with my leg on, of course!).I hadn't really noticed that he had felt different, but towards the end, I suddenly noticed that it was all a lot better, and that this was the horse I used to have (before I stuffed him up!).
		
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Really glad you had a good training session.  I think it is so important to have concrete and simple instructions.  I was having a few issues show jumping and i went for one lesson with a trainer i really trust and she told me two very simple things that have somehow massively changed everything in about 5 minutes and since then competing has been much more successful.  Sometimes, it can be one simple thing that needs to be changed to get everything right.  If you have confidence in the instructions given and you can feel them working, it can change things for the better very quickly.


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## suzi (28 April 2014)

Pleased you had a positive training session 

Dare I ask where you have entered next?


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## HotToTrot (28 April 2014)

Darremi said:



			Well done!

A good training session can be invaluable confidence-wise. 

Onwards and upwards 

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Thanks! 



suzi said:



			Pleased you had a positive training session 

Dare I ask where you have entered next?  

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Thank you.  I haven't! 



Supanova said:



			Really glad you had a good training session.  I think it is so important to have concrete and simple instructions.  I was having a few issues show jumping and i went for one lesson with a trainer i really trust and she told me two very simple things that have somehow massively changed everything in about 5 minutes and since then competing has been much more successful.  Sometimes, it can be one simple thing that needs to be changed to get everything right.  If you have confidence in the instructions given and you can feel them working, it can change things for the better very quickly.
		
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Yes!


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