# Niece's first riding lesson - advice on kid-wrangling!



## Pippity (13 February 2013)

My niece has been going on about wanting riding lessons and, seeing as my riding school takes them from aged four, I've got her a lesson as a fourth birthday present.

Nieceling's parents are completely unhorsey so I'm going to be on lead rein/niece-wrangling duty. The trouble is - I'm completely unkiddy! I have no idea what I'm supposed to do when they start whingeing and acting up! (And Nieceling is pretty spoiled, so usually whinges at some point. And bursts into tears when told off.)

I'm assuming I'm not allowed to just kick her on or give her a tap with the whip when she objects to something? Can I reward her with polos for being good?

HEEEELP!


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## Tammytoo (13 February 2013)

It's very difficult when it's somebody else's child!  Rather than telling her off and getting a tantrum try giving choices.  Obviously a good choice and a bad (for her) choice.  

For example   "If you don't want to wear a riding hat, you must sit and watch the lesson, but if you wear the riding hat you can have a ride.  Which one would you like to do?"  If she ends up watching the lesson and then changes her mind about wearing a hat and wants to ride, let her.    

The trick is to make the alternative something she really doesn't want, then she only has herself to blame whatever she choses.  Don't give in - last resort is "do you want to do this properly or do you want me to take you home?"

Above all keep calm and don't try bribery!


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## mirage (13 February 2013)

My two have been riding since they were 4,so I've had years of child wrangling practice.

My favourite,and I've used it to good effect on visiting children too,is to have a little talk before we start going anywhere near the ponies.I get down to their level and tell them that if there is one thing ponies hate,it is screaming,crying children.I say that it frightens them,isn't safe and if there is any carrying on like that,I will remove them immediately and they won't get back on until they've calmed down.

I have never had to carry out my threat,but possibly that is because I am scarey mummy.


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## Natti (14 February 2013)

I love working with kids it's great fun, however the best thing you can do, as mirage has said, is to tell your niece exactly what is expected of her before going near the horses, (no yelling, kicking, screaming) and if anything does happen then there will be consequences. Also stick to your guns, if she had to get off the pony because she was being naughty don't let her back on just because she starts causing a fuss, this will show her that what she does doesn't really have any affect on what she can and can't do. If a tantrum is severely disrupting other people I would suggest taking her somewhere quiet and letting her calm down before explaining to her why she was there, why she shouldn't do x,y,z again and asking for an apology. Once she has said sorry you can carry on with what you were doing before.
 However, do remember to have fun and don't take everything all too seriously, if something happens that you don't think is acceptable turn it around as a joke to make it seem silly that she said/did it, this can help stop her doing things you don't want, or sometimes just a small chide, 'oh, no we don't pull horsies' tails, they don't like it!' etc. 
Wow, I've written a lot, also just wondering, will her parents be there to watch or not, because if so if something (eg, temper tantrum) does happen and she has to be taken off the pony it should then the parent's responsibility to do something about it on the ground. 
 These are just a few things that have worked for me, hope you have fun though, and remember to relax and enjoy it too!


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## satinbaze (14 February 2013)

Try operant conditioning....it works with the dogs!!!!!!!


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## Pippity (16 February 2013)

Thanks for the hints! Her lesson's on Thursday so we'll see how it goes...


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## mirage (16 February 2013)

Hope it goes well.Let us know!


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## Booboos (16 February 2013)

Why not let the RI set the tone and run the lesson (including behaviour around horses, mounting, and ridden work)? If they run regular children's lessons they must be aware of the possible problems and have a way of tackling them. The RI is likely to have more authority as well, especially if your niece is tantrumy with her parents, and you don't need to get in the middle of a disagreement. If she is a total horror you can simply remove her and try again when she's older.


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## Lothmorwel (21 February 2013)

I like the hints and tips here! I haven't any experience with totally novice kids but I have exerienced nervous mummies freaking their kids out before they get on (faffing over what-ifs and reminding child of the possibility of falling off!). Try and make sure the parents don't interfere, assign them to photo-taking or something!


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## HaffiesRock (21 February 2013)

If it helps, my niece who will be 3 in May soon cottoned onto the fact Autie Emma is where she gets her pony time and I ingrained it in her (quite firmly) that horses can be dangerous and she MUST behave otherwise she cant go again. The result is she is perfectly well behaved for me, but a swine for anyone else! x


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## Pippity (21 February 2013)

Well, after all that anxiety, Nieceling was almost perfectly behaved! It might have helped that she showed up in time to watch the end of my lesson. She was apparently very impressed and asked my mum if I was going to ride in the Olympics! Bless!

We had a little bit of stubborness when it came to dismounting (she wanted to swing her leg over the pony's neck) but I put on my Dealing With Naughty Ponies Voice, and she obeyed. As soon as she was back to her mum, she burst into tears, though. Brat.

She's definitely too young for regular lessons, though, so it's going to carry on being an occasional treat for now. (Possibly whenever I need the ego boost of somebody thinking I'm going to the Olympics! Even if it is a four-year-old!)


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## mirage (21 February 2013)

Oh well done! I'm a firm believer that horses and kids are both happier when they know what is expected of them and what the boundaries are.

Regarding the Olympics,well they do say 'out of the mouth of babes....'


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## Hawks27 (22 February 2013)

I'm not the most child friendly and use to teach tots to 11yr olds when i was younger, i have no patience for spoilt brat behaviour and won't tolerate anything that puts horses at risk. I make the rules very clear ebfore they go near the horses and also make it clear the consequences of breaking these rules. Also as am no softie and not into mollicoddling children i have no quarms about making them cry or feeling bad when they burst into tears when they don't get thier own way or do soething dnagerous and get told off. i evict them from my lessons and hand them back to the parents if they miss behave they get one 2nd chance when they calm down but once they've blown it they've blown ti with me i fear i am a little strict but the genuine sorts are fine and the posilt brats either snap out of it our go home and cry to mummy and i get a lecture from a peed off parent which does not bother me. ive been know to give the odd parent a lecture too


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