# NEW RIDER - OWN HORSE



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

Hello everyone,

I have been riding for about a month and I love it so much. I go twice a week if I can and am currently practicing rising trot and to stay standing while in a trot. I used to ride when I was younger but came off and lost all my confidence. I’m 28 now and wish I’d got back in to it a lot sooner. I have a couple of questions, 

- When I ride on a Friday, there’s a lot of kids there about 13 and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed or crap because I can’t relate to any of them. is this normal? 

- I ride for an hour each lesson but I have more time and don’t feel like this is enough , I’ve looked in to livery and owning my own horse but I dont really understand how it works, if I do part livery how often would I need to see to the horse? 

- I love my riding school horse so much, hes 20 would he ever be retired so I could buy him?

I guess I’m just trying to find a way to be around horses more buy don’t have the land to keep one on unfortunately. Sorry for all the questions and sorry if they’re stupid lol. Thank you x


----------



## Red-1 (20 November 2021)

I just caught up on your other thread from June, I am glad the lessons worked out.

For me, the answer is a big, it depends. Buying a horse now would mean a lot of help being needed, which is possible but would cost ££££s. For all I know, you have £££s and this would be a possibility. In which case, be careful who you choose to help, as some people would take advantage. 

If money isn't free, I wonder if you would be happier on private lessons, so no kids kicking around? You would likely progress faster too. After 10 lessons, I would expect you to be cantering as well as trotting, if you were on private lessons.


----------



## Rumtytum (20 November 2021)

Definitely private lessons if you can! My lovely RS is very accommodating and lets me groom ‘my’ horse after our lesson (which I’ve strung out to now include a massage, he loves it! 😀). I could stay all day with him if he’s in his stable…. Perhaps you could ask to do the same?


----------



## stangs (20 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			When I ride on a Friday, there’s a lot of kids there about 13 and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed or crap because I can’t relate to any of them. is this normal?
		
Click to expand...

Do you mean they’re in a group lesson with you, or they’re just there as a gang on the yard? It’s pretty typical for RSs to be haunted by a bunch of young teens - they volunteer for the horse experience and the occasional ride.



Kaye2021 said:



			I ride for an hour each lesson but I have more time and don’t feel like this is enough , I’ve looked in to livery and owning my own horse but I dont really understand how it works, if I do part livery how often would I need to see to the horse?
		
Click to expand...

Personally, I don’t think someone who’s just cracked rising trot should be buying a horse, unless you’d be willing to pay for people to school the horse for you, or have full livery with exercising included. Can you have more frequent riding lessons? Otherwise, you could try: stable management classes, working towards a BHS stage or the BHS challenge awards, asking around on FB if anyone wants a volunteer doing yard duties in return for the chance to ride, or possibly looking for a share horse (not a lot of owners are willing to let a novice rider ride their horse, but it’s not impossible).



Kaye2021 said:



			I love my riding school horse so much, hes 20 would he ever be retired so I could buy him?
		
Click to expand...

Depends on the riding school (whether they have enough money/space for a horse when it’s time to be retired) and on the horse (if he starts making it clear he’s sick of it). If you really mean it, buying him that is, I’d ask around the RS, maybe hint to your instructor. They may be willing to part loan him to you, or even sell in the future as a working livery.


----------



## JBR (20 November 2021)

I'm a similar age to you and still relatively new to riding. I also feel that I can't get enough of it!

I can only echo what has been said about private lessons. It'll do amazing things for progress.  I do weekly 1-hour and just completed my 10th lesson. Precisely as Red-1 expected, I can trot, canter and have now have started to do jumps.

Does your RS offer group/accompanied hacks? It's a fun way to get more riding time without feeling like you're in a lesson. It will depend on how safe the RS feels you are, but it's still something to aim for even if your ability and experience are not quite there yet.


----------



## Winters100 (20 November 2021)

Great that you are having fun with it.

Personally, unless money is in _very_ ample supply, I would not buy yet.  At present you would need someone to help with everything, including daily exercise, because you would not yet have the ability to work the horse at the pace required to keep it in good shape.  Of course this does not mean that you will never own a horse, you can use this time to learn as much as possible.  I would speak to the riding school, ask if they ever run courses on horse care, or if there is a chance to part loan the horse you like so much.  Regarding buying him I would think that if you asked, most riding schools would be happy to sell a horse in his 20s for the right price.  In a private home he may or may not remain the calm character that you enjoy so much. At present he is probably worked several times a day, and schooled by the instructors. He might be quite different when his living conditions changed.

Good luck with things, try to take it step by step and enjoy the journey, rather than rushing into buying before you are ready.


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

Thank you so much to everyone that took the time to reply.
I have taken your advice on board. It is just difficult and I have all this free time but mostly, I have absolutely fell in love with my riding school horse, Danny. I just adore him. Out of curiosity, how long do I ride for before I buy?
If I do buy (not any time soon) how much exercise would he need?


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

JBR said:



			I'm a similar age to you and still relatively new to riding. I also feel that I can't get enough of it!

I can only echo what has been said about private lessons. It'll do amazing things for progress.  I do weekly 1-hour and just completed my 10th lesson. Precisely as Red-1 expected, I can trot, canter and have now have started to do jumps.

Does your RS offer group/accompanied hacks? It's a fun way to get more riding time without feeling like you're in a lesson. It will depend on how safe the RS feels you are, but it's still something to aim for even if your ability and experience are not quite there yet.
		
Click to expand...

Oh my gosh! I am so glad I have found someone close to my age! Also that Is a fantastic idea. Do you have an Instagram? It’s ok if you don’t also sorry if that’s forward but I just love that you’re in my age group and have just started x


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

stangs said:



			Do you mean they’re in a group lesson with you, or they’re just there as a gang on the yard? It’s pretty typical for RSs to be haunted by a bunch of young teens - they volunteer for the horse experience and the occasional ride.


Personally, I don’t think someone who’s just cracked rising trot should be buying a horse, unless you’d be willing to pay for people to school the horse for you, or have full livery with exercising included. Can you have more frequent riding lessons? Otherwise, you could try: stable management classes, working towards a BHS stage or the BHS challenge awards, asking around on FB if anyone wants a volunteer doing yard duties in return for the chance to ride, or possibly looking for a share horse (not a lot of owners are willing to let a novice rider ride their horse, but it’s not impossible).


Depends on the riding school (whether they have enough money/space for a horse when it’s time to be retired) and on the horse (if he starts making it clear he’s sick of it). If you really mean it, buying him that is, I’d ask around the RS, maybe hint to your instructor. They may be willing to part loan him to you, or even sell in the future as a working livery.
		
Click to expand...

Thank you for your honest reply, I agree I am jumping the gun.


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

Rumtytum said:



			Definitely private lessons if you can! My lovely RS is very accommodating and lets me groom ‘my’ horse after our lesson (which I’ve strung out to now include a massage, he loves it! 😀). I could stay all day with him if he’s in his stable…. Perhaps you could ask to do the same?
		
Click to expand...

That’s so lovely! I will ask 😁


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

Winters100 said:



			Great that you are having fun with it.

Personally, unless money is in _very_ ample supply, I would not buy yet.  At present you would need someone to help with everything, including daily exercise, because you would not yet have the ability to work the horse at the pace required to keep it in good shape.  Of course this does not mean that you will never own a horse, you can use this time to learn as much as possible.  I would speak to the riding school, ask if they ever run courses on horse care, or if there is a chance to part loan the horse you like so much.  Regarding buying him I would think that if you asked, most riding schools would be happy to sell a horse in his 20s for the right price.  In a private home he may or may not remain the calm character that you enjoy so much. At present he is probably worked several times a day, and schooled by the instructors. He might be quite different when his living conditions changed.

Good luck with things, try to take it step by step and enjoy the journey, rather than rushing into buying before you are ready.
		
Click to expand...

Hello, thank you so much. You pointed things out I hadn’t thought of. I will ask my riding school about horse care, they let me tack him up and Un-tack (unsure if this is a horse term 😆) But I’d love to do everything. X


----------



## ABR_1982 (20 November 2021)

Red-1 said:



			I just caught up on your other thread from June, I am glad the lessons worked out.

For me, the answer is a big, it depends. Buying a horse now would mean a lot of help being needed, which is possible but would cost ££££s. For all I know, you have £££s and this would be a possibility. In which case, be careful who you choose to help, as some people would take advantage.

If money isn't free, I wonder if you would be happier on private lessons, so no kids kicking around? You would likely progress faster too. After 10 lessons, I would expect you to be cantering as well as trotting, if you were on private lessons.
		
Click to expand...

Hi thank you so much for reading my other post! I am trying really hard to get on 2 lessons a week. I have budgeted and currently have £600 excess a month is this enough? X


----------



## Red-1 (21 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Hi thank you so much for reading my other post! I am trying really hard to get on 2 lessons a week. I have budgeted and currently have £600 excess a month is this enough? X
		
Click to expand...

It would be enough to keep a horse, but not for someone who needs to buy in experience, unless you strike lucky with the livery yard and horse. 

As a kid, I was at a big yard where we were one big gang. If someone had trouble, others would ride. In fact, we would swap round  bit, just because it was fun! The YO would guide with stable management advice, and part livery included turning out and fetching in. We all mucked in and got long. 

If you were prepared to do all the work and found such a gem, then it wouldn't be impossible, however, I think this is unlikely. 

The cost is frightening, to keep a horse. If you insure, it can be £200 a month just for shoes, insurance and vaccinations/worming. £150 a week for full livery would be reasonable, but that would likely not include riding or riding advice, so you would still need to pay for help with that.


----------



## Muddy unicorn (21 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Hi thank you so much for reading my other post! I am trying really hard to get on 2 lessons a week. I have budgeted and currently have £600 excess a month is this enough? X
		
Click to expand...

If I were you, I’d hang fire for a bit - you’d be better off using some of your budget to get more horsey experience without actually owning your own.  You could go on a riding holiday next year, find a riding school or centre which offers hacks, volunteer at an RDA centre, offer to volunteer at local horsey events, ask if your current school offers part shares, book some stable management sessions.  

After a year or so of doing all that, you’d still be a relative beginner, but you’d be in a much better place to start thinking about getting your own.  You’d also be sure that you still want to have your own horse after the initial flush of enthusiasm wanes!


----------



## Skib (21 November 2021)

I was an adult beginner and I could just about afford to own. But I pursued my education as described above. And ended up twice with the ideal long term share to hack. By the time you have been riding two years you will have a better idea of how you might want to specialise. And then buy the horse that is right for that. 
I did have 2 lessons a week but as soon as i could canter safely, one of those lessons was a hack.  I learned  to ride in order to hack and still love it. Nothing has waned.


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

What about if I bought one with someone who is experienced? One of my weekly
Lessons has just been cancelled. Gutted. I originally just wanted to learn to hack tbh. This is all I have to look forward to at the moment.


----------



## Muddy unicorn (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			What about if I bought one with someone who is experienced? One of my weekly
Lessons has just been cancelled. Gutted. I originally just wanted to learn to hack tbh. This is all I have to look forward to at the moment.
		
Click to expand...

I don’t see how that could work as the horse you would need now would be different from the one a more experienced rider would want to buy.


----------



## smolmaus (23 November 2021)

If you have a lot of free time and you are really itching for more horsey time, is there an equine rescue or sanctuary nearby that you could volunteer at? I found volunteering a great way to learn the basics of stable management, meet likeminded people and just enjoy horses without the riding element.


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

There’s nothing like that round here. ☹️ Feel like just giving up


----------



## smolmaus (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			There’s nothing like that round here. ☹️ Feel like just giving up
		
Click to expand...

That's unfortunate, but I suppose there aren't many equine rescues about. I think Muddy unicorn has the right idea above. Trekking and hacking centres will usually cater for beginners. My riding school has adult pony camps sometimes which might suit you, look around other local RS's if your doesn't offer it, you never know. And some RS's do sometimes have ponies up for sharing. 

I understand you're feeling like you have to jump fully into being horsey now because you've just come back to it. I was the same! But you have the rest of your life to enjoy horses, the great thing about this "sport" is that you can keep going into your 60-70s. There's no panic! Take whatever opportunities come your way and try and focus on actually having fun!


----------



## Winters100 (23 November 2021)

Don't give up Kaye, there is always a way, but I would not like the idea of co-owning.  You would have to find someone who you could agree with about _everything_, from selection of the horse, which as Muddy Unicorn says would be problematic, as few experienced owners want the type of horse suitable for you, to the yard, medical treatment, feed.....the list goes on.

The thing is that you need to learn about horse care, and also to see if it is for you. I say this because I am aware that many of my non-horsey friends think that I have a lovely time with my horses, because they see the fit and shiny horses when we are competing on a sunny day. What they don't see is the early mornings when it is freezing, the days when you are sick but go to the stables anyway, and tramping over muddy fields to fetch in muddy horses.  It is a massive commitment. I love my horses and would not be without them, but I cannot say that there are not days when I wish I had chosen a hobby which could be forgotten about when I need a break.

You need to get into the local horse community in my opinion.  Look out for any horse related events and go to watch. Chat to people and get to know them.  For sure there will be someone in your area who could do with a hand from time to time, even if it is doing the odd check on horses which are turned out, checking water, helping with poo picking. Could you post a note somewhere offering help for free? Make it clear that you are a novice who would like to learn prior to horse owning prior to buying, and perhaps someone will offer you the opportunity to help out and learn from them.  They may or may not be able to offer you the opportunity to ride, depending upon what horses they have, but either way you will be learning and meeting people.

Remember that everyone starts somewhere, and that for horse owners an extra pair of willing hands can be very useful.


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

smolmaus said:



			That's unfortunate, but I suppose there aren't many equine rescues about. I think Muddy unicorn has the right idea above. Trekking and hacking centres will usually cater for beginners. My riding school has adult pony camps sometimes which might suit you, look around other local RS's if your doesn't offer it, you never know. And some RS's do sometimes have ponies up for sharing.

I understand you're feeling like you have to jump fully into being horsey now because you've just come back to it. I was the same! But you have the rest of your life to enjoy horses, the great thing about this "sport" is that you can keep going into your 60-70s. There's no panic! Take whatever opportunities come your way and try and focus on actually having fun!
		
Click to expand...

it’s not just that, I have had a terrible 3 years. Just the worst luck ever ty wouldn’t believe. I’m a single mum and this is all I have right now. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s the only thing keeping me going and keeping my sanity for the sake of my daughter. The only reason I didn’t do this sooner is because I had absolutely no confidence. But I do now and I have the funds. It’s not as if I’ve had one lesson and suddenly decided I want to do this that and the other. I’m not looking to get a horse and start competing. I just wanted to hack and care for one. I love animals.


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

Winters100 said:



			Don't give up Kaye, there is always a way, but I would not like the idea of co-owning.  You would have to find someone who you could agree with about _everything_, from selection of the horse, which as Muddy Unicorn says would be problematic, as few experienced owners want the type of horse suitable for you, to the yard, medical treatment, feed.....the list goes on.

The thing is that you need to learn about horse care, and also to see if it is for you. I say this because I am aware that many of my non-horsey friends think that I have a lovely time with my horses, because they see the fit and shiny horses when we are competing on a sunny day. What they don't see is the early mornings when it is freezing, the days when you are sick but go to the stables anyway, and tramping over muddy fields to fetch in muddy horses.  It is a massive commitment. I love my horses and would not be without them, but I cannot say that there are not days when I wish I had chosen a hobby which could be forgotten about when I need a break.

You need to get into the local horse community in my opinion.  Look out for any horse related events and go to watch. Chat to people and get to know them.  For sure there will be someone in your area who could do with a hand from time to time, even if it is doing the odd check on horses which are turned out, checking water, helping with poo picking. Could you post a note somewhere offering help for free? Make it clear that you are a novice who would like to learn prior to horse owning prior to buying, and perhaps someone will offer you the opportunity to help out and learn from them.  They may or may not be able to offer you the opportunity to ride, depending upon what horses they have, but either way you will be learning and meeting people.

Remember that everyone starts somewhere, and that for horse owners an extra pair of willing hands can be very useful.
		
Click to expand...

I could ask about, I just feel so embarrassed lol.


----------



## smolmaus (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			it’s not just that, I have had a terrible 3 years. Just the worst luck ever ty wouldn’t believe. I’m a single mum and this is all I have right now. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s the only thing keeping me going and keeping my sanity for the sake of my daughter. The only reason I didn’t do this sooner is because I had absolutely no confidence. But I do now and I have the funds. It’s not as if I’ve had one lesson and suddenly decided I want to do this that and the other. I’m not looking to get a horse and start competing. I just wanted to hack and care for one. I love animals.
		
Click to expand...

I get that, I came back to horses after several very tough years as well and the benefits to my mental health really can't be understated. I also had that heady, addictive thrill from finally being HAPPY sometimes and of course you want to chase it. But it would not have been healthy in the long term for me to just jump headlong into horse ownership and I don't think it would be for you either. I had been taking a riding lesson every week from the ages of 7-25 and I was still in no way ready to take on my own horse when I came back to it at 30, it takes a different kind of work and learning entirely. It's even harder, basically impossible, to do without a support system of knowledgeable people to back you up. It is worth the time to do this right, not quickly.  

Another thing that occurred to me reading Winters100 great post above, does your RS offer adult group lessons? Private lessons will progress your riding faster but you can make friends in a group lesson and that might be worth the trade-off.


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

smolmaus said:



			I get that, I came back to horses after several very tough years as well and the benefits to my mental health really can't be understated. I also had that heady, addictive thrill from finally being HAPPY sometimes and of course you want to chase it. But it would not have been healthy in the long term for me to just jump headlong into horse ownership and I don't think it would be for you either. I had been taking a riding lesson every week from the ages of 7-25 and I was still in no way ready to take on my own horse when I came back to it at 30, it takes a different kind of work and learning entirely. It's even harder, basically impossible, to do without a support system of knowledgeable people to back you up. It is worth the time to do this right, not quickly. 

Another thing that occurred to me reading Winters100 great post above, does your RS offer adult group lessons? Private lessons will progress your riding faster but you can make friends in a group lesson and that might be worth the trade-off.
		
Click to expand...

yeah I was originally in an adult group but two aren’t well at the moment and the other two don’t come every week so they moved the two girls that come now and then (they can do more than me) to Sunday and I’m in a class on a Friday but if the class I’m in is for children, I’ll be cancelling. It’s too embarrassing.


----------



## DabDab (23 November 2021)

Whereabouts roughly are you based? Someone on here might know of something


----------



## smolmaus (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			yeah I was originally in an adult group but two aren’t well at the moment and the other two don’t come every week so they moved the two girls that come now and then (they can do more than me) to Sunday and I’m in a class on a Friday but if the class I’m in is for children, I’ll be cancelling. It’s too embarrassing.
		
Click to expand...

Well, I managed for 3-4 months being 30 in a class where everyone else was 12-16 and better riders than me. I promise you nobody else gives it a second thought. Children have those spongy brains that retain information faster than we do, gives them an advantage but we can just work harder 😉 My second lesson there was just before Christmas so we did pony games, just like when I was their age and I forgot to be embarrassed very quickly!

I would only cancel that if they can fit you into a private lesson instead where you'll learn more and then maybe move up to the adult group?


----------



## Birker2020 (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Hello everyone,

I have been riding for about a month and I love it so much. I go twice a week if I can and am currently practicing rising trot and to stay standing while in a trot. I used to ride when I was younger but came off and lost all my confidence. I’m 28 now and wish I’d got back in to it a lot sooner. I have a couple of questions,

- When I ride on a Friday, there’s a lot of kids there about 13 and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed or crap because I can’t relate to any of them. is this normal?

- I ride for an hour each lesson but I have more time and don’t feel like this is enough , I’ve looked in to livery and owning my own horse but I dont really understand how it works, if I do part livery how often would I need to see to the horse?

- I love my riding school horse so much, hes 20 would he ever be retired so I could buy him?

I guess I’m just trying to find a way to be around horses more buy don’t have the land to keep one on unfortunately. Sorry for all the questions and sorry if they’re stupid lol. Thank you x
		
Click to expand...

I would suggest you look into getting a horse on loan or share.  This was you can control the costs and get as much stable hand experience as you need.  My Mum and Dad made me do this (particuarly through winter) to see if I was still enjoying it as much as I thought I would.  I did and loaned two or three horses for a couple of years before getting my own horse.

I even helped out a chap who did carriage driving for films and he had two three year olds and a four year old horse and he used to let me ride those.  I would sometimes find myself on the floor with the three year olds but in those days I bounced and I didn't mind!


----------



## Glitterandrainbows (23 November 2021)

_if you comment on a horse Facebook page local to you asking if you came help care for horses and maybe learn a few things and possibly ride up here you would get lots of comments someone put one on recently and had so many to choose from._


----------



## Peglo (23 November 2021)

Could you join your local riding club and help at events? Might be a good way to meet people. 
Don’t be embarrassed, we all started somewhere and getting hands on experience is the best thing for you and a future horse.  
hope you can enjoy your lessons.


----------



## Red-1 (23 November 2021)

A share might work, for instance, I have an aged cob as a companion horse. He is perfectly able to be ridden, sometimes a friend will ride him to accompany the new baby on the road, but most of the time he just hangs round. He is wasted really, but as he is so easy and seems happy, he just hangs.

If someone advertised for a share or something, and offered reasonable money, I might consider it. It would have to be reasonable money, as I really don't need the hassle of arranging times etc and having someone come here. If a well worded advert were there though, offering help, support such as taking photos or grooming at a show, with decent money too, in return to be able to share my piece of paradise, I would possibly consider it. It would have to feel like we were friends though, rather than a simple monetary transaction.

TBH, I think the person would get a good deal.

I have known some arrangements like this. I had an inexperienced sharer for 6 months, the horse got a good deal, we made friends too, and my expenses were partly covered. A friend had one the same, the rider had an ace time and each got support and friendship.

It is like trying to find a schoolmaster horse. The good ones are just as easy to have round the place so don't often come to market.


----------



## sbloom (23 November 2021)

Having a horse as part of your self care, healthy mental health stuff, is brilliant, but it would be a really good idea to have some other pillars, as things can go seriously wrong with horses.  You'll have to take a lot of rough with the smooth, so I'd maybe make sure I'd investigated any other help that I might need now, and to have in place going forwards.  You have the resources to do that. 

A few years ago I went to watch a clinic to work horses in hand.  The lady running the clinic, not the trainer, sat and chatted with me.  She explained how in trying to learn to REALLY work with her mare from the ground, and improve her physically and mentally, she just kept butting heads with her, metaphorically speaking.  She realised the only way she'd make progress was to get help herself, and she went into therapy.  6 months later she started to make progress and could actually help her mare develop.

Horses are therapy, but we also owe it to them to come to them as our best selves, they deserve it.  Therapy horses have experienced people looking after them 90% of the time, and only deal with those of us struggling for a small % of their time with humans.

Horses are wonderful, but set yourself up to succeed.

(I'm probably laying it on a bit heavy but as a saddle fitter I'm often a confidente of my customers, and horse owning ain't easy and we do ask a lot of them)


----------



## Winters100 (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			yeah I was originally in an adult group but two aren’t well at the moment and the other two don’t come every week so they moved the two girls that come now and then (they can do more than me) to Sunday and I’m in a class on a Friday but if the class I’m in is for children, I’ll be cancelling. It’s too embarrassing.
		
Click to expand...

Don't cancel, unless as Smolmaus says you can change to private lesson or another group!  *You love doing this, so you can't be put off by having a few kids around.*

The thing about horses is that we are all just somewhere on a line.  Compared to a beginner I might seem like a very good rider, but compared to a pro I would seem very poor. Likewise the pro that I train with is amazing compared to me, but compare him to a really top level pro and he would seem not so good.  There is no reason at all to feel any embarrassment because there are people around who can do more, there will always be people around who are better than you and others who are not so good. I am sure that if a day 1 beginner joined your class you would not look down on them, but would encourage them and wish them well. 

Likewise you have nothing to feel embarrassed about in asking if you can help out to gain experience of horse care.  In feeling this way you are forgetting that 1. most owners love talking about their horses, and 2. most of us would be bowled over by the idea of having an extra pair of hands to help carry water, poo pick and groom, and in doing this you would learn a lot about horse ownership.  Plus you don't have to ask in a pushy way. If talking to an owner you could just say that you would love to get experience in caring for horses, and if they ever hear of anyone who would welcome some help could they let you know. Then it is up to them if they say, as I would, "Yes, ME".  Or just put a card up or a notice on FB. You don't have to ask for riding, as some would think that cheeky, but just say that you would like to get experience of horse care, can help with jobs, and don't mind getting your hands dirty. Then if people answer it is up to them.

Also remember that lots of people have multiple horses, and don't always have time to ride them all.  You would need to keep up your lessons to improve your skills, but if you were at our stable and were being helpful to me then for sure I would offer from time to time to let you hack with me on my schoolmistress.  I have to be honest and say that where you are currently I would probably only want you to walk, and with my supervision, but over time you will improve and be able to do more.

It sounds to me as if you are still feeling a bit low, and afraid of being rejected, or feeling silly.  Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen?  I join a lesson and can't keep up with the teenagers? Well then next week I will be better, but if I don't go I will be standing still.  You do not need the approval of these children to keep going.  Likewise if you start helping someone out and you or they are not happy then you will just cancel the arrangement, but you will have lost nothing.  On the other hand you may find that you love it, get to spend time doing what you enjoy, and learn a lot which will be useful later on.

It is by trying, sometimes failing, but picking ourselves up and trying again, that we get what we want out of life.  I say put a smile on your face and go to the lesson. If someone is better than you just think that if you keep going then soon you will be where they are.


----------



## ester (23 November 2021)

As someone with issues its 50:50 whether having a horse helps depending on how ok they are at any particular point in time. 

I was wondering whether you might be able to find somewhere that runs the BHS challenge awards? https://pathways.bhs.org.uk/challenge-awards for learning purposes. 
Or these guys offer them remotely https://www.equinedistancelearning.com/courses

I would definitely make enquiries with local riding clubs, - these can vary massively from a smaller group doing group hacking/low level lessons and social stuff to others which take the training side more seriously. They all will jump at the chance of having anyone willing to help out on occasion. It will also make you some good contacts for now and the future.

Re. sharing it's possible but you would need to be very specific/truthful with your experience. Might suit if you could find someone with 2 horses so you could ride out with them for a while (I have a very novice person on mine for a bit who went out with my mum on hers, I wouldn't have let her out on him on her own).

I have a lot of people to thank for letting me ride their horses over the years and imparted their knowledge and I try to pay that down a bit now and so will others. 

I wouldn't suggest you buy now but I don't think its an unreasonable aim


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

It just feels like a world/community that I’ll never be good enough for because I haven’t been riding since I was 4, or didn’t grow up on a farm, don’t have my own horse etc. I do t think I’ll ever fit in anyway.


----------



## Gloi (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			It just feels like a world/community that I’ll never be good enough for because I haven’t been riding since I was 4, or didn’t grow up on a farm, don’t have my own horse etc. I do t think I’ll ever fit in anyway.
		
Click to expand...

Don't think like that. There are lots of people that only learnt as adults. If there are local places that have shows on , they are always looking for help with stewarding ,where you make sure the next person is ready to go in the ring, and writing for the judge in dressage which you could learn to do at local shows. The more people you talk to and get to know the more you will learn and you could find people who would let you do things with their horses


----------



## Muddy unicorn (23 November 2021)

That’s simply not true - yes there are plenty of people who’ve virtually lived on horseback since they were tiny but equally there are plenty of people (lots of them on this forum) who didn’t start riding until they were much older than you are.
You’ve had lots of good advice about getting more experience which will make life much easier when you ARE ready to get your own horse.  If you want to do it, you’ll find a way.


----------



## ester (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			It just feels like a world/community that I’ll never be good enough for because I haven’t been riding since I was 4, or didn’t grow up on a farm, don’t have my own horse etc. I do t think I’ll ever fit in anyway.
		
Click to expand...

Not at all! I really can't see how you are getting that impression from these responses TBH. The horse I currently share has another sharer who didn't start until she was in her 30s, she only mentioned it when she was showing me around because as a result she tends to do things the BHS way rather than the picked up as she went along way, which is a good thing!


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

I didn’t say I got that impression from these responses. I don’t think that but there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of options in my areas it’s a very intimidating hobby.


----------



## Gloi (23 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			I didn’t say I got that impression from these responses. I don’t think that but there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of options in my areas it’s a very intimidating hobby.
		
Click to expand...

It's not that there aren't options, it's just that you haven't got to know them yet. The more time you spend around horses the more options will arise .


----------



## Glitterandrainbows (23 November 2021)

What area are you in someone may be able to help sorry if you have already said ?


----------



## ABR_1982 (23 November 2021)

I’m in Dumfries and Galloway x


----------



## sbloom (24 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			I’m in Dumfries and Galloway x
		
Click to expand...

It might be worth posting on the regional board and asking for horsey stuff near you, I'm moving to Biggar in a few months but nearly bought near New Cumnock, such a beautiful area!


----------



## smolmaus (24 November 2021)

ester said:



			Not at all! I really can't see how you are getting that impression from these responses TBH. The horse I currently share has another sharer who didn't start until she was in her 30s, she only mentioned it when she was showing me around because as a result she tends to do things the BHS way rather than the picked up as she went along way, which is a good thing!
		
Click to expand...

Absolutely. My very good friend only came into horses in her early 30's, maybe 3 years ago and she is the first person I go to for advice now because she has worked so hard to stuff her brain full of quality research and information. No "oh well I've just always done it this way". A really solid work ethic can take you anywhere no matter when you start.


----------



## stangs (24 November 2021)

I second the idea of getting involved with a riding club. Have a look at the British riding clubs website, find a club near you, keep an eye out on FB page, and offer to help if they ever need volunteers for a show. You don’t need to know much to help, they’ll be very grateful to have a volunteer (so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed either), and it’ll help you network within the local horsey community.

For people from a non-horsey background (speaking from experience!), it can be tricky to find opportunities. But that’s less because the horsey community shuns others (although can be the case - I’ve met some very b*tchy rural folk through the Pony Club), and more because a lot of opportunities are found through word of mouth. Like with most things in life, a social network is exceptionally helpful.

ETA: but worth noting that, if you’re in a non-horsey area, you may have to be willing to travel longer distances to find opportunities. I’ve done 1h30 commute one way for a share horse before.


----------



## Pegasus5531 (24 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			it’s not just that, I have had a terrible 3 years. Just the worst luck ever ty wouldn’t believe. I’m a single mum and this is all I have right now. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s the only thing keeping me going and keeping my sanity for the sake of my daughter. The only reason I didn’t do this sooner is because I had absolutely no confidence. But I do now and I have the funds. It’s not as if I’ve had one lesson and suddenly decided I want to do this that and the other. I’m not looking to get a horse and start competing. I just wanted to hack and care for one. I love animals.
		
Click to expand...

Whereabouts are you located? Could you find a local rescue or even just an individual that has a retired horse that would like some extra attention? This could be a good way for you to learn more about general horse care, yard duties and the hidden costs and responsibilities that come with horse ownership.


----------



## ABR_1982 (24 November 2021)

Pegasus5531 said:



			Whereabouts are you located? Could you find a local rescue or even just an individual that has a retired horse that would like some extra attention? This could be a good way for you to learn more about general horse care, yard duties and the hidden costs and responsibilities that come with horse ownership.
		
Click to expand...

I live in in Dumfries and Galloway x


----------



## ABR_1982 (24 November 2021)

Ok I went on to the BHS website like you guys suggested and my nearest clubs are 30 mins away in Cumbria so I am going to message them. What do I say? Also I was going to post this in my local equestrian Facebook group: 


Hello, 

I am a new rider and have some extra time on my hands I would love to own my own horse one day and would love to learn everything there is to know. If anyone needs help with mucking out or anything, please let know ☺️. 

Does that sound ok? I’m so nervous lol.


----------



## ABR_1982 (24 November 2021)

sbloom said:



			It might be worth posting on the regional board and asking for horsey stuff near you, I'm moving to Biggar in a few months but nearly bought near New Cumnock, such a beautiful area!
		
Click to expand...

it is beautiful!


----------



## Muddy unicorn (24 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Ok I went on to the BHS website like you guys suggested and my nearest clubs are 30 mins away in Cumbria so I am going to message them. What do I say? Also I was going to post this in my local equestrian Facebook group:


Hello,

I am a new rider and have some extra time on my hands I would love to own my own horse one day and would love to learn everything there is to know. If anyone needs help with mucking out or anything, please let know ☺️.

Does that sound ok? I’m so nervous lol.
		
Click to expand...

That sounds perfect!  Good luck 

and just tell the riding club that you’re a new rider who’s keen to learn and you’d be very happy to volunteer


----------



## ABR_1982 (24 November 2021)

Muddy unicorn said:



			That sounds perfect!  Good luck 

and just tell the riding club that you’re a new rider who’s keen to learn and you’d be very happy to volunteer
		
Click to expand...

thank you!


----------



## ABR_1982 (25 November 2021)

Just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice. I am helping out on Sunday at a livery and on Tuesday I have another one! Feel like my equestrian journey has finally begun 💗🙌🏻. X


----------



## Rumtytum (26 November 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice. I am helping out on Sunday at a livery and on Tuesday I have another one! Feel like my equestrian journey has finally begun 💗🙌🏻. X
		
Click to expand...

Excellent news! Looking forward to your updates 😊


----------



## equestrian7474 (1 December 2021)

Kaye2021 said:



			Hello everyone,

I have been riding for about a month and I love it so much. I go twice a week if I can and am currently practicing rising trot and to stay standing while in a trot. I used to ride when I was younger but came off and lost all my confidence. I’m 28 now and wish I’d got back in to it a lot sooner. I have a couple of questions,

- When I ride on a Friday, there’s a lot of kids there about 13 and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed or crap because I can’t relate to any of them. is this normal?

- I ride for an hour each lesson but I have more time and don’t feel like this is enough , I’ve looked in to livery and owning my own horse but I dont really understand how it works, if I do part livery how often would I need to see to the horse?

- I love my riding school horse so much, hes 20 would he ever be retired so I could buy him?

I guess I’m just trying to find a way to be around horses more buy don’t have the land to keep one on unfortunately. Sorry for all the questions and sorry if they’re stupid lol. Thank you x
		
Click to expand...


Glad you’re enjoying the world of horses! A few things to note.

Owning a horse is a HUGE responsibility, and most horses for sale in the UK aren’t exactly like the school horses you’d be used to riding. I’d wait until you have some more experience with riding and stable management.

One option you could consider is if your yard provides part-loaning? I’ve heard a lot of riding schools offer it, you basically are allowed to ride one of their school horses once a day with no instructor involved. The horse is still used in lessons and there’s no legal stuff or anything of the likes, the horse belongs to the riding school but you do get to feel like you really own the horse!


----------

