# Am I the only person that didn't know...



## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

that Edward Gal is gay?


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## BigRed (9 December 2010)

How could you have not even guessed ?  He is so camp.


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

That's why I'm so shocked, normally my gaydar is pretty good!


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

I didn't know that. 
My trainer (who is straight, fwiw) has a theory that gay guys make better dr riders than straight ones, that they tend to be kinder, don't have a macho temper, don't want to dominate the horse to look manly etc. Interesting thought...


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## georgiegirl (9 December 2010)

dressage does seem to have a higher proportion of gay riders.....I wonder how the stats compare with sj and eventing?

Must say I remember years ago being shocked when someone told me Carl Hester was gay - Now I look back on that and think 'how the hell did I not realise that!?!?'

My gaydar must be pretty bad however, everyone thought my best friend in school was gay and I didnt think so. a few years later when he came out I had to admit I was completely wrong!!!


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

SJ - I can't think of any gay riders.
Eventing - quite a few.
Dr - Lots.
 
I have no gaydar at all. Unless a guy is portraying all the stereotypes and then some, I tend to think "oh, he's a gorgeous metrosexual, mmmm".


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

I have a thing about gay men, normally if I have a crush on someone then they turn out to be gay!


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## camilla4 (9 December 2010)

georgiegirl said:



			dressage does seem to have a higher proportion of gay riders.....I wonder how the stats compare with sj and eventing?
		
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I suppose that does make sense.  If you think about the fact that dressage is a highly "aesthetic" discipline, it puts it right up there with ballet, which also has a high proportion of gay male participants.


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

Which male event riders are gay?


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## TallyHo123 (9 December 2010)

kerilli said:



			I didn't know that. 
My trainer (who is straight, fwiw) has a theory that gay guys make better dr riders than straight ones, that they tend to be kinder, don't have a macho temper, don't want to dominate the horse to look manly etc. Interesting thought...
		
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That was my thinking too! I only personally know about a douzen straight male riders and they all bar one have a strange theory they must over power the horse in anyways. Guys ehhh


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

Seahorse said:



			I have a thing about gay men, normally if I have a crush on someone then they turn out to be gay!
		
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Yep, we're fag hags, it's official.


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## TarrSteps (9 December 2010)

There you go, a whole article: http://www.eurodressage.com/equestr...gal-and-hans-peter-minderhoud-one-track-minds

I can think of quite a few showjumpers but I don't know the British ones well enough.  

I've heard the same theory about gay male riders - essentially that they bring all the physical advantages that men have without some of the, um, more aggressive aspects.  Hard to say and probably individual.  I think what they might do relative to straight boys, is stick with it through adolescence, especially in North America where most boys stop in their teens, perhaps because they are already "different", perhaps because they find the horse world relatively welcoming.  Obviously numbers dictate there are going to be gay riders, what is interesting is the percentage who rise to the top.


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## Quadro (9 December 2010)

In Scotland there are quite a few gay SJers and i think you would have heard of most of them 
Interesting that there are alot of gay men that ride but i can't think of any gay women? Pointless trivia!!
Q


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## TarrSteps (9 December 2010)

There are a couple of high profile women but it doesn't seem to be a discussed subject.  The only two I can think of that are out are Americans.


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## dominobrown (9 December 2010)

Don't kid yourselfs there are loads of gay showjumpers! (p.s Quadro when I was at the Dumfrieshire show this year there was a SJ I rather liked, I wonder if he is gay?  )

More importantly, forget Edward Gal, but is Toto's new rider gay?
or the german rider who won WEG indivdual gold Eventing for Germany, forgot his name...
 Thanks peeps


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## Quadro (9 December 2010)

Pm me his name and ill do my best to let you know 
I **think** that Toto's new rider has a girlfriend and may even be engaged, don't hold me to that though!!
Q


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

Julian Mincher is gay and very camp and showjumps, well at least he used to!


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

kerilli said:



			Yep, we're fag hags, it's official.
		
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 I love being a fag hag!!


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## FrodoBeutlin (9 December 2010)

dominobrown, no, definitely not gay, he has a steady girlfriend who is absolutely stunning and also rides (used to be based at my yard before they got together).



TarrSteps said:



			There are a couple of high profile women but it doesn't seem to be a discussed subject.  The only two I can think of that are out are Americans.
		
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I think Heike Kemmer is an out lesbian.


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## Santa_Claus (9 December 2010)

yep i knew. 

As for eventers well there are those that are gay and admit it and those that are but don't and lastly those that swing both ways but publicly say they're straight! 

I have heard some interesting gossip over the years about who is/isn't but not suitable for a public forum 

At end of day doesn't matter what way they swing that is their business!


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

Santa_Claus said:



			I have heard some interesting gossip over the years about who is/isn't but not suitable for a public forum 

At end of day doesn't matter what way they swing that is their business!
		
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Agree with this. That's why I'm not naming any names. None of our business anyway.


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

You're right it is none of our business, just wanted to see how accurate my gaydar is!!


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

About as accurate as mine. I was even in denial about Boy George. Jeeeeez.


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## *hic* (9 December 2010)

kerilli said:



			About as accurate as mine. I was even in denial about Boy George. Jeeeeez.  

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*spits coffee all over screen*

Umm, K, has anyone told you about George Michael yet?


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## kerilli (9 December 2010)

I refused to believe it for quite some time. I mean, he's so gorgeous, how can he possibly be gay?
(can you see the slight flaw in my logic there...?)


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## Jenni_ (9 December 2010)

i think i know of one Scottish SJ'r thats gay - i was devestated when i was told. hes proper eye candy 

anyone care to back this up?

Id love to be wrong


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## photo_jo (9 December 2010)

Seahorse said:



			Which male event riders are gay?
		
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mmmmh-where to start


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## Chestnuttymare (9 December 2010)

Jenni_ said:



			i think i know of one Scottish SJ'r thats gay - i was devestated when i was told. hes proper eye candy 

anyone care to back this up?

Id love to be wrong 

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Is it DD?


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## dominobrown (9 December 2010)

Unfortunatley the scottish show jumper i think is rather nice is married 
Not sure though, though he does have dyed hair which flashes up on my gaydar.


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## Seahorse (9 December 2010)

After watching Scott Mills the other day on I'm a celeb, I thought he looked gay, so I googled it and he came out in 2001!!


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## DarkHorseB (9 December 2010)

festnuttyfairy said:



			Is it DD?
		
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I was going to say the same


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## noodle_ (9 December 2010)

for a while i thought ben mayer was  gay haha 

knew about carl hesteraggess ago lol.


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## BBH (9 December 2010)

noodle_ said:



			for a while i thought ben mayer was  gay haha 

knew about carl hesteraggess ago lol.
		
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LOL no Ben Mayer just SHOULD be gay .


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## dominobrown (9 December 2010)

BBH said:



			LOL no Ben Mayer just SHOULD be gay .
		
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Very suprised when I saw his wife, she's very pretty!
 ("no you didn't", err yes I did!!)


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## jessamess (9 December 2010)

I have to say I didn't know about Edward... although that interview did make me cringe a little about the hotel room... 

Although I'm not against it don't get me wrong just a little to much information when you admire that person, would rather not picture him sharing a bed with Hans haha 

I have to say I did think Ben Mayor was I didn't even know he was married (i'm not remotely interested in sj) 

xxx


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## MillionDollar (9 December 2010)

His partner is Hans Peter Minderhoud who rides Exquis Nadine............isn't he?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKqQApFZf9I


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## Seahorse (10 December 2010)

MillionDollar said:



			His partner is Hans Peter Minderhoud who rides Exquis Nadine............isn't he?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKqQApFZf9I

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Yes that's right


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

MillionDollar said:



			His partner is Hans Peter Minderhoud who rides Exquis Nadine...
		
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..and Carl Hester's former ride, Escapado! Such a small world it reminds me of The L Word


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## Hels_Bells (10 December 2010)

My gaydar is also rubbish!!! 

My OH thinks every guy who rides a horse is gay... only because he can't ride that's him rationalising it!!  

A friend whose sister is pretty well placed in eventing told me last year about a few eventers who I had absolutely no idea were gay - I had no idea they were gay but as they are not "out" and many others don't seem to be aware then I suppose it's not obvious.  But like others have said, completely their business, I still admire them as much as I always did!!


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## Seahorse (10 December 2010)

BBH said:



			LOL no Ben Mayer just SHOULD be gay .
		
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He probably is, just doesn't know it yet!


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## diggerbez (10 December 2010)

my OH absolutely refuses to believe tha Ben Maher is married to a woman- but he is also convinced that to ride a horse you are gay 

i know he's not horsey but i didn't know scott mills was gay- i just asked my OH and he was like "totally"- clearly my gaydar is crap too


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## Hedgewitch13 (10 December 2010)

There is a running joke between Scott Mills and Becky about him being 'successful with the ladies' - he's been out a long time


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## TarrSteps (10 December 2010)

Hels_Bells said:



			My gaydar is also rubbish!!! 

My OH thinks every guy who rides a horse is gay... only because he can't ride that's him rationalising it!!  

A friend whose sister is pretty well placed in eventing told me last year about a few eventers who I had absolutely no idea were gay - I had no idea they were gay but as they are not "out" and many others don't seem to be aware then I suppose it's not obvious.  But like others have said, completely their business, I still admire them as much as I always did!!
		
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There are - and have always been - quite a few eventers who are known for "liking a good time" and are just not super particular which form it takes.   I guess it depends how you define your terms. I don't get the impression things are quite as wild as they used to be, though, since the schedule is busier and it's so much more serious.  

Mind you, it's a revelation how many perfectly ordinary, non-famous people lead pretty wild lives! 

I don't think it is anybody's business but that's the modern world, isn't it?  And at least people tend to be curious more than anything now, not so much openly hostile.


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

It is and it isn't. There is still so much homophobia in the world that I think we really need positive models to be out. I so, so wish that all those gay footballers would come out. I think it's one of my biggest wishes! It would make SUCH a difference.


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## TarrSteps (10 December 2010)

Well, that IS a different conversation.  Can you out people for the greater good, even if it harms them?  Tricky.  Unless you're Perez Hilton. 

The horse world is pretty darn tolerant, as worlds go.  Maybe I think that because it's one of the main ones I "grew up" in but outside of arts etc, and compared to other sports, it's pretty relaxed.  As a friend of mine says, "All manner of sins are forgiven if you can ride a horse."


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## kerilli (10 December 2010)

I don't think "outing people for the greater good" is acceptable. I admire those who are brave enough to come "out" though. As TS says, the horse world is tolerant. Thank heavens for that...
As for the wild times, yes, I've heard about those too. Some very naughty people around, back then...


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

Of course, of course -- I just wish more people came out, I do agree that outing people is not ethical.


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## mbequest (10 December 2010)

FB, why do you wish that more people came out?


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## TarrSteps (10 December 2010)

I guess part of it is what do you consider "out"?  There are lots of people, including quite famous ones, who will tell you if you ask but don't bring it up out of context.  I remember an interview with Nathan Lane when the reporter asked him and he looked at her like she was mad.  

There are lots of riders who are not public about their relationships for whatever reason.  Tbh, I'm always a bit surprised when people make a big deal about their girl/boyfriend or even husband/wife, especially if said person is particularly stunning or particularly rich.  Lots of people have unusual families - look how many people on here recently expressed amazement when Laura Bechtolsheimer turned out to be rich!


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## kerilli (10 December 2010)

Did they? really? they don't know the "seeing a vid of Alf and saying 'that's my horse'" story, then...


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

mbquest, purely because there is so much homophobia in the world and I think it would be immensely helpful if sportsmen and sportswomen, who ARE role models and happen to be gay spoke about their sexual orientation frankly, just like Edward and Happy do. Obviously *we* are old enough not to care, either way. But it could be life-altering for kids who think they might be gay and are scared, because they don't know if it's ok or not / because they don't feel "normal" etc. to be able to see a happy, fulfilled "role model" living his/her life out of the closet.


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

kerilli said:



			Did they? really? they don't know the "seeing a vid of Alf and saying 'that's my horse'" story, then...
		
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Loads of people on this forum were totally shocked. I think a lot of people really thought that Andretti was some kind of failed ex-racer bought for peanuts


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## Gingerwitch (10 December 2010)

SeaHorse - i used to fancy the man - he would find out - then he would defect ! lol

gw


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## Gingerwitch (10 December 2010)

Frodo you bit saying "and Carl Hester's former ride "

really made me laugh - especially in the context of this discussion!


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

Nooo, it was a totally innocent comment! I love Escapado and always mention him whenever possible


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## Seahorse (10 December 2010)

These days it's much more acceptable to be gay anyway. Shame when people think they have to keep it a secret.


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## FrodoBeutlin (10 December 2010)

Exactly, it kind of perpetuates the idea that there IS something that needs hiding.


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## TheoryX1 (10 December 2010)

Ah, who really cares.  Our YO and her business partner are pretty well up in the eventing world and I have been told stuff I would never print on an open forum, but there are some very, very well known names who lets just say swing both ways and dont care where they find lurve.  Also my 15 year old daughter spent the summer avoiding the letchy glances of a well known 'name' - we just thought it was highly hilarious, and no I wont reveal the name, not even if you pm me.  I still chuckle when I think about it though.

I was devastated when I found out Carl and Spenny were gay.  What a waste of man!


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## SpruceRI (10 December 2010)

Originally Posted by BBH  
LOL no Ben Mayer just SHOULD be gay .



Seahorse said:



			He probably is, just doesn't know it yet!
		
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Just spat Toblerone Tobelles all over my screen!! ha haa haaaaa!!!!!


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## Gucci_b (10 December 2010)

kerilli said:



			SJ - I can't think of any gay riders.
Eventing - quite a few.
Dr - Lots.
 
I have no gaydar at all. Unless a guy is portraying all the stereotypes and then some, I tend to think "oh, he's a gorgeous metrosexual, mmmm".  

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There are loads of s.j who are gay, and so good looking too   dam shame


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## diggerbez (11 December 2010)

FrodoBeutlin said:



			Loads of people on this forum were totally shocked. I think a lot of people really thought that Andretti was some kind of failed ex-racer bought for peanuts 

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why what did she say? clearly i know nothing!


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## FrodoBeutlin (11 December 2010)

No, she never said anything at all -- it was forum users. When we were all complaining about the sad state of dressage (in the Totilas "if you can't beat your competitor buy his horse" saga) loads of people were commenting that Britain is so lucky to have a rider like Laura... I do love Laura and she comes across as very passionate and truly in love with her horses, but as far as personal wealth (and how this wealth has influenced and is influencing her career) is concerned she definitely falls in the Matthias Rath, Vici Max-Theurer et al. category. Which, I stress, doesn't take anything away from their ability as riders, but for people to think that in their case money hasn't played a huge role in their success is extremely naive.

As for Andretti, I think it was a thread on HorseHero -- when Laura mentioned in a video that Andretti is 7/8th TB there were loads of enthusiastic comments along the lines of "OMG, what an amazing discovery, how did you find a horse like that" -- really, some people seemed to believe Andy was some kind of failed ex racer miracolously discovered by the Bechtolsheimers and re-trained to excel in dressage, not the former German National Champion / European Championship Finalist / most famous horse on the market which is what he was at the time of the (much-rumoured, multi-million) sale


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## Apercrumbie (11 December 2010)

I didn't know he was gay - or Carl Hester!   Oh, what a waste for me


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## Bryndu (11 December 2010)

Seahorse said:



			that Edward Gal is gay?
		
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Yep!
Bryndu


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## diggerbez (12 December 2010)

FrodoBeutlin said:



			No, she never said anything at all -- it was forum users. When we were all complaining about the sad state of dressage (in the Totilas "if you can't beat your competitor buy his horse" saga) loads of people were commenting that Britain is so lucky to have a rider like Laura... I do love Laura and she comes across as very passionate and truly in love with her horses, but as far as personal wealth (and how this wealth has influenced and is influencing her career) is concerned she definitely falls in the Matthias Rath, Vici Max-Theurer et al. category. Which, I stress, doesn't take anything away from their ability as riders, but for people to think that in their case money hasn't played a huge role in their success is extremely naive.

As for Andretti, I think it was a thread on HorseHero -- when Laura mentioned in a video that Andretti is 7/8th TB there were loads of enthusiastic comments along the lines of "OMG, what an amazing discovery, how did you find a horse like that" -- really, some people seemed to believe Andy was some kind of failed ex racer miracolously discovered by the Bechtolsheimers and re-trained to excel in dressage, not the former German National Champion / European Championship Finalist / most famous horse on the market which is what he was at the time of the (much-rumoured, multi-million) sale 

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thanks for that FB! i can't believe that anyone would think that they weren't rich...as far as i'm aware 90% of people riding horses at at top levels are rich- now i know that talent is still needed but money must help!


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## perfect11s (12 December 2010)

OH so if I where have a go at  a bit of dressage...     the ladys would  stop pestering me as they would assume .....


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## Seahorse (12 December 2010)

perfect11s said:



			OH so if I where have a go at  a bit of dressage...     the ladys would  stop pestering me as they would assume ..... 

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you would have to camp it up a bit!


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## TarrSteps (12 December 2010)

diggerbez said:



			thanks for that FB! i can't believe that anyone would think that they weren't rich...as far as i'm aware 90% of people riding horses at at top levels are rich- now i know that talent is still needed but money must help! 

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Over all, I'd say most top riders have "middle class" origins (depending a bit on your terms) and have been well supported by their families (even if more in time and effort than money) and possibly provided with a good horse or two growing up, but not in a position to buy their own GP/4* horse outright.  However, the sort of people FB mentioned are REALLY rich!   As said, it doesn't take anything away from them - horses don't care if you're rich - but it's naive to think it doesn't help.  

And all those less wealthy people are using other people's money, which is great if you don't have your own, but the risk is it can go away at any time.  I think that's one of the biggest miscalculations people have when they say they want to ride professionally - it's can be heartbreaking.  Yes, Edward is perhaps the most well known person to be reminded of that recently, but it happens to everyone.


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## silver zaanif (12 December 2010)

perfect11s said:



			OH so if I where have a go at  a bit of dressage...     the ladys would  stop pestering me as they would assume ..... 

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or being one of the few thats not you'd be inundated!!


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