# A very, very hard post to write.



## Michen (13 February 2017)

I can't quite believe I am writing another thread like this less than two years after loosing Torres, a horse I very much still cry for. I know a lot of you have seen things on facebook but here is what happened. Maybe it will help to write it all down. 

Just over a week ago Basil got a kick to the leg above the knee, it was very swollen and the vet immediately called. The swelling went down by Wednesday and he was sound in walk and trot but the area was a little warm so he was rested regardless. On Saturday afternoon I got the random call that he was colicing. B has a large hernia from a abdominal surgery that he had three/four years ago where he ate some wire and got severe peritonitis. He has never, ever coliced since and nor has it presented him with any problems. The vet came out and found he was very gassy, within half an hour he had gone from looking horrendous to back to his normal bouncy self. She did however check the leg and find some lumps that she wasn't sure was soft tissue but she was relatively unconcerned though we decided we would x ray on Monday. 

He remained fine (on starvation) all night. He did a big poo in the morning. I bought him copious bottles of ice tea to get him drinking (he loves it). I sat outside his stable and hand fed him soaked hay, small mouthful at a time to trickle feed him. He seemed great, chirpy and his usual self until late morning where he went downhill again. Vet back who this time found a slight impaction. He went straight on the lorry and to the nearest vet hospital. 

I can't even begin to describe what was a hellish afternoon. Basil is not insured for anything colic related because of his previous surgery but the vet felt we were a while off needing think about that. They x rayed the leg to make sure that, to the bets of our knowledge, there was no fracture and it was clean. He was lunged, he got worse and on re scan it was a clear cut case of put him down or try the surgery. I always said I would never put a horse through colic surgery, I've read the horror stories. I've seen the statistics about re colic. I know how painful it is for them. But I have to say that in that moment there was just no way I could put that horse down without trying, regardless of cost. 

He went in, they found the twist. She warned me it would be not easy post op given his hernia and adhesions from the previous surgery. But that the surgery went as well as it possibly could have for what was a serious colic and his bowel was in good nick as we got in there quickly. I was so relieved he made it through the surgery, I was fully expecting a call to say they couldn't even fix him. But he did make it and they did fix him. 

The vet called me an hour later whilst I was waiting for confirmation he had stood up ok from the anaesthetic to ask for permission to put him to sleep, his leg had shattered as he got up. 

I cannot even begin to put into words how I currently feel. I knew there was a small risk that there was a hairline fracture there that wasn't showing on x ray yet but it seemed so small, so unlikely that he could be so unlucky. I feel completely wrecked with guilt that he woke up confused, in pain and for his leg to be the thing that got him. Dying in hospital with no familiar faces and a broken leg. I questioned the decision to put him through surgery every second, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if in reality if I thought there was even a slim chance that pony could be saved. 

I loved Torres, I am so glad he came to me and I'm so happy I had even a short amount of time with him. He was adored and I still feel desperately sad that he couldn't be fixed. 

But Basil was just my best mate, my absolute partner in crime. He made life so endlessly fun and in 15 years of horses I have never met one with such a humorous and beautiful personality. We read each other like clock work, you never really felt like you were "riding" Basil, merely a passenger on one of his adventures or ideas. He reduced me to tears after many a cross country because of his honesty and trust. He had such an incredible joy for life given he had already had a very tough past medically, it was truly amazing to see him blossom. 

The majority of the decisions about life that I have made in the last year have been around Basil. He was the biggest, best part of my life and that is always a precarious position to be in with an animal so fragile. I have loved every second with him. I loved the horsey life he gave me and I was immensely looking forward to our first "proper" season British Eventing but mostly I just loved him being around and would have been grateful for him just being an oversized pet dog. 

Losing Torres was incredibly hard but losing Basil is not something I think I will ever get over and it's left me wondering exactly how life can be so cruel. For now I will close this horsey chapter of my life, maybe one day I will feel differently. 


There is so much more I want to be able to say about my wonderful boy but for now I just have no more words. Xxx


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## Sheep (13 February 2017)

Oh my god, I am so, so sorry to read this. Both your boys have been so special and it has been a privilege to follow their journeys. I am absolutely gutted for you. Nothing any of us can say will make you feel any better, but you are genuinely in my thoughts and I send you the biggest hugs. Your love for both boys shines so brightly and I too am in shock at the sad outcome for your beautiful B. Please take good care of yourself xxx


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## buddylove (13 February 2017)

Heart breaking, I am so so sorry for your loss. He was very clearly loved and adored, and you did everything you could x


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## wispagold (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read this. Basil sounds like a fantastic horse and I think you were extremely lucky to have had the opportunity to spend the time with him that you did. Thinking of you xx


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## Vodkagirly (13 February 2017)

So sad to read this. Had enjoyed seeing your stories of having fun at last. Very hard for you.  x


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## blitznbobs (13 February 2017)

No words - so very sad . Hugs xx


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## Ahrena (13 February 2017)

Can you stop making me cry please &#128542;&#128542;&#128148;&#128148; xxxx


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## The Fuzzy Furry (13 February 2017)

Michen, am so so sorry to read this, Torres and now Basil, am sending you hugs, treasure those memories xxx


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## be positive (13 February 2017)

Not the news I was hoping for this morning, you did all you could for Basil, life is cruel sometimes try and remember the good times you had and take care of yourself, 
RIP B you can go hunting staying at the front forever, xxx


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## Sussexbythesea (13 February 2017)

So very sorry Michen, absolutely heartbreaking  xx


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## luckyoldme (13 February 2017)

What a terrible turn of events, so sorry for your loss xx


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## Ormsweird (13 February 2017)

So sorry Michen, he sounded wonderful. Hugs.

xXx


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## Amymay (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, I'm broken hearted for you. I'm so, So sorry xxxx


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## Bernster (13 February 2017)

Oh, what an awful thing to happen. He sounds like the most amazing horse. I've loved reading about your adventures with him. What a horrid freak thing to happen, and a terrible tragic sequence of events.  So sorry xx


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## texas (13 February 2017)

I'm so sorry to read this Michen, crying for you here. I can feel your love and heartbreak for the boys in your words.  Take care of yourself.


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## Fidgety (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry Michen. xx


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## D66 (13 February 2017)

A truely horrible thing to be going through for you. Life will get better.  (((Hugs))) , and sympathy.


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## Goldenstar (13 February 2017)

That's just terrible news.
He sounds like the most lovely horse .
Huge hug from here .


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## meesha (13 February 2017)

Michen, how utterly heartbreaking X you gave Basil every chance you could, don't feel guilty for that, so so sorry for your loss ((hugs))


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## Reacher (13 February 2017)

Michen, am so, so sorry. Virtual hugs x


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## Archangel (13 February 2017)

Absolutely heart-breaking.


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## Greylegs (13 February 2017)

Couldn't read and run. I so very sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. <<hugs>>.


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## LadyGascoyne (13 February 2017)

Oh no! Michen! I am so so sorry. What awful news, this is so unfair. 

I'm sending all my thoughts and love your way.


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## Equi (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry to read this Michen.


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## Doormouse (13 February 2017)

I am so very sorry Michen, what an utterly devastating thing to happen. Be kind to yourself, you gave him a wonderful time and every chance to get better. You were both just terribly unlucky.


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## Tiddlypom (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry, this is heartbreaking news. I loved reading about your exploits with Basil, you had such a good partnership with him. You did everything you could for him.

Life is so very unfair sometimes. Many hugs xx.


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## Dazed'n'confused (13 February 2017)

So, so sorry for you....
Sending a virtual hug


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## LeannePip (13 February 2017)

I am absolutely heartbroken for you.

You and Basil were not far from my thoughts yesterday, so it was devastating to hear of the outcome. 

Thinking of you at this really hard time x


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## Cragrat (13 February 2017)

Horrendous news&#9785;&#65039;&#65039;  Why does it happen to the best horses, and the best carers? 

But you were lucky to have each other for the time you did. You enriched each other's lives. Treasure the memories.


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## Pedantic (13 February 2017)

You did your utmost best for your best friend, that's all anyone can do, remember the good times, he was lucky to have such a loving caring owner xxx


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## Hannahgb (13 February 2017)

I am so incredibly sorry, he sounded such an amazing boy xx


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## Wheels (13 February 2017)

Oh my god, horrendous!

So so sorry for your loss


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## FfionWinnie (13 February 2017)

What a grand time he had with you and what deep sadness we are all feeling to read this awful news. Words are so inadequate.


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## StarcatcherWilliam (13 February 2017)

I'm so sorry to read this sad thread. What a beautiful boy he was. Don't feel guilty, you did what you could to save him and he'd appreciate that. Sounds like you gave him a lovely life. I'm sat here in tears for you. Sending you massive hugs xxx


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## Nudibranch (13 February 2017)

Good grief, how incredibly sad. So sorry to hear this.


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## wren123 (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, so so sorry x


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## Cortez (13 February 2017)

Oh you poor thing, such very bad luck. But you know, you did your best for him, you tried as hard as you could and that is all you can do. Life, for all living things, is finite.


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## tatty_v (13 February 2017)

I'm so terribly sorry for you xx


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## limestonelil (13 February 2017)

Such a sad post Michen sending you a virtual hug. You did your absolute best for both of them. So sad


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## alainax (13 February 2017)

You poor soul, so very sad. Don't blame yourself for putting him through it, you were trying to give him a chance. You were dealt a horrible hand, no matter which choice you chose the outcome was going to be the same.


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## DabDab (13 February 2017)

That was heartbreaking to read, you poor poor thing, I'm so sorry X


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## Micropony (13 February 2017)

You did your very best for him, nobody could have done more. You have been so unlucky you poor girl. So very sorry x


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## Hoof_Prints (13 February 2017)

Heartbreaking news  you did your best by him, it's hard to find the words, so sorry xx


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## southerncomfort (13 February 2017)

Oh this is dreadful news.  I'm so very sorry for you.  You must be absolutely heartbroken.

xx


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## Pinkvboots (13 February 2017)

I am so so sorry you did all you could for him x


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## alwaysbroke (13 February 2017)

How absolutely horrible for you, so so sorry to read this x


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## milliepops (13 February 2017)

alainax said:



			You poor soul, so very sad. Don't blame yourself for putting him through it, you were trying to give him a chance. You were dealt a horrible hand, no matter which choice you chose the outcome was going to be the same.
		
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This 

Another who was thinking of you yesterday and desperately hoping for better news.  There's nothing to feel guilty about, you will come to realise this , though I understand when everything is so raw you will rake over every decision trying to make sense of it. But there IS no sense, you did what all of us would have done faced with those choices, but cruel fate swept him away from you.  So, so sorry xxx


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## Pink_Lady (13 February 2017)

I couldn't read and run ... sending you heartfelt condolences


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## rara007 (13 February 2017)

Just awful  I'm sorry


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## Clodagh (13 February 2017)

I am so incredibly sorry.


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## Lindylouanne (13 February 2017)

Michen I am so sorry for your loss RIP Basil xx


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## scats (13 February 2017)

My heart is breaking for you, I am so terribly sorry that this happened.  You were put in a very difficult situation and you did what you felt was right for him.  

Can't think of anything else to say other than to send you the biggest hug ever x


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## Tyssandi (13 February 2017)

Michen said:



			I can't quite believe I am writing another thread like this less than two years after loosing Torres, a horse I very much still cry for. I know a lot of you have seen things on facebook but here is what happened. Maybe it will help to write it all down. 

Just over a week ago Basil got a kick to the leg above the knee, it was very swollen and the vet immediately called. The swelling went down by Wednesday and he was sound in walk and trot but the area was a little warm so he was rested regardless. On Saturday afternoon I got the random call that he was colicing. B has a large hernia from a abdominal surgery that he had three/four years ago where he ate some wire and got severe peritonitis. He has never, ever coliced since and nor has it presented him with any problems. The vet came out and found he was very gassy, within half an hour he had gone from looking horrendous to back to his normal bouncy self. She did however check the leg and find some lumps that she wasn't sure was soft tissue but she was relatively unconcerned though we decided we would x ray on Monday. 

He remained fine (on starvation) all night. He did a big poo in the morning. I bought him copious bottles of ice tea to get him drinking (he loves it). I sat outside his stable and hand fed him soaked hay, small mouthful at a time to trickle feed him. He seemed great, chirpy and his usual self until late morning where he went downhill again. Vet back who this time found a slight impaction. He went straight on the lorry and to the nearest vet hospital. 

I can't even begin to describe what was a hellish afternoon. Basil is not insured for anything colic related because of his previous surgery but the vet felt we were a while off needing think about that. They x rayed the leg to make sure that, to the bets of our knowledge, there was no fracture and it was clean. He was lunged, he got worse and on re scan it was a clear cut case of put him down or try the surgery. I always said I would never put a horse through colic surgery, I've read the horror stories. I've seen the statistics about re colic. I know how painful it is for them. But I have to say that in that moment there was just no way I could put that horse down without trying, regardless of cost. 

He went in, they found the twist. She warned me it would be not easy post op given his hernia and adhesions from the previous surgery. But that the surgery went as well as it possibly could have for what was a serious colic and his bowel was in good nick as we got in there quickly. I was so relieved he made it through the surgery, I was fully expecting a call to say they couldn't even fix him. But he did make it and they did fix him. 

The vet called me an hour later whilst I was waiting for confirmation he had stood up ok from the anaesthetic to ask for permission to put him to sleep, his leg had shattered as he got up. 

I cannot even begin to put into words how I currently feel. I knew there was a small risk that there was a hairline fracture there that wasn't showing on x ray yet but it seemed so small, so unlikely that he could be so unlucky. I feel completely wrecked with guilt that he woke up confused, in pain and for his leg to be the thing that got him. Dying in hospital with no familiar faces and a broken leg. I questioned the decision to put him through surgery every second, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if in reality if I thought there was even a slim chance that pony could be saved. 

I loved Torres, I am so glad he came to me and I'm so happy I had even a short amount of time with him. He was adored and I still feel desperately sad that he couldn't be fixed. 

But Basil was just my best mate, my absolute partner in crime. He made life so endlessly fun and in 15 years of horses I have never met one with such a humorous and beautiful personality. We read each other like clock work, you never really felt like you were "riding" Basil, merely a passenger on one of his adventures or ideas. He reduced me to tears after many a cross country because of his honesty and trust. He had such an incredible joy for life given he had already had a very tough past medically, it was truly amazing to see him blossom. 

The majority of the decisions about life that I have made in the last year have been around Basil. He was the biggest, best part of my life and that is always a precarious position to be in with an animal so fragile. I have loved every second with him. I loved the horsey life he gave me and I was immensely looking forward to our first "proper" season British Eventing but mostly I just loved him being around and would have been grateful for him just being an oversized pet dog. 

Losing Torres was incredibly hard but losing Basil is not something I think I will ever get over and it's left me wondering exactly how life can be so cruel. For now I will close this horsey chapter of my life, maybe one day I will feel differently. 


There is so much more I want to be able to say about my wonderful boy but for now I just have no more words. Xxx

















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Oh Michen I don't know where to begin to say how deeply sad I feel for you. (having lost many animals within a short time+ my dad in 4 years)


No words to say except  wishing you support to help you through this tragic time. xx


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## GoldenWillow (13 February 2017)

I am so, so sorry, that is heart breaking x


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## Michen (13 February 2017)

Thank you everyone. Still in shock but I did just manage to speak to his vet properly since last night. She said the stress fracture would only have been diagnosable by bone scan and even then they had an ex racer last week that scanned clean but the fracture gave way. That the immediate treatment would have been to be cross tied in a box for two months (he would never have coped with being cross tied) and that the likelihood is that as he was sound I would have bought him back into work and that the leg would have given way mid gallop or something horrendous. He was immediately re anesthetised when it broke, whilst they assessed and called me so j take a little comfort in knowing he was not in any pain whilst they had to make the call. Xxx


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## Lanky Loll (13 February 2017)

So so sorry, RIP Basil xx


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## Lintel (13 February 2017)

I'm so sorry. 
My thoughts are with you.


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## Pippity (13 February 2017)

I'm so sorry, Michen. He was such an amazing little horse.


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## Dynamo (13 February 2017)

How utterly and completely heartbreaking for you.    Horses, for all their strength and power, can be incredibly fragile creatures.  Take things easy and be kind to yourself and  I hope that a few words from H&HO are some small comfort.  Remember that there are kind, like-minded people here for you at all times.


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## MissTyc (13 February 2017)

That is so terribly terribly sad. A complete nightmare and it must be unreal to you ... I hope you have people around you to support you through this unexpected and devastating loss xx


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## Christmas Crumpet (13 February 2017)

I am so, so sorry to hear this - you have had the most rotten luck. I hope you can take some comfort in that he was in no pain and that you did everything you could for him.


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## Annagain (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, what a horrible few years you've had. Basil was so lucky to have had someone who tried so hard to save him. There are no words that will make you feel better but know that we're all here for you and so sad that you've lost him just as youwere getting going. Remember those good times - those XC rounds that made you so happy. I hope writing it all down helped.


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## milliepops (13 February 2017)

Michen said:



			Thank you everyone. Still in shock but I did just manage to speak to his vet properly since last night. She said the stress fracture would only have been diagnosable by bone scan and even then they had an ex racer last week that scanned clean but the fracture gave way. That the immediate treatment would have been to be cross tied in a box for two months (he would never have coped with being cross tied) and that the likelihood is that as he was sound I would have bought him back into work and that the leg would have given way mid gallop or something horrendous. He was immediately re anesthetised when it broke, whilst they assessed and called me so j take a little comfort in knowing he was not in any pain whilst they had to make the call. Xxx
		
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It won't be any easier for you now, but then in time you will be able to take some tiny comfort from knowing he was spared that. You've been through something horrible, but he won't have known any of this.


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## Asha (13 February 2017)

So very sorry for you Michen, there are no words that can help I'm sure. But do take comfort in that you did everything possible for your gorgeous boy x


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## skint1 (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, I can't tell you how sorry I am to read your post, Basil was such a gift to you after all that you went through with Torres.  Take care of yourself, RIP Basil x


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## Bertie_Boo (13 February 2017)

You poor thing, I'm so sorry.  Thinking of you.


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## Charlie007 (13 February 2017)

I just cannot find the words at the moment. Thinking of you xxx


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## Auslander (13 February 2017)

Oh G - I'm so sorry. What a rotten thing to happen. It's just so horribly unfair, after all you've been through in the last few years.


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## Sukistokes2 (13 February 2017)

This is horrible news. I am really sorry for you loss, such a handsome lad!


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## BlackVelvet (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry to read this post, I read your post the other day regarding his kick and it all sounded so positive.

Horses are so delicate sometimes and they go so quickly 

My thoughts are with you at this really sad time xx


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## chaps89 (13 February 2017)

Adding my condolences and thinking of you, what a horrible thing to have happened, but you did everything you could for him.


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## ljohnsonsj (13 February 2017)

So sorry for you, but what a lucky horse to have you in his life for so long xx


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## Janovich (13 February 2017)

I read this post and couldn't not respond.  My thoughts and hugs for as long as you need them are with you now.
As all the other posters have said, that utterly bloody heartbraking outcome post surgery was such a tragic blow, my heart goes out to you Michen.... love to you.

Words of comfort are so hard to type in these very very sad circumstances.  I too would have gone for the surgery option if i'd have been in your shoes...what happened after the surgery was sooo hard to read... I'm so so sorry Michen..xx


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## Meredith (13 February 2017)

Love and hugs Michen. xx


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## silv (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read this, what rotten luck you and your horses have had, take care.


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## ester (13 February 2017)

I am so gutted for your both Michen, I always felt like I knew basil despite having never met either of you properly. Neither of you deserved that. Take heart in the amazing time he has had with you as his owner reiterated to you the other week compared to what he would have been doing at 'home', he's had an absolute ball.


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## chillipup (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry to hear your dreadful news Michen, my thoughts are with you.


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## ElleSkywalker (13 February 2017)

Am so so so sorry for you, just awful you poor poor thing. You tried your very best for him and Torres and both boys were very lucky to have you. Big hugs, wish there was something I could say or do to help xxxxx


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## SEL (13 February 2017)

That's awful - I feel so, so sorry for you. If you hadn't tried the colic surgery then I think you would always have wondered and the leg going is just terrible bad luck. Remember the horse had a wonderful life with you and try to focus on the good times. Thoughts with you, and as many virtual hugs as I can give right now xxxxx


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## swilliam (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry to read this. You obviously had such fun together, and I'm sure he loved it as much as you did. He couldn't have had a better time or better ownerxx


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## Sprout (13 February 2017)

I am so very sorry to read your post, such a devastating tragic situation, my heart goes out to you. Xx


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## HeresHoping (13 February 2017)

So, so sorry, Michen.


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## crabbymare (13 February 2017)

I am so very sorry  you did all you could for him and although it will be no help to you right now. in a way it is better that if his leg was going to give way it did so when he was being monitored and was able to be anaesthatised immediately rather than when you were riding or when he was in  the field or stable with nobody immediately there to help him. you did all you could for him


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## Mariposa (13 February 2017)

I am so so sorry for your loss. You did all your could for him, what a lucky horse to be so loved and so cherished, RIP to your boy. xx


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## Mrs B (13 February 2017)

Oh no!!  I'm so sorry to read that, Michen ... just awful for you. Run with Torres, gorgeous Basil. Lucky, lucky boys to have you as an owner, who did everything she could.

Thinking of you x


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## cblover (13 February 2017)

RIP beautiful Basil. Life is so unfair sometimes but please take care. Don't be too hard on yourself...you sound like a wonderful owner who did her best. In time you will have the best memories to look back on and you'll feel happy to do so. x


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## Michen (13 February 2017)

crabbymare said:



			I am so very sorry  you did all you could for him and although it will be no help to you right now. in a way it is better that if his leg was going to give way it did so when he was being monitored and was able to be anaesthatised immediately rather than when you were riding or when he was in  the field or stable with nobody immediately there to help him. you did all you could for him 

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I completely agree. If he hadn't have coliced I would have bought him back into work and it could have gone at any point. This is hard enough but if it had broken from under me I never would have recovered from seeing that. X


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## Bright_Spark (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss. You did everything you could for your boy. 

Take care of your self and cherish the memories.


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## TheSylv007 (13 February 2017)

Oh god that's awful, so sorry for your loss.  Thinking of you.


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## 3OldPonies (13 February 2017)

So very, very sorry to have read such a heart rending story.  Big hugs and look after yourself.


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## Spottyappy (13 February 2017)

Am so so sorry to read this.
No words will really help you right now, but obviously you know people here understand what you're going through. 
Not sure why, either, but t seems the good people of the world always get the crap, I'm so sorry it's hit you again.
Thinking of you at this sad and very difficult time.


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## Wimbles (13 February 2017)

Life is sometimes just too cruel.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  

Please look after yourself x


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## BarneyTheChestnutOne (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read this Michen, it's so heartbreaking, and I truly know how you feel you feel after losing my mare of a lifetime at the start of December to colic. She survived the surgery, but colicked again when they reintroduced food afterwards. I will be thinking of you lots at this very sad time RIP Basil xxxxxxxxxxx


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## DirectorFury (13 February 2017)

I'm so so sorry Michen. RIP Basil. Look after yourself xxx


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## AdorableAlice (13 February 2017)

My thoughts are with you, I too lost one after surgery and the pain remains with me.  I am so so sorry for you.


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## Michen (13 February 2017)

BarneyTheChestnutOne said:



			So sorry to read this Michen, it's so heartbreaking, and I truly know how you feel you feel after losing my mare of a lifetime at the start of December to colic. She survived the surgery, but colicked again when they reintroduced food afterwards. I will be thinking of you lots at this very sad time RIP Basil xxxxxxxxxxx
		
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I am so sorry  how are you doing now? I don't honestly know how to even begin to get over this or ever look at a horse again


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## oldie48 (13 February 2017)

I am just so sorry, I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I am thinking of you and sending hugs.


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## Regandal (13 February 2017)

Oh no, that's awful. Heartfelt sympathy. X


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## Orangehorse (13 February 2017)

That is so, so sad, just heartbreaking.  Big hugs.


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## eahotson (13 February 2017)

So very very sorry.I hope ,in time,that your happy memories with him bring some comfort.


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## JFTDWS (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry to read this.  It's awful, and you have my deepest sympathies.


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## Red-1 (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry to hear about Basil, and it must be very hard for it to be so sudden and unexpected. X


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## JennBags (13 February 2017)

Oh my god Michen, I am so so very sorry, what a heartbreaking and devastating thing to go through.  Much love to you at this desperately sad time xxxxx


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## Caramac71 (13 February 2017)

I'm so sorry.  In the relatively short time I've been a member of this forum you have had such a run of bad luck and heartbreak.  It's so unfair, bad things always seem to happen to the ones that care the most  xx


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## twiggy2 (13 February 2017)

So sorry to hear you news, hugs coming your way, not much else I can offer but thinking of you.


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## Sam_J (13 February 2017)

So very sorry to read this, how absolutely heartbreaking.  You have all my sympathy.


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## BarneyTheChestnutOne (13 February 2017)

Michen said:



			I am so sorry  how are you doing now? I don't honestly know how to even begin to get over this or ever look at a horse again
		
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I am getting there, I couldn't function at all for a while, but my other horse kept me going as I think I would have completely given up on horses otherwise. I still cry sometimes. Mia was mine and my sister's perfect forever horse, and whilst we could never replace her, this week we have just bought a new horse for my sister to focus on. Our other horse is semi-retired and not up to doing enough work for both of us to ride, and in all honestly we have missed being able to hack out and ride together and be on the yard chatting whilst grooming the horses together. It's been a strange few days since our new one got here with lots of mixed emotions but I think that it was the right time for us.

Sending you lots of hugs from here, if there's anything I can do please message me xxxxxx


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## horselady (13 February 2017)

I am so, so, so, sorry, that must be absolutly heart breaking. Looking at the pictures you have had fantastic times together. Just think of them. It must be unbelievably hard for you. Thinking of you xxxx


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## Slightlyconfused (13 February 2017)

Oh my goodness I am so so sorry. 
I have no words just my love and hugs coming your way
 Xxx


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## View (13 February 2017)

Oh how terribly sad.  I am so, so sorry that you have been through this.

You gave him so much love and fun: he will always live on in your memories of the good times.

Hugs.


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## Nicnac (13 February 2017)

No words.  You did your very best. So so sorry.


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## Haniki (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read this. What an awful time for you.
R.I.P. Basil


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## Pie's mum (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen. My heart broke for you and Basil reading your post. I am so so sorry. Thinking of you xx


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## Equine_Dream (13 February 2017)

Oh michen I'm sat at my desk with my eyes welling up with tears. My heart is just breaking for you!  life can be so cruel.
Please do not feel guilty for the choice you made. You did what you thought was best and nobody could have foreseen what happened. You did everything you could and gave him a chance. It just wasnt to be. 
Please take comfort in the fact you gave him a wonderful life with you and like torres, he was so lucky to have found you. 
Treasure those happy memories you made together. 
R.I.P Basil. Sleep tight beautiful boy.


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## Bubblewrap (13 February 2017)

So sorry for you, absolutely heartbreaking x


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## Roasted Chestnuts (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read what a tragic series of events, heart goes out to you x


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## cremedemonthe (13 February 2017)

So sorry for your sad loss, Oz


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## Dave's Mam (13 February 2017)

So sorry.  He was beautiful.  Thinking of you, take care of yourself.


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## Clare85 (13 February 2017)

I'm so so sorry to read this. Take care of yourself and take the time to grieve. 

Rest peacefully Basil xxx


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## OWLIE185 (13 February 2017)

So very sorry  to hear of your sad and tragic news.


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## WelshD (13 February 2017)

That's just devastating I am so very very sorry


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## Shady (13 February 2017)

I am so,so sorry Michen , i feel unbelievably sad reading this and i am glad nobody is here to see me wiping tears off my face, my heart really does go out to you, RIP beautiful Basil, i hope he has already found Torres and that they are running free together. xxxxxxxxx


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## LHIS (13 February 2017)

very sorry for your loss, what a beautiful horse. xxx


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## irishdraft (13 February 2017)

Absolutely heartbreaking for you yes I agree life is too cruel sometimes rip basil


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## atropa (13 February 2017)

So sorry to read this Michen, I've followed your posts since Torres, through crazy mare and was so happy for you when you found Basil. Life is really so very, very unfair to the people who least deserve it. I hope in time you can heal enough to have horses as part of your life. Take care of yourself.


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## RubysGold (13 February 2017)

I am so so sorry 
What an awful time you had. Don't feel guilty,  you did the absolute best you could to give him a chance. Im so sorry you lost him that way :-( 
I can't begin to imagine how you feel xxx


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## horselover2 (13 February 2017)

Hi i dont post on here very much,but do like to read the threads when i get time ,but i just read your post and had to say something.,i really feel for you and my heart goes out to you as you obviously love your horses very much,just wanted to say how sorry i was to hear what happened to Basil,he sounded lovely and you did everything you could have done,xx


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## JJS (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry for your loss - my heart really does go out to you. Sending you a thousand virtual hugs to help you through this horrible time


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## DJ (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart absolutely breaks for you. Right now there is nothing anyone can say, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. You literally take life minute by minute and hour by hour. You`re grieving, and that takes on so many different forms. Some can`t even begin to look at another horse, where others will start looking straight away as they feel they can`t breathe with out a horse in their lives. Both of these are ok, both of these are normal reactions. 

You don`t ever get over these types of losses, time helps you to come to terms with it, time helps make things a little less raw, but it`s always there, how much you miss them. 

I know many have said it, you most certainly made the right call, and you did all you could (and more) to give him a fighting chance. He was so very lucky to be owned by you. Fate deals us these blows, these cruel twists which leave us in almost unbearable pain, but it sounds to me it all happened in the "best" way it could, the colic ensured he was at the vets, and in the "right" place to be looked after at that god awful crucial moment. Not that this makes it easier in any way, I know it doesn`t, not even a tiny bit, but he was loved, and I promise you he will have known that.

Hugs to you, be kind to yourself, and above all else give yourself the same patience you`d have given him, you are among a vast sea of people here who know exactly how you are feeling x


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## Merrymoles (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen - only just seen this and am so sorry to hear such awful news.
My thoughts and hugs are with you.


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## vmac66 (13 February 2017)

So very very sorry. My heart goes out to you. RIP Basil xx


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## Flame_ (13 February 2017)

Really sorry to hear this. That is just about as unlucky as can be. So sorry for you, OP.


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## Meowy Catkin (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry, this is just utterly heartbreaking for you. RIP Basil. 

You are completely right, horses can be unbelievably fragile for such big, strong animals.


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## HanniRT (13 February 2017)

So sorry to hear this. Take care and RIP Basil.


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## smja (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, I'm so sorry.


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## touchstone (13 February 2017)

I hope your heart heals in time, losing horses is the pits.


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## Haphazardhacker (13 February 2017)

I just wanted to say how very sorry I am to hear this, cannot imagine what you are going through. Sending a virtual hug.


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## LaurenBay (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry. I have never cried reading a post on this forum.  But I did at this, it's very clear to see how much he meant to you. So sorry xx


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## PorkChop (13 February 2017)

I am so, so sorry this has happened, just utterly tragic, nothing else to say apart from I am sending you a huge hug x


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## j1ffy (13 February 2017)

Heartbreaking - there are really no words. RIP Basil xxx


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## On the Hoof (13 February 2017)

Oh I am absolutely gutted for you and Basil. What heart breaking events .. Just sending you a huge hug x


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## Adopter (13 February 2017)

Sending hugs, your tribute to Basil is very moving, he was lucky to be so loved, I hope your happier memories bring you comfort over time.


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## wyrdsister (13 February 2017)

Oh Michen, I am so sorry to hear this. There're no words that can make this better. I lost two in quick succession a year ago, one my absolute horse of a lifetime, the other one I was desperately protective of, and it's world-shattering. If I hadn't had another already in my life, I would have walked away too; it's not somewhat ever really get over. But, for what it's worth, you and your amazing boys will be missed here too. I hope you can find some peace and, perhaps one day, the strength to return to horses. The horsey world needs more owners like you in it x


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## rachk89 (13 February 2017)

Really sorry to hear this.  You gave him a great life and you have many amazing memories to cherish of him.


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## mytwofriends (13 February 2017)

How very sad. Take care. &#128546;


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## Jericho (13 February 2017)

I am at a total loss as to what to say other than I am so so sorry. What a terrible thing for you all to have to go through. RIP sweet Basil xx


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## Fools Motto (13 February 2017)

A small part of me knows what you are feeling, what you are going through and the challenges mentally you will try to 'break' through, but in reality I can't imagine how you must feel. So heart breaking. What a loved horse he was, and in time I hope you can cherish the memories with happiness.
So sorry. Thoughts are with you at this awful time. x


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## {97702} (13 February 2017)

I am so, so sorry to read this....what a horrible experience for you to have to go through, RIP Basil...... thinking of you xx


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## EventingMum (13 February 2017)

So so sorry for you, this sort of thing makes me wonder why we have horses although I know we still will have them. Please don't question your decision to have the surgery, you made it for all the right reasons and could not have foreseen the outcome. You can never know whither you made a good decision, I elected to have one pts rather than undergo surgery and although the pm showed he would have had a very slim chance of a good recovery I still question the decision I made. Basil was obviously a very special horse and was lucky to have so much time with you xx


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## wills_91 (13 February 2017)

It is very clear from the post how much he meant to you. Please do not feel guilty about the decision you made for him. So sorry for your loss. Take care x


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## FestiveFuzz (13 February 2017)

Michen, I don't know what to say, I'm crying just reading your post as your love for Basil shines through in your OP. Sending you huge hugs xxx


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## rextherobber (13 February 2017)

So very sorry x


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## Surreydeb (13 February 2017)

So very very sorry for your loss xx


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## Remi'sMum (13 February 2017)

There are no words.... My heart breaks for you Michen, after everything you've been through. Tears being shed here too for you and Basil.  xxx


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## Bluedaisys (13 February 2017)

So sorry for your loss


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## cally23 (13 February 2017)

So sorry for your loss


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## Andalucian (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry, this is very unlucky for you and Basil.


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## LeneHorse (13 February 2017)

this is so sad, you must be devastated. RIP Basil.


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## scoobdog (13 February 2017)

So very sorry for your loss &#128546; x


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## deicinmerlyn (13 February 2017)

So sorry to hear this, so terrribly sad for you x


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## tashcat (13 February 2017)

Crying as I read through your post, what a touching tribute to your lovely boy. It is incredibly clear how well loved he was and I am so so sorry for you.

I lost my boy at the beginning of December and the biggest piece of advice I can give is to let it out and cry when you need to. Some one told me it is a funny back handed compliment to your boy. But he won't want you to be sad forever, so remember everything that made him such a special part of your life, not how it ended. 

Sending you lots of hugs xx


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## Cinnamontoast (13 February 2017)

Dear god, you poor girl, that's a horribly sad and unlucky thing to happen. You did the best for him, this was a terrible accident.


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## SO1 (13 February 2017)

This is incredibly sad and so unlucky. You must be devastated. I expect nothing anyone can say can make you feel better at the moment. I hope you have some good friends around you who can help you get through this.


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## pixie27 (13 February 2017)

So heartbroken for you Michen. After everything with Torres and the mare, I was so pleased to read of all the fun and success you had with Basil. It sounds like you did everything for him, and gave him a hugely fun life while you were together. Thinking of you xxx


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## sky1000 (13 February 2017)

This is horrible.  Of course you are devastated.  You must take your time.  But be assured that you did all you could - that's all any of us can do.


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## Puzzled (13 February 2017)

So very, very sorry to hear this. What a wonderful owner you are I know how much Basil would have loved you. Sending you lots of hugs x x


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## sallyg (13 February 2017)

OMG, that is heart-breaking, so sorry for your loss


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## Pilatesclare (13 February 2017)

So sorry for your loss x


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## Elsbells (13 February 2017)

No words, just tears xxxx


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## Pearlsasinger (13 February 2017)

I am so sorry, you made the best decision that you could with the information that you had at the time.
It is always hard to lose a horse and when it is in an emergency situation, the shock compounds the grief, ime.


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## lewis2015 (13 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry. How incredibly sad Xxx


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## debsflo (13 February 2017)

I'm so sad to hear this. Life can seem so unfair sometimes. Xx


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## ozpoz (13 February 2017)

oh Michen how devastating. I am so,so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy.
I feel actual relief that it didn't happen at home and he had pain relief immediately, for your sake.
He must have been so happy to share a partnership with you.
Xx


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## Peregrine Falcon (14 February 2017)

Words are failing me at the moment.  After what you went through with Torres you deserved buckets loads of happiness.  So sorry that Basil has left you in body.  His spirit and memories will remain with you.  Sending HUGS. XXX


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## Dizzydancer (14 February 2017)

I'm so very sorry michen, I lost my mare a fortnight ago it's the most cruelest thing in the world, I tried so hard to fix her but it just never worked. 
I know that empty feeling you have at the moment, but take comfort in you did everything for him and he had a wonderful life with you xx


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## Michen (14 February 2017)

Thank you everyone. I'm still in a state of shock about it to be honest. It was so sudden. I can't believe it was the leg that got him. I always had a bad feeling about the leg but it responded to treatment and even if we had bone scanned before surgery we wouldn't have had time


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## poiuytrewq (14 February 2017)

A very very hard post to read Michen. 
Why is life so cruel. Hugs xx


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## kinnygirl1 (14 February 2017)

I'm so sorry to read this. After all you have been through it seems so unfair.  RIP Basil. ((((hugs)))


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## sasquatch (14 February 2017)

Oh Michen, I am so so sorry and don't quite know what to say 
Please don't be too harsh on yourself, you did your absolute best for him and I can't imagine how heartbreaking this is for you. It seems so absolutely unfair. 

Lots of hugs, and good vibes to you Michen xx


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## HashRouge (14 February 2017)

I'm so sorry to read this Michen, you have the moist awful luck and your bond with Basil was obvious to anyone who read your posts 
I can't really say anything that will help, but I didn't want to read and not comment.

Please don't dwell too much on Basil's last moments. Unfortunately recovery is a risky period for any horse that has been under anaesthetic. My friend's horse also broke her leg when coming round after colic surgery, and my friend is an equine vet and like you she was just trying to do her best for her horse. Sometimes the best is all we can do, but it doesn't always end well xx


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## DD (14 February 2017)

So very sorry to hear this news, absolutely heartbreaking.


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## Custard Cream (14 February 2017)

Can't say anything different to everyone else but I read your post with tears pouring down my face. Know that you did your best, that your pony was loved and nothing else matters.


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## sidsmum (14 February 2017)

I am so sorry and can only echo everyone else.  I'm in tears too.  Big hugs and take care of yourself. xx


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## Michen (14 February 2017)

Thank you so much everyone. Can't reply to everyone individually but I have read every single message. 

I am still completely and utterly devastated and swinging from hysterical to furious to sad. Half of me wants to go and fill his stable tomorrow because I can't bear the idea of not having the routine and structure that a horse brings and the focus. Packing up his things and leaving the yard almost seems like too much to bear. The other half of me never wants to look at another horse again.


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## EventingMum (14 February 2017)

Your obvious devotion to any horse in your care means it would be a great shame if you didn't give some deserving horse a home at some point in the future - maybe not tomorrow but before too long - you have so much to offer x


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## Michen (14 February 2017)

Thank you. I can't help feel like a bit of a failure at the moment. I knew he played with his fieldmate and I knew it was rough at times and had often thought maybe they should be seperate. But they were also great friends and I know Basil loved having a field pal so I did what I thought was best, even though it turned out not to be  

Urgh, it's so easy to just sit and torture yourself over every small detail! Xx



EventingMum said:



			Your obvious devotion to any horse in your care means it would be a great shame if you didn't give some deserving horse a home at some point in the future - maybe not tomorrow but before too long - you have so much to offer x
		
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## Leo Walker (14 February 2017)

Michen said:



			Thank you so much everyone. Can't reply to everyone individually but I have read every single message. 

I am still completely and utterly devastated and swinging from hysterical to furious to sad. Half of me wants to go and fill his stable tomorrow because I can't bear the idea of not having the routine and structure that a horse brings and the focus. Packing up his things and leaving the yard almost seems like too much to bear. The other half of me never wants to look at another horse again.
		
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Speaking as someone who in a horrendous twist of fate ended up with a new one the day before my boy was PTS, then I'd say get another one, even or especially if its a project to bring on. Because I had him, I had to just get on with it. He needed me and that was that. The first few days were very hard but I honestly think I would have walked away and never had another horse otherwise. I just treated him as a project and kept saying he was to be sold once I got him right. 

A month on and while I will never, ever replace Frankie, the new boy has bought me an incredible amount of pleasure and has helped keep me sane through the worst of the grieving process. The talk of him being a project and selling him on has slowly stopped now and it looks like hes a keeper after all.


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## Piaffe19 (14 February 2017)

Michen, I don't post often but have followed your journey with Torres all the way through to your adventures with the lovely Basil. You have a remarkable love and devotion to your  horses whch shines through with every post that you have made, unlike so many it is clear that you put the horses first no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for what happened, sadly that is the unavoidable tragic nature of horses, as an owner you did the kindest thing that can be done for a horse which is allow him to go out in the field with other horses and actually be a horse. Truly sorry for your loss xxx


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## Michen (15 February 2017)

Thank you xxx



Piaffe19 said:



			Michen, I don't post often but have followed your journey with Torres all the way through to your adventures with the lovely Basil. You have a remarkable love and devotion to your  horses whch shines through with every post that you have made, unlike so many it is clear that you put the horses first no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for what happened, sadly that is the unavoidable tragic nature of horses, as an owner you did the kindest thing that can be done for a horse which is allow him to go out in the field with other horses and actually be a horse. Truly sorry for your loss xxx
		
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## Annagain (15 February 2017)

Michen said:



			Thank you. I can't help feel like a bit of a failure at the moment. I knew he played with his fieldmate and I knew it was rough at times and had often thought maybe they should be seperate. But they were also great friends and I know Basil loved having a field pal so I did what I thought was best, even though it turned out not to be  

Urgh, it's so easy to just sit and torture yourself over every small detail! Xx
		
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That kick could so easily have happened while you were out hunting or even on a hack with a friend. You adored him, gave him every care, he never wanted for anything  - including the chance to just be a horse and to enjoy horsey company which is a really important thing in my mind - and he clearly loved his life. You could almost see the smile on his face in the photos you posted and I loved his naughty hunting stories, even if you didn't at the time! 

Horses hurt themselves in fields whether they're there on their own or with others. A friend of mine lost her horse when he was on individual turnout. He tried to kick the horse in the field next door, damaged the fence and exposed a nail which gave him a puncture wound in his fetlock. It got infected, got into the joint and they couldn't save him. Some even hurt themselves in their stables, like the mare on here who headbutted the wall. What happened to Basil was just terrible bad luck. There's absolutely nothing to feel like a failure about. Please be kind to yourself.


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## Lammy (15 February 2017)

So so sorry about your boy Michen  You did all you could to help him, there's no way you could have done anything more. 
Sending hugs and hopefully some good fortune your way because you really deserve it. 
And if it helps, don't feel guilty about getting/wanting another horse soon - after my old dog passed away we had a new rescue within 3 weeks because the house was so empty without one and the lack of "dog-routine" was just unbearable. Don't feel bad for this - I think it's a perfectly natural feeling.

xx


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