# I think I've lost all my confidence!:(



## coolcurrie (12 May 2015)

well, I am only 15, and I started riding about 6-7 months ago... I know that doesn't sound a lot but I proved a quick learner and within 2 lessons I was cantering then another 3 and I was jumping small cross poles. I've always had a lot of confidence around horses as I've loved and worked with them since I was little, since then I have been jumping higher and higher, doing more work like small bits of dressage, no stirrup work and I was close to try bare back but 2 weeks ago the day I went up I had a bad fall in my first lesson and hit my hip due to an unexpected buck during canter, I got back on and was okay the rest of the lesson and even jumped a 2ft spread the highest I've jumped. in the next lesson I was on a more capable horse who I could do much higher on but at last minute he went from top speed canter to digging his hoof in the ground and refusing at a 30cm jump which was unusual, I went flying over his head and hit my head and again my hip on the pole. I was okay but then last week when I went for my lesson going towards the jumps I was having panick attacks.... I'm really worried as I don't want this to be the end of my riding career and I would just like some tips on how to get my confidence back or how to not feel this way towards jumping which is my strongest and favourite part of riding. thanks x


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## Pearlsasinger (12 May 2015)

TBH, I think you need to find a RS which will teach you to be a well-balanced effective rider not just to sit on horses which jump higher and higher.  I would not expect someone who has only been riding for  a few months to be jumping 2ft spreads unless they were having extremely frequent lessons.  If you are only riding once per week, or even twice, you will not have developed the correct muscles to be an effective well-balanced rider yet.  But I'm sure that with the correct teaching, you will do!


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## coolcurrie (12 May 2015)

i only done that high a jump because my instructor believed that I could do it and I did do it very well, and your not the only one surprised about how far on I am, a family friend who owns horses now let's me ride herd because of it. thanks for the advice I will have a look into what you suggested.


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## Shay (13 May 2015)

There is a lot of pressure on riding schools to get their students cantering and jumping long before they are actually ready.  Schools that keep their students going at the preliminary stages  until they are ready to move up very quickly loose their students to the schools that encourage a faster pace.

You sounds very much like my daughter (also 15) - a really natural balance which makes it seem easy and allows you to progress fast.  Most of the time you feel safe and you look good in the saddle because your balance is good - you fall rarely.  But your core strength - which those of us less naturally balanced rely on - is just not there yet.  You also have less resilience simply because you've not fallen off so much as others might.  Your confidence can be easily knocked.  

Absolutely everyone on this forum has been where you are confidence wise.  And if they say otherwise either they don't ride, are lying, or will be there shortly.  It happens to everyone.  So - first steps... don't beat yourself up about it.  You have come on very quick and perhaps you need to step back a level or two for a short while.  At 15, particularly if you are looking at a ridden career as you suggest, it would be worth looking at doing your BHS stage 1 and / or the pony club progressive tests if your RS is a center.  If they are neither BHS approved nor a PC center you might need to look for somewhere that is.  Both of those will give you the technical building blocks you need to re-build your confidence and to progress further as a rider.  You could also look at a residential training camp - PC camp is obvious but not all centers offer that.  There are others.  Intensive support can make a real difference - and you'll have fun.

You will get back what you have lost for now - but it will be much slower if you keep pushing.  Let it come in its own time and in the meantime distract yourself with things like BHS stages or PC tests.  You have enough pressure on yourself at your age.


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## sianmturner (14 May 2015)

I almost replied to you the other night but I stopped myself, mainly because, a few years ago, I had found myself in a fairly similar situation.  The only difference is that I had been riding the best part of 10 years when I got to the point of jumping and fell off.  I must admit that I was a little shocked at the pace you seem to have picked it up.  And, having just got back to riding myself I can see that you must be pleased with the speed of progression.  

That being said, what is a hobby if you don't feel safe?  Is it fun any more?  I ask this because, I've been back to riding for just under a month; a few lessons a week, and the other week, my instructor said 'we'll have you jumping again in no time' and I said; 'don't threaten me.'  She laughed, took my stirrups away and we did some work without the stirrups.  I don't think being able to go careering around over jumps is what being a good rider is about.  Don't get me wrong, it's part of a progression, but I was once in a class where a 4 year old was riding a shetland pony in an indoor school, broke away from the other horses and went careering around the indoor arena and cleared 5 jumps that had been set up for an advanced class with the child still on board.  She stayed on.  So does that tell you she's ready for jumping?

I'm not doubting your ability here.  What I'm saying is, from my limited experience, there is plenty to riding that is trickier than jumping.  When I had my accident, I'd been jumping in an arena and was literally cooling down when the horse took off with me on.  My position was wrong and I lost my footing and fell off; I've since learnt that, with the correct position, there's a slim chance of falling off so I've made it my mission to work on that; remember I too was jumping before.  

Anyway, I hope my garbled message has meant something to you.  I do understand how you are feeling and, of course, everyone wants to feel like they're doing well and they're progressing fast but if you're coming off there's somethings you need to work on.  Perhaps taking a little step back to those won't do you any harm.  Sometimes, when I go now and do lots of walking and trotting I feel disappointed but I know it's necessary to get my confidence back.  You've got your whole life to become an amazing rider; why try and do it in a few months?
xxx


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## Barnacle (14 May 2015)

You can't become a good rider just by jumping. It sounds to me like your riding school have rushed you into jumping high without bothering that much with the basics and that's why you have had some bad experiences and don't feel safe. A rider with a secure seat doesn't fall off if a horse unexpectedly bucks a little in a canter... Nor do they have well-schooled horses stop dead. You said yourself that was odd for the horse - well it's not the horse - it's you. I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to take a step back and take things slower. If you don't want to change instructors, why not ask for more flat lessons doing no-stirrup work? Have you cantered without stirrups yet? Also, if your parents are willing, I think you should look into a horse share - you sound very confident besides this incident - a horse share with a privately-owned horse will give you a reality check and get you back on track with more sensible aims. (It's also cheaper than lessons, if your parents need convincing, and closer to owning your own horse.)


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## coolcurrie (14 May 2015)

I dont just ride to jump I ride because I want to care for horses and work with them as much as possible as I want a career around them when I am older.


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## Barnacle (15 May 2015)

I know coolcurrie... I think you are doing the best you can for the right reasons. It's your riding school that is going about things the wrong way - not you. You are just doing what you are told.


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## honetpot (15 May 2015)

My youngest daughter rode from four on her very safe pony, and was over confident. I used to tell her to be careful and not take anything for granted, you ride to fall off, that's a certainty. At 7 she fell off her pony, totally unexpected, and broke her arm, from then on although she wanted to ride she saw danger in everything and her pony had to cope with the loudest screams. She was well known at PC, but she went on to horses and hunted on her very safe pony.
   Riding is not just about the doing, its learning not only to control your body, which for someone like me is hard, but being able to understand what the horse is likely to do and preparing yourself for it so are ready to rebalance yourself.
   Your instructor has obviously seen you have natural balance and athleticism  and pushed you to see what you can do, which is not really in your best interests. You had no physical sense of what the horse was likely to do, a warning and then, you did not have the knowledge to prepare yourself, and if you knew what you were doing prevent it. Its not your fault and its not the horses fault, the adult that was supposed to be in control is at fault.
  So you need to find someone who will build your riding on not how fast or how high you can go, but can you control, predict and place the horse where you want it to be which sound boring but that's how you learn to do the really clever stuff. You can still have fun, and you will fall off again and its up to you to decide whether you want to do it. Getting on a horse is never predictable and if it was easy everyone would be a good rider.


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## Mollysue (15 May 2015)

I can totally empathise with your confidence issues. 
My mare bucked me off in canter in September last year due to an incorrectly fitted saddle during a lesson. I kept her at a riding school on working livery. I moved to DIY not longer after it happened and got a freelance instructor and it is only in the last week I have felt my confidence coming back. 
It takes time and you just have to be patient. I had to go right back to basics e.g. riding in walk on a lunge with my instructor. I'm 48 for goodness sake!! 
I used to feel sick at the thought of having a lesson and would try and think of every excuse in the book not to have one
I am very lucky to have found such a patient instructor who has let me do things at my own pace but she also pushes me when she can get away with it as she knows what I am capable of.
You are only 15 so have many many years of riding ahead of you. Just be patient and you'll soon get ya mojo back &#55357;&#56842;


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## highlandpony95 (15 May 2015)

i would take it down a notch, maybe even practice at home some balance moves? have a private lesson and discuss with your instructor the problems your having, take your time i'm sure it will come back to you


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