# You know you are horsey when...



## dressagelove (19 December 2011)

There are things that just means you are horsey, you know what I mean? I thought of a few today that I always think:

-You think your horse's feed looks and smells so good that you want to try it!

-It is satisfying and feels good to have dirty hands after being with the horses (just me?!)

-You ALWAYS have black fingernails...

-You bury your face in your horses mane and take a good sniff, cos they just smell so good, non horsey people think they stink! 

-You don't mind messing with horse poop, its the nicest kind of poop!

There are probs loads more, what are yours??


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## ClobellsandBaubles (19 December 2011)

when people do not recognise you when you are:
-clean
-minus straw/hay in hair
-not covered in mud/ green slobber/ sweat/ sand
-wearing hat/jods/ other yard clothes
-smelly
- look vaguely socially acceptable


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## lara b (19 December 2011)

You think its acceptable to wipe your horses nose with a tissue.. like a child..then accidentally use it yourself later :$:-D


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## attheponies (19 December 2011)

Helping to replace the divots at the polo, I had to resist a very strong urge to start poo picking!


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## LiveryList (19 December 2011)

... when you look at your bank account and its empty and you still have a £500 vet bill to pay lol


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## Luci07 (19 December 2011)

I agree with the people not recognising you when you look normal! I also love the smell of warm horse too....

How about nearly always running late for social stuff due to animals, and not able to understand people who have to FIND things to do at the weekend when you never have any spare time

Also - no longer going for the hangover from hell. It's not funny to le 1-2 precious free days feeling ill.!


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## tallyho! (19 December 2011)

When you start calling housework "mucking out"....

When you have to wade through wellies, muckers, coats, gloves.... just to get to the front door.

When you start commenting on quality of leatherwork on the high street, when shopping with friends.

In fact, friends don't invite you anywhere because you always turn up in muddy clobber and smell of mud.

Your hair-style is... actually, WHAT HAIRSTYLE????? Hair - in winter, lives under a permanent hat.


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## TheoryX1 (19 December 2011)

When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.

Ditto Asda carrier bags in the gutter.

Having three wardrobes - work, casual/going out and horsey. The horsey wardrobe is the biggest.

All the telephone numbers on your mobile are mainly horsey people/friends/contacts/farrier/vets etc.


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## Marydoll (19 December 2011)

When you'd rather go to the tackshop than clothes shops 
When a weekend at Blair sounds better than a weekend in paris


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## winkles (19 December 2011)

When you start to referring to parts of your body using horse anatomy terminology: "My stifle hurts"


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## BlizzardBudd (19 December 2011)

- when people are shocked to see you out of jods  or something connected to the horses
-your horse gets new shoes more often than you do. 
-every time you drive past a road works you think what nice jumps the barricades would make. 
-you consider a golf course as a waste of good pasture land. 
-your friends no longer ask to get together after school/work or on a weekend because they know you'll say, "I can't, I have to ride."
-your boyfriend complains that you love your horse more than you love him and you say: "And your point is..?"
-someone does something nice for you and you pat them on the neck and say 'good boy'. ...you try to get by someone is a restricted space and instead of saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck at them instead. 
-you show up for an appointment in your good clothes and when you get there people reach across the table to pick alfalfa out of your hair. 
-no one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay in their socks and on their clothes...but that's ok because you'll have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them anyway! 
-you look at all the piles of laundry sitting next to your washing machine and most of them are breeches, horse blankets, saddle pads, etc.... but you don't even care about the horsey hair residue that will be left in your washer and dryer. 
-you say "whoa" to the dog. 
-someone asks for a screwdriver and you hand them a hoof pick. 
.-you clean tack after every ride but you never, ever, wash the truck. 
-on rainy days, you organize the tack room, not the house.
-you can remember worming schedules, lessons, and farrier visits in your head, but often forget your class schedule, household chores, and meals. 
-you are unreasonably pleased to get a horse item, ANY horse item, as a gift. 
-books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references aren't correct.


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## bumblelion (19 December 2011)

You favour getting covered in hair, getting your horse clipped, than visiting the hairdresser yourself! When your horse has a fuller and better wardrobe than yourself, including boots! When your mother comes to visit and the first thing she does is Hoover the hay, straw from the carpets and Hoover you whilst she's at it!!


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## Jackson (19 December 2011)

When you find it acceptable to find pieces of straw and hay in your own bed.

When you watch any programme involving animals, you instantly pick up on all of the inaccuracies, a main one being trotting clipclop noises for a cantering horse and vice versa, and start explaining to your fellow viewers why it is so wrong, and how the producers were evidently so stupid.


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## bumblelion (19 December 2011)

Forgot to mention, more rugs of the horsey kind in the house (to be repaired!) than floor rugs!


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## Persephone (19 December 2011)

Clicking and Brrrping to move people around.


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## horsesatemymoney (19 December 2011)

Jackson said:



			When you find it acceptable to find pieces of straw and hay in your own bed.

When you watch any programme involving animals, you instantly pick up on all of the inaccuracies, a main one being trotting clipclop noises for a cantering horse and vice versa, and start explaining to your fellow viewers why it is so wrong, and how the producers were evidently so stupid.
		
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Haha, at least my OH knows I can't have an affair! The 'non barking dog' on TV also annoys me!

When your horse has better teeth/insides that work than you, as it has private dental and medical care.

You consider the construction of your day around horses- including avoiding taking jobs/engagements that might interrupt this.

Getting far too over excited about seeing a horse, in a horse-specific event, on TV, as there's never any on!

When you start to refer to your horses in the same way other people talk about their children


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## Feathered (19 December 2011)

You're horses have new shoes every 6 weeks but you can't remember the last time you bought yourself a new pair!


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## Black_Horse_White (19 December 2011)

When you are driving along the motorway going "nice horse box"


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## ClobellsandBaubles (19 December 2011)

TheoryX1 said:



			When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.

Ditto Asda carrier bags in the gutter.
		
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I pat my car when it gets to the top of a big hill.

Describing hot guys by their conformation and and movement


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## Lexie81 (19 December 2011)

When you click at your child\husband\friends to chivvy them along. Drives mine mad!
When its perfectly acceptable to spend the entire 6 weeks summer break in Jodhpurs and your husband then doesn't recognise you in septemer in your work clothes!


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## Feathered (19 December 2011)

Oh I have another one! When discussing Xmas presents at work, everyone else seems to want GHD hair straighteners, or smelliest and the like, whereas I'm chuffed to get wellies and a wheelbarrow! 

I also do the patting the car thing too, I had to go off road the other day to get round a parked lorry, my car got lots of pats and praise "aren't you such a good little car!"


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## Feathered (19 December 2011)

That was meant to be 'smellies' ... Stupid phone!


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## skydancer (19 December 2011)

when you hold your dogs lead like your holding a rein


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## TuscanBunnyGirl (19 December 2011)

when you count your strides when you walk..anywhere!... particularly pavement curbs, cracks in the road etc etc

and the sudden panic after eating too much sugar! Laminitis :O ...


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## DragonSlayer (19 December 2011)

mister-merlin said:



			When you start to referring to parts of your body using horse anatomy terminology: "My stifle hurts" 

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Oh yeah!

I gave meself a splint on me canon bone a few years ago...who knows what I'm talking about??


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## ClassicG&T (19 December 2011)

When your friends give up asking you to go out as your either at the horse or competing.

When most the storage space on your laptop is of horsey events.

You would rather have a new tweed coat than a new dress. 

Your delighted with a thick long pair of socks.

The favourite website saved on your computer is horseandhound.co.uk


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## ClassicG&T (19 December 2011)

skydancer said:



			when you hold your dogs lead like your holding a rein

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I do this. Then when he pulls i give him a squeeze or a half halt


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## Jackson (19 December 2011)

When you're walking the dog and you notice what leg they are on as they run.

When you analise your cats movement, and comment to your mysified non horsey friend that they would make an excellent dressage beast.

When you fall off and choose to climb back on even though you are bleeding and or have other damage going on because sorting your horse out is more important!

When you see people wearing fake horse clothes and feel horrified that people are using your every day yard wear for fashion purposes!

When you scrub your horses bit with your own toothbrush!!!


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## Megibo (19 December 2011)

* ALL OF THE ABOVE * 

especially these two... 



skydancer said:



			when you hold your dogs lead like your holding a rein

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wewillshowthemsantaclaus said:



			I do this. Then when he pulls i give him a squeeze or a half halt
		
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## Piglet (19 December 2011)

When you are always getting into work with seconds to spare due to having to muck out horse in winter and fly spraying and checking GG in summer.

When you look in your wardrobe and realize you have lots of horse clothes you bought recently but no recently bought social clothes.

When you don't bat an eye lid at paying £78 for a new set of shoes for GG every 6 weeks, but wince at paying £xx for a pair of shoes and £xx for a new outfit for a social function!!


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## SophieLouBee (19 December 2011)

When you look at high-street clothes that are horsey themed, fake jods, tops with horses on them, and think I can't wear those because I'd look like a wally. Even though nobody would know you actually had horses...


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## mhorses (19 December 2011)

when people dont recognise you without a riding helmet on. 
when you wear your muck boots more than anyother footwear.


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## ClassicG&T (19 December 2011)

When you get excited over putting a new rug on a horse or using a new bridle. 

And when your on holiday you wish you were back home in the saddle


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## VixieTrix (19 December 2011)

These a brill!! very funny  xx


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## sidesaddlegirl (19 December 2011)

When you work at a primary school and you tell the kids to "walk on" when they are lined up to go into class!


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## dafthoss (19 December 2011)

When you take the car for an MOT and the garage coments on how it smells of horse when you reliably inform them that there is nothing horsey in there (because you cleared it all out before dropping it off) and when you get in you cant smell any thing 

Oh and the rare time you manage to pin all your horsey friends down to go out you walk straight past them as you didnt recognise them .


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## TallulahBright (19 December 2011)

When you are totally, unutterably skint and you still can't wait to get to the yard for a scratch and to smell that smell....


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## Shantara (19 December 2011)

When your YO asks if you love a horse (that isn't even yours) more than your (now ex) boyfriend and without changing your expression, you say "Without a doubt"

When you get irritated by all these new 'fake' horse riding things. I almost asked a customer at work if she had a horse...then I noticed the lack of mud. 

When your arms around a horses neck, is better than your arms around a man.


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## ellieplatt (19 December 2011)

Being really chuffed when your dog does flying changes or 2 time changes!


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## Ginger Bear (19 December 2011)

When you like the smell of your horses breath.. Or when you tell the kids to 'stand' before crossing the road!! Lol - my mum used to do this to me or even call me the horses' name!


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## Paint Me Proud (19 December 2011)

when you are walking around the country park, spot hoofprints in the mud and are instantly able to inform your walking mates that said horse was shod in front but barefoot behind!

also when at work discussing which car you would buy if you won the lottery everyone else thinks you're mad when you say you want a swb land rover complete with roof rack, spot lights, winch and snorkel intake!!


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## Piaffe63 (19 December 2011)

You find little bits of straw and hay absolutely everywhere!!


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## dressagelove (19 December 2011)

These are awesome everyone! Loads and loads that I do, but never thought of! Lol, thankyou


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## nosenseofdirection (19 December 2011)

Your five year old daughter says 'You spooked me, Daddy' when he makes her jump...


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## maresmaid (19 December 2011)

When you drive to the yard at 7am on a Sunday morning and notice everyone's curtains are still closed and you wonder why anyone would want to waste so much time lying in bed.

When you try very very hard to remember what you used to do with your time before you had horses - and can't remember doing anything at all with all that free time.

When you find yourself weighing up the cost of new shoes / handbag etc in terms of bales of hay / corn or bedding. 

When the smell of new tack in a saddlery actually makes your heart beat faster.


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## maresmaid (19 December 2011)

When you put your hand in your pocket for a hankie and pull out.
A handfull of straw
A peice of baling string.
A fold up hoofpick..
2 horse treats or peices of shrivelled up carrot.
A screwed up feed receipt with competition details scrawled on the back.
Half a pkt of polo mints
and a hankie which looks like it's been used to clean your shoes.


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## Dolly_Mixture (19 December 2011)

- when everyone else in the office has photos on their desks of their husband/wife/partner/child and you have a photo of your horse


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## Emilieu (19 December 2011)

When everything you asked for for Christmas is actually for him...

Love these. I'm another teacher who clicks at the kids and tells them to walk on! And there's two pics on my desk - one of him, one of the cat! I also hold shopping bags like reins, always have done x


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## ClobellsandBaubles (19 December 2011)

adjusting/ counting strides when stepping up the curb in order to get the best best take off point


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## MrsMozart (19 December 2011)

When slowing the car, you sit deep and still your body (luckily I still remember to put my foot on the brake pedal as well ).


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## Tangled (19 December 2011)

When your going up/down kerb stones and count the strides, and if your a bit off you cluck on saying "bit of a long one"!


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## Cobiau Cymreig Wyllt (19 December 2011)

Guilty of so many of the above...especially clicking on the children I take on the school run to get them across the road quickly - not to mention telling them to 'walk on' but my very own personal little quirk is - without even realising I was doing it, (until ages after) - I accidentally taught my daughter to lift her feet to help her with putting shoes on by running my hand down her shin and clucking when I got to the back of her ankle!!  I tug at her non-existent fetlock as well if she's not paying attention!!! Oops! I totally didn't realise I was doing it til I caught myself one day..
The plus-side is - she's 'good for the farrier'!!!!


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## ABC (19 December 2011)

Thank god its not just me   

Nice to know I'm not the only mental one


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## JustKickOn (19 December 2011)

When you refuse a night out with the girls because you've planned to get up to the yard early for a serious schooling session.

When your OH knows that horse time will rise above his time on every occasion, and when you text your OH to say you're going to be late, and he knows it's because you've been at the yard.

When you're asked to leave Waitrose because your boots are too muddy and you have straw in your hair...


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## Britestar (19 December 2011)

Telling OH to 'walk on' when he is dawdling, and 'Woah-hup' when you want him to stop!

Not caring if you go to tesco in muddy jodhs and smelling of horse, because you couldn't be bothered to chance, as you'd just to change back when you got home.

There is a little pile of straw/hay where you take your clothes off at night.

Spending outrageous amounts on shoes/ rugs for ponio, whilst humming and haing about spending £12 ona new pair of work shoes - and when did you lasy buy a new coat??


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## PoniesRock (19 December 2011)

Black_Horse_White said:



			When you are driving along the motorway going "nice horse box"
		
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I do this ALL the time!!!


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## jojo5 (19 December 2011)

You do the supermarket shopping in yard clothes after finishing the horses without giving it a second thought . . . Until you leave your yard jacket in the car and realise what it actually smells like . . . .


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## teamsarazara (19 December 2011)

When you click at your wheelbarrow cause it wont move...
You have about two normal outfits and about 70 horse outfits.
When everyone thinks your rich...


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## Black_Horse_White (19 December 2011)

When you go into a shoe shop and see a pair of boots you like and shout out loud "how much" I'm not paying £60 for a pair of boots. Then go to the saddlery and buy some for £200 and not bat an eye lid.


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## Jazzy B (19 December 2011)

jojo5 said:



			You do the supermarket shopping in yard clothes after finishing the horses without giving it a second thought . . . Until you leave your yard jacket in the car and realise what it actually smells like . . . . 

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^^^^ 

but what is worse still, is when you walk round supermarket not particularly caring that you have your boots and silly woolly hat on but worry if you have to pop to the supermarket before a night out in your "posh stuff" and worry about what people will think???


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## TakeAChance (19 December 2011)

TheoryX1 said:



			When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.
		
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Haha, I love this, I do it when I'm towing my horse, just because he's with me I start seeing things that he might spook at and have even been known to give them a wide berth!


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (19 December 2011)

Ditto earlier post re. describing blokes in terms of horsey terms i.e.

"nice mover", "good hocks", "nice topline", "nice rounded outline", "nice uphill movement" etc etc!!!! 

Also.......

When you delve into the depths of your handbag and find hoofpick (dirty); tail bandage (even dirtier & honking); plaiting bands.

When you get in the middle of the supermarket and need to blow your nose, all the aforementioned items come out of your pocket in the aisle. 

When you go into M&S changing rooms clad in your yard gear (why the hell not? - of course its what you wear all the time innit?) and the janitor comes into the cubicle to clean it after you coz the next person to use it has complained of the smell.

You only take off your yard gear for the following: work (reluctantly); church, funerals, christenings, weddings (including your own); visiting aunty who's got lots of lovely money and you've gotta keep her sweet.

You are totally oblivious to the fact that because you never take off your yard gear everyone avoids you like the plague; all the time. 

You don't use the terms "left" or "right" anymore; its "left rein" and "right rein". 

You gauge how p!ssed you are as to whether you could walk the dressage test you're trying to remember for next Saturday.


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## Fanatical (19 December 2011)

Hahaha, this thread is brilliant! I've been laughing out loud at so many of them...because I do them, you just don't realise do you!


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## doratheexplorer (19 December 2011)

MrsMozartletoe said:



			When slowing the car, you sit deep and still your body (luckily I still remember to put my foot on the brake pedal as well ).
		
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Guilty of this, also when going over/through ditches on the ATV at home I get into my jumping position... this was fine when I am on my own, but when my ex-boyfriend was behind me on the quad he got rather a shock when I started jumping around


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## merry mischief (19 December 2011)

You refer to your dirty house as 'deep littered!' x


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## Polo*Pony (19 December 2011)

Love these so much, especially the sitting up to stop your car, patting it and refusing to spend a lot on your own shoes but merrily forking out a fortune on numnahs and various other bits that you already have several of.


I count strides all the time  - fences/lamposts etc. casting shadows onto the pavement are perfect for this but I do have to adjust sometimes (and then find myself thinking "ooh, I'll have to put a short one in/go for a long one here..." )

Also, when you look outside and the rain is torrential, so you think to yourself "Ugh. Don't think I'll go to Waitrose/other shop/somewhere warm and dry after all." and then promptly go and ride in the outdoor school and not even think about how illogical this was until afterwards. 

I'm sure there are others! Glad to know we're all slightly crazy together 

(Do you think there's an equine equivalent to the stereotypical 'crazy cat lady'? Cos I reckon I'd be there...)


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## Samantha008 (19 December 2011)

This is excellent. Particularly like the black fingernails (OH just doesnt understand) and being more ecited about horsey clothes than social clothes


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## Emilieu (19 December 2011)

When your shopping basket contains: two bags of apples, two bags of carrots, five pears and a five pack of strong mints. And, chucked in at the last moment, a pack of supernoodles for you.


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## Jenni_ (19 December 2011)

I wish I could quote Jackson RE the fake horsey gear as 'fashion' i had a Facebook rant about this the other day! One positive is we can all wear our Barbours / Dubarrys/ jods/ jeans out in public and not be scowled at - unless we still stink!!


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## I*HM (19 December 2011)

I'm guilty of all of the above (and darn proud bout it too )

I always tell the dogs, cats, sister etc to walk on. And it really bugs me that one of my cats in cow hocked 
Only ever go to tesco trailing mud, hay, shavings etc. 
Every time you go by a field you check to see if it (a) has a horse in it or (b) looks like it would have a horse in it.
When you can name horse boxes, trailers etc on the motor way.

When it's possible to bring any (and I mean any) topic of conversation back to horses.

And most impressive, when your non horsie friend has a dream about how she cracked and told your whole Irish class and teacher (in Irish) how I loved my horse more than my friends, how my horse dictates my social life, how I don't have a boyfriend because I'm too horsie eek:)


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## lisa-tredellans (19 December 2011)

-when you can't smell the smell of 'horse' anymore and everyone else complains you smell 
-when your showing wardrobe is taking up more room than your actual wardrobe
-when your horse is fitter than you are
-when you're out driving on the road and look at every hedge and bank as a jump, or every field as a good gallop stretch
-when you gasp at spending hundreds of pounds on a car but don't think twice when it comes to showing gear, a saddle or new rugs


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## nicelittle (19 December 2011)

Clicking at my children to pick their feet up to put on shoes

Adopting a jumping position whilst going over speed bumps in the car (!)


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## Jackson (19 December 2011)

When instead of having those semi conscious dreams while you're falling, you have them thinking you're falling from a horse and do the protective roll in bed...

When you are champion arm wrestler even against the men after lugging all of the poo and water about.

When you see someone else walking around in a similar horsey state as you and you eye them up to see what they're wearing and try and guess what sort of rider they are (!!!)


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## Jackson (19 December 2011)

When your friends come down the yard shivering in the corner and gagging at the smell of fresh manure while you run round in a t-shirt, and stick your hand right in with your marigolds on to check for wormies!

When instead of laughing at the white stain smeared down the front of your jodhpurs, your equally horsey friend understands immediately that it is only wormer (!)

When even reasonably cheerful animal films make you well up..

When you cringe at inexperienced actors come riders jabbing horses in the mouth in films.

When you know Katie Price as the one who makes disgusting riding outfits, and not the one who has a tv show (or whatever she does!)


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## Shadow-01 (19 December 2011)

When your phone in your pocket accidently calls *non horsey* friend.  She later checks her voice mail and calls to say she's received a message from you, and all she can hear is "clip clopping from a horse"! 

When OH complains that he's found bits of hay in the bed?! 

When you have the same annual conversation after the shortest day about how much extra light there is each evening


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## Shadow-01 (19 December 2011)

Oh, and when OH asks you what you would like for Christmas, you tell him you could really do with a new shovel! (well it is a pink one!)


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## Christmas Magic (19 December 2011)

Oh,I've got loads
You say"over"to your friends and family when you want to move them,instead of asking politely.
You kiss to your kids to make them go faster or say"Come on,trot on!"
Walking behind car you always put your hand on the bumper (just in case ,it know you there and wont buck)
When cycling trying to keep heels down
You holding bag like reins,instead of with full hand.
You have separate shelve in your wardrobe for saddleclothes and bandages.
You patting your friends/family on the back and say "good boy/girl!
Trying to stop your car you pulling the wheel and sitting deeper
Always looking for any horse/tack mistakes in historical or any other films.
Looking at the golf course you just sad,cos it such a waste of space,could have a nice canter out there

 Think its enough for now.cant think about anything else at the moment


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## Bettyboo222 (19 December 2011)

Whislt in the car you look at things and decide whether you would jump them
You 'click' at people you are with to encourage them to hurry up
You can cycle with your heel down
Your horses bed is tidyer than your own


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## MeganLindsx (19 December 2011)

When the main thing you worry about at christmas is who is going to put the horse to bed if your away...

When you check what the weather is going to be like EVERY night...


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## JustKickOn (19 December 2011)

Polo*Pony said:



			(Do you think there's an equine equivalent to the stereotypical 'crazy cat lady'? Cos I reckon I'd be there...)
		
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No??


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## Bettyboo222 (19 December 2011)

Remembered some more

When most of your friends have basic horsey knowladge and can tell you most parts of the horsey body and basic care. Regardless of the fact that non of them have ever ridden or been near a horse but just putup with me wittering on about it.

You count strides to shadows and puddles


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## Christmas Magic (19 December 2011)

Mixing your horses,cats,and family names


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## Kadastorm (19 December 2011)

-when you try and hunt for something decent to wear on a night out and realise all your clothes are your yard clothes. 
-when you cluck at family members/pets/random people/the t.v
-when you count the stides and 'jump' speed bumps in the road
- when you empty your bag and the bottom is filled with hay, feed, polos and your folding hoof pick you have been hunting for for ages. 
-when non horsey people dont want to talk to you because all you talk about is horses 
-when you dont get out of bed early for anything other than to get to the yard/a show etc 
-when you dont mind walking around town/a supermarket in your yard clothes but get self concious when in 'normal' clothes. 
-when you spend more on your horse at christmas than anyone else 
- when you would rather have a horse than a boyfriend 
-holding bags like reins
-when you try and lunge your dog


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## laurajane (19 December 2011)

I think mine is when you get to the pub, on a date! And get off someone you haven't seen in a while
"oh my god I didn't know what you looked like clean!"
Yeah cheers mate! Lol


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## City Mare (19 December 2011)

When you no longer want a "late one" New Years Eve...cos you want to be up early and feeling fresh for a New Years Morning ride.


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## EmmaB (20 December 2011)

LOL so many of these are true!! Love the bit of shrivelled carrot in your pocket/holding bags and dog lead as if they're reins/going in the supermarket covered in crap /finding hay in the bed/counting strides/thinking about how anything can be made into jumps 

Few of mine:
When at school you told the teacher you had tacked up the sewing machine  I meant to say threaded!!  

When your boss takes you into the office to say you obviously arn't working hard enough because there are little bits of paper with horse drawings on all over the place...

When your non horsey friend tells you off for calling your horse a pony, he's learnt the difference.

When your other non horsey friend can't understand why your laughing when he asks the difference between a stallion and a unicorn! He thought they were real!

When everyone says that your fluffy russian hat goes on your head in september and doesn't come off til february 

Trying to lunge and jump the dogs, setting up related distances for them only to have them jump the whole thing in one go!  and of course watching for which leg they're on and flying changes haha! Hilarious thread


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## emma.is (20 December 2011)

When you get in trouble from your teacher because there was straw in your exercise books! 
(Suppose that's what I get for rushing up to the farm from school so I can fit in a ride!)

When your boif comes to the yard because he never sees you!

When revision notes are posted around the tack room not your bedroom!!

When a wheelbarrow is top of your xmas list

When he's the only thing that will get you out of bed at 9am on a snowy freezing cold morning...


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## MeganLindsx (20 December 2011)

When the bottom of your pockets are filled with crumbs of pony nuts...

When all your clothes become stable clothes!

When all your spare money goes on a new rug or brushing boots...

When your perfect christmas present would be a voucher for a lot of horse feed!!

When you are constantly being asked if a pony is a baby horse


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## Shantara (20 December 2011)

I also do jumping position when in the car!
And it gives me great comfort to hold bags and other things like reins. When I'm on the till at work, I often hold the plastic bags and try to get a contact haha.

I also count the strides to puddles and twigs etc..
I like to imagine myself galloping through the fields, jumping the hedges when I'm on long train/bus/car rides!

When I got a bit bored whilst being intimate, I often thought to myself "I'd rather be riding a horse..." (Not in the same way, of course!!)

When you try and make friends with horses in fields!


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## laurajane (20 December 2011)

lol Annielusion at the last part of your post... I totally agree


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## Shantara (20 December 2011)

^^^ Hehe 

Also, when I realised I'm extremely grateful for being blessed with small boobs...no tight sports bra for me!! I used to care when I had a boyfriend, I could tell they were dissapointed, but pfft, I only have horses to worry about now


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## Enfys (20 December 2011)

mister-merlin said:



			When you start to referring to parts of your body using horse anatomy terminology: "My stifle hurts" 

Click to expand...

 Fail



Jackson said:



			When you find it acceptable to find pieces of straw and hay in your own bed. Never!  That's gross



Santa Hooves said:



			Forgot to mention, more rugs of the horsey kind in the house (to be repaired!) than floor rugs!
		
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  Rugs in the HOUSE!  Another Fail. Horse blankets stay outside in the barn



maresmaid said:



			When you put your hand in your pocket for a hankie and pull out.
A handfull of straw
A peice of baling string.
A fold up hoofpick..
2 horse treats or peices of shrivelled up carrot.
A screwed up feed receipt with competition details scrawled on the back.
Half a pkt of polo mints
and a hankie which looks like it's been used to clean your shoes.
		
Click to expand...

 I will admit to most of these though

I have this wonderful thing called a basement, a very large, heated basement ... kind of a dumping ground, no outer layer, horsey or otherwise gets past the inner door to the sitting room. Ever. I paid way more for the rugs on my floors than I did for any of my horses, Thankfully it is traditional here that _all_ shoes (family,friends, visitors, tradesmen even) stay on the doormat.

 If you walked into my house from the front door, apart from a few photos you would never know we had anything to do with horses at all, or even liked animals in fact, we don't do animals in the house as a rule. Allergies you see.

I am not a very horsey person obviously 

Click to expand...


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## hairycob (20 December 2011)

When the dress code for the office do is smart casual & you realise the closest thing in your wardrobe is a mountain horse jacket & your best jods.


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## maresmaid (20 December 2011)

When all your "smart" coats for work and everyday wear were bought from a tack shop and chosen for their thermal / breathable / waterproof qualities and their suitability for calling into the yard to do quick hay net / feed and skip out on your way to / from work or shopping etc.


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## giddyupalfie (20 December 2011)

LiveryList said:



			... when you look at your bank account and its empty and you still have a £500 vet bill to pay lol 

Click to expand...

Story of my life!!! But I wouldn't change a thing if it means having my horses


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## MagicMelon (20 December 2011)

dressagelove said:



			-You think your horse's feed looks and smells so good that you want to try it!
		
Click to expand...

Erm... I have and used to frequently with my friend - we'd always have a munch!! I must say that mixes are the nicest with the little crushed peas and molasses pellets...!

My main horsey things are:-

- All my smart & work clothes are covered with horse hair.
- I baulk at spending anything over £50 a normal item of clothing yet am happy to spend at LEAST that on horsey ones. 
- My bank account is permanently minus (well except for about 2 days once I get paid, but minus as soon as the horse insurance, farrier bill etc. comes out!).  
- My car is permanently covered in hay, horse hair (probably explains number 1) and full of horse jackets / hat / boots etc.

My worst has to be recently though when on seeing my positive pregnancy test I thought "oh no, how long can I not ride for"!!  I dont know if thats a normal reaction or not!  (and yes I am still riding and will continue until I get too fat!).


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## Faro (20 December 2011)

skydancer said:



			when you hold your dogs lead like your holding a rein

Click to expand...

Oh, so I'm not the only one then!

We've only had Ron the lurcher for 3 weeks (from Rescue) now, but already I've noticed myself doing that.  It seems to be the most natural and comfortable way for me!


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## ElleSkywalker (20 December 2011)

You 'jump' hedges while going thro countryside on a train


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## kdanaford (20 December 2011)

you try to give the horse a kick on the way to the jump , when you are watching showjumping on tv


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## ClassicG&T (20 December 2011)

MeganLindsx said:



			When the main thing you worry about at christmas is who is going to put the horse to bed if your away...

When you check what the weather is going to be like EVERY night...
		
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Im terrible at checking the weather, i check at least 3 times a day, have to know the temperature and what time so i know what rug i can put on pony or if i should book indoor or outdoor school. 

What would life be like without horses eh?


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## Chavhorse (20 December 2011)

You happily spend time baby wiping your horses backside and getting the hard bits off with your fingernails, you then put the used wipe in your pocket to throw away and forget about till you find it still in the pocket a week later.

Fingernails need to be scrubbed to make them look anything like normal

When walking in town with your OH you find yourself saying "walk on" and "easy" when crossing roads

When looking at winter boots you find yourself wondering why the zips are on the inside of the boot leg.

When OH asks you what you want for birthday/christmas you instinctively cycle through "rugs, bridles, riding boots" rather than "Jewelry, perfume and Silk underwear!

Every time you visit a new place you assess it for "hackability"


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## Faro (20 December 2011)

Chavhorse said:



			When looking at winter boots you find yourself wondering why the zips are on the inside of the boot leg.
		
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Even worse - you go into a very crowded TK Maxx and try on a pair of non-horsey boots with zips, only to find that you've put them on the wrong feet, because you automatically put them on with the zips on the outside...


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## Brandy (20 December 2011)

I used to go running and my mum woudl come with me on her bikje, she found it highly amusing that I would 'spook' when pigeons flew out of the trees at the side of the road (ingrained from my idiot welsh)

Also, when riding a pushbike myself, with my other half who bikes a lot, slwoing down on the approach to scary objects, and when approaching a T junction, slowing down well in advance......

Looking at an item of clothing online, and saying 'i like it, but when would I wear it?' and a colleague saying 'on a sundayin the summer.....'

er. I wear jods. Or shorts if poo picking, dirty shorts at that.


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## Hovis_and_SidsMum (20 December 2011)

When you "poo pick" the lawn from the dog and "muck out" the rats / hamster/rabbit.

When you say "over" and "walk on" to the dog.

When you feel like you have a baseball cap on even when you haven't, because you live in one most of the time.

When your boss refuses a lift to the station in the pouring rain because your car "stinks".  You can't smell anything

When you have the best equine dentist you can find and yet haven't seen a human dentist in years.

When you are crippled with pain and won't see anyone yet the horse gets the physio and vet out if it so much as sneezes.

Someone at work complains of back pain and you instinctively ask if they've had their saddle checked.

When you know a LOT of uses for vet wrap.

When your work colleagues think you're one kinky lady after you opened your boot to reveal a pair of full length leather chaps, a set or two of spurs and a nice array of whips.

When you prefer the smell of your horse to most mens aftershave

When you freely admit the most important man in your life has four legs

When you don't mind certain *ahem* "positions" when enjoying time with your other half as it allows to to perfect your rising trot *coughs*


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## AMH (20 December 2011)

- you don't think it's unreasonable that everyone should wait for their Christmas dinner until you've ridden 

- you refer to friends having babies as 'foaling down' (don't do this to their faces unless they're horsey too, doesn't go down well...)

- you need a pair of  work shoes and a pair of yard boots and only have the money for one, and there's really no question as to which you'll go for


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## assuan (20 December 2011)

merry mischief said:



			You refer to your dirty house as 'deep littered!' x
		
Click to expand...

Loved this one! So going to use that....

The rest are so funny and true


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## stylemichelle21 (20 December 2011)

Hovis_and_SidsMum said:



			When you know a LOT of uses for vet wrap.
		
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Laughed out loud at this one...very true!


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## Cadfael&Coffee (20 December 2011)

...you use your body language to herd drunk friends home... i pretty much long rein them ilmao 

completely agree with the conformation of blokes too haha, and the jumping of hedges whilst sat on the train- it always makes me imagine im hunting ilmao


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## Bettyboo222 (20 December 2011)

Remembered some more 

Your dog can lunge
You dog  knows and responds to stand, walk, trot and canter


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## Ali16 (20 December 2011)

~ When you accidentally call your boss by your horse's name 

~ When the BE website comes up on your internet history above the web page you're meant to be editing 

~ When your husband can reliably inform people that he is fourth on my your list of priorities below a horse and two dogs

~ When you get a notification at work that one of your files on your computer is too large and needs attention.. on closer inspection that file is called 'HorsePix'

~ When the family know that when they come to stay over Christmas, they will be given a 'daily routine' for the horses so should they will always know how to be helpful and when

~ You haven't had a holiday (including honeymoon) in a LONG time

~ Your days are, on average, about 7 hours longer than anyone else at work's

The list goes on...


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## BeckyCandy (20 December 2011)

I pat my dashboard when its behaved in the snow, up hills and warms up quickly.
-Also spend all my motorway driving admiring horses in the back of trailers and saying'thats a nice horsebox'
-Driving along looking at fields and big hills and thinking I wish I could ride around there or that looks good for fittening work
-Going to stay away in a b&b with land and thinking why havent they got horses.
- old car used to be a second tack/feed room and I'd have to rearrange just to fit a second dog in.
-Talking to dogs like they are a horse and people as well.
- Going out shopping and seeing fashionable leggings for £100 thinking they look like 25 pound cheap jods!
-Leaving nights out early/not drinking becuase you are compititing and explaining you have dressage the next day and one of the guys asking what your horse is going to wear ?!?
-My list goes on I drive people mad with my obsession!


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## Faro (20 December 2011)

Travelling along in a car - anyone's car - anywhere - and regularly commenting on how much "bloody ragwort" is growing along that particular verge/in that particular field you're passing.


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## Mince Pie (20 December 2011)

TheoryX1 said:



			When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.
		
Click to expand...




Jackson said:



			When you're walking the dog and you notice what leg they are on as they run.
		
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Mine goes disunited, I keep wondering whether to call the vet!



Annielusian said:



			When you get irritated by all these new 'fake' horse riding things.
		
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Too true!



lisa-tredellans said:



			-when you can't smell the smell of 'horse' anymore and everyone else complains you smell 
-when your horse is fitter than you are
-when you're out driving on the road and look at every hedge and bank as a jump, or every field as a good gallop stretch
		
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Er, yup! 



nicelittle said:



			Adopting a jumping position whilst going over speed bumps in the car (!)
		
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I am so guilty of this!



Christmas Magic said:



			Walking behind car you always put your hand on the bumper (just in case ,it know you there and wont buck)
		
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Hovis_and_SidsMum said:



			Someone at work complains of back pain and you instinctively ask if they've had their saddle checked.

When you know a LOT of uses for vet wrap.

When your work colleagues think you're one kinky lady after you opened your boot to reveal a pair of full length leather chaps, a set or two of spurs and a nice array of whips.

When you don't mind certain *ahem* "positions" when enjoying time with your other half as it allows to to perfect your rising trot *coughs*
		
Click to expand...

LOL 




Hovis_and_SidsMum said:



			When you freely admit the most important man in your life has four legs
		
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Of course, who else would it be?!


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## apple88 (20 December 2011)

You are obsessed with the weather....
You change your coat and boots in the carpark when you get to work to leave your smelly ones in the car, and then change into your uniform when in work....
You wear your wellies to the pub on a regular basis....
You click at your dog to get his attention......
You are desperate to get out of work ASAP to get 10 mins daylight!!
You have a car full of hay, mud, hair, gloves, hats, tissues.....
You love the smell of your horse


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## TART (20 December 2011)

When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.

That made me laugh so much - i do it all the time


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## saffytessa (20 December 2011)

When you lean forwards slightly as you accelerate out of a junction like trying to stay in balance as your horse sets off!


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## Mad_Cow347 (20 December 2011)

lara b said:



			You think its acceptable to wipe your horses nose with a tissue.. like a child..then accidentally use it yourself later :$:-D
		
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Haha, this made me laugh! I do this ALL the time!

- you find straw/hay in the most random of places (everywhere)
- you justify not washing your car with 'itll only get filthy when I go down the field tonight'
- you quite often find mud on your work trousers/jeans which has obviously been transferred from your wellies to the front of your car seats to your trousers
- you laugh when non-horsey friends question the above


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## Janah (20 December 2011)

I do agree that I do probably 85% of  things  that other posters do. I particularly sniff my boy.  Bit worrying!


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## maresmaid (20 December 2011)

When you get ready for a rare glamourous evening out - Hair done, Make up on, Jewlery carefully chosen to match beautiful floaty feminine dress, you pick up your delicate stilleto sandals, go to the door, pull on your wellies and call at the yard on your way to the "do" to top up haynet and do a quick skip out on your way there - and nobody on the yard thinks you look odd.


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## Toffee44 (20 December 2011)

When your thinking of selling up for a while but you dont know what you will do with the spare time/ money.

When you know as soon as you have saved a bit of money instead of replacing your banger car, you blatantly are going to go and buy that nice hunter (grey, ID, mare, 16hh + not being fussy here) you have always dreamed of.


When you are in the queue at the petrol station and you know you stink of Pee and wet straw and then a farmer comes in covered head to toe in something that smells more, it made me feel good lol. 


When you car has the ability to grow grass in the boot 

When your skint, a month behind on council tax, but you biggest concern is how are you going to buy your horses hay next month. 

When you havent had your hair cut for a whole year (I have only just realised this) but your horse is shod 8 weekly, clipped, teeth (My last dentist visit was 3 years ago) and has had at least two new rugs and a chiro.


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## Cadfael&Coffee (20 December 2011)

maresmaid said:



			When you get ready for a rare glamourous evening out - Hair done, Make up on, Jewlery carefully chosen to match beautiful floaty feminine dress, you pick up your delicate stilleto sandals, go to the door, pull on your wellies and call at the yard on your way to the "do" to top up haynet and do a quick skip out on your way there - and nobody on the yard thinks you look odd.
		
Click to expand...

lol forgot about this one


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## Lou23 (20 December 2011)

When the kids are ill and i tell them they need to go to the vets!!!!


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## Archangel (20 December 2011)

You can lift 20kg as if it is a bag of feathers
You can use a broom efficiently, not just fanny about in a limp wristed manner
You have amazing core strength, blokes remark that you are 'very strong for a girl' as they limp off
You can walk through neck deep mud without losing pace
You look in bewilderment at people who put an umbrella up when it rains
You use a 12inch lethal looking knife to cut up the horse carrots

This one is probably only relevant to me  carry an iron age flint in your handbag as it is brilliant at cutting baler twine.

And another...
have a rotting chop bone wrapped in a tissue in your handbag (you were saving it for the yard cat and forgot about it)


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## Pinkatc (20 December 2011)

- Security guards at work refer to your beloved 4x4 as the mobile farmyard when searching it
- You refer to peoples and all species of animals feet as hooves - 'get your filthy hooves off the sofa!'
- Your phone screensaver is a picture of the horses rather than your husband/boyfriend/kids
I agree with the vetwrap comment, it also applies to baling twine!


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## Clannad48 (20 December 2011)

You're watching someone else go over a jump and 'jump' it with them even though you're not actually on a horse (like a lot of people watching the Grand Prix at Olympia last night).
When you reverse the wrong way in the supermarket carpark because you've not realised that you haven't got the trailer on the back
When people at work think you're mad for taking all the shredded paper home (great free bedding)
When you go furniture shopping and ask how many hands it is
Working out if the bed in the spare room is a double or kingsize by remembering which horse's rug is drying out on it (The OH went absolutely mental)


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## Clofox (20 December 2011)

when..
you see all those delicious lik-it flavors and decide to treat your companion..but you have to try it first!
Your tack room and grooming kit are cleaner and more organised than your house will ever be..
Your social life evolves around your equines.. (but you wouldn't have it any other way!)
knee deep in poo? and your point is?!
Muck out and then eat? yeah, who cares!
perfume!? why bother? us horsey people have the best scent ever! and guess what!? it never ever leaves us not to mention our cars..
A date? how bout a romantic walk knee deep in mud and poo chased by the horses or we could even muck out together! or.. we could go on a hack.. i will ride and you will follow.. on foot!


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## Clofox (20 December 2011)

oh and..
when you pass a golf course and cant help thinking what great grazing land it would make or not to mention a fabulous cross country course!
My dad would eat me if i told him this what i picture golf courses for


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## Mince Pie (20 December 2011)

Rebel Reindeer said:



			And another...
have a rotting chop bone wrapped in a tissue in your handbag (you were saving it for the yard cat and forgot about it) 

Click to expand...

I've done that! Only it was the rest of a steak and it was for the dog


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## tallyho! (20 December 2011)

When you sit on your arse of an evening with a laptop on your knee, drinking sherry, reading HHO posts all night............


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## Clannad48 (20 December 2011)

tallyhohoho said:



			When you sit on your arse of an evening with a laptop on your knee, drinking sherry, reading HHO posts all night............
		
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That's me ^^  But not a laptop - locked away from the rest of the family in my study


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## attheponies (20 December 2011)

tallyhohoho said:



			When you sit on your arse of an evening with a laptop on your knee, drinking sherry, reading HHO posts all night............
		
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Replace sherry with red wine and I'm doing that right now..............!


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## Clannad48 (20 December 2011)

How could I forget this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you are sitting in a meeting at work checking figures on the laptop (!) when you splurt tea all over the keys because you are actually reading Hovis' Friday Diary


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## monkeybum13 (20 December 2011)

When you're walking through a busy shopping mall, full of people doing their christmas shopping and your friend pulls a horse bit out of their handbag.

Not mentioning any names


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## miss_c (20 December 2011)

rudolph_bum13 said:



			When you're walking through a busy shopping mall, full of people doing their christmas shopping and your friend pulls a horse bit out of their handbag.

Not mentioning any names 

Click to expand...

*innocent*


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## welshcob* (20 December 2011)

tallyhohoho said:



			When you sit on your arse of an evening with a laptop on your knee, drinking sherry, reading HHO posts all night............
		
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^^^^^^
This! ( Red wine tho!) Fab thread, I do sooo many! lol


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## ebonyallen (20 December 2011)

Love me. Love my Horse, and you end up still single


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## mik (20 December 2011)

Excellent, all the above, glass of rioja, and laptop, planning gridwork class tomorrow, watching mock the week as well!! 5 dogs snoring on the sofa and around the laptop on me, OH off to do night hay.. What a life..


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## tallyho! (20 December 2011)

rudolph_bum13 said:



			When you're walking through a busy shopping mall, full of people doing their christmas shopping and your friend pulls a horse bit out of their handbag.

Not mentioning any names 

Click to expand...

Good keyring idea!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bettyboo222 (20 December 2011)

You know yours farriers number better than your parents


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## noblesteed (20 December 2011)

When you're feeling sad and the ONLY person in the entire world who understands how you're feeling and can make things better is your lovely horse... Not your husband, best friend etc... Your horse is the first person you turn to for moral support...


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## maxapple (21 December 2011)

The lady in tesco asks how many children you have got - as you are always popping in to get baby wipes, sudocream, Vaseline etc. Then she always looks really oddly at you when you tell her you have none - just horses!


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## bumblelion (21 December 2011)

Forgot this one- when you're bedding down and missed some poos in the banks and pick them up with bare hands, then lob them out of stable into the wheelbarrow!


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## Bikerchickone (21 December 2011)

tallyhohoho said:



			When you start calling housework "mucking out"....

When you have to wade through wellies, muckers, coats, gloves.... just to get to the front door.

When you start commenting on quality of leatherwork on the high street, when shopping with friends.

In fact, friends don't invite you anywhere because you always turn up in muddy clobber and smell of mud.

Your hair-style is... actually, WHAT HAIRSTYLE????? Hair - in winter, lives under a permanent hat.
		
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This!!! It's exactly me these days! Oops better go muck out my house before the relatives descend for Christmas dinner! Lol!!


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## pizzi (21 December 2011)

marydoll said:



			When you'd rather go to the tackshop than clothes shops 
When a weekend at Blair sounds better than a weekend in paris 

Click to expand...


Know exactly what you mean!

Also
When you prefer the smell of leather to expensive perfume


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## Ideal (21 December 2011)

What a great thread , I nodded my head in agreement at nearly all of them . Certainly good reading on my night shift !!


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## debsg (21 December 2011)

The smell just behind my girl's ears is the best! 
When you are on HHO just after 2am on a weekday


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## rucky (21 December 2011)

You think its acceptable to wipe your horses nose with a tissue.. like a child..then accidentally use it yourself later :$:-D
		
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Hahaha.. One time or the other,I've done this! lol,but I don't mind at all!


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## HeatherAnn (21 December 2011)

When you get home from the yard, after being wrapped head to toe in winter clothes, yet still find straw/hayalge in your bra, knickers and socks. 

When you don't want to eat too many sugary things incase it makes you "fizzy"


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## brigantia (21 December 2011)

HILARIOUS!!! 

When Hubby is standing in front of the fridge or blocking a doorway, you put a firm hand on his flank and make clucking noises to move him. 

When on a country walk, you take care climbing over stiles onto main roads for fear of "spooking" passing bicycles.

People are so used to see you riding your horse that when you go for a walk sans pony, the populace inquires if your horse is lame or ill. 

NOBODY ever asks you for a lift because your car smells like a muckheap. 

At the supermarket your purchases consist of carrots, apples, Polo mints, a horsey mag, and Vaseline. The cashier locks eyes with you and immediately tells you all about HER three horses and you get in this deeply involved horsey conversation while a long queue of fuming shoppers forms behind you. 

When shopping, you despair of shoddily made high street fashion clothes because they don't hold up like well made equestrian gear. 

When on a business trip you take your full length riding rain coat with the wrap around leg straps, etc., along because that's the only thing that will *really* keep off the rain.


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## Tnavas (21 December 2011)

When you leg yield your car back into the lane after overtaking, click at it when going up hill, and have to muck it out to take it for its MOT.


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## Hovis_and_SidsMum (21 December 2011)

Clannad48 said:



			How could I forget this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you are sitting in a meeting at work checking figures on the laptop (!) when you splurt tea all over the keys because you are actually reading Hovis' Friday Diary
		
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That made me smile!


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## Spudlet (21 December 2011)

skydancer said:



			when you hold your dogs lead like your holding a rein

Click to expand...




wewillshowthemsantaclaus said:



			I do this. Then when he pulls i give him a squeeze or a half halt
		
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Hovis_and_SidsMum said:



			When you "poo pick" the lawn from the dog and "muck out" the rats / hamster/rabbit.

When you say "over" and "walk on" to the dog.
		
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Yes to all of the above

Also, when you click at the dog when you want them to walk on


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## Bettyboo222 (21 December 2011)

You leg yeild your bike


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## Polotash (21 December 2011)

Oh God, I think I do nearly all of these...

has anyone said "when you chop carrots for dinner like you'd prepare them for your horse"!?


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## Double_choc_lab (21 December 2011)

Just told a colleague that the works van has a nail in it's near hind!!


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## Faithkat (21 December 2011)

I haven't trawled through all 16 pages of replies so don't know if anyone else is like this  . . . . but I get really excited about fencing (fields that is, not epee and foil)


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## ArabianGold (21 December 2011)

When you roll out of bed half asleep and put your wellies on instead of your slippers, 

When you get stuck down the yard in the mud with the crap Corsa (should have brought a 4x4) and you try to sound sincere to your boss your going to be late but actually relieved that I get another half hour with the neddy. 

When you lay in the fresh straw bed you have just put down and actually doze off.

When you get out of the bathroom it looks like a bomb has hit it with straw, hay, mud etc all over the place.


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## monkeybum13 (21 December 2011)

And another one, when your only "holiday" this year was staying in the horse area of a lorry at a stayaway show


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## marie_d_3 (21 December 2011)

TheoryX1 said:



			When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.


Lol!  I thought I was the only person who does this!
		
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## helencharlie (21 December 2011)

When you are driving up and down the motorway and play spot the horse box and then can name the make and model. 
When your excuses for being late for work are; had a rat problem I needed to solve, horses escaped out of the field and I needed to catch them all and last years excuse got the car stuck in a ditch outside the yard due to bad ice. (untreated country road).
I also walk the people who I work with along the routes that I use hacking and think and often say out loud, need more leg here about to spook, or get ready to slow down there might be people on the bridlepath ahead.


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## Katikins (21 December 2011)

When you think EVERYTHING can be fixed with bailer twine... including holding the exhaust up underneath your very battered ford fiesta because you have no time to go to the garage due to horses (and it actually held for quite a long time)!

When you get really annoyed at the amount that horses in movies whinny!  It's just not realistic!

When you haven't had a horse or been riding for 3 years yet you still click at various people to get them to move.


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## Frankie10 (21 December 2011)

When you leave the yard at 2pm on a weekend only to return again at 4pm!


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## Joyous70 (21 December 2011)

When any deliveries recieved at work your colleagues instantly know are horsey related - and start singing "I Love horses" to you!!!

Your car resembles a stable & is known by your mechanic as the stable on wheels.

Fashion boots just don't look right the zips are on the wrong side

Your only piccies on your computer at work are horsey ones, also that on your mobile phone is of "your boys" and no you don't have children.

You leave work to put the boys to bed, or change their pj's

Stopping dead in the middle of a Boxing Day walk at your in laws last year, and stating loudly - i smell horses, quick where are they, as you haven't seen yours in 24 hours and miss them,

Checking out all other horsey people you may pass randomly and wonder what they ride etc.

Always smelling of horse, having hay in your hair and on the bathroom floor at work!!!! and bedroom floor at home

Your car apparantly smells of horses, but you can't smell it.

Theres jmany many more, but i should be at work


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## Frankie10 (21 December 2011)

And...
- you get compassionate leave from work to deal with the death of your horse 
- you have the think about which way to turn the car wheel when reversing WITHOUT the trailer! 
- you can hitch the trailer up quicker than your bloke can! 
- when your (non horsey) colleagues in work equate large purchases to how many bales of hay they could have bought 
X


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## camilla4 (21 December 2011)

TheoryX1 said:



			When you drive past a filled up skip at the side of the road and worry about your car spooking.

.
		
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Oh God -  I read this just as I was taking a mouthful of coffee and now have a burnt mouth and a very sticky keyboard.  B---dy marvellous comment


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## Benlot (21 December 2011)

When you check what the weather is going to be like EVERY night...[/QUOTE]

Oh My God! just realised this is my biggest fault everyone at work laughed when I read this one out.

Plus I think I do all of the above as well..........oh there really is no hope


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## miss_c (21 December 2011)

rudolph_bum13 said:



			And another one, when your only "holiday" this year was staying in the horse area of a lorry at a stayaway show 

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*innocent again*


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## mrhsaddler (21 December 2011)

My workshop is in a little industrial estate, and the amount of people who walk in the door and comment about `the lovely smell of leather` as they walk past the door, I cant smell it as being around it for so long, the other thing is my van always looks like its been offroading, with the amount of mud and filth over it, and it does get washed now and then, and everyone who gets in it seems to hold their noses, if they are not horsey.


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## FleabittenT (21 December 2011)

You get field envy...

Once mentioned 'ooh, that's a nice field' without thinking, when I was in the car with my new in-laws. The sideways look his mother gave his father was priceless 


ETA In my defence, it was the 'perfect' field, compared to my bog - just the right size, beautifully flat, lots of natural shelter...


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## Bettyboo222 (21 December 2011)

FleabittenT said:



			You get field envy...

Once mentioned 'ooh, that's a nice field' without thinking, when I was in the car with my new in-laws. The sideways look his mother gave his father was priceless 


ETA In my defence, it was the 'perfect' field, compared to my bog - just the right size, beautifully flat, lots of natural shelter...
		
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Sounds brilliant


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## madeleine1 (21 December 2011)

went for a job interview the other day i was spotless but checked in the mirror before i went in and found a single shaving in my hair.

and i cant for the life of me understand why my car cant legyeild. everytime i change lane on the dual carriegeway my bum muscles ask for legyeild.

when i turn corners in my car i turn my own shoulders and balance like im riding.

you know you are horsey when ur dissartation for criminology ba is on equine crime.


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## horsesatemymoney (21 December 2011)

When you go Xmas food shopping, after mucking out a deep litter bed, and nobody seems to want to wrestle you for the last bag of sprouts, like they do with each other

When you equate the passsage of time to horsey job, eg 15 minutes=muck out


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## Tinsel Town (22 December 2011)

these are soooooo funny! ive been laughin to myself for about 20 mins!!! hahaha! and they are sooooo true!!


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## pewterk (22 December 2011)

....you take up jumping position going over a speed bump 

....the garage moans about having to clear the hay out of the seat belt mountings to do the MOT

....you never wash your hands before eating at the yard, and never get food poisoning

....you ask complete strangers to "talk to the horse so he knows you're a human" (one bemused man replied very seriously 'oh dear, I don't know what to say to horses...')

and most of the previous posts!


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## Suechoccy (22 December 2011)

When you notice hay on the office floor and realise it's out of your hair or off your coat.

or this morning ... tut-tutted at the muddy footprints in the office corridor and then realised they were from your Wellies and YOU ARE STILL WEARING THEM.


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## maresmaid (22 December 2011)

HeatherAnn said:



			When you get home from the yard, after being wrapped head to toe in winter clothes, yet still find straw/hayalge in your bra, knickers and socks. 

Hmmm - just wondering what you get up to at the stables - I don't have this problem as a result of my "yard activities" 

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## spinneybarns (22 December 2011)

I took my car in to the garage have the head gasket done once and when I picked it up there was one of those disposable seat covers over the drivers seat, I casually said to the chap "you didnt need to waste one of those on my car" and his equally casual reply (without the swearing) was "I didnt put it on to protect your seat, I put it on to keep my overalls clean"
I have no idea what he meant....


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## Pampered Ponies (22 December 2011)

A lot of these had me laughing out loud.  A few more:

1) When the reminders in your computer diary are for Vaccinations/Equine Dentists/Farriers etc and not the birthdays of friends and family

2) The dog goes on "box rest" if he in injured

3) As a lady said earlier, when finding out you are pregnant just thinking about how many times in the saddle you will miss out on. And trying to convince the other half that your 3 are perfectly safe for as long as possible.

4) On arranging for your fab instructor, who is a good friend too, to ride for you over the time of your pregnancy that you can't ride feeling nothing but jealousy.

5) When you think about having your child you see it as having a perfect opportunity to buy a pony in a few years.

6) When the local butcher tells you you scrub up quite well when you're wearing what most people call "scruffs".


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## HeatherAnn (23 December 2011)

@maresmaid 
Gives new meaning to a roll in the hay


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## missponymad (23 December 2011)

dressagelove said:



			There are things that just means you are horsey, you know what I mean? I thought of a few today that I always think:

-You think your horse's feed looks and smells so good that you want to try it!

-It is satisfying and feels good to have dirty hands after being with the horses (just me?!)

-You ALWAYS have black fingernails...

-You bury your face in your horses mane and take a good sniff, cos they just smell so good, non horsey people think they stink! 

-You don't mind messing with horse poop, its the nicest kind of poop!

There are probs loads more, what are yours??
		
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When you get up at 1:30am to get the driving horses ready for the Christmas parade!!!!


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## palomino_pony (23 December 2011)

You use equestrian centres / tack shops / big horse events as landmarks....'Oh I know where you are, down near Hartpury' etc

This makes my mum laugh as she uses pubs!


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## Bettyboo222 (23 December 2011)

palomino_pony said:



			You use equestrian centres / tack shops / big horse events as landmarks....'Oh I know where you are, down near Hartpury' etc
		
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I do this !!!!


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## mszig (23 December 2011)

When sitting at work and realise the fleece you have shoved on in a hurry smells of horse and instead of being embarrassed that work mates may smell it you sniff it and feel happy as I' am doing today lol


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## Bettyboo222 (23 December 2011)

mszig said:



			When sitting at work and realise the fleece you have shoved on in a hurry smells of horse and instead of being embarrassed that work mates may smell it you sniff it and feel happy as I' am doing today lol
		
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I have done this at college which is even more embarrassing


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## Bettyboo222 (23 December 2011)

You can easily lift the heavy shopping bag that your parents struggle with because you are used to carrying sacks of feed


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## Azabache (23 December 2011)

You know exactly when the clocks are changing and when the shortest and longest days of the year are and their occurence makes you incredibly excited or depressed, depending on which it is.

A lie in is 8am!


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## ClassicG&T (23 December 2011)

Azabache said:



			You know exactly when the clocks are changing and when the shortest and longest days of the year are and their occurence makes you incredibly excited or depressed, depending on which it is.

A lie in is 8am!
		
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8am!!! Lucky you! I'm lucky if i get 7


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## mik (23 December 2011)

Azabache said:



			You know exactly when the clocks are changing and when the shortest and longest days of the year are and their occurence makes you incredibly excited or depressed, depending on which it is.
		
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So true!


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## soloequestrian (23 December 2011)

ebonyallen said:



			Love me. Love my Horse, and you end up still single 

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My husband is planning to call his first book 'Love me, love my horse'!
(Unfortunately I think that's as far as he will ever get with it - the title.....)


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (23 December 2011)

(1) Your mattress is falling to pieces & all the springs are broken, and you keep finding bits of hay, hair etc in it. You keep saying you're gonna replace it, but are a tad financially challenged at the mo.

Horse on the other hand has a lovely sweet smelling bed, kept scrupulously clean and swept and aired regularly.

(2) You've got pain in your back/knees/wherever; and OH keeps nagging you to go to your private physio and get yourself sorted, but you keep saying its a heluva lot of money and you'll be OK soon.

Horse on the other hand has regular physio plus solar and all the trimmings.

3) You keep bellyaching about your tooth hurting but you just keep putting off making the dentists appointment coz again you're a bit financially pinched.

Horse on the other hand has regular dental check ups, plus you've just bought him/her yet another expensive bit, plus coudln't resist that nice little bridle you saw at Badminton .....

4) Your hair looks (and smells) like the bottom of a straw bed; you can't afford a proper hairdressers appointment so use your horse's mane/tail thinner.

Your horse on the other hand has his/her mane regularly pulled and plaited, and tail trimmed and washed and is sleek and shining.


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## Gwena (23 December 2011)

When you're cooking a nice Casserole & you run out of carrots - but aren't worried because you know that there will be a few floating around in the car you can use!


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## mszig (23 December 2011)

OH just reminded me I say over and walk on to the cats when letting them out the front door


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## amyneave (4 January 2012)

palomino_pony said:



			You use equestrian centres / tack shops / big horse events as landmarks....'Oh I know where you are, down near Hartpury' etc
		
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hehe  I do this


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## amyneave (4 January 2012)

elleskywalkingintheair said:



			You 'jump' hedges while going thro countryside on a train 

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glad i'm not the only one.


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## Penny Less (4 January 2012)

When you are out with the OH visiting a stately home and you think "you could have a fantastic canter down here" on their immaculate lawns


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## Emilieu (4 January 2012)

When you suddenly become much more interested in a film / book / tv show / conversation because a horse is involved! 

I jump hedges on the train too


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## tallyho! (4 January 2012)

Emilieu said:



			When you suddenly become much more interested in a film / book / tv show / conversation because a horse is involved! 

I jump hedges on the train too 

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Snap!

I'm house hunting at the mo and wish rightmove would have an "equestrian" search box.... Or at least plot each livery yard on the map!!!


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## dressagelove (4 January 2012)

alma said:



			When you are out with the OH visiting a stately home and you think "you could have a fantastic canter down here" on their immaculate lawns
		
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This is a classic one! I do it alllll the time, I'm sure all horsey people do! Lol


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## brighthair (4 January 2012)

when your Dad unblocks your bath. To find straw, hay, polo mints, pony nuts...
when you take your sports bra off and half a haynet falls out
when your colleague sticks her horse gloves under your nose, you inhale deeply whilst the others recoil in horror when smelling them
when something smells like it has died in my car and then I realise it's just my sweaty riding hat
when the best, best smell in the world is horse related. Wet,sweaty horse smell, the smell of fresh straw, and the smell of a horses nose


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## tallyho! (4 January 2012)

brighthair said:



			when your Dad unblocks your bath. To find straw, hay, polo mints, pony nuts...
when you take your sports bra off and half a haynet falls out
when your colleague sticks her horse gloves under your nose, you inhale deeply whilst the others recoil in horror when smelling them
when something smells like it has died in my car and then I realise it's just my sweaty riding hat
when the best, best smell in the world is horse related. Wet,sweaty horse smell, the smell of fresh straw, and the smell of a horses nose
		
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That's just a bit too gross....


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## suzied (5 January 2012)

When everyone knows you're in your office from the trail of shavings you've left along the corridor.
When your feed bins are full of carefully researched, perfectly balanced top quality nosh, but your fridge just has a microwave curry, a cupasoup, a pot noodle & a half eaten packet of 24p Aldi biscuits.
When you're obsessive about keeping your horse's bed clean & tidy but ignore the dust & cobwebs taking over your house - although you do remember to polish the trophies.
When you use weight aids to drive round corners.
When you keep a halter in the boot in case you come across a horse loose on the road - which I have done, twice, & after catching it phoned the police & told them I didn't know where the horse lived because I didn't recognise it.  There was an even longer pause after I explained I was on first name terms with all the horses in the area.
When you just love the way your horse twists his neck in ecstasy when his physio hits the right spot during his regular six monthly check up & massage although you back is killing you because you can't afford a trip to the osteo.
When you cut your own hair - with the big scissors you use to trim your horse's tail - but pay someone else to clip your horse.
When all you want for Christmas is a bottle of leather wash. 
When you spend your Christmas bonus on a portrait of your horse.
When you've driven a 12 year old rust bucket round the clock so you can afford to keep your second hand lorry on the road.
When you choose pjs for their suitability to double as mucking out trousers.
When you won't go on holiday unless your horse can come too.


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## MagicMelon (5 January 2012)

- When looking for a new car, you think "well you cant fit a bale of hay into the back of THAT!"


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## *Maddy&Occhi* (5 January 2012)

Dolly_Mixture said:



			- when everyone else in the office has photos on their desks of their husband/wife/partner/child and you have a photo of your horse 

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hahaha exactly the same at my work


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