# New share... Difficult pony



## nanders (9 September 2017)

Hi all,

Hoping I can get some advice before I go up to the stables again tomorrow.

I've just started sharing this lovely 6yo mare who adores her owners but cannot stand me. Bribes and all.

 I've ridden her twice now and she is very disrespectful - headtossing, bucking, turning into fences, haha yesterday she even stopped mid trot and pushed the arena gate open! She's very stubborn and it took me almost an hour to get her to respond to my contact.

It's not just the riding though. She is afraid of her bridle. And I'm not sure how to approach putting it on without her hurting herself. She pitches quite a fit, trying to bite and back onto the wall. The owners have had to help hold her as I've taken apart he whole thing. I can't even put her head collar on. How am I going to catch her from the field? -_-

What can I do to gain her trust? Tomorrow I'll be doing everything by myself and I ugh?!?

Should I stop riding for a bit and just lunge whilst we get used to eachother?


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## Midlifecrisis (9 September 2017)

Doesn't sound like the right horse share for you...perhaps rethink it?


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## Pearlsasinger (9 September 2017)

Did you try the horse before agreeing to the share?  Why did the owners think you would be a good match?


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## nanders (9 September 2017)

He owners thought I'd be a good match because I've  a been a groom off and on  a for 4 years - mind you it's been for schools. When I first rode her she was cheeky but not too bad as I went on after the owner's kid went on. She was a bit naughty for her though. I think she and I both need a bit of training. Especially as I've never had a horse so young


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## FestiveFuzz (10 September 2017)

I'm surprised the owner is willing to leave you to your own devices so soon given the issues you seem to be facing. 

In the school it just sounds like she's being a nappy madam. You say it took an hour to get her to respond to your contact, what were you doing to get her on the contact? The head tossing and bucking could be because you took too firm a contact and she felt trapped. Did the owner offer any suggestions when she was doing this? I tend to aim for long and low when I'm riding a new horse, particularly one that is young or may be green and then gradually take up the contact rather than battling on and causing tension. 

I'm also not convinced the bridling is a trust issue (unless the owner has the same issues?) as it sounds like she's spotted you're not too confident and is taking the pee. I'd just work on being consistent when you next see her. If she moves into your space firmly ask her to move over and if she goes to bite I'd give her a tap on the shoulder and say oi. Just be firm but fair with her and don't faff, just crack on with tacking up. 

If you're still not having much luck I'd consider maybe this isn't the right horse for you.


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## Shay (10 September 2017)

Horses are expensive creatures.  They are supposed to be fun.  I'm sorry OP this does not sound like a good arrangement.  I absolutely understand the urge / need for horsey contact.  But I would really look elsewhere for something more suited to you.


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## honetpot (10 September 2017)

Midlifecrisis said:



			Doesn't sound like the right horse share for you...perhaps rethink it?
		
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 I have to agree. 
When my children were small I used to have girls to share them, I would spend as much time with them as my own children as often the reason why they didn't have their own pony was their parents had no interest. I would never leave anyone alone to cope with a naughty pony, that's how they get naughtier.
  Its not your fault, ponies quickly get very experienced at getting their own way, think of the naughtiest boy at school and what they do to avoid work and that's basically most ponies mind set. Bribing them is not going to work, in fact I have a rule you should never feed anything out of your hand and ponies will bite small children to get a treat.
 I should find someone who is interested in helping you, even if you do not get to ride, because that is how you will learn. I have been in your position and that is why we shared our ponies. All the children I helped still ride and I love seeing them on Facebook with their horses, they have all gone on to better things, one won at the Royal Welsh Show, but he started out running at gymkhanas for me when my children were on LR.


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## Sparemare (10 September 2017)

Walk away.  She's not for you.


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## Missionimpossible (15 September 2017)

Another one here thinking this just isn't the horse for you, I'm afraid.


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## LaurenBay (22 September 2017)

before she destroys your confidence I would walk away. You will not be able to manage on your own if you are having difficulties when the owner is present and there to lend a hand.


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## debserofe (23 September 2017)

Sounds like she is not ready to be ridden - she may be six but sounds like a lot of baby behaviour (confusion/worry leading to frustration and temper)!  I know, I have a 7 year old that I have stopped riding and taken right back to basics - haltering (I am guessing that she doesn't halter well either), asking him to bring his head down and round before haltering and taking it off, until it is so smooth and easy (this is a pre-cursor to bridling); leading, stepping back and around me so that I am seen as the immovable object - not something to be run over or moved by him!  Try taking a look at Buck Brannaman DVD's groundwork - excellent resource.


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## SpringArising (23 September 2017)

You don't need to gain her trust you need to gain her respect. It sounds like she's too much horse for you at the moment.


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## oldie48 (23 September 2017)

SpringArising said:



			You don't need to gain her trust you need to gain her respect. It sounds like she's too much horse for you at the moment.
		
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This, she isn't the right horse for you, just walk away and find something more suitable.


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## Equi (23 September 2017)

If this post is true, my reply would be go away from this horse and look at yourself and how you interact with horses. My boy was orginally a share, and its was very clear from the onset he hated the actual person he was with and loved me...she was never cruel to him he just did not like her one bit, an honestly she did not like him either. I liked him from the start and we learned and grew in confidence together and hes my best horse ever. He stil does not like the original person, and makes it very clear.


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