# Scared after just second lesson!



## mungasmum (24 July 2015)

I desperately need some advice please...

Ok, so as a youngster I was completely besotted by horses but didn't often get the chance to ride (inner city, limited finances) but always grabbed any opportunity and when we visited rural friends, rode their horses in the  outdoor arena, went a number of hacks as a teen but no formal lessons. I had only ever cantered once during a hack and just instinctively clung on! 

Anyway, life gets in the way and before I knew it, I'm in my late 30's and I realised I hadn't spent any time in the company of these beautiful beasts for at least 13 years. I immediately decided this had to be rectified and after scouring the net booked myself into a school offering a Take Back The Reins course and waited with excitement to be reunited with my first love!

Arrived and met my horse, a 15.1 cobby type (I remember wondering why they seem a lot 'heftier' now?) and was advised to get on with grooming but I misheard the instructor's comments and thought he said mine doesn't like it and felt a bit wary at times but told myself if I start getting nervous so will he so calmed myself and got on with it. 
During the lesson I felt as though I'd never rode in my life and everytime we were trotting I kept automatically pulling my arms up. I didn't realise until I asked why everytime we start after a few paces he goes into a walk again. My instructor said my horse is very responsive to the reins and therefore I shouldn't try cantering until I break the hand raising habit as he'll take that as a stop command. That's fine by me, I really want to ride 'correctly' and get my seat, position and aids perfected and that means more to me than the need for speed.

Sorry for the essay, if you're still reading, I am getting to the point now, promise....
Second lesson, felt so much more confident just being around him and had a lovely grooming sesh. The lesson was also sooo much better and the rising trot was a lot more controlled except I was still struggling with the reins, too long, uneven...so steering left a bit to be desired. There's only two of us and I felt like I was constantly having to pull him up as he kept getting up the a**e of the one in front. We were working in the indoor arena, it was hot and humid and I was getting tired and thirsty about 40 minutes in when my instructor decides I need to work on my steering whilst keeping him in rising trot so halfway down the length of the arena do a turn so I'm trying this but each time he starts then goes into a walk. Told I start to turn then lift the outer arm and that's sending him the wrong signal again. Anway we're walking in the middle with me feeling pretty deflated so go to trot him to the wall when he suddenly breaks into a canter, I panic (a lot!) and in the moment thought the best thing to do would be to pull back the reins. He responded perfectly and came to a dead stop. I went over his head and landed flat on my back. The slipped discs and sciatica I've endured in bouts over the last four years only then came to mind. I must have landed on my coccyx as that's where most of the pain was. After the initial pain and shock had subsided and admittedly a tear or two, got back on and proceeded to walk again. To be fair I was in pain, but when he started quivering I got nervous and probably irrationally started imagining that this was just a symptom of all his restless energy and that at any moment he start rearing/bucking/galloping and I'd be hurt even further so convinced he's pick up on this, I got off.
The lesson was coming to an end and we led the horses back to their stables. Felt pretty shaken and very sore since, got a black bruise about 6inches across on the top of my inner thigh. So saw a dr on Weds, backs ok just sore and stiff (I'm limping) but bruise is severe and I've been told no rubbing for 3/4 weeks.

So, I desperately want to continue ( I'm hoping bruise might be a lot better in 2 weeks) but I'm terrified of something similar or God forbid, even worse happening again! I was assured that this was completely out of the blue for him to just go into a canter like that but when I asked why it happened, my instructor said at that point Id been holding the reins perfectly and he took it as the canter aid. I completely understand that it's me that needs to improve not the horse but how can I go about it? I was told I can have a change of horse but we decided on the 1st lesson that because he is responsive it will help me with the reins. I like him and he hasn't done anything wrong but I'm scared of the fall? Don't want to give up so should I try another 'less responsive' type? I have no desire at the moment to go into a canter and was thinking maybe separate lunge lessons might be necessary when I want to pick up speed? Sorry again for the length of post, thanks to anyone who's taken the time to read and any advice much appreciated.


----------



## Red-1 (24 July 2015)

I am sorry you have had a bad time on your first lessons.

When I teach novices I start on the lunge, where the horse trots round and the trainer holds a long rope from the middle and controls the horse. It seems silly to me to expect a person to control the horse when they are not yet in control of themselves.

I would ask for a lunge lesson next time. The trainer will lunge the horse without the rider first, to make sure they are in control, then the rider is added. I usually do a fair few lessons like this, with a walk round to practice steering off the lunge at the end of the lesson once things are going well and the rider is confident.


----------



## sunshine100* (24 July 2015)

hi i want to ask you-if you are not enjoying it then don't do it....if you dread the lesson and anticipate what wrong things can happen then the horse picks up on it--no one is forcing you and I want you to look forward to the lesson and being around horses again---so my thoughts are is to ask if you can have NLP therapy to work on your nerves but personally having gone through it myself i gave up and took up cycling have a list where you put the plus and minus on horse riding and see what you come up with....


----------



## Barnacle (24 July 2015)

No - don't give up. This is often how it starts - everything feels chaotic, you realise you're sitting on the back of an unpredictable prey animal that you don't really know how to control or read yet - and your balance is all over the place. But you'll absolutely love it once you're a bit more capable - I promise.

The thing about going back to riding when you only rode as a kid is that you realise how fearless you once were. I learned to ride when I was 4 by going to weekly lessons and I continued and competed etc into my teens. It was only after a couple of years of a gap that I realised things had changed. I started riding again at university and suddenly I had all these fears I'd never experienced before. Since I'd been riding my whole life, physically I was able to go back to it with no problem and it was like I'd never stopped - but psychologically things were different. It's still the case - and I'm a confident rider - that my younger self had a lot less self-doubt. As we get older, we understand the things that can go wrong better and I think our self-preservation instincts kick up a gear. 

The thing is to keep those risks in perspective. Trotting around an indoor school - even cantering - with a good old school horse is pretty unlikely to cause a serious injury. You have a bruise... A bruise is no reason to be fearful. And a bruise is certainly no reason to give up  Also, I feel like I should point out that a lot of the aching is just your muscles... Riding is quite a lot of exercise and particularly of muscle groups we don't otherwise really use. It's normal to ache after your first few lessons or when you start doing something new. So don't put that limp down to your fall - it'll probably be like that after every lesson for a while!

My suggestion, however, is to switch horse. In a few weeks when you have your balance and strength sorted and your hands aren't all over the place and you aren't inadvertently kicking your horse (which is almost certainly what you did - I've seen it many, many times), you'll be desperate to switch back to something a bit more lively. But for now, ask for a plod. And perhaps consider having a few private lessons before you go back to riding with another person. It can be hard to learn to coordinate yourself and send the correct signals when your horse's mind is on his friend and he's ignoring you.

On your part, if you get tired during the lesson, ask to have a break - but never get off early. Face your fear and in a few weeks I promise this will all seem very silly and you'll be having loads of fun!


----------



## mungasmum (24 July 2015)

Thanks for the replies..Sunshine100, I missed the question but if you're asking if I'm not enjoying it, well, I am but I'm aware it can be dangerous and I feel it's sensible to seek advice from those with experience on how to continue whilst taking any possible precautions.
Red-1, I was thinking maybe I need lunge lessons for getting used to canter but I'm guessing I could do with them to perfect the basics first? If so, change of horse unnecessary then? 
Barnacle, you've understood me completely! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement&#55357;&#56842; Apparently, I am on the school plod, I'm embarrassed to admit he's apparently almost as old as I am. So I am just that bad lol! I think as I mentioned I'll have a lesson or two on the lunge before I rejoin the course. Think I'll be out of the saddle for a couple of weeks so when I call the school to let them know I'll ask about lunge lessons. There not being another horse in on the lesson would be added peace of mind as the other person in my group is mainly concentrating on canter and when I got back on in the last lesson it did cross my mind that it would make mine want to go! Can anyone suggest how many I might need, depends on the person obviously but is there an average number and also, will it help me with my aids? Or is it more that being more balanced will help my aids? I'm probably overthinking this way too much now, another thing I've discovered with getting older!


----------



## Red-1 (24 July 2015)

mungasmum said:



			Thanks for the replies..Sunshine100, I missed the question but if you're asking if I'm not enjoying it, well, I am but I'm aware it can be dangerous and I feel it's sensible to seek advice from those with experience on how to continue whilst taking any possible precautions.
Red-1, I was thinking maybe I need lunge lessons for getting used to canter but I'm guessing I could do with them to perfect the basics first? If so, change of horse unnecessary then? 
Barnacle, you've understood me completely! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement&#65533;&#65533; Apparently, I am on the school plod, I'm embarrassed to admit he's apparently almost as old as I am. So I am just that bad lol! I think as I mentioned I'll have a lesson or two on the lunge before I rejoin the course. Think I'll be out of the saddle for a couple of weeks so when I call the school to let them know I'll ask about lunge lessons. There not being another horse in on the lesson would be added peace of mind as the other person in my group is mainly concentrating on canter and when I got back on in the last lesson it did cross my mind that it would make mine want to go! Can anyone suggest how many I might need, depends on the person obviously but is there an average number and also, will it help me with my aids? Or is it more that being more balanced will help my aids? I'm probably overthinking this way too much now, another thing I've discovered with getting older!
		
Click to expand...

I have people mainly ride on the lunge until they can walk/trot/canter with stirrups and walk/trot without. That gives you some resilience when you ride independently again, as you will have a better seat, will be able to independently apply the aids, and if all does go west, if you lose your stirrups then you are still OK!

People need different amounts of lunge lessons to achieve this. It depends on how well the horse is schooled (as in the trainer controls the horse, and the horse is responsive and obedient, and balanced), the skill of the trainer, as well as the skill/aptitude of the rider. 

I would watch the horse be warmed up. It should wear side reins, and have a lunge whip/rein. It should be obedient to walk/trot/canter up and down the gaits to command. If not, I would choose a different school!

Riding is dangerous compared to some sports, but the danger can be managed. You may find that you need a "training centre" rather than a riding school, not to do with the name, but some establishments concentrate on kids and casual hacks, and some are more geared up to teach.


----------



## Palindrome (24 July 2015)

Second Red's lunge lessons. You could also get a body protector on top. Falls are parts and parcels of horse riding, particularly as you are learning, but a body protector makes the ground feel softer and protects your back . Good luck, you need to build the strength in your legs, abs, back muscles etc... and move each part independently to be able to control yours and the horse's balance and give more subtle aids. Some people do pilates as a mean of cross training or exercises on an exercise ball when they are not riding.


----------



## Exploding Chestnuts (24 July 2015)

I think a mechanical horse would help you, a lot.


----------



## theot (25 July 2015)

as my mum used to say , get back up on that horse , if you love her, easy to do as a youngster, but being in my 49th year and not ridden for years, i am nervous of what would,could and might go wrong instead of loving every second of it, i envy confident riders of all ages its beautiful to see my neighbour in her 70s jump up on her horses and just doing it . Having said that i cant even get a pony in my name right, we and animals are all different hop up on another horse and love it,,,,


----------



## Spot_the_Risk (25 July 2015)

OP, you'll be fine, if been a returner after a break and my riding was shocking but improved swiftly.  Lunge lessons are fantastic for your seat, and a mechanical horse lesson would be very useful indeed, I've 'ridden' Heather Moffets three and found the whole experience fascinating.


----------



## Sukistokes2 (25 July 2015)

A few years ago I had confidence issues, came on out of the blue, no fall, nothing, it just happened. I decided to go back to basics and had lessons with a "ride with your mind" instructor.  She revamped my position, I had been riding in a very odd way which came from lessons as a kid and then own pony for years with no lesson. Basically I wasn't stable. I can tell you that although when I was prodded into a position that felt right,it was hard to maintain and for ages I felt really odd. So I really understand how you feel. Quite often instructors feel the pressure to push your progress forward fast, so that you feel you are getting your money's worth. My instructor really worked with me so that I did make progress but not to the point I was put off, or that I fell off and undone her good work. It's important you have a good relationship with your instructor and that you both work on your aims and objectives for each session. I spent on this at walk and trot without even the thought of canter. That basis has really stood me in good stead later on as I have a really good seat now. Those suggesting lunge lessons have a good point as it allows you to concentrate on you and not the horse. Also you could ride without holding the reins so that you can really think about " plugging in" . Once stable in your seat your hands will come. Also think about a BP or air jacket as you get older your bounce fades. I use an air jacket. Glad you are overall enjoying your lessons.


----------



## sianmturner (26 July 2015)

Oh poor you.  I really feel for you.  I too have come back to riding after a break of several years.  It's not easy at all and, like me, you're being very hard on yourself.  It was your second lesson.  And to be honest, the description of what you did matches perfectly what I would have done on my second lesson given the same situation.  In short; panicked!

Now, in a sense, you've got the worst bit out of the way.  You need to identify what exactly your scared of (this helped me anyway).  If it's falling off, well you've been there and done that now and, in all, you're OK.  If you want to take the positive out of it; it doesn't look like he's going to be one who will run away with you - he stopped as soon as you asked him to.  So, if you can (and I do know how hard it is), take that as a consolation - when you do come to having a good canter with him, he's not going to take off with you and not stop.  

Sometimes, having a little chat with your instructor can help.  I told mine exactly what I was nervous of and why - then they were a little more careful about asking me to do that.  Also, when they did ask me to do these things, they were careful about how much they expected and the steps they took toward these things.

Finally, it's your second lesson.  Do not be too harsh on yourself over steering etc.  It will come.  My friend told me something I was doing wrong today and I realised I'd learnt how to do this thing 20 years ago and it's totally gone!  And then I couldn't master it again and I felt annoyed about it.  And remember - it's a hobby and you're doing it for enjoyment.  I know sometimes it doesn't feel so much like that sometimes but allow yourself a moment to remember that.  It sometimes helps me to think 'I'm doing this because I want to - I don't HAVE to do anything' and I do this in lessons too.  I bet my instructor hates me ;-)
xxxxx


----------



## tatty_v (27 July 2015)

I'm helping one of my friends get back into riding after a very extended break and she started off having exactly the same issue with her hands as you describe.  We've spent a lot of time in walk practising circles and shapes in the school to really get the feel of steering with your legs and your body and not using your hands to balance.  I always make sure she has a neckstrap and encourage her to hold it with the reins to keep her hands steady.  We're doing a bit more in trot now but definitely in no rush to move up the gears until she feels confident and she's built up her leg and core muscles a bit more post baby.  Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel comfortable with and don't stress, it will all come back eventually and then it'll be like riding a bike  xx


----------



## Dave the dog (27 July 2015)

I started riding a year ago in my late 50's and not ashamed to admit I had prelesson panics. Peace of mind is what you need, get some insurance, body protection, some spring water to sip before the lesson and some bach rescue remedy listen to soothing music and get yourself relaxed and  smile. If you're calm the horse will be kind. Well done for getting back on.


----------



## ajn1610 (3 August 2015)

Lunge lessons are a good idea, as is the mechanical horse. How is your flexibility and core strength generally? IME novice riders often raise their hands because they feel unbalanced and insecure so working on improving your core strength and stability may help and is something you can do immediately and off the horse - try some pilates. It will get better however it is almost inevitable that you will hit the deck again at some point and learning how to fall safely is part of learning to ride. It might help your confidence if you view it in that light, Jockeys are actively taught this as a skill.


----------



## Skib (3 August 2015)

First of all dont give up the idea of learning to ride.
You have had good advice here about finding a good teacher, skilled at lunge lessons. I am posting because I too had great difficulty learning to ride and my horse too broke away during my very first lesson. I didnt fall off tho I did on a subsequent unsolicited canter.

One problem is that when an adult turns up at a riding school to start lessons, the school may not gain an accurate picture of their past experience of riding, if any. The take back the reins encourages adults who rode as children to resume riding, the cost of lessons is not high and the teaching is done in a group.

There are some schools which, in order to keep prices low, teach beginners in groups, (children and adults) but to keep students safe the activities are limited, the ponies are led round and the students closely monitored before being promoted to the next level. But having one on one lessons isnt necessarilly the solution. Adult beginners may find themselves being taught by the least experienced  teachers, trained to teach children but with little knowledge of how adults can be taught to ride, especially those with some physical problems. And if you have a bad back, a cob may be too wide for you to sit straight and secure.

It may mean paying a little more to have good individual lessons  - starting on the lunge and with an experienced teacher, but it is well worth while. Just to get the basics in place and to keep you safe. It is also important to find a teacher who is used to teaching older people or people with physical limitations. We dont all have perfect text book bodies or natural athleticism.
Our teacher reminds us that it takes 6 weeks for a tissue injury to heal - give  yourself time. You might also consider buying a body protector. It is inevitable (I believe) for riders to fall from time to time and though I bought a body protector for hacking,  I eventually began to wear it for school lessons too. There is a lot of discussion about how much protection a body protector offers and whether or not it is restrictive. You need to choose a brand and design that  is comfortable and which fits you well. But I do believe wearing one has made my own falls non-events.


----------



## Tnavas (9 August 2015)

Mungasmum hope you are feeling more comfortable, please don't give up but instead book yourself some private lunge lessons. You will feel much safer and will have time to work on your rising trot without having to worry about steering. 

These lunge lessons are really worth it, if you can afford to try two or three in the same week as there is less time for your body to forget the previous lessons. Follow the lunge lessons with a couple of private lessons off the lunge, then you will feel happier in a group lesson.


----------



## mungasmum (9 August 2015)

Thank you so much to everyone for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate the support and practical advice. I feel so much better just knowing I'm not the only one that's struggled and all your your advice wasn't to just stop trying! So my bruise has completely gone (yay) and my back has finally started to feel better in the last few days, although I'm not usually a hypochondriac I ended up having a back x-ray, the pain was getting worse before it got better and thankfully no cracks but apparently 'shortening vertebrae' (obviously they're annoyed with the discs getting all the attention). Googled what that meant and seems it's a symptom of osteoporosis. Will be trying to get an appointment with GP next week to discuss..anyway I digress. My point being is that yes, I like the idea of a body protector! I notice a couple of people on here are in London, I'm in N16, can anyone suggest where I might be able to go and get fitted , try on a few different brands?
Back to the lessons, I missed three weeks worth so back to square one, I've booked a lunge lesson for Thursday, can't wait..thanks to Red-1 for telling me what to look out for. Not sure how it will go, the instructor seemed a bit taken aback when I asked. Said he thinks I'm riding 'pretty good' but need confidence so it will actually help....he's right about the confidence but not the riding, how can I be when I haven't even got to grips with the reins?!
So I hope they're not going to try and rush me off the lunge before I'm ready...
I've realised my balance is atrocious (the sciatica has left my right leg weaker) so I also plan to pick up a gym ball when I'm near an Argos on Tuesday. My core strength is probably non-existent so I think I do need to give pilates a go, I have a complete aversion to gyms though so wondering if anyone could recommend a DVD for beginners? On the plus side, I am very flexible, only mentioned because someone asked the question, lol!


----------



## Clodagh (9 August 2015)

Pilates round here is done by non athletic women wearing whatever comes to hand (trackie pants and a baggy t shirt) and we none of us have gym bods, it is in the village hall...so hopefully there is somewhere like that near you?
Good luck with the lunge lesson, it makes it much easier to concentrate on you. As you are paying for them just insist on wanting them until you are happy to go off the lunge.
Try to remember - when nervous our body wants to squish into a ball, so we lean forward when riding, that means go faster to a horse. If you are getting nervous remember out loud to yourself to sit up straight and lean back slightly - lean back means stop/slow down. 

Have fun!


----------



## mungasmum (9 August 2015)

Thanks Clodagh, it's tips like that I need! Feel pretty stupid that my aids consist of kick to go faster and pull reins to stop...but I'm hoping once my balance, seat and muscles improve with lunging lessons then I can work on aids. Just to add I do try to squeeze more than kick as giving a bootful just doesn't feel right to me!


----------



## Orangehorse (9 August 2015)

I think the lesson was a bit too long, no wonder you were getting tired.  Lots of good advice above, best of luck with future lessons.


----------



## mungasmum (9 August 2015)

Orangehorse, thank you, you've just pointed out something glaringly obviously but which I failed to see! Doesn't help that I'm a smoker and I've hardly exercised for years bar stretches twice a day...


----------



## astera22 (10 August 2015)

That's a terrible experience for a beginner! The worst thing for you would be to quit because of it.
It takes a while to get to know the horse you're riding completely because every horse is sooo different. For me, it always helps (and my instructor told me to do this) to shorten the reins so they're not really loose when riding. If they're loose, some horses like to speed up because they're not being restricted by you. 
You will fall of a horse many times over the years, some will be light scratches or bruises, others will result in twisted ankles and what not but that's just the part of riding. Please don't let that lesson put you off! When you fall, get up and keep trying 
Good luck!!!!


----------

