# Changing a cat's behaviour



## SEL (3 December 2018)

Her ladyship has decided that 3:30am every morning it is time to climb into bed with her human for a cuddle. I wouldn't mind if she lay quietly at the end of the bed, but she lies on me, purrs loudly, dribbles a lot and pokes her paws up my nose regularly to get some attention. If I kick her off she returns at 4:30 and 5:30.......

I would really like some sleep. We tried closing the bedroom door, but she just scratched and yelled outside it until I gave up. The rest of the house is open plan so no downstairs doors to shut.

Any ideas???? I don't think she's hungry, just bored and wanting some attention. Obviously she can then sleep all day whilst the human with bags under her eyes stares sleepily at spreadsheets.

Have a photo - basically fluff with paws.


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## Shady (3 December 2018)

Oh dear , i feel your pain
I was going to say she may be cold but then i saw the photo!!! bloody gorgeous cat by the way
Does she live alone? if so a kitten might stop this, single cats, if they love you will often crave attention and remember, night time or early dawn is hunting time so she doesn't really want to sleep so you are fair game!!
If you really, really don't give in she will get fed up eventually but of course you could be dead from exhaustion by then.
 Is she an indoor cat ? both? is she in every night?, if in at night she is probably bored and lonely or it could just be a seasonal change and may stop. Cats are weird things , they can pick something they do, or a place they sit and do that for months , then suddenly stop or move to another' special' spot and never do it again.


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## The Fuzzy Furry (3 December 2018)

We have a new rescue cat of just over 5 weeks, he's a 7 kilo lithe fluffy thing, now known as shouty cat....

He bangs on our bedroom door for attention when he 'thinks' we should be up, then if either of us bellow at him, he shouts back & gets very noisy with his shouting!!!... Like you, we have no way of shutting him downstairs, as he hops over the baby gate. He's able to come and go at will through cat flap now.
I've found that by putting a full bowl of biscuits out for him on the landing when I go to bed, is helping, delaying the 20-30 min banging on the door from 4 or 5am to a rather sensible 6.15 over the past 4 mornings....

ps: love your fluffy cat


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## SEL (3 December 2018)

Shady, FF - thank you. She is a complete ball of fluff isn't she? Hard to imagine that she was bald when she first adopted me as a stray! A lot less of a diva then as well..... I'm glad mine isn't the only one that shouts at her humans FF!!

She might be cold actually because her favourite winter spot is under the radiator in the bathroom (you should see the look on her face if you actually need to use it for a shower.....). I might try moving her favourite fleece by the radiator overnight and seeing if that delays her morning alarm call. Biscuits by the bed I can also do - in fact I'm so flippin tired today I'd try anything!

She does have a cat flap and can come and go as she wishes, but I just don't think she's impressed by winter. We barely see her in summer and usually only then when she has caught a mouse she wants to share with us. I don't think she'd tolerate a kitten because despite her small size and cute looks she beats up the neighbours cats if they dare to stray into her territory. Those are the times I remember she survived as a stray until she found a gullible human.

I'm coming back as a cat in my next life. Send your humans out to work, snuggle in next to the radiator and sleep until you want some food. Then sleep again. Right now that sounds like my perfect life.


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## Shady (3 December 2018)

SEL said:



			Shady, FF - thank you. She is a complete ball of fluff isn't she? Hard to imagine that she was bald when she first adopted me as a stray! A lot less of a diva then as well..... I'm glad mine isn't the only one that shouts at her humans FF!!

She might be cold actually because her favourite winter spot is under the radiator in the bathroom (you should see the look on her face if you actually need to use it for a shower.....). I might try moving her favourite fleece by the radiator overnight and seeing if that delays her morning alarm call. Biscuits by the bed I can also do - in fact I'm so flippin tired today I'd try anything!

She does have a cat flap and can come and go as she wishes, but I just don't think she's impressed by winter. We barely see her in summer and usually only then when she has caught a mouse she wants to share with us. I don't think she'd tolerate a kitten because despite her small size and cute looks she beats up the neighbours cats if they dare to stray into her territory. Those are the times I remember she survived as a stray until she found a gullible human.

I'm coming back as a cat in my next life. Send your humans out to work, snuggle in next to the radiator and sleep until you want some food. Then sleep again. Right now that sounds like my perfect life.
		
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Lol, you will hear her crunching those little beggars all night!! put them in the bathroom !
Try the fleece  back there too, direct her back to it as well.
Other cats are the enemy but a kitten starts as something to be scared and pissed off with and then hopefully becomes a friend! The only thing i usually stipulate is that you make sure the older cat is not so pissed off they stay out too much, roam further than they should or would normally do and get run over or hurt. Getting them to play is THE key to quick integration!
I have banned my cats from the bedroom. 6 on top of my head is a little much!! xx
 Edited to say, try settling her first before contemplating a kitten!!


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## FinnishLapphund (3 December 2018)

Maybe play with her to make her more tired before going to bed.

Buy lots of mechanical toys so she can entertain herself with them during the night. The more expensive the better, like a Roomba. Of course with the risk of that she will either not find them amusing/won't play with them alone/still demands cuddles with you after playing with them.

Shady's suggestion about a kitten sounds like a good idea, if things continue this way. Although, since cats are cats, it could lead to that they'll both wake you up. I've heard that for some cats it works better if you get a dog, rather than a second cat. 

As a spin-off idea from The Fuzzy Furry's talk about food diversion, could you perhaps try dividing up her daily food portions in several small ones, so that you could put out several food bowls at different locations in the house, thereby making her work a little to find her food?

She looks gorgeous <3


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## PapaverFollis (3 December 2018)

I have no idea. I'm pretty much under the impression that cats do whatever they like and there's nothing you can do about it. ðŸ˜‚ She's a gorgeous fluff though.


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## Always-Riding (3 December 2018)

Ahh I feel your pain! My cat has also decided to start waking me up at 3am for her breakfast and then again 2 hours later for cuddles... I'm thinking it's a seasonal change as she normally wakes me up around 6-7am.

We shall see what happens, but I too need my sleep!!


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## Shady (3 December 2018)

FinnishLapphund said:



			Maybe play with her to make her more tired before going to bed.

Buy lots of mechanical toys so she can entertain herself with them during the night. The more expensive the better, like a Roomba. Of course with the risk of that she will either not find them amusing/won't play with them alone/still demands cuddles with you after playing with them.

Shady's suggestion about a kitten sounds like a good idea, if things continue this way. Although, since cats are cats, it could lead to that they'll both wake you up. I've heard that for some cats it works better if you get a dog, rather than a second cat.

As a spin-off idea from The Fuzzy Furry's talk about food diversion, could you perhaps try dividing up her daily food portions in several small ones, so that you could put out several food bowls at different locations in the house, thereby making her work a little to find her food?

She looks gorgeous <3
		
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I'll just pick up something FL has noted , you have an open plan downstairs yes? it is very possible that 2 cats will do zoomies all night ,then come charging into your bedroom and use your head for a launch platform
Just sayin....!!!
xxx


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## SEL (3 December 2018)

Shady said:



			I'll just pick up something FL has noted , you have an open plan downstairs yes? it is very possible that 2 cats will do zoomies all night ,then come charging into your bedroom and use your head for a launch platform
Just sayin....!!!
xxx
		
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OMG we've already nicknamed her "Thunder of tiny paws" because when she's having a mad moment and galloping around upstairs it sounds like one of the horses is loose up there!! I am pretty sure if I introduce a kitten there will be double trouble 

I'm not convinced about leaving toys out by the bathroom. I have visions of a loud miaow when she decides the humans need to play NOW (3 am), but a plate of biscuits won't cause too much less when I trip over them in the morning. 



PapaverFollis said:



			I have no idea. I'm pretty much under the impression that cats do whatever they like and there's nothing you can do about it. ðŸ˜‚ She's a gorgeous fluff though.
		
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She's knows she's beautiful.... that's why she gets away with beating up the neighbour's cats.  My OH is of the same view that she'll do what she wants until she gets bored - but he doesn't have paws stuck up his nostrils at 3am


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## Sussexbythesea (3 December 2018)

Iâ€™d grab her squash her every time she does it so she canâ€™t move and give her lots of kisses going mwah mwah mwah until sheâ€™s really had enough. Unless of course she likes that? ðŸ˜

One of mine likes to knead my hair and suck my ear in the middle of the night but Iâ€™ve just got used to it ðŸ˜‚


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## Umbongo (3 December 2018)

I could have written this....and my advice is to get used to it! 

my cat is nearly 18 and is exactly the same. I have tried everything over the years, and he is only getting worse as he becomes older and more needy


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## ihatework (3 December 2018)

Just be glad yours doesnâ€™t protest pee on the duvet when you ignore requests for food & attention ....

Thankfully I have a door between downstairs and upstairs


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## HashRouge (3 December 2018)

PapaverFollis said:



			I have no idea. I'm pretty much under the impression that cats do whatever they like and there's nothing you can do about it. ðŸ˜‚ She's a gorgeous fluff though.
		
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This!

We always shut our cats downstairs overnight but sounds like that isn't an option for you! If I'm ever at home and the parents are away I tend to leave the downstairs door open as the cat often gets on my bed at about 5am and just goes to sleep, which I really like (he's often out for much of the night). But last time I was home and did this, he insisted that I get up at 5am as he wanted something. I had to go downstairs and shake his food bowl to satisfy him (this always happens - he will have biscuits in his bowl but doesn't even bother looking, so comes and demands food and you have to "show" him whats in the bowl!).


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## Crazy_cat_lady (3 December 2018)

I have no advice to offer as one of mine takes great joy in shrieking in the night it's like a badly programmed alarm clock!

But wanted to say she is gorgeous all that floof!! Is she a forest cat or similar?


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## Crazy_cat_lady (3 December 2018)

I would also say don't give in mine gets a shhh or just ignored when the shrieking starts he usually gets the message although a couple of times it's started up again later on, again he's ignored.

House sat someone's cat in the summer, I tried the ignore tactic as I refused to set a precedent,  food had been left down etc. One time he was outside the window and for 2 hours he sat outside this window shouting and banging to get in, I kept telling OH don't get up for him as he had a perfectly functioning cat flap he knew exactly how to use he will give up. Nope after 2 hours of continually meowing OH let him in through the window. I would have understood if he didn't have a cat flap etc no he just wanted the window opened for him.

Another time before i had the idea of leaving a fresh pouch down for him before going to bed, he kept coming into the bedroom clawing the bed, bashing into the blinds to make them bash against the window,  leaping and biting your head,  running and smashing onto you in the bed. Again OH got up for him. After that I declared he be shut in the kitchen  on a night with his food and access to outside as like you I couldn't deal with spreadsheet and so sleep deprived!

When his owner returned one advised ear plugs are very effective,  the other admitted they get up for him. I guessed that i am very much a cat person but this sorely tested my patience as it was so persistent it even made me miss the shrieking ðŸ˜‚

My ragdoll used to roar round the house if having a mad moment hearing him launch off something was quite alarming if you were downstairs!! Now we have the kitten and both of them go roaring,  up and down the stairs crashing through the rustly tunnel they do circuits it's hilarious but the noise is something else when they really get going would love to get a video clip of them in full flight ðŸ˜‚


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## Shady (3 December 2018)

Crazy_cat_lady said:



			I would also say don't give in mine gets a shhh or just ignored when the shrieking starts he usually gets the message although a couple of times it's started up again later on, again he's ignored.

House sat someone's cat in the summer, I tried the ignore tactic as I refused to set a precedent,  food had been left down etc. One time he was outside the window and for 2 hours he sat outside this window shouting and banging to get in, I kept telling OH don't get up for him as he had a perfectly functioning cat flap he knew exactly how to use he will give up. Nope after 2 hours of continually meowing OH let him in through the window. I would have understood if he didn't have a cat flap etc no he just wanted the window opened for him.

Another time before i had the idea of leaving a fresh pouch down for him before going to bed, he kept coming into the bedroom clawing the bed, bashing into the blinds to make them bash against the window,  leaping and biting your head,  running and smashing onto you in the bed. Again OH got up for him. After that I declared he be shut in the kitchen  on a night with his food and access to outside as like you I couldn't deal with spreadsheet and so sleep deprived!

When his owner returned one advised ear plugs are very effective,  the other admitted they get up for him. I guessed that i am very much a cat person but this sorely tested my patience as it was so persistent it even made me miss the shrieking ðŸ˜‚

My ragdoll used to roar round the house if having a mad moment hearing him launch off something was quite alarming if you were downstairs!! Now we have the kitten and both of them go roaring,  up and down the stairs crashing through the rustly tunnel they do circuits it's hilarious but the noise is something else when they really get going would love to get a video clip of them in full flight ðŸ˜‚
		
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Wow, that is impressive manipulation!!!!!
An active Ragdoll? I would love to see them! the only one's iv'e ever known were as lazy and as floppy as their name ( love them by the way)
My mum had fussy eaters, she must have kept Waitrose going for years on the money she spent on them. I stayed with her for a week once and iv'e never seen anybody run around so much after a bunch of sneaky little exploiters  who weren't even that hungry. 
Wet food and a big bowl of dried food goes down in my house and they eat it or go without!


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## Crazy_cat_lady (3 December 2018)

Hopefully I'm quoting you correctly Shady!

I know all these reports about ragdolls being docile these 2 aren't! They are also massively destructive unfortunately kitten has already worked out which part of the carpet the older one had managed to pull out from under the runner so now isn't as securely fastened ðŸ™„ 

Yep 2 hours, had I had nothing to do the next day and been on my own I'd have been tempted to see how long it went on for and if he would eventually given in, I'd have completely understood if the cat flap was locked or stuck etc nope it wasn't surely it was less effort for him to go use that than keep meowing loudly at the window.

Haha the raggies are fussy too, know what you mean about keeping Waitrose going my older one keeps applawse going! He will act as if he'd desperately hungry (he also has ab lib dry food) so you'll serve him a pouch at the time of day he usually has one. If he doesn't fancy it he either doesn't even look at it and flees dramatically jumping onto and over the kitchen unit for added emphasis. If he's really keen to show his disgust he will dig at the floor next to the food because you have obviously served him up such complete and utter s*** it needs covering like he would in his litter tray as obviously you know that is where it should be it's that awful. 
We've tried cutting out the pouch but he acts so starving he usually manipulates my mum into serving one to him as he just sits in the middle of the kitchen when she's trying to cook.

Unfortunately he has a sensitive tummy or I'd be tempted to serve him the cheapest Tesco value food or similar just to see his reaction as I'm.pretty sure he would gobble it up. He won't even go near the kittens raw food and if you give him a bit of roast scraps e.g. beef chicken etc he has to spend about 5 minutes sniffing it for poison,  then licking it before finally condescending to take it from you!


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## PapaverFollis (4 December 2018)

I think my favourite ever yard cat (who I miss â˜¹) might have been a rag doll. He was floofy and gorgeous and was all floppy when you picked him up, occasionally he would lie down in puddles and I don't think he did much mousing (he had a ginger friend who did all the hard work). I know very little about cats though. I don't think I have a picture either. â˜¹ he was the best cat, looked like a little cloud with blue eyes.


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## Shady (4 December 2018)

Crazy_cat_lady said:



			Hopefully I'm quoting you correctly Shady!

I know all these reports about ragdolls being docile these 2 aren't! They are also massively destructive unfortunately kitten has already worked out which part of the carpet the older one had managed to pull out from under the runner so now isn't as securely fastened ðŸ™„

Yep 2 hours, had I had nothing to do the next day and been on my own I'd have been tempted to see how long it went on for and if he would eventually given in, I'd have completely understood if the cat flap was locked or stuck etc nope it wasn't surely it was less effort for him to go use that than keep meowing loudly at the window.

Haha the raggies are fussy too, know what you mean about keeping Waitrose going my older one keeps applawse going! He will act as if he'd desperately hungry (he also has ab lib dry food) so you'll serve him a pouch at the time of day he usually has one. If he doesn't fancy it he either doesn't even look at it and flees dramatically jumping onto and over the kitchen unit for added emphasis. If he's really keen to show his disgust he will dig at the floor next to the food because you have obviously served him up such complete and utter s*** it needs covering like he would in his litter tray as obviously you know that is where it should be it's that awful.
We've tried cutting out the pouch but he acts so starving he usually manipulates my mum into serving one to him as he just sits in the middle of the kitchen when she's trying to cook.

Unfortunately he has a sensitive tummy or I'd be tempted to serve him the cheapest Tesco value food or similar just to see his reaction as I'm.pretty sure he would gobble it up. He won't even go near the kittens raw food and if you give him a bit of roast scraps e.g. beef chicken etc he has to spend about 5 minutes sniffing it for poison,  then licking it before finally condescending to take it from you!
		
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Oh my god!!! I really shouldn't laugh but the whole burying the shit food I can really relate to! sometimes if you just leave it they will come back and look at it pitifully like they can't believe it's the same shite you tried to foist on them before!
 Destructive cats are the pits. Iv'e got a door frame scratcher and I am going to have to do some serious reconstructive surgery on it soon or replace the whole thing!
I'm thinking Ragdolls have clearly changed a lot over the years!! xx


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## Chippers1 (4 December 2018)

You could try getting an automatic feeder that's set for certain times when she wakes up? that might keep her interested! 
I have a ragdoll too, he's mostly lazy and will sleep next to me all night but occasionally (like last night!) decides he needs to get up for a poo and needs to tell me about it....


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## PapaverFollis (4 December 2018)

I feel I should point out that as far as I know my rag doll yard cat buddy is still alive (my post made him sound deceased, he's not! ) we just relocated. And I miss the cat. ðŸ˜‚


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## Crazy_cat_lady (4 December 2018)

Maybe it's just me with mental ragdolls though my friend who I've unfortunately lost touch with used to say his were naughty too ðŸ˜‚


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## SEL (4 December 2018)

Umbongo said:



			I could have written this....and my advice is to get used to it! 

my cat is nearly 18 and is exactly the same. I have tried everything over the years, and he is only getting worse as he becomes older and more needy 

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Excellent. She's just 8 so many, many more years of being pestered at 3am then.

She's got food down overnight - but I don't think she's hungry, just bored and after a cuddle.

She is another with a cat flap who really can't understand why she should walk round to it when she can stand outside the front door and yell loudly.

No idea on breed. She's got a double coat and its very thick - like a little snow leopard last winter when we had a few inches on the ground. She's much, much smaller than the forest cats though. Our neighbours were looking after their relatives Norwegian forest cat who is supposed to be a house cat. It decided it wanted to explore outside and we found a huge grey ball of fluff looking through our patio windows at our small grey ball of fluff. I was glad the glass was there because small ball of fluff was miffed that he was in her garden and I don't think he would have stood a chance!!


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## MagicMelon (4 December 2018)

How about putting up a baby gate somewhere to keep her in one room at the other end of the house (with her bed and somewhere cosy, food, water in it obviously).  Baby gates are handy, especially the ones with bars coming down as cats cant squeeze between the bars and they have nothing to scratch on either.  One of my cats would LOVE to come to sleep under the duvet with me at night and she could IF she didnt also regularly enjoy scratching the carpet which creates a lot of noise in the middle of the night waking me up and my 2 young children whose rooms are right beside ours!  To begin with she would scratch at the door several times during the night for ages, she was damaging the door. I put up a baby gate at the other end of that room so she couldnt get to the door anymore and I gave her an old single duvet on the sofa so she had somewhere cosy to sleep - she very rarely scratches anymore


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## SEL (5 December 2018)

Hmmm. That fluffy grey lump of mine can jump a 6 ft fence from a standstill. One contact point 1/2 way up then she's on the top admiring her territory. A baby gate would probably just trip me up - she'd hop it in a flash!

Love her but right now I really want an undisturbed night's sleep!


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## chaps89 (8 December 2018)

She is gorgeous OP. Not that that helps being woken up at 3am feel any better!

I actually reached desperation levels with my cat who would do this. Purr purr purr right by my ear and little nudges from 3am onwards. And woe betide shutting him out the bedroom - he just sat and scraped at the door persistently. (My old house mate made the 'anti-Oscar device' for outside his bedroom door - and old framed poster wrapped in a blanket propped up against the door to stop him doing it!) 
I was almost contemplating seeing if my parents could have him for a little while so I could get some sleep and see if we could break the cycle.

We then moved house (bearing in mind he had done it at the previous 3 places we'd lived at) and I made a rule he wasn't allowed on the bed at all. 
He has a radiator bed that is on the radiator at the foot of our bed and that's where he goes. I make a point of making sure he has a good period of time on my lap having cuddles each night too- actually nights where I get in late and he doesn't have this he's more likely to try to come on the bed.
That along with a handful of biscuits at bed time and not feeding him as the very first thing I did when I got up seemed to break the cycle. Sleep feels so good!

Clearly moving house isn't feasible but I wonder if changing some of your routine or habits would help. Have you tried a feliway too?


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## SEL (8 December 2018)

Haven't tried feliway - we've got a plug in somewhere, hadn't thought of it. Might be worth a try. ANYTHING is worth a try right now! Wonders if moving house is an option.....

We've got quite a lot of fox activity in the paddock behind the house so I'm thinking that might be the problem. It used to be a sort of small holding until the owner sold out to a developer and its all over grown while he's trying to get planning. She's not going out at night very much now so I think 3am cuddles are entertainment. *yawn*


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## Aru (15 December 2018)

Your all such nice owners compare to me 

My kitten decided on this at around 6 months of age. A few rounds of water pistols and being told to bugger off instead of the cuddles she was demanding as a response made her decide I wasn't worth waking to play with. She now appears the moment I show signs of life and we have cuddles at the time I decide was appropriate (can you tell I really love my sleep)

You need to stop rewarding and enforcing the behaviour if you want it to stop. 

All the other suggestions of food wearing down energy etc are excellent btw...but still wont stop her from training you to entertain her at 3am when she takes the notion.


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## npage123 (15 December 2018)

Haha, love reading about all your cats and their antics.

OP your fluffy cat is gorgeous!! Would it work if you pull the duvet firmly over your head so she can't have access to your face?  Only until she gives up trying to play with you and find something else to do, maybe play with your OH, lol!

(If it was me I'd be glad about the night-time interaction and have cuddles and a bit of a play, e.g. kitty, find my wriggling finger poking out of the duvet at random places.  They soon either start sleeping cuddled up to my neck and face, or get bored and find a more interesting game in another room.)


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## SEL (18 December 2018)

Luckily she seems to have got bored of 3am cuddles - she's taken to sleeping halfway up the stairs and for some reason that is more comfy. I am NOT getting a water pistol out at 3am to put her off!! I'd rather do the hide under the duvet and try and stay asleep suggestion.

I do think she's worse if she hasn't had any attention in the evening, so I'm trying to make sure she gets her 10 minutes of play time even if I'm shattered.


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## Red-1 (18 December 2018)

To the poster who suggested buying a Roomba to keep the cat occupied, I suggest you read this about the Poopocalypse!!! It has happened to several people. 

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/aug/15/roomba-robot-vacuum-poopocalypse-facebook-post


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## Shady (18 December 2018)

Red-Nose said:



			To the poster who suggested buying a Roomba to keep the cat occupied, I suggest you read this about the Poopocalypse!!! It has happened to several people.

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/aug/15/roomba-robot-vacuum-poopocalypse-facebook-post

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OMG
The diagram is priceless!
Apparently they are trying to create poop detection technology!
I often find little chug nuts on the floor that haven't quite landed in the dirt box, I would not want to find them smeared all over my favourite rug!!
 Sel
Half way up the stairs is a classic!!! especially when you are half asleep xxx


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## BeckyFlowers (18 December 2018)

Shady said:



			OMG
The diagram is priceless!
Apparently they are trying to create poop detection technology!
I often find little chug nuts on the floor that haven't quite landed in the dirt box, I would not want to find them smeared all over my favourite rug!!
Sel
Half way up the stairs is a classic!!! especially when you are half asleep xxx
		
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I don't know what I'm LOLing at more - the article or "chug nuts"


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