# RIP Mrs Esme Jack



## dorito (18 June 2014)

I can't see any reference to this remarkable lady on HHO forum but used to have lessons with her many years ago, and am sorry to hear of her death. Just thought others may be interested to know.

Obituary in the Telegraph online.

Here's a link:http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/10897884/Esme-Jack-obituary.html


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## eahotson (18 June 2014)

Sounds a fascinating woman


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## The Fuzzy Furry (18 June 2014)

Oh my goodness, I had some lessons from her a long long time ago back in the 70's when on the PC stressage team. Hard taskmaster but lovely lady 
RIP Esme


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## pines of rome (18 June 2014)

I remember her from my pony club days, what a great age she got to!


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## Archangel (18 June 2014)

Amazing woman.


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## Dunlin (19 June 2014)

A blast from the past, when I was first learning to ride and showed an interest in dressage I was told about Esmé and my father managed to arrange for me to have schoolmaster lessons with her on her dressage horse called Waltz. She was an incredible woman and taught me a lot not only about riding but life, I really enjoyed spending time with her and a few lessons turned into me going there every week for a year. I remember she was very surprised when we bought her a Christmas present, she seemed really taken back by it, I don't think she ever realised how liked and appreciated she was, a very humble lady. Sad to hear she has died.


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## Ladyinred (19 June 2014)

When I saw the name  knew that I had met her but couldnt remember how until I read the obit. My Grandparents knew her when she lived in Storrington and I met her as a teenager and was too over-awed to say anything!


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## madlady (19 June 2014)

What an amazing lady.


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## bluedanube (20 June 2014)

Thanks Doritos,

Really interesting Obit. Especially the part about creating the Kur.


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## whizzkid (27 June 2014)

She was an amazing lady.  I worked for her and lived in her house with her for over 3 years from 1988, when I was in my early 20's.
I had my own horse there and passed my BHS exams.
She was a complete eccentric and even in her 70's, she would still be climbing up tall ladders to clean out the gutters on the indoor school and she drove her car like a mad demon!
When I first arrived, I realised that everything I had learnt before was completely irrelevant.  She was obsessed with good hands and never wanted to see pupils pulling on the horses mouth (especially using inside rein to turn).  She made most new pupils ride in a bitless bridle which was just like a dropped noseband without a bit, even jumping on the crosscountry course.  All riders had a neck strap at all times, plus pommel straps (plaited shoelaces) were attached to all the saddles.
Woe betide you ever hurt a horse in any way whatsoever, she was so fussy about the tiniest detail, even leading horses out of their stables dead straight so that they did not catch their hips.  She could make you feel very small and sometimes reduced people to tears, but everything she did was for the good of the horse.  She was known as a difficult person to work for and some people came and only lasted a few days!
But my happiest times there were when she took me on my own with her to see various wonderful trainers with the TTT (Teachers Training of Tomorrow Trust). She loved Arthur Kottas (Spanish Riding School), Kalman de Jurenak and Charles de Kunffy.  Another time she took me to Badminton on crosscountry day and we got let in by the house and didn't have to pay - she knew the right people.
At the time, I didn't always appreciate, as a young girl, what she was drumming in to me - basics basics - I wanted to be learning all the clever stuff - flying changes and passage, but it wasn't like that.  It's only now all those years later that I understand the bigger picture.
I could tell you so many stories and bore you all night, but I won't.  It would be interesting if there are any other old working pupils and grooms out there - I know one wrote into the H & H letters page this week.
I was very fond of Mrs Jack (as we always had to call her) - she was one of a kind!


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## fburton (28 June 2014)

Thanks for the reminiscences, wk - amazing lady indeed.


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## Michaela W-V (28 June 2014)

I was a small child when I met this amazing lady. She taught my Dad, a simple motor mechanic to ride. She was so unconventional, but seemed to relish a blank canvas and taught him the "right way", balance and position vital before he could have reins. Still to this day 40 years on he quotes "Mrs Jack". She shared her love and passion to all my family. He had the privilege to ride one of her top horses. Telling him only she and Harry Boldt had ever ridden this horse. She used different techniques to improve balance- two small glasses of cherry brandy in each hand- in order to teach quiet steady hands-the cherry brandy left was able to be drunk at the end of the lesson- Incentive indeed!!
I look at today's modern elevator bridle- She used to with many horses, put the nose band head strap, under the brow band, to lie across the poll over the top of the headpiece all to improve comfort for the horse. Everytime I use my elevator I think about her. 
She seemed to do anything to improve her skill- back in the 70's the craze of skateboards came in, so she borrowed my little brothers skateboard to use for a week or two to improve balance. The sight of her an elderly lady immaculate swept up hair, clipped accent, and rich red brown polished boots, on a red skateboard will always be in my mind.
Back in the 70's mirrors lined her sand school, in the last decade these have become more commonplace- but in the 70's this was so rare.
The legacy she left with my family is that with horses when things aren't going well- you reflect and look at what you as a mere human can change to improve the comfort for the horse- as comfort often improved performance. 
She thought out of the box, a true lady


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## Alec Swan (28 June 2014)

Never mind The Telegraph obituary,  this thread is a far more honest appraisal of the woman and her legacy,  first time contributors too!  I don't care from where you hail,  your reminiscences are of far greater worth,  I feel sure.

A remarkable woman by all accounts,  and I'm only sorry that I never had the benefit of her thoughts and teaching.

Alec.


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## whizzkid (29 June 2014)

Thank you for sharing Michaela -the skateboard - that was so typical Mrs J. - she was totally bonkers in the nicest possible way.  You're so right - she used to employ any methods to improve rider's balance and comfort for the horse.
I will never forget when she returned from Stoneleigh one day, having seen one of the first vaulting displays (on horseback) and on a whim, she bought a voltige roller (which is like a huge anti-cast roller) because she thought that it would be an excellent tool to improve our balance and seat.  Vaulting is done in canter with the horse on the lunge and she tacked up one of the livery horses for us to have a go on as she thought he had a nice steady canter - the only problem was that he was a mere 18.2hh and us 3 girls were 5'2"ish!  She expected us to be able to leap on from the ground as he cantered round.  I think that if she hadn't by then been in her 70's and quite arthritic, she would have leapt on herself.
Are there any more people who've got some lovely anecdotes to share?


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## Maisie2 (30 June 2014)

Wow that certainly is a blast from the past for me, I didn't even realise she was still alive!  I kept my horse in Coldwaltham in the late 60s and remember having regular lessons with her, although tbh I didn't realise she was such an icon .   Mrs Jack  was certainly a 'character' and the lessons were invaluable.  RIP Mrs Jack.


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## Archangel (30 June 2014)

I was due to start as a working pupil back in 1978 and but changed my mind (could kick myself now) and  went into stud work. What a missed opportunity, a case of the road not taken. 

I remember being shown a horse called Playlord.  36 years later I can still picture him!


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## beachdonkey (16 July 2014)

I was rescued by Mrs Jack (I only felt I could call her Esme during the last 20 years, never when I was young. She gave me unwitting sanctuary when I desperately needed it and as a result I have a love of Aga's and big comfy chinz covered chairs. I never got to like her taste in Whisky though! I love the reply by Whizz Kid because if you are Karen, I remember you well.  If not, what  you say still rings a lot of bells because that's exactly how she was. Everything was for the horses. I remember getting a huge telling off because I killed a mixy rabbit. Not for killing the rabbit but for using the horses' heavy wooden feed spoon to do it! As you say, everything she taught us stays with me. I can remember it took me a log time to get out of the corner of the indoor arena at Coldwaltham. I was stuck because I wasn't allowed to use the 'outside rein'. It was Opportunist who was taking the mickey at the time although Puss wasn't much better to me. However the horse I really loved was a tall grey called Icy.  Very special. And that reminds me, I used to eat my bread and butter in his stable - the shavings were immaculate. Perish the thought any of us would leave a 'poo' in a stable more than a few minutes. that's a habit I cannot lose. There are many stories I could tell from over the years of being in touch with her but some are very private and others, well I don't know which to choose. However I didn't just learn about horses from her, she taught me some life lessons too. Including the danger of having too much imagination. "Just get on with it dear. Stop thinking about it or you will never live any sort of life (and that was about learning how to jump!)".


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## beachdonkey (16 July 2014)

lovely Michaela - I used to get the whisky/cherry brandy treatment but I hated the stuff. I drunk it though - and I was very young and unused to alcohol so it would go straight to my head. Not that I dare let on but it certainly 'relaxed my seat' which was why she gave it to me. Around the 'relaxing' period she found a horse for me to work on myself. Odette. Bay, pretty as a picture - retired at about 10 because of a spinal injury. Between us we got that horse going, and with the help of one of the early horse physios and she ended up qualifying for Wembly as a show hack. A lot of whisky was necessary to get me relaxed enough to work that mare properly!  Honoured to have shared a small part of her life. She was always a role model to me.


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## MotherOfChickens (17 July 2014)

she sounds awesome and I particularly love this quote below 



beachdonkey said:



			. "Just get on with it dear. Stop thinking about it or you will never live any sort of life (and that was about learning how to jump!)".
		
Click to expand...


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## Grumpy Herbert (30 July 2014)

Have only just read this lovely thread and the obit. - what a remarkable lady she was!  They don't make them like that any more, more's the pity.


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## whizzkid (5 August 2014)

Hi Beachdonkey.  Sorry I've only just read your post.  No - I'm not Karen.  There wasn't anyone called Karen at Mrs J's whilst I was there (1988 to 1991).
But I do remember the horses you mention - dear old "Puss" and "Icy".  Puss was in her mid thirties and obviously had Cushings as she always had a long curly coat even in the summer.  I never rode her - she only did a couple of very slow lessons a week by then - I would have loved to have known her when she was young.  I was told that she was the first horse to ever set foot on the Goodwood International Grass arena (to test it out!).
Icy was a thoroughbred in his mid-twenties and still very active - I rode him many times, however he was 17.2hh and had such gangly long legs that he would sometimes cross them and fall over.  He was a super ride and lovely to jump, but he became very grouchy in the stable and quite dangerous at times.  After I left, I heard that he was put down due to a brain tumour (which would explain a lot).
I had to laugh at "getting stuck in the corner" - as that was a regular occurrence for people at Coldwaltham House (especially newbies).  I'm sure Mrs Jack had taught some of the horses to be adept at making one look a fool - Icy and another horse called "Toby" were particularly good at this!!  But I was able to get my own back on Wednesday mornings, when we had practice teaching group lessons (for the prelim teaching) and Mrs J would ride Icy and I would teach her - of course I know she was riding deliberately badly so that I had something to correct, but it was a little satisfying to see her unable to turn up the centre line and to have her leg scraped against the wall for once!
I must say, I'm quite jealous - because I never had the cherry brandy treatment that everyone keeps mentioning!!
Lovely to hear your memories.


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## Alec Swan (5 August 2014)

What a heart warming,  and thoroughly 'comfortable' thread this is turning out to be!!  It just reinforces my belief that I was the poorer for never having met her.

Alec.


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