# How do you all deal with being on a livery yard



## moomoos (3 April 2016)

How do you all deal with being on a livery yard. This is my first time being at a livery yard with my mare and so far the experience isn't a great one. Any tips would be much appreciated


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## Dizzle (3 April 2016)

What is it specifically that is the issue?


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## gothdolly (3 April 2016)

Keep your head down, don't gossip and smile at everyone. That's how I cope!


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## Princess16 (3 April 2016)

So glad I'm not on one reading some of the posts on here ! 

But if I were you I'd keep my head down, see to your horse and go about your business oh and don't get into any office politics !


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## Orca (3 April 2016)

gothdolly said:



			Keep your head down, don't gossip and smile at everyone. That's how I cope!
		
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I was just about to say exactly the same thing! Living by these rules, I actually really enjoy being at livery. I used to work on a livery yard, so it's interesting, being the other side of the fence.


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## moomoos (3 April 2016)

Everything lol.  

All I hear is someone saying something about someone drives you nuts. 

I want to go to they yard enjoy my horse and enjoy a group hack, but in the real world it doesn't work this way. 

I moved to this yard as I am quite friendly with one person in particular her kid is best friends with my kid. 

But over the last few days it's gotten really tense with a few people in particular, our horses share a field 

Does it blow over eventually


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## LovesCobs (3 April 2016)

No, I tried 3 times, gave up, moved and have them at home


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## Orca (3 April 2016)

moomoos said:



			Everything lol.  

All I hear is someone saying something about someone drives you nuts. 

I want to go to they yard enjoy my horse and enjoy a group hack, but in the real world it doesn't work this way. 

I moved to this yard as I am quite friendly with one person in particular her kid is best friends with my kid. 

But over the last few days it's gotten really tense with a few people in particular, our horses share a field 

Does it blow over eventually
		
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Yes. Ignore it and carry blithely on, doing what you are there to do. Honestly, it really is a case of rise above/ ignore - unless there are actual problems which warrant an open, honest discussion, in which case, having that conversation and resolving said problems is usually the best way forwards.


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## Magnetic Sparrow (3 April 2016)

It usually blows over, provided you let it. I guess it's the human version of herd dynamics when you join a yard - you have to establish your position in the hierarchy. I've been at my yard for years now and it's fascinating to see how the mix of people changes things.


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## gothdolly (3 April 2016)

Honestly the best thing is just not to get involved. I am usually completely oblivious to all the yard arguments, I am too focused on my horse time to notice what is going on!


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## moomoos (3 April 2016)

Horses find their places quickly humans are a whole different story lol.  
Maybe a quick sqeaul would help. 
I've been at this yard since Sept last year  and everyone has their one select friend that hasn't changed at all. 
I guess I should be keeping myself to myself just hard when you field share and your horses are on just day turnout.


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## Moomin1 (3 April 2016)

I have pleasant conversation but keep myself to myself. I won't take part in the social outings of the yard or get too involved purely because I don't want to end up drawn into anything. Whether I am talked about because of my lack of interaction socially (ie night's out etc) is another thing, but I really don't care tbh.


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## KittenInTheTree (3 April 2016)

Moomin1 said:



			I have pleasant conversation but keep myself to myself. I won't take part in the social outings of the yard or get too involved purely because I don't want to end up drawn into anything. Whether I am talked about because of my lack of interaction socially (ie night's out etc) is another thing, but I really don't care tbh.
		
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This. I can't be bothered enabling any nonsense.


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## pepsimaxrock (3 April 2016)

I've been at my yard 4 years and still love it. There are only 10 livery clients (some have more than one horse) 
The YO has a few horses it's a big competition yard business but the livery business is small. Horses also taken for breaking n schooling and the YO gives occasional lessons. 
There's a couple of staff who help in the comps as well as look after our horses and they're great. 
Obvs we don't live in each other's pockets but it's a good crew.


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## Shay (4 April 2016)

As others have said - keep yourself to yourself.  Don't expect to be friends just because you all have horses. It doesn't work that way.  Never pass on gossip, never offer advice.  Largely ignore any advice offered - especially if you didn't ask for it.  Learn to hack alone!


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## Wimbles (4 April 2016)

By working full time!

Those who seemingly cause the most bother tend to have too much time on their hands and are not required to keep the hours that I do so I manage to swerve thankfully!


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## Sugar_and_Spice (4 April 2016)

moomoos said:



			Everything lol.  

All I hear is someone saying something about someone drives you nuts. 

I want to go to they yard enjoy my horse and enjoy a group hack, but in the real world it doesn't work this way. 

I moved to this yard as I am quite friendly with one person in particular her kid is best friends with my kid. 

But over the last few days it's gotten really tense with a few people in particular, our horses share a field 

Does it blow over eventually
		
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Earphones.

Forget the group hacks unless you actually have a group of sensible friends there.  Most group hacks with daft people deteriorate into loud whooping, poorly controlled horses doing borderline dangerous things and wishing you'd hacked alone.

Are you still friends with your friend?  If so, ride with her.  If not, look around, try to identify someone sane and sensible and befriend them to hack with.

Smile, be cheerful, pretend you haven't heard "that" tone of voice they're using or those hints they keep dropping and carry on doing what suits you.

Not really, it's one drama after another with some people.  Try to find out what times they go to the yard and you go a different time to avoid them.


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## skint1 (4 April 2016)

You've had excellent advice here and whenever I have had trouble on my yard it has been because I have swerved from the true path, got too involved or too caught up in trying to please others.  That said, I think it's nice to be able to go the yard and relax without an atmosphere.   I hack out with the same group of people and I really enjoy it.  We help each other where we can and are generally friendly.  

There are some strong personalities which can make things difficult to navigate at times. I don't cope well with moods and conflict so I tend to just make myself scarce til it blows over.  Most things do blow over, even if they feel terrible at the time


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## gothdolly (4 April 2016)

Wimbles said:



			By working full time!

Those who seemingly cause the most bother tend to have too much time on their hands and are not required to keep the hours that I do so I manage to swerve thankfully!
		
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Yep, this is true. I am at work everyday, am at the yard before and after office hours and don't see anyone other than other busy liverys in a hurry. We will all stop to hold a stirrup for 2 mins etc or even ride out together before work but everyone at the yard before 7 am is on a schedule and does not have time for nonsense! If I have a day off and fall prey to the temptation to stand around chatting, that is when I notice potential for trouble!


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## kamili (5 April 2016)

Shay said:



			Learn to hack alone!
		
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I think that is great advice and have been trying to do it myself! Keeping the head down and being polite and not getting involved in other peoples things.

Its often easier said than done.

Can't wait for the day when I have enough saved up to be able to get a house with a bit of land and some stables. I'm really growing tired of livery yards and am glad to see I'm not the only one..


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## Zoe67 (5 April 2016)

With my past livery yard experiences I'd say it is important to get one you and your horse are happy at! First yard I tried was lovely but horse wasn't entirely happy, Second yard horse was happier but I've had horrible experiences with the YO! Third time lucky we are both happy at a perfect little secluded yard


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## applecart14 (5 April 2016)

moomoos said:



			How do you all deal with being on a livery yard. This is my first time being at a livery yard with my mare and so far the experience isn't a great one. Any tips would be much appreciated
		
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Just try to do your own thing and steer clear of yard politics.  Remember you are there to enjoy your horse.  If you don't enjoy it anymore get out and find somewhere you will enjoy.  Don't for a single minute think your horse won't be happy elsewhere, most horses would be happy living on the moon, providing they have a warm stable and a nice hay net.

Livery yards can be wonderful places where you meet new friends and chat and have fun.  But they can also be places that you dread going to after a day at work and want to get away from as soon as you can.


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## H&H Features (6 April 2016)

If your having a bad experience at your livery yard, take a look at this - it might make you feel better
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/features/barmy-livery-yard-rules-507809


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## moomoos (7 April 2016)

That did make me chuckle H&Hfeatures


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## rachk89 (7 April 2016)

I just ignore the gossip really. I say hello to everyone going out on hacks with some girls who are really patient with how much of a coward I am and talk to all the people on my row. I find some other people on other rows are a bit stand offish but I think they are maybe worried about gossip. I don't blame them the gossip here is pretty obvious but frankly it would be far worse at other places so i count i yself lucky thar they still can be nice and helpful. 

There is one place near us that used to hold international 3 day events and because of that they love themselves. My horse would never have been liked there they had electric fencing up for fields and he finds those very easy to escape out of. I didn't like the feel of the place too snobby. Current yard is much more chilled and laid back but experienced as well. Gossip is a minor downer but not a bad one.


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## JDH01 (11 April 2016)

I have always been on livery yards for all my 19 years of horse ownership. 2 yrs at first 1 with 2 horses and 17 on current one always with 2 and now with 3 on full livery. You need to be fussy about the yard you want and facilities, honest about what you can compromise on and honest with your yard owner. Go if not working, I love yard and will not be going anywhere else. Ps always pay in full on time.


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## Starbuck (13 April 2016)

I hate livery yards and miss having horses at home.   But good advice here- keeping your head down and not getting involved is the only way to keep sane (the buzzing in your head of liveries bitching about someone else horse, way of riding, clothes etc etc would drive you nuts otherwise).


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## kamili (14 April 2016)

I wish I could keep mine at home, life would be so much easier.
Its just like livery yards fester negativity, bit like that gloop in Ghostbusters...


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## hairycob (14 April 2016)

The only yard I had problems with other liveries was like Jeremy Kyle live, it was like playing Daily Mail bingo and there were serious welfare concerns. Otherwise as other people have said keep your head down and if you do have an argument don't let it fester. Remember that if you are judging what someone does with their horse someone will be judging you too, so best keep out unless the horse really is suffering - unless they keep letting their bratty kids go into your fields to give your horses carrots and letting them escape or leaving a 17h horse in a stable for 2 days with no hay or walking up behind an unbacked 2yo & plonking a toddler on it - then let rip & leave.


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## Carkst (14 April 2016)

I am following this thread with interest.  My daughters horse is on a yard with great facilities but she struggles with the yard politics.  I have given her the same advice, keep her head down, be friendly and don't deliberately break rules.  I think you also need a thick skin, something my daughter doesn't have and I have noticed her confidence suffer.  She gets a mix of friendly advice to downright rude and hurtful comments.  The majority of liveries are lovely (they may comment behind her back but what she doesn't know doesn't hurt her) but there are one or two who are really spoiling her enjoyment.  i will be showing her this thread so she knows this is a common occurrence with livery yards.


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## sjp1 (14 April 2016)

I love my livery yard, and if I chose to get a companion for my horse could have him at home.  But I love to have people to chatter to and ride out with so, keep him where he is!!

I have mostly loved most of my livery yards - just think you need to be strong willed - haven't come across a livery yard where people are horrible and bitchy - but perhaps I have just been lucky!!


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## dreamcometrue (15 April 2016)

See all, hear all and say nowt!


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## kamili (15 April 2016)

dreamcometrue said:



			See all, hear all and say nowt!
		
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and don't ask for advice unless you can trust the person


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## ILuvCowparsely (15 April 2016)

moomoos said:



			How do you all deal with being on a livery yard. This is my first time being at a livery yard with my mare and so far the experience isn't a great one. Any tips would be much appreciated
		
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Depends on the livery yard - we have good atmosphere and  we have social events too


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## Polar Bear9 (21 April 2016)

Develop a thick skin.

Head down, be polite, don't get dragged in, it's easy to fall foul of one seemingly friendly livery who then spreads anything you say all over the yard. 

A generally friendly yet aloof demeanour seems to do the trick at most places. You might get called stand-offish but it's better than being dragged into the drama. Some yards are better than others, if it's really bad then move


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## luckyoldme (22 April 2016)

if its bad move. most of us have to work hard to keep our horses, and for me time with them is relaxation and wind down time..not time to spend getting wound up by narcissistic bitches. (had a bad experience!)


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## Damnation (22 April 2016)

I got to the yard, I do as I am told by YO, I care for my horse and clean up after myself. I don't pry and I don't get involved in politics (although only 2 other liveries so I don't see them often).

If I have a problem I speak to YO in an adult fashion and we wor out a compromise/solution.

If the other liveries are there we natter and chat but none of us are overbearing or interfering.

Its a nice little yard.

Best advice on a big yard, "Hear everything, say nothing". If you hear something that warrants intervention, inform the YO and leave it to them.


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