# Oi!!



## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Stop moving me! I'm all sick! 

And I did mention my NEW HORSE arriving... which counts as EQUESTRIAN!

Pfffft.

More pills.


Gr.


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

What again!!!. So what is your new horse like and why the hell do they keep moving you


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Apparently my love for the FARRIER is not  a general EQUESTRIAN post. TFC was very nice in his PM, but I shall not I shall not be moved again! I shall come at you like a nun!

New horse is a darling... 17.2hh, black TB gelding with a funny piebald tail, 100% bombproof, and PERFECT for teaching on... he just has to put up with a few months of the drugged idiot in the wheelbarrow first...


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## jodie3 (19 November 2010)

So how come they allow 4 pages of 'how tall/how much do you weigh?' and its not even about being too heavy/tall for your horse?

If I'm going to venture into Soapbox better dig out the passport and the hiking boots and a map then......... I may be some time...................


Please tell us more about your NEW HORSE.  I think we need a picture, especially of the piebald tail your NEW HORSE has.


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

What an ex-racer, what do you intended to do with him, when you are fit, off the whelks and lemons(muscles and cockles are good) and FF trimming him. Hunting eventing or showing.


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

B***ger, my passport is out of date and forgot where my hiking boots are. But the NEW HORSE sounds really nice


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Hohohoho!
He is indeed an ex racer, although he last ran about six years ago and has been a master's horse since then!
He's going to be used in the riding school as a confidence giver, mainly for disabled riders, and also for darling Ed should he decide he wants to ride off into the sunset and abandon me in the wheelbarrow!


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Can I have him, the horse not Ed, I may need a ladder but sounds ideal for me. Did he win when he was raced and how about the other horses you have.


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

I don't think he did win when he raced... he's a tad galumphy, but terribly sweet! 

You can only have him if you persuade FF to fall madly in love with me...

Trust me, you wouldn't want the others... they're all a bit mad/stupidly expensive to run!


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

S*dit, sounds ideal for me, but no can do girl. I'm Mid Beds. But hopefully you will be on the mend soon. And he was used for hunting, why is he no longer used for that?


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## jodie3 (19 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Hohohoho!
He is indeed an ex racer, although he last ran about six years ago and has been a master's horse since then!
He's going to be used in the riding school as a confidence giver, mainly for disabled riders, and also for darling Ed should he decide he wants to ride off into the sunset and abandon me in the wheelbarrow!
		
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I'm just chuckling to myself imagining the look on the faces of our RDA group as we lead in the new 17.2 'pony' ..............

Think we would need a bigger mounting block.


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

His owner moved abroad, and he wants a quieter life, so is coming to me to mooch around and be adored by little girls! 

And Jodie3... I teach at an RDA centre where the horse they use for RDA vaulting is 18hh... the looks on parents faces when they first arrive at a vaulting session are priceless!


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Very excited about your NEW HORSE. Nothing like a gentle giant, is there? The riding school at my yard has a big lanky 17.2 ganglebag, and he's an absolute superstar. He can look after a novice like a proper big gent, but an experienced rider can have great fun with him.

Fancy swapping for my 15.1 eejit?


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Oi!! Dibbens I have first call, but if the new horse cann't take to RDA I have first dibs. But how are you really getting on and coping with the yard and horses and how many do you have.


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

I do adore big horses... my current lot are all over 17hh until you get to the strangest purchase I have ever made in the form of the 15.2hh mare who likes to flip over backwards...

Ganglebag is my new favourite word....

ETA - I am managing somehow with the yard! Luckily I got ill before I filled all the boxes, so have been able to chuck my rabble out and let them get on with it! I've got five of my own at the moment, and two liveries who are (luckily) turned away for the winter. The big wheelbarrow is coming in handy!


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

ERRR! Is that the name of the horse


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Haha! No! Sadly he is not bringing up the standard of names on my yard, he's called "Tuffers". Shocking.


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

That's it! His proper name can be .... drum roll please ...

*MORAGULOUS GANGLEBAG!!!*


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Careful.... I'll use it!!

My poor youngster was officially changed from "Sunrise Over Sea" to "Wafting Morag" a few weeks ago... he's fine with it, the woman with CHAPS was not so...


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

You should use it, you did say you wanted to get 'moragulous' into one of their names 

My friend's gypsy mare is CHAPS registered ... as "Page 3 Girl", which suits her, as she is a bit of a tart.


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Moragulous Ganglebag it is....


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Yay


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Girls careful, she maybe heading back to soapbox. I'm asking serious questions and you two are doing a silly wellie dance. HUMPH!!


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

No we're not, EB, we are discussing names for Starzaan's NEW HORSE, who is very _very_ equine indeed. And is a Moragulous Ganglebag.

Starzaan is far too ill to welly dance. But she could tell us ALL about her other horses 

(That better? )


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Haha! What would you like to know my squishy little pickle? I am indeed too ill to do the welly dance, even the tiniest little waft makes me fall down at the moment.. I'm crap!


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## MrsMozart (19 November 2010)

Loving the name 

As the proud owner of The Dizzy Blonde...   

Ah yes. Knew there was something I should mention.

HORSES.

HORSE. HORSE. NEIGH. HORSE. WHINNEY. HORSE. GALLOPING. HORSES. HORSE.

There, that's me done.

Glad you're sounding okay my little whelk encrusted lemon scented morag wafting wheelbarrow riding friend.


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Well done, MrsM, keep us on topic! We shall not, we shall not be moved ...

Starzaan lovely, tell us about all your horses (we're nosy that way); names, ages, colours, breeds, personalities ... shoe size?

Fear not, we will all band together and form a Starzaan Welly Dance Tribute Group.


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## jodie3 (19 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			His owner moved abroad, and he wants a quieter life, so is coming to me to mooch around and be adored by little girls! 

And Jodie3... I teach at an RDA centre where the horse they use for RDA vaulting is 18hh... the looks on parents faces when they first arrive at a vaulting session are priceless!
		
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Wow!!  That would be something to see.

I am very new to RDA and i would love to know where RDA becomes para dressage?

Think I might have to start a new thread.


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

starzaan- while you are in the mood for naming neddies- a very noble equine cause!
may i request ideas for a grey filly connamara that may be landing on my doorstep this weekend?? many thanks in advance


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## Mogg (19 November 2010)

& pics. pics of horses pls Starzaan. there can be no moving of threads cos of them being non-horsey if there's pics of horses, can there?


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			starzaan- while you are in the mood for naming neddies- a very noble equine cause!
may i request ideas for a grey filly connamara that may be landing on my doorstep this weekend?? many thanks in advance 

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My friend has a lovely ISH that she's called Niamh, which I think is nice.


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			My friend has a lovely ISH that she's called Niamh, which I think is nice.
		
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Its a lovely name- however I do know oooh.....6 Niamhs? and two in England that spell it Neave? 

Might just give her a boys name and confuse people?


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Hmmm ... Connie's a bit obvious (although I know 2 Connemaras, a mare and a gelding, called Connie and Connor lol).

I'll have a think. But, be warned, it may be along the lines of Moragulous Ganglebag.


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## Groom42 (19 November 2010)

Thank you for the exciting news about your NEW HORSE - can you pleeeese tell us about all the others, particularly the ones called Whelks, Morag, and Fit Farrier.  Shame the Irish coloured cob called Mechanic has been rehomed, at least you didn't put him in a sale!


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## MrsMozart (19 November 2010)

Oooh, has The Mechanic been re-homed? Sold or loaned? Or just given away due to tendancy to nap and refusal to move off the leg?


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

MrsMozart said:



			Oooh, has The Mechanic been re-homed? Sold or loaned? Or just given away due to tendancy to nap and refusal to move off the leg?
		
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The Mechanic has been rehomed on the orders of my new hero, Dr Spag.

See Starzaan's other thread ... http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=416644

(And comment on it to get it back to the top of the page!)


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

MrsMozart said:



			Oooh, has The Mechanic been re-homed? Sold or loaned? Or just given away due to tendancy to nap and refusal to move off the leg?
		
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i think she got fed up of tapping him with banana sticks to get him out of her personal space


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			I'll have a think. But, be warned, it may be along the lines of Moragulous Ganglebag.
		
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Quite frankly I expect that sort of standard from you? what is the point of promoting you to chief horse namer otherwise!


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Right... you really are nosey aren't you?! Cor blimes... ok... 

Roy - Somewhere Somehow
17.2hh
24yrs
Fleabitten grey (VERY fleabitten!)
Dutch Warmblood x Hanoverian
My horse of a lifetime - was a successful Grade A showjumper in Holland in his youth, specialising in puissance and speed classes. Then went on to have a dressage career at Grand Prix level, and is now my squishy little angel. Has a serious phobia of being tied up standing on concrete, and WILL throw himself on the floor to prove his point. The sweetest and most genuine horse in the world - I trust him with my life even though he's a complete knob with me! He's a dream to hunt, and gets me out of trouble all the time. Nothing phases him - I could ask him to walk over hot coals and he'd try his heart out for me. Box walks, fence walks, blind in his right eye, accident prone, is a very very poor doer and fussy eater, feels the cold like you wouldn't believe, but when he falls asleep with his head in my lap making little whinnying noises, I can forgive him everything. FF is perfectly aware that Roy is the most precious horse on the planet, and that even when he's plunging and snatching his feet away and generally being an arse, he MUST NOT TELL HIM OFF. He's far too important. Spends most of his time saying "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?!?!"

Cooly - Couloir
15.2hh
14yrs
Dapple grey with little brown fleabites on her nosey
TB
Half sister to Frenchman's Creek, so was raced as a youngster. Won once, but was far too careful over fences and basically just bloody slow, so went on to be a broodmare. Had three foalies (all of whom inherited her madness) and then decided that was boring and that she'd start aborting her babies. Sooo.. I got her for the princely sum of £200, with two Rambo rugs! She hadn't been sat on for over four years... and was a complete star! I only had about a year of riding her, as she then had an accident and lost the sight in one eye (yes I'm jinxed!) and the plot was lost with it! She's very definitely a one person horse, and I'm the only person who can get her on a lorry, or anywhere near a stable. I trust her implicitly, but wouldn't trust her with anyone else as she's a real worrier and gets herself in such a tizzy about life. When something upsets her, she tucks her head into the crook of my arm and hides her eyes...which makes me cry!

Kai - Wafting Morag
17.3hh and rising!
3yrs 
Skewbald
Andalusian x ISH
I looked after him as a weanling, and watched him spook and clear a post and rail fence at just 10 months old... managed to buy him two years later! Has no idea how big he is, and is certain that he can fit into my car... nothing worries him at all. I'm sure a bomb could go off in his feed bowl and he'd just eat around the burnt bits. Trots like you would not believe, he just floats along. Bargey, weaves, bolshy, impatient, riggy, general pain in the arse, but was so good to break that he's forgiven. Currently working on manners and seperation anxiety! He is going to be a superstar eventer or dressage horse, but he needs to stop growing first. His new rug has lasted two weeks... and he now needs a bigger one!

Fellan- A Jackanory Story
18hh
12yrs
Chestnut with four white socks, a blaze, and a white splodge on his tummy
Branded Belgian Warmblood
Complete pain in the arse, but the best hunter in the world! Nappy at home to the point of being unrideable - has to be led from something or he won't leave the yard. Jumps anything he's pointed at, and sometimes things he isn't pointed at, including the OPEN yard gate, back end of a pick up truck, and the chicken coop. Spooky, silly, bugger to catch, windsucks, neighs like a boozer who's lost his voice, but once he knows and trusts you, he is such a honey. Loves attention, and would like everyone to know he's the most important horse on the yard, so why are you all talking to bloody Roy?! Lives for Avocadoes...

Scrumps - Scrumptious
13.2hh
34yrs
Bay with two white socks and a blaze
Dartmoor x
My lovely old pony, can break into any car or house, and will give you a wedgie if you aren't careful! Still going strong, if a little slowly, and still loves Diet Coke!


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

My darling puppy decided to tip diet coke all over my laptop... so pictures will have to wait til tomorrow my little squishies!!


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			Quite frankly I expect that sort of standard from you? what is the point of promoting you to chief horse namer otherwise!

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Ooh, that makes a difference ... and I think all our horses should have Starzaan-themed names. Dylan hasn't got a proper name, but I'm trying to come up with one.

I'm now making my thinking face, which makes me look like I'm in a gurning competition.


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## rhino (19 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Fellan- A Jackanory Story
18hh
12yrs
Chestnut with four white socks, a blaze, and a white splodge on his tummy
Branded Belgian Warmblood
		
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Ooh! Do you know anything about his breeding? My boy is also Belgian WB, chestnut and has 'fella' in his name too!


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Oi!!! Stop thinking about names and start thinking about Operation Snare FF. 

Honestly. I type out a bloody essay and you just go off and THINK.

PAH!

ETA - can't make it out to the tack room without my wheelbarrow, so can't look up Fellan's breeding for you, but I know he has Donnerhall lines if that's helpful?


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			Ooh, that makes a difference ... and I think all our horses should have Starzaan-themed names. Dylan hasn't got a proper name, but I'm trying to come up with one.

I'm now making my thinking face, which makes me look like I'm in a gurning competition.
		
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I agree with the theme. however just so you know that my beasties all have names but may be changed if worthy starzaan type themes?

Dave-GAS CRAIC   ( means a good time!)
Oliver- SHAMTASTIC    (refers to his gypsey origins)
Honey- Honey Bee  (the bee is actualy short for beehatch as she is proper naughty!)

New ponio- is grey filly very pretty and has black tail 

Ok? so get your brain in line with your face and come up with something!


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Oi!!! Stop thinking about names and start thinking about Operation Snare FF. 

Honestly. I type out a bloody essay and you just go off and THINK.

PAH!
		
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Flipping eck starzaan! we are doing this to help you snare ff! ffs!
This names malarky is a screen to cover out coded messages so that tfc doesnt realise what we are upto!!!

And anyway dibbin has come up with another corker of an idea for me to snare the lovely vet! and im sure its foolproof? i just need to find someone who can tell me how to cook whelks???


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

Don't you FFS me! I shall come at you like a violent quiche all drugged like and mad.... 


Sadly I'm in the valley of the very very unwell right now and think I need to go and try to sleep. Just had my last injectiony drug of the day and it makes me feel horrendous! 

Night night my squishies, I shall return all vibrant and vivid like little Johnny Boudoir Eyes tomorrow...


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## MrsMozart (19 November 2010)

Are ponies meant to drink Diet Coke?

Mine like tea.

And chocolate.

And bananas.

And fingers.

Hm.

Maybe I should feed them more often


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

This pony will ONLY eat his medicine if you hide it in a gooseberry or a peanut butter and mango chutney sandwich (don't ask me how we discovered this. You don't want to know).

People say horses are rather like their owners... mine are a bit mad... I think people are wrong. I'm all kinds of normal.


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## MrsMozart (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			The Mechanic has been rehomed on the orders of my new hero, Dr Spag.

See Starzaan's other thread ... http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=416644

(And comment on it to get it back to the top of the page!)
		
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Done 

And Yay!


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Mine like beer. But Starzaan's horses sound just like mine, still have the dibbs on the 17.2hh Ganglous.


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## Dubsie (19 November 2010)

They do drink coffee:







Have you any pictures of FF (attending one of your ponies, of course) , so if we see him we can tell him to ask you out?


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

EB - if he doesn't work out I shall definitely give you first dibs on him! But only if you promise to keep his registered nameas Moragulous Ganglebag!

ETA - He's Richard Phillips' farrier... go and google your heart out. He already knows I'm a raging ninny escaped from a bin of idiots, and has read my lust crazed rantings, so a strange woman pouncing on him and telling him to ask me out would probably not surprise him at all...


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Yeh!! and I get tablets down with garlic sausage(dogs that is,works wonders). So how is doing your horses at the moment (are your sure about the FJJ's).


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Sorry WHO is doing your horses at the moment. (forget about FF, seems he's not really interested)


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## Starzaan (19 November 2010)

How depressing! I retract offers of Moragulous Ganglebag for that negative attitude! If you know something about FF and his interests, SPILL!!!

I am doing as much as I can before I collapse, and then the slack is taken up by lovely Ed, my very good friend Sadie, and the sausage wielder...

It's all very exhausting!


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## Echo Bravo (19 November 2010)

Well my mind is exhausted, my OH is in Denmark till Tuesday and have just the 4 dogs to cuddle up to and 2 of them fight, so off to bed, shall dream of 17.2hh Ex-masters horse to go with the rest of my horses(that's why my OH is still working bless him). And the whelks are still on strike, try the cockles


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

You can't retract Moragulous Ganglebag! I'm sure it suits him already 

I think Dylan's proper name could be The Farrier's Friend. As he is always losing shoes, which is why our farrier puts up with all the casual ear licking and bottom nibbling. 

Millyard Rejects - what about *The Waxy Lemon* for your filly?


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			Millyard Rejects - what about *The Waxy Lemon* for your filly?
		
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sounds fab! i shall send off for her passport with new name asap!


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			sounds fab! i shall send off for her passport with new name asap!
		
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But definitely not The Unwaxed Lemon, as that sounds a bit wrong.


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## jodie3 (19 November 2010)

Somehow I knew Starzaan wouldn't have a yard full of 14.3 good-doer, hairy cob types.


_(No offence to 14.3 good-doer, hairy cob types.)_


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## Millyard Rejects (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			But definitely not The Unwaxed Lemon, as that sounds a bit wrong.
		
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 she is hairy though???



jodie3 said:



			Somehow I knew Starzaan wouldn't have a yard full of 14.3 good-doer, hairy cob types.


_(No offence to 14.3 good-doer, hairy cob types.)_

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its because starzaan is freakishly tall? her legs would scrap along the ground if she sat on anything shorter than 16hh??


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## JenHunt (19 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Well my mind is exhausted, my OH is in Denmark till Tuesday
		
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pah! that's nothing.... my OH has disappeared off to India for 2 Whole whelkish weeks.... for WORK!!! He's checking out some hovels and jungle for the company he works for.

Aaaand he's left me behind with a broken boiler.... and we don't have a dog, so think of me sitting with the laptop on my lap just to stay warm! 

Off to put the kettle on for a hot water bottle...


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## dibbin (19 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects - I just think that The Waxy Lemon sounds better  and if people ask her how she got her name you can smile mysteriously and waft away.


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## photo_jo (19 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			- what about *The Waxy Lemon* for your filly?
		
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There is a racehorse called The Hairy Lemon-actually there's also one called Hairy Molly but he's named after a caterpiller.


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## dibbin (20 November 2010)

photo_jo said:



			There is a racehorse called The Hairy Lemon-actually there's also one called Hairy Molly but he's named after a caterpiller.

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If I was going to name my horse after a caterpillar, it would have to be the Very Hungry Caterpillar ...


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## Rosehip (20 November 2010)

OMG Starzaan, have just googled the FF! Hes pretty fit!!! My girlfriend will be most unhappy to hear this!  
On a horsey note, can someone think of a show name for Seren? Shes a welsh b type show pony 12.2/13hh (really must stick her!) and a choccy brown with roaning, very pretty actually!cheers!! x


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## Queenbee (20 November 2010)

MrsMozart said:



			Oooh, has The Mechanic been re-homed? Sold or loaned? Or just given away due to tendancy to nap and refusal to move off the leg?
		
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^^^^^^^^^
  love it


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## Santa Clause (20 November 2010)

after being all upset & depressed about my HORSE not selling, reading this really cheered me up. Reading some of your threads to the mother eariler and she says while your all sicky & damsel in destress like you should write a book I would buy atleast 10 copies


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## Millyard Rejects (20 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			If I was going to name my horse after a caterpillar, it would have to be the Very Hungry Caterpillar ...
		
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there is fan page on fb for this very popular book!!!!




photo_jo said:



			There is a racehorse called The Hairy Lemon-actually there's also one called Hairy Molly but he's named after a caterpiller.

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Bahh the hairy lemon---must have read dibbins posts and  has stolen the name! i shall write to my mp!


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## Echo Bravo (20 November 2010)

Well feeling refreshed from a goodnights sleep, OH rang just when I was tucking into my Egg&Bacon which of cause went cold(he does this every Thursday when I'm reading the H/H). Mind you He and Trev are working pretty hard to upgrade machine. Hairey Lemon is a very nice big bay chaser who did very well to start with but has gone off the boil abit, think either trainer or owner graded him higher than he really is. So you never know Starzaan may inherit him, so she can pass him on to me. Tonight I learnt how to chainsaw wood for the fire, so have two dogs toasting nicely in front of it. My next plan is how to fix car engines, tractor etc:-How is Starzaan doing has she found someone yet to help with the horses?


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## Starzaan (20 November 2010)

Sadly I haven't yet, but I shall keep asking around....

I am still alive, but feeling utterly horridious and poo due to over doing it rather a lot this afternoon and not getting any sleep at all last night... 

I'm currently making myself feel better by watching Nigella whisking carrot cake mix... her morags are flapping around like nobody's business...


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## Echo Bravo (20 November 2010)

Please enough of the morags, no wonder they send you off to SB.


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## Starzaan (20 November 2010)

I calls them as I sees them!!!

And I may have just managed to get roulade in my eye. 

Ow.


A LOT.


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## D66 (20 November 2010)

That will be carrot cake to feed to your HORSE. and roulade - is that a supplement to improve your HORSE'S airs above the ground? Please stay in NL starzaan, I'm scared of SB.
PS Nigella has socks stuffed in her bra so she wobbles more.
PPs Seen the other thread now so know what new horse is like (v nice).  Real life don't half get in the way of virtual reading.


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## Starzaan (20 November 2010)

Of COURSE the carrot cake was for my HORSE.

I had a little teeny tiny sit on him today... and slid off after about five minutes of lying on him while he ate his supper. 

I loathe these little drugolas now. They make me fall off my HORSE.


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## Santa Clause (20 November 2010)

STAARZAN NO MORE SITTING ON HORSES !!!!
atleast not untill nice doctor spag says so, OKAY ?!?!


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## Starzaan (20 November 2010)

Alright alright don't get eaten up by your own bum with the worrying!!! 

I learned my lesson... and feel super duper dreadful and all kinds of crap now. But it was soooo lovely to have a proper cuddle with my Roy boy. Who, incidentally gave me the funniest look I have ever seen when I went from being on his back to being plopped on the floor under his tummy, trying to pull myself up on his rug surcingles... 

I do adore my horse. He's very nice to me when I'm being a blithering idiot.


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## Echo Bravo (20 November 2010)

Somebody should put you in a straightjacket and throw away the key, till your'e better, silly Bat


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## MrsMozart (20 November 2010)

Listen Starzaan, all this HORS(E)ing around has to stop, if only so as your HORSE doesn't get totally confuzzled


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

I think I'd look rather fetching in a straightjacket...


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## Festive_Felicitations (21 November 2010)

After a decent bit of HHO stalking and post hunting I have found pictures of the new ride (FF) you are working so hard to get ....
Lets just say I fully understand why you are putting so much effort in inspite of your delicate state!

Roy (the HORSE) sounds like an absolute sweetie and I'd offer to come and skivvie for you (and give them all their daily doses of hugs - a well known HORSE well being therapy) but it's tad far & cold over there 

May I echo the above comments re- horseing around. Next time you get any ideas about leaving your wheelbarrow remeber:
 'Big Bad I Said NO!' - a rather odd cartoon...

PS to help with the bed, tea drinking and HORSE witdrawral symptoms there is a choccy biccy over here called TimTams that everyone swears blind were designed to be used as straws. If you would like to try some PM me your address.

PPS If you ever decide that FF needs turning out to pasture there is rather alot going to waste around here


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## MrsMozart (21 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			I think I'd look rather fetching in a straightjacket...
		
Click to expand...

Pink?

With sequins?


Of course, a SJ could be used as a BP for when you're riding again


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## MrsMozart (21 November 2010)

Felicity_09 said:



			After a decent bit of HHO stalking and post hunting I have found pictures of the new ride (FF) you are working so hard to get ....
Lets just say I fully understand why you are putting so much effort in inspite of your delicate state!
		
Click to expand...


Oooh, pm me the location!


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

PM us all. Straightjacket pink with sequins HUMM!!!!,sounds like it would suit her


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## JenHunt (21 November 2010)

'twould fit in beautifully with this winter's Military-esque details on jackets


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

Hmmm... I think if there are sequins involved then there definitely needs to be some ostrich feather action...

Now, my lovely friend Diz is the most incredibly talented performance poet in the world, and his band Bad Science are some of the loveliest people I have the pleasure to know.... so I am putting a link to my favourite song of all time, written by mister Dizzle himself... which always makes me feel better, and is working wonders on my sad little self today. 

Mechanic is yo-yo-ing between messages filled with undying love and burning with murderous rage. Strangely, the undying love is easier to bear, as the nasty ones are hitting me right where it hurts. He knows me too well and knows exactly what to say to make me crumple like a wet napkin. 

So here you go my little chickies... love from your wet napkin.


OH! HORSE HORSE HORSE PIAFFE!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bm_tQK2iAw


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Tell Mechanic to butt out, or he'll have the witch pack on his back, getting back to how you are feeling, would a pale shade of lemon and sequins for the straightjacket do? not sure ostrish feather would go. How is your mother coping.


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

I think a pale shade of lemon might be rather alarming against my skin at the moment...

I am currently a pale shade of greyish white, with two black eyes.... my name is Miss Alluring!

My mother is coping very well considering - she's a star, and I think she's actually enjoying having me living at home for a bit... maybe not the dogs so much...hmm... 

She's being very lovely (as are lovely Ed and Gay Matt) every time I fall over and burst into tears like a silly noodle...


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Ok Olive green with black strips should match your complexion. Have you managed to find someone to help out with horses?


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

Ugh. I hate olives...specially the green ones...ughughugh... little blobs of phlegm...

But olive green with black stripes it is...

I have not, but I shall keep looking! Will give FF a few days to settle back into this crappy country and then text him asking him to keep an eye out for a groom for me!!
(SO CUNNING!)


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Clever Biddy


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

That's meeee!!! Cunning stunts... hohohoho


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## HollyWoozle (21 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Ugh. I hate olives...specially the green ones...ughughugh... little blobs of phlegm...
		
Click to expand...

Oh yes, I agree. They are hideous!


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

Holly, we're clearly fluid as if one organism....


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## dibbin (21 November 2010)

Can I join in the organism too? Olives disgust me, they're just ... urgh *shudder*


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Oh come on girls they are tasty, specially with cheese and the colour would be camiflouge for her 2 black eyes and sickly colour, so she'd blend in sort of.


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## Ladyinred (21 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Holly, we're clearly fluid as if one organism....
		
Click to expand...

Jeeeez did I ever manage to misread that


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

If the FCT reads that she straight back to SB, shudder


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## dibbin (21 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Oh come on girls they are tasty, specially with cheese and the colour would be camiflouge for her 2 black eyes and sickly colour, so she'd blend in sort of.

Click to expand...

I think I was just sick in my mouth. I do not understand how anyone finds olives appealing, they're even a horrible colour 

YUCK.

My HORSE (who is like a walking, whiffling, fluffy dustbin) doesn't like them either. I assume. This is just an attempt to keep the thread suitably EQUESTRIAN so we don't get punted. Did it work?


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

You cook with olive oil???? or have olive oil in your salad dressing????? And on your garlic bread??? Guess where it comes from


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## Ladyinred (21 November 2010)

We will have to nag ourselves horse to keep the thread here. We can't have Starzaans saddle slipping so she hoofs it back to SB. The mane thing is to keep on mentioning horses..


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## Starzaan (21 November 2010)

Nope. HATE olive oil. It tastes like OLIVES.


ughughugh little green orbs of vomit.


ETA: HORSE HORSE HORSE HORSE HORSE. 

I love Albion saddles almost as much as I love my farrier.... that help?


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## dibbin (21 November 2010)

Olive oil doesn't taste quite as RANK as olives. But I don't use it much anyway.

Rank rank rank.

My HORSE smelled rank after a 2 hour hack today. 

2 hour hack + canter/gallop + unclipped Dylan = serious EQUINE body odour.


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## Charem (21 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Nope. HATE olive oil. It tastes like OLIVES.


ughughugh little green orbs of vomit.
		
Click to expand...

Couldn't*HORSE* agree *HORSE*more,*HORSE* nasty *HORSE*stuff. *HORSE*I *HORSE*much*HORSE* prefer *HORSE*sun*HORSE* flower *HORSE*oil *HORSE*for *HORSE*cooking. *HORSE*Olive*HORSE* oil*HORSE* is*HORSE* too *HORSE*heavy!*HORSE*


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Body odour was it yours or Dylans But Starzaan I have 2 vets coming on Wed to do my mare's teeth, she's not very good with vets, needles or rasps, although she has mellowed over the years and no longer tries to attack farrier, when he trims her feet. Do you think we may be able to get her teeth done this time????


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Excellent Charmen


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## dibbin (21 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Body odour was it yours or Dylans But Starzaan I have 2 vets coming on Wed to do my mare's teeth, she's not very good with vets, needles or rasps, although she has mellowed over the years and no longer tries to attack farrier, when he trims her feet. Do you think we may be able to get her teeth done this time????

Click to expand...

Definitely Dylan's, I took my riding hat off when we came back and shook my hair out (so it wouldn't keep the shape of my hat, not because I thought I was in a L'Oreal advert), and it smelled like shampoo, not HORSE BO. So there. I resent the implication that I smell.



I jest. Of course, all HORSEY people smell a little bit


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

Hey we've hit on a winner Body deodrant for sweaty horses, then theres the shampoos, hoof glitter and mancour(is that spelt right?)


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## dibbin (21 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Hey we've hit on a winner Body deodrant for sweaty horses, then theres the shampoos, hoof glitter and mancour(is that spelt right?)

Click to expand...

Hmm. The HORSE deodorant, where would it go ...? I can't see it being enough just to put it in the armpits (legpits?) tbh.


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## Echo Bravo (21 November 2010)

No you spray it all over, like lilly of the valley or roses etc:-


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Holly, we're clearly fluid as if one organism....
		
Click to expand...

I too completely misread that! Woohoo!

Also, I cook with olive oil but I use the 'light' olive oil which doesn't have much flavour. I have really tried to like olives but they're just slimey and horrid. 

Also, horses.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

You vulgar creatures! Stop misreading me! You should be impressed that I managed to type a coherent sentence at all with my shakey jakeyness and being all high!

I love the word legpits, so think this HORSE deodorant should be marketed towards legpits....


Also, turn on the forehand.


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## Lady La La (22 November 2010)

Just managed to read through all of this, and the other Starzaan related material  You lot do make me chuckle!
I feel for you Starzaan, you have certainly been through it these last few weeks 
I'm amazed your staying positive!

Also... Sugarbeet.


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## Angua2 (22 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			I too completely misread that! Woohoo!

Also, I cook with olive oil but I use the 'light' olive oil which doesn't have much flavour. I have really tried to like olives but they're just slimey and horrid. 

Also, horses.
		
Click to expand...



I also mis read (madlesbiany here we come) 

I do occasionally cook (with olive oil) but have to say that I have developed a taste for olives.... especially ones marinated in garliky stuff.

very oddly my old farrier wanted my horses hooves marinated in veggie oil


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## Rosehip (22 November 2010)

I like olive oil, but just the sight of olives makes me dry heave! blurgh!!
Oh, half pass....
How is everyone today? Im tired and achy and fed up and want cheese on toast!!! Bah, sorry starzaan, Im pathetic and hijacking! 
Oh, counter change of hand......

Loveing legpits btw!!xx


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## Vetwrap (22 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			That's meeee!!! Cunning stunts... hohohoho
		
Click to expand...

How could we possibly mis-read you?????


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Saw photo of FF, I was expecting tall blonde with a six pack, but he seems a nice enough lad


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## jodie3 (22 November 2010)

Olives are a big no no, yuk yuk.

There is something intrinsically wrong with a fruit (?) that pretends to be  a grape look alike but tastes revolting and nothing like a grape.

I went to look at a *WELSH COB*to have on loan but it had very *SLOPING **PASTERNS* and also was not good to be *MOUNTED*, even did a little *HALF* *REAR* so I sadly said no.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Saw photo of FF, I was expecting tall blonde with a six pack, but he seems a nice enough lad

Click to expand...

How rude!!! He's DELICIOUS. 

He's also so completely wonderful and lovely that even if he looked like he'd run into the back end of a particularly ugly cow I'd still adore him. We have EXACTLY the same sense of humour.... and as he says "we're on the same wavelength".

I'd very much like to be on his wavelength ..... hohohoho!!

Sad to hear about the SLOPING PASTERNS Jodie3.... maybe try a SKEWBALD next time?!


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## Dubsie (22 November 2010)

Just Googled the farrier.  He looks too young.


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

I WANT TO SEE. *grumbles*

For what's it's worth, I think my Frenchman is a FF but I'm sure not everyone agrees! Sometimes they just have something that gets you (no, unfortunately it isn't money in his case... I live in hope).


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

Dubsie I agree that he looks about twelve in that photo... but I assure you he's all manliness and phwoar and big guns in real life...


And Holly, google him you absolute tit!!!

Dr. Spag gave me a little addict's box to keep all my drugs in today. I feel so special. I even kissed him. He flinched.




A LOT.


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Starzaan you need glasses. The way you've raving on about FF, I was expecting a hulk with several 6 packs are you sure he's tall enough for you (you've turned down my suggestion of the FFF's or the FJJ's) and is your Matter still coping with you and said dogs


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

I don't know his name to Google him! And I'm sure his actual name isn't FF...


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## jodie3 (22 November 2010)

don't google Fit Farrier cos you only get very boring results!

if you were interested in HORSE racing and looked at a trainer called Richard Phillips you might see something of interest there


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

I do NOT need glasses. YOU need glasses. I shall have no more badness spoken about FF or I'll suck out your eyes and blow through the holes.

Do not anger the sick person, I've got morphine that I could stab into your pancreas.... 

He's BEAUTIFUL. 


Inside and out. (VOM VOM VOMMY VOM VOM)

And he makes me laugh.

And when he says something nice to me it makes me squeak. 

So BLEUGH in your general direction. 


Holly, I  have told you TIME AND TIME AGAIN that he is Richard Phillips' farrier. Sort your life out. 

My Mumsie is coping very well with me... I just wobbled downstairs to get a drinky to find her on the floor with the puppy, saying that she has just discovered that if you squish the bit just above his eye with your thumb, he makes a funny noise.... 


All normal then. 







Cor blimes, I did a whole lot of nothing today, and feel a bit better for it... I might start obeying the Spagster...


Might..



OH!!!! ETA: HORSE RACING. PIAFFE. SPAVINS!!!!


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

Well I think he looks rather cute! In an entirely masculine way of course, with big, rough, manly farrier hands. Doesn't sound tooooo bad to me! Fair play to you, Starzaan, FAIR PLAY. I support you in this venture.

I feel much better about life now I've seen him.

ETA: I hope this FARRIER doesn't HALF PASS you by.


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

Your FF (HORSE SHOEING PROFESSIONAL TYPE PERSON) is rather cute. 

An alarming thing happened with my farrier today. I phoned him. And he answered. He NEVER answers the phone. EVER. I feel like the chosen one now 

Unfortunately my horse got kicked and is now lame. Not by the farrier, obviously.

Also ... HORSESHOES.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

He's more than cute my darling.

He's squishy and rugged and perfecto...


I wonder if the words "squishy" and "rugged" have ever been used in such close proximity before..hmm... cor I'm breaking down all sorts of barriers here. I'm like a demolition ball of language, or some **** like that.

Also, my HORSES had their yard all painted and finished today. Smartness defined. (not that I went outside and looked at all..nonono, I of course did as Dr. Spag told me and stayed in bed being all glum and bruised)


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

You must be looking through two black eyes and sunglasses as well and pigs are flying if you say you stayed indoors,when you know your stables are looking good,so you must have checked, cann't your mother put the straightjacket on you and chain you to the bed


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

I think they gave up on keeping me in bed when I was in ICU on Sunday and decided to go waddling off with my drip stand to find some orange juice... forgetting that I was also hooked up to a heart monitor, a thingy on my finger, and had a central line in my neck.... 


Ouch a hundred times over is all I can say! AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET THE ORANGE JUICE!


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

If you are almost bed-ridden... have you considered sexy nightdresses just in case the FF happens to stop by?


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

I like olives stuffed with chilli and garlic? yummy..
Neddies do have sunflower oil and garlic powder in their dinners? 

Reminds me starzaan ive got to call my farrier this week hes not anything like your ff, for starters hes shorter than me, is a ginner and likes trotting horses!! yeugh!!!!
 if I cant get him could you recommend a good farrier?  not for stalking-just trimming ponios tootsies??


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Olives stuffed with garlic and chillies yummyStalk all you want Millyard rejects as she cann't do nowt about it.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

Course I could... use mine! As long as you promise not be sexy in front of him... that's my job...


(I actually just snorted at the thought of myself being sexy... this is not good.)


ETA: EB you cheeky sod! I can cry and do big sad eyes at you!!!


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Yer But, No But, as you have to black eyes, crying will only make them worse and it's your own fault about several persons wanting to stalk the FF.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

Bugger.

Please excuse me while I think of something suitably cutting and splendid to say to you to shove your bum off that high horse.

















nope. Nothing.

*******s.


also, I ran out of chaff today, my HORSES were not happy.


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

YE GODS!!!!!!!!! You must be feeling bad No sarcasm??:eek. Shall go and have a word with the Whelks, the mussels and cockels.


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			YE GODS!!!!!!!!! You must be feeling bad No sarcasm??:eek. Shall go and have a word with the Whelks, the mussels and cockels.

Click to expand...

I assume you'll also be having a word with the HORSES, PONIES, DONKEYS and other ASSORTED EQUINES?

Pasterns!


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Yep we are all in agreement, to send you a large jar of stuffed Olives.


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

This topic makes me snort.


...like a HORSE obviously.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Olives stuffed with garlic and chillies yummyStalk all you want Millyard rejects as she cann't do nowt about it.

Click to expand...

I do not wish to stalk the ff- I already have a lovely vet to stalk...aherm  investigate..and Farriers always have weird spines from all the bending over?



Starzaan said:



			Course I could... use mine! As long as you promise not be sexy in front of him... that's my job... 

I cant do sexy while hanging onto nutty pony have tried when lovely vet was here

Click to expand...




Starzaan said:



			also, I ran out of chaff today, my HORSES were not happy.
		
Click to expand...

Thats ok Nutty pony cant eat at the moment due to his new vice of choking! so I will send you new bag of chaff- is original ok? and is the horsey theme still working?


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

The SEA Horses didn't want to comment


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

I can understand them not wanting to be involved.

Stirrup bars.


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

EB - aren't I the one on the drugs?!


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## Cavblacks (22 November 2010)

S,

I have been following your posts and thought of you the other day when I walked into camp to go riding, HCMR has a FF!!!! Get better quick, and come see  

I walked past the forge and nearly fainted in his manly godliness! 

Wishing u better very soon ... REST.... x


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

We might all be on drugs.

My tutorial today was adjourned (check out my grasp of the legal-type lingo) to the student union because it was our tutor's birthday. Best tutorial yet!

ETA: Canter pirouette. To the left.


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Yep!! But my OH home tomorrow night from Denmark so finishing of the bottle of wine


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

that reminds me!!! the flipping shop with all the little glittery things-sold the rocking horse!!! hes been there 3 years and they sold him!!!!!! someone paid 1,200 euro for a rocking horse!!!!! he was soooooo lovely though, good to shoe box and clip by al accounts


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

For that price you could buy 2 decent horses at the moment


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			For that price you could buy 2 decent horses at the moment

Click to expand...

I know! !
 but he was lush...bay with long flowing mane and tail...if hed been real Id have pulled and trimmed it but looked good on him! 
everytime we went in the shop we all touched his neck or his muzzle! went in today puffft! gone!!
so asked lady behind counter where he was thinking moved him for christmas stuff...she said he was sold..woudnt tell me where so couldnt check if they were right sort of people to own a rocking horse


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Hope the lucky kiddy knows what he's got for Xmas.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			For that price you could buy 2 decent horses at the moment

Click to expand...




Echo Bravo said:



			Hope the lucky kiddy knows what he's got for Xmas.
		
Click to expand...

 I would die if I thought a child was getting that!!! its not a toy shop sort of thing more of a " got more money than sense " kind of thing 
the shop sells all kinds of antiques and I want to say nik naks but its more expensive than that?? cheapest thing in their is probably the doormat??

uness you suprised me and bought it for me??


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

I'm quite partial to a nice rocking horse. Much less hassle than the real thing


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## Echo Bravo (22 November 2010)

Well if they have more money than sense, I'm glad they bought the rocking horse and not a real one.


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Well if they have more money than sense, I'm glad they bought the rocking horse and not a real one.

Click to expand...

If I could "Like" that, I would. In fact I will.

I LIKE IT.

Suitably equestrian for this thread, I think.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			If I could "Like" that, I would. In fact I will.

I LIKE IT.

Suitably equestrian for this thread, I think.
		
Click to expand...

Totally!!

Maybe we could get starzaan one? then she coud be wafting her morags in front of ff and not be on a real horse risking serious injury if she fell off with all the drugs? 
we could just scatter cushions around the rocking horse in case she did fall off  then its soft landings and also comfy spot for getting ffs attention??


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			Totally!!

Maybe we could get starzaan one? then she coud be wafting her morags in front of ff and not be on a real horse risking serious injury if she fell off with all the drugs? 
we could just scatter cushions around the rocking horse in case she did fall off  then its soft landings and also comfy spot for getting ffs attention??

Click to expand...

Yup, she could pose on it and be all gorgeous and stuff, we'll get inflatable mattresses. And she can hook her drip bag over one of its ears ...


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## jodie3 (22 November 2010)

Would we need to take the straitjacket off first do you think?


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

jodie3 said:



			Would we need to take the straitjacket off first do you think?
		
Click to expand...

Maybe, she might balance better with her arms free.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

jodie3 said:



			Would we need to take the straitjacket off first do you think?
		
Click to expand...

not sure on that one??....if we leave it on it becomes a health and safety risk? and advocating said H&S risk could get the thread pulled? 
But if we took it off...who knows what might happen.. an unstable pair of morags and a drug controlled starzaan could be an even bigger risk??
maybe we should vote?


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Yep!! But my OH home tomorrow night from Denmark so finishing of the bottle of wine

Click to expand...

Mine is home from Singapore on Thursday... I have finished off the bottle of martini.

Also, I approve of Starzaan + rocking horse!

Like this?







ETA: FLYING CHANGE.


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

We could always replace the straitjacket with a BODY PROTECTOR (specially designed for HORSE RIDING), that would restrain the morags and comply with the Health And Safety For Drugged Up Equestrianists Regulations. Yup.


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			We could always replace the straitjacket with a BODY PROTECTOR (specially designed for HORSE RIDING), that would restrain the morags and comply with the Health And Safety For Drugged Up Equestrianists Regulations. Yup.
		
Click to expand...

Ok, imagine the corset in the photo is in fact a body protector. HOT.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

MMMM...that could be a little understated for starzaan? 
maybe more plumes? or tassles???


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## jodie3 (22 November 2010)

Hollywoozle - that could be the perfect outfit for her!  Could we substitute Roy for the rocking HORSE when she is feeling better?

(I am a liitle worried about some of the er alternative sites fellow HHOs appear to spend too much time on though)

Dibbin - an excellent reply as always!

(Although of course we would recommend she was wearing a correctly fitted approved riding hat at all times whilst mounted on the horse)


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## Starzaan (22 November 2010)

Sadly my body protector is probably rather more raunchy than that fine corset.... every time I go over a fence my morags burst out of it and flap around with wild abandon...


I am still very much in the tweed coat, knickers, wellies (two sizes too big for optimum skinnylegness) and morag tassles camp.... You'll have to do some more persuading. 

I also think FF might cry and vomit if he saw my arms and legs right now... they are all covered in druggie bruises and I look like I've bumped down the idiot tree. Hitting every tiny little twigletina on the way down....

ETA - my hair would get all flat if I was wearing a hat... sod health and safety. I'll NEVER seduce my farrier if I start worrying about health and safety!


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## dibbin (22 November 2010)

I have an image of a BP with built in morag tassels ...ROFL.

Also, shoulder in.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			I have an image of a BP with built in morag tassels ...ROFL.

Also, shoulder in.
		
Click to expand...

whats the colours? if the bp is blue what colour morag tassles??

see its stil horsey now we are talking about bps with tassles and team colours!!


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Nope. HATE olive oil. It tastes like OLIVES.
		
Click to expand...

I'm assuming then you wouldn't like a bowl full of Hot roasted (homegrown) sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips, roasted with honey, wholegrain mustard and OLIVE OIL?



dibbin said:



			I have an image of a BP with built in morag tassels ...ROFL.
		
Click to expand...

I quite agree, though I had it in Black and Red....

half pass left, half pass right, piaffe piaffe halt, salute and leave the arena at free walk on a long rein

I swear you lot are only on here when I'm not... I think you're all trying to ignore me!!..... 











Well you Can't.... 














So There!




ETA  hope you're feeling a bit better Starzaan


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

jenhunt said:



			I'm assuming then you wouldn't like a bowl full of Hot roasted (homegrown) sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips, roasted with honey, wholegrain mustard and OLIVE OIL?
		
Click to expand...


yummy!


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

indeed it was... left overs from yesterday reheated... even better (always feels like free food!)


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

jenhunt said:



			I'm assuming then you wouldn't like a bowl full of Hot roasted (homegrown) sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips, roasted with honey, wholegrain mustard and OLIVE OIL?
		
Click to expand...

I only ate weightwatchers tortilla chips and salad for dinner...







GIVE ME THE BOWL (please). 

Also, full cheek snaffle.


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			I only ate weightwatchers tortilla chips and salad for dinner...
		
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thats not food!!! thats bunny fodder!!!
go eat a steak pie and stop been daft!!



ouch...that cavaletti was too high!!


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			thats not food!!! thats bunny fodder!!!
go eat a steak pie and stop been daft!!



ouch...that cavaletti was too high!!
		
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I set myself a weight target for Christmas (it's not a daft target) but my weight is staying the same to within 1/4 of a pound! Even though I have been eating far less, exercising more etc. I have lost weight many times before but this time, I think my scales are teasing me...


Mmm, pie.

EXTENDED TROT.


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

It'll all catch up with you! 

My friend (who had loads to loose and has lost 3stone already!) came for a walk with us one weekend, did about 8 miles and had been really good food wise all week but put on 3 pounds... the following week she lost 6 pounds!

Oats, barley and sugarbeet ought to do the trick!


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			I set myself a weight target for Christmas (it's not a daft target) but my weight is staying the same to within 1/4 of a pound! Even though I have been eating far less, exercising more etc. I have lost weight many times before but this time, I think my scales are teasing me...


Mmm, pie.

EXTENDED TROT.
		
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scales are rubbish...well mine are but they went haywire after I weighed the shetland for her wormer!!
They now say the kitten weighs a hundred million stones!  she doesnt really shes about 50 million


RIDING SCHOOL OF VIENNA


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

jenhunt said:



			Oats, barley and sugarbeet ought to do the trick! 

Click to expand...

Id suggest swapping sugerbeet for golden syrup? makes a lovely flapjack!

Stringhalt


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## HollyWoozle (22 November 2010)

Mmm, flapjack.

(Great HORSE treat too).


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

ditto Holly.... mmmmm flapjack....

chronic obstructive pulmonary disease is caused by a dusty stable environment


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

leads me to my next question..


straw or shavings?


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

woodpellets


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## Millyard Rejects (22 November 2010)

jenhunt said:



			woodpellets
		
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damn it theres always one flipping nutter on these threads! 



saddle soap


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## JenHunt (22 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			damn it theres always one flipping nutter on these threads! 



saddle soap
		
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and its usually me! 






numnah


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

Shavings definitely. 

I think black and red is a good call for the Team Starzaan BP. Can we have sparkly bits on the morag tassels?

jodie3 - of course Starzaan should  wear a correctly fitting hat which conforms to current safety standards. With an ostrich feather on it.

Also, my HORSE hurt his check ligament 2 years ago but has recovered well.


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

How about black and blue for team colours with the odd splash of olive. WeightWatchers beef in red wine is good and only 300 cals, great for lunch Dreading tomorrow when the vet comes to try and do my mare teeth.


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## Angua2 (23 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			How about black and blue for team colours with the odd splash of olive. WeightWatchers beef in red wine is good and only 300 cals, great for lunch Dreading tomorrow when the vet comes to try and do my mare teeth.
		
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Mmm that sounds rather yummy...I have just got cheese and ham sandwiches for lunch 

OK was thinking about the effect the BP has, and wondered if an exocage BP would be bettter for containing those rogue morags.  Some sequins and ostrich feathers would finish off the  effect.

Mmmm I had to endure the vet visit, however I voluntarily took said mare there for the teeth and Jabs trauma


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

WHOOPS!!!!! I over did it BIG STYLIE this morning... having rested aaallll day yesterday I woke up feeling much less wobblesome... so decided to go and try and do some things on the yard.... I may have put eleven beds down... and then fallen over in a heap on my shavings fork.... 

Thank goodness gay Matt was with me to scoop me up and carry me back inside, whilst I beat his chest in a feeble way and shrieked like a harpy about how I needed to finish that box and then sweep or I'd die just to spite him! Ended up going BACK to bloody hospital to get a drippy thing put through my arm, because apparently I was beginning to talk utter tripe and my eyes were rolling around in my nonce....

So now I'm BACK IN BED, AND BORED. And I will NOT be doing any more horsey things until I'm better...nononono no no. NO. 

But it is so dreadfully dull being a drugfaced loon.






Also, laminitis.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			WHOOPS!!!!! I over did it BIG STYLIE this morning... having rested aaallll day yesterday I woke up feeling much less wobblesome... so decided to go and try and do some things on the yard.... I may have put eleven beds down... and then fallen over in a heap on my shavings fork....
		
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Woman! You're MENTAL. Stop it! Everytime you try to do too much, you are prolonging the time you are banished to bed looking bruised and forlorn and therefore prolonging the time you are less likely to encounter sexy FF.

STAY IN YOUR BED (and demand to be waited on hand and foot).

ETA: Consider yourself on BOX REST.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Ooof.

I feel a little bit like I got hit by a truck full of fat Turkish men....


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## Vetwrap (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Ooof.

I feel a little bit like I got hit by a truck full of fat Turkish men....
		
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Hmmmm...

You really need to get your FF better trained to answer to your every whim...  That way, you could spend all day lying recumbant on your Chaise longue in your diaphanous wraps and gowns (and star spangled BP with extra large tassells) as opposed to being shoved round in your wheelbarrow in wellies two sizes too big!) - with FF mopping your fevered brow...

Hmmm... maybe overdone the Mills & Boon again...


Only just caught up with SB threads - heard the mechanic went to the scrapyard???

Good call by the sounds of it!



ETA - Straw or savings?
Megazorb

Ooooooo!  contraversial!


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Mechanic did indeed go to the scrap yard, but alas, FF still not appeared to tell me he's ditched the trout and has brought me grapes and love...



Poo. 




Also, counter canter.


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## little_critter (23 November 2010)

Rather slow off the mark here but I was thinking the other day that with all the FF's and FFS's on this thread I'm starting to feel like I'm in Silence of the Lambs.
Pass the fava beans and the chianti will you.

FF FFS FFS FF FF FFS!

ETA: CHAFF and WHICH SCHOOL SURFACE IS BEST?


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## Vetwrap (23 November 2010)

Perhaps FF has had a blow to the head and is totally unaware of your admiration?


Arguably, if he hasn' already had a blow to the head, he probably deserves one by now.


The trout definitely does...





School surfaces?  Don't mind as long as they are soft and comfortable when I hit them at speed.  Would like padding on the walls on the indoor school as well.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

FF is ALL KINDS OF AWARE of my love for him.... even if he hadn't read the rantings of this particular mad woman (which he very much has), it is blindingly obvious.... 
I am in fact a blithering idiot when around him. I snort when he says nice things, my voice climbs about twelve octaves, I talk an impressive amount of crap at times, and I spend an unhealthy amount of time gawping at his bum and his arms.... quite possibly drooling.


So, I think we can safely say that he is perfectly aware that I want to rip his chaps off and do bad things to him in the HAY BARN.

Indoor schools... hmm... I've just bought a waxed sand a carpet fibre mix to go in mine... I even went and made a point of falling over in a school with the same surface before I bought it.... I made a soft thud, and no bruises.


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## D66 (23 November 2010)

hiya Starzaan,
Hope your propped up in bed learning to knit round corners. Try knitting a TURNOUT RUG that should keep you busy.  BOX REST is no good if you hoon around in the yard when you're let out to stretch your legs. 
Rule 1 in most yards is that no-one is allowed to muck out whilst attached to a morphine drip.  But you can wear a BP with tassels and smurf the interweb *and* drink hot chocolate and marshmallows.


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

Has he ever brought it up with you, in conversation?
Like...

"So err, you like me a bit then?" If not, I hope he does! I can almost hear the awkward silence from here...

Which leads me on nicely to my next topic, Hoof Oil...


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

How did I forget about marshmallows?!?! What's WRONG WITH ME?!?!?

Cor blimes... have just sent gay Matt to buy me marshmallows. This would be easy if I lived in normal land, but the nearest shop is six miles away... he's very useful.... and very, very tolerant...



I hope he gets pink ones.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Lady La La said:



			Has he ever brought it up with you, in conversation?
Like...

"So err, you like me a bit then?" If not, I hope he does! I can almost hear the awkward silence from here...

Which leads me on nicely to my next topic, Hoof Oil...
		
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He has not...... I also rather hope he does. I can't possibly make more of a knob out of myself than I already have, so I think we're safe there.

I don't do awkward silences, I do awkward fillthegaps...  I spout an alarming amount of jibberish in an attempt to fill awkward silences, and can end up making people cry and back away. Try it.


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

I'm a little bit guilty of that myself, so you're not alone...
On the first ever date with my OH, there was a pause in coversation due to him taking a sip of his beer and in that few seconds I managed to shout a random string of words at him, have a choking fit and then rush outside for a cigarette. He actually came outside to see if I was alright 

What about you telling him? I'm thinking something along the lines of...

"So, Im making a movie. It'll be staring X and Y and is basically about how I'm a little bit mental, and ever so in love with you. I get sick towards the end and there's a big romantic finish whenre you come back from abroad and sweep me (very gentley) off my feet and we both have fun time in the haybarn  " 

I reckon it'll work, and he'll confess his undying love for all things Starzaan 

Equine Dentist.


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

Starzaan, you are officially on box rest, with no walking in hand (or being ridden ... hee hee) until you're up to it. I will come all the way there and cold hose you if I have to 

Speaking of which, exercise sheets.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Lady La La said:



			I'm a little bit guilty of that myself, so you're not alone...
On the first ever date with my OH, there was a pause in coversation due to him taking a sip of his beer and in that few seconds I managed to shout a random string of words at him, have a choking fit and then rush outside for a cigarette. He actually came outside to see if I was alright 

What about you telling him? I'm thinking something along the lines of...

"So, Im making a movie. It'll be staring X and Y and is basically about how I'm a little bit mental, and ever so in love with you. I get sick towards the end and there's a big romantic finish whenre you come back from abroad and sweep me (very gentley) off my feet and we both have fun time in the haybarn  " 

I reckon it'll work, and he'll confess his undying love for all things Starzaan 

Equine Dentist.
		
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Oh my goodness... I'm actually a little bit in love with you now....

I think I need to grow some big brass ones before he next shoes my horses....

this could be a plan...


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

Starzaan, all you need is to STRAP THESE ON ...









Also, white line disease.


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

:



Starzaan said:



			Oh my goodness... I'm actually a little bit in love with you now....

I think I need to grow some big brass ones before he next shoes my horses....

this could be a plan...
		
Click to expand...

Just attach a pair of waxy lemons to your jods and off you trot?

Failing that - a G&T works wonders for confidence. Although you might want to wait until you're morphene free before you start abusing the alcohol cabinet


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Dibbin, I think I'd prefer to strap on a pair of wax free lemons... in the interests of decency and all that jazz...


And sadly I'm on SUCH hardcore drugs for the next few months (yes, months. yuck yuck bugger bugger and bum) that there will be no drinkies for me for the forseeable future. Not even on Christmas Eve. Which, incidentally is my 21st birthday.... 

HOWEVER.... the drugs make me feel pissed as a fart all the time, so in a way, it's win win win....

I want someone to come and play scrabble with me. Everyone here is either boring or canine.


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

I'm trying to think of a game we can play to keep you entertained...



I'm failing...


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

Decency? Pah, I laugh in the face of decency. They're brass and everything!

I'm sure my GELDING would like a pair.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

I have a game!!! It's called "convince FF to fall madly in love with Starzaan".

The winner gets a magical prize full of goodness....


ready?


steady...



GO!!!


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

starzaan said:



			i have a game!!! It's called "convince ff to fall madly in love with starzaan".

The winner gets a magical prize full of goodness....


Ready?


Steady...



Go!!!
		
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lady la la said:



			i'm a little bit guilty of that myself, so you're not alone...
On the first ever date with my oh, there was a pause in coversation due to him taking a sip of his beer and in that few seconds i managed to shout a random string of words at him, have a choking fit and then rush outside for a cigarette. He actually came outside to see if i was alright 

what about you telling him? I'm thinking something along the lines of...

"so, im making a movie. It'll be staring x and y and is basically about how i'm a little bit mental, and ever so in love with you. I get sick towards the end and there's a big romantic finish whenre you come back from abroad and sweep me (very gentley) off my feet and we both have fun time in the haybarn  " 

i reckon it'll work, and he'll confess his undying love for all things starzaan :d

equine dentist.
		
Click to expand...



we'veplayedthisgamealready...


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

And my prize is??

It better REALLY be magical.

You better not have lied...


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## Rosehip (23 November 2010)

Starzaaaaaaaaannnnnnn! I need some of your druggies! 
Having very nearly missed serious damage TWICE today - once at the HOOVES of a HORSE - I think I deserve morphine....or diazapan....or anything that makes me stop shaking and being scared! 

Tell you what, PM me the FFs flaming number, and Ill call him - Introducing myself as the madlesbian of course - and tell him to go and lick your face...NOW...IMMEDIATELY.... and have a sausage off your poor mother!

Bum...I make NO sense!!! 

Tempi changes...


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## Trolt (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			ready?


steady...



GO!!!
		
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Incidently the names of my three loan HORSES 

Now please text FFH and say you are bored and need company and invite him and FF over for some scrabble playing? I'm sure your mother could weild a sausage or two. Then no awkwardness as FFH is there to chat too. 
FF will see how close to death you are, declare undying love (FFH will of course know how much FF adores you). FFH will leave, and FF will clasp you gently to his chest. You can then 'LIKIT' his face. 
Tell them they must also bring pink marshmallows or you will die just to spite them.


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## Rosehip (23 November 2010)

Trolt said:



			Incidently the names of my three loan HORSES 

Now please text FFH and say you are bored and need company and invite him and FF over for some scrabble playing? I'm sure your mother could weild a sausage or two. Then no awkwardness as FFH is there to chat too. 
FF will see how close to death you are, declare undying love (FFH will of course know how much FF adores you). FFH will leave, and FF will clasp you gently to his chest. You can then 'LIKIT' his face. 
Tell them they must also bring pink marshmallows or you will die just to spite them.
		
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O.M.G!!!!! I lovelovelovelove this idea!!!!! You are clearly a genius!!!!! Starzaan, this is a sure fire winner!!!!!!!!


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## D66 (23 November 2010)

As no-one else is ready I will start off by putting "haflinger" across the middle. that will score about 32.
I presume that we will be playing the Starzaan version where only horsey words may be used and any word with a double "f" scores an extra 50 points. Because there are so many potential players and it is difficult (50 points!) to pass the bag of tiles to each other you can use whatever letters you like- but of course there's only one "q".


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

In which case I will put the word "Chaff" vertically, using your 'F' digger...


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## Trolt (23 November 2010)

Rosehip said:



			O.M.G!!!!! I lovelovelovelove this idea!!!!! You are clearly a genius!!!!! Starzaan, this is a sure fire winner!!!!!!!! 

Click to expand...

*bows* why thank you 

I will take the g from haflinger and make garlic


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## Lady La La (23 November 2010)

I'll take the c from Garlic to make carrots but I'm a little gutted...

I was rather hoping for another horsey 'double f' word, but my brain has failed me YET again.

Could I have coffee? I drink it at the yard?

Edited to say... I'm taking this a little too seriously, aren't I


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## Trolt (23 November 2010)

Edit - Grrr just realised my FF word was already used earlier  

That'll teach me not to look at everypost

*thinking HAT back on*


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## jodie3 (23 November 2010)

SNAFFLE (for scrabble)

When you are released from BOX REST I think you should only be allowed out into a very small PADDOCK, probably with HOBBLES on to stop you breaking into a TROT.

You can play scrabble on-line.


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## D66 (23 November 2010)

snaffle is ace! all I can think of is piffle, which is what my instructor said when I said I couldn't do sitting trot. 
I bet you can't play starzaan scrabble online


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Scrabble online ISN'T THE SAAAAMMMMEE. I require COMPANY and laughy laughs.
HARRUMPH.


Lady La La, this game has not already been played - in THIS game it's YOUR job to do the persuading, thus allowing me to return to my mountain of pillows and recline in my skimpy FF attracting nighty thing...

I don't know if I want to see FF now... a friend came over to bring me crabapple jelly earlier (he knows me FAR too well!) and actually flinched when he saw how rough I look, then proceeded to tell me EXACTLY how rough I look, and how I resemble something he'd scrape off a shovel...

OOOOOHHHHHH TRILEMMAAAAAAAA

Rosehip...careful.... I am at the stage of trying ANYTHING now... and of course you can have some of my druggies.... c'mere darlin! There's a harvest moon! It's SO BEAUTIFUL!


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## Millyard Rejects (23 November 2010)

starzaan--- send him a text you like him and want to have an incident in the barn with him, if he doesnt take you up on the offer then you can blame it on the drugs? 
Or we contact his whole list of clients and request they help in our quest to snare ff for you or we steal all their chaff and schooling surfaces! i can get the loan of a JCB and a couple of wagons??




Jockey skull versus weird showjumping with holes in hat thing??


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

I'll take the H from haflinger straight down HALFWIT how many points is that. Stay in bed girl, let the bruising and odd colouring go down before you see him next. But to be honest if you say he already knows about us all.I'd say he's just not interested, apart from the fact he's most probable shoeing more horses thanks to you.


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

And bye the way you would have known if a truck load of Turkish men had landed on you

Stable manners


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

I'm going to take the T from HALFWIT and make TRANSITION. 

Is it wrong that I'm 23 but spend my evenings wearing my new snow boots in the house, watching 'Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman' and eating sugar-free jelly?

*throws jelly at Starzaan*

Martingales, cool mix and... er... chaps.


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## jodie3 (23 November 2010)

I am objecting to 'halfwit'  - where is that in an EQUESTRIAN dictionary?


Starzaan - I certainly wouldn't want to upset you in your fragile state so please accept my apology. on-line scrabble is indeed not the same at all.

Perhaps you could bring out a special edition Starzaan scrabble?  Might be a bit late for this Christmas though.


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

Hollywoozle you poor child. You should be packing your bags and horse and going to keep Starzaan company, it sounds like she can teach you an awful lot.

Did somebody say counter-canter, is that two legs same side???


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

I take the 'A' in HALFWIT and make PIAFFE.

Haha, eat my double-effingness!

HollyWoozle, I'm 22 and spend my evenings in my house reading about conveyancing, wills, and personal injury actions. And I have no money and a broken horse and an OH who lives 70 miles away. This is my life. FML in the extreme. 

But I'm better off than Starzaan, who has been unbelievably brave and marvellous throughout her illness, and should be given several medals, a large bar of Galaxy and her own TV programme.


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

HEHE!! How about backing up, do you have problems???


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

Dibben you realise you have just made your career on HHF good for you. But still nobody answers about the counter canter, is it both legs each side together


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			I take the 'A' in HALFWIT and make PIAFFE.

Haha, eat my double-effingness!

HollyWoozle, I'm 22 and spend my evenings in my house reading about conveyancing, wills, and personal injury actions. And I have no money and a broken horse and an OH who lives 70 miles away. This is my life. FML in the extreme. 

But I'm better off than Starzaan, who has been unbelievably brave and marvellous throughout her illness, and should be given several medals, a large bar of Galaxy and her own TV programme.
		
Click to expand...

Maybe we should run away together, sell our souls to raise some money and then buy one of these properties: http://www.foxgrant.com/Equestrian.htm

Then we could just sit around all evening, getting fat on chocolate and being madlesbiany whilst watching Nigella? Starzaan can come for sleepovers. We can play scrabble whilst wearing fluffy pyjamas and shovelling jelly tots into our mouths at an alarming rate. I have also been reminded of the sheer excellence of sherbet dib dabs.

I have no money either and the OH is away in Singapore... plus it's now bloody boring when he's here anyway. It seems that life is tough enough without all the crap Starzaan has to deal with, bless her cotton covered morags.


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

EB - please don't say depressing things like that. It made me squeak. In a bad way.


I like galaxy. I'm feeling very sorry for myself, get your fluffy pyjamas on and come and watch Nigella's morags in that blue top while she makes carrot cake. I may have skyplussed it just so that I can watch her whisking again and again and again...




And Holly, my morags are covered in LACE thank you very much. FF is back in the country... the serious morag restrainers are out once again....

just in case.


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## Millyard Rejects (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			. FF is back in the country...
		
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Please tell me you arent stalking the airport waiting for him to arrive back? 
But the nigella christmas food book is quite madlesbiany in the extreme!

roast potatoes in goose fat.. yum! wonder if i can cover the lovely vet in goos fat??....



EB- counter canter its just wrong!!!!


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

I am NOT staking out the airport... I merely have a good memory....

and absolutely nothing else to do with my time other than be all high and look rough ting.


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

Yer But!No but!! Millyard why do they make them counter canter in dressage, as mine wont do it in real life And Starzaan get a grip girl, just go to bed have a really good kip for along  while and hopefully when you wake up, things will be back to normal


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			Maybe we should run away together, sell our souls to raise some money and then buy one of these properties: http://www.foxgrant.com/Equestrian.htm

Then we could just sit around all evening, getting fat on chocolate and being madlesbiany whilst watching Nigella? Starzaan can come for sleepovers. We can play scrabble whilst wearing fluffy pyjamas and shovelling jelly tots into our mouths at an alarming rate. I have also been reminded of the sheer excellence of sherbet dib dabs.
		
Click to expand...

Holly, you're a genius. I reckon our 2 perfectly squeaky clean souls would fetch a million each. Easily. How about you, EB? Up for some casual soul-selling?

OOH OOH OOH how about this pink one? http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/mark...tails-equestrian-property-for-sale_260630.htm

Room for lots of HORSES there!


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## Millyard Rejects (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			I am NOT staking out the airport... I merely have a good memory....

and absolutely nothing else to do with my time other than be all high and look rough ting.
		
Click to expand...

If you had told us the date he was back in the country we could have organised a car for him??? trout in the boot that sort of thing?



Echo Bravo said:



			Yer But!No but!! Millyard why do they make them counter canter in dressage, as mine wont do it in real life And Starzaan get a grip girl, just go to bed have a really good kip for along  while and hopefully when you wake up, things will be back to normal

Click to expand...

EB-counter canter isnt real...no.. its a thing made up by dressage riders when they realise they got the wrong lead and pretend they dont!! you never see it get taught in riding schools do you?? mmm? never see tony mccoy at end of a race saying " well he was in counter gallop at the top of the hill and i knew i was going to win"

starzaan- chill,take the druggies the doc prescribed,get back into bed and rest! FF will have got the vibes from you- if not the millions of emails and texts currently been sent to all of his clients-and no I have no idea about the breakin at his house and his work diary been pinched!


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

He even has lovely writing


**SOB!!**


I think I will go back to bed... I do feel rather dreadful.... I apologise for being utterly rubbish this evening my little squishies. I think I need a cuddle and a kick up the arse.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

starzaan said:



			he even has lovely writing


**sob!!**


i think i will go back to bed... I do feel rather dreadful.... I apologise for being utterly rubbish this evening my little squishies. I think i need a cuddle and a kick up the arse.
		
Click to expand...

shotgun starzaan cuddling.

Also, that pink house is totally redonkulous! We do need plenty of room for all the HHOers and we mustn't forget jenhunt who often misses out on the fun. We could have a whole herd of sexy horses and we could just eat Nigella recipes all day everyday.

Also, Starzaan, maybe your 'morag restrainers' could also be likened to BREAST PLATES.


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

But but but can't we all do Starzaan cuddling? I'm sure we could all squish in together ... budge up, Holly ...


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## Echo Bravo (23 November 2010)

Dibben, I sold my soul long before you were born. Starzaan go to bed girl, many people on here are looking after you, sweet dreams


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Dibben, I sold my soul long before you were born. Starzaan go to bed girl, many people on here are looking after you, sweet dreams

Click to expand...

Correction... many people on here are fighting over who gets to cuddle you! I hope you feel special. 

We can share the cuddling I suppose. Can we cuddle and eat tiramisu at the same time?


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Ohh... problem. 

I loathe tiramisu almost as much as I loathe olives.... coffee makes me want to vom all over everyone...

If you don't mind a bit of sick, you can eat tiramisu.


I am wobbling off to bed. I love you all a lot squishy ones, and I promise I shall return with morphine induced fabulosity tomorrow!


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

What about cheesecake instead of tiramisu? I make a mean cheesecake, and can whip cream with my morags flapping in a Nigella-like manner if you want.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

Cheesecake is always good, I still need to try that lemon cheesecake recipe as I said I would make one and eat it on Starzaan's behalf. 

SPANISH WALK.


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## Millyard Rejects (23 November 2010)

I love olives and tiramisu starzaan- which means il never try to steal ff from you as we simply have nothing in common?

Dibbin-the waxy lemon didnt arrive at the weekend men are rubbish and now have to wait till next weekend!!!

Hollywoozle-what a friend to starzaan you are making and eating cheescake on her behalf!

so anyone got the ffs address i might just go round and give him a slap to find out why hes messing with starzaans affections like this?

equestrian dictionary has been updated- draw reins: used as a means of bringing two ponies in from the field when hound has chewed lovely baileys horsefeeds leadrope.


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

What?! How dare they deprive you of The Waxy Lemon?!

Would you all prefer Bailey's or banoffee pie flavoured cheesecake?

Incidentally, polo bandages. They're great.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			What?! How dare they deprive you of The Waxy Lemon?!

Would you all prefer Bailey's or banoffee pie flavoured cheesecake?

Incidentally, polo bandages. They're great.
		
Click to expand...

Banoffee! I LOOOOOVE Banoffee Pie. Yum yum. I can make cake cake. This is a 'sticky toffee banoffee cake' that I made:







I think my favourite it probably lemon or lime drizzle cake:







ETA: Starzaan likes marshmallows so how about chocolate whoopie pies? 
	
	
		
		
	


	







NUMNAHS.


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

Oh my god NOM, that drizzle cake looks AMAZING! As does the sticky toffee one, I can't decide, please send both.

Please?

LEG YIELDING FROM THE 3/4 LINE.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			Oh my god NOM, that drizzle cake looks AMAZING! As does the sticky toffee one, I can't decide, please send both.

Please?

LEG YIELDING FROM THE 3/4 LINE.
		
Click to expand...

When we live together in our dream home, you can eat cake everyday. Don't let me down... 

Also, I enjoy riding 20m circles.


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

To borrow a phrase from the great Starzaan, I am all kinds of madlesbiany for you and your astonishing cakes.

As long as it isn't that pink house ... 

And has plenty of room for all our HORSES. And goats. And chickens. And dogs.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

THIS ONE: http://www.foxgrant.com/default.cfm/viewproperty.SAL100041

"A substantial American Barn set away from the house, has the same drive and at present is arranged to provide 22 Stables and a Tack Room. On the First Floor there is a Store Room / Office, Shower Room and Staff Room. There is ample Parking, Six-HorseWalker, a further AllWeather Arena (60m x 20m), Gallop and Cross Country Course. The land within Lot 2 amounts to approximately 39 acres (15.8 ha)"

The total land (for lots 1 and 2) is about 79 acres and lot 1 has about 10 stables too. Plenty of space for us HHOers!!


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## Millyard Rejects (23 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			The total land (for lots 1 and 2) is about 79 acres and lot 1 has about 10 stables too. Plenty of space for us HHOers!!
		
Click to expand...

plenty of space to open up a very upmarket cake shop also???
and we all know ffs like cake! ergo-cakes made,given to ff,starzaan snogged in the barn! 


ran out at the skinny!


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## JenHunt (23 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			shotgun starzaan cuddling.

Also, that pink house is totally redonkulous! We do need plenty of room for all the HHOers and we mustn't forget jenhunt who often misses out on the fun. We could have a whole herd of sexy horses and we could just eat Nigella recipes all day everyday.

Also, Starzaan, maybe your 'morag restrainers' could also be likened to BREAST PLATES.
		
Click to expand...


ahhh... bless you for remembering me Holly! am I late as usual? Is it ever tooo late to join in on a cuddle? 



HollyWoozle said:



			Banoffee! I LOOOOOVE Banoffee Pie. Yum yum. I can make cake cake. This is a 'sticky toffee banoffee cake' that I made:


NUMNAHS.
		
Click to expand...

I'm also all madlesbiany for you, I believe you will find that cake alllll has mine and Starzaan's name on it (assuming it's not olive or coffee flavoured!)

Did you know that I make the sort of food flavourings that get used in OXO cubes, Cadbury's Highlights and other such well know n brands?







Boring bit aside....

gallopy gallopy jump gallopy gallop gallopy gallop jump jump gallop! And so goes an average day's hunting!


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## Starzaan (23 November 2010)

Now, I was in bed feeling VERY sorry for myself...

but then my lovely darling Emma phoned and reminded me of a song by a genius. Which (according to her AND lovely Ed...worrying) sums me up. A lot. 

So here you go. It made me smile a little bit, and now I shall go to back to bed with a bag of pink marshmallows and hum away to myself....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP21zUrMh7s

(incidentally, his song "Dance While The Sky Crashed Down" sums up my current mood rather well...particularly the line "it's raining leprosy and acid...")


and I want ALL THE CAKES. I all want to know what a "whoopie" is... and I want your morags decked out in icing like that there drizzley masterpiece.... can Duff Goldman come too?


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## Ladyinred (23 November 2010)

That drizzle cake looks like heaven in a tin...

You are talented Holly!

Have you tried maple and pecan cake? 


Counter canter is when you work in a shop and are very busy so you run upsides the counter all day.


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

Never too late, jenhunt!

I can even make squirrel cakes (OK, it was a bit rushed and it looked better when I added real oak leaves and acorns):







I'm a sad human and I photo lots of the things I cook/bake/eat. Food pervert basically.

Or how about... big chocolate fudge cupcakes?







I could go on for hours. 

JODHPURS


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			and I want ALL THE CAKES. I all want to know what a "whoopie" is... and I want your morags decked out in icing like that there drizzley masterpiece.... can Duff Goldman come too?
		
Click to expand...

Basically like two bits of cakes sandwiched together with this creamy marshmallow filling.


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## MrsMozart (23 November 2010)

As usual, no idea what is going on, but....

HALF HALT
TRAVERS
REIN BACK 
COUNTER CANTER
PIROURETTE UM PERUET MAYBE PIROOOORETE, OH BLAST, SMALL-TIGHT-CIRCLE

HOOVES


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## HollyWoozle (23 November 2010)

MrsMozart said:



			PIROURETTE UM PERUET MAYBE PIROOOORETE, OH BLAST, SMALL-TIGHT-CIRCLE
		
Click to expand...

Hehe, this made me snort... just a little bit. 

The most important thing you need to know is that Starzaan is currently in bed with marshmallows. I always said that if I won the lottery, I'd go to bed with thousands of marshmallows and just hibernate for a while and then come out and spend loads of money. *buys tickets like a madwoman*


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## dibbin (23 November 2010)

That house will do nicely, Holly, well done 

And I am even more madlesbiany now I have seen the chocolate fudge cupcakes ... THOSE are definitely mine!

REIN BACK


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## JenHunt (23 November 2010)

The substitute chef at work today made Hot cinamon and mixed fruit sponge with an orange glaze and custard.... we think he can come again.  much as we missed Tom of course... but it a huge portion for 50p!!

So I had to go and get muddy with my madlesbianyfriend (well, she wouldn't but I so would) and we worked our little socks off doing press-ups and situps and running and stuff in the dark and cold.... and before you think we're entirely mad, there were 30odd other people there with us being shouted at by a pretty military man   

I feel like I've just spent a week eating jelly and i'm starting to turn into it... and then, to cap it all off the little donkey has filled his tail with green slime just when I thought I'd be good and plait up tonight for hunting tomorrow


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## Angua2 (24 November 2010)

Hollywoozel.....after all those graphic food pictures I am all madlesbiany for you too.



SIMPLE CHANGES


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## HollyWoozle (24 November 2010)

I'm getting madlesbiany love from all sides... awesome! My OH doesn't appreciate my cooking... he rarely eats cake (much to my friends' disgust) and if I slave over a meal for hours the most enthusiasm I get is "yes, it's nice".

Where is Starzaan? *tempts her with delicious things*

DUTCH GAG.


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## dibbin (24 November 2010)

Ah, see, your OH is a man, that's why he's not all madlesbiany for your cakes. Mine isn't madlesbiany either, although he would happily eat cake until he exploded. I bought him this for his birthday last year: http://sleeptalkinman.spreadshirt.co.uk/mens-simple-cake-o-clock-A12290660/customize/color/2

RUGBY PELHAM.


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## D66 (24 November 2010)

try this carrot cake -recipehttp://www.cakebaker.co.uk/MakingThePerfectCarrotCake.html
It is definitely not for the horses.

is the scrabble still on?  I'll have the L in Haflinger for waffle as in cooler rug (not the thing you pour maple syrup on and have with ice cream).

Perhaps we should play cake scrabble.


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## Natch (24 November 2010)

Stop it with the lovely cake ideas - I am on a diet!!!

POINT TO POINTERS


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## Starzaan (24 November 2010)

BAD TIMES - Dr. Spag has said my body is having a freak out and that the increased feelings of rubbishness over the last two days are due to the super fun new game my body is playing. It's called "I fancy being gluten and dairy intolerant. No cake, roulade, madlesbiany cooking or fun of any kind for you Starzaan". I suppose knowing this is good, because maybe I'll feel a bit better.... but COME ON!

GOOD TIMES - FF text me!!!!!! Not the most epic set of texts I've ever recieved. No declarations of undying love, no promises to be on my doorstep in half an hour with grapes and flowers, no "my you're beautiful and I thought about you the WHOLE time I was all up in Mexico's grill"... but he text me all the same.


I feel much more chirpy. 

I ALSO have someone to interview re: looking after my yard while I'm all half dead and on BOX REST tomorrow. Oh christ on a bike.



Can we make this madlesbianycakefest into a madlesbianyglutenanddairyfreefest please? FANKS DARLIN'S.

Incidentally, lymphangitis.


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## D66 (24 November 2010)

please post pics of christ on a bike - at least in time for xmas.
Pooh gluten free
pooh dairy free
pooh reading labels
mad lesbiany fun can continue though.
horse horse horse - are you allergic to horses?


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## Starzaan (24 November 2010)

poo abounds.


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## D66 (24 November 2010)

Pooh indeed abounds.  I now have to go and shovel loads of it, then make dinner. 
Stand by your phone for texts.


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## jodie3 (24 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			poo abounds.
		
Click to expand...

You could always ask non-doctor Gillian McKeith to have a look at it for you, isn't it one of her specialities?

I should think Dr Spag was lucky to escape unscathed after telling you that.  Can you still be madlesbiany and watch Nigella or is that too masochisitic now?

The big supermarkets all do loads of 'free from' foods, so either get shopping on-line or send the sausage wielder or Matt out shopping with strict instructions to come back with subtitute goodies for you.

So what did the text say?????????

*Market Harborough-Pessoa-Chambon-Lunge-Cavesson-Brushing Boots-Side Reins-Breaking Roller *


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## Starzaan (24 November 2010)

Are you ready for it.....???








ready?






sitting down???!?!!







"So, I hear the stress has got to you"
















OHMYGOODNESSHE'SSOEFFINGELOQUENT.



Or not. 



Lots more texts ensued... not one with even the tiniest HINT of a kiss or even a casual face lick.


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## jodie3 (24 November 2010)

Thats not good. 

Either the sun in Mexico has addled his brain and fried his sensitiveness and potential for face licking OR he still doesn't realise just how seriously ill you are.


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## Starzaan (24 November 2010)

Let's go for not realising...... I like that one.



Now how to make him realise, and do so in a SUBTLE way, so as to result in maximum sympathy and loveliness... hmmm..


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## Rosehip (24 November 2010)

Tell him that you nearly died....and that you keep nearly dying!!!! 
The 'STRESS' didnt get you, the bloody hairdresser did FFS!!!!!!
*I think stress may be getting to me though!*

Im all kinds of madlesbianny for this at the moment, about the only thing making me crack my face today!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqGGrO5hjy8&feature=related


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## Starzaan (24 November 2010)

Well you see, I don't really want to complain... 

and I also don't really want to be the wheedling ninny who tries to emphasise her half deadedness...

I just wish someone would do that for me!!!


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## Echo Bravo (24 November 2010)

Cause you dont whinge,whine or complain Try going veggie for awhile. Or how about fish (minus the Whelks)So he's finally tracked down the stalker So I'd wing it with him


Mares teeth done YAHOOOO!!!!!!


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## Natch (24 November 2010)

I can declare from first hand experience, that gluten, wheat etc and dairy free cakes are all kinds of nigella lesbiany amanazing. 

BOG SPAVIN


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## MrsMozart (24 November 2010)

Hopping in and out as tired as a bag of tired fluffy things, but felt like poking nose in and saying Hello and Horse and Equestrian and Equestrianism and Equine and Equus and Hoss and Neddy and Ponio and Something-Else-But-I-Can't-Think-What.



Hoofpick.


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## Millyard Rejects (24 November 2010)

french link snaffe..............5 and a half inches!


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## JenHunt (24 November 2010)

hw turnout has been unearthed.... I felt a bit mean for only taking a fleece with us hunting today as in my rush to leave I couldn't find my cotton sheet, and he was a tad cold when we got home  I'm a bad mother. But in retaliation Bog pony managed to get mud in my eye today while I was riding him (he jumped into a puddle!). nearly 12 hours later it's feeling a bit better.

how's the wobblydruginducedlightheadedfairyness today starzaan? I concur with those earlier who said that gluten/dairy free cakes are just as madlesbianynigellaish as normal cakey goodness....

incidentally....






grass tip shoes


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## HollyWoozle (25 November 2010)

Woozle want cake and Starzaany madlesbianism.


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## Millyard Rejects (25 November 2010)

HollyWoozle said:



			Woozle want cake and Starzaany madlesbianism.
		
Click to expand...

thats all well and good hollywoozle...but where was your special "please"????


stockholm tar!!!


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## HollyWoozle (25 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			thats all well and good hollywoozle...but where was your special "please"????


stockholm tar!!!
		
Click to expand...

It went for a walk. 

DANDY BRUSH


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## harvgj19 (25 November 2010)

I have read 28 pages of this thread and only just worked out what madlesbiany actually says! 

Starzaan I think you are amazing to be so amusing and so ill at the same time. I hope you feel better soon. 

Hunter clip


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## penhwnllys_stardust (25 November 2010)

Hoof Pick...


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## Rosehip (25 November 2010)

Mehhhhh..... weanling, mud rash, pig oil and sulphur....
How you diddling Starzaan? Sorry I grumped yday, Im all anti-grumped now! 
I make a mean gluten free bread roll btw xxxx


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## D66 (25 November 2010)

penhwnllys_stardust said:



			Hoof Pick... 

Click to expand...

2.25am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought stockholm tar was good, we might be needing it soon.

Extra heavy turnout. 

How smelly do your horses stable rugs get?


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

Ok, so apparently resting doesn't actually work...

Was being a particularly wet napkin last night and having a good old sob because I couldn't make my coat stay hung up on the hangy uppy hooky thing (which is clearly a reason for the world to fall apart)... (and also because the bloody poofaced mechanic phoned and said some thoroughly nasty things) and suddenly the tap turned on in my head and I ended up having another nosebleed. This one was absolutely bloomin' terrifying! 

GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF BLOOD POURING OUT OF MY FACE TO FOLLOW, MAN UP OR GET OUT IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT VOM ALL OVER EVERYTHING....

The nosebleeds are a side effect of the drugs, and also of the stress apparently... WELL... imagine a both taps being turned on... water doesn't drip, it pours... now replace taps with my nonceystrils and replace water with blood. I lost a spectacular amount of blood over the next two hours, and got rather faint and mad! I rang Dr. Spag to tell him I was having a slight trilemma, and he asked if there was anyone who could film it... I think he's a nose pervert... 
Whilst on the phone to Dr. Spag apparently I got a bit MORE faint and mad and started having a bit of a freak out, and asking him if my brain was falling out of my nose. He assured me that although at times it would appear that my brain is small enough to fit through my nostrils, it is lumpy, and therefore I would have noticed if it had come adrift. 

I love Dr. Spag. A lot. 


So, after managing to get blood on just about everything I own, and making the bathroom look as though ritual sacrifice was the name of the game, I was plopped into bed with a bucket and a roll of Dairy Wipe (giant blue tissue roll used for wiping cow bums.... noice!) and told to shut up. In response to this my throat started to swell again as my body decided I wasn't getting sufficient sympathy... and then this morning I ended up having a bit of a melt down! This mainly involved getting a bit cold, and shaking so violently that I fell over in the larder whilst trying to eat peanut butter with a spoon (I hadn't eaten for two days as been feeling so rough, and then my body asked for food NOWNOWNOW) and sort of wobbled around on the floor like a shakey thing for a few minutes... I have thus far managed to avoid going back into hospital today, as there was someone around to stab me with SEVEN injections to try and stop the shaking and the madness... so now I'm all kinds of drugged and feeling utterly horrific, and very sorry for myself!!!


I have however found a groom, so my horsies will be back  in normal land soon and stop looking like muddy hairy yaks and more like smart clipped sparkly things! 




My name is Starzaan, and I'm a wreck.



ETA: FF likes Kevin Bacon Hoof Dressing...he's always right.


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## Vixen Van Debz (25 November 2010)

Apparently nasal sex (feck nose!) is the in things with the kids - perhaps Dr Spag is a fan?

You're allowed to be a wreck! Being ill, not even casual face licking from FF and being incapacitated whilst trying to eat the nectar of the gods - peanut butter.  You're a hilarious, loveable wreck who lightens lots of lives though, if that helps 80)


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## penhwnllys_stardust (25 November 2010)

digger66 said:



			2.25am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
		
Click to expand...

Thats what i get for falling asleep for 5 min in the day time, i was up most of the night


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## Vetty (25 November 2010)

OMG Starzaan! Now I'll say this quietly and put my riding hat on as protection first...... Don't you think that now you have a groom to keep your horses in the manner to which they have become accustomed that maybe a ickle stay in the hospital might be a good idea.....??

Seriously pouring noses and shaking til you fall over is not good. In anyones book. Are you actually telling Dr Spag the truth? All of it?

Consider it, please?


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## Beezer (25 November 2010)

*Wags finger sternly at Starzaan*
Now then young lady, do you not realise you are approaching National Treasure status? You have a Moral Obligation to look after yourself and restore yourself to 100% fitness so you can keep us all entertained with stories about how you wrestled FF to the ground and insisted he partake of casual face licking. For the love of Mike woman - REST UP!

PS:- My non-horsey work colleagues also prefer it when you post lots about FF-entrapment. Apparently I become a nice smiley person and stop snarling at people who want to spend MY budget. At the very least, you owe it to harmonious working relationships.

Please? Rest??

PS:- What does Dr Spag look like? Could he be a possible Plan B for the FF?


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

The mention of fecknose just made me laugh so much I ended up getting tangled up in the super duper uber fleecey blanket and resulted in a near death wrestling experience...


I am telling Dr. Spag the truth... but I do agree that going in for a bit is a good idea... I've got a review thingy on Monday, so hopefully I can stay out of hospital til then and will go and talk to him about being imprisoned for a while!

Dr. Spag is so named because he looks like a piece of spaghetti... he has no definition between head and neck... it's like talking to a bottle with giant glasses on! 


I am still incredibly drugged and rather off my face following this morning's shakefest... but FF and FFH have sent me texties this afternoon... FF slightly more friendly, but only slightly. I still want to smack his head against an anvil though... or maybe just slip him some date rape drugs...

Always a winner!


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## photo_jo (25 November 2010)

Beezer said:



			*Wags finger sternly at Starzaan*
Now then young lady, do you not realise you are approaching National Treasure status? You have a Moral Obligation to look after yourself and restore yourself to 100% fitness so you can keep us all entertained with stories about how you wrestled FF to the ground and insisted he partake of casual face licking. For the love of Mike woman - REST UP!
		
Click to expand...

Surely that should be a Morag Obligation.


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

photo_jo said:



			Surely that should be a Morag Obligation. 

Click to expand...

Name for the next horse!


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## photo_jo (25 November 2010)

Has a nice ring to it!


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## Doris68 (25 November 2010)

How about a REST FEST young woman.....
Do as you're told and don't cause any further bleeding from any other orifices.

Stay well and recover soon x


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

Doris68 said:



			How about a REST FEST young woman.....
Do as you're told and don't cause any further bleeding from any other orifices.

Stay well and recover soon x
		
Click to expand...


I DID do as I was told!! And then my nose exploded!!!! 

I think an FF FEST would be MUCH nicer than a rest fest.


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## JenHunt (25 November 2010)

and I thought I felt like the grim reaper standing next to a radiator!

hope you're taking the hint that maybe you should jsut take it easy for a while!

incidentally.... bandages & gamgee


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## Echo Bravo (25 November 2010)

So don't take any phone calls from mechanic or get restaining order out and see if you can hire electric wheelchair for awhile so you can go and see horses etc:-



Horse blankets


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

EB... no electric wheelchairs.. pimp my barrow is where it's at.


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## Echo Bravo (25 November 2010)

Pity the mechanic couldn't have put a engine and steerwheel on it for you, before he got all stroppy.


Cheltham gag


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## Starzaan (25 November 2010)

OOH! This sounds like a plan......

hmm..


Waterford Nelson Gag...


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## Festive_Felicitations (25 November 2010)

Oh Starzaan you have my full sympathy re-the nose bleed. I had a really bad one one night (when I wasn't sick or on any drugs!) and woke up choking on my own blood becasue the way I was lying was draining it down my throat.... I'd also lost enough to drench 2 pillows, duvet and the matress...

If you want any awesome gluten + dairy free cake recipies I have a friend who is alergic to both and has some great recipies. 
'Whitikers Old Gold' (dark choc) is lactose and gluten free - if you can find it over there.

I'm glad to here you have found someone to care for your horses and I hope your box rest now gets fully under way!

Oh and .... ruptured capillaries due to over exertion during exercise = common cause of nosebleeds in RACEHORSES


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## Echo Bravo (25 November 2010)

ERRR! Can you borrow a ride on lawn mower, with the mower blades taken off, they usually take them off in winter so they can have them sharpened.

Kinton noseband


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## dibbin (25 November 2010)

Starzaan, stop leaking immediately. Or I will set my limpy horse on you and he'll lick you to death and then he'll keep waving his sore leg about and making you feel sorry for him.

HAYLAGE.


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## Millyard Rejects (25 November 2010)

its been a "bloody" day hasnt it! first starzaan tries to bleed to death from stress and worry over a farrier? then my thuggy lurcher took a chunk out of 2nd favourite dogs ear!! Poor poppy is a white dog who became a red and white polka dot dog until she was washed in hibiscrub and had her ear sprayed with silver spray-- i think it stings as she did yelp a little?? the dog not starzaan


cool mix versus cubes


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## HollyWoozle (25 November 2010)

Maybe we could make you some nose corks? 

In all seriousness, I am sorry for your distress! If I were a knight in shining armour, and not an ever-so-slightly chubby bint ramming Haribo into her gob, then I would totally come to your aid (though not on my own horse because she's a bit of a tit). 

On my most favouritistist recipe source they have sections for dairy-free and gluten-free diets: http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/recipes/special-diets/

There are sections in most supermarkets now where you can buy lots of things in gluten-free form and they can be pricey... but that won't matter if you sue the naughty bottoms off the hair dye horrors. 

Now, get into your cosy bed and stay there. Ignore the twatty mechanic entirely and focus on getting better rather than anything else. Maybe we should all start playing online Tetris against each other on tetrisfriends.com. Last time I started this I got rather obsessed though and was daydreaming about tetris blocks. 

Big madlesbiany get well soon snogs coming your way.

ETA: CORTAFLEX AND MANY HORSE RELATED THINGS.


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## Penny Less (25 November 2010)

Still catching up on the Starzaan saga.  You are so brave, cant believe this has all come about through hair dye.  Please do not ever ever dye your hair again, we cannot stand it.
If you have to be mouse brown, or  whatever your natural colour is, embrace it. If you are naturally ginger, I might concede you need to dye it!   (Only joking folks, my brother is a carrot top)




Stirrups


Actually I find stirrups is a really good alternative swear word


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## Angua2 (26 November 2010)

alma said:



			Still catching up on the Starzaan saga.  You are so brave, cant believe this has all come about through hair dye.  Please do not ever ever dye your hair again, we cannot stand it.
If you have to be mouse brown, or  whatever your natural colour is, embrace it. If you are naturally ginger, I might concede you need to dye it!   (Only joking folks, my brother is a carrot top)




Stirrups


Actually I find stirrups is a really good alternative swear word
		
Click to expand...


stirrups, stirrups, stirrups, stirrups, stirrups

Yes, I agree, it can work as a swear word... doesn't have the same ring though


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## Angua2 (26 November 2010)

and before I forget how is our beloved stazaan today




poultice


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## penhwnllys_stardust (26 November 2010)

I seem to have misplaced a Nosebleed Nougat... has anyone seen it??


----------



## Queenbee (26 November 2010)

Dear Starzaan, this is what you get for abusing whelks 

Give us an address and we will go to mechanic all baseball-batted up and shout at him in an angrified way to leave our stary-kins alone, we will then go to the FF's house and inform him nicely that if he doesn't dump the witch and make a dramatic guesture of undying love-type-feelings and commitment to you we will remove his brass ones that he doesn't have to start with and put them in a blender...


Simples!


Hibiscrub, mollassess and flying chaaaaaaaaange.

Now sit back and snuggle in bed, do some hibernating and then come out of your room all better beautifulsome and perfecto like a flutterby emerges from its chrystalis


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## dibbin (26 November 2010)

Dammit, queenbee, Hibiscrub was going to be MY word to end my post with! Need to think of another one now ... 

How are you, Starzaan? Has the Mechanic stopped harassing you yet? What's FF been saying? Is it totally balls-off-brass-monkey-freezing where you are? It is here - I tipped Dylan's bucket out and 5 mins later nearly fell on my a*se because it had frozen.

SWOLLEN HOCK


----------



## Starzaan (26 November 2010)

It is indeed cold enough to freeze an eskimo's snot here right now... his lordship is all wrapped up in about thirty rugs, and everyone was very pleased with their hot feed this evening! 

I'm still rather feak and weeble today after the old meltdown yesterday and all the maaahhhhjjjooorrr drugs they pumped into me, but am rather more cheerful as have finally found a groom, and after being pushed around in my wheelbarrow watching him like a particularly watchful hawk this evening, I think I MIGHT just trust him enough to let him actually do the work... it's a miracle. 

No more from FF... I think I may be about to throw my standard hospital issue (peach coloured...yum) blanket down and give up on him, and return to being all in bed doing nothing remotely interesting! 

Incidentally, you never hear of anyone pillaging any more... why is this?! Does nobody pillage?? Or do they do it on the sly...?


I just persuaded Ed to boil up some barley for his royal Royness, and the house smells like after hunting...s'lovely


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## Rosehip (26 November 2010)

Starzaan, I love you, but will you PLEASE just get in bed and NOT bleed and NOT fall over???? Please!!!!
I looooooove boiled barley, its delish, and Im minorly stropping (cus its too cold for major!) that you have a new groom and it ISNT me!!!!!!

Madlesbiany snuggly snogs xxx

Oh and Dandy Brush!


----------



## Millyard Rejects (26 November 2010)

Rosehip said:



			I looooooove boiled barley, its delish,!
		
Click to expand...

My shetland says the same thing but yet I still refuse to feed her it! 
Boiled barley and linseed boiling in the shed...gorgeous smell...note to self buy new cooker for stables and skinny horsey to feed barley and linseed to!


Starzaan please rest, its too cold anyway to be messing around on the yard and with your luck you will probably slip on some ice or get blinded by a snowflake!!

can you feed ready break to ponies??? my shetland says you can should I listen to her??


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## MrsMozart (26 November 2010)

Hopping in for a few minutes of Friday frivoloty, and of course to find out how my favourite Starzaan is doing 

Um.

Stubbs scoop.


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## Starzaan (26 November 2010)

I had a horse called Frivolity... she was LOVELY but she bit a lot of bottoms in her time....

Rosehip, I AM IN BED. Stop being a big cross rat faced noodle... I'm RESTING. I'm ALL OVER the resting.... and have been for THREE WHOLE DAYS. And it's DULL as two....NAY THREE very dull things.

You can all come and stand in my kitchen and breathe deeply... it smells SO yummy... as I may have exploded the barley boiler last winter, and haven't got round to whining so much that someone fixes it yet...

The puppy has just taken down the curtains in my bedroom of pain. 

For goodness sake.


Capped hocks!


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## Echo Bravo (26 November 2010)

Has nobody picked up on the MALE groom. Don't do boiled barley anymore, when I blew up my pressure cooker and made a terrible mess of my kitchen. glad to hear you are resting abit more.


Newmarket blankets

Forget FF please


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## MrsMozart (26 November 2010)

Hoof oil.

Exercise sheet.

I'm being a big different and going for a touch of variety 

Good that you're in bed oh Starry one


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## Charem (26 November 2010)

Blimey I leave you for a few days and come back to hear you've been doing yard work, had mahoussive nosebleed and a disagreement to certian food stuffs! :O

I feel for you on the enforced rest. I had silly bug that made me bed bound, apart from every other hour when I had to run to the toilet to sick up what little remained in my belly. And the whole dizzyness thing from not eating for ages, my god girl how do you do it. I felt minorly ill for 2 days and wanted to call the huntsman to put me out of my misery! You are a fricking morag wafting, madlesbiany, welly dancing ledge and I love you so very much despite the fact we have never met.

Please take care, watch more Nigella or prehaps start on the script for your up comming movie? Much love and gentle madlesbiany hugs. 

and..
Enter at A, proceed down the centre line without halting, track left.


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## Starzaan (26 November 2010)

EB... I am starting to suspect that you are either the trout, a friend of the trout, or a friend of the FF who is desperately trying to tell me that he's not interested, and is actually a little frightened of me... 

I VERY HOPE THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!!!

Charem, I love you too... would you like to come and feed me grapes? Apparently that's about the ONLY THING IN THE WORLD that I can eat now. Gluten and dairy are little slags. They're in EVERYTHING NICE. Hmph. 

And the groom is lovely - gay as the day is long, really sweet, my over protective manic dog approves of him, and he gave Roy a polo, so he's a BIG fan....


----------



## Montyforever (26 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Apparently that's about the ONLY THING IN THE WORLD that I can eat now. Gluten and dairy are little slags. They're in EVERYTHING NICE. Hmph. 

...
		
Click to expand...

And gluten free cakes .. blergh! And i talk from experiance 

I had a starzaanish wibbly wobbly moment earlier .. can i come and join the grape eating please?


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## Charem (26 November 2010)

I LOVE grapes, we could have a grape eating fest. Wish I was nearer, I would happily push you round the dairy/gluten free department of Tescoes (other supermarkets are availiable ) in your pimped out wheelbarrow. Prehaps Roy could come too? We could put a morag restrainer on his ears so that he doesn't look out of place.


HEF working trot, at A commence 20m circle left


----------



## MrsMozart (26 November 2010)

http://www.wheatanddairyfree.com/

http://www.intolerablefood.com/

They might be useful 


Or they might not!


Think I'm going to go to bed.

Old age.




Oh. 


Pessoa.

Weaving.


----------



## Starzaan (26 November 2010)

MrsM.... I love you.

A lot.




xxxx



I can't find my pessoa, and the groom wants to use it on the youngster who dishes like a dishy thing... HELP!


----------



## MrsMozart (26 November 2010)

I love you too.


Lots 


As to Pessoa and dishing horse and groom. Good luck. Make it part of grooms job to find said Pessoa - that way a) he'll find it, b) he might tidy up as he goes along, c) he'll know where everything else is 'cos the Pessoa will be the last thing he finds!


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## PippiPony (26 November 2010)

Glad you are resting
((hugs))
xx

Full neck rug


----------



## HollyWoozle (26 November 2010)

Starzaan, if you could choose one thing in the world which was definitely safe for you to eat (not grapes), what would it be?

This thought started because I wondered what I would choose if I could make one thing in the world not contain any calories. I think it would be Ocean Spray cranberry juice because I love it more than everything else in the world put together. 

I think I should go to bed because my brain is melting. 

TOPLINE.


----------



## Festive_Felicitations (27 November 2010)

HWoozle - I think Im going to have to go all madlesbiany for you I LOVE Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice too!! (Does anyone else make the stuff??) 

Starzaan I'm glad to hear that you are resting but now I want to go any buy some oats or barley to soak as I love the smell too!!!! But as I have no one to feed them to (Beau def doesn't need them!) it seems a bit of a waste.

I'm glad to here that you have found someone to keep Roy in the manor to which he has become accostomed 

If you have had enough of Nigella for a while check out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA 

Man vs Wild - Campbelltown (send up)
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh8V9MhfCws
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtM7Jiv856Y&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

Let me know what you find amusing and I'm sure we can find more stuff 

PS Leg yeild, shy, stumble, trot.


----------



## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

As the proud owner of a very whingy back, don't know how you're coping m'duck. 

I feel like poking the next thing that mkaes my back twinge, i.e. breathing!

Ah well.

How you doing m'duck?

Sorry, I'm not all madlesbiany, can't get up the oomph 

Hm.

Tendon boots.

Half chaps (though I prefer, in my better days anyway, a full chap m'self ).


----------



## D66 (27 November 2010)

Yeah Starzaan how are you?
Watching strictly welly dancing tonight?
Easy pud for christmas is make up orange jelly with cranberry juice. no gluten or dairy.
I'll second full chaps and raise you a sports bra.


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## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

Hm. All quiet on the Starzaan front...

Sausage boots.

Hoof boots.


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## Starzaan (27 November 2010)

All very quite on the Starzaan front... looking like I'm going to be going in for an extended stay in hospital as the nosebleeds are getting more and more frequent, and the swelling round my throat is coming up every day now... poo poo bugger bum and poo!

My lovely sister has come to stay and look after me for the weekend, and although too much laughing causes cracking nosebleeds, the laughing is so so squishy and lovely! 


I would also just like to say BLEUGH to all who LIED to me and said that gluten free cakes were lovely.

Yuck.



In the extreme.






I would rather lick a hot Turkish urinal.


















ugh. 


MrsM, I am sending you a very very gentle madlesbiany kissy xxxxx


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## Ladyinred (27 November 2010)

Take care hun. Do what the good Dr Spag orders and come back to us soon.

Can you take a laptop in with you??

Love and hugs to you xx


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## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

Can't help you on the HTU unfortunately, but could send you a 'not been cleaned yet today 'cos we've all been out and about' English loo, if that would be any good to you lass?

Ta for the gentleness. Whilst not in your league in the 'Oh bu&&er' front, I am definitely in the 'Oh I wish I hadn't done that' camp. 

Ah well. Onwards and sidewards, if in a slighlty wibbly-wobbly manner 

Will you have your laptop with you in hospital?

Lunging.

Showjumping.


----------



## D66 (27 November 2010)

I kept quiet about the gluten free cakes (and bread) because i know them to be disgusting - think airplane bread roll, stale. But there are lots of non gluten, non dairy foods that are nigellarish. honest.
Behave in hospital, and take your laptop for updates please.

Brushing boots and lip straps


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## Starzaan (27 November 2010)

Well why didn't you warn me?!?! NOT amused. I shall be getting my pointy stick out to stab you in the kidneys! I wasted good, hard earned dollar on those crumbly, tastless monstrosities! 


I shall try and take my laptop... I am now off to find a selection of suitably alluring pyjama type outfits JUST IN CASE FF comes to sweep me off my gurney...


phwoar.


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## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

I'm bored.


Brushing boots.

Baby boots.

Tendon boots.


----------



## Doris68 (27 November 2010)

Oh rats' entrails - you poor old thing!
Positive waves being sent your way...if you can't be good, then....then...WTF....do whatever, as long as you keep calm and c-o-o-o-o-l....oh, and rest pleeease (yawn)

Big hugs x


----------



## tonitot (27 November 2010)

I have kept up with your hair dye trilemma but have yet to comment. It has taken me this long to work out what "madlesbian" says and I think I have burst out laughing at every page! Definately take your laptop to hospital with you, and try to get a sneeky pic of Dr Spag ... I want to see his spaghetti-likeness 

DANTRIUM!


----------



## Natch (27 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			I would also just like to say BLEUGH to all who LIED to me and said that gluten free cakes were lovely.

Yuck.
		
Click to expand...

Really?! Co-op's tiffin? Asda's cherry bakewells? co-op again with their sticky toffee pudding?! 

Maybe the dye affected your taste buds?! 

D RING COPPER MOUTH CHERRY ROLLER


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## Echo Bravo (27 November 2010)

MRSM what do you mean Baby boots and starzaan take you laptop and keep the nurseing staff and patients in stitches, those that are able to laugh, but not the ones with stitches


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## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

Fetlock size brushing boots . Used to always call them baby boots


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## Echo Bravo (27 November 2010)

AHHH. So Starzaan should now have the ruddy rest she needs, will they handcuff or chain her to the bed.

Vets


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## Starzaan (27 November 2010)

Naturally said:



			Really?! Co-op's tiffin? Asda's cherry bakewells? co-op again with their sticky toffee pudding?! 

Maybe the dye affected your taste buds?! 

D RING COPPER MOUTH CHERRY ROLLER
		
Click to expand...


Well if I purchase some of these yummies, and they turn out to be just as rankathon as the others, then I will hold you personally responsible, and reserve the right to smack you in the eyes with a tablespoon! 

And EB, I am still all suspish about you possibly being something to do with the trout/FF.....

so you're up for eye whacking too!


Eye whacks all round....



Now... pink slippers or grey slippers? Or BOTH?!


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## MrsMozart (27 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Well if I purchase some of these yummies, and they turn out to be just as rankathon as the others, then I will hold you personally responsible, and reserve the right to smack you in the eyes with a tablespoon! 

And EB, I am still all suspish about you possibly being something to do with the trout/FF.....

so you're up for eye whacking too!


Eye whacks all round....



Now... pink slippers or grey slippers? Or BOTH?!
		
Click to expand...

Both.

French link snaffle.


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## D66 (28 November 2010)

take the morag restrainer in to hospital and use it as a fruit bowl. Fruit's OK.
Think of the weight you'll lose on a pecan-danish-free diet.

Molassed alfalfa and cavaletti


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## Millyard Rejects (28 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			AHHH. So Starzaan should now have the ruddy rest she needs, will they handcuff or chain her to the bed.

Vets
		
Click to expand...

They will use the straps? cant be seen to be abusing patients even if they are a bit mad?? 
Vets......mmmm i have a lovely vet who even rang to tell me not to venture out in the bad weather and would see me and the beasts later in the week when safer for me to be on the road...he has lovely hands?



digger66 said:



			take the morag restrainer in to hospital and use it as a fruit bowl. Fruit's OK.
Think of the weight you'll lose on a pecan-danish-free diet.

Molassed alfalfa and cavaletti
		
Click to expand...

Are you saying danish pastries are not healthy? 




My pony is very delicate and has to have speedibeet made with warm not cold water!


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## MrsMozart (28 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			They will use the straps? cant be seen to be abusing patients even if they are a bit mad?? 

Click to expand...


So long as they are pink satin, with fluffy bits, they'll be fine 



Comfort headpiece.


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## D66 (28 November 2010)

re you saying danish pastries are not healthy? 
As part of a balanced diet
equal parts danish and doughnuts

danish warmblood and pony nuts


----------



## MrsMozart (28 November 2010)

Nothing like a nice Dane, um, Danish 



Stable rug.

Exercise sheet.


----------



## D66 (28 November 2010)

Hello Mrs M, how's the smilie farm? or have you got teenagers?! I am partial to a danish, but we had frangipane tarts today.

safety bars

cantle


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## dibbin (28 November 2010)

You must take your laptop to hospital, we'll miss you terribly  Dylan has an infected leg, he says OUCH in the extreme *prance prance try-to-boot-mum prance* OUCH. Can he come and live with you in your bed of pain? He'd make a vey cosy bedwarmer, and I'm sure Dr. Spag won't mind.

ALFA-A, BUILD UP MIX, SPEEDIBEET AND GARLIC.


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## MrsMozart (28 November 2010)

digger66 said:



			Hello Mrs M, how's the smilie farm? or have you got teenagers?! I am partial to a danish, but we had frangipane tarts today.

safety bars

cantle
		
Click to expand...


Farm is doing fine ta 

Couldn't find a farmer...  
	
	
		
		
	


	






Safety irons

Centre line


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## Millyard Rejects (28 November 2010)

MrsMozart said:



			So long as they are pink satin, with fluffy bits, they'll be fine 
.
		
Click to expand...

oh yeah goes without saying! not the old brown cord type?



digger66 said:



			re you saying danish pastries are not healthy? 
As part of a balanced diet
equal parts danish and doughnuts
		
Click to expand...

Thats what I thought pheww!  I had 3 donuts today and was just thinking I had to balance out my supper,either with chicken curry and naan bread or the pasties!!



dibbin said:



			You must take your laptop to hospital, we'll miss you terribly  Dylan has an infected leg

ALFA-A, BUILD UP MIX, SPEEDIBEET AND GARLIC.
		
Click to expand...

Im sure the nurses will allow starzaan to keep us informed of her ongoing health issues/ if not maybe a strongly worded email to her local MP from MRSM?

Also Dibbin- Oliver says he will have the speedibeet and might try the build up mix but can you leave the garlic out? hes very picky little irish pony and would prefer cabbage?


----------



## MrsMozart (28 November 2010)

Eh? What? What's that y'said hinny?

Write a letter?








Shoes

Road studs


----------



## HollyWoozle (28 November 2010)

Well, now I want a Danish pastry.


----------



## dibbin (28 November 2010)

I'm craving Percy Pigs ... I blame my pregnant sister in law for craving them and mentioning it. Nom nom nom.

Millyard - Oliver is welcome to share Dylan's feed, and Dylan will eat his ration of garlic too, because he loves breathing it on my face and it STINKS


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## Echo Bravo (28 November 2010)

Starzaan I eat trout don't like it much and for FF, too far away, saw his photo I think? looked a nice sort but nothing I'd rave about, even in my far off youth. Remember girls danish puts pounds on the hips and loosens you teeth filling. and I love my two vets that came and did Angels teeth,which hadn't been done for 6 years,because she's a complete and utter nightmare about them was thinking of having her put down at 13 years, if they couldn't do it. The time and patience and enought drugs to put out 2 elephants , they were done, till next year. And this time I'm not shaking in my wellies about it.

cheltham gag


----------



## HollyWoozle (28 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			I'm craving Percy Pigs ... I blame my pregnant sister in law for craving them and mentioning it. Nom nom nom.

Millyard - Oliver is welcome to share Dylan's feed, and Dylan will eat his ration of garlic too, because he loves breathing it on my face and it STINKS 

Click to expand...

OMG, dibbin. My favourites were the fizzy piglets and they stopped making them... I actually wrote to them and complained. Now I LOVE fizzy pigtails... have you tried them? Percy Pigs are good too... as are his friends!


----------



## Echo Bravo (28 November 2010)

Hollywoozle and Dibben, I think you should both be put in straightjackets, along side Starzaan. Red White and Blue.


----------



## HollyWoozle (28 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			Hollywoozle and Dibben, I think you should both be put in straightjackets, along side Starzaan. Red White and Blue.

Click to expand...

Hehe, OK! Can I still have fizzy pigtails and watch Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman?


----------



## MrsMozart (28 November 2010)




----------



## Millyard Rejects (28 November 2010)

dibbin said:



			I'm craving Percy Pigs ... I blame my pregnant sister in law for craving them and mentioning it. Nom nom nom.

Millyard - Oliver is welcome to share Dylan's feed, and Dylan will eat his ration of garlic too, because he loves breathing it on my face and it STINKS 

Click to expand...

what are percy pigs???  thanks about the garlic-ollie is a little picky and garlic is a little too foreign for him? 



Echo Bravo said:



			cheltham gag
		
Click to expand...

thats exactly what ollie does when met with food in his bucket! (hes had choke 4 times in last 2 weeks!) so is now on speedibeet and a sprinkling of cool and cooked and linseed oil xx



HollyWoozle said:



			OMG, dibbin. My favourites were the fizzy piglets and they stopped making them... I actually wrote to them and complained. Now I LOVE fizzy pigtails... have you tried them? Percy Pigs are good too... as are his friends!
		
Click to expand...

fizzy pigtails?? what are they?



Echo Bravo said:



			Hollywoozle and Dibben, I think you should both be put in straightjackets, along side Starzaan. Red White and Blue.

Click to expand...

 totally agree!



MrsMozart said:




















Click to expand...

Mrs M your well clever at these! 

Has anyone heard from starzaan yet? is she in the hospital as we type eating grapes and writing lists for her new groom? 

I wish I had a groom....id love to stay in bed and rest while he did all the waterbucket carrying and haylifting and sugarbeet soaking......


----------



## HollyWoozle (28 November 2010)

Best things ever:













TENDON BOOTS.


----------



## Millyard Rejects (28 November 2010)

OOOOO.... trip to marks and sparks for me once the snow has gone! 

Might go looking for nigellas cooking book thing...that and proper lovely coleslaw?



stable vices


----------



## Natch (28 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			Well if I purchase some of these yummies, and they turn out to be just as rankathon as the others, then I will hold you personally responsible, and reserve the right to smack you in the eyes with a tablespoon! 

And EB, I am still all suspish about you possibly being something to do with the trout/FF.....

so you're up for eye whacking too!


Eye whacks all round....



Now... pink slippers or grey slippers? Or BOTH?!
		
Click to expand...

One of each. its probably too late by now. you  probably went for the pink ones. 

Reserved right to hit me between eyes noted. And if you don't like the first out of the packet, you can send all the rest of them up to me.

Oh, and if you like dates then try the "naked" raw cookie bars that are often on sale in the same section. Don't get too excited by the word cookie, its just dates and nuts and stuff mashed together, but I think they are lovely.


----------



## Dubsie (28 November 2010)

Millyard Rejects said:



			OOOOO.... trip to marks and sparks for me once the snow has gone! 

Might go looking for nigellas cooking book thing...that and proper lovely coleslaw?



stable vices
		
Click to expand...

Most M&S service stations/petrol stations stock them too.


----------



## Millyard Rejects (28 November 2010)

Dubsie said:



			Most M&S service stations/petrol stations stock them too.
		
Click to expand...

sadly we dont have a great deal of choice around here and nearest m&s is ooh 3 quarters of an hours drive away??
but I still need to do some christmas shopping so its worth the drive id say for some piggy sweets??


----------



## D66 (29 November 2010)

If you are new to this thread and you've only read the last few pages does any of it make any sense at all?

Dodson and Horrell doughnuts
Spillers Apple Danish
Alfalfa fizzy pigtails and reversy pigs

Mrs M - I'm dead jealous of your smilies; where do you get them in all their dazzling variety?
 full set - of the standard variety only.


----------



## Rosehip (29 November 2010)

I would love to eat percy pigs, but have had an emerrgency abcess flush and root canal this morning....so high on neurofen plus, paracetamol and mega-antibiotics....and on a mashed food diet. Lovely! I'll have some of the girls fast fibre, that smells yum soaked in hot water!


----------



## Echo Bravo (29 November 2010)

Tish!!! Starzaan I'm old enough to be his gran, you silly Biddy and to be honest, isn't nice to call his other half a trout. good thing you will be in straightjacket and in hospital for awhile. But just wondering will we get the normal Starzaan back or was she every normal.

polo ponies


----------



## JenHunt (29 November 2010)

any sign of starzaan today (or indeed over the weekend at all)?


----------



## MrsMozart (29 November 2010)

jenhunt said:



			any sign of starzaan today (or indeed over the weekend at all)?
		
Click to expand...

I saw a post from her yesterday on another thread


----------



## HollyWoozle (29 November 2010)

She is alive today at least


----------



## dibbin (30 November 2010)

HollyWoozle - those fizzy pigtails look amazing! 

Fellow Percy Pig lovers, I have exciting news - go to Sainsbury's and buy their own Eric the Elephant sweets. 3 bags for £1 and they taste just like Percy Pigs! My mum discovered this, she is clearly some kind of genius.

Equitrim granules - 1 sachet per day for 5 days.


----------



## Starzaan (30 November 2010)

Somewhat indignant about the fact that my thread got moved AGAIN even though there was a MASSIVE squidey bit about horses in the bottom!!! SO copy and pasted here. HMPH. I'm very ill TFC, do not anger me, or I'll come at you like a drug fuelled gluten free mince pie. 

AHOY HOY!

I'm alive, and I'm FREE! Darling Spag let me out and said that as long as I promise to go STRAIGHT back when I have the next spectacular nosebleed, I'm allowed to stay at home for a bit. 

I went in because the side effects of the drugs were getting worse, and even though I was on six times the usual maximum dose, they weren't actually treating the problem... sooo Dr. Spag was going to hook me back up to a squillion machines, and pump the good stuff straight into my veins again. HOWEVER, he decided to try the really hardcore super duper gladiator of the drug world with giant biceps alternative to what I was taking, and see if that would help.... it looks like it is! They're still freaking out about the nosebleeds, as apparently losing so much blood you black out is a bad thing (go figure!) but have given me things to sort out the anaemia, and I now know my blood type, which is weirdly exciting... 

I've got to go back in once or twice a week from now on for blood tests, and have been booked in with an allergy consultant type person (who gave me a severe *******ing for taking Ibuprofen... apparently I'm allergic to that too... this is getting ridiculous now) who will be testing me (eek!) and telling me exactly how sensitive I am to PPD in all its forms. Hopefully not TOO sensitive, as it appears in pretty much everything you can think of. 
Including my favourite jeans... and mane and tail spray!

The delightful wonderful superstar Tim is doing the yard for me for a while, and is completely fabulous - we know he's nice because my dog approved him within the first three seconds, and Roy whinnied at him yesterday, so he must be alright. It's so awful to sit and have someone else doing them... but I know I trust Tim, and that they're going to be ok - I'm just trying VERY HARD not to think about it!



SO, my new horsey arrived the other day, and he's DIVINE. He's such a sweetie, and the other night when I managed to lose Roy in the field, he followed me around for half an hour while I staggered about in the dark shrieking "ROYSTON! WHERE ARE YOU!!??". (Roy eats his food outside before bed, as he refuses to eat when he's in, and normally he eats and then waits by the gate or the back barn door to come in...but he decided I was too slow, and went wandering off. I walked past him about five times...) saying "I'll come in, screw him, I'm lovely, give ME his cuddles!". His feet are SHOCKING though - apparently he was done two weeks ago, but the clenches have risen, he looks like he's got flippers, and he's clanking like there's no tomorrow... soooo the lovely FF is coming out tomorrow to whack a set on him. 

Please cross everything and hope that my these drugs work and get rid of the last of the swelling round my throat and face... I would rather not make him vomit on sight. 

I think I've pretty much given up all hope of being swept off my gurney (I'm a bit wobblesome for mounting blocks at the moment!), but hey ho.... apparently gay Matt has an incredible plan... we shall see.

So yes, I'm alive, I love you all my little squishy ones, and Angus & Julia Stone are singing to me and making me smile. I'm sitting on my bedroom window sill looking at the most incredible view in the country, it's all snowy and wonderful... and the delightful ex (campervan not Mechanic!) sent me the sweetest text last night, which has not in any way bent me out of shape. It's made me all smiley and squishy in a tomatofaced sort of a way. He's a nice one.


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## *hic* (30 November 2010)

I'm truly sorry that you are so ill and have been so badly affected by what should have been such a simple thing but what is wrong with this being in Soapbox? Plenty of people seem to post on the threads in there so I can't understand why posting in there is a problem. Sorry, just wondering.


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## Starzaan (30 November 2010)

I don't know... I'm just ill and grumpy and resent being moved!


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## *hic* (30 November 2010)

PMSL - I do understand that answer


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## Angua2 (30 November 2010)

*hic* said:



			I'm truly sorry that you are so ill and have been so badly affected by what should have been such a simple thing but what is wrong with this being in Soapbox? Plenty of people seem to post on the threads in there so I can't understand why posting in there is a problem. Sorry, just wondering.
		
Click to expand...

some of us never venture in there.... a scary place requiring lots of protection and possibly mountaineering gear and a

*point2 air jacket*


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## Starzaan (30 November 2010)

Angua2 said:



			some of us never venture in there.... a scary place requiring lots of protection and possibly mountaineering gear and a

*point2 air jacket*

Click to expand...

You win the prize for incorporating horsey things into your answer...

you get madlesbiany snogs all in your eyes!!!


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## Lady La La (30 November 2010)

I want madlesbiany snogs in my eyes!

Equimax, travel boots and rubber pelhams!!

Meee! Madlesbian my eyes! Noww!


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## dibbin (30 November 2010)

Can I have madlesbiany snogs all in my eyes too? Pleeeeeease?

I'll make mulled wine and EVERYTHING.

Incidentally, 20 metre circle.


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## D66 (30 November 2010)

Glad you're back Starzaan, 

that Roy is a bit strange not wanting to come in his warm, cosy stable, slippers, TV, matching rug and curtains etc.  My little girl Delilah (actually over 16hh and only 2yrs) whinnies at the approaching car after 1.00pm and mugs me to be let in the stable as soon as light begins to fade.  I have to feed her in the field in the morning or she would hide in the big bank of shavings under her haynet.

Methinks new horizons must be surveyed for a worthy partner to the bemoraged Starzaan.


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## Angua2 (30 November 2010)

Starzaan said:



			You win the prize for incorporating horsey things into your answer...

you get madlesbiany snogs all in your eyes!!!
		
Click to expand...

ooooohhhhhh

*staggers about abit all overcome with emotion*

*falls over setting said air jacket off*

into clean large fluffly *straw bed*


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## Lady La La (30 November 2010)

Angua2 said:



			ooooohhhhhh

*staggers about abit all overcome with emotion*

*falls over setting said air jacket off*

into clean large fluffly *straw bed*

Click to expand...


...You're just showing off now 













...Pitchfork.


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## Angua2 (30 November 2010)

*snigger*

amazing what a terrible day at work does to you.

Do you think *NAF magic*  works on humans


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## Echo Bravo (30 November 2010)

TV in his stable (colour or b/w), Ye Gods if our horses hear of that they will all want one in their stables (gulp) But glad to here you are on the mend.

AP McCOY for BBC TV PERSONALITY 2010


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## Rosehip (30 November 2010)

I didnt get any sympathy or madlesbianysnogsineyes 

I had a ROOT CANAL yesterday...and abcess flush...and I mentioned it here....and NO madlesbianyness or anything! 
Starzaan cant have it all!! I want some!!! pleeeeeeease!!!!!!!!! 

Field Shelter


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## Starzaan (30 November 2010)

Roy boy does indeed have a heat lamp in his bedroom, and a radio speaker wired from the tack room to the eaves above his bedroom... and he used to have a tv visible from his door, until the youngster knocked it off it's shelf and smashed it to a squillion pieces.


Madlesbiany snogs to ALL your eyes!

ETA: More madlesbianyness for Rosehip and Lady La La. Madlesbiany snogs to your eyes, ears, elbows, the lot...


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## D66 (30 November 2010)

That reminds me  -  just off to turn on the electric blanket. My bed, not Delilah's.  She has automatic water, rubber mats, deep aubiose and pyjamas, so she's not badly off. Oh, and she gets a story and a cuddle before she goes to sleep.


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## Rosehip (30 November 2010)

Thats so sweet! Roy is a very lucky pony!! Dont tell Mels and Seri!
Thanks for snogs...I feel all loved! And quite druggy! I dont know how you string a sentance together starzaan...Im struggling on Neurofen plus (ibuprofen+codine mix) and paracetamol!!
How are you feeling today? xxx


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## Echo Bravo (30 November 2010)

Poor Rosehip, a root canal, painful. go tuck yourself in bed Luv with hot water bottle and 2 pkts painkillers and a hot(maybe a little cooler) choccy.


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## dibbin (30 November 2010)

Yay, snogs in my eyes! 

Although I better make sure Dylan doesn't find out about Roy's supreme bed of comfyness (well-deserved though I'm sure it is), or he'll want a heat lamp and a radio as well!


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## JenHunt (30 November 2010)

I'm glad to hear that Dr Spag has *Turned you Out* for the time being... Hopefully you'll not be hooning about your *Fields* until you're fully recovered and been declared *sound* (of body if not mind... I mean... that would just be boring!)

Where do I get a waterproof radio to help relieve *Boredom in Stabled Horses*? Mind you, I think I'd also need to buy some earplugs for poor Ron if Tom gets a radio for christmas. And yes, it does need to be waterproof otherwise it'll die when he tries to drown it when they start talking about football.

Both our *horses* are tucked up in their nice warm *stables*, wearing their pj's under their anoraks as my parents insist on not changing damp *rugs* if the horse is dry underneath them!


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## MrsMozart (30 November 2010)

Just found you 

Am very gladsome that you're out and about and letting lad do his thing with the horses 

I'm orffff to bed, but will attempt to think wonderful thoughts of nicenesses for you and all battered bods before starting my snoring session.

Sweet dreams beautiful one.


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## Millyard Rejects (30 November 2010)

Echo Bravo said:



			TV in his stable (colour or b/w), Ye Gods if our horses hear of that they will all want one in their stables (gulp) But glad to here you are on the mend.

AP McCOY for BBC TV PERSONALITY 2010

Click to expand...

My ponies have written their lists for santa...ollie asked for xbox,dave asked for a new mobile phone and honey asked for an action man! 
My bestest doggy is called McCoy! he would  have won the national years ago if given the chance to run round there,he did run round bramham and badminton in his youth and is deffo a full 4star dog!!



MrsMozart said:



			Just found you 
Am very gladsome that you're out and about and letting lad do his thing with the horses 

Click to expand...

very good thing this is! means starzaan will now rest properly now!!

frozen carrots in the feed room!


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## Festive_Felicitations (1 December 2010)

But but but you are in New Lounge!!! Not Soapbox I'm all confussilated!!! :s ??

What happens during my night do you all go forum hopping?

Starzaan Im glad to hear that you are home and alive and kicking long may it continue and enjoy your snow we're currently entering the 11th hour of non-stop rain work on the *Angle-Load* ark has commenced.

Mud fever, rain sheets, iodine spray.


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## Vixen Van Debz (1 December 2010)

Delighted you're back, and the super-magic drugs are finally working!  Depriving a girl of her favourite jeans - is there a worse fate?

If the dog and Roy have given groom the seal of approval, then he must be alright!  Glad you're relaxed enough now to let him get on with it! More time to relax, keep us all in chat, and bestow madlesbiany kisses on the various body parts of your favourite sources of repartee!  

Hope new drugs have you all ready for the FF, though still suitably vulnerable at this point so that he must sweep you off your feet and live in bed beside you. And what a lovely thing from Mr Campervan! I love little surprises that induce so many smiles 80)


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## D66 (1 December 2010)

Anyone got a spare morag warmer?
Horse is standing in dark field wishing herself over the gate and into the stable!
cold cold COLD.


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## Echo Bravo (1 December 2010)

Thinks to herself!!! Is groom on contract,will he travel, how much does he charge, as Roy and dog like him he must be good.


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## MrsMozart (3 December 2010)

Boo!



Bandages.


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## Echo Bravo (3 December 2010)

But I could do with a groom that both dogs and horses like, seening the tractor has been broke for a month so having to barrow and dumping muck beside my track, cann't drive in field as snow and steep driveway. OH seens to spend his days abroad or going to school reunion, and to play with what is left of his pop group from eons gone by. So I could do a little help and talk about horses(OH switches off, like I do with his music).


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## MrsMozart (3 December 2010)

I wonder what it would be like to be a groom again. Hm. Not sure I would be very good at it now (aside from the too blobby, too broken, too used to earning what I do).

Sorry. Musings. Am bored and sleepy.

Where is the Starzaan anyway?

EDT
headcoallar


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## JenHunt (3 December 2010)

I sometimes think being a groom would be better than my job... but then I remember how rubbish I am at early mornings. 

any news on starzaan?


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## Echo Bravo (3 December 2010)

Bet she's to busy organiseing said groom, from her wheelbarrow.


Monty Roberts!!!!


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## dibbin (5 December 2010)

My job is, as we Ayrshire types say, "absolute baws"*.

I'd rather be a groom, I'm getting paid minimum wage and getting up at 6.30 as it is. I'm up at 5 for uni, so early mornings are no problem  at least I'd enjoy being with horses rather than the cantankerous old sods that come into my work. 






*Roughly translates to "utter b****cks"


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## Starzaan (5 December 2010)

Alright darlin's ?!!

I am still very much alive, but am all full of someone else's blood which is making me feel rather ick... I'm sure they're very nice, and I'm very grateful to them for keeping me alive and all that jazz, but, EW.

So, please excuse my boringnosity, but I think I should really go back to the land of the asleep... I will leave you with one teeny little snippet of FF gossip...

I ADORE HIM (surprise surprise) and he's coming for BREAKFAST on the 16th... plans please.

I love you all. I feel a bit mad.



ETA: my new HORSE likes doritos. Go figure.


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## D66 (5 December 2010)

Glad you're back - even if on borrowed blood!  
NO sausages.
GWS


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## Starzaan (5 December 2010)

Well actually, I might make it a sausagefest...


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## MrsMozart (5 December 2010)

Sausage is good 

New blood is fine if it's keeping you going 


Tendon boots (not that I'm obsessed)


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## MrsMozart (5 December 2010)




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## dibbin (5 December 2010)

Ooh, breakfast you say? Is he having dinner the night before as well? 

I agree with MrsM ... sausagefest!

Also, strangles.


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## Vixen Van Debz (6 December 2010)

Enjoy the land of nod! Anyhow, it's your blood now ;0)

Yes, sausagefest a definite: bacon, hash browns and black pud also recommended. Just made a big breakfast like that this morning for my other half before he left to get the train to Cheltenham (train/snow permitting) and I've never seen him look more in love with me! lol.


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## little_critter (6 December 2010)

EdensideEnthusiast said:



			Anyhow, it's your blood now ;0)
		
Click to expand...

Finders keepers!


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## Festive_Felicitations (6 December 2010)

Sorry to hear that your feeling icky again. Are you still on all the drugs under the sun? 
If so it may make you feel better if you look at the 'alien' blood as been bombarded with nasty stuff (probably electric green and blue blobs) and a little inner Starzaan going 'take that invaders!' and doing a little welly dance 

Ooooh breaky with FF!! Expecting a detailed report 

And 10 whole days to work out how to get him upstairs...hmm
A little trail of chipolottas up the stairs?
Just move the table on the grounds that you are too weak to come down?
Hmm will have to think up something far more elaborate the above is far to boring.

Beau likes Malteasers. Does he prefer a particular flavour of Doritios?


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