# Frankie is being PTS tomorrow



## Leo Walker (5 January 2017)

He relapsed on boxing day and we agreed to give him 24 hours to see if he came round, he did. But he has relapsed again twice to a lesser degree. He is now at the point where even soaked hay sets it off, so he is living on next to nothing. The pedal bone is 0.5cms away from the outside world and that is because his sole was thick from lots of roadwork barefoot prior to this. His sole depth is reducing as he is stood in not moving. 

I have been dithering for weeks now because he is so bright and happy, but now hes hungry and its not fair. I have had to make an emergency plan for if/when his pedal bone comes through and had to authorise the vets to euthanise without my permission if it happens as it would then be an emergency. I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal comes through after late checks and hes not found until first checks. In fact I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal bone comes through at all.

I have held on for a miracle cure but its not coming. I am now at the point where I am keeping him going for me and not him and that is not ok. I cant believe this is actually happening. I did know at some level that sometimes horses dont recover from laminitis but I didnt really believe mine wouldnt, how could he not? Hes young, wasnt fat, was always treated as a lammi risk so he should never have gotten it, never mind die from it. 

Even worse I realised all of this today while I collected my new boy. A couple of hours away from life talking to someone who has been there for him throughout all of this so knows him, alongside an article posted by a HHO member on Facebook about keeping animals going when you shouldnt was enough to make me really understand what I was doing and that it was not ok. 

I'm heartbroken. I'd really like to load up the new horse and just take him back, actually if I'm being honest I'd just like him to disappear in a puff of smoke  I bought him to distract me while Frankie recovered, I was imaging a Disney style ending where Frankie slowly got better and we all lived happily ever after. Sometimes I am really, really stupid!

Literally the second I paid for him Frankie started relapsing again and now I have to deal with this and pick up the pieces while dealing with a new horse. I think the yard is going to look after him while I decide how I feel and if I even want him. Horribly unfair on him as he is a lovely, lovely boy. Very different to Frankie and on paper a much better fit for me. He doesn't deserve to be thrown into this but he was and now I need to try and find a way through it all and out the other side. This has been one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I just hope when its over tomorrow that I can find some peace knowing hes not suffering or hungry anymore


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## Magicmadge (5 January 2017)

My heart goes out to you, I've been where you are right now questioning if it's the right thing, but better a day too soon than a day too late. I kept telling myself that with my girl who stopped eating and stayed down most of the time . It's very hard but a relief in the end . Be strong your boy is lucky to have an  owner prepared to do the right thing xx


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## lubeam (5 January 2017)

Awe really sorry your going through this, it must be dreadful. Stay brave , you have looked at all the facts and done all you could. Don't worry too much about your new horse it sounds like you have a good support network he will be fine
Concentrate on saying Good bye to Frankie for now (hugs)


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## Fools Motto (5 January 2017)

I'm so sorry about Frankie. Not gonna lie, it will be a tough journey to get through the next few days/weeks/months, but I assure you, it sounds like you are doing the right thing. 
I wish you the best with the new horse, just take your time.

Shall be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care of yourself.


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## rara007 (5 January 2017)

I'm sorry xx


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## Peregrine Falcon (6 January 2017)

Am so very sorry.  Will be thinking of you. ((HUGS))


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## HanniRT (6 January 2017)

Am so very sorry. Thoughts are with you. x Hanni


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## Cobbytype (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear Frankie's health has not improved and that you are having to make that decision we all dread.


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## sam_m (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry  I read your last post and really hoped he'd come right.


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## rascal (6 January 2017)

So sorry.


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## YorksG (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry to hear about Frankie, but I too believe that you are doing the right thing, the final act of kindness for a much loved horse. If you can, could you view the new boy as Frankie's legacy to you? Just as we don't want our horses to be sad or sorry, I'm sure Frankie wouldn't want you to remain sad and certainly wouldn't expect you to give up horses, and the new boy needed a home, which you have given him. He isn't a replacement, but another companion for part of the journey through life.


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## OldNag (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry FC. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Xxx


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## SatansLittleHelper (6 January 2017)

Really very sorry to read this. I have nothing to add but sending a big hug...you are in my thoughts xxxx


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## LD&S (6 January 2017)

Absolutely gutted to read this is a battle that can't be won. 

Will be think of you and Frankie tomorrow  xx


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## TheresaW (6 January 2017)

So sorry x


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## Abby-Lou (6 January 2017)

Been through this myself, you try keeping them going as long as you can but like you say its not fair on the horse and there becomes a point you have to say enough is enough to the poor suffering to the horse. A brave decision, well done thinking of you x


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## SEL (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry to hear this - we were all there with you hoping for a happy ending xxxx


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## chaps89 (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry to hear this and will be thinking of you today. The right decisions are not always easy unfortunately but you have given this horse your everything and sometimes life is cruel and it's not enough, but Frankie has been well loved and cared for throughout, your love for him is obvious in your posts.


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## vmac66 (6 January 2017)

So sorry. You are doing the best you can for him x


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## Clodagh (6 January 2017)

So very sorry. Give yourself time.


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## PeeGee (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear this, you are doing the best thing for your boy.


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## Tyssandi (6 January 2017)

FrankieCob said:



			He relapsed on boxing day and we agreed to give him 24 hours to see if he came round, he did. But he has relapsed again twice to a lesser degree. He is now at the point where even soaked hay sets it off, so he is living on next to nothing. The pedal bone is 0.5cms away from the outside world and that is because his sole was thick from lots of roadwork barefoot prior to this. His sole depth is reducing as he is stood in not moving. 

I have been dithering for weeks now because he is so bright and happy, but now hes hungry and its not fair. I have had to make an emergency plan for if/when his pedal bone comes through and had to authorise the vets to euthanise without my permission if it happens as it would then be an emergency. I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal comes through after late checks and hes not found until first checks. In fact I dont want to be in a situation where the pedal bone comes through at all.

I have held on for a miracle cure but its not coming. I am now at the point where I am keeping him going for me and not him and that is not ok. I cant believe this is actually happening. I did know at some level that sometimes horses dont recover from laminitis but I didnt really believe mine wouldnt, how could he not? Hes young, wasnt fat, was always treated as a lammi risk so he should never have gotten it, never mind die from it. 

Even worse I realised all of this today while I collected my new boy. A couple of hours away from life talking to someone who has been there for him throughout all of this so knows him, alongside an article posted by a HHO member on Facebook about keeping animals going when you shouldnt was enough to make me really understand what I was doing and that it was not ok. 

I'm heartbroken. I'd really like to load up the new horse and just take him back, actually if I'm being honest I'd just like him to disappear in a puff of smoke  I bought him to distract me while Frankie recovered, I was imaging a Disney style ending where Frankie slowly got better and we all lived happily ever after. Sometimes I am really, really stupid!

Literally the second I paid for him Frankie started relapsing again and now I have to deal with this and pick up the pieces while dealing with a new horse. I think the yard is going to look after him while I decide how I feel and if I even want him. Horribly unfair on him as he is a lovely, lovely boy. Very different to Frankie and on paper a much better fit for me. He doesn't deserve to be thrown into this but he was and now I need to try and find a way through it all and out the other side. This has been one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I just hope when its over tomorrow that I can find some peace knowing hes not suffering or hungry anymore
		
Click to expand...

I am so sorry for you and him and know the situation so well as  I was in this position a few years ago and held on to every last hope.  Sadly like you we reached a point where the fight was gone in her eyes and pain took over.  She was a mare of a lifetime like he is yours, your doing the right thing now before it is too late, remember  

Deaths leaves a heartache no one can heal
Loves leaves memories no one can steal.



Thinking of Frankie today and wishing him a smooth pain free walk over the bridge of the the rainbow.

 Sweet dreams Frankie.  XXXX


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## PorkChop (6 January 2017)

Will be thinking of you today, massive hugs x


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## Amymay (6 January 2017)

I'll be thinking of you today xxx


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## the_nag (6 January 2017)

So sorry for you big hugs. It will be tough but time is a great healer your doing your best


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## JillA (6 January 2017)

So sorry, no-one could have done more for him or tried harder. Today is the last good thing for him, end to suffering and pain. Hope it goes as well as it can and you have someone there for you.


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## wills_91 (6 January 2017)

Will be thinking of you both today. Horrible horrible decision to have to make but done with his best interests in mind. Take care x


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## BBP (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry.  Laminitis is such a cruel illness.  I know it isn't much comfort but lots of us are sending you big hugs today.


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## Sheep (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Thinking of you and your lovely boy today x


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## ycbm (6 January 2017)

Right decision FC. Will be thinking of you today.


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## texas (6 January 2017)

Been where you are.  Thinking of you today.


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## Amye (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this, it's such a difficult decision to make xx


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## viceversa (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you today, hugs xxxxx


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## w1bbler (6 January 2017)

Been following your journey, so sorry for you, but you are making the right decision for both of you. It won't feel like it for a while, but the pain does ease eventually.
Don't rush to decide on the new horse, get someone else to look after it until you are ready. For me 2weeks after I had my horse pts  I felt I needed another, but going & trying horses was too much. You can always sell if it doesn't work out, but t may be just the therapy you need. Look after yourself.


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## Regandal (6 January 2017)

Hope all goes well today.  There's a time for everything. X


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## Bernster (6 January 2017)

What a horrid situation, so sad for you, but he will be free from pain.  I realise it will be tough but in some ways maybe the new horse will be a distraction, in a good way, perhaps not what you had planned but sometimes these things happen for a reason...


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## PaddyMonty (6 January 2017)

The right decisions are often the toughest.
It's never easy but something the responsible horse owner has to go through sooner or later.
My thoughts with you.


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## ponyparty (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear this  not much I can say that hasn't already been said - you're definitely doing the right thing by him though, the last kindness you can give your faithful friend. Big hug x


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## Goldenstar (6 January 2017)

Blooody awful ,but you can't get the result you want with all of them .
It is the right thing to do.
On the new boy just look at looking after him working him as a job the rest will will come with time .


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## planete (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this.  Thinking of you this morning. xxx


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## Pinkvboots (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry I have been following your other thread and commented where I thought I could help, I have been in your situation it's not nice and I can honestly say it was one of the most stressful things I have gone through, I really think your making the right decision it's bloody hard though but you did all you could for him and I will be thinking of you today X

I also had a very new horse when Grace was pts I really had no time for him once she had gone and I struggled with him for a while but I wouldn't be without him now so give yourself both some time and I am sure you will feel differently.


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## Wimbles (6 January 2017)

Very sorry to read this but it sounds like it is definitely the kindest thing to do for him, although undoubtedly the hardest for you.  Thinking of you


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## tashcat (6 January 2017)

I'm so awfully sorry.

Take some comfort that you have made the kindest decision for Frankie and done everything you could.

I had to make the horrible decision to put my boy to sleep when he suddenly became ill. It was awful being the one to 'agree' to his death, but as much as I wanted him to never leave me, I knew it wasn't fair to put him through the pain of surgery.

Thinking of you, and sending hugs. The new one will absolutely fine until you are ready to make a decision, so give yourself as long as you need x


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## Hannahgb (6 January 2017)

So sorry, thinking of you both today xx


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## fattylumpkin (6 January 2017)

Really sorry to hear about Frankie, you're in my thoughts.


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## Spottyappy (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read you've had to make the hardest decision, but for the right reasons.
Thinking of you at this difficult time.


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## southerncomfort (6 January 2017)

I'm so desperately sorry for you.   You tried so hard to make him right.

Will be thinking of you.  xx


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## The Fuzzy Furry (6 January 2017)

Really sorry to read this but glad you are being pragmatic about pts too, sending you big hugs xx


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## On the Hoof (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read about this, you are being very brave and caring.  give yourself some time with the new boy, as someone said - look after him as a 'job' and the rest will come later.  Thinking of you today x


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## Wagtail (6 January 2017)

I am so, so sorry. Laminitis is a cruel illness. It's very nature leaves us prone to doubting every decision we make. It doesn't just hit the fat ponies whose weight has been neglected. I remember shortly after losing my mare, having religiously monitored her weight and kept her lean for more than two years, coming across a livery's other retired 25 year old horse in a 20 acre field. He was 16.2 and easily the fattest horse I had seen in my life, but had never had even a hint of laminitis. I felt so cheated and angry as the loss of my mare was still so raw. On the other hand, a slender 8 year old warmblood, in full work here got laminitis if he even ate a blade of grass. Laminitis hits the best managed horses almost as often as the neglected ones IME. You did your absolute best for Frankie and have made the bravest decision for him now.


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## D66 (6 January 2017)

Oh dear.  As someone said on a different thread, when your horse dies you have to grieve for him, and having another horse won't stop that process happening.


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## kinnygirl1 (6 January 2017)

Really sorry to hear this - thinking of you and Frankie today.  x


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## MotherOfChickens (6 January 2017)

so sorry x


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## Asha (6 January 2017)

So sorry, thinking of you today.

Don't be hard on yourself with regards to your feelings for the new horse. Give yourself time xx


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## LadySam (6 January 2017)

You're in my thoughts today too.  Be kind to yourself.  xxx


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## TheSylv007 (6 January 2017)

So sorry, thinking of you.


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## twiggy2 (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you today, HUGS


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## Jellibean (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear FC.  I will be thinking about you today.  Its a very brave decision, but the right one.  You just need to give yourself time x


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## Christmas Crumpet (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear this - you've been a fantastic owner to him and given him every chance and more. It is just the way that sometimes we can't mend them and then we are entrusted with making the right decision. You are/have made the right decision and we will be all thinking of you today.

A couple of years ago, I had the most wonderful old hunter who it was agreed would be PTS at the end of the hunting season as he was essentially knackered. As it turned out, the new horse arrived the day before I had the other one PTS and, as a result, could barely look at the new one for weeks because she wasn't the old one. A friend on here told me that I had to stop thinking like that and give the new one a chance. She was totally different and what had happened to the old one was no fault of hers. It took a while but we got over it and she proved herself to me. Don't be too quick with your decision - there is no rush.


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## rachk89 (6 January 2017)

So sorry you are losing your boy. Try not to make a quick decision on the new one though you never know he might be what you need to help you through this.


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## crabbymare (6 January 2017)

so very sorry it did not end better for you. nobody can ever say that you did not give him every chance  I hope it all goes as well as is possible and that you can feel some relief afterwards knowing that you have done the best thing you could for him. give the new boy a chance as subconsciously you possibly knew that he would be the one for you with the doubts about frankie so you may find that in a few weeks you will feel better about him and think of him as a tribute to frankie being so good that you need another in your life


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## skint1 (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry to read this news, you tried so hard with Frankie and it must be an absolutely heartbreaking decision. I hope his passing is peaceful for you.

I know your grief will be very raw right now but I think having your new horse will be a good distraction, there are many horses needing good homes in this world, and you certainly can offer that.   Take each day as it comes,  don't worry if it takes a while to build the bond and allow yourself to feel however you want to feel.  Take care x


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## HeresHoping (6 January 2017)

So sorry, Frankie.


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## Dazed'n'confused (6 January 2017)

So, so sorry for you but it is totally the right thing for him (as you know). It's the hardest decision to make and you've done everything you can for him...
As others have said, give the new boy chance, I know he'll never replace your special boy but he might just help ease the pain slightly in weeks to come.
Sending a hug..


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## Tiddlypom (6 January 2017)

So sorry. You're doing the right thing.

Give it time with the new lad.


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## eggs (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear this but sadly many of us have been in a similar situation and know how tough it is.  Knowing you have made the right decision doesn't make it any easier for you.  Frankie won't know anything - just go up and give him a big hug and a carrot or two.

I have always been in the position of having more than one horse when I have decided it was right to have one pts and I actually found that a big help as it made me go up to the yard and carry on.  A new horse can't replace Frankie but then again he doesn't have to - he just has to be another horse that is right for you.


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## Ddraig_wen (6 January 2017)

Hugs. So sorry to read this.    

I've been here with my boy a few years ago. I don't think I'd have got through if it wasn't for my little filly. She could never replace him but she gave my a furry shoulder to cry on which helped.


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## alainax (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this, such sad news  take it one day at a time. Let the new one settle and just take it slowly. It'l all be alright in time .


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## MDB (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this. Thinking of you. x


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## Ladyinred (6 January 2017)

No words. Just sending love and virtual support. x


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## cobgoblin (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this but I think you've made the right call.

Your new horse is not a 'replacement'....he is another horse that has come into your life....and he needs you.


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## Little-miss-perfect (6 January 2017)

So sorry for you, sending hugs, x


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## Lindylouanne (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry to hear your news about Frankie. Take care of yourself, hugs. L xx


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## Roxylola (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear this news.  It is an awful decision to have to make.  Take care of yourself, leave your new boy with the yard and worry about that in a bit when you are ready xx


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## DirectorFury (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you and Frankie xx.


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## Michen (6 January 2017)

Completely and utterly understand what you are going through as I had similar with T in terms of making a decision. I'm really, really sorry you are having to do this but for what it's worth I think this is absolutely the right call and the best thing you could do for him. 

Suggest with the new horse you bung him on full livery somewhere for a few weeks whilst you think about things.


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## Dave's Mam (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you.  You did the best you could.


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## FestiveFuzz (6 January 2017)

Didn't want to read and run. Big hugs, my thoughts are with you x


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## smja (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry. What an awful situation.


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## Queenbee (6 January 2017)

Oh hunny, I am so very sorry... I have dreaded seeing this post and hoped along with you that there would be a turn around in his condition and that he would slowly get better.  I can say from what I have witnessed of your struggles with him, you absolutely could not have done any more, your dedication and determination has been overwhelming.  My heart breaks for you, and I am thinking of you.  Make no choices about the new boy,  I believed I would resent Ben when I had to say goodbye to Ebony, but I thank my lucky stars I had him, I instantly needed him and have needed him ever since.  

I am so very sorry FC xxx


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## View (6 January 2017)

FC, so, so sorry that you have had to make this decision.

You have done everything you could for him, including making the final decision to ensure that he can never suffer.

Be kind to yourself, and don't make any hasty decisions about the new boy (other than let the yard look after him on full livery for a while).

Hugs.


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## HBB (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you at this very sad time x


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## Shady (6 January 2017)

I am so, so sorry for you FC. like many on here i was hoping he would come right for you, it may not feel like it now but perhaps your new boy will be the best thing to help you recover from the loss, i hope so as he sounds lovely. Thinking of you and sending many , many hugs to you. xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## EllenJay (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry to read this - thinking of you xx


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## Merrymoles (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this - you've had enough tough times. Sending hugs. I've tried to reply several times but for some reason the page wouldn't let me.


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## RubysGold (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry. I was really hoping he would pull through :-(


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## applecart14 (6 January 2017)

So sorry, big hugs x


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## JJS (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry to read this, FC. Your love for Frankie shines through in every post you've ever written on here, and you've undoubtedly given him everything you could. You've fought for as long as you can, but giving up now isn't a defeat; it's a kindness, one that he will thank you for. 

It's going to hurt like hell in the days to come, but your new boy might be the balm your soul needs: not to make you forget, but to fill the hours when Frankie is not there. I got my gelding a month after losing my soul mate mare, and I needed him more than I knew. He has never replaced her, but he was a plaster over the wound when I needed him to be, and I'll be forever grateful to him for that. I hope your new boy will be the same for you.


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## sprytzer (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you ((hugs))


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## Pearlsasinger (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry that all your efforts haven't paid off but imo you are doing the right thing for Frankie and ultimately for you. Although it is very sad, there is relief that it has ended, when the deed has been done.

When we lost our first horse we didn't have others and it was 2 yrs before we got another but since then, havng lost several horses over the years,(some of them far too young), I can tell you that having other horses to look after has made it easier for me to deal with the loss.

You chose the new horse because you thought he was right for you and would distract you from Frankie's illness. He hasn't changed but he has an even more important job to do now. He won't replace Frankie, no horse could do that but he is still the right horse to take over Frankie's job.

Thinking of you today.


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## ester (6 January 2017)

So sorry . 

Speak to miss_c if you are unsure about the new one, she'd bought genie yet to be collected then lost her current in an accident so am sure she will know what you are feeling on that and she could perhaps help.


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## jgmbng (6 January 2017)

So so sorry but reading all your posts, it is the kindest thing to do.


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## Ebenezer_Scrooge (6 January 2017)

Thinking of you & Frankie. The hardest decision as an owner & the last act of love for them.


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## Apercrumbie (6 January 2017)

How awful for you, I'm so sorry and hope that today went as well as it could. From following your posts I think you are definitely doing the right thing. It will hurt like hell for a long, long time but do your best to give the new boy a chance. You never know, he might surprise you.


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## asommerville (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry to hear, it's so hard I bought my girl just after losing my 8 year old so know how you feel, not long afterwards I lost my old mare and I feel like it took ages before I didn't hold it against the new one!  Take your time, there is no rush to get over him


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## Leo Walker (6 January 2017)

Hes gone. It was very, very quick. The injection went in and that was pretty much it, he was gone and down almost immediately. I had a lovely 10 mins with him beforehand hand feeding him treats. He literally couldnt believe his eyes as he was never ever allowed anything like that and they just kept coming, so it was nice to do that for him.

I had a few minutes after he had gone to get myself together then I had to get on and sort the new one out and all the people who said it would help were right. I havent had time to get too upset as I've been busy with stuff for him. Hes still the lovely pony I bought so I'll spend sometime with him and see if we can work something out together. I think we probably can, hes much needier than Frankie and really does need his hand holding a little bit, so even if I just take it from that point of view for now and then see how it all works out. I bought him some bits and pieces this afternoon, just silly things like brushes but they are his own things not hand me downs, but it felt important to do that.

I'm heartbroken about Frankie. I expected to know I'd done the right thing and to feel relief that he wasnt suffering anymore but actually I just feel guilt and sadness that I couldnt fix him. I'm hoping that will ease over time as its a really horrible way to feel and there really wasnt anything else I could have done other than put an end to it, but knowing something and feeling something arent always the same.


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## Britestar (6 January 2017)

So sorry. 
Honestly tomorrow you will feel less guilty and you will feel relief. That's how I felt when I lost my girl to lymphoma.


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## Dave's Mam (6 January 2017)

Hugs to you Lovely.


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## atropa (6 January 2017)

So sorry to read this FC. Nobody in a million years who has read your posts on here could ever accuse you of letting Frankie down. 

Big hugs.


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## TuscanBunnyGirl (6 January 2017)

Please don't ever feel guilty...ever. You did amazing things for that horse. And you gave him the final kindness instead of letting him selfishly suffer. I know at the moment it must feel terrible but it will get easier, I'm sure it'll always hurt and be insanely saddening but it will get easier. Really looking forward to seeing your adventures with your new boy.xx


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## LHIS (6 January 2017)

big hugs OP, be kind to yourself x


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## Merrymoles (6 January 2017)

Tears in my eyes but yes, you did the only thing possible as a caring owner and it will get better eventually, knowing that you did it for him.


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## Peregrine Falcon (6 January 2017)

Reaching for the tissues too.  Look after yourself and do give some time to grieve.  Please do not feel guilty that you couldn't fix him, there are some things that can't be.  You did everything you could, take comfort in that.  X


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## Annagain (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry, I've been trying to reply to your post on my thread all day but the forum wouldn't let me.


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## EventingMum (6 January 2017)

FrankieCob said:



			Hes gone. It was very, very quick. The injection went in and that was pretty much it, he was gone and down almost immediately. I had a lovely 10 mins with him beforehand hand feeding him treats. He literally couldnt believe his eyes as he was never ever allowed anything like that and they just kept coming, so it was nice to do that for him.

I had a few minutes after he had gone to get myself together then I had to get on and sort the new one out and all the people who said it would help were right. I havent had time to get too upset as I've been busy with stuff for him. Hes still the lovely pony I bought so I'll spend sometime with him and see if we can work something out together. I think we probably can, hes much needier than Frankie and really does need his hand holding a little bit, so even if I just take it from that point of view for now and then see how it all works out. I bought him some bits and pieces this afternoon, just silly things like brushes but they are his own things not hand me downs, but it felt important to do that.

I'm heartbroken about Frankie. I expected to know I'd done the right thing and to feel relief that he wasnt suffering anymore but actually I just feel guilt and sadness that I couldnt fix him. I'm hoping that will ease over time as its a really horrible way to feel and there really wasnt anything else I could have done other than put an end to it, but knowing something and feeling something arent always the same.
		
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Please, please don't feel guilty, you did everything possible for Frankie and made the courageous decision to do the right thing for him at the end. He was lucky to have you, many other horses don't have such owners like you. Hopefully he'll be watching over you with your new boy and whispering in ear his ear telling him to look after you. No horse will replace Frankie but your capacity to care will be needed by your new boy and he will win a place in your heart. Take care, big hugs x


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## wills_91 (6 January 2017)

I'm so relieved to here it was quick and peaceful for him. You are probably still in shock and I'm sure you will feel the relief soon that he is no longer in pain. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I hope your new lad brings you some comfort over the next while x


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## MissGee (6 January 2017)

FrankieCob said:



			.... I havent had time to get too upset as I've been busy with stuff for him. Hes still the lovely pony I bought so I'll spend sometime with him and see if we can work something out together. I think we probably can, hes much needier than Frankie and really does need his hand holding a little bit, so even if I just take it from that point of view for now and then see how it all works out. I bought him some bits and pieces this afternoon, just silly things like brushes but they are his own things not hand me downs, but it felt important to do that....
		
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It sounds to me like Frankie sent you the new boy... 

He knew you'd need each other xx


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## ozpoz (6 January 2017)

I am so very sorry, Frankiecob. Sometimes there is nothing else we can do. You will feel better knowing that you did everything you could, and made his last moments happy.

I honestly think the new horse came at the right time, he will keep you well and keep your routine normal. Thinking of you. xx


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## Gift Horse (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry for your loss x


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## alwaysbroke (6 January 2017)

The hardest and saddest thing for us to do, but the kindest for for our horses, Frankie will have left you with some lovely memories to cherish, at some point you will remember them and smile, it may well take a long time, it did for me when I lost my horse of a life time, but now, years later I grin when I think about her. Take your time and allow yourself to grieve, thinking about you x


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## claracanter (6 January 2017)

You have doen a very brave thing and it was the right thing for an owner who loves their boy so much, to do. Maybe in time you will start to believe this. Big hugs


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## numptynoelle (6 January 2017)

So sorry FC - you couldn't have done anymore for Frankie, you went above and beyond to try to fix him, and it just wasn't to be. I hope your new boy does help - sounds like he needs you and whilst he won't replace Frankie, he sounds like a super prospect and will give you happiness in time. Take care x


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## southerncomfort (6 January 2017)

Bless you.    When my little mare was PTS it was a couple of days before her loss really hit me.

Having the other girls to do at least helped me stick to a routine and gave me a reason to keep going.  Your new boy sounds very sweet and I'm sure he can help you through this.

Don't ever feel guilty for a minute.  You could have kept him going for your sake but you didn't, you made the selfless decision to let him go.  No-one could have done more for him.  It'll take a while for you to believe that but it really is true.

xx


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## Bradsmum (6 January 2017)

So sorry FC, I've only just caught this post.  Please don't feel guilty as Frankie was a very much loved horse who had a good life with you.  RIP Frankie, May you run forever pain free.


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## Mrs B (6 January 2017)

So very sorry, FC. You tried everything  x

Sleep well, Frankie.


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## LeneHorse (6 January 2017)

So sorry to hear about Frankie. Please don't feel guilty, you did the right thing for him. I went through this with my first horse and like you, took the decision to PTS. It was the right thing for her too. Laminitis is a dreadful thing.


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## Red-1 (6 January 2017)

I am really sorry to hear this, but i know you did everything humanly possible. I think your new horse is very lucky.


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## Damnation (6 January 2017)

Youv've gone above and beyond for Frankie, including this one final act of kindness.

*Huge hugs*

I hope it went as ok as it can.


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## frostyfingers (6 January 2017)

Having a new horse in circumstances like this is hard - it happened to me last year when I bought a new one at a time when I thought existing horse needed a year off, however it transpired within about a week of having the two of them that the existing horse was never going to recover.  They hated each other with a passion in the short time they were together and I felt terribly guilty that my horse was stressed by the new one in his last week.  I still do, to be honest, but what's done is done and he went peacefully and quickly which is something at least.  It's inevitable that you will compare the two for ages but you must try and see that you did what was right.


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## Cinnamontoast (6 January 2017)

Absolutely gutted for you.  You did everything you possibly could for Frankie. 

Very weird timing that Frankie started to relapse as soon as you got the new boy. He's going to be at a different yard, isn't he? I found being at the yard very difficult, but had another, so no choice. Take your time with the new boy, don't push yourself into the driving til you're ready. 

Big hugs, this is very a very difficult thing to go through.


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## Nari (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry that he wasn't one of the lucky ones, please don't feel guilty though because you tried so much to save him. Sometimes it does just come down to luck.

Try to look after yourself now, and let yourself grieve in whatever way you need. I'll be thinking of you, it's an awful place to be xxx


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## Equi (6 January 2017)

Oh my love have a cuddle. You are one amazing owner to have done everything you did and for knowing when enough was enough. Frankie was a very lucky pony as is your new one x


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## Sukistokes2 (6 January 2017)

You fought until the end, you gave all you had to give, Frankie knows that, you have given him the greatest gift that we can give our horses, a painless end. 

Run free Frankie and eat all the grass you want lad.!


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## AmieeT (6 January 2017)

Oh FC, I'm so sorry. Don't ever feel guilty- you have done all you can for him, and you did the bravest thing today by letting him go. Sleep tight Frankie, and FC be kind to yourself. Xx


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## ShadowHunter (6 January 2017)

I'm so sorry, it's the hardest thing but please don't feel guilty. Big hugs.
Rest in peace Frankie


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## miss_c (6 January 2017)

Dear FrankieCob,

I am so so sorry to read this.  I tried to
PM you but my phone says no.  

I have been in a very similar situation with having a new horse at the same time as losing one.  If you want to talk then please send me a PM, I know how you are feeling, I went through it all myself.  <3

miss_c


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## Elsbells (6 January 2017)

You did the right thing for him and he knew you loved him x


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## oldie48 (6 January 2017)

Hi
I haven't read all the posts but my old Tb was pts this morning so I think I know a little about how you are feeling. We love our horses and want to be the best owners we can be for them but sometimes that means saying "goodbye". I am sure that you, just like me, did all we could to give our horses a great life and to give them a good end is the last act of love. we aren't gods, we can't make them well, live longer, stop them getting old but we can care for them. you did that for your horse and I did that for mine. Puzzle was my friend for 17 years, I have lovely memories of him, lots of stories that make me smile and I will miss him so much but I will always remember how much he enriched my life. Look through your photos and enjoy your memories, we were so lucky to have them as our friends!


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## wyrdsister (6 January 2017)

So sorry, FC. Frankie was lucky to have someone like you to look out for him and do right by him. I well know that awful 'I wish my wish had been enough to fix you feeling' -- I've lost two of mine in the last 18 months, one to metabolic issues that kept triggering laminitis -- and it doesn't really go away, especially as new ideas and approaches emerge all the time. But LP had been through enough when I let her go, like your lad had, and they're out of pain and at peace. I think you're doing the right thing with your new horse -- just being there for him and seeing what happens, getting him his own things, and letting him be him. Sometimes new creatures find their way into our worlds when they're needed the most.


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## Micropony (6 January 2017)

Oh I am so sorry. I hope in the coming days you are able to find some peace with knowing you did right by Frankie, and that having your new boy to care for brings you some comfort. Sounds as though you need one another right now x


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## be positive (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry, you made the right decision for him, it will hurt but the pain will ease, look forward to enjoying the new one, Frankie will want you to have no regrets he knew you fought for him until the end, RIP  xxx


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## OldNag (6 January 2017)

I am so sorry, but you could not have done more for Frankie. I have been there twice with lami, one an oldie but the other too young. It bloody hurts, but when we make that decision we are doing the best thing we can. 

Your new boy will keep you busy and that really helps. As someone else said, he isn't a replacement. Maybe look on him as a project, a horse who needs your help, and see how it goes? 

Massive hugs xx


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## cremedemonthe (6 January 2017)

Sorry for your sad loss, it's the last kindness we can do for animals in our care isn't it, Oz x


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## MrsMozart (7 January 2017)

Oh sweetie, I'm so very sorry. You did all and more. Frankie knew only kindness and love from you. Your new lad will be equally lycky in that respect. Hugest hugs xxx


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## Remi'sMum (7 January 2017)

I've only just seen this. So very sorry for your loss FrankieCob. By the sounds of it you did everything and more. Sending very many virtual hugs x


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## horselib (7 January 2017)

They say that memories are golden,
 and that probably is true,
 but I never wanted memories;
 I only wanted you.
 A million times I've needed you,
 a million times I've cried.
 If love alone could save you,
 you never would have died.
 In life I loved you deeply,
 in death I love you still.
 In my heart you leave a space
 that nothing will ever fill.
 If tears could build a stairway
 and heartache make a lane,
 I could walk the path to heaven
 and bring you back again.
 Our family chain&#8217;s now broken,
 and nothing seems the same.
 but as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
Much love tears in my eyes as I post this.


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## Evie91 (7 January 2017)

So sorry, such a tough decision to make. Maybe new horse was sent to you just at the right time and will help you get through difficult time ahead.


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## Haniki (7 January 2017)

So very sorry for you Frankiecob.


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## scats (7 January 2017)

Sending lots of love.  I've been there, far too many times, and it never gets easier, BUT having another horse to keep going for is brilliant.  I've been lucky in that each of my losses, I've had another horse there who need me.

You will find yourself feeling strong at times, and weak at others, but that's totally natural.  Take care of yourself xx


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## ozpoz (7 January 2017)

oldie48 said:



			Hi
I haven't read all the posts but my old Tb was pts this morning so I think I know a little about how you are feeling. We love our horses and want to be the best owners we can be for them but sometimes that means saying "goodbye". I am sure that you, just like me, did all we could to give our horses a great life and to give them a good end is the last act of love. we aren't gods, we can't make them well, live longer, stop them getting old but we can care for them. you did that for your horse and I did that for mine. Puzzle was my friend for 17 years, I have lovely memories of him, lots of stories that make me smile and I will miss him so much but I will always remember how much he enriched my life. Look through your photos and enjoy your memories, we were so lucky to have them as our friends!
		
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Oldie48 , I am sorry for your loss too, 17 years is a long time to share. He sounds very much loved. x


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## View (7 January 2017)

oldie48 said:



			Hi
I haven't read all the posts but my old Tb was pts this morning so I think I know a little about how you are feeling. We love our horses and want to be the best owners we can be for them but sometimes that means saying "goodbye". I am sure that you, just like me, did all we could to give our horses a great life and to give them a good end is the last act of love. we aren't gods, we can't make them well, live longer, stop them getting old but we can care for them. you did that for your horse and I did that for mine. Puzzle was my friend for 17 years, I have lovely memories of him, lots of stories that make me smile and I will miss him so much but I will always remember how much he enriched my life. Look through your photos and enjoy your memories, we were so lucky to have them as our friends!
		
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Oldie48, so sorry for your loss.  Hugs and take strength that you showed puzzle one final act of kindness


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## buddylove (7 January 2017)

Run free Frankie and Puzzle x


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## Caracarrie (7 January 2017)

horselib said:



			They say that memories are golden,
 and that probably is true,
 but I never wanted memories;
 I only wanted you.
 A million times I've needed you,
 a million times I've cried.
 If love alone could save you,
 you never would have died.
 In life I loved you deeply,
 in death I love you still.
 In my heart you leave a space
 that nothing will ever fill.
 If tears could build a stairway
 and heartache make a lane,
 I could walk the path to heaven
 and bring you back again.
 Our family chains now broken,
 and nothing seems the same.
 but as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
Much love tears in my eyes as I post this.
		
Click to expand...

Lovely and so true.  Thanks for posting it.


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## Fjord (7 January 2017)

I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you.


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## Adopter (7 January 2017)

Sending hugs, run free Frankie and Puzzel.


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## Jellibean (9 January 2017)

So sorry FC.  Hopefully the new boy will keep you moving forward and bring you happiness xxx


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## Girlracer (9 January 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss x


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