# The things non-horsey people say



## black_horse (22 April 2012)

My bf said to me today "so i noticed when you were riding that sometimes you lift yoiur ass out of the saddle, why is that"




I have to admit, i did giggle for a while about this.

Has anyone non-horsey or otherwise said anything that tickled you?


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## Karran (22 April 2012)

I'm sure my bf does it on purpose to annoy me.

He text me excitedly once to tell me he'd seen a brown horse with black trimmings trotting down the road. 

Oh and there was the time he thoughtfully recorded some dressage "cos the horse was doing the special trottyness you like."

When questioned he proceeded to do his best attempt at a flying change in the living room. 
Bless him


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## HarlequinSeren (22 April 2012)

Took my friend with me to the yard tonight, and she asked "which one is that over there in the blue jacket?"


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## MileAMinute (22 April 2012)

I got told that I was cruel by my mother for considering putting a mask over my old Section A's head. It's comparable to blindfolding, why would you do it to such a sweet little pony?!

It was a full face fly mask.....  Thankfully I didn't buy one in the end as he had an incredibly tiny head and I couldn't be arsed faffing around with returns etc if it didn't fit. Funnily, a fly fringe was acceptable by my mother.


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## Vodkagirly (22 April 2012)

I've just started unaffiliated eventing and had some photos on facebook. An old work friend asked when I was next on at the races as she wanted to come and dress up...


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## Shutterbug (22 April 2012)

My mum was collecting me from the yard when my car was in the garage one time and she stopped half way down the hill to the yard in her car - I wondered what she was doing as I could see her - next thing my mobile phone rings and she goes "theres a dead horse in this field you have to come up here" - I had to gently advise her that horses do sleep lying down and this particular horse was always sleeping.  Bless her


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## black_horse (22 April 2012)

PMSL @ the dead horse comment 

I knew someone that tried worming a horse via rectum as 'thats where the worms come out'


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## Rowreach (22 April 2012)

My mother once asked if I'd ridden a particular horse yet - at this point the horse in question was 9 months old   Worryingly, my grandfather was a mounted policeman and my mother grew up with ponies and had a horse when we were children


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## Buds_mum (22 April 2012)

Hevs said:



			My mum was collecting me from the yard when my car was in the garage one time and she stopped half way down the hill to the yard in her car - I wondered what she was doing as I could see her - next thing my mobile phone rings and she goes "theres a dead horse in this field you have to come up here" - I had to gently advise her that horses do sleep lying down and this particular horse was always sleeping.  Bless her 

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Don't my sister made me drive 10 miles to meet her at a field because there were two dead horses in it, they were quite happily snoozing  she didn't realise horses lay down to sleep. 

My boyfriend comes out with all sorts lol, when I first got Buddy he compared him to a caravan as ''he's longer than the other ones'' he's been caravan ever since lol.


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## Shantara (22 April 2012)

Not a none horsey person, but a small child. One of the horses has his 'thing' out and the child piped up and said "What's that plastic thing on your horse?!"

Someone at work (after learning I'd fallen off Ned) said "How on earth can you fall off a horse?!" ummm, pretty easily!


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## LittleMouse (22 April 2012)

not so much a say as a do........ walk up to a horse and pat it on its face saying "oh look he likes it"!!!! no....no he doesnt :/ hahahahah
oh and my dad always feels the need to point to the really big cross country jumps and say oh you could do that one....if only it was that easy


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## Blitzen (22 April 2012)

I like to call non-horsey folk 'muggles'. Lol

For example, my muggle boyfriend asked me which "juppers" (he meant jodhpurs, bless him) I'd like for my birthday. I'm blaming the mispronunciation on his cockney accent!
And he calls my mares martingale a "nightingale". 
And when I was grinning after bumping into Ollie Townend at Belton last year, he said "what, the one who designs juppers?". Yes, sweetums, the one who designs "juppers", cos that's all he does. *rolls eyes*


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## nat_1 (23 April 2012)

I told someone at work last week I was going to badminton.
She said 'oh are you riding yours there' ( yeah I'm gona take my 2yr old to badders) lmao!


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## Guylian (23 April 2012)

My mum confuses horses with children, she calls rugs, coats. Often says "did you put a coat on daisy? It's going to be cold" I find it both funny and cute :3


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## charleysummer (23 April 2012)

The most obvious one hasn't been said 

Or maybe its just that I get asked it too much..

for example, there is  a 12hh pony at the fields and as it is a public footpath through the fields, i often talk to the walkers when I See them

walker : so is he a horse or a pony?
me: He's a pony because hes smaller than a horse
walker: awwww, bless him- how old is he then?
me: 24 i think,
walker:  what on earth? Then how can he be a PONY?! surely he is a horse at 24?!?!
me: *mental facepalm* No no, a foal is a baby horse or pony- a pony is a smaller horse, it is based on height
walker: Oh.. i wondered why he hadn't grown up.

I dont know why but i seem to find this far too often.. :S


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## Lexie81 (23 April 2012)

Charleysummer I have had this with my 11.2h 24 year old pony too lol! 
My non-horsey friend was round once and was flicking through H&H looking at  the classified ads. She was very confused at some of the description and ads and was laughing her head off. They are actually quite funny and bizarre if you read them as a non horsey person!


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## Snowysadude (23 April 2012)

Friends brother came up the yard yesterday to go for a run with her and on arrival saw some of the horses not wanting to be caught. Snowy is the most extravagant as far as displays in the field go and he asked his sister why, "the white horse is running around like that when the others just jog away"....  he was bonking, leaping, spinning and generally enjoying himself bless, he thinks he's 3 still. We get many a novice on our yard coming up with owners who ask allsorts of questions


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## Goldenstar (23 April 2012)

best ever was when my brother has a vegan anti pet keeping girl friend it was shall I say a difficult weekend .
She did not approve of our food 
She did not  approve of our pictures( hunting prints horses jumping etc)
She did not approve of our shoes ( leather)
It was a stressful weekend for her even the labradors looked at her with a sort of bemused confusion as they lolled on the sofa her opening gambit on coming in the house was to say she did not approve of dogs being kept in houses it wS unnatural for them.
But the best ever moment was when by brother brought her across to the stables I was doing the yard in the evening chatting to the horses fussing them she looked at me with amazement and said " they really like you" errr yes.


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## Rowreach (23 April 2012)

"How long have you been ridiing?"

"Er, about 45 years."

"Why do you still have lessons then?? "


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## Missmac (23 April 2012)

My dad helps me out with my horses and he comes out with some corkers sometimes.

he calls flying changes skipping, rugs are jumpers, hooves are toenails, forelock is a fringe etc!


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## pixiebee (23 April 2012)

I was at the yard the other day and this little girl asked if my horse was a stallion...I answered, 'well he used to be til a few years ago'....she replied. 'how can he not be a stallion anymore? ......needless to say I just smiled, was not quite sure how to word that one!!!!!


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## Fidgety (23 April 2012)

Rowreach said:



			"How long have you been ridiing?"

"Er, about 45 years."

"Why do you still have lessons then?? "
		
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Yep, after 40 years I get 'You'd have thought you'd know how to ride by now then!'  <gah> LOL


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## Rebecca1988 (23 April 2012)

My bf once asked 'is that where baby horses come from' when my sisters mare lifted her tail up & he saw her lady garden


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## Keen (23 April 2012)

Snowysadude said:



			he was *bonking*, leaping, spinning and generally enjoying himself bless
		
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Lol!  No doubt he was enjoying himself


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## Rosie1208 (23 April 2012)

My hubs says 'Joppers' and my Mum pats bums and says 'nice rump'!!! Bless!


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## Snowysadude (23 April 2012)

Keen said:



			Lol!  No doubt he was enjoying himself 

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Hahaha auto-correct on the iPad :O . Only in his dreams nowadays....


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## KarlyHT (23 April 2012)

Loving this thread!


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## Mongoose11 (23 April 2012)

The one that bothers me the most is 'why are you having lessons? I thought you could already ride.'

And a close second would be 'my wife's sister's daughter's friend went on a horse once, I told her you had a horse and she wondered if she could come up and ride it.'

Erm yes, yes of course she can. Tell her to bring her friends with her - they can all ride her. EVERYONE CAN RIDE MY HORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!


 X


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## seoirse (23 April 2012)

While watching some racehorses in the parade ring on TV the other day my non-horsey husband told me his 'secret' way to telling which horse was going to win the race. Apparently if you watch them all walking round some of them overlap the footprint they made with their front hoof, with the back hoof. Not all horses can do this apparently, but the ones that can are more likely to win the race!!

Bless.


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## seoirse (23 April 2012)

When my sister was little her elderly 1st pony sadly developed cushings, back in those days there wasn't really much treatment and aside from the poodle like coat and lots of weeing the pony was actualy otherwise fine and went on for years. The times we got stopped out on rides because people wanted to know if he was a special breed as they'd never seen a curly pony before. My sister, then about 5 or 6 and not really fully understanding it used to bluntly reply that 'no, he has a brain tumour actually'. Cringe! Poor people used to be horrified! The curly pony happily lived to be 31.


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## noodle_ (23 April 2012)

My mother thinks im cruel for not always rugging my horse......

flymasks...... "they cannot see"... (yes they can...  )

took years of training for a coat to be now known as a RUG.....



my work colleagues are baffled to learn i go down to the yard twice daily.... i do tell them now and again i send her a text to get her own dinner

they have wised up since and stopped asking daft questions 

(they do care and do ask so i dont mind )


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## 3bh (23 April 2012)

I've just been out to the first big stay away show of the season, and my recently new OH hasn't quite grasped it yet, I rang him in the morning and  he was nattering about going to the bookies to place some football bets... small silence ... "can I bet on your horse race" (flat showing class....) ... gently explained why not. Text him a a photo later on that I had bought from the official photogs, a classic one of my baby connie doing a lovely pointy toed trot, and he text back that it didn't look like I was going very fast....

I do also work full time with horses, if anyone asks him what I do he tells them I brush ponies and put coats on them - like that is my entire job description... he's been to the yard half a dozen times on weekend afternoons where indeed I am catching in, grooming off and putting on stable rugs etc - there is a "little" more to it than that though!!!


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## lexibell (23 April 2012)

My Non-horsey OH trys very hard but sometimes I really do wonder...for example, convo this weekend...

me: I just feel like Im not making any progress with Ben Pony
him: well why not just ride Alfa instead?
me: Alfas only 2
him: he wont mind though?
me: err he might, hes not old enough to be sat on and hes not even had a bit in his mouth yet!!
him: well we can go get him one from the shop
me: right so we'll buy him a bit, break him in and then take him jumping this afternoon shall we????
him: yeah?!
me: just no
him: give me a saddle and i'll do it for you

This was a conversation from Sunday, he sat on a horse for the second time in his life the day before. Bless him  haha


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## Rudolph's Red Nose (23 April 2012)

My mum calls numnahs - "num nums"

and I have been asked do I have to go up to my horse in the winter and at Christmas - what I really want to say is nope I fold them up in a box and put them in the loft till summer and then get them back out again... (would put airholes in the box obviously!!)


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## LaurenBay (23 April 2012)

Very recent, my YO has just put her filly up for sale, so she can concentrate on her other youngster. When I told my mu
 She said "oh she can't sell one, they are from the same litter" I then had to explain to her that Horses don't have litters. I also got stopped on a hack and asked why my Horse was that color. I told them her mum was a Horse and her dad was a cow. The shocking thing was they actually believed me.


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## Ibblebibble (23 April 2012)

lexibell said:



			My Non-horsey OH trys very hard but sometimes I really do wonder...for example, convo this weekend...

me: I just feel like Im not making any progress with Ben Pony
him: well why not just ride Alfa instead?
me: Alfas only 2
him: he wont mind though?
me: err he might, hes not old enough to be sat on and hes not even had a bit in his mouth yet!!
him: well we can go get him one from the shop
me: right so we'll buy him a bit, break him in and then take him jumping this afternoon shall we????
him: yeah?!
me: just no
him: give me a saddle and i'll do it for you

This was a conversation from Sunday, he sat on a horse for the second time in his life the day before. Bless him  haha
		
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haha fantastic, wait a year and then let him

I've had the 'why are those horses blindfolded' (flymasks) a few times and years ago 'is the big white pony the mum of the little white pony'  to which the reply was no, cute and bearable coming from a child but not from an adult


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## mandwhy (23 April 2012)

Haha my bf thinks it is ridiculous that horses should be kept inside and have to wear 'clothes', in some ways he has a point but I had to explain that some horses such as Arabians might not be able to tolerate snow, wind and rain very well what with them being from the desert! Then I had to explain they are often clipped as well so they don't get too hot, he is baffled. Don't even get him started on shoes!!


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## JustKickOn (23 April 2012)

Said by the OH- "Why doesn't she like going in her horsey house?" He couldn't remember the word for stable 

Brushing the horse for her to go out and roll in the mud again. 
Dad- Well what was the point in all that brushing?
Me- Quiet you.

Went to see the ponies on Christmas day, Dad walking across the field too. J boy goes marching on over wondering who this new fellow in his field is (Daddy) and the look of sheer panic in my Dad's face as he said "Quickly, quickly, throw a carrot at it!"


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## Kat (23 April 2012)

My mum is pretty good at coming out with daft horse statements, bless... 

We've had "aren't you going to paint her toenails?" (Kevin Bacon on her hooves) 

"Why is she wearing shin pads" (Brushing boots)

and all the usual "has she got her anorak on today" type statements. 

The best though was when a friend had bought a new horse, my mum asked her about it and was shown a picture. My mum asked what colour the horse is, and the friend said she's a fleabitten grey. My mum's response was, "that's not very nice, she doesn't look fleabitten to me! How's she got fleas?"


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## LittleGinger (23 April 2012)

"There are wild horses in the field over there - sometimes they come right up to the gate!" 

(There are a lot of native ponies living wild in our area, so the comment wasn't that surprising. But I was fairly surprised to see two TB types and what looked like an Arab in the field...)

"What, those 3 there?"

"Yeh. They are wild, aren't they? They've not got collars on. [Pause] Or coats. A lot of the pet horses around here wear coats."


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## Mongoose11 (23 April 2012)

RiderLizzie said:



			Said by the OH- "Why doesn't she like going in her horsey house?" He couldn't remember the word for stable 

Brushing the horse for her to go out and roll in the mud again. 
Dad- Well what was the point in all that brushing?
Me- Quiet you.

Went to see the ponies on Christmas day, Dad walking across the field too. J boy goes marching on over wondering who this new fellow in his field is (Daddy) and the look of sheer panic in my Dad's face as he said "Quickly, quickly, throw a carrot at it!"  

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I love your Dad! Hilarious! x


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## Chavhorse (23 April 2012)

My OH totally non horsey always calls Vardi's anti rub vest "Vardi's Bra" usually gets a look of horror from the other liveries when he calls out "Does Vardi need a clean bra on"

He has also convinced himself that Vardi can communicate through stamping his feet (he can't at all and I can only think that OH watched too much Champion the Wonder Horse as a child) we have had the following exchanges;

OH: "Darling what's he trying to say"

Me: "What"

OH "he is really stamping his left foot he is trying to tell me something"

Me: "Probably that there are a lot of flies about love"

OH: "He really is smart isn't he"

And the all time classic when I asked him to check if Vardi had finished his food and was ready to come in;

OH: "Do you want to come in mate?"  "Darling is it one stamp for yes and two for no or the otherway round, he has just stamped once?"

I keep smiling!


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## Stateside (23 April 2012)

I had a chap do some work around the place and his grand farther was a rag & bone man in London who still had a horse & cart. He told me that every two year he would sell his horse and go out and buy a brand new horse.


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## Fidgety (23 April 2012)

Not so much what non-horsey folks say, but...

A fellow yardie once told the story of how she'd asked her OH to fill a haynet for her whilst she was mucking out and eventually had to go and seek him out because he'd been so long - apparently he hadn't realised that the haynet opens at the top and he didn't actually need to poke the hay in, bit by bit, through the holes... True!


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## charleysummer (23 April 2012)

Fidgety said:



			Not so much what non-horsey folks say, but...

A fellow yardie once told the story of how she'd asked her OH to fill a haynet for her whilst she was mucking out and eventually had to go and seek him out because he'd been so long - apparently he hadn't realised that the haynet opens at the top and he didn't actually need to poke the hay in, bit by bit, through the holes... True! 

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LOL! kill two birds with one stone there- keeping the OH busy for hours, resulting in making something for keeping the horse busy for hours


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## LittleMouse (23 April 2012)

Billie1007 said:



			And a close second would be 'my wife's sister's daughter's friend went on a horse once, I told her you had a horse and she wondered if she could come up and ride it.'


 X
		
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YES!! that really annoys me too hahah!! just because they have ridden or even seen a horse in their life therefore means they HAVE to come and ride mine!!!! when it comes to ponio....i dont like to share  poor mouse has had a few days a pony ride pony....he wasnt impressed and neither was i!!!


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## LittleMouse (23 April 2012)

lexibell said:



			My Non-horsey OH trys very hard but sometimes I really do wonder...for example, convo this weekend...

me: I just feel like Im not making any progress with Ben Pony
him: well why not just ride Alfa instead?
me: Alfas only 2
him: he wont mind though?
me: err he might, hes not old enough to be sat on and hes not even had a bit in his mouth yet!!
him: well we can go get him one from the shop
me: right so we'll buy him a bit, break him in and then take him jumping this afternoon shall we????
him: yeah?!
me: just no
him: give me a saddle and i'll do it for you

This was a conversation from Sunday, he sat on a horse for the second time in his life the day before. Bless him  haha
		
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HAHAHAHAHAH!!! thats brilliant, bless x


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## black_horse (23 April 2012)

Absolutely sniggering here  these are epic


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## Fun Foals (23 April 2012)

While at work the delivery man came just as we were covering a mare with a foal at foot. He was interested in racing and what we were doing so started talking about the horses. Then went on to ask how can they have a baby when they all ready have one there? 
With that we tryed to palm him off on the boss. bless him.


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## ClobellsandBaubles (23 April 2012)

Persuaded some none horsey friends out on a hack the other day whilst on holiday and was told by my friend that I anthropomorphize far to much when trying to explain how horses benefited from their domestic relationship with humans using a herd as an analogy (thought I was being quite good really) only to hear her asking her pony kindly to step to the left or that if he took two bites out of the bush now he had to walk twice as far before he could stop again  

she also named him Geoffrey Arnold the third


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## LittleMouse (23 April 2012)

RiderLizzie said:



			Went to see the ponies on Christmas day, Dad walking across the field too. J boy goes marching on over wondering who this new fellow in his field is (Daddy) and the look of sheer panic in my Dad's face as he said "Quickly, quickly, throw a carrot at it!"  

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AHAHAH thats brilliant!!! if all else fails...pelt it with carrots


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## pixiebee (23 April 2012)

Fun Foals said:



			While at work the delivery man came just as we were covering a mare with a foal at foot. He was interested in racing and what we were doing so started talking about the horses. Then went on to ask how can they have a baby when they all ready have one there? 
With that we tryed to palm him off on the boss. bless him.

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sorry i dont like it when people dop that, poor mare gets no peace :-(


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## black_horse (23 April 2012)

*makes a mental note to throw carrots at delicia the next time she walks up to me*


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## Lizzie0682 (23 April 2012)

The first time my bf came to meet my horse, he asked if I he could bring her a treat, said 'yes she really like mints'. Short time later he called saying he was at the shops and 'would she prefer beef or lamb' he completely thought they ate mince meat!!! 6 years later and I have NEVER let him live it down. 

Also, when my gelding gets his bits out he makes comments such as 'that's my boy', which is quite frankly, a bit weird.


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## vickyb (23 April 2012)

I was working with carriage horses, driving tourists. A  (non-horsey) bar maid I knew said she was interested in doing the job as well. She was horrified when she discovered you had to actually look after them, not just drive them. It turned out she thought they spent the entire summer between the shafts - 24 hrs a day. I had this vision of them standing in their stalls with their carriages sticking out behind!


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## diluteherd (23 April 2012)

Lizzie0682 said:



			Also, when my gelding gets his bits out he makes comments such as 'that's my boy', which is quite frankly, a bit weird.
		
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Haha!! your bf sounds so funny!! I think thats man talk cos my ex-bf used to make fun of my tb for having a little one - would love to think what he would say about my new yearling seeing as its huge and black...  lol


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## BeachBreaker (23 April 2012)

My boyfriend used to refer to jodhpurs as JOGpurs....he is much better trained these days.

My mum, although trying her best, is also fairly clueless. The other day I posted a pick on fb of two of my friends out hacking. I was driving up behind them so just took a snap. I spoke to my mum on the phone that night who said 'oooo...I see you've been out for a nice hack'....'errrr no mum, one of those horses is chestnut, the other is a coloured'....'oh, well, I didn't look that closely!'. My horse, who I've now owned for two years is dark bay verging on black. *sigh*


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## tinap (23 April 2012)

My OH cannot get his head around the farriers visits & thinks they are a complete waste of money. 

I mean, "why bother taking the shoe off to trim its 'nail' & then put the shoe back on?!! Why not just get a knife round it while the shoe's still on?!! " 

& trying to explain to him why we clip in the winter not summer when its hot just makes me want to bash his head in!!!


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## MrsHutt (23 April 2012)

As some others have said, my mum used to think I should be able to do it by now, after all those lessons!


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## prettypony95 (23 April 2012)

my friend thinks that all white horses are stallions  no idea why! and she also wonders why 19yo Charlie is smaller than 5yo Boy (14hh and 16hh)!!!


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## Archangel (23 April 2012)

Karran said:



			to tell me he'd seen a brown horse with black trimmings 

he thoughtfully recorded some dressage "cos the horse was doing the special trottyness you like."
		
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Nah said:



			Someone at work (after learning I'd fallen off Ned) said "How on earth can you fall off a horse?!"
		
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 - "black trimmings"


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## Queenjude (23 April 2012)

Ha ha ha I love these!


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## claribella (23 April 2012)

What makes me laugh the most is when people find out I have a horse and promptly turn around and say 'I love horse riding, I was thinking about getting back into it again, I haven't done it for ages'. I always reply with oh really I can recommend some good riding schools in the area. There face always drops and there's that silence where the tumbleweed blows through. What do they expect though. Oh yeah you come and ride my unpredictable flighty Arab who isn't a complete plod and spooks at most things. I'll pay for her complete upkeep while you and all of your mates come and ride her like a beach donkey without giving me a penny. Theres no need to go to riding a school where you will be charged twenty five pound an hour for lessons, when you have mugs like me around. Also yeah of course I can give you a lesson shouting commands at you in the pouring rain whilst you pull her mouth apart and I get pneumonia. Oh and by the way if you fall off then yeah of course you can sue me that's no problem. Some people.......


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## FionaM12 (23 April 2012)

A friend of mine came to see Mollie during the winter in her new stable and asked where the heating was.


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## jumpthemoon (23 April 2012)

The two things I always get asked by people are 'does the horse need looking after EVERY day? Won't it be ok if you just leave it for a few days?' 
And 'you don't need lessons, surely? You can ride!'
Oh's dad regularly refers to any comps, either jumping or dressage, as gymkhanas as well, which drives me nuts!


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## Nicnac (23 April 2012)

"what make is your horse?"
"She's a Friesian"
"oh so, she's part cow - I thought they were always black and white but yours is just black"

OR my mother:

"how do you get your horse into the vets? It's only got a normal door...."

OH windsurfs, so stirrups are 'straps' and tacking up is 'rigging' whilst untacking is 'de-rigging'


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## FionaM12 (23 April 2012)

In a junk shop a few days ago I saw two very old, worn non-stainless-steel snaffles labelled:

"Horse mouth training bits £10".  

My dad _always_ called tack "tackle".


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## Nosey (23 April 2012)

My o/h thought counter canter was canter canter!


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## Guylian (24 April 2012)

Reading all the non-horsey OH ones lol, I don't get that since my OH is as mad for horses as I am


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## TheBayMonkey (24 April 2012)

Mum calls canter gallop, so everybody thinks I'm a stereotypical teenager who does nothing but gallop round the arena.. And I've had the "does he need looking after everyday? Can't someone else look after him on Christmas day?" Erm no he needs to be looked after everyday and I make it a point to spend as much time with him on christmas day so I don't have to be in the house with everybody  ba humbug!


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## Walrus (24 April 2012)

My favourite was hacking through the village a man commented on how quiet the pony was (he's one of only 2 without shoes that go out hacking from our yard). I said that it was because he didn't wear shoes and the man said yes he'd noticed his paws didn't have shoes on!

WE've also had lots of people point at his feet and comment on his ankles out hacking, pony is a fell with masses of feather and I then put high viz bands on his legs so he does look slightly ridiculous!


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## Luci07 (24 April 2012)

How old is your horse? (one is 24)" oh....how long do they live?,( thanks!)

Yes to whole "can't you ride yet? Why are you still having lessons?" and " I rode when I was 5 and would like to do it again" (both horses are quite big so that normally stops the conversation"

Or when I was on DIY, fretting about getting away on time so I could put my boy to bed. Turns out they thought I was a particularly whacky parent calling my " son" ....Spot!

Or best one.... " do you ride after work" me "yes, we have a school with lights" colleague " they let you ride your horse in the school? Surely that will wreck the floor"

Silenced on that one.


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## Fransurrey (24 April 2012)

charleysummer said:



			The most obvious one hasn't been said 

Or maybe its just that I get asked it too much..

for example, there is  a 12hh pony at the fields and as it is a public footpath through the fields, i often talk to the walkers when I See them

walker : so is he a horse or a pony?
me: He's a pony because hes smaller than a horse
walker: awwww, bless him- how old is he then?
me: 24 i think,
walker:  what on earth? Then how can he be a PONY?! surely he is a horse at 24?!?!
me: *mental facepalm* No no, a foal is a baby horse or pony- a pony is a smaller horse, it is based on height
walker: Oh.. i wondered why he hadn't grown up.

I dont know why but i seem to find this far too often.. :S
		
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Come across this a few times myself. I was once stopped on a hack by a guy who must have been nearly 40. Very similar conversation to yours, in which he asked whether 'it' was a horse or pony (answer: pony) and then asked how old (16 at the time). This was followed by 'When will he become a horse?'. Also mental facepalm (or head desk!) and I explained that as a 16yr old, he was quite grown and would always be a pony. He got it finally, when I asked if he had considered putting his kids into the London Marathon when they were 5? No? Really?

Another favourite was the numerous people who asked me if Henry's companion was his foal (both geldings, with one being a shetland and Henry being exmoor). D'oh!


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## Fransurrey (24 April 2012)

TheBayMonkey said:



			And I've had the "does he need looking after everyday? Can't someone else look after him on Christmas day?" Erm no he needs to be looked after everyday and I make it a point to spend as much time with him on christmas day so I don't have to be in the house with everybody  ba humbug!   

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Have had this many times. In reply I say that no, I don't visit on Christmas day. I call them up at the field and tell them to get their own dinner.


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## Four white socks (24 April 2012)

Doesn't matter how many times I tell my other half it's a rug, not a coat, he still insists on getting it wrong!


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## zobags (24 April 2012)

Four white socks said:



			Doesn't matter how many times I tell my other half it's a rug, not a coat, he still insists on getting it wrong!
		
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My sister calls them coats, she also wanted to buy a numnah "to keep her belly warm" and the best one "why on earth do horses need leg warmers" - they were brushing boots


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## DH1 (24 April 2012)

One of my favourites from a lovely livery (mature in years) on our old Yard;

B "Your horse is on heat again"

Me "Oh OK"

B  " I wish she wasn't, is there anything you can do? She keeps on having Organisms near my horse"

I never did have the heart to correct her.


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## Shantara (24 April 2012)

Luci07 said:



			Or when I was on DIY, fretting about getting away on time so I could put my boy to bed. Turns out they thought I was a particularly whacky parent calling my " son" ....Spot!
		
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Someone has thought Ned was my boyfriend!!
I do like to blabber on about how much I love him and how gorgeous I think he is


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## mirage (24 April 2012)

I had to explain that my daughter couldn't attend a Brownie function as we were going to the Point to Point.Brown Owl asked me if I was riding in it.......

My daughter was being bullied by a girl at school and after we bought Knobberpony,it mysteriously stopped and she was as nice as pie.I had my suspicioins about this,which were confirmed when I saw the mother of the bully at a party and she was all over me,asking how our new pony was,how her daughter had riding lessons and wouldn't it be wonderful if she could come over and ride Knobberpony? I replied that it wouldn't be 'wonderful' for the pony,that she wasn't a riding school pony and that having different people riding her would do her no good at all. She hasn't mentioned it since and gives me a wide berth now,which suits me fine.


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## StarlightMagic (28 April 2012)

Shocked noone has mentioned the look of confusion when you say your horse is green!!!


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## skipper (28 April 2012)

My boyfriend comes out with some crackers. He's had a sit on my horse before and they did a very gentle jog (it barely qualified as a trot!) He came back, very excitedly asking me if he'd galloped just then. 

He's also refers to rugs as coats and thinks I'm thoroughly cruel for turning the boys out in the rain. I think one of my favourites though was when he asked if he could come and watch when I "go to the next gymkhana" :lol: I said he was more than welcome to come and watch me compete but a 16hh horse and a 20 year old me would probably look slightly incongruous amongst all the little kids and their whizzy ponies competing in the mounted games and attempting handy pony. Not gonna lie though...horse and I would love it! Lol!

My other (now retired) horse is an ex-racehorse and if non-horsey people ever ask about him and I tell them this they'll invariably ask "Oh right, so did you ride him in races then? Would I have seen you two on the TV?" Umm...no...and no...sorry to disappoint.


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## emma.is (9 May 2012)

Hacking with a friend who has a feathered cob and two boys ask her what she's stuck on her ponies legs and then something about Ugg boots! Tickled us for the rest of the ride


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## Karran (9 May 2012)

All grey horses to my bf are shadowfax's. Now he's seen warhorse all brown/bays with white facial markings are 'warhorse' too. I despair.


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## Dubsie (9 May 2012)

We have a fine-boned 13.2 arab x show pony, aged 22. Most strangers say 'when he grows up will he be as big as the other one?'  - the other being a very hairy chunky 14.1h New Forest aged 8!


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## Abz88 (9 May 2012)

The most recent ones which made me giggle were actaully last weekend. I went out for a pub ride and there were a couple of kids there interested in my girly and asked LOTS of questions! 

The best one being 'So,...where are the blue lights so you can go out when it's dark for the bad people?' totally confused at first I soon realised the kid assumed she was a police horse (in her full Polite set) and so what do police cars have?! I have to say I laughed quite a bit before pulling myself together and saying she wasn't a police horse and that we dont ride in the dark and deffinatley didnt have blue flashing lights anywhere! (but the image it created was fantastic!) The same child once a bit braver was looking/playing with her reins and picked up the 'stoppers' (dont actaully know the real term!) and said 'just like a aeroplane' I said I had never heard them be called that, but it is their new name! Kid also didn't think horses had teeth and that the entire hoof was infact metal and told me she has all rusty feet (dry mud!)

More worryingly, the OH didn't know until quite recently that horses do not eat meat and has also recently found out that horses mault,......a lot(!!) and that geldings wont make my girly pregnant!!! There have been lots more similar comments from him, but those spring to mind!


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## Suelin (10 May 2012)

black_horse said:



			PMSL @ the dead horse comment 

I knew someone that tried worming a horse via rectum as 'thats where the worms come out' 

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Noooooo!!  Surely not!!!!!!  LMAO!!


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## Abz88 (10 May 2012)

LittleMouse said:



			AHAHAH thats brilliant!!! if all else fails...pelt it with carrots 

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HA HA HA - brilliant. My dad is also useless. I remember years and years ago I was riding a very ploddy cob (known at the yard for being fat, dumb and lazy - but very sweet natured) in a little local show (clear round jumping) and I asked my dad to hold him while I went to walk the course. He was NOT happy with this idea at all, but, took the reins. When I came back there was my dad,....no pony!! 

Me - 'DAD!!! Where did you put him?!?!'
Dad - 'He started running away,....so I put him over there...'

Turns out he MOVED as in a step, my Dad paniced (as he was going to be surely dragged around the yard) and tied him in some fashion to someones range rover wing mirror!!!!!!!


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## Cobi (10 May 2012)

These are brilliant!! Love them, my most recent one was a friend asked why i felt the need to be late for a party as i had been with the horses, (not mine, help at RS) she said that surely theyd be fine for a few days on their own!!! I was so shocked i couldnt even answer!


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## FreddiesGal (10 May 2012)

On telling my boyfriend i have a 26 year old pony his reply was "woah! she must be ginormous by now". He genuinely thought horses got bigger with age


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## ChinaTree (10 May 2012)

Quite sad reall, but used to keep pony near a camp site, between the camp site and the sea.  Tourists stopped just outside the field one day
Tourist: "Excuse me, but what are those animals? They don't look like cows, but that's the closest I can think of" 
Me: "ummm... their ponies" 
Tourist looked confused. 
Me: "small horses" 
Tourist: "oh, horses? I've never seen a horse before! And what did you call them? Pennies?"
Me: "ponies"
Tourist: "oh, thank you" wandered back to car looking confused

Saw the same tourist whilst out hacking, and tourist anounced proudly to their kids "look, it's one of the pennies I told you about!"
kid replied "it's a cow dad!"

I hope they were winding me up, but they seemed completely serious!


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## CanadianGirl (10 May 2012)

When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!".  Or, "That's not a riding horse!".


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## Mike007 (10 May 2012)

CanadianGirl said:



			When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!".  Or, "That's not a riding horse!". 

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Maybe they are right


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## labruyere (10 May 2012)

yes we all get the 'still having lessons one', 
usually from 'horsey' people though - 
 as in  :- once i learnt to ride i stopped having lessons
(i normally reply that tiger woods doesn't have a coach either ?!)

but amazed no-one's yet mentioned
riding's not a sport, you just sit there and the horse does all the work
(normally explain this one with figure skating analogy - looks effortless til you see them sitting outside waiting for the scores, complete with oxygen masks)

and the absolute classic
i rode a horse once
it bolted off and threw me
(launched into a couple of strides of trot and they slid off the side)


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## xxMozlarxx (10 May 2012)

CanadianGirl said:



			When I'm out on a trail ride with my friend who is riding a Clydesdale, people often say, "That's a plow horse!".  Or, "That's not a riding horse!". 

Click to expand...

Better than 'cart horse'


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## Box_Of_Frogs (10 May 2012)

Stepdaughter's hubby was watching me bring my horse in from the field one day. He spotted the "FULL" tag on the headcollar and asked with a smile, Oh, does it say "EMPTY" when he gets hungry then? Priceless!


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## DressageCob (10 May 2012)

I was once riding my little cob with my friend on her cob, on the beach at Ainsdale. This man came over to us and started shouting about how loads of metal had gone missing in the area, tiles stolen from a church roof etc. We were sat there going right, but how does this affect us? He then started shouting at us for being "gypsies". 

We're not gypsies, we were just riding coloured cobs  And they were fully clipped out, no feathers or hairiness either. 

You've got to laugh  I don't know where he thought we'd put the church tiles...


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## Pixxie (10 May 2012)

One afternoon at college I was speaking to a friend and mentioned how tired I was as I'd ridden my horse and mucked out eight before coming to college at 12 and that after I finished at 6 I needed to go back. Well she was completely horrified and along with my lecturer exclaimed "what?! You have to do them everyday?! Can't they just look after themselves?" My reply went along the lines of...... Yes I do twice a day actually well until they grow opposable thumbs at least :/ I was a little concerned


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## midnight mayhem (10 May 2012)

Not something he said but did, I asked my OH to fill a couple of haynets for me as I was running late, when I went to check how he was doing he was busy giving the horses their haynets..filled with straw. It all looked the same to him-lucky I didn't ask him to top up their beds-may have used hay! :-/


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## Jzee (10 May 2012)

midnight mayhem said:



			Not something he said but did, I asked my OH to fill a couple of haynets for me as I was running late, when I went to check how he was doing he was busy giving the horses their haynets..filled with straw. It all looked the same to him-lucky I didn't ask him to top up their beds-may have used hay! :-/
		
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Oh how happy my horse would be to be bedded on hay!

My OH started a new job and was talking to a new workmate, turns out he's into racing, so OH asked National Hunt or Flat and the workmate looked confused and said 'You know, the one with throughbreds'... um and then a bit later, Jenna (that's me!) has an ex-racehorse... oh so its not a throughbred any more' ... 

Oh and my mum told a friend that I was checking for laminitis when I was picking out their feet!


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## EquiGal92 (10 May 2012)

Don't know if these have been done yet but anyways ,

My Mom says when she sees horses in a field that they are cold without their coats (rugs) on. I insist that if they were wild they wouldn't have humans to put them on for them and that if they have got food and shelther they will be fine - she doesn't always look convinced 

When I was first starting out in the horsey world, I was explaining (yet gain to my Mom) about hot, cold and warm blood breeds. She said to me, "how can they be cold blooded, they're not reptiles...?"!!!


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## Queenjude (10 May 2012)

Box_Of_Frogs said:



			Stepdaughter's hubby was watching me bring my horse in from the field one day. He spotted the "FULL" tag on the headcollar and asked with a smile, Oh, does it say "EMPTY" when he gets hungry then? Priceless!
		
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Ha ha ha I love this!


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## Patterdale (10 May 2012)

This thread ishilarious!

My OH comes out with some corkers. He is a farmer so everything is in farming terms. 

He calls worming 'dosing' and asked if I dip them. 

He cannot understand why I 'shear' them in winter when it's cold, but not in summer when it's warm. 

When I asked him to help change a dressing on my horse once he said 'ok I'll meet u at the cattle race' and actually thought that I would just put her through the crush!

He calls rugs coats but has now got me doing that too! And calls their boots 'bootees' or 'walking pads'

He cannot understand why I don't do their feet myself, like he does with the sheep. He informs me that this would save money. 

The first time I was travelling one somewhere I asked him to just give me a hand loading, and he appeared with a piece of blue pipe, raring to go.  I explained that it is different to cattle, the horse is supposed to walk in of his own free will 

When I was sending a horse to the (nice) sales and said I wanted her in good condition, he asked if they grade them like lambs, and how much per kilo did I expect to get? All this while feeling along her back and squeezing her back end.  Had to explain I do not raise horses for meat. 
Totally different mentality! 

I could go on....he does try but it's hilarious. 

Oh and when one of them got a foot abscess he kept enquiring after her 'foot rot!'


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## Patterdale (10 May 2012)

Oh and when I had to have one PTS he referred to it as 'sending her off.' 
I explained I'd rather bury her at home and he was very confused, and said 'wont there be any value in the carcass? She's huge, she'll kill out quite well. Waste not want not....I'm only thinking of your vet bill.'

In his mind he was being very kind and considerate, and must admit it did make me laugh at a sad time!


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## varietymix_123 (10 May 2012)

jumpthemoon said:



			The two things I always get asked by people are 'does the horse need looking after EVERY day? Won't it be ok if you just leave it for a few days?' 
And 'you don't need lessons, surely? You can ride!'
Oh's dad regularly refers to any comps, either jumping or dressage, as gymkhanas as well, which drives me nuts!
		
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My Dad does this too - drives me crazy!!


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## CatStew (10 May 2012)

*very* novice horse owner:  "I can't understand why my horse won't go out on hacks by herself.  She used to be a trail horse"


No, no, actually she wasn't a trail horse at all.. she'd done Trailblazers 






A child sitting on a pony for the first time at a riding school I worked at "uuuhh..it's all wobbly!"


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## LaurenBay (10 May 2012)

Abz88 said:



			HA HA HA - brilliant. My dad is also useless. I remember years and years ago I was riding a very ploddy cob (known at the yard for being fat, dumb and lazy - but very sweet natured) in a little local show (clear round jumping) and I asked my dad to hold him while I went to walk the course. He was NOT happy with this idea at all, but, took the reins. When I came back there was my dad,....no pony!! 

Me - 'DAD!!! Where did you put him?!?!'
Dad - 'He started running away,....so I put him over there...'

Turns out he MOVED as in a step, my Dad paniced (as he was going to be surely dragged around the yard) and tied him in some fashion to someones range rover wing mirror!!!!!!!
		
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Hahah!!! oh gosh could you imagine the Range Rover owner coming back and finding a Horse tied to it!!


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## Bluepegasus2802 (10 May 2012)

My non-horsey husband comes out with some daft things. My mum has a Shetland pony called Bracken, when my husband used to see him he would ask me if Bracken's toes needed cleaning.
The best one though was when we were eating tea one day, I left some of my beef burger as I had had enough, my husband told me to save it to feed it to Bracken later. He was serious as well!


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## Oddjob's Wife (10 May 2012)

This is great!  Many are familiar, probably to most of us.
My, sadly departed, grandmother came out with some corkers - the number (numnah), the girdle (girth) and martindale (martingale) were the most frequent.
In the early days, my now educated as owns himself now, OH - his fringe is in his eyes and shall I put his pyjamas/raincoat on?  Neither of our horses have forelocks or rugs anymore, they have fringes, raincoats and pyjamas!
From one of the owners in the yard - he's injured his ankle!  Is this funnier because it's someone we expect to know the proper term?!!


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## FreddiesGal (10 May 2012)

patterdale said:



			Oh and when I had to have one PTS he referred to it as 'sending her off.' 
I explained I'd rather bury her at home and he was very confused, and said 'wont there be any value in the carcass? She's huge, she'll kill out quite well. Waste not want not....I'm only thinking of your vet bill.'

In his mind he was being very kind and considerate, and must admit it did make me laugh at a sad time!
		
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Sorry for your loss, this is absolutely hilarious though!


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## PandorasJar (10 May 2012)

patterdale said:



			He calls rugs coats but has now got me doing that too!
		
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That does my nut! Between non-horsey friends and teaching littluns on a farm, I have picked up lots of words like that and get looked at like I'm mad! Can't for the life of me use the correct words now though!

Helmet is used frequently for hat from explaining why you had to wear a helment on a horse like on a bike!

Pan


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## Hanzybaby01 (10 May 2012)

Haha! Some of these are hilarious!

My poor boyfriend just rolls his eyes whenever I babble on about horse riding. He never seems to say much about them so iv not had any silly comments yet lol


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## Patterdale (10 May 2012)

FreddiesGal yes I know....luckily I have a sense of humour but he was serious! Farmers eh, it's all profit and loss in their world


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## lydia (10 May 2012)

the one that gets me "that's not exercise, all you do is just sit there"


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## bumper (10 May 2012)

I posted on my Facebook wall the other day about how disappointed I was that Badminton had been cancelled. Got a very sympathetic response from a non-horsey friend:
"Aww...were you going to be competing?" !!!


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## wts (10 May 2012)

Hahahaha loving this thread! My favourite was courtesy of my non-horsey mum last year, following me taking my baby horse to the summer dressage regionals (which it was a huge acheivement just to get there!) 

She likes to show interest so asked to see my score sheet, which had the show photographers card attached. She studied the score sheet for a while and then said 'well at least you got a nice photo'.  

I was a bit confused until I realised she was referring to the photographers advert- errrr no, that would be Charlotte DuJardin doing a lap of honour complete with sash, rug, top hat and tails..we had just come 23rd in the prelim... 

I couldn't even begin to explain to her what was so comical about the comparison!


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## TJP (10 May 2012)

RiderLizzie said:



			Said by the OH- "Why doesn't she like going in her horsey house?" He couldn't remember the word for stable 

Brushing the horse for her to go out and roll in the mud again. 
Dad- Well what was the point in all that brushing?
Me- Quiet you.

Went to see the ponies on Christmas day, Dad walking across the field too. J boy goes marching on over wondering who this new fellow in his field is (Daddy) and the look of sheer panic in my Dad's face as he said "Quickly, quickly, throw a carrot at it!"  

Click to expand...

This made me LOL - still giggling in fact.   Hubby thinks I have lost it completely..

On Sun a friends husband got very confused.  He asked if the pony was the 'baby of the big horse'.  I explained that no she wasn't, she was my sons pony and the 'big horse' was a brood mare.  Him -'When will she grow that tall?' Me - 'she won't, shes 30 & retired and the broody is 8'.  The look of complete confusion was hilarious.  It took a while to get the pony/horse thing straight in his head.  

At my sons second lesson his instructor asked him if he knew what 'change the rein' meant.  He looked at her as if she was completely thick, replied 'yes' and crossed his hands over each other.  Bingo - reins changed


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## LeannePip (10 May 2012)

My dad try's not to talk horses with us but he was on the phone to his friend the other day about how much he loved his car but that he had to sell our Honda CRV so he could get a big car to tow with because 'we now have *small pause* three horses in the family* but he said it in the same voice you'd tell some one you had an incurable disease :L thats what he sees the horses as. incurable :L

he does however give us training tips at the end of competitions. my dad has never as much as sat on a horse but he can tell us exactly what we did wrong.  to my mum 'cant you tell maii (mums horse) to put her head down like pip(my horse) does because i think thats what the judges are looking for and you don't make her put her head down' *face to palm* or after jumping its usually - why don't you enter the bigger classes - the horse doesn't know how big the class is'. . . i never understood that one


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## Shantara (10 May 2012)

How about stupid things horsey people say to non-horsey people?

Some random guy (who was very good looking...yes, I got his number!) stopped me in the street and complimented my hat. We got talking and I mentioned horses. He said he was a fitness coach and then asked if I liked Badminton. I said "Oh yea! I used to play all the time at school, but my parents and I have just started going again"
He looked at me funny and said "No, I meant the horse event.."
Whoops!


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## EMC (10 May 2012)

My OH calls a Myler combination a My-laar. I forgave him that as most boyfriends wouldn't even know what one is! 

At the last livery yard we looked at I found him in the barn with a young fillies head in his arms whispering sweet nothings in her furry ear. I was less than amused ctaching him with 'another woman' but atleast she wasn't human and this does bode well for the 'can we afford another horse' conversation.

Oh and watching Charlotte Dujardin's world record test on H&C TV website he said 'why is she celebrating? the horse did all the work....'


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## Lintel (10 May 2012)

" Aw he looks like a giant hamster doesn't he " 
Has to be today's big un.

But most of the other stuff on here of- how can he be a pony when he is so old, - or the good old, "OMG, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS WILLY!" 

 - Too many to mention!


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## Doogal (10 May 2012)

My OH refers to horses with feathers as "ponies with flares".

Actually, I think it makes more sense!


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## nona1 (11 May 2012)

I volunteer sometimes at an open farm so lots of non-animally visitors with all sort of comments.

The one thing I've found bothers them most about horses is their chestnuts, they always spot them, ask what they are, and look very disbelieving when I say it's just a normal part of their legs. I'm sure they think they've got some awful skin disease or leg cancer. Willy size is another highly interesting factor and of course there is one lad who loves to let it all hang out when he has an audience. Same boy lays flat out sparko in his stable every afternoon for a nap and people think he is dead.

People think we are 'cruel' to send the lambs away yet if you ask them, they eat lamb...where do they think it comes from? 

I've been asked if we dye the pigs (lairy ginger things).

My dad still insists on calling jodhpurs 'jod-fers' as he knows there's an h and a p in there together, and thinks they are the other way round making an 'f' sound. this is after 40 years of me saying jodhpurs.


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## Patterdale (11 May 2012)

I've had the hamster one too! When a friend saw my horse in his nice clean shavings bed 

'They're just like massive hamsters really aren't they?'

I couldn't stop imagining her with one of those water bottles and a nice wheel on one wall for exercise!!


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## horsemadelsie (11 May 2012)

my uncle came to watch me ride once with my pony-mad cousin. I trotted off round the field and when I came back he said to my cousin "See, she was going so fast she was almost bouncing off the horse! did you see her going up and down?"
he looked very puzzled when I explained rising trot!!


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## leah_x (11 May 2012)

Oh Ive had people fascinated by my horses private parts, he had it half out and when I answered my brothers question saying its twice that size he nearly passed out! 
Also tried to teach my brother to muck out, instead of simply attacking the shavings to loosen them about, he picked up little hand fulls and spread it about like you would in a gerbils cage! Lol
My mum also calls rugs blankets, which I don't know why but it really annoys me. 
Like other people have said - my mum is baffled as to why we clip in winter and not summer...


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## Victoria25 (11 May 2012)

This post is soooo funny!! 

&#8220;That horse isnt as shiny as he was last year Vicky, have you been neglecting him?&#8221; This was mid-winter and had a coat like a woolly bear &#8230; yes mother, I don&#8217;t feed him/look after him anymore .. 

&#8220;You must be rich if you&#8217;ve got two horses&#8221; actually no, Im probably the poorest person you know and have a constant smell of horse poo surrounding me! 

&#8220;I don&#8217;t know what the fuss is about riding, you just sit there and 'tell it' where to go&#8221; OK, here are the reins &#8230; off you pop &#8230; 

&#8220;ohhhh shes like a princess can she fly?&#8221; from a little girl a while back when I let her ride my arab up from field bareback &#8230; too cute but unfortunately no she cant fly 

OH calls my jods 'jompurs' not sure wher ehe got that one from !


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## EmzT (11 May 2012)

wts said:



			Hahahaha loving this thread! My favourite was courtesy of my non-horsey mum last year, following me taking my baby horse to the summer dressage regionals (which it was a huge acheivement just to get there!) 

She likes to show interest so asked to see my score sheet, which had the show photographers card attached. She studied the score sheet for a while and then said 'well at least you got a nice photo'.  

I was a bit confused until I realised she was referring to the photographers advert- errrr no, that would be Charlotte DuJardin doing a lap of honour complete with sash, rug, top hat and tails..we had just come 23rd in the prelim... 

I couldn't even begin to explain to her what was so comical about the comparison!
		
Click to expand...



Priceless!!! 

This thread has given me such a laugh!

My 7 year old horse has recently gone barefoot and after a couple of months his hooves have changed shape so much that he has grown out of his hoof boots. I was chatting about this to the dad of a teenage girl at our yard (he has been around horses for most of his life) and he asks me 

' grown out of his boots?, why, what age is he?!!!!'

Thought his daughter was gonna disown him


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## TED2010 (11 May 2012)

This thread has really cheered me up, been chuckling away to myself. My OH always asks when I am going to start jumping proper jumps, he says he will be more interested then. This started with newly broken 4 year old jumping cross poles, tiny course etc, said horse is now jumping BN/disc which is still not big enough to be really interesting yet although he gets a bit more excited when we school over some bigger grids etc at home. He would only be happy when I was jumping 1.40 courses I think, which probably ain't going to happen. He then tells me "I should let him ride him and show me how it's done, it can't be that difficult! And that he would be jumpin much bigger jumps, hedges etc and would gallop everywhere"! Bearing in mind husband has ridden all of two or three times as a child on family holidays in California!!? 

Needless to say he has not been on my precious boy! If I try to persuade him to learn he says he doesn't need to he can ride perfectly well, plus he has far more important things to do!!


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## tashwilson (11 May 2012)

I keep my horse at a country park so on the way to the field I meet lots of people. Always get children asking me questions but one kid after spending about ten minutes quizzing me about my horse then asked if i liked horses. 

ALso family that critise and think they know everything about horses when they know nothing always makes me laugh


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## Katie_lew (11 May 2012)

OMG these are so funny!
My mum is the same  and i was visiting her once and i asked if i could have a carrot from the veg garden for my horse, She looked really pleased as to the thought of being able to be involved. When i went to visit her the next time a bowl of mash and peas and general food left overs was on the garden wall woth my horses name on it !!!! BLESS !! 

She has never been that horsey and when i was was yonger would take me to pony club, pull up and get out her chair and book and leave me to it, this is when u see full on horsey mums looking confussed, I think that was the best!


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## VixieTrix (11 May 2012)

Chavhorse said:



			OH: "Do you want to come in mate?"  "Darling is it one stamp for yes and two for no or the otherway round, he has just stamped once?"

I keep smiling!
		
Click to expand...

Haha my ex used to say "mate" etc to Blue and talk to him like a friend


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## Katikins (11 May 2012)

From one of my work colleagues: "Wow, a horse with a two-tone coat.  That is so cool.  Is he a rare breed?"

Me: "No... that would be his blanket clip"


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## Suziq77 (11 May 2012)

labruyere said:



			and the absolute classic
i rode a horse once
it bolted off and threw me
(launched into a couple of strides of trot and they slid off the side)

Click to expand...

This does seem to happen to a lot of people!


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## Crazy_cat_lady (13 May 2012)

Was asked by someone @ work the other day (nice to actually have someone ask about/ be interested in the horse for a change) "how old is he?"
"15" i reply. "So has he stopped growing now then?!" 

My boss summed him up v well- i was describing how he's scared of most things etc and he sais "so he has special needs then!"


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## Jackson (13 May 2012)

When I first started college, a new friend genuinely thought that Jack was my son, for months (!!!)  Even after describing how I was going to fence him a small patch in a field using electric fencing because he was getting too fat, the penny still did not drop....


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## OldNag (13 May 2012)

Mother in law asked me yesterday if the kids' ponies (both mares) were spayed.  When I said, no they aren't, she asked if that would cause a problem... could they get "got " by one of the male horses at the yard.  (Plenty of geldings at the yard but no stallions). 

One of the ponies has clearly bred in the past- probably several times looking at her belly (quite low-slung) so I can understand her thinking there might be a foal on the way!


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## Pinkatc (13 May 2012)

This is a good thread! Very entertaining 

My husband insists that the things I wear are jodhoppers and that reins are steering ropes. I'm another one that now calls rugs coats after hearing it so often 
Oh, and I caught my husband saying 'Paw please' to one of my horses when giving him a carrot. I really want my horse to do that now...


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## ThreeTB's (13 May 2012)

I posted a video on Facebook of my ex racer winning a race  - an ex work colleague asked 'is that you riding him?'. Still not sure if he was serious, as he's a real joker 

Another friend was amazed when he found out I had 3 TB's - 'wow, I didn't realise they were thoroughbreds, must have cost a fortune!' Yep, my latest one was literally hundreds of pounds, lol! Just because you might read about racehorses being sold for hundreds of thousands, don't think I've got that kind of money! I keep being offered them for free!


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## PandorasJar (14 May 2012)

nona1 said:



			People think we are 'cruel' to send the lambs away yet if you ask them, they eat lamb...where do they think it comes from?
		
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I used to work on a small farm that took animals to local schools and we'd have this frequently. Ironically not a single kid minded, but some of the adults went nuts if you told the kids where it was from :/ 

What worried me was that we do a food exercise 'where does it come from'. Veg fruit etc.
Kids kept on putting strawberries with the cow.... strawberry milkshake 

Then one teacher said how worrying it was about how little they knew about their food and they then had to be corrected later on that eggs were not dairy.... How many cows do you see popping them out?!!!

Pan


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## fools_ gold (15 May 2012)

I love this thread, so funny, have heard a lot of these before!
Work colleagues are really funny, they try to get involved... The other day one of them said so far I've managed to work out that horses are the most expensive hobby in the world (parcels always arriving to work with new boots, rugs, supplements etc etc etc) now that is not such a stupid comment  same girl also thinks my next horse should be a shire- now I love shires but maybe not first choice as a general riding/ jumping horse 
Favourite thing my OH says is... 'cowboy horses' = skewbald, piebald horses. His fav word is numb-a-nah (pretty sure that reads how he pronounces it)
He is getting very good with his lingo and can understand lots of things, but as soon as I ask him if he wants to help groom, lead etc he declines, but he does love feeding carrots and polos and is totally fascinated watching the horses drink


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## Vixen Van Debz (15 May 2012)

My OH liked seeing the horses get their pyjamas on, after they'd had their evening tea 80)


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## charliehands (15 May 2012)

my OH asked when i bought my horse if he could re name it to "sinbad michael angelo" he was very dissapointed when I said the horse was a girl and she already had a name..

I once asked him to change her rugs and the took the one off okay and then when it came to putting the other one on he decided to do it like a table cloth and just fling it up there! luckily i have a rather unflappable horse but also impressed with him as this horse wears 7'0 rugs so quite heavy and a long way up lol!

I let him ride my horse once and he wanted to make her "go fast".. he got on and she was walking, he asked me to make her slow down then!


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## freckles22uk (15 May 2012)

Friends down the track from me, told me I could just take the horses to theirs to graze the grass... um, no theres no fencing and they will bugger off...  reply, oh, cant you just tie them up? you know with a long rope...   um, no they have never been tethered before.. bless, nice of them to think of me though

Friend who can ride, asked why didnt I just put the stallion in with the others...(they all live out) um.... because I have 2 mares in there, 1 being his mum..

and also been asked why did I need lessons when I can ride.....  best reply I give, I ask if they can drive, and then tell them its like have advanced driving lessons, then they seem to understand..

mine are all barefoot and I get asked where the shoes are.. 

why do i have to feed them 3 times a day?... um, no grazing at all, they have to eat something, 

where do i keep them in winter as I have no stables, um.. outside, they are horses and wear rugs


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## npage123 (16 May 2012)

Someone told me that she's been terrified of horses ever since she's had a horrible experience with one as a child.
A horse sneezed on her...


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## zozo (16 May 2012)

Love this! They are so funny a little girl on a rather large DIY livery yard once ask me if stallion was the breed of my horse! When I explained that stallion meant he was a boy horse I got Ohh so that means Bertie (her little gelding!) is a stallion!! Now how do u explain that one to a 8 year old!!


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## Worried1 (16 May 2012)

My best friend's girlfriend came with us to the regionals, on the way home we were in the back of the lorry in the living and I heard her on the phone: "yeah we have been to a horse show thing we are on our way home now though."

Silence while the person on the other end obviously asked a question.

"Yeah the horse is with us, it's in the boot."

I nearly wet myself thinking about Blitz in the back of my Ford Focus!


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## alliebaxter (16 May 2012)

i was doing a pure & part bred heavy horse class & was the only 15hh with everyone else at abuot 17hh, overheard one woman saying the little baby one is cute it should win! hes 6 so hopefully wont grow anymore!
also one of my bar staff thought he had bootcut legs ( his feathers)


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## chappers1990 (16 May 2012)

My cousin once asked if I'd like her to fasten my horses belt (girth )


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## sidewaysonacob (16 May 2012)

I've spent so long explaining to non-horsey people that my boy has arthritis in his front ankles and back elbows that I merrily chatted about his 'ankles' to the vet the other day...


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## Crazy_cat_lady (16 May 2012)

People at work think I'm rich because i have a horse.....

Unfortunately I'm not as most of my earnings go on the feed, the bedding, the supplements, the farrier, the wormers etc etc!


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## puffthemagicpony (16 May 2012)

this post has had me crying with laughter :') 

ok here's mine. 

my friend came down to the yard and asked me if i wanted her to fill the hay baskets, and my dad insisted on calling them hay balls. when i take my horses to the field, there's some kids next door and they all gather to watch, and shout things like "i like the brown one!" "i like the black one with the jacket!" once i was in a tack shop with a friend and she said excitedly "oh look you can buy pyjamas for them!"


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## Mad_Cow347 (16 May 2012)

Vixen Van Debz said:



			My OH liked seeing the horses get their pyjamas on, after they'd had their evening tea 80)
		
Click to expand...

I always refer to the rugs mine wears at night as his pyjamas!


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## puffthemagicpony (16 May 2012)

just thought of some more.

i had my two mares in one big stable together for a while, an 8 year old 15.2 and a 22 year old 12.2 and a little girl went running up to her mum shouting "mummy theres a mare and foal over there!" 

once a guy was asking me if i had a horse and i said i had a pony, he said how old is it, i said 11, and he said with a smirk "well, he's not really a pony anymore is he?" i was stunned, he was so smug about it!


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## puffthemagicpony (16 May 2012)

last one honest. 

i told someone i do dressage and they said what's that like dressing up and stuff? xD 

i told a horsey person i do BYRDS and they said oh do you show them? show what? birds! this was someone claiming to be into dressage.


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## Archiepoo (16 May 2012)

my YO gives lessons occasionally and we had a married couple come once and as the horses were very well schooled and not riding school type plods we started them on the lead rein ,the woman told me not to bother clipping the rope on as she could handle a horse as she had been treking once about 10 years before


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## GoodysMummy (16 May 2012)

this thread has me crying :') 

like most tb owners all i ever get is 'will i be seeing you at the races this week?' and 'can i bet on him?! does he RUN fast?'

leaves me tickled


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## Feathered (16 May 2012)

Hahaha told my boss once I was going to Gatcombe over the weekend.... 
"oh are you competing?" 
Erm I wish, but it's a bit out of my league!


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## chaps89 (16 May 2012)

I've been going out with a guy since October, he'd had no previous horsey experience (city boy through & through) In February when we had that cold spell, I had the vet out for vaccinations.
My horse was so disgustingly dirty I washed his mane & tail.
I mentioned it to my boyfriend later as his tail had started to freeze by the time the vets got there (did feel a tad guilty!) 
Boyfriends comment was 'Poor bu@@ger, he'll have had an ice block swinging against his knackers all day'
I had to explain then what a gelding and a stallion is and that my lad unfortunately has no 'knackers' anymore by comparing it to his 8 month old puppy who was going through a (pre castration) phase of humping people and how it would be a bit more scarey if it was a Phoenix sized creature doing that! He was really quite shocked bless him.

On the other hand, he's since had a go on Phoenix, can bring in, change rugs, groom (sort of), pick feet out, put tie rings up, stack hay deliveries, fill haynets & feed and is picking it all up frighteningly quickly- he even asked this morning if the horses were still 'spooked' after yesterday mornings antics in the field- I was quite impressed at the correct terminology used there!


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## PingPongPony (16 May 2012)

this thread is great 

My friend was speaking to one of the girls 'know-it-all' step mum, she used to have horses, or so she claims and she was going on about how she buys the girl expensive sj lessons every week with a top show jumper. When asked whats the persons name, she said 'oh i can't remember exactly and i don't want to give you the wrong one, i have their card somewhere thou' and then when asked what grade is the top show jumper she said 'ummmmm, what do you mean' so friend said 'well is the person grade a, b, c or maybe they compete trailblazers?' to that the woman went 'oh right, yes yes he's done all of the grades as a child, thats history, now he's competeing at the top level of trailblazers' 

we have a girl at our yard that has got her first horse and is completely cluless, she was talking to her granny and was being asked what they eat and sleep on and if you have to take all of the bedding out every day etc. to which girl replies 'tbh gran i don't know, i know thay eat hay and sleep on straw but which one is which and whats the difference i have no idea' 

the same girl again, muddy field after rain, bit of sunshine comes out, girl turns her horse out in a fleece because ''its not raining so she doesnt need the other rug'' horse rolls in the biggest muddiest puddle of course 

the same girl, saw me and other liveries putting a couple of supplements on the horses feeds, so thinks she needs to use them too, spotted my hibi scrub, poured some into horses feed a couple of days, i went to use hibi scrub, not much left, i didn't know that she took it and never gave her permition to, she was wondering why her horse wasn't eating the feeds, they stank of hibi scrub, clever horse!

convinced mum to try riding. she gets on, ''oh this is actualy quite nice'' horse starts walking very very slowly ''oh no, its all moving, where do i hold on?!''  ''to the saddle mum''  ''but thats moving too!!!!'' 
needless to say that she didn't take up riding, but at least she tried to understand why i'm so obsessed 

me and my friend are out at a training session, i have matchy matchy red she has matchy matchy blue, i'm riding my 16hh grey and she's riding her 14hh grey. a little girl comes up and goes ''mummy mummy mummy, look! mummy pony and baby pony! they even grew different colours on them!'' lol 

i will probably think of a few more soon


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## Qru (16 May 2012)

This random man was wandering round our yard the other day, and as I was taking my boy out we had this funny little convo:

Man(he was foreign): You can ride this horse?
Me: Errrr yes
Man: So I can ride him, yes?
Me: Well, no, you're a bit too big (this guy was rather overweight and my boy is an extremely slim TB)
Man: I will loose weight and then ride him, yes?

Well yes ofcourse, please just jump right on.
My friend was also leading her horse out of it's stable, when  he took the lead rein off her, gave her his camera and told her to take a picture. He then promptly tried to get on him from the ground.


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## marcia123horse (17 May 2012)

Fidgety said:



			Not so much what non-horsey folks say, but... A fellow yardie once told the story of how she'd asked her OH to fill a haynet for her whilst she was mucking out and eventually had to go and seek him out because he'd been so long - apparently he hadn't realised that the haynet opens at the top and he didn't actually need to poke the hay in, bit by bit, through the holes... True! 

Click to expand...


 ahaha hahaha ha ha you have actually made me laugh out loud!!!


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## michelleyork (17 May 2012)

I went to the South View show a couple of weekends ago with the horse and rang my very non horsey husband up once I had arrived safely and unloaded horse into stable and sorted lorry out etc...
The husband then said how was Party and would he settle in the lorry ok for the weekend??  Very long silence followed before I asked him 'do you think that Party is using the lorry as a stable??'  Husband was convinced that the horse was staying in the lorry for the weekend - bit strange as I had brought up a friends horse as well and my lorry is only a 7.5t, takes 3 and has living - FOR HUMANS!!!


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## wilde2 (17 May 2012)

Call to husband from work as he was doing the horses that morning - I asked him not to forget the sun block.
Colleague asks me - so where do you get the sun block from then?
Me - Errr - Boots normally.
Wow - you must have to buy hundreds of bottles, and it must take ages to put it all on....I then had to explain that it was only his nose that needed it, went of chuckling at the idea of covering their coats everyday in gallons of sun block!


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## PingPongPony (29 May 2012)

another slightly stupid moment at yard with the clueless girl.
She bought her horse a fly veil, next thing we see is the horse running around with just a fly veil on in the field, not even a headcollar with it. the fly veil didn't stay there for long  we then put fly rugs and masks on our horses, she comes up and asks what those mask thingys are for and why do we want to blind our horses


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## lagartijamick (29 May 2012)

Someone once said to me "oh hasn't that horse got lovely red hair".
The horse in question was wearing a red fly fringe.


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## liss1987 (29 May 2012)

charleysummer said:



			The most obvious one hasn't been said 

Or maybe its just that I get asked it too much..

for example, there is  a 12hh pony at the fields and as it is a public footpath through the fields, i often talk to the walkers when I See them

walker : so is he a horse or a pony?
me: He's a pony because hes smaller than a horse
walker: awwww, bless him- how old is he then?
me: 24 i think,
walker:  what on earth? Then how can he be a PONY?! surely he is a horse at 24?!?!
me: *mental facepalm* No no, a foal is a baby horse or pony- a pony is a smaller horse, it is based on height
walker: Oh.. i wondered why he hadn't grown up.

I dont know why but i seem to find this far too often.. :S
		
Click to expand...

i get this one a lot!!


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## 3BayGeldings (29 May 2012)

Just told my boss my new companion horse used to be a racehorse and went round the Aintree fences - "Oh wow, will you be at the Grand National next year then?" Errrrm!


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## emalou2 (29 May 2012)

When saying I needed to worm my horse people at work thought for some reason I was going to put my arm up her backside like James Herriot! &#128563;


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## Hedwards (29 May 2012)

My dad has always called a martingale a manglefile...

After watching me jump big courses as a child, and knowing I'd lost my confidence and entered a very small clear round class years later - my dad asked if that was the warm up and when would i start the competition!

I was told by my mum that using spurs is cruel (they were rollerball spurs I had on at the time!), and wouldnt i poke holes in my horses skin...

Regularly get the 'why do i need lessons, dont i know how to ride yet?' question

And just today a friend said she'd seen a pony with its bits out and was amazed how big it is!


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## PolarSkye (29 May 2012)

My husband believed that when owners said a horse was lame that meant it was so broken that it needed to be shot . . . no word of a lie and he assures me that other non-horsey people also believe the same thing!  

OH (completely non-horsey in case you hadn't guessed) calls Kal's rugs his "jumpers" or his "coats" and is genuinely astonished that a horse might need to see a dentist.

P


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## alfielola05 (29 May 2012)

hobbling about the office due to a horribly bruised bum, courtesy of my little monster pulling one of her speed up to a fence and then stop and let me do the jumping tricks, a collegue said; jeez, im suprised you fell off your horse, i thought could ride


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## PingPongPony (29 May 2012)

non-horsey but animal related 
my friend has a girl labrador, she's not been 'done' so when she's 'on' they put a pair of old pants on her with a hole for her tail. Funniest moment ever, her dad lets the dog outside and notices that she's still got the pants on and starts shouting down the garden ''oi, come here you b*tch!! i haven't taken your knickers off yet''. i can only imagine what the neighbours must have been thinking


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## muff747 (29 May 2012)

Ye - this is a great thread

A male work colleague was telling me how he had progressed to doing rising trot on his lessons and how he had learnt about parallels (diagonals)

I had a black crocheted ear/fly hood on my horse out on a hack.  I heard a passerby out on a walk comment - ooo look, it's got dreadlocks 

My  little grandson was having a go riding a shetland on a saddle with missing stirrups. He kept slipping to one side so I went and found some stirrups.
Someone saw him riding and said "Ooo look at you riding" to which he replied " yea and it's much better now with the stabalisers on"

The old farmer used to use the pony to pull a "scruffler" between his cabbages to hoe the weeds and the driving bridle had "blinders" on it


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## my bfg (2 June 2012)

loving this thread!

once hurt my arm so roped bro into unloading some feed bags from my car, had some pallets with hay on in the spare stable so when he asked where i wanted the bags put i replied "oh just pop them on ems pallets cheers", he looked at me in shock then asked " is that where she sleeps then?" told him yes and that i "stored" her on a pallet at night so it left room in the stable for the wheelbarrow he replied "oh right" and carried on lol


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## KatieCOB (7 June 2012)

My 7 year old cousin came down to the yard and 'helped' me turn Samson out. Once that was done she asked me what that pink thing hanging from his belly was. For the life of me I couldn't think what she was talking about. . . . belly?. . . . pink thing? It dawned on me it was his willy.


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## Ladyinred (7 June 2012)

my bfg said:



			loving this thread!

once hurt my arm so roped bro into unloading some feed bags from my car, had some pallets with hay on in the spare stable so when he asked where i wanted the bags put i replied "oh just pop them on ems pallets cheers", he looked at me in shock then asked " is that where she sleeps then?" told him yes and that i "stored" her on a pallet at night so it left room in the stable for the wheelbarrow he replied "oh right" and carried on lol 

Click to expand...

Brilliant!


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## gooster (7 June 2012)

Love this thread!

When I first got Blue, I was speaking to my mum on the phone and she said "if ever you need any help mucking up, I'll come up and help"... I think she meant mucking out, Blue can muck up his stable perfectly well without any help. Just over 4 years on and she's a pro at it, having spent 2 years mucking up every wednesday for me when I work a late shift!


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## Caol Ila (8 June 2012)

(now) ex-boyfriend: Look at this CGI'd YouTube clip of a horse dancing to music.  It's hilarious.  It looks so real.

Me: It is real, you eejit.  That's a dressage horse doing a Grand Prix freestyle (the clip in question was Blu Hors Matinee doing her thing at the WEG).

Ex: But you do dressage and it doesn't look anything like that!


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## teasle (8 June 2012)

One day while out riding I got talking to a lady who was walking her dogs. The lady loooked at my horses freeze mark and said" Are all horses born with numbers and letters on them?".


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## Wozpril (8 June 2012)

Classics from my non horsey partner.... Straw bags, instead of hay nets, says my 14.3 looks like a smart - car, he's used to seeing police horses and can't get over me having a 'tiny little one' , calls hooves nails, rugs jackets, and the usual "why would you clip all their fur off on the winter?? It's far to cold, do it on the summer instead!" oh, and in the very early days..... " is that horse mooing???


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## Wozpril (8 June 2012)

Also, we had this from a footpath walker who called me over, and was really annoyed that none of us had noticed that some of the horses were really ill, they're just standing there, and haven't moved for ages, one is even led down, and that hasn't moved either, should we not call a vet?? She was more than a little embarrassed when I informed her they were all actually asleep in the sun.... But their stood up......!!!


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## K27 (8 June 2012)

One of my old work colleagues said to me once (when i told them i was leaving work early because my horses had the Farrier booked)-  "oh so when you go to the show at the weekend then , you'll be able to take your old shoes that the Farrier takes off today and sell them to someone at the show for their horse then".  I was like no way, and had to explain whilst trying to keep a straight face that it's not one size fits all etc.  Priceless!


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## Candella (8 June 2012)

A girl (who assured me she was horsey) confirming she had tickets to the Olympic eventing. I asked her what day and she said the Sunday. I responded oh so one of the dressage days then. She replied no the eventing!!!


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## Morgan123 (8 June 2012)

Caol Ila said:



			(now) ex-boyfriend: Look at this CGI'd YouTube clip of a horse dancing to music.  It's hilarious.  It looks so real.

Me: It is real, you eejit.  That's a dressage horse doing a Grand Prix freestyle (the clip in question was Blu Hors Matinee doing her thing at the WEG).

Ex: But you do dressage and it doesn't look anything like that!
		
Click to expand...

Love this one, it's my favourite.


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