# How do i tell my best friend that im getting a horse



## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

Hiya, please help! I know it might sound REALLY silly, but I'm getting a horse soon and I haven't been allowed to tell anyone until we had actually gone to buy it. I've been riding since I was 4 and my mum had a horse when she was my age too. My friend doesn't have a horse but desperately wants one.  I'm worried how I'm going to tell my best friend who also ADORES horses, that I'm getting a horse. I'm 14 and she's 11, and I'm scared that if I tell her to her face, she might get a little jealous and the conversation might get awkward, or if I put it on social media, like Instagram for all of my friends, then she will get annoyed that I didn't tell her to her face first. I really want to tell her first, because she's my best friend and I've known her since she was born, (our parents were best friends) so I don't want to sound selfish or anything at all, but I really want to tell her. I was thinking of getting my mum to tell her mum, and maybe she would find out that way, but I would like to know the best way, to avoid awkwardness, jealousy or sounding rude, thanks xxxx


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## 9tails (12 July 2016)

Explain to your mum that your friend would be hurt to find out with the masses, as she's your best friend and you feel she needs to be told.  I'm sure your mum will understand your worries.


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## SpringArising (12 July 2016)

You're incredibly empathetic for someone who's 14 - you sound like a really nice friend for someone to have.

I would tell her face to face, and also say that you're going to need her help and would love for her to come and ride with you etc. 

I'd also ask her for her opinion on a lot of trivial fun things, e.g. 'Which numnah do you prefer, X or Y?' and then go with the one she chooses. At 11 she's bound to be upset and jealous but she'll be OK!


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## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

Thank you, this really helps, xx


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## {123756} (12 July 2016)

I agree, at 11 of course shes going to be jealous. Just make sure she feels included and thats all you can do. Take her to tack shops to help pick out stuff, let her ride with you, take her to the yard with you. maybe even try and find a horse suitable at your new yard so you can both ride together?

Good luck and have fun with your new horse!


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## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

Thanks so much, I think that's a great idea xxx


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## LHIS (12 July 2016)

Would you be happy to let her help you with your horse and maybe the odd ride? I think you telling her yourself will be best, I imagine she will be happy for you but feel a little jealous.  However if you can include her in as much as she wants to be involved in, then this will help.


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## Alec Swan (12 July 2016)

SpringArising said:



			You're incredibly empathetic for someone who's 14 - you sound like a really nice friend for someone to have.

I would tell her face to face, and also say that you're going to need her help and would love for her to come and ride with you etc. 

I'd also ask her for her opinion on a lot of trivial fun things, e.g. 'Which numnah do you prefer, X or Y?' and then go with the one she chooses. At 11 she's bound to be upset and jealous but she'll be OK!
		
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^^^^ This,  and just to reinforce the point that at your young age and that you should show concern for your friend,  speaks of many more years!  

You'll know your friend best,  and perhaps as Hannah has suggested,  including her as much as you can sounds ideal.  Your friend may be a little resentful at first,  but if she sees that there are some benefits,  I'm sure that she'll come round.

Have you spoken with your Mum,  and what's her view?

Alec.


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## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

Thanks, this is a great idea. I think I'll take her to some local shows, and she can enter in the same class as me xxx


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## dollyanna (12 July 2016)

Try telling her as part of an exciting venture such as going to the tack shop to buy things for the horse - eg "Hey, I was wondering if you would come with me to the shop to buy some new things because I am getting a horse and I would love for you to help me choose stuff for him! Would you like to have a go on him once he settles in?" Be excited, don't be apologetic, but make it exciting for her too by including her as much as you can. Ask her opinion on lots of things and try and take it on some of them.
Another way of including her in the future (if you have suitable hacking) is to pack up a picnic in a rucksack or saddlebags and head off out for the day together, taking it in turns to ride and walk, and maybe sometimes both of you walking and leading to give the horse a rest. I used to love doing this with my non-pony owning friends at your age.


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## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

dollyanna said:



			Try telling her as part of an exciting venture such as going to the tack shop to buy things for the horse - eg "Hey, I was wondering if you would come with me to the shop to buy some new things because I am getting a horse and I would love for you to help me choose stuff for him! Would you like to have a go on him once he settles in?" Be excited, don't be apologetic, but make it exciting for her too by including her as much as you can. Ask her opinion on lots of things and try and take it on some of them.
Another way of including her in the future (if you have suitable hacking) is to pack up a picnic in a rucksack or saddlebags and head off out for the day together, taking it in turns to ride and walk, and maybe sometimes both of you walking and leading to give the horse a rest. I used to love doing this with my non-pony owning friends at your age.
		
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Thank you so much, this is a great idea, we have great country roads here, so that would be perfect. Thanks again, xx


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## Amye (12 July 2016)

Agree with what everyone else has said! 

Tell her face to face before the others. She will react better if you tell her personally then if you plaster it on the internet as she may feel left out. 

Try and get her as involved as possible like everyone else has said. This will make her feel included and less jealous when she realises she can help you out with your pony too. Take her to the shops etc to buy new things for the pony and ask for her opinion on what she likes  


I think it's great you are getting a pony and can share this with your friend. Don't be scared of telling her - make it exciting for the both of you!


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## MagicEquine1 (12 July 2016)

Amye said:



			Agree with what everyone else has said! 

Tell her face to face before the others. She will react better if you tell her personally then if you plaster it on the internet as she may feel left out. 

Try and get her as involved as possible like everyone else has said. This will make her feel included and less jealous when she realises she can help you out with your pony too. Take her to the shops etc to buy new things for the pony and ask for her opinion on what she likes  


I think it's great you are getting a pony and can share this with your friend. Don't be scared of telling her - make it exciting for the both of you!
		
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Thank you! This really helps xx


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## That_midgit_equestrian (10 January 2021)

MagicEquine1 said:



			Hiya, please help! I know it might sound REALLY silly, but I'm getting a horse soon and I haven't been allowed to tell anyone until we had actually gone to buy it. I've been riding since I was 4 and my mum had a horse when she was my age too. My friend doesn't have a horse but desperately wants one.  I'm worried how I'm going to tell my best friend who also ADORES horses, that I'm getting a horse. I'm 14 and she's 11, and I'm scared that if I tell her to her face, she might get a little jealous and the conversation might get awkward, or if I put it on social media, like Instagram for all of my friends, then she will get annoyed that I didn't tell her to her face first. I really want to tell her first, because she's my best friend and I've known her since she was born, (our parents were best friends) so I don't want to sound selfish or anything at all, but I really want to tell her. I was thinking of getting my mum to tell her mum, and maybe she would find out that way, but I would like to know the best way, to avoid awkwardness, jealousy or sounding rude, thanks xxxx

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Hi I’m struggling with somthing similar I have just got a part loan now my best friend doesn’t kneo I haven’t told her yet because I’ve had to taht Havent  worked out recently so I don’t want to do it again to her I feel like she’ll react badly even though she wouldn’t do that but I’m still scared cos she’s not had one I feel like this one is the one but I’ve started loaning him now idk if she’ll be mad after me saying oh ye this is Chester I started laoning him. A week ago


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