# New pony, threw daughter - do I keep him?



## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Hi
I am after some advice.
We have a new pony, was sold as perfect first pony. Even the vet said that!
However, he has been agressive in the field - ears back, looking to bite. I think it was cos I wasnt firm enough to start with. We are better at catching him now and I feel more confident. He bit my sleeve once. Also makes faces at my daughter.
Daughter has been riding him and getting more confident, doing some little trots on her own. Yesterday, he spooked and bolted, throwing her off. I think he bucked or swerved when she fell. She had to go to A and E, luckily nothing broken.
I rode him home after the accident and he was fine.
He is used to a busy yard, ours is a quiet field with another horse. I dont think he is used to being out alone.
But overall I am unsure if we should keep him. He just doesnt feel like a kind pony on the ground and is a bit spooky hacking.
I dont know whether to to try and send him back (daughter will be sad) or to get an instructor and persevere. 
Any suggestions would be great.
Thanks


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## PictusSweetDreams (1 March 2021)

How long have you had the pony?


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

3 weeks


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## D66 (1 March 2021)

Daughter needs a few lessons with a good trainer.  has she joined the pony club?


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## ester (1 March 2021)

Do you have a trusted instructor who could take a look at the situation and see whether they think it is overcomable or not. 

Small person confidence is quite precious.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Havent got an instructor yet. Have had one recommended who I can contact. But she cant ride now for 6 weeks cos of fall.
I suppose I don't want her to get too attached and also need to send back before much longer if I do.


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## dixie (1 March 2021)

How old is he?
Did you get him from a dealer?
Can you get a second opinion from an instructor or friend with a more experienced child. 
Altho to be fair it doesn’t sounds like a child’s first pony even on the ground. Even allowing to letting him settle in, your daughters confidence is precious at this level.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Thanks for replying!


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## Snowfilly (1 March 2021)

Three weeks is nothing. She needs an instructor and the pony needs to settle in a bit.

Re the catching - does his tack all fit? And do you catch him for nice things - feeding, grooming? Or is it always work?


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Hi Dixie,
I am kind of thinking that too.


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## dixie (1 March 2021)

As your daughter can’t ride for a while I would suggest getting someone you trust to assess him to see if he’s suitable or just trying it on or unsettled.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Hi Snowfilly
Yes we do grooming etc.
He stands well for that, once tied up with hay. If no hay he moves around and makes a face and tries to pull off ring.
Had tack checked by a friend who works at a stable and it looks fine.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Thanks Dixie, I could do that


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## honetpot (1 March 2021)

So many variables. Most ponies have a but, and depending on how long you have had him, he may just be testing what he can get away with. Some ponies learn very quickly that a spook, with a zoom or a buck will quickly dislodge a child, child cries doesn't get back on, job done.
 I control every thing, no matter how long you have had them. You have to do all the thinking for the child, your pony was hopefully outgrown, so its last rider may be more competent than yours. When I buy anything is basically treated like its just been backed, and the child and the pony not challenged by anything until the child is in control 95% of the time.
  I had a LR pony that started spooking, I sent it away to a pro, and the small adult could do anything with it. Later that summer it started head shaking. I had owned the pony nearly three years, and in the space of three months it became unrideable.


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## splashgirl45 (1 March 2021)

is he being fed differently?  also is he turned out on his own?  3 weeks isnt very long and if his management has been changed that could affect his behaviour in all ways,  he may feel insecure and be behaving in a different way to his old home.  can you get a more experienced child to ride him for a while and maybe have a professional person assess him for you.


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## Pinkvboots (1 March 2021)

3 weeks is no time at all his in a strange place with strangers, you have to take into consideration that his whole life and routine has changed.

Is he getting enough exercise and turnout? I would get him lunging long lining with ground work with an instructor while your daughter can't ride.

What are you feeding him? I would be inclined to just feed hay and grass at the moment.

How much turnout is he getting? Is it similar to what he is used to? It can make a huge difference to there energy levels if the turnout is less now.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Thanks Splashgirl.
Yes it is a different environment. Same food. I do think he is unsure. 
I was questioning if he is right for us before the fall anyway. Just doesnt seen very kind or friendly on the ground. He does come to greet us at the fence, but think thats for food!


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Hi Pinkvboots
He is out full time with fieldshelter. Haven't tried lunging him yet.
Before with us, he was ridden by an 8 year old and gave her confidence.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Feed is high fibre cubes which he had before


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## Pinkvboots (1 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Hi Pinkvboots
He is out full time with fieldshelter. Haven't tried lunging him yet.
Before with us, he was ridden by an 8 year old and gave her confidence.
		
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Is he on his own in the field?


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Yes at moment, but across fence from 2 others


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## Amymay (1 March 2021)

Is he from a dealer?


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Riding school but also dealer, was recommended and has good reviews


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## splashgirl45 (1 March 2021)

being on individual turnout if they are not used to it can make a huge difference, they feel vulnerable and unsure.  can you try another pony in with him to see if it helps.  my old mare came from turnout with 11 others to individual turnout with others next door.  when i moved her she had to share with another horse,  she changed almost immediately and became much more settled,  i hadnt realised that she was stressed on individual turnout and felt very guilty that i didnt know ...


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## poiuytrewq (1 March 2021)

What was he like personality wise when you viewed?

I did have a pony on loan when my daughter was small who was perfect to ride but bad tempered. It did eventually put her off and she stopped riding.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

When viewing he came from a stable into indoor school and happily stood with haynet (which I now do!)
He was fine with owners 8 year old riding him and then mine too. He was fine with us grooming him.
She did say he doesnt like his girth being done up, will pull a face, but lots are like that.


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Yes he might be better with a friend in field, but I dont have another one yet! 
Just dont want to leave it too long if decide to return. 
I could call previous owner and have a chat, but I'm not sure how she'd be about having him back as she now has other ones on sale.


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## AUB (1 March 2021)

Moving yards can be a big mouthful for some horses. 3 weeks is nothing.  

Also: he might be underworked. How much work was he in before? It doesn’t sound as if does too much atm, maybe he just needs to do more. 

And on top of that it’s spring.


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## poiuytrewq (1 March 2021)

It might be worth having a chat, not necessarily to ask them to have him back but just to run all this past them, they may well be able to shed some light on it or advise. 
I know certain things would make my horses act up and could avoid doing them because I know them so well. It’s hard with a new pony, for both sides.


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## splashgirl45 (1 March 2021)

why not call previous owner and ask for advice.....it would be a shame to send him back if a tweak to his management could make  him go back to the pony you tried....i was thinking you could ask someone at your yard if they would turn theirs out with him to see if it helps.... not expecting you to purchase another


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Thanks everyone. 
My plan is now to get an experienced friend to come and handle him and see what she thinks. 
Then also to call previous yard and see what she says.
I dont want to give up too easily, but on the other hand its not feeling right at the moment.


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## splashgirl45 (1 March 2021)

good luck , hope you can sort him out


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## L&M (1 March 2021)

3 weeks is not long as ponies are very good at 'testing' out new owners!

My son's 13.2hh bucked him off 3 times on his first ride - fortunately we were in the school so a soft landing and my lad was brave enough to keep getting back on. After that the pony never did it again as realised it wasn't going to frighten him!

Like you I panicked and thought what had we bought, as didn't seem the same pony we tried. This pony was also a bit difficult to handle but after a few mnths it settled and turned into a fab little pony and taught my son so much, so maybe not give up on it so quickly....

Get some help if you can and give it some time - if it is still being difficult after a few mnths then time to make a decision......


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## TillyF (1 March 2021)

Thanks L&M, poor son! I just hope my daughter is as brave esp as she cant ride for a few weeks now


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## planete (2 March 2021)

I always thought a first pony should have manners to burn and be thoroughly reliable unless grossly mismanaged.  IMO this is not a first pony, second pony maybe.  His reactions to unsettling conditions should be mild and not dangerous.  I am sorry if I disagree with most posters but my child would not go near this one again, he has not shown any of the tolerance that should be the hallmark of a first pony.  When my son was young we had a first pony for him we loaned to other pony club homes to teach other children when my son outgrew him.  He moved around quite a bit over the years, went hunting, went to camp and never did he become aggressive or try to buck a child off.  Our second one on the other hand required quite a bit of work but that was expected.


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## be positive (2 March 2021)

planete said:



			I always thought a first pony should have manners to burn and be thoroughly reliable unless grossly mismanaged.  IMO this is not a first pony, second pony maybe.  His reactions to unsettling conditions should be mild and not dangerous.  I am sorry if I disagree with most posters but my child would not go near this one again, he has not shown any of the tolerance that should be the hallmark of a first pony.  When my son was young we had a first pony for him we loaned to other pony club homes to teach other children when my son outgrew him.  He moved around quite a bit over the years, went hunting, went to camp and never did he become aggressive or try to buck a child off.  Our second one on the other hand required quite a bit of work but that was expected.
		
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I agree, having dealt with many unsuitable ponies over the years a true first pony is hard to find and very accepting of everything in life a move should not really bother them as they will have moved before, have been out to PC camp and seen a lot in general, having to have hay in front of him to keep him still would be enough to make me question his manners, my 2 ponies tie up without a net and will stay there for as long as I need them to neither are first ponies to ride but both could easily be handled by a novice child .

You say he was in a RS/ dealers yard I would be interested to know how long he was there and how much work he was doing it may be he was working hard compared to now, where he was before  would probably be a better place to get a true picture.


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## Apizz2019 (2 March 2021)

In my opinion, a true first pony should be the closest you can get to bombproof, adaptable and not easily upset by change in home, routine etc.

After all, you dont take a pony to a show and expect to spend a few days or weeks there for it to settle and perform.

I may be old fashioned in my views but that's what I consider a true first pony. Yes, they may be slightly nervous or out of sorts but never dangerous, which bucking is for small children. 

Our first pony for my daughter was a dream on the ground but not consistent under saddle. One day he would take you through anything, the next he had a scary shadow following him. 

I can't stress enough how quickly he destroyed my daughter confidence and how long it's taken to build that up again, still 2 years later she's nowhere near where she was when we got her first pony, despite having the perfect first pony now.

We tried everything with her first pony but she wasn't capable enough, he was more of a second pony and it was just the way he was wired. 

Very much the same as humans, you cannot change who they really are. You can dumb down some aspects but they either have what it takes to be a first pony, or they don't. 

The problem with small ponies is, they're rarely broken and brought on by children these days. More often than not its small capable adults who do this, which results in ponies not wanting little riders bouncing on them, being unbalanced, which most small kids are, and not being given correct aids.

This is the very reason why true children's first ponies are so hard to find and cost a small fortune.

You can't put a price on safety.


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## EASTIE17 (2 March 2021)

These things can spiral quiet quickly so its good you are getting some sound advice. While part of ownership is about giving the animal time to settle , there are lots of very suitable animals out there looking for homes so why spend the time, expense and indeed often upset with one that is potentially not suitable.
And suitability comes down to owners also, if you or your daughter or not that experienced a normally placid pony can try it on, become unsure of their boundaries, they get stressed, behavior gets worse and on we go. And theres nothing wrong with not being experienced, but as others have said ideally suitable in this case might be the type that just doesnt care where they are (within reason) so that they dont react unless there is something to react to. I totlally understand it can be difficult to determine that from viewing etc.
As someone once said to me when my daughter was starting to event and we had the, what I now regard as silly (on my part) theory of getting a youngster to grow with her, "when everyone is learning, no-one is learning". Since then I bought the best I could afford, schoolmaster types and now she has learnt her "trade" she is bring a few youngsters along because she knows what to do. Always a very tricky balance but experienced helpers are the key, and consistency


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## Rowreach (2 March 2021)

Grumpy on the ground, probably stressed with new environment/individual turnout, doesn't like his girth being done up ... I think you probably have a physical problem there.


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## TillyF (2 March 2021)

Thanks so much everyone.  Lots to ponder! 
Yesterday my gut feeling was to send him back and start again, today I was thinking of giving him another chance.  I'm just not sure!


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## eggs (2 March 2021)

How experienced are you with horses/ponies?  From what you have written it sounds as though you don't have that much experience yourself and this pony is quite possibly not the right one for you or your daughter.

I would agree that a true first pony should cope perfectly well with a move to a new environment.  Have someone experienced come out to assess the pony and your child and if they think the pony is not suitable you should not carry on with him.  Coming from a dealer does give you more protection so I would get in contact with them and advise that the pony is not suitable and that you will be returning him.  I'm not really into the whole cuddling and kissing of ponies and wanting them to be my best friend but your daughter has to enjoy being around the pony on the ground as this isn't a top notch competition pony and it doesn't sound like this pony likes being fussed over.  It could be that he was soured at the riding school.

Take a knowledgeable friend with you when you next go looking for a pony.


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## ester (2 March 2021)

Realistically I’d be pushing to send him back which shouldnt be an issue If the seller is reputable as you say, and selling kids ponies.


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## Ambers Echo (2 March 2021)

I think first ponies should be temperamentally very easy going and cope rapidly with new environments. I think they should not have bucking as a 'go to' behaviour in any circumstances really. They should not overreact to spring grass or a bit less work or turn out than they are used to. So no I don't believe this pony sounds suitable for a young child who needs a reliable, safe pony.


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## TillyF (2 March 2021)

Thanks all.
I think I'll ring her tomorrow.


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## be positive (2 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks all.
I think I'll ring her tomorrow.
		
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One problem with giving another chance is the temptation is to keep doing so, make excuses for whatever they do until you are too invested in every way, your daughter cannot ride for 6 weeks so it will be end of April before she has been back on for long enough to make a decision by which time the dealer is even less likely to take him back, no guarantee they will cooperate now but you have enough grounds to return him as unsuitable for purpose.


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## Equi (2 March 2021)

Let it go back. Not every pony will be a match and there is not much point spoiling your kids confidence.


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## Chianti (2 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks so much everyone.  Lots to ponder!
Yesterday my gut feeling was to send him back and start again, today I was thinking of giving him another chance.  I'm just not sure!
		
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I would think very carefully about keeping him. I know it would feel like you've not given him a chance but your daughter is your first priority. I'm an adult and have what I call a first pony +. He's had nine year olds get him from the field, groom and tack up and wobble round the school in trot and canter and hack out safely. He can go up several gears if more confident children ride him and want a blast on the common. I would expect a first pony to be a bit of a saint - not perfect because they are living animals but you trust them in everyday situations.


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## Wishfilly (2 March 2021)

I think I'm in the send the pony back camp too, sorry. As others have said, if you wait the six weeks and have a problem it may be a lot trickier to send him back.

What was the situation with his former owners? A true first pony is unlikely to end up at a dealers, and if she has a RS too, then it seems odd she'd pick a very safe first pony as one to sell. I know times are tough for riding schools right now, but good ponies are worth their weight and cheap to keep. 

A riding school owner's daughter, even at 8, is unlikely to ride like your average 8yo- so I wouldn't necessarily use that as a measure of how suitable the pony is. How old/experienced is your child? 

Did he actually bolt, or just run off with her?


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## TillyF (2 March 2021)

Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.


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## Apizz2019 (2 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.
		
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All horses and ponies spook, we can't remove their nature entirely and they are a prey animal so will take off if scared, however, it's how they react after the fright that's important in a kids pony. 

I'd be concerned that he didn't stop at you but I'm more concerned he took off. A kids pony should look after their precious cargo and listen to the rider. 

Our current pony jumps on the spot if scared, like a body shudder, but has never taken off, spooked to the side or unseated my daughter. And he comes back to her hand when asked, he has manners and probably has a bond with my daughter that yours doesn't have, understandably, as you've not had him for long. 

However, as per my earlier comment..... Confidence can be diminished very easily and can take years to build back up. Sometimes it doesn't come back at all. 

If this were me, I'd return to the dealer. 

I question why a true first pony would be at a dealers in the first place as many are sold or loaned before the advert is written as they're very sought after and often change hands through word of mouth. 

Good luck!


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## Pearlsasinger (2 March 2021)

He doesn't sound like a first pony to me.


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## Winters100 (2 March 2021)

Afraid I would also return the pony.  If your daughter was not off riding for 6 weeks I might say let an instructor take a look, but in the circumstances I feel that returning pony would be the right thing.


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## meggymoo (2 March 2021)

No experience of this, so no advice from me, but just a thought. You know your daughter well enough, is she even going to want to ride him in 6 weeks time? Is she a bit scared now? If so, will that grow and grow in her head during that time and as others have said, after another 6 weeks will it even be possible to return him?


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## TillyF (2 March 2021)

Thanks again everyone. Will let you know what the dealer says!


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## Wishfilly (3 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks all.
Wishfilly - he spooked at something in a hedge, trotter then cantered, she held on quite well to start with! He wouldnt stop at me, then careered off the path into a field and as he turned the corner, he either swereved or bucked (bit of a blur), thats when she fell.
Yes true about the daughter, prob better than most 8 year olds.
		
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This doesn't really sound like first pony behaviour but all ponies will spook. It sounds like you weren't in the arena, and your daughter is only just trotting of the lead on him? It sounds like she just held on rather than telling him to stop? If that's the level of your daughter's riding I do think you perhaps have to keep a bit closer and be ready to step in as soon as it looks like something is going to go wrong- you won't be at this stage for long, but until she is confident applying the brakes and you know how the pony will respond, I do think it's best to stay within grabbing distance whilst out hacking (because of the risk to others as well as to your daughter). That's just my opinion though, and I know others will feel differently.

How old/experienced is your daughter? It's her first pony, but have you owned horses/ponies before?


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Thanks Wishfilly. 
Yes I do need to keep nearer, it was probably a bit too soon. 
I have had ponies before, but a few years ago. 
Had a nice ride today myself. He was still definitely nervous, but did as I asked, needed coaxing down one road towards bridleway. So perhaps just very unused to being out byself.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Also daughter and I had an honest chat, we think perhaps he is overall a bit much for her. Still waiting to hear from dealer.


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## Wishfilly (3 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks Wishfilly.
Yes I do need to keep nearer, it was probably a bit too soon.
I have had ponies before, but a few years ago.
Had a nice ride today myself. He was still definitely nervous, but did as I asked, needed coaxing down one road towards bridleway. So perhaps just very unused to being out byself.
		
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Unless you're tiny, or your daughter is a fair bit older than I am imagining, if you're able to ride him too, he's probably a bit big for your daughter?

Something an adult is needing to "coax" probably isn't an ideal first pony, though. And if he's unsure about hacking alone, and that's what you want your daughter to be able to do, then he's probably not right.

However, I do think you need to be conscious of setting your daughter and any future ponies up for success- and that includes perhaps thinking a bit more carefully about what you buy in the future.

I'm not saying all of this to judge you, I just think that whilst this pony perhaps isn't quite what your daughter needs, you perhaps haven't quite set things up as well as you could have done. 

I would phone the dealer tomorrow.


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## misst (3 March 2021)

Not read all replies but coming from a RS - was he on working livery?
I made this mistake years ago. 
Not only a change in routine and handling but a pony in RS is often worked most days. The lack of work might well be a factor if so. If he is a pony and on good grass does he need feed at all? Is he used to being ridden out of a group?
Our old girlie turned out to have a good old buck and spook on her which never showed in a RS situation but showed very quickly on a change in management and handling and a lack of work.
It is all sortable if you want, with good professional help. Our girl was a fantastic pony club pony and did everything for our daughter and went out on loan for a while too - where she played merry hell with loaners until they got her measure! It took about a year and it was hard work but worth every moment, she was on every team and my daugher hacked her for fun until she was 25. We had her until she was 27 and she remained a fiesty monster until the last. 
It is early days but if you are going to send her back then now is the time.


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## brighteyes (3 March 2021)

I'm guessing you didn't pay a  'paragon of virtue' Pony Saint price...

So much depends on the age and size and type of pony, same for child, your experience, its former life and company. Everyone is cribbing the poor pony and I am thinking the OP sounds a bit naïve with her expectations. Redmone springs to mind and Keira888. Both disaster potential and both happy ever afters.

My kids never had schoolmasters and most people were horrified at my first choice for them (well-known madam of a thing) but I know about ponies and she was their best friend for 9 years. She took them from 'no up-downs' to hunting via Pony Club, XC and SJ, up the beach, round the roads and on holiday to the Welsh Mountains. Taught several kids to ride (and some a few manners) She pulled awful faces at her girth being (even ever so gently) done up but was never grumpy other than that.

What's more they learned to actually ride.


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## AdorableAlice (3 March 2021)

What a shame, with such a difference in behaviour it would be worth running the bloods, assuming you vetted the pony of course.  Sadly there are plenty of vendors who will pop a pill for a viewing.


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## misst (3 March 2021)

brighteyes said:



			I'm guessing you didn't pay a  'paragon of virtue' Pony Saint price...

So much depends on the age and size and type of pony, same for child, your experience, its former life and company. Everyone is cribbing the poor pony and I am thinking the OP sounds a bit naïve with her expectations. Redmone springs to mind and Keira888. Both disaster potential and both happy ever afters.

My kids never had schoolmasters and most people were horrified at my first choice for them (well-known madam of a thing) but I know about ponies and she was their best friend for 9 years. She took them from 'no up-downs' to hunting via Pony Club, XC and SJ, up the beach, round the roads and on holiday to the Welsh Mountains. Taught several kids to ride (and some a few manners) She pulled awful faces at her girth being (even ever so gently) done up but was never grumpy other than that.

What's more they learned to actually ride.
		
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The pulling faces wouldn't bother me - I think it is just a bit of a pony thing.  I remember a dressage judge in our first year writing "not in arena for this movement" (she napped over the white boards and then back in!) and "what a good job you have a sticky bum" - she threw a buck. She finished with "lots to like - this pony will really teach you to ride. Keep up the good work". I still laugh about it now. Pony was 12 daughter was 10  They won a lot together over the years.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes possibly not the right pony, but he was quite expensive and was sold as a first pony. So I did expect a kinder nature.
Am speaking to the dealer to see what we can do.


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## Honey08 (3 March 2021)

I’m glad you’ve had a good chat with your daughter and come to the same conclusion.  This is your hobby and it’s meant to be fun.  Confidence is fragile and this pony sounds like he will chip away at it for your daughter.  Sometimes a riding school pony is completely different in a private ownership environment.  My first pony was an ex riding school pony and he terrified me too.  My parents made me stick it out and that pony taught me half what I know today.  I think my parents were wrong with hindsight though!

One thing I will say though is that it sounds like you’re giving food treats to the pony at the gate?  This is possibly one of the causes of the face pulling you’re getting.  Treats often cause lots of problems.


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## brighteyes (3 March 2021)

Apizz2019 said:



			In my opinion, a true first pony should be the closest you can get to bombproof, adaptable and not easily upset by change in home, routine etc.

After all, you dont take a pony to a show and expect to spend a few days or weeks there for it to settle and perform.

I may be old fashioned in my views but that's what I consider a true first pony. Yes, they may be slightly nervous or out of sorts but never dangerous, which bucking is for small children.

Our first pony for my daughter was a dream on the ground but not consistent under saddle. One day he would take you through anything, the next he had a scary shadow following him.

I can't stress enough how quickly he destroyed my daughter confidence and how long it's taken to build that up again, still 2 years later she's nowhere near where she was when we got her first pony, despite having the perfect first pony now.

We tried everything with her first pony but she wasn't capable enough, he was more of a second pony and it was just the way he was wired.

Very much the same as humans, you cannot change who they really are. You can dumb down some aspects but they either have what it takes to be a first pony, or they don't.

The problem with small ponies is, they're rarely broken and brought on by children these days. More often than not its small capable adults who do this, which results in ponies not wanting little riders bouncing on them, being unbalanced, which most small kids are, and not being given correct aids.

This is the very reason why true children's first ponies are so hard to find and cost a small fortune.

You can't put a price on safety.
		
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You can't guarantee safety unless it's a rocking horse! 

Jeez, the ridiculous expectations thrown about are completely unfair to ponies, who live by their wits and shouldn't be expected to slot into a new life any sooner than any other equine. Seriously! 

I will put good money on the kid being a bit windy, not very experienced and the parent turning the pony loose in a new environment, kid gets scared, scares pony and falls off. Pony gets the blame.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Thanks Honey8, not using treats at the gate, but do need them to catch him, or he pulls a face and puts his rear towards me and runs off if sees the halter.

I understand what you are saying Brighteyes which is why I came to this forum for some advice. I didnt want to make to quick a decision ie wanted to give us time to get used to each other and him to settled. I was looking for others opinions as to whether what we have seen from this pony is normal or a bit too much for a first pony.


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## be positive (3 March 2021)

brighteyes said:



			You can't guarantee safety unless it's a rocking horse!

Jeez, the ridiculous expectations thrown about are completely unfair to ponies, who live by their wits and shouldn't be expected to slot into a new life any sooner than any other equine. Seriously!

I will put good money on the kid being a bit windy, not very experienced and the parent turning the pony loose in a new environment, kid gets scared, scares pony and falls off. Pony gets the blame.
		
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Yes seriously I do expect a proven first pony to pretty much slot into a new home, if the child gets windy it should slow down not speed up and dash past a person on the ground, it should have stood to be tacked up without needing a net at the viewing, I have had plenty of new ponies arrive at my yard over the years and the majority settled in straight away, the true first ponies didn't change from the pony that was viewed, none were rocking horses and all had their moments but they tended to be further down the line once they were doing more, the OP may have expected too much but the child needs a nice natured pony they can spend time with and this pony does not sound very nice, it ended up with a dealer for a reason, the reason may have been genuine but it is likely it was not going to be bought by another PC mum who was waiting for it to be outgrown so it was sent in p ex or similar to the local RS as the easy way out.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Be positive - do you know any first ponies like that avaliable at the moment?! I might be needing one! 😂


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## misst (3 March 2021)

TillyF I think you have to decide what suits you and your daughter. I sympathise so much. I was taken by surprise at how steep the learning curve was for us at the time. I didn't pay a lot for our pony but if you paid top money for a "first pony" you may have bought something "not as sold". I would look carefully at feed/grass (it's growing again) and workload. Then I would be consistent. 
Ponies are funny things. When ours went on loan to a family who already had horses but wanted a PC competition pony for their competent daughter they struggled. I had to go and show them how to put back boots on her as she would raise a hind leg and wave it at them when they tried!! She'd never done that before. I turned up and she immediately tried it with me. I growled and slapped her leg and she put it down. She never kicked or bit but she pulled a lot of faces and had a bit of an attitude. She wasn't for everyone but I was never ever sorry that we didn't give up. 
But I had a confident competent daughter who had ridden for other people and had had the naughtiest sh1tland ever on loan prior to buying this one so maybe it was different for us. 
It was also 25 years ago and people have different expectations now.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Thanks Misst. Yes think my daughter is not far enough along in her knowledge to feel confident with him.


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## Ambers Echo (3 March 2021)

be positive said:



			Yes seriously I do expect a proven first pony to pretty much slot into a new home, if the child gets windy it should slow down not speed up and dash past a person on the ground, it should have stood to be tacked up without needing a net at the viewing, I have had plenty of new ponies arrive at my yard over the years and the majority settled in straight away, the true first ponies didn't change from the pony that was viewed, none were rocking horses and all had their moments but they tended to be further down the line once they were doing more, the OP may have expected too much but the child needs a nice natured pony they can spend time with and this pony does not sound very nice, it ended up with a dealer for a reason, the reason may have been genuine but it is likely it was not going to be bought by another PC mum who was waiting for it to be outgrown so it was sent in p ex or similar to the local RS as the easy way out.
		
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Some ponies are just kind and genuinely look after little people. Jenny was a whizzy pocket rocket but when my friends 7 year old tried her she popped a course of cross poles out of trot. She cantered a stride or 2 before and after then came straight back to trot without even being asked to.  When Izzy lost balance after a fence she had jumped out of a speedy canter she stopped immediately so Izzy didn't fall off. She would not dream of bucking. Ever. 
These paragons are out there but I would never have sold a pony as sweet as Jenny via a dealer. Maybe your local pony club can help. Or ask an instructor to source you one. Dolly has a new potential homes lined up already because RIs who know her have families in mind for her when she's out grown. But they will be waiting a while....


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## Apizz2019 (3 March 2021)

brighteyes said:



			You can't guarantee safety unless it's a rocking horse! 

Jeez, the ridiculous expectations thrown about are completely unfair to ponies, who live by their wits and shouldn't be expected to slot into a new life any sooner than any other equine. Seriously! 

I will put good money on the kid being a bit windy, not very experienced and the parent turning the pony loose in a new environment, kid gets scared, scares pony and falls off. Pony gets the blame.
		
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No, you can't but I wouldn't expect this behaviour of a true first ridden. 

Maybe it is the child's ability, maybe not. 

I have what is a rocking horse s**t pony, they do exist. 

And there are no unfair expectations on him to show, jump, pc etc. Nothing more is expected than a great bond with my daughter and vice versa. 

What I've tried to say is that nothing is bombproof. To expect any pony to be 100% safe, is frankly ridiculous, but I stand by my point in that a true first ridden pony knows its job. 

There can be no ifs or buts when children's safety is at stake.


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## be positive (3 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Be positive - do you know any first ponies like that avaliable at the moment?! I might be needing one! 😂
		
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I know of one that a friend has just brought home from loan, loaners acted very badly, but due to what went on it is not going anywhere now which is a shame because she sounds super, I have not really had that size around for ages so no real contacts and have sold yard so no more coming in, the one I have here is not a first pony although he has done the job I could not let him go as he can be sharp at times so he retired when I moved and will see out his days being a pet.

If you give a rough idea of area someone may be able to point you in the right direction, or who to avoid.


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## TillyF (3 March 2021)

Thanks be positive - south central?


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## be positive (3 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks be positive - south central?
		
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Did the pony come from a RS in Hants?


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## Winters100 (3 March 2021)

I also think that this pony ended up at a dealers for a reason.  When my friend paid a very good price for an 16 year old first pony 4 years ago she asked me if she was mad because she thought that, due to age, she would never be able to sell it once outgrown.  She has just sent it on loan aged 20, only did not sell because she says he is a saint and wants to keep control so he will have a nice retirement when he is ready, and has had several pony club Mum's asking her for a year or more to let her know if she wants to sell.


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## Lady2021 (3 March 2021)

I don’t want to be mean but you don’t sound experience enough to make that decision.  You need to talk to riding instructor and your daughter needs lessons on this pony. Every horse spooks bucks and bolts. Do you feel overwhelmed with horse ownership it sounds there is more to this story than meets the eye.


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## Ambers Echo (4 March 2021)

Lady2021 said:



			I don’t want to be mean but you don’t sound experience enough to make that decision.  You need to talk to riding instructor and your daughter needs lessons on this pony. Every horse spooks bucks and bolts. Do you feel overwhelmed with horse ownership it sounds there is more to this story than meets the eye.
		
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Every horse spooks but a spook can be a spin/run or just a brief easily managed reaction and the degree of trigger for spooking can be very high with a well socialised, calm pony. Not every pony bucks. And I'd never ever keep a bolter. 

The story sounds pretty straightforward to me.


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## TillyF (4 March 2021)

Thanks. Im sad about the current situation & questioning what to do next,  but am happy with horse ownership


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## be positive (4 March 2021)

Lady2021 said:



			I don’t want to be mean but you don’t sound experience enough to make that decision.  You need to talk to riding instructor and your daughter needs lessons on this pony. Every horse spooks bucks and bolts. Do you feel overwhelmed with horse ownership it sounds there is more to this story than meets the eye.
		
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Every horse does not spook or buck, I have known many that have not really done either except when playing in the field, and in all the years I have owned, trained and produced horses and ponies I have never had one properly bolt, a few fairly serious run aways do not count as bolts to me and they have been rare, so your theory is totally off the mark, a first pony may have the odd look/ spook but should not overreact by then tanking off which this one has done. 
I have had numerous that will take a look at something scary and then wait rather than run away even with small nervous children on board, having said that I have also known plenty of not so nice ones that took advantage, one that got down and rolled, one that decided to stop and kick a child that had fallen off when it spooked and bucked, they are not all saints it is deciding which quirks you can either live with or sort out that can be tricky so when one is proving tricky from the start it is usually best to send it back while you still can and find one that has a nicer nature, it may still not be perfect but if it is friendly that is a good starting point.


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## Winters100 (4 March 2021)

brighteyes said:



			You can't guarantee safety unless it's a rocking horse!

Jeez, the ridiculous expectations thrown about are completely unfair to ponies, who live by their wits and shouldn't be expected to slot into a new life any sooner than any other equine. Seriously!

I will put good money on the kid being a bit windy, not very experienced and the parent turning the pony loose in a new environment, kid gets scared, scares pony and falls off. Pony gets the blame.
		
Click to expand...

I don't think anyone is blaming the pony, just saying that it doesn't sound like the right pony for that particular child.  It might be the perfect pony for a child who is a bit further along the road.

Maybe OP was a bit on the optimistic side and make a bit of a mistake, but I am pretty sure that there is not one of us who has not made plenty of mistakes with our horses, and i would expect a good first pony to grind to a halt and wait for the authorities in the event of problems, not buck the child off and run away.

Edited to add that I agree with be positive. My schoolmistress has not spooked once in 2.5 years of ownership.  Of course I would never rule out that it could occur, but in this instance I would not expect it to end with her running away.  If she were smaller she would be a perfect pony for any child, because she has plenty of fizz when someone more experienced rides her, but adjusts to the level of the rider.


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## Ambers Echo (4 March 2021)

All situations are different but i made the mistake of keeping my daughters' first pony despite early warning signs that he was less reliable than we had thought. Also from a dealer. Similar situation - novice kids, pony good at viewing and on paper and assumptions that it was a rider problem not a pony problem. Ended with her in hospital with a badly broken arm within 8 months. Accidents can happen on any horse but this was entirely predictable with hindsight.  The pony was just not reliable.


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## Widgeon (4 March 2021)

Lady2021 said:



			Every horse spooks bucks and bolts.
		
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Well that is total rubbish!

ETA, sorry OP nothing useful to add, I just thought this was total nonsense! Glad you've got lots of good advice here.


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## Pearlsasinger (4 March 2021)

Lady2021 said:



			I don’t want to be mean but you don’t sound experience enough to make that decision.  You need to talk to riding instructor and your daughter needs lessons on this pony. Every horse spooks bucks and bolts. Do you feel overwhelmed with horse ownership it sounds there is more to this story than meets the eye.
		
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Every horse does not spook, bolt and buck!  I have owned horses for almost 50 yrs and during that tie I've had plenty of horses that did none of those things, even when startled (rarely) they would 'jump on the spot' with their feet barely leaving the ground if at all.


ETA, posted without reading Widgeon's post.


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## Winters100 (7 March 2021)

How are you doing with this TillyF?  I do hope that the dealer will accommodate you if you decide to return the pony.

Reminds me of when I was a child and had my ponies at livery with a very well known producer.  Every year we would be allocated ponies to school for selling, and she was marvellous at fitting ponies to children.  She kept a lovely schoolmaster who would always be the first ride of any child who came to the yard to buy, and on many occasions she would tell the parents that the pony that they had come to see would not be a fit.  On the odd occasions that someone purchased and it did not work out she would just take the pony back, sometimes exchanging it for another, sometimes just taking it as a return. They were all quality well-schooled ponies at normal market prices, so she always said that she did not mind taking them back and finding the right home. She is now in her 80s and runs the yard only as DIY, but still rides out every day.


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## TillyF (7 March 2021)

Hi winters100,
Thanks for asking - I have been trying to speak to the dealer the last few days. I will call again tomorrow. She said by text we could sort something out, hope so.
I had a good ride on the pony today, but it was with others, so he was not nervous. At the end I took him a different way to test him out, and he refused 3 times in a 10 minute walk. I got him moving again each time, but did have to be very firm. So still dont feel he is right as a first pony.


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## maya2008 (7 March 2021)

I hope you find the right one for your daughter.  This pony may be perfect for another child, sometimes the match just isn't right.


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## misst (7 March 2021)

That sounds like a good decision on your part - your little one needs to enjoy herself. Fingers crossed the dealer does right by you and the pony.


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## Winters100 (7 March 2021)

Definitely sounds like the right decision, and I wish you good luck in finding the right pony.  It takes a level head and a lot of courage to face the fact that the one you have is not a good fit, but better to deal with it now than further down the line. Well done you.


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## TillyF (7 March 2021)

Thanks all


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## Apizz2019 (19 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Thanks all
		
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How did you get on with the dealer?


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## TillyF (21 March 2021)

Dealer said she would help, but I have found someone nearer who wants to see the pony. Thanks!


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## misst (22 March 2021)

Just a thought TillyF - I would consider the dealer taking pony back rather than selling on. If the pony misbehaves in the new home you could end up in sticky mess. Buyers often are fairly "ok don't worry we can deal with bucking/spooking etc" then when it turns out to be more than they expected they start wanting money back etc.


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## Equi (22 March 2021)

Absolutely don’t sell it on. Let the dealer do that. If you sell it and the other people send it back your stuck with it for life. The dealer would not take it back after it’s already been sold on again.


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## Birker2020 (22 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Hi

He is used to a busy yard, ours is a quiet field with another horse. I dont think he is used to being out alone.

Thanks
		
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I think he might be suffering from separation anxiety.


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## Lexi 123 (22 March 2021)

Could it be that your the pony is like that because he is being given mixed signals. Plus I going to be truly honest   Don’t sell a horse like that it’s will only end in disaster and you will end up in trouble.  if the the dealer won’t take the horse which he doesn’t have  once it it goes over a mouth legally .


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## Amymay (22 March 2021)

TillyF said:



			Dealer said she would help, but I have found someone nearer who wants to see the pony. Thanks!
		
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You still have the pony? 😳


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## TillyF (24 May 2021)

Update - pony sold to a lovely girl who wanted a second pony to do some pony club camps with, they are getting on well. We also found out he used to be a pony club racing pony! So that might explain the bolting off! Thanks for everyone's suggestions


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## splashgirl45 (24 May 2021)

thats good news, good luck with your search for a quieter pony..


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## paddy555 (24 May 2021)

so nice when someone comes back and updates. Glad you are sorted.


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## Spirit2021 (24 May 2021)

That’s a happy ending. I bet you’re daughter is gutted since she just got  the pony . Are you getting another horse 🐴.


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## L&M (24 May 2021)

Brill news


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## OldNag (24 May 2021)

That's really good news, glad it all worked out.


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## Winters100 (25 May 2021)

Well done for facing the problem and taking action.  Never easy to face up to the fact that you have the wrong animal, but for most long term owners it has happened at least once, and it is always better to recognise it and deal with it sooner rather than later.  Your daughter is young, if you find a lovely school master / mistress she will soon forget about this pony, and I hope have many happy years ahead with the right pony.


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