# The love of the countryside by the non rural public



## AdorableAlice (30 January 2014)

Example one.

Group of ramblers all over 75, fair play hope I can walk for miles at that age, came across us yesterday.  We are wet, swamp mud and as for gateways well, a snorkel is needed.

On hearing the screams I go out into the field and find several ladies floundering.  I rescue them and get them onto concrete.  Why is it so muddy dear ?, well it is winter and a wet one at that.  But dear, when we came across last time it was lovely and not muddy at all.  When did you last come across ?, June dear.  That was followed by, why are the other fields so green.  My answer of land management for the Spring did not seem to register.

I kept my cool and led them across the yard and out onto the lane, explaining that the next bit of path was very muddy.  I didn't mention the five hungry, bored horses that were hanging around.  They then asked me what I was going to do about the flooded path, my comment of asking him upstairs to turn the tap off seemed to go down well and off they went.

Example two.

My hay man came in this afternoon and I mention the above incident to him.  Laughing he said he could better it.

He was hay making last summer on a boiling hot Sunday afternoon.  Field has footpath across it and a large group of ramblers appear.  Being a kind and polite man he stopped and let the group go past without covering them in dust.

A gentleman walker approached the tractor and asked the farmer if he knew what day it was.  Yes it is Sunday.  The walker then said the farmer should not be working on a Sunday, and the gentleman's walk had been ruined by the noise, he stated he had a right to peace and quiet whilst enjoying his walk.

The farmer explained that farming is not governed by what day it is.  The seasons and the weather dictate what happens in the countryside.  The walker was having none of it and said he would be reporting the farmer for ruining the peace of the countryside on a Sunday.

The next bit I cannot repeat, but think baler, bottom and no sunshine.


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## lhotse (30 January 2014)

Haha, that last one made me laugh!!
I was riding around my fields one day when I came across a woman, map in hand, who was clearly not on the footpath, so I tried to be helpful and point her in the right direction. She then proceeded to tell me that all the hedges were in the wrong place and how could she follow the map if we kept moving them. Hedges are all hundreds of years old, with mature trees growing out of them.
I told the silly cow to learn to read her map before venturing into the countryside!!


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## EffyCorsten (30 January 2014)

AMAZING! Having holiday lets on the farm I sadly have to deal with constant rural ignorance. 
The weather is often us local folks fault. As is the mud, lack of phone signal, rolling power cuts and sight of farm animals is often a huge shock(so is my electric fencing apparently...) but these are corkers! looking forward to more stories of silly muggles.


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## L&M (30 January 2014)

We are lucky enough to have 700 acres of common land to ride on, straight off the yard. It has a historic 'stone circle' which attracts all sorts!

During the week it is lovely and quiet to ride, but come a sunny weekend or a bank holiday, all the townies come out - cue women in flip flops trying to push prams through the mud, uncontrolled dogs and flapping neon coloured kagoules...

The funniest thing I have ever seen was a load of naked geriatrics dancing around the stone circle at summer solstice - I have never trotted past so quickly!!!!


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## hnmisty (30 January 2014)

Admitting that I like the smell of cow poo to non country kids is a bit embarrassing 

I organised the walk for my department's Christmas lunch. It was a brief (3 mile) bimble in the Peak. Some people turned up wearing lovely leather fashion boots or converse. On the muddy section (I walked straight through) it took ages to get everyone through and people were trying to drop stones for them to stand on. I was torn between laughing and crying. My supervisor, who is reasonably outdoorsy, said surely it's illegal to have a footpath in this condition (ie a few inches of mud in winter). Err...


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## EffyCorsten (30 January 2014)

hnmisty said:



			Admitting that I like the smell of cow poo to non country kids is a bit embarrassing 

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HA yep I've shocked a few with this one also my love of stepping on them when they've crusted over a bit on a lovely summers afternoon. ahh memories


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## hnmisty (30 January 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			HA yep I've shocked a few with this one also my love of stepping on them when they've crusted over a bit on a lovely summers afternoon. ahh memories
		
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it isn't just me then? Happy days!


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## undergroundoli (30 January 2014)

I got some photos printed off and the sales assistant asked me if they were of Brighton. No, I said, they were Aberystwyth. Turned out the sales assistant had never left London in his whole life, but he knew all about Aber 'cus his vicar is Welsh. Its easy not to realise how lucky we are having a connection to the countryside.


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## undergroundoli (30 January 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			HA yep I've shocked a few with this one also my love of stepping on them when they've crusted over a bit on a lovely summers afternoon. ahh memories
		
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And the liquid oozes out the cracks! the best.


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## lhotse (30 January 2014)

The village church that stands on the edge of the Cotswolds, dating in part back to the Norman Conquest, now stands silent because of the townie magistrate who has moved in next door. He didn't like the church bells sounding at 11am to welcome the sunday congregation. Hopefully, the parish council will throw out his complaint soon, and if I was the farmer owning the fields behind his house, I would be putting some pigs there for the next few months!!


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## stencilface (30 January 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			HA yep I've shocked a few with this one also my love of stepping on them when they've crusted over a bit on a lovely summers afternoon. ahh memories
		
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I remember having water fights bare foot in the cow field behind our house and stepping on sloppy cow pats, better standing on them than thistles IMHO! Luckily farmer is a friend lol


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## Penny Less (30 January 2014)

It amazes me how many people move out to the country then complain about church bells, cows mooing, cockerels
crowing etc!  I moved out from south London to the country and am always pleased to see tractors on the roads!


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## oldie48 (30 January 2014)

As a city girl who eventually made it to the country, i feel very  blessed  When I see a gaggle of walkers out for a day in the country, i just thank my lucky stars I am here every day rather than chained to a desk in the city with views of pavements and red brick. Aren't we lucky? Even with the rain and the mud I wouldn't trade my life for one in the city. My nails are a complete mess though!


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## PolarSkye (30 January 2014)

Aaaaah the weekend townies!  Living in what is essentially a suburb with access to lots of rural walks (Sandhurst/Yateley/Eversley), we get them all the time.  They wear white trousers and unsuitable shoes, they are often pushing a buggy over unsuitable terrain, they usually have small/yappy/ill-mannered dogs and they themselves have little knowledge how to control those dogs.  They hate mud and muddy dogs, get irritated when muddy dogs run past them/brush up against them, can't control their own yappy/unsocialised dogs and don't have a clue how to control their dogs when other dogs are around.  Sigh.  Also, God forbid they should meet any horses . . . they would probably either hide in the hedges or let their dogs mill about all over the path.  Hate them.

P


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## Meems (30 January 2014)

Oh dear, those stories are very funny and, unfortunately, very believable.

I live in London but don't count myself as a 'townie', I'm a country girl at heart who just hasn't got round to moving out of the concrete jungle yet!!!   We're not all eejits, I promise :tongue3:


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## mirage (30 January 2014)

My cousin went to speak to a walker who had let his dog off the lead in our field and it was chasing sheep.She went in diplomatically as we know who he is and he has only moved to the area recentlyl.He was amazingly arrogant and suggested the dog hadn't done any harm,and she should let it go as it was Christmas.Cousin asked if he'd lived in the countryside before,chap got very arsey and said that he had,then added that she couldn't prove anything as there was no blood on his dog.Cousin pointed out that the sheep were in lamb and being chased could cause them to abort,but he wasn't having any of it.

She did ask if she could have his address,but he refused.Stupid really,he has a very strong accent and has a very distinctive looking dog,so we worked out where he lives,plus it turns out that his kids are in the same class as ours.We have made sure that every farmer and land owner in the area knows about him and his dog.


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## MrsElle (30 January 2014)

OH and I moved to a village a few years ago and most of the people on our cul-de-sac were ex townies.  The woman next door used to wash her car every evening because of the mud.  You could hear her chuntering away to herself about farmers and mud, and she was going to complain, blah, blah, blah.

Another neighbour complained about the church bells chiming every quarter hour 24 hours a day.  Luckily the parish council laughed him out of the meeting when he complained 

Another complained about the local gamekeepers dogs barking, cockerels crowing, and even the swans and geese on the lake!

We moved, loved the dogs barking, church bells, various bird noises and mud, but couldn't stand the moaning, whinging townies 

Oh, I forgot about pigs!  There was a pig farm a few miles away, and if the wind was in the wrong direction the whole village smelt of pig.  Oh, the complaints about that one!


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## MrsElle (30 January 2014)

Also forgot about walkers.  We used to run a guest house in Snowdonia.  The amount of guests who were unsuitably dressed to walk in the mountains.  One particular group were happy to set off in flip flops, shorts and vest tops, despite being warned that it would be cold in the mountains and their footwear was inappropriate.  You evidently can't educate stupid!


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## exmoorponyprincess1 (30 January 2014)

My wonderful maid of honour organised a clay pigeon shooting day for my hen do (I had no idea about it - I had just said if she dared take me to a spa I would find a new maid of honour!!) and two of my friends turned up in high heeled trainers...the shooting range was halfway up a fairly steep hill on the banks of a loch in the Trossachs and the day was run by two wonderful farmers.  Between high heeled trainers and squeals about midgies and how scary the guns were, I'm not surprised I won the mini competition that they kindly ran for the 10 of us!!  One of my friends (wearing one pair of high heeled trainers) when asked what sport she does (the elder of the two farmers was trying to find her inner competitive streak!) she replied "yoga"...the look on the farmers face was priceless!!


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## lhotse (30 January 2014)

I once saw a woman dressed in a red velour jacket and a pair of high heels attempting to descend Snowdon via the Pyg Track. She was halfway down the zig-zags and spending most of her time on her bum!! I can only think that she missed her train back down and that she wasn't actually intending to descend on foot, although the chap with her did have more appropriate footwear on.

On the subject of the Scottish midge, I went to Glen Nevis with a boyfriend who was a definite townie, we were just starting to put the tent up when he started to moan about being bitten and asked what all this little black flies were. I replied 'oh, did I forget to tell you about the midges?', to which his reply was to shut himself in the car and watch me put the tent up!! 

I took him to see the horses once, and he spent the next two hours washing his hands!!


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## honetpot (30 January 2014)

I blame the Country Living, National Trust view of the countryside that sits on people coffee tables, with a green fields on every page, and animals clean, grazing on immaculate grass. I notice they never do photo shoots in winter.


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## EffyCorsten (30 January 2014)

MrsElle said:



			Also forgot about walkers.  We used to run a guest house in Snowdonia.  The amount of guests who were unsuitably dressed to walk in the mountains.  One particular group were happy to set off in flip flops, shorts and vest tops, despite being warned that it would be cold in the mountains and their footwear was inappropriate.  You evidently can't educate stupid!
		
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Sadly you can't beat it out of them either... =D We have plenty of those here on Exmoor but Snowdonia that just takes the biscuit!


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## Abacus (30 January 2014)

Oh, these are sweet. Completely agree with oldie48 that we are plain lucky.

Even so, I remember with fondness when I lived in the east end (london) and was doing my PhD. We used to take the undergrads out to the country for field trips - lots of them had never been out of London. We spent a long day on the beach once, and one of the brighter ones asked why the water was going up and down... (that'll be the tides, then). And then walked through a field, to hear one say 'Look at those funny looking things! It's like they're covered in wool'. They were sheep. 

Really liked the glamorous girl who wore full leather and high platforms to walk up a hill (not an especially challenging hill, either). She needed to be carried, but was hugely charming and funny about it, so it made you not mind quite so much...


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## dollyanna (30 January 2014)

Some friends recently moved from the town to a nearby village. I got a message from the wife asking for advice to pass on to her husband about how to deal with cows. When questioned, he was taking the dog for a walk and the young cattle were galloping over to see them, the footpath runs through their field with no alternative route other than to turn back. When I said he should probably avoid that field until the cows moved, and if he did come across any be ready to drop the dog's lead etc, all the basic cos safety stuff including that people are killed almost every year by cattle when out walking, she replied with astonishment that she probably ought to stop taking the mickey out of him for being scared of a few cows! Poor guy.


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## LaMooch (30 January 2014)

I hate people who move from a town to country that moan about the cockerels, the cows being moved from field to field down the road, the smell of the cows and the mud. Makes me seeing these people walking dogs in knee high, high heels and moaning shoes getting ruined in the mud. THATS WHAT WELLIE BOOTS ARE FOR. Rant over


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## Abacus (30 January 2014)

In fairness, I moan when I have to go into town - about the horrible tube, the rude bargy people, how busy it all is, getting home on a nasty late-night drunk-o'clock train where there's always some man singing, or being sick...


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## lhotse (30 January 2014)

That's why I don't ever go to a city!!!
Funnily enough, although I live in a small town surrounded by countryside and right on the edge of the Cotswolds, there are a surprising number of people who have no idea of the countryside, even though it's right on their doorstep. I call it chav culture to be honest. The town is a sort of amalgamation of two places, one a small town dating back to the 12th century, the other a new town dating back to the 1960's. The difference can be seen when wearing wellies in the Tesco in the new town and wellies in the Waitrose in the old town. I feel more at home in Waitrose!!! 
Some of the chavs do venture out into the surrounding countryside, even for an early morning Boxing Day walk...from the boot of their car to the verge, to dump all their xmas rubbish. Argggg


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## teapot (30 January 2014)

I'm in a coastal town but 20mins from the South Downs so get both the sea idiots and the countryside idiots. Also spend 3 days a week in central London which I cope with, only moan about the tourists who stand on the left but I could never live there. My commute's too pretty for a start!

Latest one was a letter in the local paper demanding to know why the footpath than runs parallel to the old canal was muddy with no handrails?!

Also was sat admiring the view over the summer by a field of cows and overheard 'why are there cows in this field, it's ruining my walk'.


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## Penny Less (30 January 2014)

I think there was some survey done about the New Forest and they discovered people rarely walked more than 100 yards from their cars


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## WelshD (30 January 2014)

I breed chickens for showing and have over twenty cockerels. I hold my breath for quite a while after someone new moves to the village!


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## Ladyinred (30 January 2014)

I once found a massive extended Eastend family having a picnic in a field adjoining a footpath. They were loud, but nice people , so I told them they were off the path and couldn't stay where they were.

'Oh why love, we ain't doin' no 'arm and we'll pick up all the rubbish'

'No sorry you REALLY need to move because...'

'C'mon love we're all unpacked now and we had a  helluva job getting Uncle Ted's wheelchair across the grass..'

The whole lot of them joined in pleading their case, I think there were eleven of them... they went on and on and on until finally I got a word in..

'But, we have a bull in this field, that's why we have a notice on the gate'

'Haha love, nice try. You ain't gonna scare us orf like like. Look, they are cows and they even have calves with them..'

So, I walked across the field , put my finger through the nose ring on the Lincoln Red bull and led him over to join the party (he was actually a real softy, but you can't take the chance pf getting sued)

'So,' I said, 'Is this a bull or is it bull****?'

Never seen anyone pack up and move all their food, plus Uncle Ted in his wheelchair into the 'proper' field, full of apologies and 'Don't you go letting go of him now.'

Very very funny and I was crying with laughter, they were so nice they even offerred me a cuppa and a slice of cake, bless them.


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## Spencer93 (30 January 2014)

I remember being about 10 years old and my (suburban) school went on a residential trip to a farm. I think I realised then how different the life of someone with horses and animals is to those without. The screams when the girls saw a cow poo! They didn't even need to be near it, just seeing one set them off. I remember thinking 'its a farm for gods sake, what do you expect!' and happily traipsing on through the middle of the field. I once send a school friend into a complete meltdown when I picked up a solid horse poo pellet with my bare hands and chucked it on the muck heap. It a different world....


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## LaMooch (30 January 2014)

Ladyinerd Brill had me in stitches especially when you led it over


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## Slightly Foxed (30 January 2014)

Ladyinred said:



			I once found a massive extended Eastend family having a picnic in a field adjoining a footpath. They were loud, but nice people , so I told them they were off the path and couldn't stay where they were.

'Oh why love, we ain't doin' no 'arm and we'll pick up all the rubbish'

'No sorry you REALLY need to move because...'

'C'mon love we're all unpacked now and we had a  helluva job getting Uncle Ted's wheelchair across the grass..'

The whole lot of them joined in pleading their case, I think there were eleven of them... they went on and on and on until finally I got a word in..

'But, we have a bull in this field, that's why we have a notice on the gate'

'Haha love, nice try. You ain't gonna scare us orf like like. Look, they are cows and they even have calves with them..'

So, I walked across the field , put my finger through the nose ring on the Lincoln Red bull and led him over to join the party (he was actually a real softy, but you can't take the chance pf getting sued)

'So,' I said, 'Is this a bull or is it bull****?'

Never seen anyone pack up and move all their food, plus Uncle Ted in his wheelchair into the 'proper' field, full of apologies and 'Don't you go letting go of him now.'

Very very funny and I was crying with laughter, they were so nice they even offerred me a cuppa and a slice of cake, bless them.
		
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Oh, OK, who wrote the script for that??


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## teasle (30 January 2014)

Where I ride there are nice sandy tracks- but I once met a walker who seriously thought that someone had brought the sand and made the track sandy.


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## Joanne4584 (30 January 2014)

At uni I studied environmental management. We went on trip one day to a local common to take samples from the pond. We knew in advance where we were going yet a group of girls on the course still turned up in their white trainers and complained about getting them dirty.


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## MotherOfChickens (30 January 2014)

WelshD said:



			I breed chickens for showing and have over twenty cockerels. I hold my breath for quite a while after someone new moves to the village!
		
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ha  know the feeling. don't you have bantams though? quiet wee squeaky boys ;D luckily my big Scots Grey boy has a very tuneful cockadoodle do-just as well as he is LOUD..


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## Ladyinred (30 January 2014)

Slightly Foxed said:



			Oh, OK, who wrote the script for that??
		
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Lol, I promise you it's true!! These sort of things happen to me!


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## mynutmeg (30 January 2014)

AdorableAlice said:



			Example one.

Group of ramblers all over 75, fair play hope I can walk for miles at that age, came across us yesterday.  We are wet, swamp mud and as for gateways well, a snorkel is needed.

On hearing the screams I go out into the field and find several ladies floundering.  I rescue them and get them onto concrete.  Why is it so muddy dear ?, well it is winter and a wet one at that.  But dear, when we came across last time it was lovely and not muddy at all.  When did you last come across ?, June dear.  That was followed by, why are the other fields so green.  My answer of land management for the Spring did not seem to register.

I kept my cool and led them across the yard and out onto the lane, explaining that the next bit of path was very muddy.  I didn't mention the five hungry, bored horses that were hanging around.  They then asked me what I was going to do about the flooded path, my comment of asking him upstairs to turn the tap off seemed to go down well and off they went.

Example two.

My hay man came in this afternoon and I mention the above incident to him.  Laughing he said he could better it.

He was hay making last summer on a boiling hot Sunday afternoon.  Field has footpath across it and a large group of ramblers appear.  Being a kind and polite man he stopped and let the group go past without covering them in dust.

A gentleman walker approached the tractor and asked the farmer if he knew what day it was.  Yes it is Sunday.  The walker then said the farmer should not be working on a Sunday, and the gentleman's walk had been ruined by the noise, he stated he had a right to peace and quiet whilst enjoying his walk.

The farmer explained that farming is not governed by what day it is.  The seasons and the weather dictate what happens in the countryside.  The walker was having none of it and said he would be reporting the farmer for ruining the peace of the countryside on a Sunday.

The next bit I cannot repeat, but think baler, bottom and no sunshine.
		
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Ladyinred said:



			I once found a massive extended Eastend family having a picnic in a field adjoining a footpath. They were loud, but nice people , so I told them they were off the path and couldn't stay where they were.

'Oh why love, we ain't doin' no 'arm and we'll pick up all the rubbish'

'No sorry you REALLY need to move because...'

'C'mon love we're all unpacked now and we had a  helluva job getting Uncle Ted's wheelchair across the grass..'

The whole lot of them joined in pleading their case, I think there were eleven of them... they went on and on and on until finally I got a word in..

'But, we have a bull in this field, that's why we have a notice on the gate'

'Haha love, nice try. You ain't gonna scare us orf like like. Look, they are cows and they even have calves with them..'

So, I walked across the field , put my finger through the nose ring on the Lincoln Red bull and led him over to join the party (he was actually a real softy, but you can't take the chance pf getting sued)

'So,' I said, 'Is this a bull or is it bull****?'

Never seen anyone pack up and move all their food, plus Uncle Ted in his wheelchair into the 'proper' field, full of apologies and 'Don't you go letting go of him now.'

Very very funny and I was crying with laughter, they were so nice they even offerred me a cuppa and a slice of cake, bless them.
		
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Love these - made my evening


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## RainbowDash (30 January 2014)

I am soo envious of those who live in the country, I'm a 'townie' but love the countryside and its smells and sounds (one day we may be able to afford a house with a little land).  I would never dream of moving to the country and complaining about it - also my girls are at primary school and share my love of the outdoors, know which animals their food comes from and not that it comes from Tesco's chiller section unlike most of their class mates and unfortunately their own parents


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## Mad_Cow347 (30 January 2014)

A couple of years ago I went on a lunchtime walk with a couple of the boys at work when we were out at a client in the middle of nowhere. We stayed on the clients land (a school) and got to a gate that was locked. Both looked at each other and said we'd have to turn back, I told them not to be so ridiculous, jumped the fence (in my heels and suit) and watched them both clamber over it looking a bit unsure of touching the fence/getting dirty.


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## Mince Pie (30 January 2014)

Seriously, try living next door to them...

"your cockerel wakes me up"
Yes, it's a working farm and the hens/cockerels/geese/ducks/quail were here when you moved in.

"Your farm light is too bright and shines right in our window"
It's a security light aimed in to the middle of the farm yard.

"Do you have to be moving that tractor around at 9am on a Sunday?"
Yes love, as we've already said this is a working farm and it's harvest season.

"Your strimmer is scaring my horse"
Tough ****

Honestly, I love it when it comes up to slurry spreading, they've been here for years but it still horrifies them!!
Seriously this is a working farm and has been for decades, surely you check things like this out before buying a house?!!


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## skint1 (30 January 2014)

I'm like RainbowDash, live in a town but thanks to my horses I spend most of my free time rurally, I would so love to live in a village but I know I never will because my poor little house in a crap area is what enables me to have the horses. I always get really annoyed by stories of people that move to villages and then set about trying to destroy anything actually rural that happens in their eye line from whinging about horse poo on the road to church bells chiming. I don't know what they expect village/rural life to be like!

I also related to the story about being impervious to mud and poo, recently a friend and I were walking to the pub and we were walking on a grass verge, she was telling me to "Mind the mud" and I really couldn't see what she meant because to me "mud" doesn't start til it's over the top of your foot at the very least


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## exmoorponyprincess1 (30 January 2014)

Re mention of horse poo in the road in the post above...I have had someone stop their car and ask me (just as my pony was  depositing that mornings feed onto the village road from under his tail!) if I was going to get off and pick it up???!!!!!!  I politely told her she could have it for her roses and I wouldn't even charge her for it!


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## MotherOfChickens (30 January 2014)

exmoorponyprincess1 said:



			Re mention of horse poo in the road in the post above...I have had someone stop their car and ask me (just as my pony was  depositing that mornings feed onto the village road from under his tail!) if I was going to get off and pick it up???!!!!!!  I politely told her she could have it for her roses and I wouldn't even charge her for it! 

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people used to run out with shovels after you back in the day *sighs*


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## Spring Feather (30 January 2014)

Oh lol too funny!  I'm so glad that we own a goodly amount of land to which Joe Bloggs public can't come through without our permission, and that all my neighbours are farmers.  Although it is quite funny that you have these little stories to tell.


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## GinaGeo (30 January 2014)

I'm at Uni, on an agricultural campus.  My flatmate came bounding into the kitchen exclaiming that there was a Turkey staring at her through the fire escape door.  She retrieved some bread and pottered off to feed aforementioned bird.  Out of curiosity I popped my head round the corridor door - said bird was a rather magnificent male pheasant.  A completely different flatmate also excitedly described the very same bird to me - again as a turkey.

It certainly made me appreciate being a country girl!  That said I've said and done some pretty stupid stuff when faced with a town or city so I'm not one to talk...


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## Fii (30 January 2014)

Oh  my god dont get me started!
 Oh caught a woman washing her muddy boots in the horses drinking water in the field , she was quite shocked to be told off for it as "other farmers dont mind me doing it" she wasnt even apologetic when he had to tip it all out and refill it!!
 There is a chap who when he first moved into the village joined the commons committee AND the went to the local council just to get concrete paths put across the common, so him and his dog didnt get dirty , he didnt like wearing wellies apparently! He didnt get the paths incidentally


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## Fii (30 January 2014)

And.... we took some girls from the local radio station on a wagon ride, they couldnt get over the beautiful countryside....so i thought..." but why are all these fields empty with just sheep and cows in them, why dont they have houses on them??


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## Fii (30 January 2014)

And the chap coming out of my garden gate with his young son, " but the gate was open we were only having a look!" Said gate is down a path and then over my front lawn, Not on the road , right next to a sign that says private!
 And the people who not only look through cottage windows, but cup their hand around their faces right up against the glass to get a proper view,  and when told someone actually lives there ,say, " OMG I know!!!!!!" as if they just cant believe it.


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## Tiddlypom (30 January 2014)

GinaGeo said:



			It certainly made me appreciate being a country girl!  That said I've said and done some pretty stupid stuff when faced with a town or city so I'm not one to talk...
		
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Ah yes, the country bumpkin at large in the city scenario!

Despite having lived in London for a year as a student, I am now totally out of touch with city ways. I can happily self navigate my way from A to B, but was completely confuddled by the tram system in Sheffield when driving student son back to uni! OMG surely it can't be ok to drive on those tram tracks?!

I'll keep to my quiet rural life, thank you very much.


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## Elbie (30 January 2014)

My sisters friends from uni had hardly ever left London. When they went to visit a friend in Reading they were like "oh my god, check my signal! my signal is getting low!" then they were commenting about the massive bird in the garden. It was a wood pigeon.

My sister is a primary school teacher (reception) and once a week they do forest school where they go into the wooded area and just play, in winter have hot chocolate around a fire, fun things like that. She is always amazed at the number of children that seemingly have never played outside. And it is now a common thing for the parents to say they can't go as it's cold and the child will get ill. They tell the parents, cold weather doesn't make you ill, germs make you ill! And some parents just don't send their child with suitable clothing. It's muddy and cold and they send the child off with jogging bottoms and no coat. Luckily they have a few spare waterproofs at school!

My ex BF grew up in Dovercourt. Him and his brothers were used to going in the sea all year round so although it is cold (even in summer!) they would just crack on and get straight in. One weekend some guys had come down from London. He said they walked into the sea a little bit then ran straight out shivering. They then saw ex BF and his brother getting in the sea a bit further down the beach. So they then picked up their things and moved down there and tried the sea again! They actually thought that the sea MUST be warmer there! Silly billys


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## Suechoccy (30 January 2014)

This thread makes me sad. The "them" and "us".  It is sad that so many people receive an education which gives them no knowledge of how or why the countryside functions, what makes it work or why it is important to preserve it, and the value the countryside environment brings to humankind and how precious it is.  
Everyone will dig deep into their pockets for deforestation in the amazon rainforest charities but a little more understanding and commitment to protecting and knowing our own local UK forests and countryside wouldn't go amiss.   (floodplains, housebuilding, HS2, etc).


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## lhotse (30 January 2014)

Trouble is, there is a generation that has kids who believe that milk is made in factories, meat has always been in a white plastic tray and vegetables come from the freezer. Their parents are only interested in the latest reality TV show, Chat magazine and Eastenders. They have little interest in anything in nature, most could only identify one bird because it appears on xmas cards every year. Sadly, their children are growing up with little respect for the countryside as their parents have no interest.


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## Elbie (30 January 2014)

My sister took her class to a farm. The farmer held up a sprout and asked if anyone knew what it was and hinted "you eat it at Christmas". One kid asked if it was a turkey. Oh dear!


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## Shantara (30 January 2014)

lhotse said:



			Trouble is, there is a generation that has kids who believe that milk is made in factories, meat has always been in a white plastic tray and vegetables come from the freezer. Their parents are only interested in the latest reality TV show, Chat magazine and Eastenders. They have little interest in anything in nature, most could only identify one bird because it appears on xmas cards every year. Sadly, their children are growing up with little respect for the countryside as their parents have no interest.
		
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In the unlikely event I ever have kids...I would never let that happen to mine!

Sadly, you're far too right  
It's really funny, but also a little scary! A friend came over to see the horses and we saw/heard a pheasant...she asked me in all seriousness if "The turkey would eat her?!" no, love! It is the parents that are mainly at fault - her parents were just not interested and a cat was about as much wildlife as they could deal with!
The scariest one I heard was my ex-sister-in-law. She comes from the US and genuinely asked me...no word of a lie...if the bit at the back of the horse was a 5th leg!!!


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## bumper (30 January 2014)

This thread has made me chuckle 
I live in the far west of Cornwall, so do see a lot of tourists in the summer. The funniest thing is their grasp of the back lanes..if you haven't been here, they are narrow and bordered by high Cornish hedging, sometimes wide enough to allow two cars to pass each other, sometimes with passing places. The visitors often have no idea how wide their car actually is, so flinch madly when you pass them (their faces are hilarious), and quite often have no reversing skills. Reversing is compulsory, sometimes for many many yards, to get back to a suitable passing place. I have a friend who delivers fresh fish from the Newlyn fish markets to local restaurants, and he has told me of the many times he has actually had to get out of his van and reverse somebody's car FOR them.


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## Fii (30 January 2014)

And...the chap staying in a holiday home opposite me, which is right on a junction of a single track lane. He  was sitting in his car outside the house.
 Me, "you cant park there you are blocking the lane, no one can get past" .
 him, ignoring me
 Me," excuse me!"
Him "what!!"
 Me, you are blocking the lane, you'll soon have to move if a tractor needs to get through!
 Him, "what on earth are you talking about its Sunday!!"


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

Ughhh grockles on the roads in summer! 

We had one women stop and refuse to reverse 50yards for a tractor with trailer stacked with grass for the pit and half a dozen cars behind him. My husband was there for 40minutes with everyone shouting at this useless women who just sat there ignoring then all waiting for the tractor and massive Que of God knows how many by then to reverse about a mile back to the nearest passing place. In the end someone got her out and reversed for her. Didn't even apologise just ranted about tractors being on the road... 

I don't moan so much about the country but I won't lie and say it's plain sailing for us as we only have a woodburner and an electric blanket. We don't have a cooker (no gas) can't have an electric cooker as the wiring is dodgy. The Barn needs a lot of work so winter can suck but my Lord it's so worth it!! 

Oh and I have a bantam cock and he has an enormous crow at 5am hehe upsets the guests nicely he does.


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## Mithras (31 January 2014)

I find round here, which is on the edge of a city which suddenly changes to complete countryside, quite bad.  There is a lovely massive forest which is a short drive from the city, very popular with dog walkers but it is long and linear, so they usually don't reach the far side.  However on the side near the city, it can be a bit chaotic as the people who venture only a few hundred metres from their parked cars are completely out of their element.  There is a trend, in that some people tend to get very upset by anything moving faster than a slow walking speed and tend to vent about it by way of complaint to the person moving faster.  So in a short space of time, I've had the following incidents:

- woman came out of house to reprimand me for trotting on bridlepath past her house, saying my horse's hooves were damaging it.

- I always walk past pedestrians but male dog walker saw me trotting in the distance before I came down to walk and started shouting at me that I wasn't allowed to ride in the forest. Meanwhile, his dog, which was loose, came over and started barking at my horse.  On telling him I was next to a local equestrian centre which used the forest extensively, as did I most days, he informed me that he was a Forestry Commission officer and that I was wrong.  So I got his name, contacted the Forestry Commission and they were most concerned they had someone going about impersonating one of their employees!

- While out running, a man started shouting at me, and when I stopped to ask him what was wrong, told me I should be wearing hi-viz clothing.  "But you're dressed all in black yourself" I said.

Theres also quite a few people who seem to be city types but who move out to the countryside:

- Passing another house at the end of a canter track (everyone canters there as its one of the few safe places to do so), man told me to walk as his children were scared by the sound of the "thundering hooves" in the distance.  I looked up and saw two little faces of children pressed against the window of the house, watching the world go by.

- At another livery yard once I cantered up a track again, it was quite stony in a few places, so it was a very slow canter for a few strides only.  There were some horses 3 fields and about quarter of a mile away.  When I got back, the YO had had a complaint from the owner of these horses, as the sight of my horse "galloping out of control" in the distance had scared her horses and they had got excited and cantered about the field.


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## Gloi (31 January 2014)

I met a couple on the bridlepath a while ago and the girl was making her boyfriend carry her across every muddy bit so she didn't spoil her shoes.

My friend worked at the visitor centre near a Roman fort and got asked by a tourist why the fort had been built on top of the hill so far from the car park.


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## _GG_ (31 January 2014)

Gloi said:



			I met a couple on the bridlepath a while ago and the girl was makiing her boyfriend carry her across every muddy bit so she didn't spoil her shoes.

My friend worked at the visitor centre near a Roman fort and got asked by a tourist why the fort had been built on top of the hill so far from the car park.
		
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That is priceless. X


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## cremedemonthe (31 January 2014)

Gloi said:



			I met a couple on the bridlepath a while ago and the girl was making her boyfriend carry her across every muddy bit so she didn't spoil her shoes.

My friend worked at the visitor centre near a Roman fort and got asked by a tourist why the fort had been built on top of the hill so far from the car park.
		
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LOL, so funny as are all these posts!


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## Auslander (31 January 2014)

bumper said:



			This thread has made me chuckle 
I live in the far west of Cornwall, so do see a lot of tourists in the summer. The funniest thing is their grasp of the back lanes..if you haven't been here, they are narrow and bordered by high Cornish hedging, sometimes wide enough to allow two cars to pass each other, sometimes with passing places. The visitors often have no idea how wide their car actually is, so flinch madly when you pass them (their faces are hilarious), and quite often have no reversing skills. Reversing is compulsory, sometimes for many many yards, to get back to a suitable passing place. I have a friend who delivers fresh fish from the Newlyn fish markets to local restaurants, and he has told me of the many times he has actually had to get out of his van and reverse somebody's car FOR them.
		
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Same at my folks place down in Devon! Dad is a harbourmaster, so drives a Landy with a winch on the front, lights on top and monster wheels - and usually a boat on a trailer. His boathouse is at the end of a very long very narrow lane, with passing places, and he regularly finds himself bumper to bumper with a grackle in a flashy car, who will NOT reverse, even when Dad clearly has a boat on a trailer  behind him. He has been known to turn the engine off and pick up the paper - when challenged, he says "I'm an old man, and I don't need to be anywhere urgently, so I can wait". 
His favourite story is about the final approach to the boathouse (no vehicular access, apart from him and people bringing boats down),which involves him unhitching the boat trailer from the back, hitching it to the front, and pushing it half way down the hill, into a run off space. He then has to unhitch it, get the Landy round a 90 degree turn, hitch the boat up and carry on down to the boathouse. He found an angry grockle parked in the run off one day, who flatly refused to move, saying that he couldn't find a parking space anywhere else in the village, and that Dad would have to wait til his wife got back from walking the dog. My dear old Dad, being an amenable sort of chap, said " No problem". He got out of the landy, locked it, chocked the trailer wheels, and went sailing.


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## Abacus (31 January 2014)

So if we are talking about eejit tourists... I was looking round the baths in Bath some years ago, and overheard some Americans saying 'But where are all the Romans? I thought there'd be Romans.'


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## NellRosk (31 January 2014)

Fii said:



			Oh  my god dont get me started!
 Oh caught a woman washing her muddy boots in the horses drinking water in the field , she was quite shocked to be told off for it as "other farmers dont mind me doing it" she wasnt even apologetic when he had to tip it all out and refill it!!
		
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I'd be so furious if I spotted someone doing that!!


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## pansymouse (31 January 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			The weather is often us local folks fault.
		
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Don't be silly; EVERYONE knows the weather is down to gay marriage..........


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## stencilface (31 January 2014)

Gloi said:



			I met a couple on the bridlepath a while ago and the girl was making her boyfriend carry her across every muddy bit so she didn't spoil her shoes.

My friend worked at the visitor centre near a Roman fort and got asked by a tourist why the fort had been built on top of the hill so far from the car park.
		
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On a New Year's Eve trip away a few years ago we went away to stay in a log cabin for a few days and went for a very short walk across the moors to the nearest pub. I was the one made to feel like a loser for wanting to try out my new walking boots and gaiters (Xmas presents) while all the girls kept on their soft knitted ugg type boots and the city boys their trainers. I was the one laughing when the boys had to sacrifice their trainers and carry their girlfriends through the bogs and mud. This is not about city v country, just sensible vs stupid! Yes I'm not the most savvy city type, but I stand on the right and try to not look at a tube map in public, just surreptitiously glance at the ones inside the train


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## _GG_ (31 January 2014)

pansymouse said:



			Don't be silly; EVERYONE knows the weather is down to gay marriage..........
		
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This needed a coffee/laptop warning!


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## LinzyD (31 January 2014)

What a brilliant thread.

We used to have a livery yard with a footpath running through it. Across from the stables and not directly on the footpath was a mown lawn with our garden furniture and flower planters. Almost on a weekly basis hoards of ramblers would settle down and unpack their lunches in my garden and then be horribly offended if I asked them to move on. "But there's a pic-nic table, surely that means it's a pic-nic area?" "Yes, it's MY pic-nic table, in MY garden!" I quickly learned that the most effective thing was simply to let the dog out and then pretend I hadn't noticed anything - greedy Golden Retriever very partial to crisps, sandwiches and even grapes, very hairy and usually moulting, often reeking of fox poo.


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## Sunshine (31 January 2014)

Like Stencilface's girl companions my OH has endured a NT acorn camp with townie girls doing the camp as part of the DoE Award. Over the tops of Malham Tarn relaying access paths and fencing in millstone grit when they arrive with designer jeans, and mini skirts, white trainers, no coats or gloves and announce "Oh, we thought we were doing a bit of gardening". The evening trip to the pub (across the fields as the direct route) was the same with them begging to be carried through the mud.

Personally I always remember as a teenager we took a schoolfriend with us on holiday to Wales. She was transfixed by the cows and sheep as she had never seen them in real life. When she asked how they managed to stand on the hill without falling down my mum told her they were specially bred Clwydian cows which have legs on one side shorter than the other so they can walk along the hillside. She completely believed us and the joke was maintained for the whole week, until my mum had to own up out of guilt.


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

Fantastic thread AA. 

We have some really funny ones around here - I will never understand the thrill of walking in arable Lincolnshire as I find it rather boring apart from laughing at your neighbour's drunk tram lines, however I somehow feel this is lost on your average rambler. We had a bunch last week who came to complain that one of them had lost their boot in the mud on the path it was so deep, and would it be possible we could put it down to grass next winter as that would be easier for them to walk... 

By far the most stupid was a few years ago in some bad snow at my parents. It was absolutely bucketing it down with the white stuff and we had just finished milking for the morning. I went to shut the back gates with dad and we saw what appeared to be a bobble hat...bobbing along the top of the slurry pit wall! My dad went into an utter panic - some "lost" rambler had managed to climb over a gate (with a large "Danger slurry pit" sign on it) into a very snowy slurry pit, and was just wandering across 10ft of frozen cow poo. He got so angry when my dad was frantically shouting at him to walk towards him and get off, and it took a rather confused conversation to drill into him that if he kept on walking, he would meet the part of the slurry pit which had been stirred and wasn't that frozen. 

We also have holiday cottages at home, the amount of times I catch them walking through the middle of the cover crops before shoot days makes me want to pull my eyeballs out, especially when accompanied by "seen some spectacular coloured chickens today"


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## Mithras (31 January 2014)

With regards to ramblers, what is with the sticks things?  I appreciate that they're well dressed for rambling, and at least they're out there doing it, but why do they need those stick in either hand things to walk with?  Won't they miss out on all the strengthening and balance benefits just walking without support gives them?  Its a bit strange when you run past them on a flat path and they're tottering down it poking their sticks.

But I once saw a group of ramblers heading up a city street (OK I was driving, but it was back from a race) and they were still using the stick things, to walk on a perfectly smooth footpath?!


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## shannonandtay (31 January 2014)

This has made me laugh, but hey us townies can't help being ignorant simpletons and that exactly how we were treated on our break to a lovely village on the south coast a couple of years ago.  Oh well we still enjoyed it and I'm sure they enjoyed taking our money, anyway happily back to our concrete jungle of pure ignorant bliss lol.  Actually we are very lucky to live next to one of the best forests in the country so have our own little piece of rural life on our doorstep


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

Mithras said:



			With regards to ramblers, what is with the sticks things?  I appreciate that they're well dressed for rambling, and at least they're out there doing it, but why do they need those stick in either hand things to walk with?  Won't they miss out on all the strengthening and balance benefits just walking without support gives them?  Its a bit strange when you run past them on a flat path and they're tottering down it poking their sticks.

But I once saw a group of ramblers heading up a city street (OK I was driving, but it was back from a race) and they were still using the stick things, to walk on a perfectly smooth footpath?!
		
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The sticks are for the ramblers who wish they were in Val D'isere but don't have the budget


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## jrp204 (31 January 2014)

We have a lot people spending a lot of money to live in the countryside, at the edge of the farm there is a large house divided into mega expensive flats with water frontage. One couple moved in and have moaned ever since, mud on the road (he has to wash his 4x4 every day) smells, cattle on the roads (probably 4 times a year). The best one was when he was behind a tractor and trailer coming out the road from their property, the road is a dead end. He sat in his car with his hand on the horn, the tractor stopped, unhitched the trailer in the road and drove off. He did move the trailer 10 minutes later.


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

jrp204 said:



			We have a lot people spending a lot of money to live in the countryside, at the edge of the farm there is a large house divided into mega expensive flats with water frontage. One couple moved in and have moaned ever since, mud on the road (he has to wash his 4x4 every day) smells, cattle on the roads (probably 4 times a year). The best one was when he was behind a tractor and trailer coming out the road from their property, the road is a dead end. He sat in his car with his hand on the horn, the tractor stopped, unhitched the trailer in the road and drove off. He did move the trailer 10 minutes later.
		
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I never understand why people move to the country and then complain about it constantly - it's mad isn't it? Some young couple came over this summer and posted us an invoice for their window cleaning bill. They felt it was only fair as it had actually been the "field dust" (they bought a cottage next to a field full of spring barley, which is dusty to combine) that had caused the windows to get dirty. 

I had to use all my strength to stop OH going around there to return it along with an invoice for cleaning his tractor from their BBQ fumes which they had imposed on it whilst he was harvesting late one Saturday...


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## jrp204 (31 January 2014)

The other lovely thing they do is chuck all their hedge/grass clippings into the field, have had some who decided the hedge was also all theirs plus a bit of the field.


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## MotherOfChickens (31 January 2014)

Mithras said:



			With regards to ramblers, what is with the sticks things?  I appreciate that they're well dressed for rambling, and at least they're out there doing it, but why do they need those stick in either hand things to walk with?  Won't they miss out on all the strengthening and balance benefits just walking without support gives them?  Its a bit strange when you run past them on a flat path and they're tottering down it poking their sticks.

But I once saw a group of ramblers heading up a city street (OK I was driving, but it was back from a race) and they were still using the stick things, to walk on a perfectly smooth footpath?!
		
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I met 7 of these once, all in a line-on a pony that's terrified of walking sticks having been through lots of sales rings!


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## Prince33Sp4rkle (31 January 2014)

this always makesme laugh/roll my eyes/wonder at the world:

when bro was at uni, some cows escaped from a farm and ran on to the uni campus-que one of his friends running in to the halls screaming about the "huge black and white things"

they didnt even know what a cow was!!!!!!!!!how?!


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## leflynn (31 January 2014)

I know people in their thirties that hadn't seen a real cow until the last 12 months.... amazing!


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## margaretb (31 January 2014)

I had a couple turn up on the Estate where I work, off the footpath, and when I asked them to go back to the path, and pointed out that we had a shoot on so to wander off would be dangerous, was told they had a Right to Roam, and that there was no such word as "trespass" any more.  I couldn't reason with them, but they did, after being confrontational, go back towards the footpath.  I checked with our footpaths officer that there was indeed no Right to Roam, but not in time to inform my visitors!  Frightening how insistent they were!


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## Merrymoles (31 January 2014)

Friend's rented field is on the edge of a village and has fairly rickety fencing so they have ring fenced about a meter in with electric fencing which does the job well. However, she had a visit from an enraged father who had had to "take his daughter to A&E" as she'd had a shock from the fence. Child shouldn't have been inside the perimeter fence anyway but how dare friend have a dangerous fence that children might touch!
Father had obviously never played "dare you touch the fence" as a kid...


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

margaretb said:



			I had a couple turn up on the Estate where I work, off the footpath, and when I asked them to go back to the path, and pointed out that we had a shoot on so to wander off would be dangerous, was told they had a Right to Roam, and that there was no such word as "trespass" any more.  I couldn't reason with them, but they did, after being confrontational, go back towards the footpath.  I checked with our footpaths officer that there was indeed no Right to Roam, but not in time to inform my visitors!  Frightening how insistent they were!
		
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There are a wave of them that are sure they are right and would argue black was white. Earlier this year I saw someone wandering around a field we were spraying and told him that he was actually on the wrong side of the drain, that the footpath was the other side. "No I'm not, I'm following my GPS device" was the response I got. Great, but your GPS device is wrong, and if you don't get back on the footpath as fast as your little legs will carry you, you will get a face full of fungicide.


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## AdorableAlice (31 January 2014)

Blimey, I didn't think this would go beyond my first post !  there is nothing as funny as folk.

Most of the group I rescued on Wednesday had sticks in each hand, but one lady only had one which she handed to me as she left, it was an electric post that she had taken from the neighbours field to help her balance in the mud.  The fence is mains and I can only assume it was off when she removed the post !

The yard I had in the 1990's was built around.  Prime grazing, beautiful old farm house and buildings all flattened and replaced with a few hundred top end large houses marketed as rural homes.  The yard and a neighbouring small holding remained opposite the houses purely because the lane is the boundary between two different authorities and our Council refused planning.  With the new houses occupied we had many a funny moment.

One resident arrived with a box and pony, unloaded and marched into the yard and asked me how much a week for the pony.  I don't do livery and the man was furious giving me a good cussing and telling me he had nowhere to put the pony because he had left his previous livery.

Another resident complained to the Council about my tractor going up and down the drive to the muck heap.  My cockerel caused many complaints.  I was young and keen in the 1990's and used to exercise my hunters at the crack of sparrow fart every morning before work, ride one lead one.  Complaints received about the clip clopping and horror of horrors poo on the road.

It was a lovely little yard but I wasn't sad to leave for where I am now.


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## Dunlin (31 January 2014)

I had to take my car for it's MOT the other week. The tester moaned non-stop about how I had clearly driven through a swamp and never bothered to wash my car for the past 3 years. After a brief conversation it turned out he had been down here for 3 days and had come from Manchester. It then got worse when he got inside and screamed ARGHHHHH as he was confronted with Labrador hairs, horse hairs, pig hairs and the odd pig nut that had dropped out of the sack. He was clearly about to blow his stack. I told him I had put the car through a Deluxe BP car wash this morning at a cost of £8 and had used the hoover on the inside but it wasn't very effective and due to the very dodgy country roads, muck spreading season and the immense flooding down here then yes I had effectively driven my car through a swamp to get here and all that "swamp" on the car was only 20 minutes old. He didn't believe me and thought I was disgusting. I asked him what he was going to do when a Land Rover came in for an MOT that wasn't a Chelsea Tractor but a proper working 4x4. He actually looked horrified and said "I thought the countryside was all about clean and healthy living"!

Not sure what he expected people to do, jet wash the car and then have them delivered by helicopter? Why on earth would someone so precious about muck be a car mechanic?!

I have also encountered so many non local idiots that are stuck driving through floods I have now lost count. At what point does someone in a Vauxhall Adam think that water coming up over the bonnet and in the doors is safe let alone a good idea?!


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## Adopter (31 January 2014)

We are at 1000,with footpaths along two sides to access the NT land on the other two sides, the sights we see go from funny to concerning, girls trying to walk up to the top in heels, most worrying is babies not properly dressed for the cold on their parents backs looking blue.

There is an old stone gate post in the middle of our field, and playing on web looking at standing stones one day I was horrified to see our old gatepost marked out and photographed as a standing stone.  So we now have people climbing over the stone walls,  knocking stones off to go And  examine the standing stone.  Some are very unpleasant when asked to leave!


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## lhotse (31 January 2014)

Dunlin said:



			I had to take my car for it's MOT the other week. The tester moaned non-stop about how I had clearly driven through a swamp and never bothered to wash my car for the past 3 years. After a brief conversation it turned out he had been down here for 3 days and had come from Manchester. It then got worse when he got inside and screamed ARGHHHHH as he was confronted with Labrador hairs, horse hairs, pig hairs and the odd pig nut that had dropped out of the sack.
		
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Luckily, the guy who MOT's and fixes my car also runs a farm, complete with cows, chickens, pigs and also a large livery yard. I think if I had to take it to a proper garage, they would refuse to get in it!!!


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## 3OldPonies (31 January 2014)

Now my place isn't exactly rural - in fact it's nowhere near as rural as some of you folks, but I've been laughing so much that I thought I'd share the funniest thing that I've ever seen in our field - again perfect townies.

Anyway, I have a footpath that crosses the field and it used to have stiles at either end.  To make life easier for a very old local pooch, we'd made a sort of 'dog hole' at our end of the path so that he didn't have to climb through the bottom of the fence or bottom of the stile.  

One bright and sunny Sunday morning, up turned some rather elderly walkers, one of which couldn't climb the stile, even with the other walkers lifting her legs and trying to heave her over the top.  After about 5 minutes of effort (I was hiding behind my cob shaking with laughter by this time - they'd refused an offer of help) the lady concerned spotted the dog hole.  So, the men in the group lifted her from her predicament they'd got her into halfway up and over and set her back down on the ground.  At which point she dropped to her knees and started to crawl through the dog hole.  

Now this hole was sized for a labrador, needless to stay she got well and truly stuck, when she tried to get her shoulders through.  By this time I was laughing so hard that I had to stay hidden - it took them about 10 minutes to get her free and they then decided that perhaps it was easier to walk to the end of the lane and use the gate at the bottom to get to where they wanted to go.

Just wish I had a picture to share with you


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## Meems (31 January 2014)

lhotse said:



			Luckily, the guy who MOT's and fixes my car also runs a farm, complete with cows, chickens, pigs and also a large livery yard. I think if I had to take it to a proper garage, they would refuse to get in it!!!
		
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Same here, he doesn't bat an eyelid or flinch when he has to open my car door!

It's a good job my car isn't a restaurant, I'd have been closed down by the Environmental Health Department a long time ago ..........


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## Penny Less (31 January 2014)

Its called Nordic walking, supposed to give you a work out as you walk, the "sticks " I mean


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## RaposadeGengibre (31 January 2014)

LinzyD said:



			What a brilliant thread.

We used to have a livery yard with a footpath running through it. Across from the stables and not directly on the footpath was a mown lawn with our garden furniture and flower planters. Almost on a weekly basis hoards of ramblers would settle down and unpack their lunches in my garden and then be horribly offended if I asked them to move on. "But there's a pic-nic table, surely that means it's a pic-nic area?" "Yes, it's MY pic-nic table, in MY garden!" I quickly learned that the most effective thing was simply to let the dog out and then pretend I hadn't noticed anything - greedy Golden Retriever very partial to crisps, sandwiches and even grapes, very hairy and usually moulting, often reeking of fox poo.
		
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Bet, quite a few pubs can say similar stories, when a herd of ramblers take most of tables in the garden, gets half a shandy between 6 of them, unpack theirs lunches and then get incredibly shirty when the pub owner tells them to buy food in the pub or get lost.


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## PolarSkye (31 January 2014)

lhotse said:



			Luckily, the guy who MOT's and fixes my car also runs a farm, complete with cows, chickens, pigs and also a large livery yard. I think if I had to take it to a proper garage, they would refuse to get in it!!!
		
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Back when I worked in the corporate world and was with a software company whose name begins with "Micro" and ends with "soft" we had an on-site valeting service in the basement of one of our buildings.  I used to have to clean the car before I took it to them . . . and pay them extra . . . oh, the shame .

P


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## Ibblebibble (31 January 2014)

Dunlin said:



			I had to take my car for it's MOT the other week. The tester moaned non-stop about how I had clearly driven through a swamp and never bothered to wash my car for the past 3 years. After a brief conversation it turned out he had been down here for 3 days and had come from Manchester. It then got worse when he got inside and screamed ARGHHHHH as he was confronted with Labrador hairs, horse hairs, pig hairs and the odd pig nut that had dropped out of the sack. He was clearly about to blow his stack. I told him I had put the car through a Deluxe BP car wash this morning at a cost of £8 and had used the hoover on the inside but it wasn't very effective and due to the very dodgy country roads, muck spreading season and the immense flooding down here then yes I had effectively driven my car through a swamp to get here and all that "swamp" on the car was only 20 minutes old. He didn't believe me and thought I was disgusting. I asked him what he was going to do when a Land Rover came in for an MOT that wasn't a Chelsea Tractor but a proper working 4x4. He actually looked horrified and said "I thought the countryside was all about clean and healthy living"!

Not sure what he expected people to do, jet wash the car and then have them delivered by helicopter? Why on earth would someone so precious about muck be a car mechanic?!

I have also encountered so many non local idiots that are stuck driving through floods I have now lost count. At what point does someone in a Vauxhall Adam think that water coming up over the bonnet and in the doors is safe let alone a good idea?!
		
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i have been told by an MOT man that they can actually refuse to MOT a car if it is too caked in mud!! and i did have a advisory on an MOT about the mud underneath my 4x4!! in all honesty if i'd have washed the mud off the chassis probably would have fallen apart but i kept that to myself.  Although i live in a small town it's pretty rural around the edges, the drive to my yard involves going past a small dairy unit so my car is always covered in cow crap and the lanes are narrow and flood so it's always muddy and messy. will get the jet wash on it before the MOT next month


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## Jola (31 January 2014)

I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing 
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

My mum and I once had the pleasure to watch a silly old posh city women trying to get her and her grandchildren across a shallow but wide river on Exmoor one summer. we had to hide our heads and pretend we were just sunbathing for the laughter! 
She took their shoes off and for some reason thought the best option was to chuck the shoes across to the other side one by one. we needless to say all 4 shoes ended up floating down the river and out of site and all 3 of them ended up soaking their best Sunday outfits! 

I'm sorry to say no we couldn't offer to help with all the crying with laughter. (she wasn't that old and very able bodied just an idiot!)


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

Jola said:



			I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing 
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
		
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HA! I'm so acutely aware of the possibility of looking like an idiot country bumbkin when I shockingly venture into a city so I try so hard to look like I belong. I must stand out like a sore thumb! the hay in the hair probably gives me away also. 
Plus we tend to be easily impressed by city things and I'm sure that's very evident!


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## stencilface (31 January 2014)

Jola said:



			Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
		
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I love that the DLR has no drivers, means you get to sit at the front and drive yourself!


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## Shantara (31 January 2014)

Jola said:



			I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing 
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
		
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Haha! Thankfully I'm pretty "London" and Countryside savvy, so usually don't make too much of an ass of myself! That and I'm far too cautious to cause much of a scene anyway!


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## Penny Less (31 January 2014)

Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

Penny Less said:



			Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
		
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Ha I can't help the mini inside panic of oh god what if it steals my ticket and Then I will try and put it in the wrong way or something I don't know. Londoners must hate me when I'm on their turf!


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

But I have to say I am a bit of a train expert as far as everything else goes I have no problem I love the train! Driving around a city now that is hell!


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

RaposadeGengibre said:



			Bet, quite a few pubs can say similar stories, when a herd of ramblers take most of tables in the garden, gets half a shandy between 6 of them, unpack theirs lunches and then get incredibly shirty when the pub owner tells them to buy food in the pub or get lost.
		
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Used to work in a pub in the Peak District and this happened all the time - beyond rude! 

We also had a family of 6 drive a people carrier up our (signposted private) farm lane, unpack their picnic and start having a jolly countryside afternoon on our garden furniture...on the front lawn of one of the holiday cottages. I found the funny side but we had to peel my mum of the ceiling she went so crackers. 



Penny Less said:



			Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
		
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Every time I have to go to London for work I die a little bit inside, I hate the tube, and the train, and I really hate Kings Cross station.


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## jrp204 (31 January 2014)

We have a small beach just down the road, it has been known for people to park on the beach at low tide and then toddle off to the Pandora Inn for a long lunch, then a nice walk only to find the tide has come in. Nothing like watching a car being towed up the hill with water pouring out of the boot!!


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## mirage (31 January 2014)

Has anyone ever seen a happy looking rambler? I never have,they always look miserable.We've just had a complaint that the mud from the gateways is overflowing onto the footpath and it is too muddy to walk in.


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## MagicMelon (31 January 2014)

Looking at these posts, I'm so glad I live in the middle of nowhere pretty much and rarely ever see a walker and certainly nowhere near my land - that's the good thing about having no trespassing laws up here, people can go anywhere they want which means you dont get concentrated walking places like you do down south   I'm surprised if I see a cyclist on my road. Although I did have a very sweaty cyclist turn up at my door last month (yep, in lyrca...in December...in NE Scotland...brrr!) saying he was from the nearest town and had got lost. He was due to pick his kids up from school and would I take him there!  Ummmm.... put a strange sweaty man in my car with his filthy bike, along with my 1.5 yr old son (nobody else at home) and drive him what would have been a 30 mile round trip?!  (he was 15 miles from the school!).  No thanks!!


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## RunToEarth (31 January 2014)

mirage said:



			Has anyone ever seen a happy looking rambler? I never have,they always look miserable.We've just had a complaint that the mud from the gateways is overflowing onto the footpath and it is too muddy to walk in.
		
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They love to look morbid and miserable don't they? Thing is, they never put their hand up to wave to us, or say a cheery good morning. I know it is their divide right to walk these footpaths in this weather but they could at least acknowledge the lengths we go to, to keep access open. I have a right to see my GP but I'm still pleasant to him when I go in!


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## AdorableAlice (31 January 2014)

I am the wrong side of 50, been to London 3 times for theatre trips.  Never been on tube or a plane.  Never been on a train until the London trips.

Avoided Birmingham until ill health made me go to the QE university hospital.   Never  been to Manchester,  Liverpool or any other big cities.   Bumpkin in a muddy rut is me and I love it.


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## oldie48 (31 January 2014)

Ah, towny children! Daughter's schoolfriend came to stay for weekend, although requested to come in oldest gear, she only had matching designer stuff. First thing she saw was YO's OH decapitate rat with a well aimed spade, it took me half an hour to stop her shrieking. Then fetching the pony in she fell head first into the mud at the gate, it didn't help that everyone collapsed with laughter! she never came again.



moleskinsmum said:



			Friend's rented field is on the edge of a village and has fairly rickety fencing so they have ring fenced about a meter in with electric fencing which does the job well. However, she had a visit from an enraged father who had had to "take his daughter to A&E" as she'd had a shock from the fence. Child shouldn't have been inside the perimeter fence anyway but how dare friend have a dangerous fence that children might touch!
Father had obviously never played "dare you touch the fence" as a kid...
		
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## chestnut cob (31 January 2014)

RunToEarth said:



			They love to look morbid and miserable don't they? Thing is, they never put their hand up to wave to us, or say a cheery good morning. I know it is their divide right to walk these footpaths in this weather but they could at least acknowledge the lengths we go to, to keep access open. I have a right to see my GP but I'm still pleasant to him when I go in!
		
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I say hello!!  Me and the BF do quite a bit of walking when the weather is nice.  We always say hello if we see anyone - the farmer, other walkers, anyone ;p

Sort of along the lines of the OP, something popped up on my FB newsfeed the other day.  You know when it say "X liked such and such".  It was a pic of a local estate which I'd guess people have been using as a footpath or been walking their dogs all around the fields, but without right of way/ permission.  Said estate have now put up padlocked gates, fences and lots of signs saying it is private property with NO ROW, no footpath, and asking people not to walk dogs on the land because it is private.  The photo was then followed by comments from the irate public stating that they didn't care if it was private, I've always walk my dogs there, I'll just climb the fence and carry on using it, who are they to stop me, I can go wherever I like.  Erm, no, not if there isn't a ROW and you don't have permission.  I so wanted to reply and ask how they would feel if people started walking all around their garden without permission, just because they wanted to?  But wasn't worth getting into the argument.


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## magicmoose (31 January 2014)

I live two miles up a forestry track and the glares that I get sometimes when I have to drive past walkers (very politely) could turn you to stone!! They don't seem to grasp the idea that people do live in remote areas and can't lug ten bags of horse feed home on foot!


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## Meems (31 January 2014)

Penny Less said:



			Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
		
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I live in London but if I ever have to travel on the tube into Central London I get panic attacks about the ticket machines, the  'in and out' machines and also the choice of exits at some of the central London stations, there's often three or four to chose from.   And London, being London, you can't hesitate or stop for a second :frown3::frown3:.  It really is a rat race!


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## olivia x (31 January 2014)

I live in a small market town surrounded by gorgeous countryside-- some of it NT-- somewhat near a mainline rail station to London. Co-workers are all amazed that I do not like going to London and am happy to putter around on the lanes and in the countryside-- pre recent horse acquisition, I did a lot of cycling around the one track lanes and loved seeing all the lovely sights of the changing seasons, the forgotten old Norman churches, the still existent village green where a cricket game was going on. I have to catch a bus to get to the horse yard-- and so was on the way through the town centre to the bus stop, with not entirely clean breeches and boots on, and half chaps. Someone I know stopped and told me how fashionable I looked-- I thought they were having a go, but they were serious. I had a good look around-- and noticed the amount of faux riding fashion all around-- leggings, nearly but not quite riding boot looking boots, etc. My half chaps for just a moment made me fashion forward I guess!


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## Cowpony (31 January 2014)

bumper said:



			This thread has made me chuckle 
I live in the far west of Cornwall, so do see a lot of tourists in the summer. The funniest thing is their grasp of the back lanes..if you haven't been here, they are narrow and bordered by high Cornish hedging, sometimes wide enough to allow two cars to pass each other, sometimes with passing places. The visitors often have no idea how wide their car actually is, so flinch madly when you pass them (their faces are hilarious), and quite often have no reversing skills. Reversing is compulsory, sometimes for many many yards, to get back to a suitable passing place. I have a friend who delivers fresh fish from the Newlyn fish markets to local restaurants, and he has told me of the many times he has actually had to get out of his van and reverse somebody's car FOR them.
		
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My grandparents were Cornish and used to run a B&B in St Ives.  One day a guest came back from his day out enthusing about the great roads - saying that the single-lane one way system was fantastic because you could drive fast without worrying about something coming the other way!!


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## Meems (31 January 2014)

Cowpony said:



			My grandparents were Cornish and used to run a B&B in St Ives.  One day a guest came back from his day out enthusing about the great roads - saying that the single-lane one way system was fantastic because you could drive fast without worrying about something coming the other way!! 

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Oh lord ............... :eek3::eek3:


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## babymare (31 January 2014)

loving this post folks.


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## Cowpony (31 January 2014)

Oh, oh, I've just remembered a classic also from my grantparents' days - the local butcher came across a dead owl on the road, so for a joke hung it up in his shop.  An old lady, who ran a B&B, came in and asked to buy the "square-faced chicken".  The butcher told her it wasn't a chicken it was owl.  (The next bit you need to read in a Cornish accent).  The old lady said "I don't care how owl it is, it'll do for the visitors."


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## Slightly Foxed (31 January 2014)

Suechoccy said:



			This thread makes me sad. The "them" and "us".  It is sad that so many people receive an education which gives them no knowledge of how or why the countryside functions, what makes it work or why it is important to preserve it, and the value the countryside environment brings to humankind and how precious it is.  
Everyone will dig deep into their pockets for deforestation in the amazon rainforest charities but a little more understanding and commitment to protecting and knowing our own local UK forests and countryside wouldn't go amiss.   (floodplains, housebuilding, HS2, etc).
		
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You're so right (although I think the rain forests are mega important!).

I'm country born and bred, and have spent some time commuting to London. I think I can hold my own in both rural and urban environments, it's just a case of having an open mind and being willing to learn.

There is a bit of smugness about this thread that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Right, now I'm putting on my flippers and snorkel and venturing out into the lakes that used to be fields. I've issued the horses with water wings and switched the lorry to ark mode!


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## Slightly Foxed (31 January 2014)

PolarSkye said:



			Back when I worked in the corporate world and was with a software company whose name begins with "Micro" and ends with "soft" we had an on-site valeting service in the basement of one of our buildings.  I used to have to clean the car before I took it to them . . . and pay them extra . . . oh, the shame .

P
		
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Excellent!


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## EffyCorsten (31 January 2014)

Slightly Foxed said:



			You're so right (although I think the rain forests are mega important!).

I'm country born and bred, and have spent some time commuting to London. I think I can hold my own in both rural and urban environments, it's just a case of having an open mind and being willing to learn.

There is a bit of smugness about this thread that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Right, now I'm putting on my flippers and snorkel and venturing out into the lakes that used to be fields. I've issued the horses with water wings and switched the lorry to ark mode!
		
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I don't think there is smugness or any malice in the thread. I'm sure the city folk feel the same way with the 'them and us' thing. I have lots of family and friends who think I'm some sort of idiot country person and I'm missing out on the whole city life scene. I may well be but the two lifestyles are so different now that it's virtually impossible for there not to be some sort of divide between rural and city culture/lifestyles/mind set 

I think it is supposed to be a fun thread with a bit of mick taking out of ourselves as well as our city counterparts. well I hope that's how it comes across anyway.


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## cambrica (31 January 2014)

Abacus said:



			So if we are talking about eejit tourists... I was looking round the baths in Bath some years ago, and overheard some Americans saying 'But where are all the Romans? I thought there'd be Romans.'
		
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This reminds me of an argument I got into at the Colosseum in Rome with some Americans! Three of the loudest, brashest Bette Midler types were following us around making the most ridiculous remarks. I was with my OH and were taking in the enormity of the Colosseum when one of them said very loudly "d'ya know - in Engerland they have these great big arenas, just like this one, for fighting dogs and they put these poor dogs into the middle and they fight till the death" to which the other replied "Oh my they are soooo cruel in England". My OH is muttering to me 'don't say a word'. Of course I had to and told them that the worst animal cruelty I have ever seen was at a rodeo in America where a very young calf was chased, exhausted, collapsed and left out in 115 degree heat where it died. At least it shut them up!

My step-fathers niece decided she wanted to start riding and she was actually doing quite well at not being a townie. That was until one of the farmers sheep next door got tangled up in barb wire. Armed with some large shear like scissors I asked her to hold the ewe steady. Total meltdown, first it was going to bite her, then kick her, then she daren't touch its fleece. Hopeless!

I do know of some people that moved to the village and within a year had sold and moved back out again as the flies from the horses in the field behind were too much!


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## ClobellsandBaubles (31 January 2014)

honetpot said:



			I blame the Country Living, National Trust view of the countryside that sits on people coffee tables, with a green fields on every page, and animals clean, grazing on immaculate grass. I notice they never do photo shoots in winter.
		
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Abacus said:



			Oh, these are sweet. Completely agree with oldie48 that we are plain lucky.

Even so, I remember with fondness when I lived in the east end (london) and was doing my PhD. We used to take the undergrads out to the country for field trips - lots of them had never been out of London. We spent a long day on the beach once, and one of the brighter ones asked why the water was going up and down... (that'll be the tides, then). And then walked through a field, to hear one say 'Look at those funny looking things! It's like they're covered in wool'. They were sheep. 

Really liked the glamorous girl who wore full leather and high platforms to walk up a hill (not an especially challenging hill, either). She needed to be carried, but was hugely charming and funny about it, so it made you not mind quite so much...
		
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I took out a ride of kids from Sheffield when I lived in the Lakes, they were terrified I was going to be poisoned by blackberries from the hedge and they would not be convinced that a field full of sheep were not cows because there were dirty and not 'like clouds'. I lived on the coast for a while as well and explaining rips, tides, sandbanks and not getting cut off were regular conversations even when you knew half an hour later you would still have to wade out and help them carry their buggy back through the waves.


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## TelH (31 January 2014)

I practically got lynched on FB last summer because I updated my status saying that I was getting a tad annoyed at tourists walking up my driveway and feeding my ponies random stuff that ponies really shouldn't be eating  Someone said city people will have never seen a horse before (seriously?! It's a horse, not a Rhino or some other endangered species) and I was being mean not to let them get on with it. I tried to explain the possible health implications but apparently that didn't matter 

A couple of times I've been at agricultural shows with my mini Shettie , the kind of show where townies might go for a day out, and I've been asked how long will it take for her to grow as big as that one (whilst pointing to a 17hh+ heavyweight hunter or a Shire)...

And staying on the Shettie theme, one day a random tourist turns up at my gate and tells me I have 2 sheep loose on the road. I tell him that this is rather odd since I don't own any sheep but I will go and attempt to round them up and locate their owner anyway. Oh, he says, I saw the 2 black sheep in your field and thought those 2 must be yours too. The 2 'sheep' in my field were 2 mini Shetties


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## ClobellsandBaubles (31 January 2014)

I drive along a country back lane to work from the city, usually it's very quiet but on the weekend there are loads of chelsea chariot types that don't seem to know how big their cars are going to and from the kiddies petting farm.This one guy practically stopped in the middle of the road, plenty of room to two cars, and started waving at me for no apparent reason and making slow down gestures, the only reason I can imagine is he thought my excessive speed (all of about 30mph and decelerating in confusion) and the imaginary gigantic width of his car was just too much to cope with.


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## Greylegs (31 January 2014)

Loving this thread, but I'm sure that somewhere out there if we were to look, there's a forum for city dwellers chortling about how us country types can't cope with multi-storey car parks/tube trains/pavements/shopping centres/crowded streets/ living 5 minutes from Sainsburys etc etc.

... But good luck to them. Leave me out here in rural Derbyshire please ... where I'll keep trying to be polite to the townies who invade our space at weekends with their inappropriate clothing and footwear, undisciplined dogs and kids, lack of awareness that mud happens when it rains, ignorance of the RoW laws and inability to distinguish a cow from a sheep. 

Hey ... They arrive on Saturdays (not too early!) and go away by tea time on Sunday (or earlier if it rains) and leave the greater part of rural UK to those of us who live here, love it, care for it, and truly appreciate the glory that surrounds us. 

As my French friend would say ... Vive la difference!


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## babymare (31 January 2014)

Great post greylegs. some workmates who live in city laiugh at me,the country loving bumpkin,just dont understand i loathe citys and friendly take the pee out of me when i dont get thier city lives lol. bothered? nope lol


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## Slightly Foxed (31 January 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			I don't think there is smugness or any malice in the thread. I'm sure the city folk feel the same way with the 'them and us' thing. I have lots of family and friends who think I'm some sort of idiot country person and I'm missing out on the whole city life scene. I may well be but the two lifestyles are so different now that it's virtually impossible for there not to be some sort of divide between rural and city culture/lifestyles/mind set 

I think it is supposed to be a fun thread with a bit of mick taking out of ourselves as well as our city counterparts. well I hope that's how it comes across anyway.
		
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Okey dokey!


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## Spot_On (31 January 2014)

Love this thread!

I seem to have been born in to the wrong family... While I have always lived in or around a city (mainly London) or big towns, I have always disliked it!! Love being out in the countryside whether it is sunny, raining or snowy... Seeing various farm animals out of my window  them especially when on holiday or driving past fields. Rest of my family seem to like being in the hustle and bustle of city life.


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## Nudibranch (31 January 2014)

Well I'm not going to join in the townie bashing. It's nice to see people enjoying the countryside, not least the scouts who asked ever so politely if they could run a rescue scenario in the field, they and the horses had great fun. Tbh round here its the country set who are a pita. Don't like us grazing at home...why would I use the local rubbish livery yard?! Don't like hens pecking on the verge, don't like much tbh!


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## Nitro mouse (31 January 2014)

Last summer I was on a beach in Pembrokeshire, when a small coach turned up with about 20 young males all around 18 years of age, coach was from London area. Apparently they gphad come to learn to surf. So lots of bravado and shouting etc, climbed into their wetsuits, did the on beach tuition. Then the instructor sent them all into the sea at a run. Where they all shrieked like little girls and ran straight out. It's the funniest thing I have seen in ages.
Many moons ago I used to hack out along a coastal path that had specially built barbecue areas where groups of kids from inner city areas could come, have outside fun etc. my horse became a very good ambassador stoping for pats etc. I always wear fluorescent stuff as does horse the best comment was from one small boy from Liverpool. Please Miss can I give the police horse a burger? I was sitting on a 14.1 Dales Pony lol


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## Shantara (31 January 2014)

mirage said:



			Has anyone ever seen a happy looking rambler? I never have,they always look miserable.We've just had a complaint that the mud from the gateways is overflowing onto the footpath and it is too muddy to walk in.
		
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I don't meet many around where I ride - it's pretty dull tbh!
However, the only ones I have met have been wonderful!! I had to pass them on a VERY narrow path and each of them said thanks and commented on how lovely Ned is  
Though, I have come across several while walking myself, who tend to just grunt hello...maybe.


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## AdorableAlice (31 January 2014)

Nudibranch said:



			Well I'm not going to join in the townie bashing. It's nice to see people enjoying the countryside, not least the scouts who asked ever so politely if they could run a rescue scenario in the field, they and the horses had great fun. Tbh round here its the country set who are a pita. Don't like us grazing at home...why would I use the local rubbish livery yard?! Don't like hens pecking on the verge, don't like much tbh!
		
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The thread was not started as a 'townie bashing' exercise.  It is merely a bit of fun and has at times, been a rather frightening example of ignorance of how the countryside and farming operates.  Many children have never seen a real horse, have any idea where their big mac comes from etc etc.  It is sad and very worrying for the future of farming.  I have my doubts that central government is too interested in farming.

There is a big difference between the 'country set' as you mention and the farming community, but perhaps it is not appropriate to to look into that one.


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## Nudibranch (31 January 2014)

Sadly though aa, some of the posts do come across as them and us, look at the stupid townies, in fact verging on snobbish. Not all but a few. The rude, ignorant type tourists are in the minority and don't forget, our farmers would have no market without the town masses. Even the ones who don't know where their food comes from....they still buy it!


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## babymare (31 January 2014)

lo and the "townies" bash us trust me. But i do find it sad the lack of understanding about our countryside to city folk


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## LaMooch (31 January 2014)

babymare said:



			lo and the "townies" bash us trust me. But i do find it sad the lack of understanding about our countryside to city folk 

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I agree with this. Its sad not knowing what a cow, sheep or pig is yet they provide food or are food that keeps us alive


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## Ladyinred (31 January 2014)

I sincerely doubt there is any real townie-bashing going on. And even if there were I am sure it happens in equal measure from both sides.. after all who termed country folk as 'carrot-crunchers' or 'bumpkins'? I am fairly certain it must be town dwellers!

It seems lately that there are very few HHO threads taken at face value, especially the light hearted threads like this. Someone always has to read a more sinister meaning in to them and tbh, it's becoming a tad boring. Life has been a bit grim for many of us this winter, with the never ending rain.. let's all find some amusement where we can without being so quick to criticise.


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## Kit-kat (31 January 2014)

a group of over 60's ramblers - about 12 stopped to " look at the view" across the fields by my yard in a private parking area....my dressage instructor had just dropped £100 there and came back to get it...guess what? the "nice " ramblers had pocketed the money and gone off with their  bloody nordic walking sticks..... thanks!


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## Mince Pie (31 January 2014)

Ladyinred said:



			I sincerely doubt there is any real townie-bashing going on. And even if there were I am sure it happens in equal measure from both sides.. after all who termed country folk as 'carrot-crunchers' or 'bumpkins'? I am fairly certain it must be town dwellers!

It seems lately that there are very few HHO threads taken at face value, especially the light hearted threads like this. Someone always has to read a more sinister meaning in to them and tbh, it's becoming a tad boring. Life has been a bit grim for many of us this winter, with the never ending rain.. let's all find some amusement where we can without being so quick to criticise.
		
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Hear hear!


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## skint1 (31 January 2014)

Meems said:



			I live in London but if I ever have to travel on the tube into Central London I get panic attacks about the ticket machines, the  'in and out' machines and also the choice of exits at some of the central London stations, there's often three or four to chose from.   And London, being London, you can't hesitate or stop for a second :frown3::frown3:.  It really is a rat race!
		
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And you live there Meems! I find Central London terrifying, the tubes, the crowds, the lot. I think it's damned selfish of them to have all the best museums and theatres to themselves and force me into  that hell hole!   I'm originally from a town just outside NYC, and I hate that even more! I like Amsterdam. If I had to live in a city, that is the one I would choose!

ps I didn't think this was a townie bashing thread, and I am townie! Only ones that I would bash are those who move to a rural location and then put all their efforts into destroying anything actually rural which has the nerve to go on there


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## MrsElle (31 January 2014)

I have a new neighbour.  He was telling me one day that he was 'nipping into town' to buy some trainers.  I asked him which town he was going to, and he told me the name of the nearest one, five miles away.  I explained to him that he wouldn't find anywhere there that would sell trainers, and he would have to go to 'big town', an hours drive away.  He was absolutely aghast!  He can't get used to shops closing at 7pm, to the garages closing at 7pm, to things not being open on Sundays, to mud.  Oh, and we took him to a local gun smiths and outfitters to get some wellies.  He hasn't had wellies (which spell check wants to call willies ) since he was a toddler, and the man in the shop was shaking his head in amazement when neighbour asked how to put wellies on, and how to get them off.  We had to demo boot jacks for him, and he still struggles to use one 

I don't see him lasting long tbh


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## mandwhy (31 January 2014)

I love it when people moan about tractors on the roads especially during harvest, I say 'where do you get your food then?' and suggest maybe they could boycott all things being harvested and products derived from them.


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## Fii (1 February 2014)

Sunshine said:



			Personally I always remember as a teenager we took a schoolfriend with us on holiday to Wales. She was transfixed by the cows and sheep as she had never seen them in real life. When she asked how they managed to stand on the hill without falling down my mum told her they were specially bred Clwydian cows which have legs on one side shorter than the other so they can walk along the hillside. She completely believed us and the joke was maintained for the whole week, until my mum had to own up out of guilt.
		
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Thats just reminded me about a local shops new-ish owners.. the lady shopkeeper was really worried about the cows on the hill "because they might fall off!!


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## Lunchbox legend (1 February 2014)

Greylegs said:



			... but I'm sure that somewhere out there if we were to look, there's a forum for city dwellers chortling about how us country types can't cope with multi-storey car parks/tube trains/pavements/shopping centres/crowded streets/ living 5 minutes from Sainsburys etc etc.

...

...

As my French friend would say ... Vive la difference!
		
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I would love to see that - bet that'd a scream   .  Might do a search for one if I have nowt better to do sometime.



Ladyinred said:



			I sincerely doubt there is any real townie-bashing going on. And even if there were I am sure it happens in equal measure from both sides.. after all who termed country folk as 'carrot-crunchers' or 'bumpkins'? I am fairly certain it must be town dwellers!

It seems lately that there are very few HHO threads taken at face value, especially the light hearted threads like this. Someone always has to read a more sinister meaning in to them and tbh, it's becoming a tad boring. Life has been a bit grim for many of us this winter, with the never ending rain.. let's all find some amusement where we can without being so quick to criticise.
		
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I sit on both sides of the fence having lived in cities, towns, villages, middle of nowheres here in the UK and abroad.  Give me rural life every time!  I can see how the townies don't understand and also how the 'country bumpkins' could stand with jaws dropped at the townies escapades   .  I'm loving this thread  .


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## sarahann1 (1 February 2014)

Loving this thread! 

I once picked up an American DJ from the airport in Edinburgh to take her to Dundee, now if you know this area you'll know there is a motorway route and a scenic route through Fife. I took the Fife route thinking it would be nice to show her a bit of Scotland because she'd only ever been in Edinburgh and Glasgow previously. 

Some highlights:

"Who cuts the grass?" Asked when passing through some hilly bits.

"Why do people live here, what is there to do?" She was aghast I grew up in a village with less than a 1000 people, I had to explain to her that was by village standards relatively big. 

"OMG! Is that a real donkey?" 

In her defence she'd spent all of her life in big cities. 

My OH is a bit of a townie, he's still not got the whole walking through mud thing despite years of coming to the stables with me. Still makes me laugh a lot!


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## Mad_Cow347 (1 February 2014)

AdorableAlice said:



			Many children have never seen a real horse, have any idea where their big mac comes from etc etc.
		
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I was working at my firms london office this week & they were all laughing at one lad who is 18 as he'd asked what animal pork came from, when told to guess he went for cow. It does worry me that people can get to this age and have no idea on these things (particularly when it's what they are eating)... Although I guess at least he knew it was from an animal.


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## RunToEarth (1 February 2014)

Nudibranch said:



			Sadly though aa, some of the posts do come across as them and us, look at the stupid townies, in fact verging on snobbish. Not all but a few. The rude, ignorant type tourists are in the minority and don't forget, our farmers would have no market without the town masses. Even the ones who don't know where their food comes from....they still buy it!
		
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Seriously - it is a light hearted thread, there is no need to get so uptight about it.


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## jrp204 (1 February 2014)

Nudibranch said:



			Sadly though aa, some of the posts do come across as them and us, look at the stupid townies, in fact verging on snobbish. Not all but a few. The rude, ignorant type tourists are in the minority and don't forget, our farmers would have no market without the town masses. Even the ones who don't know where their food comes from....they still buy it!
		
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Believe me, we have ignorant 'country' people too. I don't think there is any element of snobbishness and yes, the rude ignorant tourists as you put it are in the minority, if everyone did what they do it would be rather worrying!


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## bumper (1 February 2014)

Cowpony said:



			My grandparents were Cornish and used to run a B&B in St Ives.  One day a guest came back from his day out enthusing about the great roads - saying that the single-lane one way system was fantastic because you could drive fast without worrying about something coming the other way!! 

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O M G!!! Lethal, but doesn't actually surprise me. The thing is, the Cornish hedging that borders the lanes is often so high you cannot see over it round the corners to the road ahead...and also NOT hedging...it's stone walls allowed to become overgrown with greenery/bushes/trees/gorse etc. Not very yielding if you happen to hit it!


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## Cinnamontoast (1 February 2014)

We had to rescue a mum with a pushchair who had let her dog off the lead and he was 'playing' with the horses. Playing by chasing the youngsters who were terrified and couldn't get away :rolleyes3: She had pushed the buggy all the way across the mares' field through filth and mud. Mad.

Another amazing incident saw us asking a party of picnickers to remove their table and chairs :eek3: from the middle of the field, miles off the footpath. The guy was sat strumming his guitar! Another set up a tent for the night! It's not like we're rural, it was just outside of Watford and the field leads to the M1! The other side of the field is busy and people stop to feed the horses, grr! I asked one family politely if they could stop THROWING carrots at the horses and suggested that they shouldn't feed them. They then asked, all exasperated, what they could feed because the children wanted to feed the horses. I used the analogy of me coming and feeding endless smarties to their kids or rubbish to their dog. Why are horses seen as public property? I'm so glad my current yard isn't near anything! 

I recently had to ask about ten ramblers (complete with Nordic sticks!) to hold still while my spooky boy panicked at them: the exit of the footpath is right by the gate. They were hilarious, bless them, stayed where they were and asked if they could feed him a treat.


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## jrp204 (1 February 2014)

We once found a group of a dozen grass boarders out in one of the steep fields, it was not grass but wheat and there was no footpath in sight,


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## Highlands (1 February 2014)

Take year 7 camping to an adventure park, when I say camping its glamping.... Beds, electric etc.... Tell my form 3 or 4 times you will need fleeces, coats etc, might be cold..... 

Kids turn up with handbag luggage....6 had to go home...extreme cold.... It was June...


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## ozpoz (1 February 2014)

I used to love seeing the walkers come past my garden dressed in full survival gear. : )


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## RunToEarth (1 February 2014)

ozpoz said:



			I used to love seeing the walkers come past my garden dressed in full survival gear. : )
		
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They do look funny! But then I think good on them, I live next to the peak district and the weather changes very quickly. It is the younger people in trainers and hot pants that wander onto the moors with nothing but sunnies and a can of coke that usually end up having to be ambicoptered out!


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## littleshetland (1 February 2014)

I love living in an AONB area - during the summer months I've only to hack up the road or drive the wee shetland in his little buggy and within the space of about 1- 2 miles I've had my photo taken 3-4 times.  I've taken up wearing make up again....


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## khalswitz (1 February 2014)

The track near us that was an old railway line has now been tarmac'd over into a footpath. It's not ideal, especially as with the tarmac there are a lot of cyclists now as well as dog walkers and joggers, but if you don't have time to cross the main road and head into the woods, and your horse is fairly steady, then it does for a brief walk and some trotting just for exercise.

Walkers are always stopping, telling me how nice it is to see horses - for some reason not many horses use it, despite it obviously being perfect for horses with it being off road and not muddy at all thanks to the tarmac!! Tried to explain why this wasn't the case but received blank looks, so now just smile and nod...


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## Merrymoles (1 February 2014)

In defence of ramblers, I once had a party hold a narrow, awkward gate open for me. 
My then lad was horrified by them, spooked sideways into the gate post and caught my stirrup on the catch before going forward at a rapid rate of knots. I managed to turn a complete somersault and keep hold of him while landing on my feet as I came off. We got a warm round of applause, someone held him while I replaced the stirrup and they made sure I was back on and safe before setting off again. 
We also got a round of applause another time when same horse belted up a hill towards some picnicking ramblers (safely out of the way) and threw in a fly buck and a massive fart! We all thought it was hilarious!


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## teabiscuit (1 February 2014)

Speaking of farts ,  I was once riding up a steep hill on my Welshie who can fart for minutes at a time. 
He started one of his marathon jet streams as we walked along in front of some walkers , a little voice piped up asking if he had eaten curry the night before.
They were joking


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## Shantara (1 February 2014)

littleshetland said:



			I love living in an AONB area - during the summer months I've only to hack up the road or drive the wee shetland in his little buggy and within the space of about 1- 2 miles I've had my photo taken 3-4 times.  I've taken up wearing make up again....
		
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Haha! I do when I ride anywhere out of the village!!
When I rode him into Milton Keynes, I lost count how many times we had our picture taken


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## Nessa4 (1 February 2014)

Was once belting up a bridlepath on my old boy (IDxTB Black with whites and blaze, very handsome) cameround bend and up ahead was a lady picking blackberries , she pointed her camers, he (being VERY vain!) screeched to a halt and posed - she got a lovely shot of him wearing me as earrings, and was very apoogetic for "Scaring him".  Had to explain he always did that with cameras!


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## EffyCorsten (1 February 2014)

I love the funny stories! I'm glad I don't get my photo taken I'd have to drag a hairbrush through my hair and actually put makeup on!


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## helbe (1 February 2014)

Our townie neighbours to our farm rang us one morning at 6am to tell us we had 2 lambs on their paddock and could we get them off before they poo`d ! the same neighbour also complained to us because there was a guinea fowl perched outside her en suite looking in at her having a shower,you have to look on the funny side of the things these people say,they cant help it.


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## Gazen (1 February 2014)

I have had such a good giggle over the funny stories.  Although I was brought up in rural North Wales my husband is a Londoner and until 2 years ago we lived in London until we moved to our lovely small village...complete with Norman church with ringing bells, crowing cockerels, bird song at 3am during the summer, pheasants by the thousand, deer, rabbits, sheep, cows, horses, mud (Oh yes lots of mud!), tractors and harvesters working from 4am to past midnight during the summer.  I wouldn't change it for anything!


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## LaMooch (1 February 2014)

Gazen said:



			I have had such a good giggle over the funny stories.  Although I was brought up in rural North Wales my husband is a Londoner and until 2 years ago we lived in London until we moved to our lovely small village...complete with Norman church with ringing bells, crowing cockerels, bird song at 3am during the summer, pheasants by the thousand, deer, rabbits, sheep, cows, horses, mud (Oh yes lots of mud!), tractors and harvesters working from 4am to past midnight during the summer.  I wouldn't change it for anything!
		
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I use to love driving home from work at 10/11pm seeing all the combines out on the fields getting the grain in before the rain it was lovely to see IMHO


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## EffyCorsten (1 February 2014)

Oh I love seeing the guys working the fields all night in the summer it just gives me warm fuzzies <3


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## frostyfingers (1 February 2014)

At a previous house we had a footpath across the shortest side of our bottom of 3 fields.  My horses were in the top field with a mains electric fence keeping them away from the fences/hedges which was clearly marked.  I looked out of the window one day to see a small group of people about to clamber over the fence - I screamed at them not to touch it and rushed over the field to find out what they were doing.  They'd gone for a walk but "were a bit too tired so wanted to take a shortcut" - off the footpath, through a closed gate, up a hill, through another closed gate and over or under the electric fence.  I pointed out to them that they as they were off the footpath they were on private property and please could they go back.  I was given an earful about how much further it was that way round, that the electric fence was dangerous and illegal, and that they weren't doing any harm.  I stood my ground and made them go back but they were really aggressive and unpleasant.

However today I took my horse up to the Malvern Hills as hunting was cancelled and I was looking for somewhere non muddy to ride.  I was a bit apprehensive as although there are bridlepaths and I'd checked where I could go I knew it would be busy.   As you can imagine it was heaving with walkers/runners/cyclists in rustly jackets, backpacks, ski poles and assorted paraphernalia.  I was very careful and said good morning and thank you to everyone I met (pretty much non stop) and without fail they were all incredibly good at stepping aside, slowing down and catching dogs.  Despite being very much the odd one out no-one looked sideways at me or said anything untoward, it was great.


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## Clodagh (1 February 2014)

We used to have holiday lets here and we had guests staying who complained about the bbirds singing outside their windows at 4am. Well, there wasn't a lot I could do about it.


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## mirage (1 February 2014)

I am the first to admit that I hate going into cities.I go in twice a year at most and always lock the car doors whilst I'm driving.I am also scared of car washes and multi storey car parks.The girls are the same,if we ever go into the nearest city after dark,they gaze in wonder at the street lights and buses.We are right bumpkins.


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## babymare (1 February 2014)

with you mirage 100%. I hate citys and feel totally out if my comfott zone. But people love them so each to thier own but give me the country any day. A memory i have is driving down a country road last year withOH for 20 mins behind a flock of  sheep just in awe of the dog. Bueatiful sunny day peace and quiet gorgeous scenery. Lovely memory


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## EffyCorsten (1 February 2014)

babymare said:



			with you mirage 100%. I hate citys and feel totally out if my comfott zone. But people love them so each to thier own but give me the country any day. A memory i have is driving down a country road last year withOH for 20 mins behind a flock of  sheep just in awe of the dog. Bueatiful sunny day peace and quiet gorgeous scenery. Lovely memory

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I love watching my farmers dogs work they are a couple of geniuses. My collie is rubbish compared to those pros! 
I love getting stopped for livestock I don't care if I see them all day I enjoy it!


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## lastchancer (1 February 2014)

Great threat this, I actually thought it was just me who felt like a fish out of water in the city lol


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## olivia x (1 February 2014)

My American hometown is in the middle of farmland-- and so it was a very ordinary sight to see tractors and combines and whatever other assorted farm equipment on the road, and to pull over to make room for it. I too love the sight of a combine or tractor in a field-- something very satisfying in that. 

Today, just as the wind began to blow hard and the clouds roll in, I was leading my horse back to her stable. The yard has several acres of land but is surrounded by the horrors of suburbia. A man was leading his toddler around the yard by the hand, wheeling her small wheeled scooter-- my mare took one hard look and rolled her eyes, so we stopped. The man and his toddler naturally decided to take up residence outside the open stable door that belonged to --ME!!! ( well my mare). I waited several yards away from them, gesturing for them to move on. Finally, grumpily, he seemed to get the hint, and no sooner were we in the stable then there they were, seemingly thinking it was a good idea for the toddler to try to stick her fingers in the mare's eyes. 

Arrghhhh. A yard is not a petting zoo and horses can be unpredictable and dangerous.

They were politely moved on by some of the helpers on the yard. The man seemed rather put out that he was not warmly welcomed into the yard.


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## YorksG (1 February 2014)

There is a  hotel at the top of our road, across from the "common",  they host a lot of weddings and they often do photos on the common in nice weather, if we are riding while  they are taking pics we wait out of shot, except for one couple who wanted us in the background


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## Grumpyfell (1 February 2014)

Four oldish walkers on a restricted byway, ladies wearing sandals.  My Fell stopped to say a friendly hello, walkers cowered in a gateway saying I should not be riding on a "footpath".  Pony refused to budge, walkers refused to pass him as they "did not want to be kicked".  Pony still refusing to budge so I got off and stood behind him, to prove he does not kick, at that point they "did not want to be bitten"!  Eventually persuaded my dangerous brute to move off at a sedate pace.  Hope they enjoyed their country walk!

A group of us met a smartly dressed lady on a quiet country lane.  She stopped to admire the horses and then told us the roads are now too dangerous for riders.  We mentioned the shortage of bridleways.  She told us she did not approve of bridleways as she once tried to take a disabled child in a wheelchair along a bridleway, and it was muddy.  At that point a large mare in our party, with a large bladder, did a very large wee, on the road, right next to the smartly dressed lady......


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## Meems (1 February 2014)

Grumpyfell said:



			Four oldish walkers on a restricted byway, ladies wearing sandals.  My Fell stopped to say a friendly hello, walkers cowered in a gateway saying I should not be riding on a "footpath".  Pony refused to budge, walkers refused to pass him as they "did not want to be kicked".  Pony still refusing to budge so I got off and stood behind him, to prove he does not kick, at that point they "did not want to be bitten"!  Eventually persuaded my dangerous brute to move off at a sedate pace.  Hope they enjoyed their country walk!
		
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Ooooohh yes, they are highly dangerous at both ends don't you know ........... :wink3::wink3:


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## babymare (1 February 2014)

Oh Grumpyfell you have to love our horses for not "choosing " right moment lol


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## Red-1 (2 February 2014)

We have relatives who come and visit from London, and TBH they cope quite well with the lack of shops, cows going up and down the main street twice a day, more horses than cars..... They make a huge effort to fit in, borrow wellies (hey- my spellchecker took that well, was looking for the error mentioned in an earlier post), they walk our dog and visit the pub. 
The one thing they cannot cope with- apparently it is too DARK to sleep at night (no streetlights here) and so they have to have a night light! 

Too Dark to SLEEP??????


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## EffyCorsten (2 February 2014)

When I lived in the caravan for work in the summer I kept waking up at night feeling like I was being suffocated because it was so dark! It was so strange because I guess I had nothing not even the moon to give a little light because of the blinds. I don't have any street lights here as I'm in the middle of nowhere but I don't actually have curtains on my bedroom windows so I can see the stars or moon light. I felt like such an idiot I had to have the blinds open to sleep in that damn caravan!

I think it was because I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face It felt like I was in a box or something but I only ever woke up feeling like it I always fell asleep fine. (very embarrassing to admit this!)


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## alliersv1 (2 February 2014)

Nessa4 said:



			she got a lovely shot of him wearing me as earrings,
		
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What a brilliant description!

The only story I have was from the village I grew up in. VERY horsey, and pretty much everyone knew everyone else, and we all got on just fine.
Enter Mr Quick. Townie moved to the country. Proceeded to join the local council committee pretty much straight away, and then proceeded to moan like a baby about the amount of horse dung on the roads.
He even went so far as to have a letter published in our village magazine (a flimsy A4 photocopied affair about local stuff), complaining about it.
Somehow, and I have no idea how, a tractor bucket of horse dung found its way down to his little cottage opposite the village hall, and onto the bonnet of his car.
I have no idea how it happened, but it DEFINITELY wasn't my yard owner. Oh no.

He never moaned again though. Massively outnumbered


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## Luci07 (2 February 2014)

Really enjoying this thread. I feel I have a foot in both camps as would spend every other weekend as a child in London with my father and later lived in Fulham for 10 years. However always having horses meant my love of the countryside never diminished. I have smart city friends who I gave up taking to the yard as if they got away without covering their car in mud, the numerous dogs would ensure they were well and truly coated with dirty paw prints and equine slobber. I, equally ( and  ok, drunkenly!) spent some 15 minutes wandering the tube station at Bank looking for what is popularly known as "the drain" or Waterloo and City line to you and me. Eventually, one of the station staff took pity on me on me and told me that the line was shut at 10 (or 9.30.. Can't remember which!) so I took a taxi (another good piece of advice, if drinking in the city, black cabs seem to disappear after 8 so it's a good idea to have a taxi app on your phone!)..


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## Greylegs (2 February 2014)

I was once hacking my old boy along a bridle path which ran along the edge of a field. Enter someone walking along towards me with a dog but so totally absorbed with texting on their mobile that they actually ran into my horse before they noticed I was there. I had (I should add) come to a halt and repeatedly called out to them to try to warn them of my presence, but to no avail. Thankfully they saw the funny side ...


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## Shantara (2 February 2014)

Greylegs said:



			I was once hacking my old boy along a bridle path which ran along the edge of a field. Enter someone walking along towards me with a dog but so totally absorbed with texting on their mobile that they actually ran into my horse before they noticed I was there. I had (I should add) come to a halt and repeatedly called out to them to try to warn them of my presence, but to no avail. Thankfully they saw the funny side ...
		
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Oh god! That reminds me of when I nearly ran someone over :O
The field was VERY clearly labelled a bridlepath...it was unmissable, especially with the addition of hoof prints all over the place!
Luckily I had spotted them sitting in the grass on the way there, when I came back, they were gone. Since I had just been on a blast around the next field, I must have only been a minute, not long enough for them to have walked all the way out of the field, so I took it easy. They were laying, stretched across the bridleway, in VERY long grass, listening to music!! They were completely hidden! It's a very busy brideway, so they were lucky! When they spotted me (trying to get the horse past someone laying on the ground!!) I told them it was a bridleway and they moved off.


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## LaMooch (2 February 2014)

Chan said:



			Oh god! That reminds me of when I nearly ran someone over :O
The field was VERY clearly labelled a bridlepath...it was unmissable, especially with the addition of hoof prints all over the place!
Luckily I had spotted them sitting in the grass on the way there, when I came back, they were gone. Since I had just been on a blast around the next field, I must have only been a minute, not long enough for them to have walked all the way out of the field, so I took it easy. They were laying, stretched across the bridleway, in VERY long grass, listening to music!! They were completely hidden! It's a very busy brideway, so they were lucky! When they spotted me (trying to get the horse past someone laying on the ground!!) I told them it was a bridleway and they moved off.
		
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that person lucky it was not more serious.


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## JustMeThen (2 February 2014)

lhotse said:



			The village church that stands on the edge of the Cotswolds, dating in part back to the Norman Conquest, now stands silent because of the townie magistrate who has moved in next door. He didn't like the church bells sounding at 11am to welcome the sunday congregation. Hopefully, the parish council will throw out his complaint soon, and if I was the farmer owning the fields behind his house, I would be putting some pigs there for the next few months!!
		
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Argh things like this make my blood boil - if you don't like the sound of church bells, don't move next door to a church!!


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## EffyCorsten (2 February 2014)

I once had a run in with a horse when out running on a very foggy morning a few years ago. Didn't see each other and managed to stop about a meter apart! Luckily the horse was unfazed and the rider and I found it very funny but thinking back it was dangerous for both of us but the fog descended quickly and hiviz was useless in it!


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## JustMeThen (2 February 2014)

Mad_Cow347 said:



			I was working at my firms london office this week & they were all laughing at one lad who is 18 as he'd asked what animal pork came from, when told to guess he went for cow. It does worry me that people can get to this age and have no idea on these things (particularly when it's what they are eating)... Although I guess at least he knew it was from an animal.
		
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A bloke at work, who's lived in a town, not a bustling metropolis but a Kent town, all his life, said 'can you eat tree apples?' As opposed to what other sort?!


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## Shantara (2 February 2014)

LaMooch said:



			that person lucky it was not more serious.
		
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Very!! They're lucky it was me, because I don't just "go", I often check ahead. Had it been one of the kids that I KNOW blast along there without a care in the world...might have been different!


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## JustMeThen (2 February 2014)

eleanor79 said:



			A bloke at work, who's lived in a town, not a bustling metropolis but a Kent town, all his life, said 'can you eat tree apples?' As opposed to what other sort?!
		
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And another bloke at work once said something about feeding my horse turkey. I thought he was joking and said 'She's so awkward, being a vegetarian', and he said 'Is she? Do horses really not eat meat?'!


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## Capriole (2 February 2014)

eleanor79 said:



			Argh things like this make my blood boil - if you don't like the sound of church bells, don't move next door to a church!!
		
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Mad isn't it.

Tbh, I used to live right opposite Durham Cathedral and I stopped even really  hearing the bells after a while. Visiting friends used to remark on them, especially the Curfew Bell, but it became background noise to me.


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## Mike007 (2 February 2014)

How does anyone "nearly run some one over "on a bridlepath. ???I have always worked on the principle that if I cant control my horse within the distance I can see ,then I am out of control.


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## LaMooch (2 February 2014)

Mike007 said:



			How does anyone "nearly run some one over "on a bridlepath. ???I have always worked on the principle that if I cant control my horse within the distance I can see ,then I am out of control.
		
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the person was laying in the long grass across the bridlepath so from a distance you wouldn't see them. Also Chan did say she walked because she thought someone was there


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## Shantara (2 February 2014)

Mike007 said:



			How does anyone "nearly run some one over "on a bridlepath. ???I have always worked on the principle that if I cant control my horse within the distance I can see ,then I am out of control.
		
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He was totally invisible until you were right on top of him! I walked past him, but I did usually canter/gallop down the stretch (it was lovely and straight). Thankfully the grass was also cut not long after!

ETA - I suppose I should have said "could have" rather than "nearly" as there was no nearly about it


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## Mike007 (2 February 2014)

OK ,in that respect they merely constitute a jump and how many faults you get for hitting them.


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## Shantara (2 February 2014)

Mike007 said:



			OK ,in that respect they merely constitute a jump and how many faults you get for hitting them.
		
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Haha!! That would have given him a shock!


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## Hippona (2 February 2014)

EffyCorsten said:



			HA! I'm so acutely aware of the possibility of looking like an idiot country bumbkin when I shockingly venture into a city so I try so hard to look like I belong. I must stand out like a sore thumb! the hay in the hair probably gives me away also. 
Plus we tend to be easily impressed by city things and I'm sure that's very evident! 

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I went on Jury Service a couple of years ago....which involved traveling by train to Leeds ....Imagine a female Yorkshire version of uncle Bryn from Gavin and Stacey ....that was me....." I couldn't believe it......you can pay BY SWITCH on the train!!!"


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## s4sugar (2 February 2014)

Back in the eighties - the time of disaster movies and killer bee scare I met someone in very inappropriate footwear on the bridleway through my farm.
She was leaning on a gate watching the goats & their kids.
"Oh how sweet you have tiny houses for the baby goats" Err no they are beehives. I didn't think running that fast was possible in 4" stilletos.


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## MrsElle (2 February 2014)

Update on my new neighbour.  He is now complaining bitterly about the bird scarer that is going off 24 hours a day.  I hadn't even heard it until he mentioned it!  He has been hunting for it (I knew where it was but didn't let on ), found it eventually and is now determined to find out who owns the field and get them to turn it off..... He will go ballistic when the combines start later in the year, right next his window.....


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## Spottyappy (2 February 2014)

Love this thread!
We once had people drive into our field as the gate was open because we were expecting a hay delivery.
They got out of the car, and proceeded to have a picnic! 
My husband went over and politely asked them to finish the sandwich, pack up and go. They were shocked as thought it was public land as the gate was open! 
He did ask for their address so we could picnic on their front garden, but they declined!


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## lastchancer (3 February 2014)

MrsElle said:



			Update on my new neighbour.  He is now complaining bitterly about the bird scarer that is going off 24 hours a day.  I hadn't even heard it until he mentioned it!  He has been hunting for it (I knew where it was but didn't let on ), found it eventually and is now determined to find out who owns the field and get them to turn it off..... He will go ballistic when the combines start later in the year, right next his window..... 

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What an absolute moron, tell him to s*d of back to the city.


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## JustMeThen (3 February 2014)

Capriole said:



			Mad isn't it.

Tbh, I used to live right opposite Durham Cathedral and I stopped even really  hearing the bells after a while. Visiting friends used to remark on them, especially the Curfew Bell, but it became background noise to me.
		
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Same here, nearly, I live within 100 yards of a village church which rings every quarter-hour and I never hear it!


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## EventingMum (3 February 2014)

We had a working pupil who gave up eating eggs after watching a hen laying as she didn't realise which part of the hen's  anatomy they came out of, despite trying to explain to her she declared eggs were hen' s poos and said the supermarket should have warnings to let people know so they wouldn't buy them!!

Another day my dad had a lady come onto the yard panicking as a few of our horses were stretched out in the sun sleeping and she thought they must be ill as it was nearly lunchtime and high time they were up!


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## Sleipnir (3 February 2014)

I once had to lead a romantic couple out of a field, where they had set up everything to have a nice picnic with "the nice, black horsey". Truth to be told, they had somehow crawled through a double, wired electric fence and the horsey in question was a breeding stud who does not take kindly to strangers! They were lucky he was on the other side of the field and hadn't noticed them. They still didn't seem to believe me when I explained how dangerous it could have turned out. 

In the same yard, which was also a lesson yard, I once found a mother with three small children who had let themselves inside the stable and were cooing and ahhing by the box stall of an agitated Arab stud. Then, to my utter horror, a tyke crawled outside the box stall, right under the door and by the legs of the stud! Never in my life had I deported somebody so fast from the stable, and the mother was upset to why I wouldn't let them to pet and feed the "pretty pony". 

And now, in a different yard, it's been numerous times already when I have had to herd outside the fencing small groups of unattended children who are just playing around the field, close to the horses! When catching their parents, they are frequently annoyed and get nasty, because they apparently believe I'm being rude for not letting their lovelies play with the horses and that I am exaggerating how dangerous it can be! 

I really cannot understand the reasoning behind letting small children, unhorsey at that, to run unattended among a herd of unpredictable flight animals, many of which are easily over 600kg, and believing that they are something like magical, friendly unicorns from some cartoons, who'd never harm a child...


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## Ladyinred (3 February 2014)

I did feel very sorry for this one. 35 years ago the Jobcentre sent us an Indian lad to help with the harvest, he was lovely and stayed on as a general farm worker. He was a real townie and scared of many things in the countryside, but he was also a great boy and a real worker. After a real bumper harvest we had to move several hundred straw bales to make room for the in-wintering bullocks; he came and told me there were lots of 'animals' in the bales. I had a look and there was a healthy rat population so I gave him my dog to kill them off. Much later he came back to the house, hot and bothered and as close as he ever got to being cross. He hadn't understood that the dog was meant to kill the rats and he had been trying to get them from her before she shook them! Quite what he was going to do with them was never clear..


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## shadeofshyness (3 February 2014)

eleanor79 said:



			Same here, nearly, I live within 100 yards of a village church which rings every quarter-hour and I never hear it!
		
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Me and my other half lived near a church with 15min bells. We both got ill from not sleeping because they kept us awake all night especially if we had to be up early - you'd just lie there knowing that the next one coming would be 4am ugh. We lasted a year then moved. It still haunts me to this day! Dreadful things. Anyone who manages to block them out deserves a medal!


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