# Pony share at stables



## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

Hi,
My child has started a pony share at the local riding school but it is not what I expected. 
he does 2 days after school and one full day a week. So about 16 hrs a week of which he only seems to ride 1 hr and only be around the horse when he grooms it. The rest is all stable/ yard work. 
I know keeping a horse is hard work and they need to learn responsibility but he has done pony days where he is ridden more in 6 hrs than his whole week. And the worst part is, it’s putting him off. 
my son has adhd and asd. Severe anxiety and low mood. The only thing that relaxes him is being around horses. It is why I thought this would be great. Time to chill with a pony. Riding is not the priority… just being around them. He has never had a problem with mucking out, grooming, etc but now he’s refusing to go to his normal pony club sessions. ( so I lose £40)
they wouldn’t let me stay either even though I have stressed he has anxiety and write up says it’s for the whole family …
he’s in primary school by the way and the full day is 8-5. 
Does this seem like a fair pony share?

I’m new to this and not really sure how to approach it. I was thinking of reducing his hours but if it’s putting him off the thing he loves the most maybe I should cancel it.


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## Arzada (31 May 2022)

It's not working for him at all. I'd look for a different arrangement somewhere else. The days of primary age children being sent up chimneys have long gone. Have you been paying for this share or is it labour in exchange for riding for one hour?


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## Widgeon (31 May 2022)

I would definitely cancel - he's only little, it ought to be fun, not putting him off. You may be new to this but you know your son, and secondly this doesn't sound an entirely normal arrangement - normally a share means you can do more or less what you like with your pony on your days, not be doing yard work for other ponies. If this riding school are not particularly interested in what your son needs it might be time to find another one that's a bit more sympathetic / suitable. If you get stuck maybe give the local RDA a call, they might have some helpful suggestions or contacts.


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## Highmileagecob (31 May 2022)

Expecting a primary aged child to put in a full day 8am to 5pm without parental input is unreasonable in my view. Find another venue!


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## Pmf27 (31 May 2022)

Highmileagecob said:



			Expecting a primary aged child to put in a full day 8am to 5pm without parental input is unreasonable in my view. Find another venue!
		
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Agree with above. This doesn't sound like a normal share, it sounds as though your son is doing a day's work in exchange for a ride. 

I did this myself when I was in primary school and it was fine, as my parents and I knew exactly what the deal was - one day's work from 8am to 4pm and a discounted hour's riding lesson in exchange.

Is there another riding school nearby that you could inquire about shares with? My old riding school, for example, offered loans on their horses which meant you just had to let the YO know when you'd like to ride and for how long, so that she didn't book that particular horse in for a lesson.


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## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

Arzada said:



			It's not working for him at all. I'd look for a different arrangement somewhere else. The days of primary age children being sent up chimneys have long gone. Have you been paying for this share or is it labour in exchange for riding for one hour?
		
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I pay £120 pm


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## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

Pmf27 said:



			Agree with above. This doesn't sound like a normal share, it sounds as though your son is doing a day's work in exchange for a ride.

I did this myself when I was in primary school and it was fine, as my parents and I knew exactly what the deal was - one day's work from 8am to 4pm and a discounted hour's riding lesson in exchange.

Is there another riding school nearby that you could inquire about shares with? My old riding school, for example, offered loans on their horses which meant you just had to let the YO know when you'd like to ride and for how long, so that she didn't book that particular horse in for a lesson.
		
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No other riding school that offers a share. Plus we pay for the share. 
its so hard to find a share/ loan because of his age. I thought this would be perfect. 
now I’m worried if I say something it will affect his lessons. It’s so hard to book in there as it is. And he loves his riding instructor.


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## nagblagger (31 May 2022)

Err am i reading this right, you pay £120 a month for an hours ride a week, and for the privilege of him mucking out ? I know the riding school will have to employ staff and insurance - but an hour! 
if he is not happy, i agree with above posts do not force him, maybe have a meeting with his instructor saying its affecting his mental health and maybe come up with a mutual solution, even if its just a short term with a review date.


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## HeyMich (31 May 2022)

Trapieter said:



			I pay £120 pm
		
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Ooft! I think you could get a lot more value for your money elsewhere! I would take a total step back and remind him why he enjoyed it so much - get some low key lessons booked (at another riding centre), maybe a few hacks out into the countryside, or maybe even a few 'own a pony' days too. Your £120 will pay for a lot without the added pressure of manual labour!


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## smolmaus (31 May 2022)

This sounds so bizarre. Just for illustration, what would happen if he didn't turn up on his weekend day for example? 

If you're paying £120/m for your child to do an activity, be supervised, be taught stable management, have fun etc, him missing a day would be you paying for a service he didn't use. You lose out, but the school presumably won't mind because they get paid anyway. 

If he misses a day of WORK, then the stables loses out on his labour. Would he be expected not to take a lesson that week or make up the day on a Sunday? 

Perhaps an experiment is in order to see how the balance of labour is actually playing out here. Or just end the arrangement since you've already said he doesn't seem to be enjoying it!


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## HeyMich (31 May 2022)

Trapieter said:



			No other riding school that offers a share. Plus we pay for the share.
its so hard to find a share/ loan because of his age. I thought this would be perfect.
now I’m worried if I say something it will affect his lessons. It’s so hard to book in there as it is. And he loves his riding instructor.
		
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Just thinking out loud - do you know where your closes pony club branch is? Could you drop the DC a quick line to see if any of the kids at the pony club would like a share rider? Then you could ask the insructor that he likes to come and give you private lessons (if they do freelance teaching - i've found that most do). The pc DC might be able to point you in the right direction to another riding school in the area too. Worth an email for sure.


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## Spiritedly (31 May 2022)

If the stables were paying an apprentice for those 16 hours they would have to pay them over £300 pm so it seems the yard is just looking for labour who pay for privilege of working around their horses! 
If no other yards offer pony share it may be worth asking on fb or preloved if anyone is looking for a sharer/loaner for a pony and seeing if your instructor would come and give lessons privately.


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## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

HeyMich said:



			Just thinking out loud - do you know where your closes pony club branch is? Could you drop the DC a quick line to see if any of the kids at the pony club would like a share rider? Then you could ask the insructor that he likes to come and give you private lessons (if they do freelance teaching - i've found that most do). The pc DC might be able to point you in the right direction to another riding school in the area too. Worth an email for sure.
		
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This is my closest pony club branch and we are a member😕 I might feel a bit awkward asking that here.


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## ester (31 May 2022)

If it were me I think I’d go back to just paying for a lesson and make enquiries locally (probably on Facebook)  about other options - there certainly seems to be a fair number of underused ponies that people want extra riders/helpers for so long as parent happy to supervise.

it doesn’t take from 8-5 to do ‘his’ pony and if he’s struggling there’s no point in carrying that on and paying to do so.


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## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

Spiritedly said:



			If the stables were paying an apprentice for those 16 hours they would have to pay them over £300 pm so it seems the yard is just looking for labour who pay for privilege of working around their horses!
If no other yards offer pony share it may be worth asking on fb or preloved if anyone is looking for a sharer/loaner for a pony and seeing if your instructor would come and give lessons privately.
		
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I was thinking about this last night and I think you’re right.


smolmaus said:



			This sounds so bizarre. Just for illustration, what would happen if he didn't turn up on his weekend day for example?

If you're paying £120/m for your child to do an activity, be supervised, be taught stable management, have fun etc, him missing a day would be you paying for a service he didn't use. You lose out, but the school presumably won't mind because they get paid anyway.

If he misses a day of WORK, then the stables loses out on his labour. Would he be expected not to take a lesson that week or make up the day on a Sunday?

Perhaps an experiment is in order to see how the balance of labour is actually playing out here. Or just end the arrangement since you've already said he doesn't seem to be enjoying it!
		
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I’m probably going to find out as he was supposed to be there today!


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## Trapieter (31 May 2022)

Thank you everyone for making me feel I’m not crazy and expecting too much. I’m going to speak to them today, try and reduce hours and see if they will let me stay with him. If not I will cancel.


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## EventingMum (31 May 2022)

Another avenue to explore is RDA. The name doesn't truly reflect what many groups offer. The group based at my yard have many participants without physical disabilities, quite a large proportion have varying degrees ADHD, Aspergers etc and really benefit from the calm atmosphere and interaction with the ponies. The volunteers and coaches are also very good at understanding that the participant's mood may vary from session to session. They offer riding, stable management and Equine Facilitated Learning which has had huge therapeutic benefits for some participants who suffer from anxiety. I currently teach one girl who is high functioning with autism and has anxiety. She started when she was in primary school, she is now in her first year at uni but still likes RDA as her de-stressing pony time.


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## Arzada (31 May 2022)

Trapieter said:



			Thank you everyone for making me feel I’m not crazy and expecting too much. I’m going to speak to them today, try and reduce hours and see if they will let me stay with him. If not I will cancel.
		
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I hope you can work something out. Let us know how you get on


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## Wishfilly (1 June 2022)

It all sounds very odd, and not like a normal share at all. I agree that you should (politely) knock the share on the head as he is not enjoying it, and look into other options. There will usually be an element of yard work on a share, but it should relate to his own pony, not looking after others!

If it's just about being around horses for relaxation, it may even be worth finding out if anyone locally has a retired or non ridden pony who would appreciate attention, e.g. grooming, being taken for walks etc. And then he could still keep up his lessons at the stables if you wanted that?


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## HashRouge (1 June 2022)

Do you mean he only rides once out of the 3 days he is there? 

The one thing I would say, from those likening this to slave labour, is that primary school age children are actually not likely to be that much help at all! They do things very slowly and need a lot of supervising/ teaching. It would probably be much easier for the riding school staff to do the chores themselves without the children, so I don't think it's necessarily fair to accuse the stables of taking advantage in that respect. I say this having been a yard manager previously and having to supervise apprentices (age 16 to 18). It would almost always have been much easier for us just to do the yard ourselves, and these were much older individuals than the OP's child. 

That said, I would have some major concerns about this arrangement. An 8am to 5pm day is far too much for a primary school age child, especially if this is one of his weekend days (which it sounds like from the OP). He is probably knackered! I would also want to know exactly what yard jobs the children were being expected to do, because I would expect there to be a reasonable amount of tuition included (not just riding) and would also expect that effort was being put in to make the experience fun for them. If they're literally just being pointed at a stable and told to muck it out, then pointed at the yard and told to sweep it and so on, for a whole day, then I wouldn't be especially thrilled. I would definitely be wanting to find out more about what exactly is going on while your son is there OP, and I would also want to reduce those Sunday hours.

The only other thing that I am curious about, is who are the other children who also do this share arrangement? Does your son have any particular friends who go? Could he actually be feeling left out/ excluded if he doesn't know the other children very well? The reason I ask this is because my experience of helping at a riding school when I was younger is that we all did it for the privilege of hanging out with horses all day, but it was also a very social thing. I don't know if I would have enjoyed it so much if I wasn't with my friends. So I would potentially be digging a bit to find out if there could be any social/ friendship issues at play.

Also, OP if you are in West Sussex and have a car, you are welcome to bring your son to come and meet my ponies. He can give them both a brush and a cuddle, and have a sit on the oldie (she is retired so doesn't do much, but he could walk her round the paddock). No back breaking chores required!


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## Glitterandrainbows (1 June 2022)

I’d look for a private part loan on your local equestrian group as it will be better value for money you can say to the riding school that you want to see how he handles a pony independently without the help of the staff support incase you want to buy in future but still want him to attend pony club for a while as you still want him to learn from them that way no one is offended and you will probably end up paying less than you are now in a private loan home as often it’s finding the time to ride for some kids/teens


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## Trapieter (3 June 2022)

HashRouge said:



			Do you mean he only rides once out of the 3 days he is there?

The one thing I would say, from those likening this to slave labour, is that primary school age children are actually not likely to be that much help at all! They do things very slowly and need a lot of supervising/ teaching. It would probably be much easier for the riding school staff to do the chores themselves without the children, so I don't think it's necessarily fair to accuse the stables of taking advantage in that respect. I say this having been a yard manager previously and having to supervise apprentices (age 16 to 18). It would almost always have been much easier for us just to do the yard ourselves, and these were much older individuals than the OP's child.

That said, I would have some major concerns about this arrangement. An 8am to 5pm day is far too much for a primary school age child, especially if this is one of his weekend days (which it sounds like from the OP). He is probably knackered! I would also want to know exactly what yard jobs the children were being expected to do, because I would expect there to be a reasonable amount of tuition included (not just riding) and would also expect that effort was being put in to make the experience fun for them. If they're literally just being pointed at a stable and told to muck it out, then pointed at the yard and told to sweep it and so on, for a whole day, then I wouldn't be especially thrilled. I would definitely be wanting to find out more about what exactly is going on while your son is there OP, and I would also want to reduce those Sunday hours.

The only other thing that I am curious about, is who are the other children who also do this share arrangement? Does your son have any particular friends who go? Could he actually be feeling left out/ excluded if he doesn't know the other children very well? The reason I ask this is because my experience of helping at a riding school when I was younger is that we all did it for the privilege of hanging out with horses all day, but it was also a very social thing. I don't know if I would have enjoyed it so much if I wasn't with my friends. So I would potentially be digging a bit to find out if there could be any social/ friendship issues at play.

Also, OP if you are in West Sussex and have a car, you are welcome to bring your son to come and meet my ponies. He can give them both a brush and a cuddle, and have a sit on the oldie (she is retired so doesn't do much, but he could walk her round the paddock). No back breaking chores required!
		
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Yes, he has one hack included a week. He does 2 days after school and I even booked his riding lesson on that day so he would ride his share pony but was told he may not be able to ride as the horse may have been used during the day. I guess that explains why it’s only once a week.

I’ve  managed to reduce it by 1 hr on the full days as said 8-5 was a bit too long and was told all the sharers do it but they do it because they do it for the love of being around horses and being with friends. 
I kind of felt it was implied my son can’t have that love/ passion as he is moaning about it. No understanding of his anxiety or whether I can stay. 
he is making friends there but of course his nerves don’t help.
Trying to discuss the matter has been a nightmare really. If the other staff were the same I would be gone but yesterday we booked a session and the staff and older volunteers were so good with him. He has been hiding a saddle pad and ears for ages, too nervous to ask if he could put it on and they all got excited “ you have to show me, I have a saddle pad addiction!” And when he got it out they were all so encouraging he felt good about it and put it on, groomed and plaited the hair. Even did a fancy braid in the tail which normally he wouldn’t even attempt. It was so nice and he loved it. 
just wish his pony share was as fun. 
he asked me to buy him a grooming set yesterday so maybe he will be more confident in what he wants whilst there rather than just asking “what shall I do now” and as you say be pointed to a random job which is what has been happening. He’s sick of cleaning tack. I asked him if the saddle he used was the one he’d been cleaning “ yes, but I clean it better than that” 😂 
He has 2 long days this week I just hope it improves. I would love for him to make friends and they help each other out, ride together. 
And thank you so much for the offer but we are miles away, very sweet of you x


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## Gloi (3 June 2022)

I find this rather worrying if he is only at primary school. Is it even legal.


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## Trapieter (3 June 2022)

Gloi said:



			I find this rather worrying if he is only at primary school. Is it even legal.
		
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I’m guessing it doesn’t come under voluntary or work as it is paid for so not even sure what you would check :/


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## Highmileagecob (4 June 2022)

If he were my son I think I would cancel the share and continue the booked sessions. Maybe go back to the share when he is older. Hope you can work something out.


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## Winters100 (5 June 2022)

I would be curious as to what he is actually doing there for 8 hours.  I am not sure what the ages are for Primary School in the UK, but assuming that it is below 10 I would think that the children are not very useful, and require more supervision than any tasks are really worth.  I doubt the tasks are really hard, because what would you be able to get a child this age to do well?  Perhaps the price is such because the riding school considers that it is providing 8 hours childcare?  Before making a decision I would try to have a discussion with them to see exactly what is happening, and then to find out why he is not enjoying it.  It may just be that he is upset at being apart from you for this long, in which case the decision is one that only you can make, knowing your child, either push him to continue to make him more independent, or look for other arrangements.  Good luck untangling this, I suspect there is more to it than you currently know!


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## Trapieter (15 June 2022)

So this is not a pony share. Really I think the £30 covers their hack and the rest is just helping out. He rides the horse once .. on that hack or if I have booked him a lesson on his pony share day or an event I have paid for. 
but that really didn’t work out well last time as the horse did not want to move in the private lesson. 2 instructors tried, at one point a child from another lesson had to be followed by my son on the horse as on his own wouldn’t go. Then they had to get a volunteer ( probably another pony sharer) to come lead reign basically. His instructor was not happy and said it was a waste of time yet they won’t let him change. 
whilst he is there he poo picks the field, fills the water and hay nets, brings horse up from field, grooms horse, gives another Hay net and water. Get the pony ready for other riders having a lesson on him so tack up, untack and lead reign for them if necessary for a lesson or a hack. Rinse horse down if needed and groom after being ridden, clean tack. Rinse horse food bowls, do hay nets and water for other horses, rug the horse and take back to the field. Redo water and hay and poo pick again. And any other jobs they ask him to do.
 I spoke to his friends mum who has bought a horse and I said I just can’t afford it. But she told me her expenses and it’s really not too bad. Now, if I had said before this pony share we could get a horse he would be all over it. But now he thinks having a horse is just work work work. He said the pony share has ruined his love for horses. Yet … after being there on a pony share day he says he wants to keep doing it? So confusing. I think he believes having a horse is 9 hrs a day non stop work now! He really just wants to chill with the horse.


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## Highmileagecob (15 June 2022)

Hmmm the cash is flowing in the wrong direction - they should be paying your son, as he is acting as groom whilst he is there. And what is the health & safety policy if he is not an employee? You are right to ask questions, as this set up sounds a bit dubious.
Hope it works out for you!


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## Arzada (15 June 2022)

Arzada said:



			It's not working for him at all. I'd look for a different arrangement somewhere else. The days of primary age children being sent up chimneys have long gone. Have you been paying for this share or is it labour in exchange for riding for one hour?
		
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So it's child labour *plus *£30 in exchange for one hour's riding. I'm stunned. I'd look for something more suited to him somewhere else ie some riding, some simple tasks like grooming his pony, tack cleaning after his ride and some hanging out with a pony for significantly fewer hours per day


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## Cloball (15 June 2022)

I used to 'help' at my local stables on a Saturday when I was 11 doing similar jobs, so much tack cleaning! But I also used to get at least 2 hours riding in one lesson and one hack and sometimes I'd get a long hack in. It was hard work and we used to start at 7am and sometimes not leave til 7 but we weren't bound by those hours and we could essentially leave whenever we wanted. Plus I was with my two best friends. We also didn't pay for the privilege only for the lessons, sometimes we even got extra free lessons with the guys doing there levels training if the wanted guinea pigs.

I know times have changed now and maybe the share and paying arrangements are to get around certain insurance loop holes but I still think it's a lot especially as his lessons don't seem to be going well. It's not exactly a horse share is it, its more yard volunteering. Then again I am nostalgic for my pre teen ponies years with my friends.


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## Lindylouanne (15 June 2022)

That’s pure child labour. I did what he does from aged 11 onwards at a riding school back in the 70’s on a Saturday and always got a free ride for helping. It was a great experience but my parents didn’t pay the YO for the privilege.


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## Gloi (15 June 2022)

HappyHollyDays said:



			That’s pure child labour. I did what he does from aged 11 onwards at a riding school back in the 70’s on a Saturday and always got a free ride for helping. It was a great experience but my parents didn’t pay the YO for the privilege.
		
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Yes it sounds like what my friends and I did. Help out with the ponies on a Saturday in return for a free ride. We were a little older though, about 13 , and we didn't have to pay anything, and did a lot less work than your child, manly lead reining beginners on lessons and catching/tacking up/ untacking ponies .


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## FinnishLapphund (15 June 2022)

At the moment he still likes it when he's actually there, but between that, he says this experience have ruined his love for horses. Don't wait with putting a stop to this until when he no longer likes it also on the days when he is there.

To only take one example, you've said he's been cleaning other horse's tack, not just his supposedly "share" pony's tack. Remind him about that what he currently does, do not equal the actual amount of work of looking after only 1 pony, because then he would only need to keep his pony's tack clean etc. 

Even if you don't get his own pony, surely it would be better to travel further to somewhere else, where he might get less time but better quality pony time, than to continue as it is.


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## Trapieter (15 June 2022)

I have to give a weeks notice so he still has to do the rest of this week and next week. ( and not change his mind!) he can volunteer up there from the age of 12 so if he wants to do that then .. fair enough. But yes I shouldn’t be paying for the privilege. I’d rather buy a horse and get a share on our horse to reduce costs
And work…. And make another person happy! But I think it will be a while until he gets back to that point. I think even after we stop the share my son will be stuck on this horse for lessons. He is a lovely horse but I really think he prefers hacking to schooling and so in the evenings he’s just had enough. And my son is progressing his canter/ jumping/ gallop so it’s not working. 
I may have to move schools
As suggested.


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## Arzada (15 June 2022)

What is your general location? Someone may be able to suggest alternatives.


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## Trapieter (15 June 2022)

Arzada said:



			What is your general location? Someone may be able to suggest alternatives.
		
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I’m in Cornwall


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## Nasicus (15 June 2022)

I have to give a weeks notice so he still has to do the rest of this week and next week.
		
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Ex-CUSE ME?! They want you to *pay* for the privilege of your child doing hard labour and they want a *weeks* notice, presumable with you continuing to pay for it? He's a child, paying for an activity, he's not an employee being paid for gods sake!
I mean this will the best of intent, but you need to grow a pair and tell them no and find a different school that doesn't take the royal almighty piss, make your primary aged child work 9 hours doing manual labour and charge you for doing so. For context, I work 7.5hrs a day and get PAID for it, and I'm a full grown adult who can stand up for themselves and their rights. The entire setup and the fact that people willingly pay for it is absolutely mindboggling.

He is not enjoying himself, he's said it's ruining his love of horses so you need to stand up and advocate for him.


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## ycbm (15 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			I have to give a weeks notice so he still has to do the rest of this week and next week.
		
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You don't. He doesn't. 

He's a child,  you and he can stop this abuse and exploitation  whenever you want.


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## Lacuna (15 June 2022)

This doesn't sound like a share to me.
Local riding centre where I used to live did an 'Loan a Pony scheme' when you could use the horse when you wanted when it wasn't being used in the Riding School (restrictions on the amount of work per day/week), you did the stable management of only that horse (tack clean, muck out, etc) and had to attend a stable management course. It was a 3 month arrangement and worked out the same price per month as the OP is paying. You paid for lessons at a discounted rate and was aimed at those people thinking of horse ownership and moving to a share. Not gaining free labour for the yard!

This sounds more like the work for ride arrangement I did as a teen (yard wouldn't allow primary school kids to do that even back then (25 years ago). And that was one 'day' of work  of about 4-6 hrs and you had a ride in the week as 'payment'. I'm pretty sure insurance wouldn't cover under 14s today and so a lot of people don't allow kids to help out any more.

16hrs a week is way too much for a primary age kid - I wouldn't let my daughter (10) to do that much however horse mad she was as I think it has far too much potential to sour the activity for the child.


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## Pinkvboots (15 June 2022)

I think what they are doing is disgusting I can't believe it's legal either.

I spent every waking hour at a riding school when I was about 11 until I was about 13, slogging away for nothing but at least I wasn't charged for the pleasure.

I think its a very sneeky crafty way of exploiting kids personally and I would just find a local pony to share and enjoy 😉 and if you want to be there for a few hours on your days at least you can.


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## Trapieter (15 June 2022)

ycbm said:



			You don't. He doesn't.

He's a child,  you and he can stop this abuse and exploitation  whenever you want.
		
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It’s done by direct debit so they will take the money anyway. But yes he shouldn’t have to go.


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## ester (15 June 2022)

I presume it’s a way to get round the regs of having kids his age ‘work for rides’ etc (hence why they can volunteer once older) in that you are currently paying for him to be there


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## Wishfilly (15 June 2022)

Why not see if you can find him a private share? It will be a lot less work, and a much smaller leap than buying your own.

Getting your own is work- and to be clear it will be work for YOU as livery yards will not have young children on them unsupervised. There are hidden costs to horse ownership too (but I agree livery down here can be cheap). 

Buying your own is obviously not a 9 hour a day commitment, but it is a commitment every day unless you're shelling out for full livery. 

I'd tell them he's not attending next week, even if you have to pay.


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## View (15 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			It’s done by direct debit so they will take the money anyway. But yes he shouldn’t have to go.
		
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Just cancel the direct debit at your end online.

Then tell them he is not attending.

What has been happening is pure exploitation. I hope somebody more local to you can suggest a better riding school - it needs to be fun and not drudgery for him.


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## Trapieter (16 June 2022)

Nasicus said:



			Ex-CUSE ME?! They want you to *pay* for the privilege of your child doing hard labour and they want a *weeks* notice, presumable with you continuing to pay for it? He's a child, paying for an activity, he's not an employee being paid for gods sake!
I mean this will the best of intent, but you need to grow a pair and tell them no and find a different school that doesn't take the royal almighty piss, make your primary aged child work 9 hours doing manual labour and charge you for doing so. For context, I work 7.5hrs a day and get PAID for it, and I'm a full grown adult who can stand up for themselves and their rights. The entire setup and the fact that people willingly pay for it is absolutely mindboggling.

He is not enjoying himself, he's said it's ruining his love of horses so you need to stand up and advocate for him.
		
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## Trapieter (16 June 2022)

I had a day taken off and reduced the long day by an hour.. the owner wasn’t happy but it turned out in holidays he had to do 3 9 hr days and still only get one ride! 
its hard as his fave teacher is there, it’s the pony club centre and he has no where else to go. I also feel the owner would have no trouble making us pay in other ways if I got on her wrong side. It’s already clicky as hell up there and we are not in lol. Frankly I’m peed that he got pushed into sharing this particular horse when he is very unsuitable. By other staff I trusted! To be honest I’m already feeling it. If we could go somewhere else I would be less diplomatic lol


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## Fjord (16 June 2022)

You have to pay AND he has to work 27 hours for one ride? That's madness, no wonder he isn't enjoying it.

You'd be much better off cancelling the direct debit, telling them he can't attend (say he's ill if it helps) and finding someone with a pony that needs a sharer a couple of days a week.

They are taking the p.


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## Highmileagecob (16 June 2022)

Ask around in your local feed merchants or put an advert on their notice boards. There may be a family who would welcome a helping hand with the family pony. Your situation sounds to be a cop-out of health & safety regulations, which have to be observed to the nth degree if they employ people. I am betting you have a disclaimer saying that you allow your child to be around the ponies, and they accept no responsibility for injury.


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## Pinkvboots (16 June 2022)

It sounds awful just cancel the direct debit and have a look about on Preloved, Facebook and tack shops you could even put a wanted advert yourself looking for a share.

Surely you can find something better than that place even the people sound horrible.


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## ycbm (16 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			I had a day taken off and reduced the long day by an hour.. the owner wasn’t happy but it turned out in holidays he had to do 3 9 hr days and still only get one ride!
its hard as his fave teacher is there, it’s the pony club centre and he has no where else to go. I also feel the owner would have no trouble making us pay in other ways if I got on her wrong side. It’s already clicky as hell up there and we are not in lol. Frankly I’m peed that he got pushed into sharing this particular horse when he is very unsuitable. By other staff I trusted! To be honest I’m already feeling it. If we could go somewhere else I would be less diplomatic lol
		
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Why do you keep calling it a share?   You are paying £30 for one shared lesson a week,  in addition to which your son works 18+ hours a week for the stables.  That is not any kind of a share.

Where is this place?  It wants reporting.  
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## HeyMich (16 June 2022)

ycbm said:



			Where is this place?  It wants reporting. 
.
		
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I was thinking exactly that. Which branch of the Pony Club is based there? Do they know how the place is run/managed? It goes against everything the pony club stands for, and I'm not sure senior PC management would really approve.


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## Flyermc (16 June 2022)

I did this, when i was younger (20+ years ago) i went to the riding stables to help out for free, all day and in return i got a hack out. However you only got a 'free' ride if you had at least 1 paid riding lesson a week. Back then it was £15 for an hour lesson. 

Id work once for free and have to pay for my lesson, and then twice for free, for a free ride (wasnt a lesson) but, if there wasnt any ponies free, you didnt always get a ride. This didnt happen often tho!

It wasnt a share/loan as it was any pony and often the ones that were not that suitable for lessons!

It worked for us, as i got to ride and be around ponies 3 days a week for £15


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## Gloi (16 June 2022)

ycbm said:



			Why do you keep calling it a share?   You are paying £30 for one shared lesson a week,  in addition to which your son works 18+ hours a week for the stables.  That is not any kind of a share.

Where is this place?  It wants reporting.  
.
		
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I was thinking that. Child labour and exploitation. Is the riding school licenced? Who could it be reported to. Pony club? Bhs? Council? Social services? Police?


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## Nasicus (16 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			I had a day taken off and reduced the long day by an hour.. the owner wasn’t happy but it turned out in holidays he had to do 3 9 hr days and still only get one ride!
its hard as his fave teacher is there, it’s the pony club centre and he has no where else to go. I also feel the owner would have no trouble making us pay in other ways if I got on her wrong side. It’s already clicky as hell up there and we are not in lol. Frankly I’m peed that he got pushed into sharing this particular horse when he is very unsuitable. By other staff I trusted! To be honest I’m already feeling it. If we could go somewhere else I would be less diplomatic lol
		
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Just... LEAVE. Noones holding a gun to your head and making you go there. Cancel the direct debit, block the number if you're likely to get harassed and find somewhere else. Why would you even want to go somewhere where the owner 'would have no trouble making us pay in other ways if I got on her wrong side'? A place that uses child labour and makes primary aged kids do manual labour for 27hrs a week during holidays and the parents pay £30 just for a single bloody ride?! I can literally ring up any of the riding stables around here, book a lesson or hack, pay my £30 and go enjoy the ride without any labour involved at all.

To put it another way, if he was being paid an apprentice wage (aka the lowest amount possible), for 27 hours he would be earning £129.

Where are you located in Cornwall? There is bound to be somewhere else that operates like a NORMAL riding school and not some bizarre child labour camp. Your son will find a new favourite teacher and a new favourite pony. 
Even a share could be an option, my friend has a little welsh A that a primary aged girl has been coming up and riding, fussing and loving on for over 4 years now. Friend doesn't charge anything, girl and her mum just poo pick and put hay out. The girl and pony are best of friends, he's taught her a lot as she has him! They've gone from pottering around on the lead rein to jumping and cantering in the grass school and hacking out. Things can be so much better for your boy, but they won't get better staying at that absolute disaster of a yard!


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## Wishfilly (16 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			I had a day taken off and reduced the long day by an hour.. the owner wasn’t happy but it turned out in holidays he had to do 3 9 hr days and still only get one ride!
its hard as his fave teacher is there, it’s the pony club centre and he has no where else to go. I also feel the owner would have no trouble making us pay in other ways if I got on her wrong side. It’s already clicky as hell up there and we are not in lol. Frankly I’m peed that he got pushed into sharing this particular horse when he is very unsuitable. By other staff I trusted! To be honest I’m already feeling it. If we could go somewhere else I would be less diplomatic lol
		
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There are a couple of pony club centres in Cornwall, if you're at one of the central ones then you could switch to the other. There are also lots of really welcoming branches, so if you did find a private share or loan you could continue with pony club outside one of the centers. 

(There's also a riding stables which is a pony club centre which I wouldn't want anyone I knew to go near, but that's another story). 

You absolutely can go somewhere else, depending on where you are in Cornwall, PM me and I may be able to recommend somewhere with nice instructors and a supportive atmosphere for you to try! 

It sounds like there are lots of issues with this place, so I STRONGLY suggest you find somewhere else where you are all happy.


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## Trapieter (17 June 2022)

Thank you for all the replies. We are cancelling it and my son is happy. He heard  his grandma talking about a different stable and asked why, I explained we felt he should go somewhere else but he’s not happy about it. There is a lovely little stable near us and it has great pony days and things but not so good on lessons. But I’ve seen them advertising for more instructors so I’ll try to move him over gradually. Pony club is the only stickler. The others are miles away. But I know he wants to do the shooting with pony club and they don’t do that here. His fave 3 things.. swimming, shooting and riding! I’m going to see if we can watch an event and that may help him want to move elsewhere.
I’m just a mum of a horse lover. Everyone else seems completely happy with these arrangements .. so I figured that is just how it is? They are charging money to mums to learn what it takes to be a pony club mum… it’s more than the pony club session. Surely this should be free advice? But mums are all up for it?
I do keep an eye out for a pony share but many won’t have anyone under 18 and want experienced riders. I would insure him if he did a pony share and a parent would be present. But I think we will get summer over now, let him forget this weirdness and see where we are.


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## Wishfilly (17 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			Thank you for all the replies. We are cancelling it and my son is happy. He heard  his grandma talking about a different stable and asked why, I explained we felt he should go somewhere else but he’s not happy about it. There is a lovely little stable near us and it has great pony days and things but not so good on lessons. But I’ve seen them advertising for more instructors so I’ll try to move him over gradually. Pony club is the only stickler. The others are miles away. But I know he wants to do the shooting with pony club and they don’t do that here. His fave 3 things.. swimming, shooting and riding! I’m going to see if we can watch an event and that may help him want to move elsewhere.
I’m just a mum of a horse lover. Everyone else seems completely happy with these arrangements .. so I figured that is just how it is? They are charging money to mums to learn what it takes to be a pony club mum… it’s more than the pony club session. Surely this should be free advice? But mums are all up for it?
I do keep an eye out for a pony share but many won’t have anyone under 18 and want experienced riders. I would insure him if he did a pony share and a parent would be present. But I think we will get summer over now, let him forget this weirdness and see where we are.
		
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Put out a wanted ad for a share, or get in touch with your local pony club branch (not center)- they will know if there is anyone looking for a sharer/rider.


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## Lacuna (21 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			Thank you for all the replies. We are cancelling it and my son is happy. He heard  his grandma talking about a different stable and asked why, I explained we felt he should go somewhere else but he’s not happy about it. There is a lovely little stable near us and it has great pony days and things but not so good on lessons. But I’ve seen them advertising for more instructors so I’ll try to move him over gradually. Pony club is the only stickler. The others are miles away. But I know he wants to do the shooting with pony club and they don’t do that here. His fave 3 things.. swimming, shooting and riding! I’m going to see if we can watch an event and that may help him want to move elsewhere.
I’m just a mum of a horse lover. Everyone else seems completely happy with these arrangements .. so I figured that is just how it is? They are charging money to mums to learn what it takes to be a pony club mum… it’s more than the pony club session. Surely this should be free advice? But mums are all up for it?
I do keep an eye out for a pony share but many won’t have anyone under 18 and want experienced riders. I would insure him if he did a pony share and a parent would be present. But I think we will get summer over now, let him forget this weirdness and see where we are.
		
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See if there are any local shows around where he can watch the ponies and you can potentially chat to other horsey people. A bit of networking may pay off as a lot of shares for kids will be word of mouth and you might find someone who knows of a pony looking for a rider.

"They are charging money to mums to learn what it takes to be a pony club mum… it’s more than the pony club session. " - My tuppence worth is they are charging you for your child's labour! There are costs involved in being a pony club mum and you learn by experience. I would expect to pay for lessons and gear for the kid at his age. A share is about paying for the use of one horse, caring and riding for it; not being a dogsbody round the stables for 20+ hrs a week.


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## Trapieter (21 June 2022)

Lacuna said:



			See if there are any local shows around where he can watch the ponies and you can potentially chat to other horsey people. A bit of networking may pay off as a lot of shares for kids will be word of mouth and you might find someone who knows of a pony looking for a rider.

"They are charging money to mums to learn what it takes to be a pony club mum… it’s more than the pony club session. " - My tuppence worth is they are charging you for your child's labour! There are costs involved in being a pony club mum and you learn by experience. I would expect to pay for lessons and gear for the kid at his age. A share is about paying for the use of one horse, caring and riding for it; not being a dogsbody round the stables for 20+ hrs a week.
		
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I’m going to see someone this week who is literally 5 minutes away and looking for a sharer so fingers crossed 🤞 she said they are just busy and want someone to love the horse as they do. 
I completely agree. That was not a horse share. Last week he did 12 hrs and didn’t even get a ride as they were hosting an event so the pony sharers were putting up horse jump courses and lead reining, getting their share horse ready for others to ride. I was going to say Charlie was away this week but he has a lesson on his share day. Mind you I’m very interested in “the plan” they have. As the last time Charlie rode this horse the instructor was very unhappy and said she didn’t want him to ride that horse on her lesson but now the owner says they have a plan 🤣 2 instructors, a lead reign pony and then lead reigning the horse didn’t work last time. Our friend also wants to change horse but was told she was not “pressing the right buttons” but surely that is what we are paying nearly £50 for.. to be taught the right button? 
im rubbish at networking lol too much of an introvert. I am going to a family day at duchy college though to see if there’s anything they can offer (rda?) or anything up that way. I’ll try to talk to people! Why not, I could do with some more horsey friends, I need the help! 
thank you 😊


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## Trakky14 (24 June 2022)

I'm so sad reading this, they are totally ripping you off, what a terrible arrangement. They are being really unfair to you both, I hate it when people do this at the expense of people who don't have their own horses or access to them, other than at riding schools. These sharer arrangements at riding schools are always bad, the ponies are used to much that the sharer kids never get to use them much and when they do the ponies are just disinterested. 

I would post an advert on your local horsey FB groups asking for anyone who might be looking for a sharer, with the cost of living so high there is bound to be someone who wants their horses exercised or generally groomed etc. I hope you find something else.


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## Trapieter (24 June 2022)

We are meeting with a lady and her ponies on Sunday so hopefully that will work out. 
I took my son to buy new boots today and got chatting with a lady ( if you’re on here hi 👋) it turns out we are not the only ones unhappy with the arrangement. I guess I should of asked on here or locally first as it is known  but seriously the advertisement made it sound wonderful. 
As for the “plan” to make the poor cob move… it was going to be a someone lead reining a pony in front for an hour! Luckily the owner “ worked him out” and realised he’s a group horse. So my son got a different pony for riding lessons and wow… he did not stop smiling the whole hour. He’s excited again and in love again since stopping the share. He still cuddles the horse he shared, he was not the problem. 
what should I be wary of on a private share… going in prepared this time lol


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## Trakky14 (25 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			We are meeting with a lady and her ponies on Sunday so hopefully that will work out.
I took my son to buy new boots today and got chatting with a lady ( if you’re on here hi 👋) it turns out we are not the only ones unhappy with the arrangement. I guess I should of asked on here or locally first as it is known  but seriously the advertisement made it sound wonderful.
As for the “plan” to make the poor cob move… it was going to be a someone lead reining a pony in front for an hour! Luckily the owner “ worked him out” and realised he’s a group horse. So my son got a different pony for riding lessons and wow… he did not stop smiling the whole hour. He’s excited again and in love again since stopping the share. He still cuddles the horse he shared, he was not the problem.
what should I be wary of on a private share… going in prepared this time lol
		
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Good luck, I hope it works out for you x


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## Gloi (25 June 2022)

Make sure you get on with the owner and have a good talk about what both your expectations are before you begin the share.


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## Highmileagecob (25 June 2022)

Make sure the pony is right for your son's ability, and work out between you and the owner what the share entails.


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## Gloi (25 June 2022)

Make sure you see someone else ride the pony before you let your son get on and if you think it will be too much for him don't be afraid to say.


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## Trapieter (26 June 2022)

Ok.that didn’t go to plan either!
I waited 2 hours for her to turn up and no show but that’s not the issue. The horses are in terrible condition! She hasn’t answered me all day so my friend messaged her and asked about the loan and she replied straight away! So we did some digging because I would help if she needed it and this was just an off period but turns out she rides the horses in this state. She is aware. Also one of the horses she advertised 2 days ago is missing…Feel like crying. So I’m going to get the horses help. You can see there pelvic bones, ribs and shoulders. I’ll probably start a new thread on this tomorrow if the plan doesn’t work. Crazy


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## nagblagger (26 June 2022)

So sorry T, at least you found out at the beginning and you are going to get help for the horses, so something positive will come out of this experience.

Keep trying, there are some good owners out there that would love to have your help. shame you're not closer to me.


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## Arzada (26 June 2022)

That is awful OP. Well done on seeking help for the horses. Hoping that a good share comes along soon for you and your son.


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## teapot (26 June 2022)

Run. Away. Fast. 

It's setting off a load of alarm bells in my head.


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## Trakky14 (27 June 2022)

oh no...that sounds terrible! I'd leave that one if i were you! Fingers crossed you find something soon


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## Nasicus (27 June 2022)

Trapieter said:



			Ok.that didn’t go to plan either!
I waited 2 hours for her to turn up and no show but that’s not the issue. The horses are in terrible condition! She hasn’t answered me all day so my friend messaged her and asked about the loan and she replied straight away! So we did some digging because I would help if she needed it and this was just an off period but turns out she rides the horses in this state. She is aware. Also one of the horses she advertised 2 days ago is missing…Feel like crying. So I’m going to get the horses help. You can see there pelvic bones, ribs and shoulders. I’ll probably start a new thread on this tomorrow if the plan doesn’t work. Crazy
		
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Oh what a shame! Get in contact with World Horse Welfare, don't bother getting the RSPCA involved as they are bloody useless with horses, and once they're engaged the others can't be.


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