# New horse nerves



## Horses4all (15 May 2013)

Ok so I've just bought my first horse since I was small. I'm now in my 40's. only had him 3 days. I hacked out on the first night and my husband hacked out in the second day. He hasn't put a foot wrong yet despite early days for settling in. Only thing is I'm nervous with him on the ground. He's good in the stable and has manners but at the moment I have dreadful fears that I've committed myself to something I can't cope with. He's great so I know it's my lack of confidence. Has this been the case for other new owners and will I improve ? I want it so much am I being too  impatient?


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## Twinkley Lights (15 May 2013)

Where 'bouts are you hun do you have any other support?  If both you and hubby can hack out then you must be clued up to a level.  Your feelings are normal and there are lots of freelance instructors who will come and work with you at home / livery yard.  

I would be grooming him and walking in hand to build the realtionship.  He must be ok and a good sort if you hacked out so soon in a strange place without major issues? Good luck


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## Horses4all (15 May 2013)

Thanks for that. Yes we are on a yard and the YO been fantastic very helpful but it is our horse and maybe just feeling the responsibility. My husband can't wait to ride tomorrow but its the stable duties and being confined in the stable with him that makes me nervous. As I'm writing this it sounds ridiculous but maybe I'm hoping lots of others feel this way then quickly gather experience and nerve!


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## swampdonkey (15 May 2013)

Hi and congrats on new horse.

I'm sure the more you get to know him and him you, the more you will trust and relax around him.  It's perfectly normal to be slightly wary when you have not been in the game for a while.

For now is there a place that you can tie up on the yard outside so that you don't feel so enclosed?  It might help to get to know him without your fears in the stable.

Good luck and enjoy, he sounds perfect but just take your time, if you met a new person you wouldn't trust them right away, the same for horses really and the more good experiences you and him share the more the trust will grow.


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## RainbowDash (15 May 2013)

Congratulations on your new horse - sounds lovely :-D.

I brought my lad after nearly twenty years away.  He was great to ride but he'd come from a grass livery so was wary in his stable and with me to begin with.  

Tie up in the stable, or outside to groom - take time to get to know him on the ground - walks in hand and loose schooling if you have an enclosed menage.  

It will take time to be comfortable together - afterall you've not known eachother long xxxx


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## EQUISCENE (16 May 2013)

You'll be fine sounds like you have a gem if he hacks out nicely in a strange place from day 1  I would just be spending as much time as possible faffing about on the ground with him building up your confidence as previous posters have said.


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## Lolabay (16 May 2013)

We have owned our new horse a few months now,(We bought her for my two Daughters)it is hard in the beginning as i was and still am a little nervous around horses on the ground. 

Believe me you will soon get in to a routine just take things nice and slow at first.

Good luck


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## Horses4all (16 May 2013)

Thank you all for your optimistic posts! I feel better already. Also I've just had another offer of help from a qualified teacher for ground work so I'm sure that's the way forward )


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## A Musing (16 May 2013)

Lots of sensible advice already.  I'm reasonably competent and have owned horses for the last 8 years or so, and I am still cautious with new horses.  That can be a good thing as it means you're careful, don't take silly risks, take time to get to know them, put yourself in a good situation, and get lots of help and advice.  So no bad thing really.

If you do these things, then hopefully you will feel comfortable that you are being sensible and it doesn't turn into panic or irrational fear, which horsey could pick up on.

I'd def take things slow, maybe have friends or OH around so you have someone to talk to, or talk to the nag, or sing - takes your mind off it and you remember to breath that way!

Def agree re tie up so you feel more in control.

Sounds like you are putting you both in a position where you can make a real success of it, so well done and have fun.


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## Twinkley Lights (16 May 2013)

Horses4all if you are nervy the basics are for new horses until I know them I don't walk behind then in a confined space until I'm sure of their responses spookiness etc.  Also if you are leading / holding try to walk and stand to the side at the shoulder of the horse that way , not that yours will, but if a horse rears their feet arent above you and you are out of shot for a cow kick front kick.  I do think if they are that way inclined you usually know quite quickley.


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## hnmisty (16 May 2013)

I've just bought a new horse after getting the last one ten years ago, when I was 14. 

I had my old pony for almost 12 years, knew her inside out, and trusted her with my life...I have to keep reminding myself that I was nervous when I first had her, it was just so long ago that I don't really remember!

Good luck with your new boy, he sounds great


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## Horses4all (16 May 2013)

Thank you for all your replies. Just to say he was great today hacking with OH and in the school with me. Later we walked into the field and rugged him up while he just stood. I know things will improve as we go on because he's a great boy already. All advice is gratefully accepted. Ill be back with other queries. Thanks guys. Glad I joined


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## squidsin (19 May 2013)

Horses4all said:



			Ok so I've just bought my first horse since I was small. I'm now in my 40's. only had him 3 days. I hacked out on the first night and my husband hacked out in the second day. He hasn't put a foot wrong yet despite early days for settling in. Only thing is I'm nervous with him on the ground. He's good in the stable and has manners but at the moment I have dreadful fears that I've committed myself to something I can't cope with. He's great so I know it's my lack of confidence. Has this been the case for other new owners and will I improve ? I want it so much am I being too  impatient?
		
Click to expand...

I felt exactly the same as you when I got mine three months ago! It hasn't been plain sailing as she has a few issues, so expect a few teething troubles and don't be put off by them as they will generally resolve themselves and become manageable as the horse settles in. It takes a while, just as it would if you send the kids to a new (boarding) school!

I think it's completely normal to feel wary of your horse at first. You don't know it, and vice versa. So don't be too hard on yourself, and don't be afraid to ask your YO or fellow liveries (if you are on a yard) for help as and when needed.


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## Hallage74 (28 May 2013)

These conversations are exactly the reason I signed up for this forum! 

I am about to go and look at a horse with potential to own today - It will be the first time I have had my own horse since I was about 11 ! (now 39 and a half!!)

I am so nervous - not about going to see the horse - but owning it... so really reassuring to know that there are other people - grown ups!! who have similar reservations...

Hope your knew horse is working out!


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## Horses4all (28 May 2013)

Good luck today and I hope it is the horse for you. 
Everything going good here. Baby steps but got him in and took him in the school on my own at the weekend. That was a big step for me. Hacked out in the woods and apart from being a bit worried about 3 mad spaniels and terrified of a rhubarb plant he was a dream! Lol. Even in two weeks my confidence is slowly growing but I still look in the field and can't believe I have this responsibility. However I went to the Yorkshire Game Fair yesterday to watch the equestrian classes and did have a smug owners feeling!!) let us know how today goes


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## DubbleTrubble (28 May 2013)

I did exactly the same as you!

When I first bought my horse, I could hardly eat or sleep for 2 weeks afterwards.  Handy, as it meant I shifted half a stone in weight without even trying 

But now I'm a year on and I can honestly say the more you do, the easier it gets.


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## Gusbear (29 May 2013)

Dear OH

Rest assured you are not alone.  I owned horses for 27 years.  My last horse died in 2007.  I then bought my current horse in February 2012 and he might as well have been the first horse I'd ever owned as I felt like a complete novice and a nervous nelly (and massive numpty) for the first 6 months until we both got to know each other.  I more or less went back to square one when I got him as he is the first horse I've owned that has been so green, immature and in need of a confident handler (which I surely wasn't after 5 years horse free).
It took me about a year to feel really at ease and not stress about having a horse again and also not worry about the time and financial commitment that both I and my OH had agreed to undertake for the next 30 years or so (as under no circumstances will I ever sell my horse). 
Believe me it takes time for you and your horse to get to know, respect and trust one another.  Don't worry, it will happen.
It is daunting owning your first horse (or in my case getting back in the saddle after a break).
But once you develop that lovely relationship with them when you know by their body language whether they want a treat, a scratch or simply a cuddle and you can confidently know what they're trying to tell you; when they recognise you, your voice or even your car driving up and they respond by nudging, neighing or running up to the gate to meet you then there is no better feeling.  
Owning a horse is for many a lifetime commitment and one that is scary and sometimes challenging but believe me it is one of the most rewarding and satisfying things you can do.
Please give it time and I can guarantee you'll be rewarded.
3 days is just the very beginning.  Each day will bring new challenges and also rewards.
Enjoy the fact you are lucky enough to have your own horse to nuture and care for and try not to stress too much about it.
Wishing you lots of luck, happy hacking and and many happy horsey ownership years ahead.


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## Springermad (22 June 2013)

I have just read this thread and it has put a smile on my face. I have always ridden (I am now in my 40's) and on Tuesday my. horse arrived and I feel exactly how some of the posts here have been written. I cant eat, sleep and keep thinking have I done the right thing. I love my new boy but wow I wasn't expecting to feel this way! So after reading this thread I feel kinda normal. lol Any more tips on how to bond would be greatly appreciated.


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## Switcheroo (25 June 2013)

It will take time for you to grow to bond with your horse. I bought my first horse last summer after my loan horse was taken away. I loved my loan horse dearly and though I thought the new guy was cool, I found it difficult to trust him as my loan mare had started off very difficult but come on so well, and we had a great relationship. I had nervous thoughts about handling/riding him at the time but especially understandable for a new horse owner just like you. 

Remember horses are very intelligent animals and all have their own personalities. Think of them as people. Get to know your horse as a person  spend some time going for in hand walks, grooming, lifting feet etc and trying on/taking off rugs and tack. Get a buddy who is experienced to help you. 

Congrats on new horse. Keep us updated.


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