# Returning to Riding - RS Share VS Private Share... Help



## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

Hi All,

I have recently returned to riding after an 8 year break (I rode for around 10 years prior to this). I am in my late twenties now and would really like to get stuck in and try to get as much experience as possible to hopefully set myself up to be a horse owner in the not-so-distant future.

So here is the story - I found a girl locally who wanted a sharer for her horse a few nights a week. She has helped me insofar as stable management is concerned and has helped jog my memory, but the horse (a 12 yr old given to her for free) was lame when she took her on. The horse is also quite nappy - although I am rusty, she will run off in her own direction, wont turn when asked, stops without being asked etc. The owner has only had her a year herself. I am not sure if riding a horse like this is actually going to knock my confidence rather than build it as I am just getting back into riding. The owner insists that I will not learn as much from a riding school pony who is 'bombproof', and that I will am wasting my money going down the lesson route.

However, I have still decided to take 1 lesson a week at a riding school. Yes, the horse I ride there is an absolute gem who does nothing wrong - but I always come away feeling positive, whereas the share horse can often leave me deflated and feeling like I am incapable.

My question is - is riding a horse as described above really a good idea for me? I do have the option of sharing a horse at a riding school near me, which incorporates 1 day riding (lesson) and 1 day stable management for £35 a week. They also see you ride and match you to the right horse for you. I am thinking this may be a better option... Any advice welcomed.x


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## ester (13 November 2017)

1) no, doesn't sound like much fun and potentially unsafe. 
2) yes that would seem like a good idea while you get more up to speed (though if the one day stable management is just a whole load of poo picking that will become tedious  
3) once you are more up to speed you will probably find better/more opportunities for private shares come along.


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## View (13 November 2017)

Agree with Ester that this share doesn't sound great.

Any colleges or riding schools around you that run courses for Essential Horse Knowledge Certificates and BHS Stages 1 and 2?


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## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

View said:



			Agree with Ester that this share doesn't sound great.

Any colleges or riding schools around you that run courses for Essential Horse Knowledge Certificates and BHS Stages 1 and 2?
		
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Thanks both.

Unfortunately, the owner has hinted that it is my riding and inability to control the horse that is causing her to behave like she does... which I dont believe to necessarily be true. She is not unsafe to handle but when riding is either not very responsive... or too responsive  really is making me feel like Im just a bad rider!

I live near an agricultural college and have considered doing some courses for BHS exams there next February...


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## Theocat (13 November 2017)

Well, if it really is your riding, lessons - or a share at a riding school - are clearly the best way forward!

Although if the horse hasn't improved in a year, I'd suggest the owner could do with 'wasting' some money as well...

I'd move on sharpish.


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## Sparemare (13 November 2017)

Walk away from the shade.  It doesn&#8217;t sound much fun and either the horse or the horse&#8217;s owner will erode your confidence


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## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

I agree! Thank you for your help 

The funny thing is the owner has not ridden the horse since she took her on as she is too anxious to ride. As I write all this, I feel a little foolish for trying it to begin with! It&#8217;s all a learning curve, I suppose... I have so much (conflicting) advice coming at me from all angles sometimes it&#8217;s difficult to know who to listen to!x


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## Pearlsasinger (13 November 2017)

Theocat said:



			Well, if it really is your riding, lessons - or a share at a riding school - are clearly the best way forward!

Although if the horse hasn't improved in a year, I'd suggest the owner could do with 'wasting' some money as well...

I'd move on sharpish.
		
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This.
And having read that the owner doesn't ride the horse, I think she is trying to get a 'crash-test dummy' at your expense, when really she should be paying a pro to  ride.


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## MissTyc (13 November 2017)

Walk away, sounds crap! When I was still teaching more, I had many clients who were riders coming back into riding and taking on a share on the understanding they'd have regular lessons. Some owners would allow relative novices to share as long as every ride was a lesson (once a week for example at first). All my ladies quickly progressed to being able to handle the horses on the ground and under saddle and then the owners could make a decision about long term viability of the arrangement. Guess I am saying that the two options you have suggested are not the only two share options, especially going into the winter! Lots of lovely horses and owners (!) out there - shop around, find an arrangement that suits you, and never feel bad for lack of knowledge or ability when you're only just getting back into it!


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## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

MissTyc said:



			Walk away, sounds crap! When I was still teaching more, I had many clients who were riders coming back into riding and taking on a share on the understanding they'd have regular lessons. Some owners would allow relative novices to share as long as every ride was a lesson (once a week for example at first). All my ladies quickly progressed to being able to handle the horses on the ground and under saddle and then the owners could make a decision about long term viability of the arrangement. Guess I am saying that the two options you have suggested are not the only two share options, especially going into the winter! Lots of lovely horses and owners (!) out there - shop around, find an arrangement that suits you, and never feel bad for lack of knowledge or ability when you're only just getting back into it!
		
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Thank you - i am sometimes riding three nights a week, on a horse that I find challenging to control (which may be at the horses detriment as well as my own) which often leaves me feeling mentally and physically exhausted! Way too much for returning after many years!

I think being within a riding school setting I will meet lots more people for support as well, which is never a bad thing.x


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## SO1 (13 November 2017)

How much are you paying and how often can you ride your share horse?

Is the riding school share one ride per week as a lesson plus one stable management lesson or will you also get to ride the horse independently? If the RS option also gives you the chance to ride independently as well as the lesson then I think that would be a good option.

Could you afford to have a lesson on your share horse as then an instructor can assess if it is the horse that is the issue or it is your riding or a combination of both.  If you are the only person riding the share horse then it may be the horse is not fit enough to do what you are asking and as the horse gets fitter it becomes less evasive. If you have enough money to have one lesson and a week on the share horse and then practice on your other two days what your instructor has taught you and do this for a couple of months and then see how you get on that might an option.


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## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

I am paying £15 a week for the share for 2 days which I believe covers 50% of the livery costs. The owner will not let me do anything independently on her and has told me this will be the case long term. Though she does not have a background in teaching, she &#8220;teaches&#8221; me for an hour or so twice a week, however, She won&#8217;t let me canter, though in my lessons I am cantering well and progressing nicely.

The riding  school option does not include independent riding at first, though I believe over time it would be an option after some trust is gained.

I do think it would be good to get an instructor to have a look at me on the share horse, it&#8217;s just putting that idea to the owner without offending her as I think she rather enjoys taking the &#8220;instructor role&#8221;..


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## SO1 (13 November 2017)

I think with the information you have given the share option does not sound great, you get two "lessons" from someone who is not qualified and won't let you canter and you might not get to ride independently and it might be tricky to get the horse fit enough to do more with only two days riding per week unless it is living out or getting some other exercise. 

I think you would be better off with the RS option and then looking for another share when you are back in the swing of riding again. At the RS you will have more options and perhaps get the chance to jump and hack out.



TwiggyL said:



			I am paying £15 a week for the share for 2 days which I believe covers 50% of the livery costs. The owner will not let me do anything independently on her and has told me this will be the case long term. Though she does not have a background in teaching, she &#8220;teaches&#8221; me for an hour or so twice a week, however, She won&#8217;t let me canter, though in my lessons I am cantering well and progressing nicely.

The riding  school option does not include independent riding at first, though I believe over time it would be an option after some trust is gained.

I do think it would be good to get an instructor to have a look at me on the share horse, it&#8217;s just putting that idea to the owner without offending her as I think she rather enjoys taking the &#8220;instructor role&#8221;..
		
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## TwiggyL (13 November 2017)

Agreed. I think the horse is more of a pet to the owner. I think she gets bored and tired during schooling, then in turn becomes nappy, which would point to a potential fitness issue.

I am very keen to push myself and progress, therefore not being allowed to canter or go out for hacks (as the owner herself has not hacked the horse due to being too anxious to) it is a very limiting agreement. I understand you need to gain trust but it would be nice to have some element of independence and self directed learning.


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## Sussexbythesea (14 November 2017)

When I got back into riding after University and work I started out back in lessons then began to share a mare. She was a big opinionated BWB a nightmare really and knocked my confidence. Therefore Id say stick with the RS for longer. However Id also say add some group riding and hacking rides to that as soon as you can because youll never be independent riding around in circles all the time with an instructor telling you what to do every minute.


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## Maesto's Girl (14 November 2017)

When I got back into riding after a 15 year break, I started with lessons, then hacking with lessons on mainly sensible horses. Then I found a share who isn't easy (and sometimes infuriating) but felt I had the ability to work with her and we made good progress. Then, I bought my arab mare who is literally the epitome of a nightmare horse on occasion! Napping, spooking, not schooled really....I had a few steps before I reached the challenge. 

Now, I love riding mine - even with her issues - as we are getting through them, and I still share the other mare....and also, still ride on hacks at a riding school so I can get a nice, calm and sensible ride in occasionally.

I'd say go with the riding school and get yourself to a place you feel comfortable with a challenge and then go and find a private share


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## TwiggyL (14 November 2017)

Maesto's Girl said:



			When I got back into riding after a 15 year break, I started with lessons, then hacking with lessons on mainly sensible horses. Then I found a share who isn't easy (and sometimes infuriating) but felt I had the ability to work with her and we made good progress. Then, I bought my arab mare who is literally the epitome of a nightmare horse on occasion! Napping, spooking, not schooled really....I had a few steps before I reached the challenge. 

Now, I love riding mine - even with her issues - as we are getting through them, and I still share the other mare....and also, still ride on hacks at a riding school so I can get a nice, calm and sensible ride in occasionally.

I'd say go with the riding school and get yourself to a place you feel comfortable with a challenge and then go and find a private share
		
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Thanks - out of interest, how long did you have lessons for etc before you shared, then how long til you bought your own horse?

Also, how often were you having lessons/hacks?


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## Maesto's Girl (14 November 2017)

I'd say I had lessons for about 7 months, and then at the start of my share, had 2 lessons a week. I started sharing in the April, and bought my one in September - so about 6 months. At first, I was only doing 1 a week at the RS but then went to another RS to get back into dressage and schooling technique

Now, I have 1 lesson every 2 weeks on my mare, and then hack out every 1/2 weeks depending on my schedule at the RS. 

I think in your heart you know what's best and I also think you'll know when you're comfortable and confident enough to go onto a private share


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## TwiggyL (14 November 2017)

Maesto's Girl said:



			I'd say I had lessons for about 7 months, and then at the start of my share, had 2 lessons a week. I started sharing in the April, and bought my one in September - so about 6 months. At first, I was only doing 1 a week at the RS but then went to another RS to get back into dressage and schooling technique


Now, I have 1 lesson every 2 weeks on my mare, and then hack out every 1/2 weeks depending on my schedule at the RS. 

I think in your heart you know what's best and I also think you'll know when you're comfortable and confident enough to go onto a private share
		
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You&#8217;re absolutely right. I think where I am at the moment I am feeling like I will never be ready for my own horse... which of course is not true. Plus,  I am being very impatient! But your response is encouraging to me and I think slowly, slowly may win the race!


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## milliepops (14 November 2017)

TwiggyL said:



			You&#8217;re absolutely right. I think where I am at the moment I am feeling like I will never be ready for my own horse... which of course is not true. Plus,  I am being very impatient! But your response is encouraging to me and I think slowly, slowly may win the race!
		
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sounds like you need to trust your instincts on this one OP, you'll more than likely progress faster if you stick to the RS for now and as others have said, when you get more established you'll probably be able to pick up a better share horse anyway.
If you want your own horse eventually then learning to figure out when to trust yourself if something doesn't feel right is a useful thing to have practiced


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## Adonissaan (22 November 2017)

I think it depends if you would appreciate the challenge but I think just coming back into it now the riding school share might be better.


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