# First Horse both me and horse feel a little overwhelmed!



## Reddwild (29 September 2017)

Ive but my first horse a month ago hes come home and been in a field by himself at the moment before he was just with one of the little pony he settled down really well although I think both me and him will benefit from having more people and horses around so looking to move to a livery yard but not too sure how hes going to react has never been in a busy place. 
Hes only 6 and the other day he bolted and then tried to lunge at me while on the ground I think were both feeling a bit overwhelmed please please no nasty comments Im just looking for tips to help me relax a bit more as keep going through my head all my God I bought a horse. We are having lessons but have decided to take it back to basics and having just some ground work lessons too. Just wondering if a lot of people feel like this to begin with. Also any tips for when I got to look at the yard (will be DIY) and if we move there. 
Much appreciated.


----------



## ester (29 September 2017)

I think your idea of being on a yard is an excellent one, it really isn't appropriate or fair to keep a young horse you don't know on its own.


----------



## 9tails (29 September 2017)

Get yourself onto a livery yard as quickly as possible, see if you can find somewhere that offers assisted DIY as then you should have some help.  Horses don't tend to do well on their own with no other equine company.


----------



## Reddwild (29 September 2017)

Yes, previous owner suggested he would be fine on his own and she had owned him since he was a baby and had never been with more than one horse. Any tips for moving him to the busier place. We think he is getting a bit territorial over his field with the place to himself. Thanks


----------



## Pearlsasinger (29 September 2017)

Reddwild said:



			Yes, previous owner suggested he would be fine on his own and she had owned him since he was a baby and had never been with more than one horse. Any tips for moving him to the busier place. We think he is getting a bit territorial over &#8216;his&#8217; field with the place to himself. Thanks
		
Click to expand...

Tbh the previous owner was just silly.  When horses have been kept with just one companion, they tend to become very dependent on that *really* don't like to be on their own.  Horses are herd animals and need the security of having other horses around them, especially when they are in a new place with new people.  When you find a new yard for him, ask the YO if he can be introduced slowly to his new herd, so that he gets to know the other horses over the fence before going into the field with them


----------



## Reddwild (29 September 2017)

Thanks you, yes I do believe this myself and do feel sad when I think about it and of course I did a lot of research before hand about them being alone and some horses can do well on their own and he had been for a while as he is a confident horse and will sleep flat out in the field (vulnerable position for them without others). The field over the hedge next door had a small herd in but sadly they have gone now and havnt come back so they were going to be there too. We also were going to be going out hacking and inhand walking with other horses so he's be able to be out with them but unfortunately this hasn't happened. Thanks for help.
I'd say I'm experienced with fearful horses but it just gave me a bit of a shock and lost my confidence while handling when he showed the aggression side. Please don't think I'm blaming him at all for showing signs of aggression as everything has changed for him and he has to protect himself in a way.


----------



## Squeak (29 September 2017)

Definitely try and find a livery yard, there should be some that are still quite quiet but make sure that you pick one with at least one experienced person on it such as a yard manager who would be able/ willing to help you.  Can the person you are having lessons with suggest anywhere?

Is it possible that as he's not being ridden and has no friends to keep him entertained that he's getting a bit bored?


----------



## claret09 (29 September 2017)

give yourselves time. I am sure that given time having him at home will work out great. be patient. I would suggest that you find a good instructor to help you both riding but more importantly at this stage dealing with your horse on the ground. if he is feeling unsure you need to be super confident and a sympathetic instructor will help you with this. don't give up having horses at home is everyone's dream you and he just need to adjust to it. be patient.


----------



## Theocat (30 September 2017)

Agree with the others - you need to be on a yard, so that you have help and support as you need it, and so he has company. As a young horse he needs lots of hacking out, and it's always easier and more fun getting started with that when you're not on your own.


----------



## ester (30 September 2017)

claret09 said:



			give yourselves time. I am sure that given time having him at home will work out great. be patient. I would suggest that you find a good instructor to help you both riding but more importantly at this stage dealing with your horse on the ground. if he is feeling unsure you need to be super confident and a sympathetic instructor will help you with this. don't give up having horses at home is everyone's dream you and he just need to adjust to it. be patient.
		
Click to expand...

Just no, why should this young insecure horse be forced to live a life alone? I cannot see in anyway how that will work out great for the horse. He should not be forced to adjust to it to fulfill someone's dream, sorry that is totally wrong if the OP is not able to provide him with any form of equine companionship in her set up. 

OP have  look round some yards, maybe one with services that can help you out too, there are lots of options out there, my own chap can be a bit of an elderly stresshead so when moving him from home to a yard I knew I needed somewhere relatively quiet. I saw a lovely 50 horse yard but decided that wasn't for us and ended up on a yard with 10 boxes and 5 owners which suited well for the 3 years we were there.

Once you know your horse better and are more confident you may want to look at having him at home again in the future if you have enough space to sustaina companion too but right now I think you would be better with a bit of company (having done both myself).


----------



## Reddwild (30 September 2017)

Thank you, yes I do also think he may be a little bored at the moment due to lack of activity but I&#8217;m wanting him to settle down with me before doing too much as as I&#8217;m getting to know him more I am realised he can get a little overwhelmed with things at times and just starts to panic a little. 

Ester and Claret09. 
I understand many people would dream (and me) or having a horse at home but yes without the company and not being able to fulfill his specific needs, or mine I am realising a small but friendly lovery yard will be best. We are going out tomorrow to look at one with indoor and outdoor school, unfortunately hacking is about 40min walk away . 

It is just trying to remember to keep at it with him and eventually we will understand eachother better. Also realising he is VERY intuitive to my emotions and feelings which were completely all over the place the other day.


----------



## ester (30 September 2017)

Just remember it just has to suit you for now. When you get more confident etc you can make another change if you want to.

I have a list as long as your arm for having them at home or at livery. I did 8 years at 'home' (parents not far away) and mum is still there now. She does get lonely and loves it if someone goes to ride with her and now she has both at home again has just employed a freelancer to help her out once or twice a week who can be on call if they want to go out for the day etc. 

I spent 3 year on DIY livery, it was amazing to have a school especially a lit one all winter, we came on quicker in those 3 years despite his advancing old age than we did in the 8 years prior because I could be consistent with it, not wait only for lessons or when the field was ok to use. Yes there were disadvantages regarding rules etc but overall it was lovely being on a yard with other like minded people who could help out if required. 

I am not totally against keeping horses on their own because we have recently done it but it depends very much on the horse and the situation. My Mum's mare was left on her own for the time we moved, this wasn't really the plan and we had several emergency companions waiting in the wings, but she was a very settled (been there 9/10 years by then), older, horse who was very people orientated who seemed just fine and then shortly after did a suspensory and was on long term box rest so was better on her own. It was never the intention though. I'd like to say she loves having my  boy back but she is a bit put out that she has to share mum again.


----------



## Reddwild (30 September 2017)

Ester. 
Thank you for this reply, very helpful! 
Yes I do think while we get to know eachother having more people around and better facilities will help. 
Now having trouble trying to decide what yard?! I have to to chose from. 

One day I may have possibility to move him back home but only if right for both of us and when he&#8217;s move experienced with life in general for himself haha. 

I also do struggle because my mum/people around at home are absolutely not horsey and my mum is slightly scared of them still so without me there isn&#8217;t anyone who can do anything for him.


----------



## ester (30 September 2017)

You will get a feel for yards I think, and much as it isnt great to move horses around too much, you aren't signing up for life if it doesn't work out either. 

My Dad has had the same two horses living in his back garden for the last 13 years, he still won't even go in the field if they are in it let along anything else!


----------

