# Breed/Type Owner Stereotypes (For Fun)



## MosMum (1 March 2011)

Just for fun, what are the various types of stereotypes for people who own/ride different types/breeds of horses or ponies?

Kallibear can get us started with this, for owners/riders of 'Gyspy Cobs'
(Hope its ok to steal this kallibear?)

"A 'larger' older lady, usually a nervous novice rider. Rarely rides their beloved pride and joy but spends a overly large part of their life brushing out their mane, tails and feathers, with copious amounts of mane and tail conditioner. Said horse, although sparkling clean, is very overweight (due to lack of work) and a bad mannner bulshy little brat but the Cartain Type of Lady can't see this and believes their princess/prince to be faultless. CToL does not see the problem of being squished against the wall, rubbed on, head butted, swung into, dragged about and generally walked all over, and would NEVER consider giving their precious baby a well deserved telling off. Often seen giving others advise on their horses manners, whilst being dragged around and headbutted and rubbed on for treats. CToL beilves they are 'firm' with their horse when giving them a 'talking too' and shaking a finger at them, but are outraged if someone else gave the bad manner little brat a well deserved smack.


Horse owned is often quite a nice natured, quality animal that would be a very nice horse with a good smack, a diet and some hard work.

ETA: the next stage for a CToL is natural horsemandship, after they are finally fed up of being pushed around, So they get themselves the rope, the halter and the stick and spend even less time riding their horse, without realising the problem is THEM, not the animal. "


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## JFTDWS (1 March 2011)

bump, cos I think this thread needs replies, I'm just not feeling witty enough to come up with any right now...


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## dominobrown (1 March 2011)

I could start one about the owners of arabs and spotty horses but will refrain!

I could write another 5 stereotypes for TB owners.
Oh, and owners of Iberians, Fresians, Flashy warmbloods and hairy native ponies...
No one is safe!


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## Girlracer (1 March 2011)

Haha, love that! I'm not feeling awfully witty either, but i would love to hear the stereotype for a TB owner, i wonder if i fit any of them? I quite possibly do!


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## stroppy (1 March 2011)

Ok so what do people of Connemara owners?


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## BarmyC (1 March 2011)

dominobrown said:



			I could start one about the owners of arabs and spotty horses but will refrain!

I could write another 5 stereotypes for TB owners.
Oh, and owners of Iberians, Fresians, Flashy warmbloods and hairy native ponies...
No one is safe!
		
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oh please do the TB owners and WB's


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## Daisy1905 (1 March 2011)

MosMum said:



			J

"A 'larger' older lady, usually a nervous novice rider. Rarely rides their beloved pride and joy but spends a overly large part of their life brushing out their mane, tails and feathers, with copious amounts of mane and tail conditioner. Said horse, although sparkling clean, is very overweight (due to lack of work) and a bad mannner bulshy little brat but the Cartain Type of Lady can't see this and believes their princess/prince to be faultless. CToL does not see the problem of being squished against the wall, rubbed on, head butted, swung into, dragged about and generally walked all over, and would NEVER consider giving their precious baby a well deserved telling off. Often seen giving others advise on their horses manners, whilst being dragged around and headbutted and rubbed on for treats. CToL beilves they are 'firm' with their horse when giving them a 'talking too' and shaking a finger at them, but are outraged if someone else gave the bad manner little brat a well deserved smack.


Horse owned is often quite a nice natured, quality animal that would be a very nice horse with a good smack, a diet and some hard work.
"
		
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haha I know 3 that fit the secription very well.


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## MosMum (1 March 2011)

I can't do Tb or arabs because I own one of the first and half of the second (arab x cob) so will let someone else pick me apart there!

Section A's I'd like to hear about, too hehehe.

ISH's belong to tall women who see no hobby in horsemanship- there's no fun and games its all serious work and eventing/SJ. They know every dam and sire who bred a winning foal since 1845, the bloodlines of every horse they own or would consider owning and can judge the potential jumping height of a full-grown horse from the time its 4 hours old... but have no concept of how to horse around and tutt loudly when they hear of a horse being kept on adlib hay, out 24/7 without a rug. 
They either line shelves with whitener and lay rugs out for their horse to walk on to avoid the mud, or just avoid horses with white on them altogether (hence the huge amount of chestnut and bay SJ'ers!) and can be seen using their own nail files on their horses' hoof if the farrier isn't available exactly 4 weeks from the date of shoeing. 
Their horse has probably never seen an open field without jumps erected and does not know how to walk a straight line without constant contact, encouragement and aids from their riding. When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...

Have I taken this too far?


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## Girlracer (1 March 2011)

MosMum said:



			I can't do Tb or arabs because I own one of the first and half of the second (arab x cob) so will let someone else pick me apart there!

Section A's I'd like to hear about, too hehehe.

ISH's belong to tall women who see no hobby in horsemanship- there's no fun and games its all serious work and eventing/SJ. They know every dam and sire who bred a winning foal since 1845, the bloodlines of every horse they own or would consider owning and can judge the potential jumping height of a full-grown horse from the time its 4 hours old... but have no concept of how to horse around and tutt loudly when they hear of a horse being kept on adlib hay, out 24/7 without a rug. 
They either line shelves with whitener and lay rugs out for their horse to walk on to avoid the mud, or just avoid horses with white on them altogether (hence the huge amount of chestnut and bay SJ'ers!) and can be seen using their own nail files on their horses' hoof if the farrier isn't available exactly 4 weeks from the date of shoeing. 
Their horse has probably never seen an open field without jumps erected and does not know how to walk a straight line without constant contact, encouragement and aids from their riding. When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...

Have I taken this too far?
		
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This sounds worryingly like someone i know!


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## Kenzo (1 March 2011)

''When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...''

PMSL


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## Vixen Van Debz (1 March 2011)

All connemara owners I know are gritty, strong-willed, will showjump with their horse looking like a happy hippo, and know their pony's parentage off by heart. They are usually like their horses in that they're loyal and hard-working, but take time to get to know you first before becoming a true friend.

The Fresians thread (38 pages and counting) seens to show that Fresian owners are generally lovely, and appreciate life's aesthetic fineries!


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## marmalade76 (1 March 2011)

Vixen Van Debz said:



			All connemara owners I know are gritty, strong-willed, will showjump with their horse looking like a happy hippo, and know their pony's parentage off by heart. They are usually like their horses in that they're loyal and hard-working, but take time to get to know you first before becoming a true friend.

The Fresians thread (38 pages and counting) seens to show that Fresian owners are generally lovely, and appreciate life's aesthetic fineries!
		
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Yay, I own a connie cross, and even though I don't do a lot, he still does more than all the other horses on my yard!

Don't know about fresian owners, but as I never see any competing, hunting or even on fun rides round here I can assume their owners just like having something fancy and flashy to look at and that's all.  *runs and hides*


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## MosMum (1 March 2011)

LOL I quite like the look of fresians but for some reason find them intimidating :O


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## horsey mad matt (1 March 2011)

right they may not be very good but here goes:

thoroughbred, has been turned out for 10 mins and is being brought back in, all rugged up from head to toe in a heat wave. his morning feed consists of a bucket full of mix and oats. ridden in a dutch gag and draw reins with a rear and buck to be added, with his sides heaving after bolting and jumping the gate. the owner is tall and slim and has velcrow (to stay on) on her cream breeches and smartly polished boots. box walks and crib bites and even a little wind sucking we all love a nice thoroughbred


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## tigerlily12345 (1 March 2011)

Vixen Van Debz said:



			All connemara owners I know are gritty, strong-willed, will showjump with their horse looking like a happy hippo, and know their pony's parentage off by heart. They are usually like their horses in that they're loyal and hard-working, but take time to get to know you first before becoming a true friend.
		
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i know someone exactly like this!


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## Odd Socks (1 March 2011)

absolutely love this thread!  hopefully some more witty comments will come out...I'd love to hear about andalusian owners! Give me your worst


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## GemBav (1 March 2011)

dominobrown said:



*I could start one about the owners of arabs* and spotty horses but will refrain!

I could write another 5 stereotypes for TB owners.
Oh, and owners of Iberians, Fresians, Flashy warmbloods and hairy native ponies...
No one is safe!
		
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LOL please do, I always wondered what others generally think of us arab owners


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## HashRouge (1 March 2011)

gemfox123 said:



			LOL please do, I always wondered what others generally think of us arab owners  

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I could do a wicked one about Arab owners, but I don't know if I'm allowed since I own one


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## sidesaddlegirl (1 March 2011)

horsey mad matt said:



			right they may not be very good but here goes:

thoroughbred, has been turned out for 10 mins and is being brought back in, all rugged up from head to toe in a heat wave. his morning feed consists of a bucket full of mix and oats. ridden in a dutch gag and draw reins with a rear and buck to be added, with his sides heaving after bolting and jumping the gate. the owner is tall and slim and has velcrow (to stay on) on her cream breeches and smartly polished boots. box walks and crib bites and even a little wind sucking we all love a nice thoroughbred 

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LOL, that ain't my TB! Although the cribbing is correct


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## GemBav (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			I could do a wicked one about Arab owners, but I don't know if I'm allowed since I own one 

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Go on......a dare you to lol x


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## Spotsrock (1 March 2011)

dominobrown said:



			I could start one about the owners of arabs and spotty horses but will refrain!!
		
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Please do. I have a spotty arab so i'm curious what that makes me!                      How about adults on large mental ponies. - peter pan complex.


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## HashRouge (1 March 2011)

There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie


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## Spotsrock (1 March 2011)

Dippy Hippy I love it! I bought my arab for her spotty parentage. The arab bit was incidental.  Have since found out how good her arab lieage is. No wonder seller thought I was strange! Treat it like the part spotty it is. Lol


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## GemBav (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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HAHAHA now that's funny!!


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## Amaranta (1 March 2011)

The Iberian owner:

Tends to be an older lady who has always loved the looks of the Iberian, plus she has heard that they are very easy to ride and own.  She is now living her dream and it has turned into a nightmare.  Having paid a five figure sum for Pedro who appeared a paragon of virtue when she viewed in Spain, having been feted by an agent and wined and dined by several stud owners.  Sadly once Pedro was safely on UK soil everything turned sour.  He would not let her blow up his nose and whisper in his ear, he kept screaming at her mare in the next stable and the first ride resulted in a broken collarbone.  She enlisted the help of an experienced spanish trainer who now wont let her ride him and is competing him at Advanced Medium.  Ahh well at least she can now brush his mane and tail and actually, basking in reflected glory is not all that bad.


DISCLAIMER:  This is not an indication of ALL iberian owners, just some of them!


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## JFTDWS (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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LOVE this, both are perfection.  I know a few of both   I love how people seem to reflect their horses - the dippy hippy's horse is quite happy out for his 10 hour hack and isn't scared of anything, whereas "that nutty arab" is as terrified of a plastic bag as his owner is of him...

It's Patricia Leitch though, just for the record.  Mis-spent youth and all that.  I always preferred the highlands in those books anyway.  (Oh heck AND I ended up with one...)


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## JessandCharlie (1 March 2011)

The Friesian Owner:

Having gazed at pictures on google for the last 4 years at these magnificent black animals, gawping at their high stepping gait and muscular build, this horse owner has dreamt of owning a friesian. She may have had a Dales for many years; her own miniature Friesian. She may well be recently divorced, or had a large inheritance from a long lost and little known relative, who knows? But for some reason now she has embarked on the romantic adventure to finally have one of these beautiful animals all of her own. She has spent hours trawling the FPS, the FHAGBI, the FHANA and is fully clued up on inbreeding percentages, prolific sires, the breed's history and the whos who in Friesian breeding and finally embarked on her trip to Holland. 

On returning with her steed, a 4 year old stallion, Herman, she is now knee deep in pig oil, sulphur, main and tail spray and fly sheets but unfortunately has a horse who has turned a funny brown colour in the sun, rubbed a chunk of main out and she can't bloody ride 'coz they just don't make saddles to fit the darn things over here!

Oh well, he looks nice in a white headcollar. And he is a lovely chap... maybe she will invest in a trap and teach him to drive.


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## friesian80 (1 March 2011)

JessandCharlie said:



			The Friesian Owner:

Having gazed at pictures on google for the last 4 years at these magnificent black animals, gawping at their high stepping gait and muscular build, this horse owner has dreamt of owning a friesian. She may have had a Dales for many years; her own miniature Friesian. She may well be recently divorced, or had a large inheritance from a long lost and little known relative, who knows? But for some reason now she has embarked on the romantic adventure to finally have one of these beautiful animals all of her own. She has spent hours trawling the FPS, the FHAGBI, the FHANA and is fully clued up on inbreeding percentages, prolific sires, the breed's history and the whos who in Friesian breeding and finally embarked on her trip to Holland. 

On returning with her steed, a 4 year old stallion, Herman, she is now knee deep in pig oil, sulphur, main and tail spray and fly sheets but unfortunately has a horse who has turned a funny brown colour in the sun, rubbed a chunk of main out and she can't bloody ride 'coz they just don't make saddles to fit the darn things over here!

Oh well, he looks nice in a white headcollar. And he is a lovely chap... maybe she will invest in a trap and teach him to drive.
		
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Haha love it, however I have to disagree with the saddle thing first one I tried fitted a treat, however I think it was a total fluke!


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## Firewell (1 March 2011)

Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away.
Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented'


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## el_Snowflakes (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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hahahaaa!

iv only ever owned chestnut mares.....and i blame patricia leach!!!


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## Girlracer (1 March 2011)

firewell said:



			Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away.
Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented' 

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Brilliant, i'm not to far off this i don't think


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## Brambridge04 (1 March 2011)

D natives, especially newfie owners!


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## MinxGTi (1 March 2011)

Ha ha the TB one is by far the best yet....


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## horsey mad matt (1 March 2011)

the cob (i have a cob)

a rider has been having lessons at a local riding school and has decided to finally get herself a horse, she has been saving up and can finally afford it!! she always liked the cob and had seen quite a few around with long flowing mains and very hairy legs. So she looked on horsemart and found a horse to buy, after going to see it and sorting everything she finally brought it home and lead him off the lorry, and tie him up outside his stable to groom him. he was looking all smart with his new lightweight rug on and she turned him out, with his ration of hay, into the mud paddock. the next morning she turned up with his tack to ride him, grabbed his headcollar from the stable and went to get him. hanging on the gate hinges is what was thought to be his new rug now shredded and covered in muck. he was also covered in mud from head to toe, but anyway she brushed him tacked him up and mounted. she took him out for a long 5 hour hack him, not turning a hoof at anything. she retured with a big grin on her face.


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## MrsHutt (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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Hahaha!  I know _both_ of these!  But my friend is deffo the second one! 

I think I'm probably the 'older lady' cob owner!  (Or maybe 'all the gear and no idea')


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## Potato! (1 March 2011)

What does everyone think of Haffie owners


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## thespanishmane (1 March 2011)

Iberian owner speaking!
However, as mentioned, we are not all the same, but here is my stereotype!

'Bewitched by the long manes and tails, the fact that they only ever seem to be in sparkling white or rocking horse grey, can perform the most fantastic balletic moves, to be ridden by rider who never moves, using long reins with a delicate touch, the (older) wanna have paints the same picture in their mind and puts themself in it.  What is a work of classic art in their mind turns out to be a cartoon by Thelwell.  Signor Spaniard  has successfully got shot of his unpapered, unbranded horse who has been squished into submission by a fat bloke with huge spurs.  Wanna have pays out willingly to the entourage who all need a handful of euros for finding the pegasus look alike.  indeed, back in England he does fly.  Every time she attempts to put her leg on!'

I could do Arabs and Exmoors and Warmbloods too!


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## KittyJay (1 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. The first kind bought their horse because it's nice to look at, but every time it snorts they jump a foot in the air. Mr Arab happily takes advantage of the situation and cheerfully terrorizes his owner with lots of arty farty look-at-me prancing and snorting and becomes known locally as "that nutty Arab". His owner, despite being a quivering wreck every time she has to ride him, is still convinced that her horse is a delicate flower and makes sure he is rugged up to the nines every time there is a breath of wind. These people own Arabs because they fell in love with Shantih from the Jinny at Finmory stories. It is all Patricia Leach's fault.
The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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Yes - I fell in love with Shantih and Jinny and had completely forgotten about those books until I read that!


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## spotty_pony (1 March 2011)

These are fantastic! 

I would love to hear what you all think of Appaloosa Owners!


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## horsey mad matt (1 March 2011)

bump - these are all really great!!!!


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## kez1001 (1 March 2011)

firewell said:



			Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away.
Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented' 

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this ^^^^ sooo funny 

ok so i can i do a welsh section a owner!

elizabeth has bought a 4yo welsh section a for her daughter jessica. they are going to do showing classes with him after jessica breaks him in, she is 10yo and should be able to manage this by now! so kitted out in body protector, skull cap and spurs jessica rides the welshie in a safari cub saddle with a handle to hold onto when he bucks. she is struggling to get him to do a show pony trot as he loves to perform airs above the ground for good fun and can spook in a heartbeat launching jessica into space with gusto! standing martingale and pelham are not working! also welshie is an absolute pro at escaping out of his restricted grazing paddock and locating the feed room in the middle of the night, elizabeth just cant imagine why he would do this and in desperation buys a grazing muzzle which welshie becomes apt at removing in under 5 minutes! this is ruining his chances of doing well in the show ring and also the oats he steal make his bicks even higher and harder for jessica to sit to! in desperation elizabeth sends welshie away for reschooling as jessica refuses to ride him! he returns a fitter pony who does a lovely show pony trot but jessica is now terrified of him as he chases her around the yard to nip her for tit bits but elizabeth insists she must ride him as they are now definately qualified for HOYS as pro rider has reschooled him!


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## sidesaddlegirl (1 March 2011)

firewell said:



			Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away.
		
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Hmmm, I don't seem to fit the TB owner stereotype either. I guess Hattie and I break the mould!!!


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## brown tack (1 March 2011)

The welsh sec D owner

The welsh normal a black, bay or chestnut, never has a spec of dirt on it (that is untill its turned out). The owner has all old rugs from 20yrs ago all of which is covered in patches of different colours from it being ripped to sheds on a weekly basis. The owner is generally over 40 and has had horses all her life, she believes in just the good old basics, nuts and chaff only is fed, along with hay on the floor. The horse is very happy and although cheeky is well behaved. They mostly hack, but every once in a while they knock the socks off a best turned out class, a bit of dressage or sj.
The owner must wear cord jods, a wax jacket, have a years worth of muck under their nails and bedding in their hair. They also must have some sort of small dog around, a cuppa in one hand and a fag in the other.


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## BSJAlove (1 March 2011)

someone do the NF owner  hehehe


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## MosMum (1 March 2011)

I don't fit the TB or the Arab ones :| Do I own the wrong horse?


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## Cadfael&Coffee (1 March 2011)

Lol!!! I love this thread!! 

Though I have a TBx ISH, and we fit neither of those descriptions...

Lol if anything I think we'd be the dippy hippy and her horse doing tonnes of mileage!!

Keep em coming this us brill  

How about someone doing a pony club mum?


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## Holly Hocks (1 March 2011)

firewell said:



			Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away.
Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented' 

Click to expand...

This is brilliant.  I have two TBs and I don't fit the mould above (mainly because I don't fit into the "slip of a girl" part, but I think most of us know someone who fits the description above.  I had tears running down my face, laughing, reading that!


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## Ginger Bear (1 March 2011)

Eeekk the TB one is me exactly!! I do the leg bandaging, always buying rugs to rug my boy up to the eye balls.. the last time he had me off a bird flew out of a hedge & he spun & left me in a ditch, always trying to put all my feed bowls, water buckets & nets in a barrow AND.. I'm 5'2, 7st 10 & have a 16'1....oh dear...lol!!


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## brown tack (1 March 2011)

The warm blood owner

She has a lovely looking horse that wouldnt look of place on the cover of vouge magazine. She has brought a warmblood since trying the knot with a well bank balanced husband who puts up with the horse coming first in his wifes eyes.
The lady owner (shes got to be called a lady) has got a horse that has done grand prix dressage even though she only manages to do a walk/trot test, but their turn out is out of this world not a hair out of place on both horse or rider. Make up is always worn (on both horse and rider), manes are pulled every time she grooms, (8 times a day) and manes dont even blow in the wind due to it being that perfect. 
The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints. 
All tack is hand made with lots of bling, cost more then most peoples cars, but thats why the husband is there. They normally group together with other warmblood owners and do lunch daily. 
Although they are down the yard all day every day they still pay the yo to muck out, turn out and bring in, just in case theres a bit of mud involved. 
Warmblood owners are living their childhood dreams and even though they dont do mud, they can be counted upon for a cheering up if something goes wrong (again!) with the tb


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## Apercrumbie (1 March 2011)

The Welsh Sec D

The Welshie and his pet owner are constantly covered in either mud or hay and have that rather "windswept and interesting" look about them.  The Welshie makes up for the dirt with his gorgeous gleaming coat..............his owner invariably doesn't.  Hacking is the order of the day, however we must remind people that Welshies aren't lazy cobs so the scary thing of the day today is......chickens and cars....and that person walking 100m up the road!  

The tbxwelsh

The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  The horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.  

(I own both of these btw so I am using myself and others that I have met as my basis)


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## brown tack (1 March 2011)

the tb owner

is compeltly nuts, spends forever on the phone to vet, farrier and back person, never has any money cos the big 16.2hh tb had ethier eaten it all or its paid the vet. the TB owner never rides due a problem with said tb.
The tb must have at least 100 rugs with 80 of those having newmarket stripes. The tb owner is as stressed as the tb as its been on box reat for 3weeks because it cut its leg the first time it went out after the persiuos box rest. the other liveries on the yard are at their wits end cos the tb is box walking, wind sucking, cribbing all at once. they then make the owner take it out for a walk, which ends in the tb being on its back legs the whole time before getting away and injuring itself again. 
The tb owner is ethier one of 2 types 
1) a young 18yr girl that learned to ride in a riding school and never sat on a real horse, but neddy was going for £300 at the sales and it was all that she could afford.
2) a old lady 60+ pays nothing for the horse and comes straight out of racing from a "chap" she once knew. However she manages to win round Eric and ends up doing low level eventing, to which everyone is amazed at since she needs a hosist to get on anything over 12hh due to her bad knees, neck, back, arm. She must have a fag in hand at all times when riding.


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## Snowysadude (1 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			The warm blood owner

She has a lovely looking horse that wouldnt look of place on the cover of vouge magazine. She has brought a warmblood since trying the knot with a well bank balanced husband who puts up with the horse coming first in his wifes eyes.
The lady owner (shes got to be called a lady) has got a horse that has done grand prix dressage even though she only manages to do a walk/trot test, but their turn out is out of this world not a hair out of place on both horse or rider. Make up is always worn (on both horse and rider), manes are pulled every time she grooms, (8 times a day) and manes dont even blow in the wind due to it being that perfect. 
The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints. 
All tack is hand made with lots of bling, cost more then most peoples cars, but thats why the husband is there. They normally group together with other warmblood owners and do lunch daily. 
Although they are down the yard all day every day they still pay the yo to muck out, turn out and bring in, just in case theres a bit of mud involved. 
Warmblood owners are living their childhood dreams and even though they dont do mud, they can be counted upon for a cheering up if something goes wrong (again!) with the tb
		
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LOL!! The only bits that are true for me are: "She has a lovely looking horse that wouldnt look of place on the cover of vouge magazine" (very bias !), "got a horse that has done grand prix dressage even though she only manages to do a walk/trot test" (not quite that extreme though but hes better schooled than I am) and "The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints " (Although I dont faint I just think hes a prat!). 

I love this description I actually know someone with three warmbloods (one broken, one being broken and one is still a yearling) who suits this desc perfectly!!


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## dafthoss (1 March 2011)

The native pony owner constantly battling said ponys sense of humor and waistline and bl00dy determined for when said pony amuses it's self at random points


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## FanyDuChamp (1 March 2011)

horsey mad matt said:



			the cob (i have a cob)

a rider has been having lessons at a local riding school and has decided to finally get herself a horse, she has been saving up and can finally afford it!! she always liked the cob and had seen quite a few around with long flowing mains and very hairy legs. So she looked on horsemart and found a horse to buy, after going to see it and sorting everything she finally brought it home and lead him off the lorry, and tie him up outside his stable to groom him. he was looking all smart with his new lightweight rug on and she turned him out, with his ration of hay, into the mud paddock. the next morning she turned up with his tack to ride him, grabbed his headcollar from the stable and went to get him. hanging on the gate hinges is what was thought to be his new rug now shredded and covered in muck. he was also covered in mud from head to toe, but anyway she brushed him tacked him up and mounted. she took him out for a long 5 hour hack him, not turning a hoof at anything. she retured with a big grin on her face.
		
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That is me and Fany, even though she is technically a draft horse. Fany can get muddy just looking at a field! And she managed to kill a rug in 10 mins, seriously.
FDC


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## Brambridge04 (1 March 2011)

The pony club mum - 

Has no idea about horses, but likes to chat to the other mums and drink copious amounts of coffee, calls encouraging words should pony play up, and stands watching bursting with pride at shows, even if child or said pony are being spoilt little sods.......but overall a good intentioned, if some what pushy, friendly person, always ready to talk "Pony" with anyone....

NOW SOMEONE PLEEEASE DO NF owners x


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## MizzPurpleKitten (1 March 2011)

I have a Welsh Sec D and a Warmblood and don't fit those stereotypes either.....I must have the wrong horses lol

This thread is hilarious....I wish I was feeling witty tonight as I'm pretty sure I could do a good one for Warmbloods and Welsh Ds too!


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## FanyDuChamp (1 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			The warm blood owner

She has a lovely looking horse that wouldnt look of place on the cover of vouge magazine. She has brought a warmblood since trying the knot with a well bank balanced husband who puts up with the horse coming first in his wifes eyes.
The lady owner (shes got to be called a lady) has got a horse that has done grand prix dressage even though she only manages to do a walk/trot test, but their turn out is out of this world not a hair out of place on both horse or rider. Make up is always worn (on both horse and rider), manes are pulled every time she grooms, (8 times a day) and manes dont even blow in the wind due to it being that perfect. 
The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints. 
All tack is hand made with lots of bling, cost more then most peoples cars, but thats why the husband is there. They normally group together with other warmblood owners and do lunch daily. 
Although they are down the yard all day every day they still pay the yo to muck out, turn out and bring in, just in case theres a bit of mud involved. 
Warmblood owners are living their childhood dreams and even though they dont do mud, they can be counted upon for a cheering up if something goes wrong (again!) with the tb
		
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No me I am afraid, my KWPN is scruffy and a bit porky at present, I don't do dressage, although he was bought for him and daughter to do it. Is ridden in a Wintec and is lucky if he gets a good groom once a week.However he is gorgeous (in my opinion anyway) and "The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints."  Is true, he is like the girl with the curl when he is good he is very good and when he is bad he is horrid!
FDC


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## HBB (1 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			The welsh sec D owner

The welsh normal a black, bay or chestnut, never has a spec of dirt on it (that is untill its turned out). The owner has all old rugs from 20yrs ago all of which is covered in patches of different colours from it being ripped to sheds on a weekly basis. The owner is generally over 40 and has had horses all her life, she believes in just the good old basics, nuts and chaff only is fed, along with hay on the floor. The horse is very happy and although cheeky is well behaved. They mostly hack, but every once in a while they knock the socks off a best turned out class, a bit of dressage or sj.
		
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PMSL at this ^^


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## Amaranta (1 March 2011)

Jean owns a Newfie that she bought straight off the forest.  She is a tough, no nonsense type with a well developed sense of humour.  She leans heavily on her sense of humour daily whilst retrieving Bumble from the field next door, into which he regularly jumps.  Although she has a tough exterior, Jean is a softie at heart.

Jean loves showing but gets very angst ridden when up again the flashier D's and Connies and gets very sick of explaining to the judge that no, Bumble is not a bad example of a Section D but is in fact a New Forest.  

At home Bumble lives out without a rug for fear of the dreaded laminitis and Jean is normally coated with varying amounts of mud/hay/bay hair but get them in the show ring and they scrub up fantastically.


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## Brambridge04 (1 March 2011)

Amaranta said:



			Jean owns a Newfie that she bought straight off the forest.  She is a tough, no nonsense type with a well developed sense of humour.  She leans heavily on her sense of humour daily whilst retrieving Bumble from the field next door, into which he regularly jumps.  Although she has a tough exterior, Jean is a softie at heart.

Jean loves showing but gets very angst ridden when up again the flashier D's and Connies and gets very sick of explaining to the judge that no, Bumble is not a bad example of a Section D but is in fact a New Forest.  

At home Bumble lives out without a rug for fear of the dreaded laminitis and Jean is normally coated with varying amounts of mud/hay/bay hair but get them in the show ring and they scrub up fantastically.
		
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Hahaha I got my newfie straight off forest, and i need my sense of humour at times! but she is a chestnut and so far stayed in her own field......oh and needed a rug in winter!


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## horsey mad matt (1 March 2011)

ahh this thread is great!!!!! keep em coming


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## Charliepony (1 March 2011)

On the off chance of making everyone hate me  I own a thoroughbred and a warmblood, and have had all sorts of breed in the past, but (hopefully!!) I don't fit the stereotype! 

*Thoroughbred owners* - A bit mad, always have a manic glint in their eye.

*Warmblood owners *- Scared of their horse, despite being under constant supervision of the priciest international trainers, and under the impression that an equine can live happily in a 12' by 12' box all it's life.

*Cob owners* - Middle aged woman that has come to riding late in life, very nervous and their horse gets away with whatever it wants!

*Showjumper* - Vain and obsessive about putting as much tack and sheepskin as possible on their horse.

*Irish Draught owner* - Very loud and swears every time they open their mouth, loves drinking and singing hunting songs! 

*Western rider* - Not much good at english riding, so giving western a shot.

*Parelli owner *- Someone who's scared of their horse.

*Welsh Cob owner *- See Thoroughbred owner.

*Baroque breed owner *(PRE of friesian) - More money than sense, bought a ready made horse that a monkey could ride and are now under the impression that they can do classical dressage.

*Arab owner* - Middle aged woman new to horses who wanted something flashier then a cob, ended up with a nutty arab that they can't ride.


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## Charliepony (1 March 2011)

*Pony games rider* - If you see one approaching, get out the way! For a child that is incredibly good at bending races, and a pony that never touches a pole, they always seem keen to plough down any standers by...

*Pony club team rider* - Always wears the biggest bit and spurs possible, and stuffs the (naturally lazy) pony full of oats so that his eyes bulge out and he jumps around on the spot.

*Eventer* - Fearless! But hates all breeds bar the Irish Sport Horse.

*Dressage rider* - Too posh to talk to anyone else up the yard, or so much as lift a finger when it comes to general horse care.


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## supaspot (1 March 2011)

miniature horse owners
usually middle aged  or older, they have been horse owners all their lives but now too old or due to illness too decrepid to ride anymore , they become totally obsessed with winning in the showring and spend a small fortune  on importing "all the best bloodlines" in order to do so ,then get upset when the judge mistakes the american miniature for a shetland pony 
shes very proud of her little man and leaps at every opportunity to show him off  and she spends hours shopping for rugs , slinkys and  show halters but spends little or nothing on herself and often looks like a trog (except for her show outfit of course!) 
at shows you will often see said mini owner surrounded by children while owner gives lectures on the difference between a mini horse and a shetland pony 
usually becomes an avid collector and owns more than one


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## Charliepony (1 March 2011)

*Pony club mum* - Her little darling is the most talented child in the country, she makes sure everyone knows this by repeating their achievements every few minutes - Quite a lot of achievements, as any competetive opposition to little darling is 'dealt with'. Knows nothing about horses but is only too happy to give her (loud) opinion, and to pass judgement on any beast that don't quite measure up to little darling's £15,000, professionally schooled pushbutton sporthorse ("what is THAT?"). Gets into a rage if anyone beats little darling at anything, calls it a fluke and refuses to talk to the winning child civilly as long as it lives.


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## Charliepony (1 March 2011)

Ooh I'm enjoying this  Sorry if they're mean, I don't mean it, honest! 

*Adults with ponies *- Under the impression that their docile plod of a pony is a wild beast, and will get in a rage if you call their pony a pony, telling you at length that because of it's breeding (caspian, arab, fjord, icelandic, american miniture), it is in fact a HORSE.

*Polo players* - See horses as items - if they lame one, so what, they can buy another, if it's bad at the game, oh well, get rid of it. Only really involved in horses so as to meet rich young elegibles.

*Falabella owners* - Someone who thinks that chihuahuas are cute, and deformities attractive in an animal.

*European pony owner* - (Fjord, Haflinger) Usually suprisingly good at dressage, their pony does tricks too.

*Chestnut mare owner *- Who knows if the owner becomes like the horse, or the horse the owner... Anyway, both stubborn and highly strung, you don't want to get in an argument with one!

*Endurance rider* - Good sense of humour, but no taste in colour or fashion!


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## supaspot (1 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



			Ooh I'm enjoying this  Sorry if they're mean, I don't mean it, honest! 

*Adults with ponies *- Under the impression that their docile plod of a pony is a wild beast, and will get in a rage if you call their pony a pony, telling you at length that because of it's breeding (caspian, arab, fjord, icelandic, american miniture), it is in fact a HORSE.
!
		
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so true !!!!!lmao



Charliepony said:



			Falabella owners[/B] - Someone who thinks that chihuahuas are cute, and deformities attractive in an animal.

!
		
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 I own a pomeranian does that count lol


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## dibbin (1 March 2011)

Charliepony - for the yard I was at, which had 50 horses on it so a pretty good spread of breeds, most of those are spot on!


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## skint1 (1 March 2011)

firewell said:



			Amaranta that is so true lol!!

Ok I will try a Tb one 

The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away.
Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented' 

Click to expand...

awww TB girl is a lot like my daughter


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## skint1 (1 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			the tb owner

is compeltly nuts, spends forever on the phone to vet, farrier and back person, never has any money cos the big 16.2hh tb had ethier eaten it all or its paid the vet. the TB owner never rides due a problem with said tb.
The tb must have at least 100 rugs with 80 of those having newmarket stripes. The tb owner is as stressed as the tb as its been on box reat for 3weeks because it cut its leg the first time it went out after the persiuos box rest. the other liveries on the yard are at their wits end cos the tb is box walking, wind sucking, cribbing all at once. they then make the owner take it out for a walk, which ends in the tb being on its back legs the whole time before getting away and injuring itself again. 
The tb owner is ethier one of 2 types 
1) a young 18yr girl that learned to ride in a riding school and never sat on a real horse, but neddy was going for £300 at the sales and it was all that she could afford.
		
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Mind there are some shades of this too  Very witty!


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## Charliepony (2 March 2011)

LOL! Good!! They're all loosely based on people I know, but it's funny how some breeds do seem to attract a certain type of people! Like Welsh Cobs, the owners are always fearless and a bit mental, I swear it! I have yet to meet one that's not!

And I think I love thoroughbreds so much because they're so needy, it's awful but I love wrapping them up in rugs, and using special soft grooming brushes because normal body brushes are too spiky for them, and only buying them fleece lined stuff, and pandering to their every oversensitive whim... Oh dear


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## horsey mad matt (2 March 2011)

bump


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## Toffee44 (2 March 2011)

With the exception of 40yrs old I am a Welsh  sec D.owner! 


Can anyone do a hackney owner?


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## MochaDun (2 March 2011)

dafthoss said:



			The native pony owner constantly battling said ponys sense of humor and waistline and bl00dy determined for when said pony amuses it's self at random points
		
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Spot on but I would add also getting a great deal of pleasure and laughs from said pony


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## unbalanced (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



			LOL! Good!! They're all loosely based on people I know, but it's funny how some breeds do seem to attract a certain type of people! *Like Welsh Cobs, the owners are always fearless and a bit mental, I swear it! I have yet to meet one that's not!*

And I think I love thoroughbreds so much because they're so needy, it's awful but I love wrapping them up in rugs, and using special soft grooming brushes because normal body brushes are too spiky for them, and only buying them fleece lined stuff, and pandering to their every oversensitive whim... Oh dear 

Click to expand...

Haha I am a Welsh Cob owner who does Parelli - actually I am fearless when it comes to my own horse but terrified of getting on my friends horses in case I break anything, especially the dressage horse!


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## RDO (2 March 2011)

thespanishmane said:



			I could do Arabs and Exmoors and Warmbloods too!
		
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Do an exmoor .


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## MosMum (2 March 2011)

_the tb owner

 never has any money cos the big 16.2hh tb had ethier eaten it all or its paid the vet. the TB owner never rides due a problem with said tb._

Mostly true- except I don't ride much because he's so underweight 

_The tb must have at least 100 rugs with 80 of those having newmarket stripes.  _

Hmmm Blue has 2 rugs, one for outdoor and one for indoor. I'm not sure what newmarket stripes are  

But thanks to the PP who said I'm a slip of a girl  I'm actually 26yrs old (not 18) and 5'6' and weigh around 9.5-10stone. 

This is me with MY tb (and by no means a stereotype of others with tbs!)

Steph got Blue on loan as an ex-racer because she was too much of a coward to go out and buy a tb in case it got sick/lame/died on its feet but wanted something at least 15hh which ruled out the entire pony/cob/arab community. Blue hacks out roughly once a week... to the end of the lane and back... because he's underweight in spite of being fed copious amounts of hard feed twice a day along with adlib haylage, being rugged and brought in at night and being wormed 6 times a day. Also, because Steph hasn't yet come to terms with his whithers sticking 24 inches above his actually back and she is quite sure, if he had normal whithers, he would probably be 13.2hh
Blue has a habit of kicking the stable wall, double barrels, if he's not fed before the others and, five seconds after being put out, stands in hock-deep mud at the gate nodding obsessively until someone brings him back in. 
His tack doesn't match, though it is at least leather, Steph has spent scary amounts of money on riding gear which was immediately covered in mud, muck and haylage but hasn't yet been cleaned as she's only going to do it again tomorrow anyway.


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## catkin (2 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			The welsh sec D owner

The welsh normal a black, bay or chestnut, never has a spec of dirt on it (that is untill its turned out). The owner has all old rugs from 20yrs ago all of which is covered in patches of different colours from it being ripped to sheds on a weekly basis. The owner is generally over 40 and has had horses all her life, she believes in just the good old basics, nuts and chaff only is fed, along with hay on the floor. The horse is very happy and although cheeky is well behaved. They mostly hack, but every once in a while they knock the socks off a best turned out class, a bit of dressage or sj.
The owner must wear cord jods, a wax jacket, have a years worth of muck under their nails and bedding in their hair. They also must have some sort of small dog around, a cuppa in one hand and a fag in the other.
		
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ha ha - how true.
have you been round to our stables?


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## Andalusianlover (2 March 2011)

Iberian Owner Wannabees!!!!!!1

Turns up at importers yard in £100,000 range rover.  Dressed i violet jods with new boots and chaps and furry gillet to keep her mis 50's body warm.  Has come to see the horse of her dreams that she never had due to breeding children but now aforementioned children have gone off travelling, now has time to indulge in her childhood dreams.  Is only interested in the very dappley rocking horse model with very long mane that looks much prettier than any other horse at new found livery yard.  Eventually climbs on very sharp fire breathing Andy only to say she hasnt ridden for 30 years.  Walks round school once on Magnifico who is being forcebly restrained by the groom leading him and declares perfect, I'll have him.  How much over the odds would you like me to pay for him.  Importer rubbing hands to gether saying under his/her breath "here comes another mug" says double what Magnifico is actually worth!  A week later Magnifico is collected from the importer in his new 250,000 quid lorry and taken to his new mud free livery yard with heated stables where he lives out the rest of his life in pure luxury never again to be ridden by his owner who occasionally pops up to groom his mane only.  owner is now very happy as she has become a member of the very trendy horsey clique and gets to go in the hospitality tents at big events and guzzle champagne!

PS.  Thats not me of course!  Mine is a bay, lives at a competition livery yard, gets covered in mud, does lots of jumping x country fences and SJ and long hacks in bad weather and is generally a happy boy!


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## golden_revolution (2 March 2011)

Apercrumbie said:



			The tbxwelsh

The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  The horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.  

(I own both of these btw so I am using myself and others that I have met as my basis)
		
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This and the later quote about the Chestnut Mare has made my day....I am going to print these off!!

I have a Chestnut Welsh X TB and this is her down to a tee! I would add that "although oozing with talent, it is very much WHEN and IF she decides to use it. If welsh X TB feels that they just simply don't want to perform they will use their huuuuggggeeee Welsh trot to simply ignore all aids and attempts of collection, until they deem it neccessary to listen again." But, of course...she will always be "my gorgeous angel" LOL!!!!


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## HorseyyKidd (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



*Chestnut mare owner *- Who knows if the owner becomes like the horse, or the horse the owner... Anyway, both stubborn and highly strung, you don't want to get in an argument with one!
		
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^^ This is so true :L 



Apercrumbie said:



			The tbxwelsh
The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  The horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.
		
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^^ This is so like my other pony! I dont know her breed, but loads of people think shes part welsh, but the description is so like us :L

And as for all the arab posts, I fit none of the things  I dont even know what them Jinny books are? Then again I am 16?

I actually love this thread though btw


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## kickonchaps (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



			And I think I love thoroughbreds so much because they're so needy, it's awful but I love wrapping them up in rugs, and using special soft grooming brushes because normal body brushes are too spiky for them, and only buying them fleece lined stuff, and pandering to their every oversensitive whim... Oh dear 

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LOL!!!!! But unless they're wearing a 500gm turnout with a hood with an underug with a hood and lots of hay, they'll get cold, poor babies!!


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## BSJAlove (2 March 2011)

Amaranta said:



			Jean owns a Newfie that she bought straight off the forest.  She is a tough, no nonsense type with a well developed sense of humour.  She leans heavily on her sense of humour daily whilst retrieving Bumble from the field next door, into which he regularly jumps.  Although she has a tough exterior, Jean is a softie at heart.

Jean loves showing but gets very angst ridden when up again the flashier D's and Connies and gets very sick of explaining to the judge that no, Bumble is not a bad example of a Section D but is in fact a New Forest.  

At home Bumble lives out without a rug for fear of the dreaded laminitis and Jean is normally coated with varying amounts of mud/hay/bay hair but get them in the show ring and they scrub up fantastically.
		
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brilliant


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## _April_ (2 March 2011)

I am nearly crying with laughter here at work LOL

*owner of 15.2 TB mare*





firewell said:



			The thoroughbred, spirited and bold is owned by a slip of a girl. This girl is so thin that with one gust of wind she is in danger of being blown away. She has to be thin however otherwise the legs of her twitchy beast would most likely break. 

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5'3.  Size 8.  Check.




			In fact just in case this is so slip of a girl bandages her steeds legs up to the hilt in an attempt to keep them intact.
		
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Knee boots for hacking - check.  Dalmars for the odd XC we do check - never over 3ft.  Trizone all round for SJ - check.  Hock boots and chaps for introducing any new horses - check




			Slip of a girl is almost as jumpy as her horse, together they move through life jumping at every little thing and slip of a girl is constantly swearing under her breath at birds flying out of hedges and anything else that causes the pair of them to leap out their skin.
		
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aww sadly this part isn't true - my TB is pretty lazy and bombproof when hacking.   I am riddled with nerves at shows though if that counts




			Thoroughbred is ridden in a racing snaffle as a testament to the old days and a jump saddle with several hundred layers of dead sheep to cushion those bony withers and stop their fur from being rubbed away
		
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nuumed girth sleeve and half pad fitted to custom made Ideal saddle - check.  Wilkie snaffle though not racing one lol  




			Slip of a girl has balance akin to an Olympic gymnast on the high beam which is just as well because Thoroughbred can be 'sharp'. She has deceptively strong biceps however brought about by years of dragging TB's feedbucket over to his stable, she would put it in the wheelbarrow but it doesn't fit. The local feed store love her as she alone has kept them in profit over the recession.
		
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Actually the opposite, mine is a remarkably good do'er.




			Slip of a girl LOVES Throughbred mainly because he enables her to indulge in her greatest passion... Shopping! TB requires so many rugs that slip of a girl has been able to buy every type of rug on the Market in every colour! Thoroughbred wears them all at once and all you can see is his ears, one of the other liverys mistook Thoroughbred for 'fat cob' with all his rugs on!
		
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*looks at her enourmous pile of rugs and slinks off*   To be fair though shes always in the lightest I can get away with.





			Slip of a girl can't wait to take Thoroughbred eventing this season, they have practiced their flat out gallop and making the time won't be an issue. Dressage should be interesting and slip of a girl is getting increasingly frustrated that Throughbred insists on doing the centre line in canter half pass, as she tells others though it's just because he is SO 'talented' 

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LMFAO -  This bit is the most perfect.   At our first ever XC comp I trotted a bit of the way and we still came 6th.
For a vivid description of our first ever 'team XC' see this post
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=8415685&highlight=team#post8415685

Dressage is best not talked about -  show jumping is way forward


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## Faro (2 March 2011)

HashRouge said:



			There are two kinds of Arab owners. ......The second kind is convinced that her horse is as indestructible as the hardiest native, and only puts a rug on him in gale-force winds and torrential rain. She takes him out for 10 hour hacks every weekend and they both arrive back at the yard looking as if they just went for a 10 minute toddle down the lane. The horse never ever wears a noseband and his owner usually rides in wellington boots. She's known locally as the dippy hippie 

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This is me, absolutely, without a doubt!  No question about it!


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## jsr (2 March 2011)

Humm we've got a woman on our yard who has a cob,fresian, WB and a ID x...doesn't ride any of them and spends all day cleaning stables and them while paying other people to ride them. Not quiet sure where she fits in these descriptions cos I can see a bit of her in all her choosen horses!!!

Me? I'm a very proud cob owner...not much of the stereotype I'm afraid..I'm hurlting towards 'middle age' but other than that me and him are pretty much nothing like described...well except he can bog off when he feels like it!!!


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## Vixen Van Debz (2 March 2011)

WB owner: convinced their horse is the next Olympic champion in waiting due to their breeding, but seem unaware of the fact that the 20 other WBs on the yard also have famous sires and dams and haven't made it beyond giant pet status. They will tell everyone they meet that their horse&#8217;s half-brother is an eventing champ. Everything matches: numnahs, bandages, rugs etc and also post photos on fb when a vet puts a nice coloured bandage on their legs, but complains when it doesn't compliment their wardrobe. They own lots of branded clothing, and never fail to turn up to even their own-yard, unaffiliated training shows in full whites. Tend to be smiley folk, but seem to live in constant fear of horse being hungry, cold or bored and have lots of stable toys. Constantly get accused of being over-horsed as the bigger, the better with WBs! 

This is all in jest &#8211; we have loads of BWP owners on the yard, including all but one of the GP horses (who&#8217;s a SF). Most laugh at them being called dumb-bloods too! lol.


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## miss_bird (2 March 2011)

Oh my god i am the TB owner and for most part the ISH owner (bar the not letting them get dirty).
So your sterotypes are very true and fitting, oh eeck best go put on some weight and stop buying rugs and pretend to know noting about breeding.
Please dont do a coloured horse owner or i will have to completely re-invent myself.


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## oscarwild (2 March 2011)

Mucky Shavings said:



			the tb owner

is compeltly nuts, spends forever on the phone to vet, farrier and back person, never has any money cos the big 16.2hh tb had ethier eaten it all or its paid the vet. the TB owner never rides due a problem with said tb.
The tb must have at least 100 rugs with 80 of those having newmarket stripes. The tb owner is as stressed as the tb as its been on box reat for 3weeks because it cut its leg the first time it went out after the persiuos box rest. the other liveries on the yard are at their wits end cos the tb is box walking, wind sucking, cribbing all at once. they then make the owner take it out for a walk, which ends in the tb being on its back legs the whole time before getting away and injuring itself again.
		
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Well this sums my last horse up perfectly but he was a warmblood.  He is now no longer with us due to his many illnesses he sustained.

Now have a tb lol and she is the one of the calmest tb's i ever met. haha.  She doesnt spook out hacking and takes no feeding to keep her sustained.  She a good doer. lol.


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## madlady (2 March 2011)

JessandCharlie said:



			The Friesian Owner:

Having gazed at pictures on google for the last 4 years at these magnificent black animals, gawping at their high stepping gait and muscular build, this horse owner has dreamt of owning a friesian. She may have had a Dales for many years; her own miniature Friesian. She may well be recently divorced, or had a large inheritance from a long lost and little known relative, who knows? But for some reason now she has embarked on the romantic adventure to finally have one of these beautiful animals all of her own. She has spent hours trawling the FPS, the FHAGBI, the FHANA and is fully clued up on inbreeding percentages, prolific sires, the breed's history and the whos who in Friesian breeding and finally embarked on her trip to Holland. 

On returning with her steed, a 4 year old stallion, Herman, she is now knee deep in pig oil, sulphur, main and tail spray and fly sheets but unfortunately has a horse who has turned a funny brown colour in the sun, rubbed a chunk of main out and she can't bloody ride 'coz they just don't make saddles to fit the darn things over here!

Oh well, he looks nice in a white headcollar. And he is a lovely chap... maybe she will invest in a trap and teach him to drive.
		
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Brilliant LOL

Although I bought only 2 of mine and bred the rest myself, also haven't had saddle problems so far


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## Always Blue (2 March 2011)

Snowysadude said:



			LOL!! The only bits that are true for me are: "She has a lovely looking horse that wouldnt look of place on the cover of vouge magazine" (very bias !), "got a horse that has done grand prix dressage even though she only manages to do a walk/trot test" (not quite that extreme though but hes better schooled than I am) and "The warmblood itself is normally good although every now and then it throws its toys out of the pram, to which its lady owner is so shocked, she almost faints " (Although I dont faint I just think hes a prat!). 

I love this description I actually know someone with three warmbloods (one broken, one being broken and one is still a yearling) who suits this desc perfectly!!
		
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ahahaha! this would fit the description of a few on my yard!!


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## Always Blue (2 March 2011)

Vixen Van Debz said:



			WB owner: convinced their horse is the next Olympic champion in waiting due to their breeding, but seem unaware of the fact that the 20 other WBs on the yard also have famous sires and dams and haven't made it beyond giant pet status. They will tell everyone they meet that their horses half-brother is an eventing champ. Everything matches: numnahs, bandages, rugs etc and also post photos on fb when a vet puts a nice coloured bandage on their legs, but complains when it doesn't compliment their wardrobe. They own lots of branded clothing, and never fail to turn up to even their own-yard, unaffiliated training shows in full whites. Tend to be smiley folk, but seem to live in constant fear of horse being hungry, cold or bored and have lots of stable toys. Constantly get accused of being over-horsed as the bigger, the better with WBs! 

This is all in jest  we have loads of BWP owners on the yard, including all but one of the GP horses (whos a SF). Most laugh at them being called dumb-bloods too! lol.
		
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All the gear No idea!!


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## Charla (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



*Warmblood owners *- Scared of their horse, despite being under constant supervision of the priciest international trainers, and under the impression that an equine can live happily in a 12' by 12' box all it's life.
		
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LOL definitely doesn't fit me and my warmblood. He lives out very happily 24/7 - through winter too!


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## Flicker (2 March 2011)

MosMum said:



			ISH's belong to tall women who see no hobby in horsemanship- there's no fun and games its all serious work and eventing/SJ. They know every dam and sire who bred a winning foal since 1845, the bloodlines of every horse they own or would consider owning and can judge the potential jumping height of a full-grown horse from the time its 4 hours old... but have no concept of how to horse around and tutt loudly when they hear of a horse being kept on adlib hay, out 24/7 without a rug. 
They either line shelves with whitener and lay rugs out for their horse to walk on to avoid the mud, or just avoid horses with white on them altogether (hence the huge amount of chestnut and bay SJ'ers!) and can be seen using their own nail files on their horses' hoof if the farrier isn't available exactly 4 weeks from the date of shoeing. 
Their horse has probably never seen an open field without jumps erected and does not know how to walk a straight line without constant contact, encouragement and aids from their riding. When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...

QUOTE]

Jesus!!  You know someone I know!  That is scary   

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## Flicker (2 March 2011)

Love the WB stereotype too - genius!


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## Apercrumbie (2 March 2011)

golden_revolution said:



			This and the later quote about the Chestnut Mare has made my day....I am going to print these off!!

I have a Chestnut Welsh X TB and this is her down to a tee! I would add that "although oozing with talent, it is very much WHEN and IF she decides to use it. If welsh X TB feels that they just simply don't want to perform they will use their huuuuggggeeee Welsh trot to simply ignore all aids and attempts of collection, until they deem it neccessary to listen again." But, of course...she will always be "my gorgeous angel" LOL!!!!

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I forgot to add about the talented bit!!  Will edit it now


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## Hippona (2 March 2011)

Genius.....

Don't know how I would be classified/stereotyped, seeing as I own a Highland  AND and arab....

...pony-squishing,  Jinny-at- Finmory wannabee??

Hell yeah.,.....


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## Apercrumbie (2 March 2011)

Grrr it won't let me edit so here it is again!!  Apologies for the repetition.

The tbxwelsh
The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  Despite his undeniable talent, the horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.


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## libertylou (2 March 2011)

appaloosa anybody????


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## woodlandswow (2 March 2011)

hahahaha.. absoloutley love this.. anyone got one for the *kind of horse that has come over from ireland.. no one knows anything about its age, height, breeding, name etc... but thinks it could win badminton tomorrow??*
i know LOTS of these kind of peolple but wouldnt be brave enough to do one myself


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## Odd Socks (2 March 2011)

libertylou said:



			appaloosa anybody????
		
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I'll give appys a go...

*the appaloosa owners* are dotty about their spotty horse.  They are usually in their late 30s/ early 40s with flyaway hair that somewhat resembles their horses tail.  They know the ins and outs of the breeding and heritage of every other spotty horse on the planet.  They do not care that their horse has a poor tail and will only put weight on around the middle but instead, spend their days counting how many heart shaped spots said spotty pony has.  They like to try a bit of everything but excel in the show ring where the leopard spot owners are thinking "that blanket spot is just a bay, there's no way it should have been placed higher than me!" whilst the blanket spot owners are thinking "that thing shouldnt be in this class, its a fleabitten grey!" After said show, dotty spotty horse owners praise horse to the heavens with carrots and treats only to find that when home time comes, spotty horse would actually like to wait until every other horse has left the showground before being loaded in to their trailer


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## Charliepony (2 March 2011)

woodlandswow said:



			hahahaha.. absoloutley love this.. anyone got one for the *kind of horse that has come over from ireland.. no one knows anything about its age, height, breeding, name etc... but thinks it could win badminton tomorrow??*
i know LOTS of these kind of peolple but wouldnt be brave enough to do one myself 

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OMG me too!! That is spooky, I can list about 5 off the top of my head! I'll have a go at doing one


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## Charliepony (2 March 2011)

That Appy one is so true! I used to own an appaloosa and that sounds just like us 

*Irish bog pony owner *- Paid a small fortune for their imported bog pony of indeterminate breeding ("he's a Connemara/Irish Sport Horse! Just... er... unregistered") who can apparently jump a house ("he hunted in Ireland, you see?"), although as of yet there is no evidence of this, as the darned thing is petrified of coloured poles. It seems unlikely that bog pony has ever seen the inside of a stable, let alone an arena, but with this hairy heeled creature the owner intends to set the world alight and become world champion in their chosen discipline. ("he's Irish, don't you know, it's only to be expected.") 

*Appaloosa owner *- A whizz when it comes to colour names and genetics, and they adore their horse above all else - once they've owned a spotty botty, nothing else quite compares, and the idea of owning a chestnut or bay appalls them! For some reason, when it comes to Appaloosa owners, normal saddles just don't fit the bill. It has to either be a western, stock or treeless saddle, and if they do settle for the normal synthetic GP, they will have to customise it. Perhaps this is because the appy owner is generally a fan of the perculiar, and so will mismatch and clash their horse's tack to such an extent that it almost seems they do it on purpose. (green flower print saddle cloth, pink excercise boots and an orange nylon bridle anyone?) Their horse is quirky, just like them, and despite being generally fearless, will develop intense phobias to random objects, and their extreme reaction results in them being stuffed full of carrots and chocolate by worried owner. The Appaloosa owner describes their beast's lack of manners as "characterful", and his constant face pulling, ear pinning and teeth baring as "expressive."

What other ones are there?


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## BobbyMondeo (2 March 2011)

god this had cheered me up

I have an anglo arab and i dont fit into either of the tb or the arab ones....anyone do an anglo arab one? Ill see how spot on you are? Hehe


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## Paint it Lucky (2 March 2011)

The anglo-arab owner- this is a rare breed of person with a good sense of humour and a very tolerant nature.  Due to being such nutters, anglo-arabs are not compatible with most owners, many try but fail and as a result the AAs get passed around alot, making them even crazier!  When AAs eventually find their ideal owner (the person prepared to take them on as no one else will put up with them), they can look forward to years together as the AA owner is very loyal.  The AA owner learns to turn a blind eye to their horse's spooking at a leaf or suddenly going from being calm and working beautifully to turning into a snorting dancing beast just because another horse has entered the arena.  The AA owner is not surprised when their horse returns from the field with cuts or lost shoes, despite the going being perfect and not a sharp object in sight.  The AA owner appears to others to have a calm disposition (nessecary to counteract the crazy one of their horse), though really they are just as nutty as their mount and secretly love a mad gallop across the countryside when no ones looking and don't even worry too much about having no brakes ever (they have long since given up trying to find a bit that will stop their horse).  On days when they are not spooking at every filler on the course, the AA easily wins showjumping due to it's lightening speed and quick turns much to it's owners delight.  The AA owner is always very fit partly due to their horse's constant jogging and though sometimes exasperated by their horses rediculous behaviour they will always forgive it due to the horses incredibly friendly and loving nature.


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## BobbyMondeo (2 March 2011)

Hahaha!! Ive not laughed so much in ages.....thats brilliant, apart from mine does have breaks. 
But yeah he was passed around, nobody else will ride him as he is a bit nutty, hes always coming in with some sort of injury and he is scared of anything that moves  Bless him!!

Think i must be crazy for loving him to bits....just like the sterotype apparently hehe


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## Paint Me Proud (2 March 2011)

Paint it Lucky said:



			The anglo-arab owner- this is a rare breed of person with a good sense of humour and a very tolerant nature.  Due to being such nutters, anglo-arabs are not compatible with most owners, many try but fail and as a result the AAs get passed around alot, making them even crazier!  When AAs eventually find their ideal owner (the person prepared to take them on as no one else will put up with them), they can look forward to years together as the AA owner is very loyal.  The AA owner learns to turn a blind eye to their horse's spooking at a leaf or suddenly going from being calm and working beautifully to turning into a snorting dancing beast just because another horse has entered the arena.  The AA owner is not surprised when their horse returns from the field with cuts or lost shoes, despite the going being perfect and not a sharp object in sight.  The AA owner appears to others to have a calm disposition (nessecary to counteract the crazy one of their horse), though really they are just as nutty as their mount and secretly love a mad gallop across the countryside when no ones looking and don't even worry too much about having no brakes ever (they have long since given up trying to find a bit that will stop their horse).  On days when they are not spooking at every filler on the course, the AA easily wins showjumping due to it's lightening speed and quick turns much to it's owners delight.  The AA owner is always very fit partly due to their horse's constant jogging and though sometimes exasperated by their horses rediculous behaviour they will always forgive it due to the horses incredibly friendly and loving nature.
		
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OMG this is so me! Didnt think someone would get it so right!!


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## BobbyMondeo (2 March 2011)

Paint Me Proud said:



			OMG this is so me! Didnt think someone would get it so right!! 

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I know right!! I read it and im like OMG thats me to tee!!


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## sakura (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



*Irish bog pony owner *- Paid a small fortune for their imported bog pony of indeterminate breeding ("he's a Connemara/Irish Sport Horse! Just... er... unregistered") who can apparently jump a house ("he hunted in Ireland, you see?"), although as of yet there is no evidence of this, as the darned thing is petrified of coloured poles. It seems unlikely that bog pony has ever seen the inside of a stable, let alone an arena, but with this hairy heeled creature the owner intends to set the world alight and become world champion in their chosen discipline. ("he's Irish, don't you know, it's only to be expected.")
		
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hahaha I know someone just like that, brilliant, love it!!


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## woodlandswow (2 March 2011)

Charliepony said:



			That Appy one is so true! I used to own an appaloosa and that sounds just like us 

*Irish bog pony owner *- Paid a small fortune for their imported bog pony of indeterminate breeding ("he's a Connemara/Irish Sport Horse! Just... er... unregistered") who can apparently jump a house ("he hunted in Ireland, you see?"), although as of yet there is no evidence of this, as the darned thing is petrified of coloured poles. It seems unlikely that bog pony has ever seen the inside of a stable, let alone an arena, but with this hairy heeled creature the owner intends to set the world alight and become world champion in their chosen discipline. ("he's Irish, don't you know, it's only to be expected.") 
!p
		
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hahahahahahhaha... charliepony.. your genuis.. sounds just like me and my man...we think he is connie/ISH... he hunted in ireland (but was ***** over here)...and hates being in... but seriously though.. he can jump a house..


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## thespanishmane (2 March 2011)

RDO said:



			Do an exmoor .
		
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here goes!
Exmoor owners come in two sizes. 

1.small enough to ride little devil or:
2.far too big to ride little devil, but like to take it for a walk on a headcollar as a bridle is too cruel.  The poor pony has had a dreadful start in life as it was branded dont you know, and it is so sad it stands at the back of the stable.  unbeknowns to owner pony is hiding at the back of the stable as it can bugger off out when the door is opened - you get a better run up from the back and can barge past owner.

small owners ride them, hunt them, cross country them as they are the best small four hoof drives going!
small owners husband also leaps on them in field to see what they do - nothing for a bit, leading to usual false sense of angelic behaviour - then rodeo like crazy dumping husband on ground.

Generally small owners are like their Exmoors -small brown and fluffy and are very good in cold weather, with big bottoms!


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## bryngelenponies (2 March 2011)

Apercrumbie said:



			The tbxwelsh
The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  Despite his undeniable talent, the horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.  

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i don't know anyone like that...


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## Vizslak (2 March 2011)

Apercrumbie said:



			Grrr it won't let me edit so here it is again!!  Apologies for the repetition.

The tbxwelsh
The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  Despite his undeniable talent, the horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.  

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Apercrumbie I was reading this trying to figure out if I knew you and you had watched me riding my boy!  until you got to the jumping thing, mine never ducks out and jumps like a stag.


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## hellywelly1 (2 March 2011)

can we have a cleaveland bay owner pls folks


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## Katieaston (3 March 2011)

Paint it Lucky said:



			The anglo-arab owner- this is a rare breed of person with a good sense of humour and a very tolerant nature.  Due to being such nutters, anglo-arabs are not compatible with most owners, many try but fail and as a result the AAs get passed around alot, making them even crazier!  When AAs eventually find their ideal owner (the person prepared to take them on as no one else will put up with them), they can look forward to years together as the AA owner is very loyal.  The AA owner learns to turn a blind eye to their horse's spooking at a leaf or suddenly going from being calm and working beautifully to turning into a snorting dancing beast just because another horse has entered the arena.  The AA owner is not surprised when their horse returns from the field with cuts or lost shoes, despite the going being perfect and not a sharp object in sight.  The AA owner appears to others to have a calm disposition (nessecary to counteract the crazy one of their horse), though really they are just as nutty as their mount and secretly love a mad gallop across the countryside when no ones looking and don't even worry too much about having no brakes ever (they have long since given up trying to find a bit that will stop their horse).  On days when they are not spooking at every filler on the course, the AA easily wins showjumping due to it's lightening speed and quick turns much to it's owners delight.  The AA owner is always very fit partly due to their horse's constant jogging and though sometimes exasperated by their horses rediculous behaviour they will always forgive it due to the horses incredibly friendly and loving nature.
		
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Hmm some part of this are true, but i think i mostly fit into a different catogory 'the show horse owner' 

A show horseowner could not possiblylet there horse look at another horse, as this may result in scaring!! It must go out in the field to gain the correct 'show condition' (as it refuses to eat hay or hayledge) But it must be double fenced from any other horse for the above reason.
A show horse owner must cover there horse over every possible cm to prevent rubbing or dirt of any kind. It must even be ridden in a lycra hood incase a passing hedge takes a grab for its mane.
Other people feel showing isn't a real 'sport' However a show horse owner feels there horse is obviously as well schooled as any dressage horse, it just chooses not to compete in such presurised competiotons as its beauty is what truly matters.


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## Circe (3 March 2011)

*Appaloosa owner *- A whizz when it comes to colour names and genetics, and they adore their horse above all else - once they've owned a spotty botty, nothing else quite compares, and the idea of owning a chestnut or bay appalls them! For some reason, when it comes to Appaloosa owners, normal saddles just don't fit the bill. It has to either be a western, stock or treeless saddle, and if they do settle for the normal synthetic GP, they will have to customise it. Perhaps this is because the appy owner is generally a fan of the perculiar, and so will mismatch and clash their horse's tack to such an extent that it almost seems they do it on purpose. (green flower print saddle cloth, pink excercise boots and an orange nylon bridle anyone?) Their horse is quirky, just like them, and despite being generally fearless, will develop intense phobias to random objects, and their extreme reaction results in them being stuffed full of carrots and chocolate by worried owner. The Appaloosa owner describes their beast's lack of manners as "characterful", and his constant face pulling, ear pinning and teeth baring as "expressive."


I definately fit this more than the tb owner 
I love my old boys 'expressive' face 
And hes brave as, apart from if he sees a...
duck ! 
Kx

What other ones are there? [/QUOTE]


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## Vixen Van Debz (3 March 2011)

Shetland owner: in complete denial that their pony is a terror. It's the boss of all the 17hh WBs in the field, is an escape artist and entirely controls the hay pile. If he was bigger, they'd be off the yard if something didn't change! They love to tell you how not only can their kids ride them, but Shetties are so well built that they can carry adults too. Apparently they claimed he was fresh when they did get on the pony to prove it and got swiftly bucked off. They are keen to remind people that shetties are not miniature horses, but real hardy ponies. They think it's hilarious that bigger horses are afraid and deliberately walk them past their stables to enjoy their reaction. Then often own a small chihuahua like dog, who also misbehaves but is allowed as they're tiny. Give them a pet alsatian or tall TB and they might not live another day in the yard!

All tongue in cheek. One of the shetties in my yard has a very confident and capable lady owner, got for her son to ride. This is much more like 'Dad'! lol. They've got a little terrier rather than chihuahua though!


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## Levade (19 April 2011)

So funny!!


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## gillianclaude (19 April 2011)

My TB doesn't match ANY of those  but some are brill.


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## melxvengeance (10 May 2011)

Charliepony said:



			Ooh I'm enjoying this  Sorry if they're mean, I don't mean it, honest! 

*Adults with ponies *- Under the impression that their docile plod of a pony is a wild beast, and will get in a rage if you call their pony a pony, telling you at length that because of it's breeding (caspian, arab, fjord, icelandic, american miniture), it is in fact a HORSE.


*European pony owner* - (Fjord, Haflinger) Usually suprisingly good at dressage, their pony does tricks too.
		
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I have 2 fjords, one of which is pretty wild!! And technically because of their breed they ARE horses, not ponies, so that's not a stereotype - it's fact. i'd love it if my 2 were amazing at dressage. however i'm only 20 - can i be considered an "adult with a pony"??


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## moodymare123 (10 May 2011)

those novices at the yard that think that there horses breed is palamino....


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## Kenzo (10 May 2011)

Ha, these are brilliant!!! 

Can someone do a WB/ID? 

Is there an ID one? as I didn't notice one, do us WB/ID owners just merge the two or do we have our own stereotype?


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## Sleighfarer (10 May 2011)

Petite lady owner with large horse

Molly hadn't ridden anything over 13.3hh until she was rising 48. At just a smidgeon over 5 foot she had always been perfectly at home on Smokey, but after the DC tried to herd her into the bending race at yet another village show, Molly decided enough was enough and acquired a real horse befitting a mddle-aged rider. 

At 17.2hh Hugo is a trifle larger than Molly had intended, but the dealer said he'd come over from Ireland and was regularly hunted by a 7 year old. Molly is utterly in love with Hugo and pretends not to hear when a visiting instructor tells one of the other liveries that Molly looks like a wart on a pig's arse. 

Molly arrives at the yard at 4.30am as it takes her 35 mins just to get Hugo's head collar on - 5 mins to get it over his head, 30 mins to find enough feed buckets to pile up and stand on. By the time the rugs, saddle and bridle are sorted another hour has passed. Hugo munches contentedly on his hay, knowing full well that by the time she's found somebody to leg her up (where *does* the mounting block disappear to?) there will just be time for an amble to the end of the lane and back before Molly has to reverse the process and set off for work. 

Molly tells everybody that she rides long because she is a fan of Ulla, but the truth is her feet dangle worryingly near the saddle flaps and Hugo can never be quite sure whether Molly is actually there or not. She has taken to carrying an extra long schooling whip, just to be clear, but is alarmed if Hugo actually starts trotting - it's like being in a rowing boat and she does so suffer from sea sickness. 

After turning out Hugo (who obligingly lowers his head for this bit), Molly exchanges pleasantries with the yard owner and wonders if perhaps she'd consider allocating her another bridle peg as stretching to reach the present one often results in a poke in the eye from Hugo's enormous egg butt.


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## Kenzo (10 May 2011)

'Molly looks like a wart on a pig's arse''

LOL


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## TuscanBunnyGirl (10 May 2011)

Anything on Morgans or Coloured Sports Horses? 
Some of these are great!! haha
xx


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## monkeybum13 (10 May 2011)

Apercrumbie said:



			The Welsh Sec D

The Welshie and his pet owner are constantly covered in either mud or hay and have that rather "windswept and interesting" look about them.  The Welshie makes up for the dirt with his gorgeous gleaming coat..............his owner invariably doesn't.  Hacking is the order of the day, however we must remind people that Welshies aren't lazy cobs so the scary thing of the day today is......chickens and cars....and that person walking 100m up the road!  

The tbxwelsh

The true fanatics.  If anyone dares criticise her darling horse she will murder you with a single look.  While her horse is leaping round and going sideways round the school she will laugh and growl simultaneously while her welshxtb does an even bigger leap and suddenly stops dead and refuses to move.  Jumping proves to be far more interesting as the welshxtb out-stops even the smallest and quickest pony.  The horse has already perfected running out on the take-stride and conveniently dumping his rider on the jump.  He will then refuse to jump any jump for at least ten minutes while he throws a hissy fit.  Miraculously his long-suffering rider stays on and somehow gets him over a tiny pole on the ground.  On-lookers shake their heads and wonder why on earth she still has him but she will already be showering him in hugs and kisses and telling him what a gorgeous angel he is.  

(I own both of these btw so I am using myself and others that I have met as my basis)
		
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Haha, I no someone who is exactly welsh owner and then someone who is exactly welshxtb - the horse is bolshy but in her eyes the best equine ever to grace the earth.

Us sad, lonely standardbred owners always get left out!


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## Stacey6897 (10 May 2011)

MosMum said:



			I can't do Tb or arabs because I own one of the first and half of the second (arab x cob) so will let someone else pick me apart there!

Section A's I'd like to hear about, too hehehe.

ISH's belong to tall women who see no hobby in horsemanship- there's no fun and games its all serious work and eventing/SJ. They know every dam and sire who bred a winning foal since 1845, the bloodlines of every horse they own or would consider owning and can judge the potential jumping height of a full-grown horse from the time its 4 hours old... but have no concept of how to horse around and tutt loudly when they hear of a horse being kept on adlib hay, out 24/7 without a rug. 
They either line shelves with whitener and lay rugs out for their horse to walk on to avoid the mud, or just avoid horses with white on them altogether (hence the huge amount of chestnut and bay SJ'ers!) and can be seen using their own nail files on their horses' hoof if the farrier isn't available exactly 4 weeks from the date of shoeing. 
Their horse has probably never seen an open field without jumps erected and does not know how to walk a straight line without constant contact, encouragement and aids from their riding. When a human approaches their stall, they autimatically stand in a perfect outline, with their rear end engaged beneath them and their ears pricked prettily for a photo...

Have I taken this too far?
		
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Aaaah, I bought my IDx beastie with aspirations to be this person, creature has other ideas...


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## Dizzle (10 May 2011)

horsey mad matt said:



			right they may not be very good but here goes:

thoroughbred, has been turned out for 10 mins and is being brought back in, all rugged up from head to toe in a heat wave. his morning feed consists of a bucket full of mix and oats. ridden in a dutch gag and draw reins with a rear and buck to be added, with his sides heaving after bolting and jumping the gate. the owner is tall and slim and has velcrow (to stay on) on her cream breeches and smartly polished boots. box walks and crib bites and even a little wind sucking we all love a nice thoroughbred 

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I started reading that thinking it was rubbish and then got to the rider section, god that is me... and he crib bites!


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