# I'm upset/shocked, saw horse seriously beaten on way home.



## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

I was travelling through the country lanes on the way home from work as normal when I had to stop for a horse and rider up ahead, I slowed down very early cause the rider was on foot and looked like she had fallen off by the state off her trousers. I'm sure she hadn't seen me by this point as she started pulling down hard on the horses reins and smacking him again and again hard with the whip. It was a long schooling type off whip and the horse was running round her in circles while she smacked it in front the sadddle, behind the saddle and across his bum. I feel bad cause I sat in my car in utter shock just watching, I couldn't believe what iv just seen and still can't. She was really laying into him. In the end I drove closer and she than pulled him and I mean pulled, he chucked his head up in the air so she started shouting. I had my radio on and could hear her over that. I feel so so bad for driving off and would like to now found out who she was and do something if possable. Thinking about it now I should off recorded it on my phone but didn't think off it at the time. I'm so upset and keep re running it in my head off what I saw. That poor poor horse


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## niagaraduval (26 August 2010)

Totally get ya here 
Got to admit though when my horse bolted with me he got several hard smacks on the arse. Didn't lose myself with him though and I wouldn't  beat him but he deserved it!!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

And you didn't stop to help - nice!

I did stop when I saw a girl in trouble and sawing at a horse's mouth and whacking it. They were winding each other up right royally and it was going to end in disaster. It took a while to calm the girl down but in the end when she settled we got him(the horse) past the terrifying collection of wheelie bins that were clustered on either side of the road and she was SO pleased that someone had bothered to take the time. She was in tears at what she had done as she had totally lost it but she just didn't have the experience to deal with it.

But hey, never mind, you just go on your way wishing you had reported it to the authorities rather than done anything positive to help teach someone how to deal with an animal rather than beating it up.!


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## Kellys Heroes (26 August 2010)

I feel for you  hun it must have been awful to watch and there wasn't really anything you could have done - sounds like you would have probably got a mouthful and gotten nowhere fast with her!!
I agree with niagaraduval - if Kelly pulls a silly stunt like when she gets down to roll with me in the indoor school, she gets a few short smacks and a "you little *****!" usually  but never would I repeatedly beat her and take my bad mood out on her (as it seems with the horse and person... you saw today - I say "person" because a rider needs to understand however bad their day is not to take it out on their horse and carry on punishing him for something he may have done 10 minutes ago!!!
K x


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## charleysummer (26 August 2010)

how horrid  people shouldnt have horses if they don't understand them/are too angry natured to cope.

makes me wonder why they have them if they clearly dont enjoy it to the extent of beating their horse..


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you didn't stop to help - nice!
		
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my first thought too.


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you didn't stop to help - nice!

I did stop when I saw a girl in trouble and sawing at a horse's mouth and whacking it. They were winding each other up right royally and it was going to end in disaster. It took a while to calm the girl down but in the end when she settled we got him(the horse) past the terrifying collection of wheelie bins that were clustered on either side of the road and she was SO pleased that someone had bothered to take the time. She was in tears at what she had done as she had totally lost it but she just didn't have the experience to deal with it.

But hey, never mind, you just go on your way wishing you had reported it to the authorities rather than done anything positive to help teach someone how to deal with an animal rather than beating it up.!
		
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Do we feel sarcasm helps?


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## Maesfen (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			my first thought too. 

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And mine!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			And mine! 

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Unless it's a Jackanory?


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

charleysummer said:



			how horrid  people shouldnt have horses if they don't understand them/are too angry natured to cope.

makes me wonder why they have them if they clearly dont enjoy it to the extent of beating their horse..
		
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Sorry but I just love this reply. Go and look down the threads on this forum and count up how many people are asking fairly basic questions showing that they obviously don't understand their horse or horse management. Now, do you want to go and tell them they shouldn't have a horse or do you think that it's better to offer support and advice and try to help them to cope and learn?


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## S_Farrah (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			I'm so upset and keep re running it in my head off what I saw.
		
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jemima_too said:



			And you didn't stop to help - nice!
		
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WOW, really supportive. This lass is obviously upset and thats the first thing you can say?

- nice!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

S_Farrah said:



			WOW, really supportive. This lass is obviously upset and thats the first thing you can say?

- nice!
		
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This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!
		
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As I said ......   a Jackanory.


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

I'm sorry but I was not going to stop after what I had just witnessed. I'm sure I would have got a mouth full and it didn't even cross my mind I was in utter shock.


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## JJtheJetPlane (26 August 2010)

Well hopefully the girl will have got the horse home in one piece and will now be feeling terrible for the way she has treated her him / her. 
You cant do anything about it now so dont beat yourself up about it.

All for all you lot that are giving her a hard time for not stopping give her a break she obviously feels bad enough as it is to be posting in the first place !!


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## xspiralx (26 August 2010)

This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!
		
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Totally agree.

Not for a moment saying that it is right for the person to act the way they did, but I've had times when I've gone out for a hack and horse has been an absolute prat and taken me very close to the end of my tether. I can just imagine that if the horse had been twatting about and dumped her and then refused to let her get back on she would have been very very upset and utterly fed up.

Again, not saying its right - but I think it would have been much better for OP to offer a hand rather than sitting in judgement and then complaining how fed up she is!


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## hannabanana (26 August 2010)

I agree with jemima and kellysheroes. As a rider she should never of taken it out on her horse and kept doing so, but she may of needed a little assistance to make her realise theres no need to get worked up, or she could of been a horrible person and give you a mouthful if you had offered help. Some do just need bringing back down to Earth while others are just plain rude and nasty. Like my friend who I ride with alot, it always seems to be anyone elses but her own fault when something goes wrong and usually blames the horse if its to do with riding but you just have to remind her its a horse and not a human to make her think. Its in the past now, and hopefully the girl will of calmed down by now and realised what she had done was silly. But at least if you see something similar in the future you know now to offer help and tell them what they are doing is wrong.

Forgot to add that that I have been in shock when I once witnessed a women getting totally stressed at her horse for not loading and smacking it over and over again screaming her head off and I just stood like a lemon, as well as 15 other people and several stewards. I did feel bad that I didnt go over to tell the girl to chill and try again in a different way because her method isnt helping, but no one else did. But I knew that I should do something next time I seen a similar situation, which is what I do now.


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## charleysummer (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Sorry but I just love this reply. Go and look down the threads on this forum and count up how many people are asking fairly basic questions showing that they obviously don't understand their horse or horse management. Now, do you want to go and tell them they shouldn't have a horse or do you think that it's better to offer support and advice and try to help them to cope and learn?
		
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ok i'll count the ones titled 'help me, i keep whipping the cr*p out of my horse because i don't understand what is going wrong, whilst making the poor prey animal nervous" yeh people get it wrong, but they dont beat up their horse in a  bullying manner! hope you understand my point of view a bit more now =/


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## Thelwell_Girl (26 August 2010)

OP was clearly very upset, shocked by what she saw, and did not know how to react. Yes, she maybe made a mistake by not stopping. Is this the end of the world?

TBH if I had been driving on my own, im not 100% sure I wouldve stopped. NOT because I dont care for the horse, or am not concerned by what I see, but simply because people can be nasty, and downright dangerous. Whos to know what this woman couldve done?

OP now knows in the future what to do. So please lay off her, and stop being so hard!


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## GeeGeeboy (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!
		
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 I have never heard someone that beats up an animal described as a "poor person" before. How do you know she was "having so much trouble with her horse" and not just a cruel person that was hitting her horse because it chucked her off!? 


 OP was upset by what she saw and ok she didnt do anything positive about the situation but why is she getting the blame for not "helping"? Surely its the girl who was beating the horse that is in the wrong!?


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## narkymare (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you didn't stop to help - nice!

I did stop when I saw a girl in trouble and sawing at a horse's mouth and whacking it. They were winding each other up right royally and it was going to end in disaster. It took a while to calm the girl down but in the end when she settled we got him(the horse) past the terrifying collection of wheelie bins that were clustered on either side of the road and she was SO pleased that someone had bothered to take the time. She was in tears at what she had done as she had totally lost it but she just didn't have the experience to deal with it.

But hey, never mind, you just go on your way wishing you had reported it to the authorities rather than done anything positive to help teach someone how to deal with an animal rather than beating it up.!
		
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Sorry but have to agree with this, last week i saw a young mum pushing a buggy and tryign to control a very naughty pup - i was following them and saw her kick said pup, i ran up to them and offered to walk the pup home for her - she let me. 

How could you stand and watch this and do nothing?????????????


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## JJtheJetPlane (26 August 2010)

he he this is turning into a right good heated discussion !! love it !!


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!
		
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What about the poor girl who was having the trouble with her horse,!!!!!!
 SHE WAS BEATING THE **** OUT OFF IT. No horse deserves that, if she had controlled her temper the horse would not have been running circles round her. This horse is probably beaten daily and lives his life in fear but oh never mind as long as the poor rider is ok hey.
What the hell are you on.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

GeeGeeboy said:



			I have never heard someone that beats up an animal described as a "poor person" before. How do you know she was "having so much trouble with her horse" and not just a cruel person that was hitting her horse because it chucked her off!? 


:
		
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If the OP had stopped, we would know the answer wouldn't we?


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

S_Farrah said:



			WOW, really supportive. This lass is obviously upset and thats the first thing you can say?

- nice!
		
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If she'd witnessed someone beating a child and carried on on her merry way would you respond in the same way?


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## narkymare (26 August 2010)

exactly - disgusting


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## S_Farrah (26 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			If she'd witnessed someone beating a child and carried on on her merry way would you respond in the same way?
		
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Some how I really don't think logging into H&H and posting how upset you are is carrying on in your merry way?


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## Lippyx (26 August 2010)

I understand how upsetting this is, and I see some responses are that you should've helped, but sometimes, its better to walk away.
Some people take kindly to help but others do throw it back in your face!
I have tried to help many people in the past and basically been told where to stick my advice/help, and thats from people I know!

Monster - Don't be hard on your self. Maybe you should've helped, maybe you shouldn't have. If this rider is like this with her horse on a regular basis, she has probably had loads of people offer help, and she has probably told them where to stick it!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

Lippyx said:



			If this rider is like this with her horse on a regular basis, she has probably had loads of people offer help, and she has probably told them where to stick it!
		
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And how the heck can you assume that?


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

Can you all honestly say, you've never frozen, been too afraid to take someone on, and wished afterwards you had?

I think you're being incredibly harsh.

Of course she should have stopped - er, if in fact she felt confident enough to help, which ain't a given is it? - but she didn't, wrong choice - so you never made a wrong call?

I offered to help someone the other day whose horse was arsing about in the middle of the road and was told to f off.

Will I stop next time? Hope so. Depends. I'm not 100% confident with strangers even when they don't have half a tonne of solid muscle whirling round them.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			What about the poor girl who was having the trouble with her horse,!!!!!!
 SHE WAS BEATING THE **** OUT OFF IT. No horse deserves that, if she had controlled her temper the horse would not have been running circles round her. This horse is probably beaten daily and lives his life in fear but oh never mind as long as the poor rider is ok hey.
What the hell are you on.
		
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And you could have got out of your car and asked if she was ok and defused the situation by offering to help and showed her or told her how to get the results she needed but you just sat there. What the hell are you on?


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## JJtheJetPlane (26 August 2010)

Kicking a puppy !! Thats just wrong.

Glad you got out your car and helped !!


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

S_Farrah said:



			Some how I really don't think logging into H&H and posting how upset you are is carrying on in your merry way?
		
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Ok, 'disgruntled' way. Still not shocked or upset enough to do something about it. It's very easy to log on to HHO and tell people how genuinely mortified you are... a bit harder to actually take action.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

Lippyx said:



			If this rider is like this with her horse on a regular basis, she has probably had loads of people offer help, and she has probably told them where to stick it!
		
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Well from the number of people saying they wouldn't stop to help on here I very much doubt that!


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you could have got out of your car and asked if she was ok and defused the situation by offering to help and showed her or told her how to get the results she needed but you just sat there. What the hell are you on?
		
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How do you KNOW the op has this expertise/confidence?


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

hannabanana said:



			I agree with jemima and kellysheroes. As a rider she should never of taken it out on her horse and kept doing so, but she may of needed a little assistance to make her realise theres no need to get worked up, or she could of been a horrible person and give you a mouthful if you had offered help. Some do just need bringing back down to Earth while others are just plain rude and nasty. Like my friend who I ride with alot, it always seems to be anyone elses but her own fault when something goes wrong and usually blames the horse if its to do with riding but you just have to remind her its a horse and not a human to make her think. Its in the past now, and hopefully the girl will of calmed down by now and realised what she had done was silly. But at least if you see something similar in the future you know now to offer help and tell them what they are doing is wrong.

Forgot to add that that I have been in shock when I once witnessed a women getting totally stressed at her horse for not loading and smacking it over and over again screaming her head off and I just stood like a lemon, as well as 15 
other people and several stewards. I did feel bad that I didnt go over to tell the girl to chill and try again in a different way because her method isnt helping, but no one else did. But I knew that I should do something next time I seen a similar situation, which is what I do now.
		
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the bottom part off this post sums it up nicely as to how you feel/act when you see something like this for the first time total shock and it's what I also done and couldn't believe what I saw. Maybe if you see horses beaten daily it's a way off live for you but not for me. Iv never seen a animal treated so badly


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## S_Farrah (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			Can you all honestly say, you've never frozen, been too afraid to take someone on, and wished afterwards you had?

I think you're being incredibly harsh.

Of course she should have stopped - er, if in fact she felt confident enough to help, which ain't a given is it? - but she didn't, wrong choice - so you never made a wrong call?

I offered to help someone the other day whose horse was arsing about in the middle of the road and was told to f off.

Will I stop next time? Hope so. Depends. I'm not 100% confident with strangers even when they don't have half a tonne of solid muscle whirling round them.
		
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Couldn't have said it better myself!..... no seriously i couldn't


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			How do you KNOW the op has this expertise/confidence?
		
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Because she comes across as such in previous posts..


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

I'm disappointed at the number of snarky, sarcastic comments aimed at the OP. 

Wouldn't a few words of support be more appropriate???

The horse is the victim here, let's not forget that.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

S_Farrah said:



			Some how I really don't think logging into H&H and posting how upset you are is carrying on in your merry way?
		
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no...its called attention seeking


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			The horse is the victim here, let's not forget that.
		
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And the OP did diddley squat to help it...speaks volumes to me..stuff the OP'S feelings TBH...


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## FlorenceBassey (26 August 2010)

I've said it before and i'll say it again, if you think that is a real beating then think again, it saddens me that it goes on, but other horses have far far worse done to them, Like being hung from the rafters of their stables with chains and left, or starved and dehydrated


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## alpha1 (26 August 2010)

thelwell_girl said:



			TBH if I had been driving on my own, im not 100% sure I wouldve stopped. NOT because I dont care for the horse, or am not concerned by what I see, but simply because people can be nasty, and downright dangerous. Whos to know what this woman couldve done
		
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I agree with the above comment. People can turn in the heat of the moment. The OP could have been hurt by the horse or rider.  

I'm sorry but sometimes its not worth the risk and it is not our place to get involved in situations like this.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

alpha1 said:



			I'm sorry but sometimes its not worth the risk and it is not our place to get involved in situations like this.
		
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Now this REALLY saddens me...no, if i'm honest, it upsets me.


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## TinselRider (26 August 2010)

FlorenceBassey said:



			I've said it before and i'll say it again, if you think that is a real beating then think again, it saddens me that it goes on, but other horses have far far worse done to them, Like being hung from the rafters of their stables with chains and left, or starved and dehydrated
		
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As much as it saddens me to say this I agree with FB on this one! 

TBF it sounds as though the rider has lost their temper and be honest people DO lose their tempers with horses from time to time, I know I have. I am in NO WAY condoning losing your temper with your horse and I regret it when I have, but FAR worse things go on than being socked in the gob and smacked a few times


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			The horse is the victim here, let's not forget that.
		
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And the OP, who claims to rescue horses, did nothing to stop its ill treatment by attempting to help in any way.


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## Holly Hocks (26 August 2010)

FlorenceBassey said:



			I've said it before and i'll say it again, if you think that is a real beating then think again, it saddens me that it goes on, but other horses have far far worse done to them, Like being hung from the rafters of their stables with chains and left, or starved and dehydrated
		
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Normally FB, I agree with things you say, but on this occasion I don't, sorry.  If you would like to visit me and stand there tied up, and let me beat you with a schooling whip over and over  (and not in a kinky way for those weirdos reading!)  and then tell me it's not that bad - then I'll agree with you.  Just because other horses have far worse done to them doesn't make what this rider has done any better.


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## Thelwell_Girl (26 August 2010)

To add to my previous comment, I am also quite small, so if anyone wanted to start a fight with me, you can probably bet I wouldnt win!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

alpha1 said:



			I agree with the above comment. People can turn in the heat of the moment. The OP could have been hurt by the horse or rider.
		
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How exactly? All OP had to do was approach and call to offer help. It seems from her description that the "rider" would be able to run her down in any way - she wasn't on the horse. She appears to have had no chance of dragging the horse behind her if she wanted to attack the OP. I suppose she could have abandoned the horse and attacked the OP but it doesn't seem all that likely to me. Perhaps the rider could have sent the horse off down the road to run over the OP - OP has often said how experienced she is so it seems unlikely that she couldn't either catch the horse or step out of its way.

Nope I can't see any reason for not offering help, I would have and have done so.


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			Of course she should have stopped - er, if in fact she felt confident enough to help, which ain't a given is it? - but she didn't, wrong choice - so you never made a wrong call?
		
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It's not 'a given' that the rider beats her horse on a regular basis OR that she would've told the OP to eff off, but plenty of people are happy to assume that.
Just for the sake of it, why don't we assume that rider had a *****ty day, got bucked off and had chased horse for 4 miles worried sick that he'd get under a car AND that she was late for her second job which she'd taken to pay for said horse and then lets assume, let see... that she made a wrong call.... WOW, wouldn't that be ironic?
THEN lets assume that she would've loved some help but all she got was a disapproving glare from a passerby in a car...
It would've cost NOTHING to offer some help, especially from inside a car when one can just drive away quite easily and safely from a person ON FOOT should he/she become abusive. For the sake of the HORSE, as so many are so eager to point out, it should've been done. And if told to eff off... well then the rant would've been justified and we'd all be agreeing with OP


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## Kokopelli (26 August 2010)

thelwell_girl said:



			To add to my previous comment, I am also quite small, so if anyone wanted to start a fight with me, you can probably bet I wouldnt win!
		
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I agree with this! At 5ft I feel if I went to help someone and they attacked me or tried to hurt me they could easily, however I may wind down a window and ask if they would like my help so I'm less vulnerable by remaing in the car.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

thelwell_girl said:



			To add to my previous comment, I am also quite small, so if anyone wanted to start a fight with me, you can probably bet I wouldnt win!
		
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T_G, but if your opponent was hampered by an upset horse would there actually be a fight? You see, I'd have run back to the car if the rider started trying to attack me whilst holding the horse!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Nope I can't see any reason for not offering help, I would have and have done so.
		
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Agree 100%....the OP drove off..her choice..it certainly wouldn't have been mine..nor would i have come on here bleating about it..


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## hannabanana (26 August 2010)

Come on guys its in the past, its a shame the horse was hurt and the rider shouldnt of been hitting it regardless if it was the first time she had ever lost her temper or if it was the usual daily routine. I mean everyone has been in that 'should I intervene' position, not just horse situations but other situations, last time I intervened with something I got a smack in the face lol! Maybe the girl did just need help with calming down or maybe she might of went nuts at the OP and brandished a knife...highly unlikely but with the amount of wierdos in this country it wouldnt suprise me!


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

If it had been a rider having geniune problems with a horse and the rider was in a approachable state I would stop to help but not to a mad woman


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## Echo Bravo (26 August 2010)

But you drove away


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			And the OP did diddley squat to help it...speaks volumes to me..stuff the OP'S feelings TBH...
		
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Well I wonder how likely I'd be to voice a concern in the future like the OP did?  Not very likely if I thought I was going to get slammed for it.

Am I missing something here???  It sounded to me like she was genuinely upset.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

hannabanana said:



			Come on guys its in the past, its a shame the horse was hurt and the rider shouldnt of been hitting it regardless if it was the first time she had ever lost her temper or if it was the usual daily routine. I mean everyone has been in that 'should I intervene' position, not just horse situations but other situations, last time I intervened with something I got a smack in the face lol! Maybe the girl did just need help with calming down or m*aybe she might of went nuts at the OP and brandished a knife*...highly unlikely but with the amount of wierdos in this country it wouldnt suprise me!
		
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Your imagination does you credit however really how many people do  you know who ride with any form of knife that is likely to be injurious?


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			If it had been a rider having geniune problems with a horse and the rider was in a approachable state I would stop to help but not to a mad woman
		
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Eh?

so what was your OP really about then?


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## xspiralx (26 August 2010)

Well I wonder how likely I'd be to voice a concern in the future like the OP did? Not very likely if I thought I was going to get slammed for it.

Am I missing something here??? It sounded to me like she was genuinely upset.
		
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But I don't understand why the OP needs support or sympathy?

OP made a judgement on the rider without offering to help, or knowing the first thing about the situation and what had led up to the rider's loss of temper. 

If she is so quick to condemn the rider without even bothering to find out the facts, she should be happy to be just as quickly judged on her own behaviour by the other posters.


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## SmartieBean09 (26 August 2010)

I have seen people beat horses before and I have voiced my opinions and told them what I thought...have even tried to help them and give advice.  These people dont want to listen.  The people who do want to listen and learn about horsemanship are the ones who love and respect horses and wouldnt do such a thing in the first instance.

Had OP have stopped and said something, would the rider never take out her anger on her horse again?...probably not!

We never know how we will react in certain situations until faced with that situation.  However, it is a fact that we would ALL act differently and should not be judged based on that!


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## china (26 August 2010)

do you know, im shocked at some of these reply, i rely am! some of you can be down right rude if im honest. do you not think the OP feels bad enough? hind sight is a funny thing! but alot more far worse things go on in this world! do you not think you'd be better off putting your efforts into getting something done about the real abuse in the horse world rather than a spoilt little brat that takes it out on their horse, and dont deny it, there are plenty of those about! yes i would have stoppped but it would have been to 
b011ock the girl for beating the **** out of her horse, doesnt matter what has happened there is absolutley no excuse for it! but if i felt that i could be putting myself in danger then i would have walked away.
OP. maybe pop into your local yards and speak to the YO's and describe the horse and rider, maybe they can have a quiet word with them.


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## gracey (26 August 2010)

well i wouldn't of stopped to help the "poor rider" .. i would of stopped to help the poor horse!! I don't care what the horse has/hasn't done, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way the op described ..i would of been more than tempted to to give her a taste of her own medicine!! 

eta ..china said it soo much better than me


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## HeatherJ (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			This lass is upset - what about the poor person who was having so much trouble with her horse, not only was this supposedly experienced person not prepared to help, but she sat like a lemon and watched and then wants to report to whoever, oh and of course to get the "Oh poor you how awful it must have been to witness it" on the forum.

Good grief!
		
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i'm sorry but from what i read in the op's post i never got the impression that the rider was 'having trouble' with the horse, sounds more like she fell off and had decided to batter lumps out of it when it had probably already forgotten what it had done to deserve that kind of treatment!


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## hannabanana (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Your imagination does you credit however really how many people do  you know who ride with any form of knife that is likely to be injurious?

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Hmm okay I dont know anyone who rides with a knife, you got me there  Maybe they could use a pocket hoofpick?? scoop there eyes out like a horror film??


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

xspiralx said:



			But I don't understand why the OP needs support or sympathy?

OP made a judgement on the rider without offering to help, or knowing the first thing about the situation and what had led up to the rider's loss of temper. 

If she is so quick to condemn the rider without even bothering to find out the facts, she should be happy to be just as quickly judged on her own behaviour by the other posters.
		
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Well Said


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Your imagination does you credit however really how many people do  you know who ride with any form of knife that is likely to be injurious?

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Perhaps rider was carrying a sword? She might've been a cossack! Or Zorro.


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## HeatherJ (26 August 2010)

gracey said:



			well i wouldn't of stopped to help the "poor rider" .. i would of stopped to help the poor horse!! I don't care what the horse has/hasn't done, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way the op described ..i would of been more than tempted to to give her a taste of her own medicine!! 

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agreed!


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## china (26 August 2010)

SmartieBean09 said:



			I have seen people beat horses before and I have voiced my opinions and told them what I thought...have even tried to help them and give advice.  These people dont want to listen.  The people who do want to listen and learn about horsemanship are the ones who love and respect horses and wouldnt do such a thing in the first instance.!
		
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this! you get it chucked back in your face.


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## alpha1 (26 August 2010)

SmartieBean09 said:



			We never know how we will react in certain situations until faced with that situation.  However, it is a fact that we would ALL act differently and should not be judged based on that!
		
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Well said!


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## JoJo_ (26 August 2010)

I think some of you are being very harsh! Some of us arent very good at confrontation. I hate it. If I was in the OP's position, I would probably decide against approaching someone who was being violent too! Plus i'm sure the OP didnt have time to think about all these things. I'm afraid I wouldnt be thinking "oh poor girl I must ask if she needs my advice". Also the way the OP described the beating suggests to me that this isnt the first time the girl has beaten her horse. A couple of smacks with the whip out of frustration maybe but not smacking the horse all over.


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

china said:



			do you know, im shocked at some of these reply, i rely am! some of you can be down right rude if im honest. do you not think the OP feels bad enough? hind sight is a funny thing! but alot more far worse things go on in this world! do you not think you'd be better off putting your efforts into getting something done about the real abuse in the horse world rather than a spoilt little brat that takes it out on their horse, and dont deny it, there are plenty of those about! yes i would have stoppped but it would have been to 
b011ock the girl for beating the **** out of her horse, doesnt matter what has happened there is absolutley no excuse for it! but if i felt that i could be putting myself in danger then i would have walked away.
OP. maybe pop into your local yards and speak to the YO's and describe the horse and rider, maybe they can have a quiet word with them.
		
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Thank you!  A reasonable person!


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## SmartieBean09 (26 August 2010)

china said:



			do you know, im shocked at some of these reply, i rely am! some of you can be down right rude if im honest. do you not think the OP feels bad enough? hind sight is a funny thing! but alot more far worse things go on in this world! do you not think you'd be better off putting your efforts into getting something done about the real abuse in the horse world rather than a spoilt little brat that takes it out on their horse, and dont deny it, there are plenty of those about! yes i would have stoppped but it would have been to 
b011ock the girl for beating the **** out of her horse, doesnt matter what has happened there is absolutley no excuse for it! but if i felt that i could be putting myself in danger then i would have walked away.
OP. maybe pop into your local yards and speak to the YO's and describe the horse and rider, maybe they can have a quiet word with them.
		
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^^^^agree^^^^


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

JoJo_ said:



			I think some of you are being very harsh! Some of us arent very good at confrontation. I hate it. If I was in the OP's position, I would probably decide against approaching someone who was being violent too! Plus i'm sure the OP didnt have time to think about all these things. I'm afraid I wouldnt be thinking "oh poor girl I must ask if she needs my advice". Also the way the OP described the beating suggests to me that this isnt the first time the girl has beaten her horse. A couple of smacks with the whip out of frustration maybe but not smacking the horse all over.
		
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Thank you too!!!


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## Pearlsasinger (26 August 2010)

Too late now, unfortunately, the time to do something about it was when you saw it happening.  Perhaps if you had turned your radio off and spoken to her you would have brought the obviously irate rider to her senses, staying in the car of course for your own safety.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

alpha1 said:



			Well said!
		
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i for one, certainly know how i would react TBH.

it wouldn't involve coming onto an internet website and exclaiming how inadequate i had been thats for sure.


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

gracey said:



			well i wouldn't of stopped to help the "poor rider" .. i would of stopped to help the poor horse!! I don't care what the horse has/hasn't done, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way the op described ..i would of been more than tempted to to give her a taste of her own medicine!! 

eta ..china said it soo much better than me 

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that's really fine, while you're sat by your computer. I don't believe anyone knows exactly what they'll do actually.

Talk is cheap.


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you didn't stop to help - nice!

I did stop when I saw a girl in trouble and sawing at a horse's mouth and whacking it. They were winding each other up right royally and it was going to end in disaster. It took a while to calm the girl down but in the end when she settled we got him(the horse) past the terrifying collection of wheelie bins that were clustered on either side of the road and she was SO pleased that someone had bothered to take the time. She was in tears at what she had done as she had totally lost it but she just didn't have the experience to deal with it.

But hey, never mind, you just go on your way wishing you had reported it to the authorities rather than done anything positive to help teach someone how to deal with an animal rather than beating it up.!
		
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more bitching-nice! noone can post on here any more without having a negative retort, dont try making her feel guilty, she probably would have had a mouthful and would make the OP feel worse.


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## Thelwell_Girl (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			T_G, but if your opponent was hampered by an upset horse would there actually be a fight? You see, I'd have run back to the car if the rider started trying to attack me whilst holding the horse!
		
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Yes, but I also have very small legs... I cant run very fast at all!


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## miss_bird (26 August 2010)

personally i would of stopped and offered to help.

What harm would it of done, the worst that could of happened would be the op had got a mouthful of abuse.

But it could of helped a horse and rider to cope in a suituation that was obviously beyond the riders control/temper/upset state


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

How many people were up in arms after watching Roberts horse "catwalk" treated the way it was??? Loads. But none tried to stop it did they? They sat and watch but came on here after to talk about what they had seen. It's no different. I came to share what I had seen and how I felt about it but until some off you are faced with it, you won't understand.


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			i for one, certainly know how i would react TBH.

it wouldn't involve coming onto an internet website and exclaiming how inadequate i had been thats for sure.
		
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so many "perfect" people on here- nothing like making the OPfeel great, have you all thought how it would be if she had stopped and got a mouthful for trying to help!!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			more bitching-nice! noone can post on here any more without having a negative retort, dont try making her feel guilty, she probably would have had a mouthful and would make the OP feel worse.
		
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the OP SHOULD feel guilty.

it is the same as standing by and seeing an animal beaten in a market, at a gymkhana, at a county show...or being even more emotive, tethered at the roadside...

i'm sorry, but if EVERYONE took the same action as the OP and drove on by, then God only can help equines in the UK 

As i posted before, i would have said something...and i will continue to say something.

The OP didnt do the right thing in this situation..and if ever she is confronted with a similar situation, her actions would be somewhat different


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			that's really fine, while you're sat by your computer. I don't believe anyone knows exactly what they'll do actually.

Talk is cheap.
		
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Actually some of us do - we've done it.


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			more bitching-nice! noone can post on here any more without having a negative retort, dont try making her feel guilty, she probably would have had a mouthful and would make the OP feel worse.
		
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Agreed. People are too quick to judge and jump to conclusions.  

Forums are great and fun to be a part of, but my goodness some of these threads don't half spiral out of control.  Not a nice atmosphere on this one, that's for sure.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			How many people were up in arms after watching Roberts horse "catwalk" treated the way it was??? Loads. But none tried to stop it did they? They sat and watch but came on here after to talk about what they had seen. It's no different. I came to share what I had seen and how I felt about it but until some off you are faced with it, you won't understand.
		
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I personally wasn't at that circus as i'm not remotely interested in that type of thing...but "if" i was, you can bet your last quid i would have said something


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

thelwell_girl said:



			Yes, but I also have very small legs... I cant run very fast at all!
		
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Ah, but can you run faster than someone trying to drag an upset horse behind them? If not the trick is to park the car nearer the action!


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			more bitching-nice! noone can post on here any more without having a negative retort, dont try making her feel guilty, she probably would have had a mouthful and would make the OP feel worse.
		
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Jemima_too is being bitchy??? YOU don't know what the rider's reaction would've been but you're slagging her off! Now THAT's bitchy. and the FACT is that the OP didn't stop, not EVEN to ask through the window of a moving car if the rider wanted help. I KNOW for a FACT that in such a position and for the sake of the HORSE I would've offered help. I would've risked a yelling at from someone on foot, especially from the safety of my car for the SAKE OF THE HORSE. Actually I would've done it for the rider as well because as so many have been so keen to point out in defence of the OP, anyone can make a wrong decision in the heat of the moment and I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.


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## alpha1 (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			i for one, certainly know how i would react TBH.

it wouldn't involve coming onto an internet website and exclaiming how inadequate i had been thats for sure.
		
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Im not sure what part of the discussion you agree/disagree with...is it because the OP didnt stop to help the horse, didnt stop to help the rider or just didnt stop in general?


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			How many people were up in arms after watching Roberts horse "catwalk" treated the way it was??? Loads. But none tried to stop it did they? They sat and watch but came on here after to talk about what they had seen. It's no different. I came to share what I had seen and how I felt about it but until some off you are faced with it, you won't understand.
		
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dont worry, you could have had a right earful from such a horrid person, dont take notice of these know-alls- its ok to nag and bitch on but would they do anything different in that situation??


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## SmartieBean09 (26 August 2010)

This thread is starting to get on my wobbly bits!

My god, some of you are down right bitches!

Any minute now someone is going to declare that they also would like world peace.


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## Pearlsasinger (26 August 2010)

My first reply was written before I had read the whole thread now I have.



Monsters said:



			What about the poor girl who was having the trouble with her horse,!!!!!!
 SHE WAS BEATING THE **** OUT OFF IT. No horse deserves that, if she had controlled her temper the horse would not have been running circles round her. This horse is probably beaten daily and lives his life in fear but oh never mind as long as the poor rider is ok hey.
What the hell are you on.
		
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So why didn't you do anything about it?

I really don't understand the point of your OP.


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## alpha1 (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			the OP SHOULD feel guilty.

it is the same as standing by and seeing an animal beaten in a market, at a gymkhana, at a county show...or being even more emotive, tethered at the roadside...

i'm sorry, but if EVERYONE took the same action as the OP and drove on by, then God only can help equines in the UK 

As i posted before, i would have said something...and i will continue to say something.

The OP didnt do the right thing in this situation..and if ever she is confronted with a similar situation, her actions would be somewhat different
		
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Sorry nativeponies, you answered my question before I wrote it!


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			Agreed. People are too quick to judge and jump to conclusions.
		
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Agreed; like the people who assume that the rider is an habitual horse-beater who would've sworn at the OP and chased her in her car with a suddenly cooperative horse that she was able effortlessly to vault onto brandishing a knife...
Jeeez.


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

thelwell_girl said:



			Yes, but I also have very small legs... I cant run very fast at all!
		
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Somehow I think you'd do a VERY good job of defending yourself


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## JoJo_ (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			I personally wasn't at that circus as i'm not remotely interested in that type of thing...but "if" i was, you can bet your last quid i would have said something
		
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As people have said, it is easy to say you would do something when your not in that situation. 

Like I said in my previous post, not everyone is the same. Perhaps nativeponies and jemima_too and all those other users who are having a go at the OP are more confident/brave/confrontational than others. I dont think you should have a go at the OP for that! 

It is the rider who was in the wrong - can we please remember that? There is no excuse for beating a horse!

Nativeponies - has this post just riled you? Or have you other issues with the OP for some other reason?


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## somethingorother (26 August 2010)

Skipped to the end. But why is everyone making up eleborate stories about this rider and what could have happened?? We don't know! We probably never will. What we do know from the OP is that she was beating her horse (as much as you ever know anything you see on a forum is true). there's no excuse for beating your horse as described. And i'm not sure if i would have got out of my car and offered to help. In fact. I'm sure i would be more likely to get out, take the whip off her, snap it in half over my knee and give her a mouthfull. Because i would be shocked and angry at what i saw, and the only object of my sympathy would be the horse. 

OP, don't feel bad, plenty of people on here would have done the same. You don't know until you're in that exact situation. We all like to think we would calmly help, but not many people could manage it. And it is risky to argue with a stranger when they're angry. 

I don't blame you at all. I hope that was just a moment where she lost it after a cruddy day, and that horse and rider are ok.


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## china (26 August 2010)

im sorry but if a person is in a mind state  to beat their horse with their schooling whip they wouldnt hesitate to wrap said schooling whip around your head if they are in such a temper. such a scenario would stop you taking the chance of ever offering help to some one again.  
at the end of the day, we all have different opinions on what we would have done but it cant be changed! end of! 
if it had been a large strapping chap beating their horse, would you have stopped? i know i wouldnt have! i maybe would have found out where they were stabled and let the whw or someone similar deal with it rather than putting myself at risk.


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## HappyHorses:) (26 August 2010)

I've skipped to the end after the first two pages so sorry if I'm repeating anyone.

Ok a friend of mine faced a similar situation about a year ago, girl beating her horse around the head with a schooling whip and yanking it in the mouth. She did stop and try to help calm the rider down. For this she got repeatedly sworn at, spat at, nearly trampled over by a spinning horse and then had her car slapped with the girls schooling whip. 

OP everyone is different, some would stop to advise, help, and some be to shocked to do so at the time. I wanted to post my friends story as a warning that sometimes 'help' is not always appreciated and if someone cannot control their anger then some people can feel intimidated by other peoples aggression. Try not to feel bad OP. No-one can do the right thing all the time no matter what they say. 

Some people on here are far too aggressive for my liking. It really isn't necessary.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

china said:



			im sorry but if a person is in a mind state  to beat their horse with their schooling whip they wouldnt hesitate to wrap said schooling whip around your head if they are in such a temper.
		
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One should use some sense - the schooling whip is in the hand of a person attached to a horse by the reins. So don't go within range. It's really not that difficult!


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

HappyHorses:) said:



			I've skipped to the end after the first two pages so sorry if I'm repeating anyone.

Ok a friend of mine faced a similar situation about a year ago, girl beating her horse around the head with a schooling whip and yanking it in the mouth. She did stop and try to help calm the rider down. For this she got repeatedly sworn at, spat at, nearly trampled over by a spinning horse and then had her car slapped with the girls schooling whip. 

OP everyone is different, some would stop to advise, help, and some be to shocked to do so at the time. I wanted to post my friends story as a warning that sometimes 'help' is not always appreciated and if someone cannot control their anger then some people can feel intimidated by other peoples aggression. Try not to feel bad OP. No-one can do the right thing all the time no matter what they say. 

Some people on here are far too aggressive for my liking. It really isn't necessary.
		
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I think OP bashing should be some kind of Olympic Sport.  Unfortunately it's one thing this country appears to be very good at .....


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## Jake10 (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			And you could have got out of your car and asked if she was ok and defused the situation by offering to help and showed her or told her how to get the results she needed but you just sat there. What the hell are you on?
		
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Not every one appreciates complete strangers sticking their nose in and offering 'advice' especially when they're already wound up. They wouldn't know if you actually new anything about horses and what would have happened if OP had helped and ended up getting kicked etc?

ETS - haven't read all the pages


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			dont worry, you could have had a right earful from such a horrid person, dont take notice of these know-alls- its ok to nag and bitch on but would they do anything different in that situation??
		
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rosie...exactly what would you do?...as little as the OP or would you have gone that extra centimetre and actually done something?


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			I think OP bashing should be some kind of Olympic Sport.  Unfortunately it's one thing this country appears to be very good at .....
		
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unlike helping horses in need.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			rosie...exactly what would you do?...as little as the OP or would you have gone that extra centimetre and actually done something?
		
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Of course there was another, safer, option for the OP. She could have driven to within shouting distance and said "If you don't get a hold of your temper and stop hitting that horse I shall take pictures and inform a the authorities. If you would like some help from me calm down and ask nicely". Then she merely had to retreat to a safe distance and wait for the outcome.


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Actually some of us do - we've done it.
		
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If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?


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## bryngelenponies (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Of course there was another, safer, option for the OP. She could have driven to within shouting distance and said "If you don't get a hold of your temper and stop hitting that horse I shall take pictures and inform a the authorities. If you would like some help from me calm down and ask nicely". Then she merely had to retreat to a safe distance and wait for the outcome.
		
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I think this would have been a good option and the option that I probably would have chosen had I been in that situation. At least then you can make a quick get away.


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			rosie...exactly what would you do?...as little as the OP or would you have gone that extra centimetre and actually done something?
		
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i would have shouted at the cow to stop- my objections on here are the way the OP has been roasted for not responding- as others have said, we arent all the same and maybe the OP felt nervous about confrontation--anything could have happened.


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## somethingorother (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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Or as they said in the old days (school days )

Do you want a chufty badge???


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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She doesn't need a medal, she is just taking hold of the situation.

something you aren't comfortable with, maybe?


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			dont worry, you could have had a right earful from such a horrid person, dont take notice of these know-alls- its ok to nag and bitch on but would they do anything different in that situation??
		
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I don't get it... it's wrong for people to judge the OP on her OWN action (or in fact lack of action) which she describes in her own words, but it's absolutely fine to assume the rider in question is an habitual horse-beater who would've attacked the OP had she intervened... ? Why don't you assume that the rider was just having a really rubbish day and made a massive error of judgement and that perhaps she WOULD have appreciated some help? You're so keen to overlook the OP's lack of judgement, but not the rider... and after all we only have the OP's word as to what exactly happened. Not exactly likely to be a balanced view, is it?


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## SmartieBean09 (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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pmsl!!!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			i would have shouted at the cow to stop- my objections on here are the way the OP has been roasted for not responding- as others have said, we arent all the same and maybe the OP felt nervous about confrontation--anything could have happened.
		
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The OP usually comes across as less than nervous TBH...


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## Kokopelli (26 August 2010)

Ok I'm getting sick of this now!

Yes the OP did nothing to help when she could of, but what is abusing her doing? Just making her more upset and probably more scared of confontation that she may feel even more threatened if that situation happened again!

Some people on here are being bullys! And verbal abuse is sometimes worse than physical, I think the OP now knows she should have done something, just leave her alone now you are not achieveing anything by having a go at her!!! Some people on here really get me annoyed, it seems that some people can't post anything without being abusive or horrible.

If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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I'll consider it


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			I don't get it... it's wrong for people to judge the OP on her OWN action (or in fact lack of action) which she describes in her own words, but it's absolutely fine to assume the rider in question is an habitual horse-beater who would've attacked the OP had she intervened... ? Why don't you assume that the rider wasn't just having a really rubbish day and made a massive error of judgement and that perhaps she WOULD have appreciated some help? You're so keen to overlook the OP's lack of judgement, but not the rider... and after all we only have the OP's word as to what exactly happened. Not exactly likely to be a balanced view, is it?
		
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nowt queer as folk, eh?


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## JoJo_ (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			One should use some sense - the schooling whip is in the hand of a person attached to a horse by the reins. So don't go within range. It's really not that difficult!
		
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Oh give it a rest! In situations like that people dont have all the time to think and analyse all that!!


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			The OP usually comes across as less than nervous TBH...
		
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sorry, i dont know her.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

JoJo_ said:



			Oh give it a rest! In situations like that people dont have all the time to think and analyse all that!!
		
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But they have time to sit and watch? No processing going on in the brain whilst that is happening? Oh well diff'rent strokes and all that!


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## thatsmygirl (26 August 2010)

Well hasn't this been interesting, I'm off to bed. 
By posting this I was interested in people views, how they would have reacted, got involved etc and to show how it made me feel. 
Some people are along the same lines as me and no if I saw the same again I wouldn't stop the same as if I saw a street fight. The look on this womans face was evil and I didn't know what she was capable off. A rider has geniune problems with a horse without the physio act and beatings I would feel at easy to help. 
Some off you talk quite well in front your computer and get quite bitchy but that's not face to face is it, hiding behind a screen. You lost your temper so easily about something which you didn't witness or see how brutal it was that it makes me wonder, is this your normal life with your horse? Losing your temper? Maybe it's second nature to you behaveing like that so that's why why would stop!!!!! Makes me wonder, 
anyway bed time oh and thanks rosiefenfalen ( spelt wrong I think) and many others for seeing it as it was and how you would feel in that situation and not losing your temper which many on here seem to do very easy and would probable get on great with the rider, you can bash away together. 
Night night


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

anyway, as others have said- lets give it all a rest- we all have differing opinions on this and its going nowhere.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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I considered it

No


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## Nathan-And-Hayke (26 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			I don't get it... it's wrong for people to judge the OP on her OWN action (or in fact lack of action) which she describes in her own words, but it's absolutely fine to assume the rider in question is an habitual horse-beater who would've attacked the OP had she intervened... ? Why don't you assume that the rider wasn't just having a really rubbish day and made a massive error of judgement and that perhaps she WOULD have appreciated some help? You're so keen to overlook the OP's lack of judgement, but not the rider... and after all we only have the OP's word as to what exactly happened. Not exactly likely to be a balanced view, is it?
		
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Thanks for talking sense!
A fair few years ago, I was riding a horse who was well schooled, been there done that kind of horse. However, he was also a pain in the backside! Every now an then he would nap violently, and one day he did it and threw the two of us into on-coming traffic.
It wasn't fear, or freshness, or lack of education, it was just something he did maybe once a month, and behaved perfectly the rest of the time.
I might get called abusive for this, but after I jumped off him (it was the only way to get him out of the road) and he tried to pull away from he (ended up dragging me along the verge, because there was no way I was letting go!) I shouted at him, growled and gave him maybe 2/3 good hard smacks, tugged on his bridle and forced him to stand.
Maybe it wasn't the 'right' thing to do, but I got on him and he carried on the hack as if nothing had happened, and these incidents became much less frequent.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

Kokopelli said:



			Doesn't save horses from a good smacking does it?
		
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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			i would have shouted at the cow to stop- my objections on here are the way the OP has been roasted for not responding- as others have said, we arent all the same and maybe the OP felt nervous about confrontation--anything could have happened.
		
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Absolutely agree!  Like I said before, this OP bashing is out of order.  If people all over the country can come to blows over such a subject via their flipping computers, then who can blame anyone for not wanting to confront an obviously livid person alone on a country lane?


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

Kokopelli said:



			If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all!
		
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Quite right; saying "Stop beating that horse or I'll call the police" isn't nice. Much better to shut up and drive away.
And yes it's much better not to point out the error of people's ways and let them carry on turning a blind eye in the face of what they claim to be blatant abuse than to risk offending them...


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			Well hasn't this been interesting, I'm off to bed. 
By posting this I was interested in people views, how they would have reacted, got involved etc and to show how it made me feel. 
Some people are along the same lines as me and no if I saw the same again I wouldn't stop the same as if I saw a street fight. The look on this womans face was evil and I didn't know what she was capable off. A rider has geniune problems with a horse without the physio act and beatings I would feel at easy to help. 
Some off you talk quite well in front your computer and get quite bitchy but that's not face to face is it, hiding behind a screen. You lost your temper so easily about something which you didn't witness or see how brutal it was that it makes me wonder, is this your normal life with your horse? Losing your temper? Maybe it's second nature to you behaveing like that so that's why why would stop!!!!! Makes me wonder, 
anyway bed time oh and thanks rosiefenfalen ( spelt wrong I think) and many others for seeing it as it was and how you would feel in that situation and not losing your temper which many on here seem to do very easy and would probable get on great with the rider, you can bash away together. 
Night night
		
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Night night

No loss of temper here I assure you!


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## pastie2 (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			Well hasn't this been interesting, I'm off to bed. 
By posting this I was interested in people views, how they would have reacted, got involved etc and to show how it made me feel. 
Some people are along the same lines as me and no if I saw the same again I wouldn't stop the same as if I saw a street fight. The look on this womans face was evil and I didn't know what she was capable off. A rider has geniune problems with a horse without the physio act and beatings I would feel at easy to help. 
Some off you talk quite well in front your computer and get quite bitchy but that's not face to face is it, hiding behind a screen. You lost your temper so easily about something which you didn't witness or see how brutal it was that it makes me wonder, is this your normal life with your horse? Losing your temper? Maybe it's second nature to you behaveing like that so that's why why would stop!!!!! Makes me wonder, 
anyway bed time oh and thanks rosiefenfalen ( spelt wrong I think) and many others for seeing it as it was and how you would feel in that situation and not losing your temper which many on here seem to do very easy and would probable get on great with the rider, you can bash away together. 
Night night
		
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So well said monsters! Sleep well. It doesnt take much on here to light the touch paper. lol.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

pastie2 said:



			So well said monsters! Sleep well. It doesnt take much on here to light the touch paper. lol.
		
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i wondered when the alter ego would appear...


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## typekitty (26 August 2010)

Fun watching this thread grow as I was reading it.

Just curious, what did you think OP could have done if she had of offered to help? What kind of verbal advice is there (would saying 'stop bashing your horse!' actually help?) and what, practically, could she have done? She was on her way home from work and I imagine not in horsey garb and probably not having anywhere to park. Offer to lead the horse back to the yard?

**DISCLAIMER: This isn't an opinion, just a question!


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## skewbald_again (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Of course there was another, safer, option for the OP. She could have driven to within shouting distance and said "If you don't get a hold of your temper and stop hitting that horse I shall take pictures and inform a the authorities. If you would like some help from me calm down and ask nicely". Then she merely had to retreat to a safe distance and wait for the outcome.
		
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or she could have quickly found a phone box and turned into wonder woman, or ooh ooh I know she could have really really quickly got in touch with like Katie Price or something and then a tv crew would have arrived ....

Or OR she could have pretended her dad was an astronaut ...


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## charleysummer (26 August 2010)

maybe we should stop trying to have a huge go at each other and just try and sort out what is the best thing to do now for the horse, and accept that for whatever reason, the OP was too much in shock/ maybe didnt feel it her place to comment- i think that finding out who the rider was and then finding their yard/parents and telling them in fine details what you saw would be a good idea- as by the sounds of things this girl was abusing her horse whilst thinking she was unseen, i'm sure she would be quite embarrased into treating her horse better if her friends/family found out what she'd been doing! or even have the horse taken off her, or maybe they would agree with her methods, (obv i dont know them)- just an idea, hopefully i won't get my head bitten off for it ... =/

ETA- and stop discussing what COULD have happened, and stick to what CAN happen now.. even if it is much more fun to have a good 'ol bitch attack


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

anything is better than driving off, dont you think?


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## Funkyfilly024 (26 August 2010)

Im not saying if its right or wrong, but its like having an argument - you can say all these things or act in the heat of the moment but then sit there afterwards and think "I really should have done/said this" Adrenaline/shock in the heat of the moment stops you seeing/thinking clearly.


Personally I think I would have asked if they wanted a hand. But have it been a 6ft + guy screaming with a 17hh horse with all feet flying everywhere my action might have been different, as quite an intimidating/potentially dangerous.

Maby the original post was just wanting to know what you would have done in that situation? No need to be rude though, just firm.

Hopefully next time OP will know what action they think appropriate, know they have thought about it.
Its nice to see some of you on here would would risk anything to help the horse - maby you can come talk to some of the travellers near my grandparents who exercise their horses on roundabouts


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			anything is better than driving off, dont you think?
		
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And so it goes on ...........


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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			i wondered when the alter ego would appear...

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oh come on,NP, give it a rest- what is past is past, please dont bring up all that **** again!!


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			And so it goes on ...........
		
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indeed it does...because the OP was gutless...and to come on here and winge about the bad behaviour of the rider...seems to me it has backfired TBH..

assuming its not a Jackanory?


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## xspiralx (26 August 2010)

typekitty said:



			Fun watching this thread grow as I was reading it.

Just curious, what did you think OP could have done if she had of offered to help? What kind of verbal advice is there (would saying 'stop bashing your horse!' actually help?) and what, practically, could she have done? She was on her way home from work and I imagine not in horsey garb and probably not having anywhere to park. Offer to lead the horse back to the yard?

**DISCLAIMER: This isn't an opinion, just a question!
		
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Offered to hold the horse while the rider takes 2 minutes to calm down, and then offer to give the rider a leg up so they could ride back to the yard.


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			Well hasn't this been interesting, I'm off to bed. 
By posting this I was interested in people views, how they would have reacted, got involved etc and to show how it made me feel. 
Some people are along the same lines as me and no if I saw the same again I wouldn't stop the same as if I saw a street fight.
		
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People beating themselves up; I'd call the police. Someone beating a horse; I'd step in. 




			The look on this womans face was evil and I didn't know what she was capable off. A rider has geniune problems with a horse without the physio act and beatings I would feel at easy to help. 
Some off you talk quite well in front your computer and get quite bitchy but that's not face to face is it, hiding behind a screen.
		
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I'd have told you exactly the same in person.




			You lost your temper so easily about something which you didn't witness or see how brutal it was that it makes me wonder, is this your normal life with your horse? Losing your temper? Maybe it's second nature to you behaveing like that so that's why why would stop!!!!! Makes me wonder,
		
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No loss of temper here. However, it's not just those who are AGAINST your actions that didn't witness the incident... the people defending you didn't either but you're not telling _them_ not to lose their temper, are you?
And isn't it an easy way to get out of a losing argument to hint that people who disagree with you abuse their horses as well...? You don't have any evidence of that either, but it's just soooo convenient and handily distracts the attention from YOU.
You don't get it; it's not that we APPROVE of the rider's actions but that we DISapprove of you ignoring the situation and driving on.



			Anyway bed time oh and thanks rosiefenfalen ( spelt wrong I think) and many others for seeing it as it was and how you would feel in that situation and not losing your temper which many on here seem to do very easy and would probable get on great with the rider, you can bash away together. 
Night night
		
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Cosy cosy cosy. That's my point; they DIDN'T see it how it was, did they? They just took YOUR word for it, just as you are hoping now that they'll latch onto your thinly-veiled and TOTALLY unfounded suggestions that WE abuse our horses.
What does THAT say about you???


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## pastie2 (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			i wondered when the alter ego would appear...

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Dont roll eyes, you seem to have had a good 2 nights of being unpleasant. I have just come onto this thread, just knew that you had to be on her case. Why dont you be brave and start a post, you never know you might find yourself in a position of being bullied. It is not a very nice experience.


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			indeed it does...because the OP was gutless...and to come on here and winge about the bad behaviour of the rider...seems to me it has backfired TBH..

assuming its not a Jackanory?
		
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You're probably a lovely person who I'd get on with like a house on fire in real life.  But you're also a stuck record .............


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## typekitty (26 August 2010)

xspiralx said:



			Offered to hold the horse while the rider takes 2 minutes to calm down, and then offer to give the rider a leg up so they could ride back to the yard.
		
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Fair enough!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

typekitty said:



			Fun watching this thread grow as I was reading it.

Just curious, what did you think OP could have done if she had of offered to help? What kind of verbal advice is there (would saying 'stop bashing your horse!' actually help?) and what, practically, could she have done? She was on her way home from work and I imagine not in horsey garb and probably not having anywhere to park. Offer to lead the horse back to the yard?

**DISCLAIMER: This isn't an opinion, just a question!
		
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How about, from a safe distance, "Woah, hang on a minute, I assume you want to get back on the thing and that doesn't seem to be achieving very much. Do you want to take a couple of minutes to calm down and then I'll hang on to him or give you a leg up so you can get back on?" Wait for rider to calm down sufficiently to answer, if it's a brisk eff off, then "OK but if you carry on like that I shall film you and report you to WHW / RSPCA or whoever, are you sure you don't want a hand?" if it's a calm answer or along the lines of "please can you help" then follow your instincts as to the best way to reunite horse and rider. Sure you need to say "OK so we achieved this result by calming down and not beating him up and don't you feel that it was out of order" but best to get horse and rider calm and reunited before delivering any lecture - or you wind the rider up again and the whole thing gets worse.

IMHO of course.


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## martlin (26 August 2010)

Lovely thread, I wish I wasn't always late for all the interesting goings on 
I think a simple action would be good: wind your window down and say 'Are you OK there? Do you need a hand?'
No matter what one thinks of the abusive rider, probably a non-confrontational approach like that would at least discharge the situation... the person would have a chance to snap out of their 'fury' or whatever and take stock, chances are, the horse would have calmed down as well.


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

pastie2 said:



			Dont roll eyes, you seem to have had a good 2 nights of being unpleasant. I have just come onto this thread, just knew that you had to be on her case. Why dont you be brave and start a post, you never know you might find yourself in a position of being bullied. It is not a very nice experience.
		
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Nativeponies has been bullied plenty on this forum  However, unlike other people you don't get her whining about how everybody is unfair and must be horse abusers because they don't agree with her...


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## YorksG (26 August 2010)

I am amazed that the OP stated that the rider must have been screaming at the horse as she could hear her over the radio. Surely anyone with any horse sense would have turned that off immediately! The rider had 'obviously' fallen off, was she injured? Head injuries frequently lead to out of charcter aggression, let us hope that is not the case here and that the rider did get home safely with the horse.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			You're probably a lovely person who I'd get on with like a house on fire in real life.  But you're also a stuck record .............
		
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and stuck records get things done...pm me if you really want to make a diffeence to the welfare of equines in the UK...ta


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

Oh bother, everyone else replied so much more concisely than me


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			If I actually give you your medal will you give it a rest?
		
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OK I've reconsidered, I've had my bath and I'm off to bed now. As I'm giving it a rest can I have my medal now pretty please?


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

pastie2 said:



			Dont roll eyes, you seem to have had a good 2 nights of being unpleasant. I have just come onto this thread, just knew that you had to be on her case. Why dont you be brave and start a post, you never know you might find yourself in a position of being bullied. It is not a very nice experience.
		
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start a thread about what?

i've never walked away from abuse...i never condone abuse..so...c'mon...what post should "i" make pastie2?...

bullying?...get a grip love.


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## brighthair (26 August 2010)

hindsight is a fantastic thing, but in a situation you never know how you will react. I drove past someone that I saw kicking a dog. Did I stop? No. I thought about it, I was in a rough area, it was a woman with 2 men and the woman yanked the dog up by the collar and kicked it in the stomach. I was on my way back from work and it was late at night and I decided not to stop. Did I feel bad after? Yes, but I couldn't report it as I didn't get a clear enough look at either the dog, or the people


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## pastie2 (26 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			Nativeponies has been bullied plenty on this forum  However, unlike other people you don't get her whining about how everybody is unfair and must be horse abusers because they don't agree with her...
		
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??????????


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## help1 (26 August 2010)

Don't post much but have been reading this and just wanted to say something. I think the approach by the OP is symptomatic of how people deal with these sort of situations full stop. No one seems to intervene in situations any more, people just seem to judge, walk away, even take pictures and then inform the authorities, rather than find out what has happened offer help or at least try to offer help. TBH I would rather try to offer help, be rebuffed or sworn at, than not intervene at all. 

I have intervened when I saw a woman belt her child on a train, you don't have to be confrontational just ask if they are ok and do they need any help. Some people wouldn't have offered the lady was very angry but in reality just very stressed and needed a bit of a break. 

It may be because I'm fairly ancient and out of touch (don't get me started on the amount of children's ponies clipped out in winter, overfed etc etc rather than bib clipped and ridden from grass!!) but its sad that we don't feel able to do this and those under pressure don't feel able to ask or take advice.


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## china (26 August 2010)

i cant believe you have all still badgered on about this since 7:30, you cant just say your opion once or twice, you have to do it a dozen times, making even more digs as you go.


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			and stuck records get things done...pm me if you really want to make a diffeence to the welfare of equines in the UK...ta
		
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I'll give it a miss but thanks for the offer.  I've contributed more than my fair share to horse welfare as it turns out.  Please be very careful not to judge.


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

china said:



			i cant believe you have all still badgered on about this since 7:30, you cant just say your opion once or twice, you have to do it a dozen times, making even more digs as you go.
		
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Much like yourself then with this latest post!


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## *hic* (26 August 2010)

Oh damn - I was supposed to be giving it a rest so that I got my medal. *wails*


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

mytwofriends said:



			I'll give it a miss but thanks for the offer.  I've contributed more than my fair share to horse welfare as it turns out.  Please be very careful not to judge.
		
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Ditto


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Oh damn - I was supposed to be giving it a rest so that I got my medal. *wails*
		
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lost that then haven't you...   tsk tsk


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## Sussexbythesea (26 August 2010)

Quite frankly the OP is more in danger of being metaphorically knifed by certain members of this forum - I'd rather take my chances with the horse beating mad woman. 

As one who has on more than one occasion got into trouble for not keeping my mouth shut when I see an injustice (and has suffered for it - at least emotionally from verbal abuse and threats)  I can say the OP has my sympathy - if she is like most of us she will no doubt have regrets about what she did or didn't do in the heat of the moment. Its a shame so many are so keen to stick the boot in at any opportunity.


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## china (26 August 2010)

i have said MY opinion once, but have watched on as you have all bleeted on digging away. i thought this forum had gone past the b1tch fest stage. apparantly not.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

i think the word is "bleated"?


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## pastie2 (26 August 2010)

sussexbythesea said:



			Quite frankly the OP is more in danger of being metaphorically knifed by certain members of this forum - I'd rather take my chances with the horse beating mad woman. 

That is so right, lol, even if she had a knife in each hand!
		
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## china (26 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			i think the word is "bleated"? 

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thank you for the correction


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## mytwofriends (26 August 2010)

china said:



			i have said MY opinion once, but have watched on as you have all bleeted on digging away. i thought this forum had gone past the b1tch fest stage. apparantly not.
		
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It's a shame isn't it?  As I said posts and posts ago, I'd definitely think twice about voicing a contentious opinion in future.  Rather than support and sensible suggestions, the daggers come straight out.  We are all different individuals, but we all have horses in common.  Debate is good - downright rudeness is pathetic.


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## nativetyponies (26 August 2010)

pastie2 said:





sussexbythesea said:



			Quite frankly the OP is more in danger of being metaphorically knifed by certain members of this forum - I'd rather take my chances with the horse beating mad woman. 

That is so right, lol, even if she had a knife in each hand!
		
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Blimey, a few had better delete their accounts...PMSL how melodramatic..all over an OP who couldn't stand up to her OP..assuming it wasn't a Jackanory, bless her.
		
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## rosie fronfelen (26 August 2010)

sussexbythesea said:



			Quite frankly the OP is more in danger of being metaphorically knifed by certain members of this forum - I'd rather take my chances with the horse beating mad woman. 

As one who has on more than one occasion got into trouble for not keeping my mouth shut when I see an injustice (and has suffered for it - at least emotionally from verbal abuse and threats)  I can say the OP has my sympathy - if she is like most of us she will no doubt have regrets about what she did or didn't do in the heat of the moment. Its a shame so many are so keen to stick the boot in at any opportunity.
		
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i quite agree-and ive been in similar situations on here as you, its not worth the grief!!


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## gemin1eye (26 August 2010)

Driving past the horse and rider with your radio on can't have helped matters with the rider.

I can't speak for the rider as I obviously don't know her and wouldn't beat a horse with a whip, but when I'm being a bit naughty/bitchy at work and someone confronts me about my behaviour it usually shocks me into thinking about what I'm doing - perhaps the rider just lost it and if the OP had been brave enough to offer help she'd have calmed down and thought about her actions. We'll never know I suppose.


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## FestiveBoomBoom (26 August 2010)

hannabanana said:



			Maybe the girl did just need help with calming down or maybe she might of went nuts at the OP and brandished a knife...
		
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jemima_too said:



			Your imagination does you credit however really how many people do  you know who ride with any form of knife that is likely to be injurious?

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Ah this really made me laugh 

I think I would have def stopped and prob the worst that would have happened was being told to F off or something equally as charming!


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## Songbird (26 August 2010)

my first thought when reading this was how rude of people to say Monster should have stopped said something to the person , but i see now that the criticism is that Monster should have stopped & helped & i agree!

the person with horse was probably shaken & scared & a friendly face would have stopped the immediate beating & probably the next one too!. i smacked my horse once & quite sharply when she tried to spin in the road & canter off & it was because it scared me - i certainly only did it once & as a very quick reaction to her behaviour i did not repeatedly smack her - this lady sounds like she was having an irrational moment & you could have bought some calm to that - just by your very presence! i'm a novice rider & if it wasnt for people like jemima too no one would have horses at all - i also know people that have had horses for years & been doing it wrong for that long too - next time dont make sure they DONT see you
make sure they DO see you!! cos either way she'll think twice in the future!  x


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## Songbird (26 August 2010)

None of us know what you were thinking at the time & none of us know what the bint beating the horse was thinking so..................



 make it different all round if...god forbid... there is a next time xx


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## FestiveBoomBoom (26 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			Agreed; like the people who assume that the rider is an habitual horse-beater who would've sworn at the OP and chased her in her car with a suddenly cooperative horse that she was able effortlessly to vault onto brandishing a knife...
Jeeez.
		
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## Sarah Sum1 (26 August 2010)

How on earth do you 'help' someone who is beating and giving their horse a right good rollicking?! 



OP I too would have been uspet, I also would not have stopped. Knowing me I may have yelled something out the window, but that wouldn't help the situation one bit.


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## PapaFrita (26 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			i quite agree-and ive been in similar situations on here as you, its not worth the grief!!
		
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Let me just check I've got this right; you're saying it's not worth taking the chance of getting yelled at/insulted to save a horse from what is allegedly a vicious beating? Not even from the safety of a moving vehicle?
I'm astounded.


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## prosefullstop (26 August 2010)

SmartieBean09 said:



			These people dont want to listen.  The people who do want to listen and learn about horsemanship are the ones who love and respect horses and wouldnt do such a thing in the first instance
		
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I can't agree with this enough. My husband calls me "snappy turtle" for a good reason, but I have never once taken out my fast temper on a horse or dog. There is such a thing as gritting your teeth, taking a breath, and moving on. 

A few years ago I witnessed a major argument at the dog park, involving two dog owners, one of whom had just thumped his Viszla pup across the head for humping another dog. While the person intervening tried to explain that this style of discipline was only likely to make the dog aggressive, the Viszla owner got the hump, and declared he knew best (of course) before storming off.


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## QUICKFIRE (26 August 2010)

On the way out this afternoon I ran a fluffy bunny over, it was awful, it went bump bump, and it was like the car was going over a speed hump.

Now the weirdest thing was on the way back about an hour later the body had gone, now where do you think it went? I was going to bury it, but I think it may be in somones freezer, do you think I should inform the police?


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## B_2_B (26 August 2010)

This thread is ridiculous!
There are some of you on here that I've rarely, if ever, seen post anything nice or supportive, just seem to want to wind people up and be horrible! 

No wonder so many of us stay in SB and are scared to come in here most of the time 

OP, I'm not sure I would have stopped. I'm with the people who say none of us know unless we are in the situation!
Please don't feel guilty about it, and ignore the people who are being so unnecessarily nasty!


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## laurenn1010 (26 August 2010)

wow im afraid to reply incase i get jumped on too lol there seems to be a few nasty grumpy/crabby ol men/women on ere!

is ther an issue between the nasty folk and the origional poster??? i rarely be on here but thats the way it seems! 

:-O


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## michelleice (26 August 2010)

Christ were all spending to much time on here if were all synchronizing with our PMT


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## Songbird (26 August 2010)

*** 

and then there was calm


                           ****


David Attenborough.


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

I'll keep this brief.

I have never beaten a horse but I have intervened a fair few times. I've taken crops off people and snapped them in half. I will speak up.

However, I know that one person's 'beating the ****' is another person's give it a smack. I was once called over to a school because 'the rider was beating seven shades out of their horse' - the culprit was a 5 year old child with a handy bat, smacking her pony every time it went to eat grass, as had she got into a tug of war she would have been pulled over his neck. Yes grass reins were the solution but as an immediate fix, was it really 'beating seven shades'? Do I tend to be a little wary of other people's potential over reactions.

Had I been in the car I would have stopped. I know because I have stopped to assist riders having problems before. If I was slightly suspicious I might stay in the car and offer to call her yard etc. On one occasion I drove behind a horse all the way to her yard as cars kept whizzing up behind and freaking the horse out for example. There is no way I would have driven on. 

As for 'work clothes' how lame. I once caught a loose horse in a pencil skirt and heels.

If the rider was genuinely abusing the horse I would have been non confontational and got the pair back to the yard before saying anything. I've seen people fall off for the first time and it can scare the poop out of them. not an excuse but a reason. It is also damn scary being off a horse, with no control (bits are not typically designed to be effective from the ground) and a scared / naughty horse will pull. I will not $&@) around with half a ton of horse flesh in oncoming traffic. If I need to smack it on the butt to get it over to the verge I will.

The person who said 'you don't think quick enough to be logical in a crisis' well, all I can say is I wouldn't want you around in an emergency. There are plenty of us who can react quickly (like emergency service staff for example) and logically, and evaluate our own safety first and foremost.  

I can see things from a numberof points of view. Without knowing more that's all I can say.


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## Munchkin (27 August 2010)

QUICKFIRE said:



			On the way out this afternoon I ran a fluffy bunny over, it was awful, it went bump bump, and it was like the car was going over a speed hump.
		
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We've lost a HHO user, then?


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## martlin (27 August 2010)

munchkin said:



			we've lost a hho user, then? 

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pmsl!:d:d:d


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## redcascade (27 August 2010)

Yes, I would have stopped and asked if the rider wanted a hand with her horse.
I have a 17hh horse and he was severely napping, to the point of dangerous, I got off cos he was scaring me. I eventually led him past what he was scared of whilst several cars past me in a notoriously horsey area, said horse had grown to about 18hh when I came to get back on, I struggle at the best of times to get on the blumin thing with having short legs and all, would I have loved someone to stop and offer me a hand? Yes I would, I was upset and crying, I eventually got back on and then had to ring my sick mum to walk us back to the yard  No one stopped to help me and I couldn't get over it, you lose faith.
As for all the assumptions about the rider, you don't know them, how can you possibly say stuff about stabbing etc? Offer help and if they don't want it advise them on how they should treat the horse, yes, they might not appreciate it but it will make them stop and think, maybe just long enough to calm down or distract them!
Yes, OP should've offered help, not for the rider but for the horse, but, as others have said hindsight is a marvellous thing. At least the OP will know for next time and may act differently, I for one wouldn't have sat and watched whilst all this was going on.
Sorry for bit of a rant but my feelings


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## Dolcé (27 August 2010)

I have stopped to offer help on several occasions to riders who looked like they were struggling, always on main roads admittedly, usually with traffic problems and never one that was being beaten and have never been abused in any way, it was either 'yes please' or 'no thanks, Im ok'.  I would imagine that had OP been brave enough to call out then she would have distracted the rider enough to stop the beating and hopefully shamed the rider into thinking about what she was doing.  I am afraid I wouldn't have even stopped to think and would have gone in all guns blazing for the sake of the horse, and then asked if she needed help, but then I have flown in between 2 huge drunk blokes fighting over a woman and stopped it (again stupidly, without thinking about the risk to myself).  I suppose being feisty helps!

As has already been said, hindsight is a wonderful thing, but to watch any sort of cruelty, be it animal or human, and not do something, is just awful IMHO.  I can understand why this has become heated, because people who are gutsy and will stand up and be counted just cannot see how anyone else can just watch and do nothing because they are too scared of the repercussions.  I suppose the gutsy ones are passionate about protecting the innocents and brave enough to see it through.  
Let's hope that lessons have been learnt and people will behave differently in that sort of situation in the future.


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## baymareb (27 August 2010)

typekitty said:



			Fun watching this thread grow as I was reading it.

Just curious, what did you think OP could have done if she had of offered to help? What kind of verbal advice is there (would saying 'stop bashing your horse!' actually help?) and what, practically, could she have done? She was on her way home from work and I imagine not in horsey garb and probably not having anywhere to park. Offer to lead the horse back to the yard?

**DISCLAIMER: This isn't an opinion, just a question!
		
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I've been in this situation actually - not on the road but in the yard when I came across someone doing something similar.  

I stopped and asked, "Are you all right?"  She was angry and red-faced and had evidently fallen and the horse was being pushy and obnoxious and she was at the end of her tether.

So she told me he was being difficult and I said I could see that and "... how about I hold on to him a minute while you both calm down a bit."

And yes, that worked well.  I spoke sympathetically to her rather than in a accusing tone.  I could see she was having a bad time of it with him.  While I held him, I just led him around a bit and told her I knew she was upset and didn't blame her but really he didn't understand at this point why he was being hit and she sheepishly agreed.  She was just wound up.

They both calmed down, she walked the horse to his stall and I've seen her many times since.  She's a good rider and a responsible horse owner.  She just had a bad day.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

Munchkin said:



			We've lost a HHO user, then? 

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nasty quote, it is an animal for gods sake, no matter how small. i'd be gutted too- and dont say it was a joke- that comment is wearing thin on here!


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## Kenzo (27 August 2010)

Last time I saw something terrible (small girl ill treating her own dog) I stopped in my car and told her ...basically said ''where do you live because if I see you treating that dog like that again I'll be telling your parents, you shouldn't be in charge of a dog if your doing things like that etc etc''

Few months later her mother rolls up in the petrol station while I'm filling my car and I get a mouth full of her mother and told to mind my own business and her daughter never did anything of the sort. 

You try and say something and then your made to feel like the baddy.

Poor horse, god knows what else she does with it behind closed doors.


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			nasty quote, it is an animal for gods sake, no matter how small. i'd be gutted too- and dont say it was a joke- that comment is wearing thin on here!
		
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Omg, it was obviously meant as a joke! Even i laughed out loud at it, dont take it so seriously....


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## squiz22 (27 August 2010)

Jesus guys - give the girl a break. We all act differently when we are in shock and we all have different levels of confidence. 

I'd say next time any of us witness something like whats been described the chances are we'd all react.. 

Jemimia and native pony member - lets hope that next we have a problem your both around to save a day. Theres giving constructive criticism to someone and saying to disagree with their actions but then theres just being rude. 

The point of this fourm is to discuss/lend support and talk with likeminded people.. not to be had a go at. This sounds like a case of internet bravado to me.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

PapaFrita said:



			Let me just check I've got this right; you're saying it's not worth taking the chance of getting yelled at/insulted to save a horse from what is allegedly a vicious beating? Not even from the safety of a moving vehicle?
I'm astounded.
my quote was to Sussexbythe sea!!! so get your facts right- also i wouldnt be driving in the first place!!
		
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## S_Farrah (27 August 2010)

Songbird said:



			*** 

and then there was calm


                           ****


David Attenborough.
		
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......or not


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## Andrea83 (27 August 2010)

That poor horse that is so awful....its so hard to find the line between discipline and outrageous beating behaviour....But shock does some terrible things to people and we don't know what had happened to her....But I do hate any animal violence and beating any horse is terrible....

Let's hope they made friends when they got back to the stable....

xoxox


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## Amymay (27 August 2010)

Ooo not nice.

Couldn't possibliy have driven past and not done something, helped in some way.

As you say - poor horse


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## Sarah Sum1 (27 August 2010)

It's back to school for the kiddies next week!


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

JadeyyAndLadyy said:



			Omg, it was obviously meant as a joke! Even i laughed out loud at it, dont take it so seriously....
		
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did the OP think it a joke?


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## S_Farrah (27 August 2010)

sarahsum1 said:



			It's back to school for the kiddies next week! 

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## niagaraduval (27 August 2010)

I went to a show once when I was young, I was probably about 12 years old at the time. I saw a horse who was spurred so much it had big red open wounds on each side, ofcourse when the rider was on it wasn't visible but when she got off it was all that could be seen. The horse was a beautiful grey. I went over to see the horse and look at it (although I admit it was stupid as I was so young) and got told to F* the hell off and mind my own business and buy my own horse. I thought about that horse several times, I did just that I walked away.
I think it's wrong to jump on the OP because she didn't stop, and if driving alone I wouldn't have stopped either TBH.. 
I understand how she can feel so bad about it though, although being nasty and sarcastic isn't going to help.. 
She made a choice at the moment to keep out of it she now should just accept it rather than beating herself up over it, everyone makes mistakes..


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## niagaraduval (27 August 2010)

sarahsum1 said:



			How on earth do you 'help' someone who is beating and giving their horse a right good rollicking?! 



OP I too would have been uspet, I also would not have stopped. Knowing me I may have yelled something out the window, but that wouldn't help the situation one bit.
		
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Can totally relate to this..


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## nomad (27 August 2010)

i havent read all the posts but just wanted to say i was in a simialar position yesterday but i didnt beat the horse!!my young lad bucked me off in the road.i landed on my left foot and immediatly knew i had broken something!!!i had to lead horse 3 miles home as i couldnt put weight on it to get back on.phone got broken so i limped and leaned on the boy to get home.not 1 driver stopped to ask if i needed assitance infact just got glared at for being in the way!i would have loved someone to have helped me out


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## Paddydou (27 August 2010)

Hi Monsters 

I am sorry you have had an ear bashing. Seems to be rife at the moment. I have stood back and felt horrible for doing so and I have also stepped up and faced the not terribly plesant consequences of doing so. its horrible to watch something like that no matter what you do. Lets just hope that it was a one off. 

I lost it with one of my shetlands and ended up throwing a fence post at him. I then realised how "over the top" I was and how angry I was walked away cried then started repairing the fence (again) and sorting out the other shetland (who had been pushed into the electric fence by the other one and got tangled in it). God I was mad and God I feel terrible about it even now several months on. 

Lets just hope this other person calmed down. 

Don't let it get to you.


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

nomad said:



			i havent read all the posts but just wanted to say i was in a simialar position yesterday but i didnt beat the horse!!my young lad bucked me off in the road.i landed on my left foot and immediatly knew i had broken something!!!i had to lead horse 3 miles home as i couldnt put weight on it to get back on.phone got broken so i limped and leaned on the boy to get home.not 1 driver stopped to ask if i needed assitance infact just got glared at for being in the way!i would have loved someone to have helped me out
		
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Poor you. This is one of my absolute nightmares hacking out.


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## Kenzo (27 August 2010)

Can't understand why people are getting worked up about this.

The OP obviously is upset by what she saw, but was shocked at the time like many people would be, some people are brave enough to let rip at people and step in, others are not, and she was driving, she's come on here for advice as to what to do next not be shot down for not acting straight away and it might not of been the best course of action to stop in at the time.

OP - Can you not find out where this lady with the horse lives, write a letter and say your going to report her etc etc?, at least this way it will make her think twice before she loose her temper with the horse.


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			did the OP think it a joke?
		
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Ask them yourself.


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

emma69 said:



			As for 'work clothes' how lame. I once caught a loose horse in a pencil skirt and heels.
		
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Worth seeing, but surely much easier as the horse must have found it hard to get away from you dressed like that?


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## Maesfen (27 August 2010)

miss_bird said:



			personally i would of stopped and offered to help.

What harm would it of done, the worst that could of happened would be the op had got a mouthful of abuse.

But it could of helped a horse and rider to cope in a suituation that was obviously beyond the riders control/temper/upset state
		
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Exactly, words are never going to hurt you are they? 



rosiefronfelen said:



			so many "perfect" people on here- nothing like making the OPfeel great, have you all thought how it would be if she had stopped and got a mouthful for trying to help!!
		
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What's so wrong of being on the wrong end of an ear bashing, it doesn't exactly cause any harm to you except for a wounded pride?  It might just  have stopped the actual horse bashing at least for a while and the rider might have cooled down a bit afterwards.  Anything to help the poor horse should surely have been done as long as it didn't endanger the OP.

Just remember this in future, *sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me*


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			Exactly, words are never going to hurt you are they? 





Just remember this in future, *sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me*

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As an aside, that is absolute bo££ocks if I may say so, and shows a total lack of understanding of how much harm verbal and psychological abuse can do.

Not saying in this case, necessarily, but that is the daftest bit of doggerel ever made up.

You might like to remember this in future also


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## Sarah Sum1 (27 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			Exactly, words are never going to hurt you are they? 



What's so wrong of being on the wrong end of an ear bashing, it doesn't exactly cause any harm to you except for a wounded pride?  It might just  have stopped the actual horse bashing at least for a while and the rider might have cooled down a bit afterwards.  Anything to help the poor horse should surely have been done as long as it didn't endanger the OP.

Just remember this in future, *sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me*

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That is not exactly true though is it? You  have quoted a childrens saying, which with all due respect is a load of tosh. People ARE effected by other peoples words. Verbal abuse is real. Yelling at each other in front of the horse would not have done anything. Probably would have resulted in the horse getting a further beating for showing her up!

And that also goes for the ear bashing people recieve on here! uncalled for.


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## Maesfen (27 August 2010)

Crikey, don't you ever think of growing a thick skin to protect yourselves?   
They're only words, they don't actually, physically harm you and the sooner some people grow up and grow a pair of B**** the better for them unless they want to remain wimps for the rest of their life of course in which case, don't come running on here about how upset they are at seeing something like this and didn't do anything to help the horse.


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			Crikey, don't you ever think of growing a thick skin to protect yourselves?   
They're only words, they don't actually, physically harm you and the sooner some people grow up and grow a pair of B**** the better for them unless they want to remain wimps for the rest of their life of course in which case, don't come running on here about how upset they are at seeing something like this and didn't do anything to help the horse.
		
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Because? 

Can we just have name and contact for the poor devil who died and left you in charge? I'd like to send flowers


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## Paddydou (27 August 2010)

Ditto that words CAN hurt but also wanted to add that on one of the occasions where I did step in I came out of it with bruising both to body and pride (that I couldn't punch back as hard... in fact I was a bit wet and didn't punch at all).

I don't think there is any right or wrong. At the end of the day if you can live with yourself and your actions either online or not that is all that will matter to you. 

Just remember when you are "cyber bashing" that there are real live human beings on the other end. If you wouldn't say something to them when they are standing in front of you then don't say it on a forum.

Maesfen I suspect that you still have a lot to learn about the human condition and the luck to have many years to learn it in.


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## Sarah Sum1 (27 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			Crikey, don't you ever think of growing a thick skin to protect yourselves?   
They're only words, they don't actually, physically harm you and the sooner some people grow up and grow a pair of B**** the better for them unless they want to remain wimps for the rest of their life of course in which case, don't come running on here about how upset they are at seeing something like this and didn't do anything to help the horse.
		
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You have to respect that not everyone will think the same as you do. It's great that you can knock comments away. But people that maybe have suffered from verbal abuse in their past will not be able to do that so easily. I think unless you can appreciate that not everyone reacts to things the same way, it will be hard to see why people act in certain ways. 

But fair do's, each to their own. I just think understanding goes further than unhelpful comments.

If you could maybe explain how shouting at horse owner would have changed the situation then maybe we could understand where you are coming from? Bearing in mind, taking the horse from the woman would be the only way to prevent future beatings.


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

wow! didnt realise this was a post to critisize someone who saw something horrible! some people have the courage to do something, others dont, and then some wish they did but couldnt at the time!

i would hate to witness anything like that, me being me i would have to do somethin about it, but not everyone is like that! i think everyones done something and wishes they had acted differently at least once.

recently witnessed someone having an epileptic fit and guess what everyone did! they stood there and watched! sometimes people make the wrong decision or dont act straight away, no need to bite eachothers heads off!! :S


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

Maesfen said:



			Exactly, words are never going to hurt you are they? 



What's so wrong of being on the wrong end of an ear bashing, it doesn't exactly cause any harm to you except for a wounded pride?  It might just  have stopped the actual horse bashing at least for a while and the rider might have cooled down a bit afterwards.  Anything to help the poor horse should surely have been done as long as it didn't endanger the OP.

Just remember this in future, *sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me*

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----but words CAN be very hurtful!!!


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## Amymay (27 August 2010)

but words CAN be very hurtful!!!
		
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Of course they can - we would all agree.

But in this instance??  Really people get a grip.

If we all went through life afraid of what someone was going to say to us when confronted how would we survive??

If I'm brutely honest, I actually think it's appalling that the OP said nothing - verbal abuse or no.


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## Amymay (27 August 2010)

sorry, posted twice for some reason.


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## Sarah Sum1 (27 August 2010)

amymay said:



			Of course they can - we would all agree.

But in this instance??  Really people get a grip.

If we all went through life afraid of what someone was going to say to us when confronted how would we survive??

If I'm brutely honest, I actually think it's appalling that the OP said nothing - verbal abuse or no.
		
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But I don't understand how saying anything would have helped the horse? If it's just to make a point that you disagree with her actions, then what is the point of winding her up more?

ETA I may well have shouted something out the window, but I can see that would do no good.


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## Amymay (27 August 2010)

sarahsum1 said:



			But I don't understand how saying anything would have helped the horse? If it's just to make a point that you disagree with her actions, then what is the point of winding her up more?

ETA I may well have shouted something out the window, but I can see that would do no good.
		
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Ok, Sarah - so what you're saying is that if you see someone abusing an animal it's better _not_ to say something - but just pass on bye, for fear of winding them up more?

Stoping and saying something means that the actions of the 'abuser' are momentarily halted whilst they respond.  It may just be enough to end the behaviour at that immediate time.


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

sarahsum1 said:



			But I don't understand how saying anything would have helped the horse? If it's just to make a point that you disagree with her actions, then what is the point of winding her up more?

ETA I may well have shouted something out the window, but I can see that would do no good.
		
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You see what I don't understand is why anyone thinks there was any need for shouting. I'd just have gone towards her and asked if she was having trouble and wanted a hand, no need to shout at all.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

amymay said:



			sorry, posted twice for some reason.
		
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well, for personal reasons i am not one for taking cruel words easily, i have dished them out in the past big time, but times change-


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## Pearlsasinger (27 August 2010)

Paddydou said:



			Just remember when you are "cyber bashing" that there are real live human beings on the other end. If you wouldn't say something to them when they are standing in front of you then don't say it on a forum.

Maesfen I suspect that you still have a lot to learn about the human condition and the luck to have many years to learn it in.
		
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Sorry this really made me laugh!
I was just wondering whether to bother posting that it seems to me that the majority of people who have said that they would/have intervened are the older more experienced members and that might be why we DO have the confidence to say something and follow it through.  
Having said that although I know that Monsters can hardly be called 'middle-aged' she has certainly come across on here before as willing to tell it like it is.  Perhaps it is different when she is in a face-to-face situation.
Can I suggest that new members find out a bit about people they are replying directly to - it's not very difficult.


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

and in any case, in an ideal world, whatever, but people ARE scared to take people on, people ARE scared of teenagers in gangs, even if they are harmless, people ARE scared of spiders, even though in this country they're almost definitley harmless.

It's ridiculous to come on here and beat someone up who already regrets not having had the courage to act, and asks what on earth she can do now.

I suspect all this 'get a grip' and 'man up' nonsense is coming mainly from youngsters who have not had time to be knocked around enough to think twice before leaping in where angels fear to tread. The idealism of youth is fine thing. The wisdom of age has a lot going for it too. Not that you'll believe that part for a few years yet.


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

at least the posts are getting constructive again XD

AMYMAY- true, if we can each confront someone who does something horrible to horses then soo many horses could be treated better! and so many shows could be more enjoyable without having to watch people be horrible to their horses 

but then maybe next time the OP will be able to pluck up the courage to say something, it must be pretty horrible having to see someone being so horrible and a shock the first time you see it.

KENZO- good idea! if they are hacking in the area then they are probably at a local yard


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## SplashofSoy (27 August 2010)

Its difficult to know how to react in situations like these and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

If I had been driving alone as OP and not appropriate dressed I would probably have stopped and from the safety of my car asked if i could call someone for her to come and help etc rather than help myself.  If horse is upset it could potentially be dangerous to handle and you could end up hurt if not wearing hat/gloves/boots etc.  

I was not there so dont know if this was the case but no matter how upsetting you must put your safety first but offer help if it is safe to do so.


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## Amymay (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			You see what I don't understand is why anyone thinks there was any need for shouting. I'd just have gone towards her and asked if she was having trouble and wanted a hand, no need to shout at all.
		
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Exactly.


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## Sarah Sum1 (27 August 2010)

Fair do's.


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## Paddydou (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			You see what I don't understand is why anyone thinks there was any need for shouting. I'd just have gone towards her and asked if she was having trouble and wanted a hand, no need to shout at all.
		
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Well I am glad to hear that you are able to live life as a saint...

For what its worth thats what I said when I was lumped... You never can tell you really can't. 

You also do not ever know what you will do. 

There have been several occasions when I have not stepped up when I wish I had for whatever reason and there have been several when I wish I had stayed down. Each situation is different. For crying out loud I once stood to one side while a kid was struggling in a swimming pool because I had my period. It took a few extra seconds for someone else to jump in and the kid was fine but seriously was that a good enough "excuse" for not doing something quicker?

I have also stood up when no one else would to help people I have sometimes been thanked and sometimes been hounded. You just never know when you go into a situation what will happen next.


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## martlin (27 August 2010)

It's quite fascinating how a woman having a tantrum with her horse on a road has managed to turn into a knife brandishing, fire breathing potential killer in a matter of 200 odd posts...
From some of the responses here and safety measures suggested I wonder how many of you are brave enough to walk out of your front doors on daily basis
Honestly, you don't need to throw yourself in a danger's way, as I said before, just wind your window down and ask if the woman is OK and if she needs any help - it's not difficult, it's not dangerous and more likely than not it would diffuse the situation enough for all parties to regain their senses.


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

Paddydou said:



			Well I am glad to hear that you are able to live life as a saint...

For what its worth thats what I said when I was lumped... You never can tell you really can't. 

You also do not ever know what you will do. 

There have been several occasions when I have not stepped up when I wish I had for whatever reason and there have been several when I wish I had stayed down. Each situation is different. For crying out loud I once stood to one side while a kid was struggling in a swimming pool because I had my period. It took a few extra seconds for someone else to jump in and the kid was fine but seriously was that a good enough "excuse" for not doing something quicker?

I have also stood up when no one else would to help people I have sometimes been thanked and sometimes been hounded. You just never know when you go into a situation what will happen next.
		
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pretty much sums it up! noones perfect!


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## Paddydou (27 August 2010)

Pearlsasinger said:





Sorry this really made me laugh!
I was just wondering whether to bother posting that it seems to me that the majority of people who have said that they would/have intervened are the older more experienced members and that might be why we DO have the confidence to say something and follow it through.  
Having said that although I know that Monsters can hardly be called 'middle-aged' she has certainly come across on here before as willing to tell it like it is.  Perhaps it is different when she is in a face-to-face situation.
Can I suggest that new members find out a bit about people they are replying directly to - it's not very difficult.
		
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Lets hope that I have inadvertantly complimented her then! 

Sadly I don't tend to stalk people either in reality or cyber space so I am afriad I have to wing it a bit rather than delve into the back grounds and past posts of people... I don't have the time, inclination or enthusiasm for such things.


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

Wow, offered a medal and a sainthood all on one thread. I must get involved in contentious threads more often.


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## guido16 (27 August 2010)

I seriously think that some members on this forum are on class A drugs these days.

It is becoming the norm for perfectly normal threads to turn in to WW III. 

I think I am going to set up home behind my sofa and not come out.......just in case the bogey man gets me..


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Wow, offered a medal and a sainthood all on one thread. I must get involved in contentious threads more often.  
	
	
		
		
	


	




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and now you're going to tell us you're Mother Teresa...

(its possible...allsorts of celebs come on here, you know  )


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			and now you're going to tell us you're Mother Teresa...

(its possible...allsorts of celebs come on here, you know  )
		
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SHHHHHHH don't tell them!


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			and now you're going to tell us you're Mother Teresa...

(its possible...allsorts of celebs come on here, you know  )
		
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though this might be the first dead one.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			though this might be the first dead one.
		
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NOOOO...she's not dead is she?

well, blow me down.....


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			though this might be the first dead one.
		
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I'm sure I saw Elvis on here the other week!


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			I'm sure I saw Elvis on here the other week! 
	
	
		
		
	


	




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That explains a lot.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			I'm sure I saw Elvis on here the other week! 
	
	
		
		
	


	




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Me too..he was having a beer with princess Di..


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			That explains a lot. 

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 Aha that big grin smiley doesnt work for you either - it puts it in as : D but changes when you submit or preview - BUG!


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

Not in the best possible taste!


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## beetlejuice (27 August 2010)

I think the reason some people are p*ssed of with OP is because she is commenting on something she could have done something about.

If she had written this post then put...but i asked her if she was ok and she said fine. then it would have been a whole different conversation. 

Op if you had asked or done something at least your conscience would be clear knowing you did everything you could in that situation.


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## beetlejuice (27 August 2010)

wow my writing was really big! sorry folks!!


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

beetlejuice said:



			wow my writing was really big! sorry folks!!
		
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If everyone wrote like that, then I wouldn't need my glasses..brilliant!!


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

beetlejuice said:



I think the reason people are getting p*ssed of with OP is because she is commenting on something she could have done something about.

If she had written this post then put...but i asked her if she was ok and she said fine. then it would have been a whole different conversation. 

Op if you had asked or done something at least your conscience would be clear knowing you did everything you could in that situation.

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i for one, am not"pissed" off wuth the OP, its certainly time for this thread to end, its just bitchy now, and getting nowhere.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			i for one, am not"pissed" off wuth the OP, its certainly time for this thread to end, its just bitchy now, and getting nowhere.
		
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It's bloody funny though


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## beetlejuice (27 August 2010)

nothing i wrote in that comment was bitchy, op obviously feels quilty or she wouldnt have started the thread, and wanted to know what to do in the future.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

jemima_too said:



			Not in the best possible taste!
	
	
		
		
	


	




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You is bad..I was going to quote you as well LOL


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			i for one, am not"pissed" off wuth the OP, its certainly time for this thread to end, its just bitchy now, and getting nowhere.
		
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Brilliant - the thread had had a nice 7 hour sleep and dropped WAY down Page Two  and YOU chose to post on it to revive it all. All today's twaddle probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for your actions.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

thank you, so its all my fault now- cheers!!


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

beetlejuice said:



			nothing i wrote in that comment was bitchy, op obviously feels quilty or she wouldnt have started the thread, and wanted to know what to do in the future.
		
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no wonder you had to type big. It must be quite tricky typing with your head up there!

Who exactly do you think you are to go telling people what they should have done in order to have a  'clear conscience' and accuse them of feeling guilty?

I am just astounded at how self righteous and self important some people are on this board.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			thank you, so its all my fault now- cheers!!
		
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Ah Bless

Group Hug


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

Just as an aside, re the epileptic fit, what do you think the bystanders should have done? The covention is you don't do anything during a fit other than move furniture if possible to stop them injuring themselves (eg in a restaurant you would pull the table and chair away). You don't try and restrain the person having the fit, you don't, as some believe, put a spoon in their mouth, you keep out of arms reach to prevent you from being injured. I wouldn't call an ambulance in the first instance, many epileptics don't need one, a fit is scary to watch but in someone with a history of epilepsy, unless they injure themselves, an ambulance is not needed, and in many cases by the time it would get there they have stopped fitting and are highly embarrased by an ambulance showing up. I would stay with them, watch for signs of swallowing their tongue and once they have stopped fitting, render assistance, ask if they do want an ambulance or someone to be called etc.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

i posted this morning about a person running over a rabbit for gods sake, now i like rabbits, and also i dont find it funny that jokes can be made over a little creature suffering.someone wrote the other day over the loss of her hamster, is this funny too? they are all gods creatures---


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

emma69 i think anything would have been better than just standing and watching dont you? noone moved the furniture, noone comforted his  distressed nephew until one woman took control of the situation. my point is not everyone knows the right thing to do at the time. i wasnt trying to start an epileptic debate :S


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			no wonder you had to type big. It must be quite tricky typing with your head up there!

Who exactly do you think you are to go telling people what they should have done in order to have a  'clear conscience' and accuse them of feeling guilty?

I am just astounded at how self righteous and self important some people are on this board.
		
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but tbh the OP did feel guilty so they wern't accusing anything :S she clearly felt embarassed for not doing anything to help and felt bad and didnt have a clear conscience.

yes there are alot of people taking this a bit far but right now it seems you might be aswell, and i'm not assuming or accusing you of it, just how it looks to me sorry :S


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## SirenaXVI (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			thank you, so its all my fault now- cheers!!
		
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## OneInAMillion (27 August 2010)

Personally I am not going to say anything apart from "what if and hindsight" are wonderful things....


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## squiz22 (27 August 2010)

Just having a laugh at jemima and notiveponies who clearly think they are way too cool for school!

Being a complete ar$ehole to people isn't that cool you look like a pair of rude *****!


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

squiz22 said:



			Just having a laugh at jemima and notiveponies who clearly think they are way too cool for school!

Being a complete ar$ehole to people isn't that cool you look like a pair of rude *****!
		
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Gotta love someone who calls people rude but can't do so without resorting to swearing. Bless


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

squiz22 said:



			Just having a laugh at jemima and notiveponies who clearly think they are way too cool for school!

Being a complete ar$ehole to people isn't that cool you look like a pair of rude *****!
		
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PMSL....sense of humour by-pass..


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

haha Jemima_too you've not been my fave person through this thread but you do make some good points!
squiz22, well done for making yourself look a little bit silly XD


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

LivingTheDream92 said:



			haha Jemima_too you've not been my fave person through this thread
		
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But she's won a medal AND been offered a Sainthood


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

LivingTheDream92 said:



			but tbh the OP did feel guilty so they wern't accusing anything :S she clearly felt embarassed for not doing anything to help and felt bad and didnt have a clear conscience.

yes there are alot of people taking this a bit far but right now it seems you might be aswell, and i'm not assuming or accusing you of it, just how it looks to me sorry :S
		
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sorry, are you short of something to do?

posting to say you're not assuming or accusing but it is your opinion?

and that others may be taking this a bit far?

bonkers.

I think there's something in the water, personally.

Elvis, Mother T and me have left the building


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## squiz22 (27 August 2010)

Only is the poor girl starting the thread finds it funny is it funny.. 

School starts again soon - we'll see you two later


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			sorry, are you short of something to do?

posting to say you're not assuming or accusing but it is your opinion?

and that others may be taking this a bit far?

bonkers.

I think there's something in the water, personally.

Elvis, Mother T and me have left the building 

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but how am i taking this too far? the OP did say these things but you bit someones head off for agreeing with the OP and giving her some constructive critisism?


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

I just wanted to point it out - so many people DO rush in and 'try' to help, making things worse (trying to restrain someone who is fitting is what most people try to do). I would hate for someone to think I am 'doing nothing' when actually I am watching to ensure they are not swallowing their tongue, and waiting for the seizure to pass before I can actually be helpful. I wouldn't be comforting the nephew (I would be watching the person).


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

squiz22 said:



			Only is the poor girl starting the thread finds it funny is it funny.. 

School starts again soon - we'll see you two later
		
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Thanks Teacher.

Hope I dont get detention


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			But she's won a medal AND been offered a Sainthood 

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ah very true, forgot that, she IS my fave now XD cant say no to medal and sainthood XD


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## martlin (27 August 2010)

squiz22 said:



			Only is the poor girl starting the thread finds it funny is it funny.. 

School starts again soon - we'll see you two later
		
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Awww, bless, are you looking forward to going back to school then?


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

emma69 said:



			I just wanted to point it out - so many people DO rush in and 'try' to help, making things worse (trying to restrain someone who is fitting is what most people try to do). I would hate for someone to think I am 'doing nothing' when actually I am watching to ensure they are not swallowing their tongue, and waiting for the seizure to pass before I can actually be helpful. I wouldn't be comforting the nephew (I would be watching the person).
		
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i wasnt implying that everyone should have jumped in, that would mean i was saying everyone should have rushed over to the badly behaving hacker and gone a bit OTT with it, i was just giving an example, not an epilepsy debate! :S but there was mnore than enough people around for one to look after the nephew while others did all the other very true things you suggested to do, i wasnt implying anything else, and i would never put a SPOON in someones mouth!!


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

LivingTheDream92 said:



			but how am i taking this too far? the OP did say these things but you bit someones head off for agreeing with the OP and giving her some constructive critisism?
		
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honey, that is not me biting someone's head off, trust me, and that was NOT constructive *criticism* (def time we were all back in school  )


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

martlin said:



			Awww, bless, are you looking forward to going back to school then?
		
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Of course she is..she has me and jemima to deal with


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## LivingTheDream92 (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			honey, that is not me biting someone's head off, trust me, and that was NOT constructive *criticism* (def time we were all back in school  )
		
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sorry for misspelling? :S well if you think it wasnt constructive then fair enough, there has been much less constructive things said in this post so each to their own i guess


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## itsme123 (27 August 2010)

Had I been present, I'd probably have been tempted to beat the rider with the whip before she could knife/machete/shoot me. 

Therefore I would have just drove on, as I don't fancy the chance of death or a GBH charge.


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## martlin (27 August 2010)

nativeponies said:



			Of course she is..she has me and jemima to deal with
		
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*shudders* I think I would rather go back to school, too.


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## Munchkin (27 August 2010)

Rosie, rosie, rosie. Of course it was meant as a joke - to lighten the mood, ya know? 

Impossible with people who takes themselves as seriously as you on the thread!

Fortunately most people took it as intended.


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

Up until fairly recently it was considered the right thing to do - the spoon would stop the person swalling their tongue. There are still plenty of people around who were taught to do this years ago - I have stopped people doing it, as they consider it correct! Similar to putting butter on burns - how many parents would still do that (ok, maybe grandparents nowadays).


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## caitlin95uk (27 August 2010)

Aw i feel for you, i have before seen someone hit and hit their horse, and to all you who said "oh and you didnt stop"
i was walking home one day from the yard when i saw a girl leading her horse smacking him, yanking the reins, and i asked her what was wrong, the horse is a bit panicky so lets not get worked up, and i really wish even to this day that i didnt say that. she got angry at me shouted at me that it wasnt my business, i tried to explain i only wanted to help and said it would be best if i left but she kept hold of me, when her dad came, he also had a go at me and blamed me for the fall, i got threatened and i had never been so scared in my life and she finally let go of me and the dad stopped shouting when a nearby walker came and helped me, the rider was then angrier as she was angry at me for gettin involved and by this point she was hitting the horse again, taking the anger out on the poor horse. 
so, now tell me it was a good idea to get involved.


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## *hic* (27 August 2010)

Whilst that was sweetly enthusiastic of you, you were what 14 or 15 when that happened I assume. No, it really wasn't a good idea to get involved as you found out because you're not experienced enough to recognise a situation that is escalating badly. It's fair enough to ask if they want help. If the answer is rudely rejected you then butt out - or risk the sort of reaction you got.

It would be great if it didn't put you off offering help again but after that sort of experience I can see why you wouldn't wish to.


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## caitlin95uk (27 August 2010)

Yes, i was  about 13  so was a scary experience but now i dodge anyway, and think its not my horse why get involved.


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## alwaysbroke (27 August 2010)

Didnt think this thread would still be going, havent got time to catch up atm, bet it will have disappeared by tonight


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

And just to add to that, teens can unintentionally be patronizing when they offer to help, especially if the person is older. Depending on the tone of voice, it might have wound me up a tad, expressed as written.


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## beetlejuice (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			no wonder you had to type big. It must be quite tricky typing with your head up there!

Who exactly do you think you are to go telling people what they should have done in order to have a  'clear conscience' and accuse them of feeling guilty?

I am just astounded at how self righteous and self important some people are on this board.
		
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excuse me i wasnt havent a go at her or anything or telling her what to feel, but its pretty clear she was feeling guilty and mortified otherwise why did she start the post!!! my personal opinion is she could have wound down the window and asked if she was ok. regardless of what happened afterwards and like i said at least she wouldnt have to feel guilty about it!

because you cant put any sort of emotion into writing on a forum people cant half take things the wrong way and twist what you say. 

and when did i ever have a go at you? or the OP for that matter? 

Anyway OP sorry if i have caused you any distress from reading my post and what i said wasnt meant to offend you.


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## guido16 (27 August 2010)

Right thats it. 

I think the OP should have jumped through her car window (starsky and hutch style) , rugby tackled the rider to the ground (in a kung foo fashion) and tied her up with a daisy chain (quickly made by the OP) then...... grabbed the horse, untacked it and shouted at it " run my gorgoeus beast, your free, run for the hills!!!"

Surely this is the right thing to do?
THEN........ we could all have a go at her for needless cruelty to daisies....


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## mulledwhine (27 August 2010)

Blimey my head is spinning after reading this....

AND RELAX


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## baymareb (27 August 2010)

I can't keep up with the knife wielding, lunatic, roves of teenage gangs leading obstreperous horses while having an epileptic fit.  And I find it interesting that so many people seem to think the only two choices are to either drive by or yell at the person.

"Hi.  Are you okay?  Need some help?"   Whatever happened to responses like that?


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## miss_bird (27 August 2010)

when i was lots younger a woman i used to ride for and i were out driving when we came across a young woman rider and the horse that was throwing a complete mental bucking and rearer all over the middle of the road rider still on horse (not sure how).
Anyway my friend got out car to help and was swore at by the rider (i think through embarrasement as loads of traffic around) my friend managed to get hold of the bridle and ignored the rider and calmed the horse down.
Maybe the completely the wrong thing to do but she lead the rider over to a green area and calmed down horse and rider completely by which time the rider was in serious tears.
The rider did thank my friend over and over and appologies for her earlier actions saying she was just so scared and completly out of control and with the traffic everywhere did not know what to do.
After seeing that happen i have always got out the car and offered help in a calm and helpful manner.
Yes on numerous occasions i have wanted to scream and hit riders but that gets no-one no where calm does work some times just takes a bit longer to get through.


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## rosie fronfelen (27 August 2010)

Munchkin said:



			Rosie, rosie, rosie. Of course it was meant as a joke - to lighten the mood, ya know? 

Impossible with people who takes themselves as seriously as you on the thread!

Fortunately most people took it as intended.
		
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i must have an old fashioned sense of humour- all i see on here is sarcasm and cynicism, so put me on ignore if you dont like me--


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## jhoward (27 August 2010)

guido16 said:



			Right thats it. 

I think the OP should have jumped through her car window (starsky and hutch style) , rugby tackled the rider to the ground (in a kung foo fashion) and tied her up with a daisy chain (quickly made by the OP) then...... grabbed the horse, untacked it and shouted at it " run my gorgoeus beast, your free, run for the hills!!!"

Surely this is the right thing to do?
THEN........ we could all have a go at her for needless cruelty to daisies....
		
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sunroof.. the mental images were by far more entertaining.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			put me on ignore if you dont like me--
		
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If everyone did that, you'd be talking to yourself


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## Munchkin (27 August 2010)

rosiefronfelen said:



			put me on ignore if you dont like me--
		
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Since it's you that has a problem with everything I say, rather than the other way around, perhaps you should apply this logic yourself 

Unfortunately I don't think there's a way of blocking people who trawl through the forum looking for things to be offended by, so that they cannot read your posts. This would be an excellent facility!


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## azouria (27 August 2010)

This seems more than a little unfair. It is all very well saying what you would/wouldnt do, and im sure that some of you would get out and give the rider an earful/try to help, but please bear in mind that not everyone deals with these situations in the same way and as someone said before there are plenty of people (me included) who hate confrontation. And also, truth be told, there are a hell of a lot of assumptions being made for both casesmaybe she should have stopped, but nobody except Monsters will ever know what actually appeared to be going on or how the rider came across, so its not really fair to accuse. It would have probably been nice for the OP is someone had said that maybe she should have stopped and given suggestions (like some people have done) on how to approach the situation, without all the accusations?


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## thatsmygirl (27 August 2010)

Right, thanks it's been interesting.
I can't confront people due to my past life which I'm not going into on a public forum as it's unpleasant and after prison iv started life in a new area to start again. But the thought off confronting somebody after what iv been through fills me will terror. I wanted to stop and help but couldn't just couldn't.


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## JoJo_ (27 August 2010)

Omg I cannot believe this post is still going on!

Monsters dont feel bad. You wernt in the wrong, the rider beating her horse is the one doing the wrong thing. Believe me you are not the only one who wouldnt have stopped and I dont think anyone can be sure what they would do until they have been in that situation themselves. Lets hope not many people on this forum will be!


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## emma69 (27 August 2010)

I can utterly understand not wanting to confront someone. However, as others have said, confrontation is not the only way - a cheery 'hi, did you need a leg up' or 'can I help at all' is not confrontational. I wouldn't confront someone on my own, in the middle of a road. Plenty of ways to skin a cat and all that.


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## ChesnutsRoasting (27 August 2010)

Don't fret, OP, some comments on here are very harsh & unforgiving.  Confidence is like a fine wine, it comes with ageing. Thus, when dealing with difficult people & confronting them, it becomes a delight, due to you not giving a rats arse what others think of you!


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## narkymare (27 August 2010)

blazingsaddles said:



			Don't fret, OP, some comments on here are very harsh & unforgiving.  Confidence is like a fine wine, it comes with ageing. Thus, when dealing with difficult people & confronting them, it becomes a delight, due to you not giving a rats arse what others think of you! 

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lol!!!!!!!!!!!
that is so true -I  really dont give a fig as to what other people think of me now


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

well I've been largely with the OP throughout this, but I have to say, the sudden appearance of the new life after prison card has made me miss a step.
I'm surprised you didn't mention this earlier, or come to that, that you mentioned it at all, when 'oh, sorry, I didn't explain, there are some rather complicated reasons that I'd rather not get mixed up in an argument' would probably have done.
Of course the OP is probably very genuine, but it is a pet hate of mine to watch an argument go on for days and then to have the 'wounded' party suddenly say 'how can you all be so horrible to me when my wife just died/ dog got run over/ house burned down/ pick any other element of a Country Song as required. Why? Because no one knew, because you witheld that part of the story.


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## LauraBR (27 August 2010)

What a bizarre thread 

You know, it would actually be a really interesting and valid discussion about what people would/could/should do in such a situation, if you could edit out all the people determined to take offence at every opinion offered differing from their own.

In the OP's shoes I probably would have simply asked the rider, "Are you OK?" and gone from there. If she had bursted into tears, for example, and sobbed that she needed a hand I would most likely have given one; if she had told me to F off I would have driven on by with/without return expletives depending on my mood!


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## thatsmygirl (27 August 2010)

I didn't mention it to start with cause it's a bit off me I would rather forget and was just watching the thread with interest. But after all the **** that's gone on I now want to lay it to rest and explain to the people who offered advice my reasons and that I wasn't just a cold hearted bitch. No point last night with the dragons about


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## skewbald_again (27 August 2010)

LauraBR said:



			You know, it would actually be a really interesting and valid discussion about what people would/could/should do in such a situation, if you could edit out all the people determined to take offence at every opinion offered differing from their own.
		
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Wouldn't that rather be editing people out because their response didn't agree with your own, though?


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## LauraBR (27 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			Wouldn't that rather be editing people out because their response didn't agree with your own, though?



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What an odd reply to my post. Of course it wouldn't, the discussion is interesting because of all the different views on what to do in the OP's situation.


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## nativetyponies (27 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			Right, thanks it's been interesting.
I can't confront people due to my past life which I'm not going into on a public forum as it's unpleasant and after prison iv started life in a new area to start again. But the thought off confronting somebody after what iv been through fills me will terror. I wanted to stop and help but couldn't just couldn't.
		
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Anger management issues?


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## HappyHorses:) (27 August 2010)

nativeponies -That comment was, in my opinion, out of order.


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## typekitty (28 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			Wouldn't that rather be editing people out because their response didn't agree with your own, though?



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My thoughts exactly!


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## Cedars (28 August 2010)

Not read all the replies but could see how it was going. Anyway just wanted to add that I absolutely would NOT have stopped to help if she was being that violent - kid sat on the side of the road crying, maybe, but someone that is that angry is capable of much. 

Jemima_too, you're really hideous!


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## china (28 August 2010)

i was hoping this thread would have been pulled by now, there are some nasty things said on here.


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## LauraBR (28 August 2010)

typekitty said:



			My thoughts exactly!
		
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I appreciate that actually being interested in opinions different your own is a novel concept for some people on here  but I stand by what I said. If you took out all the sniping and offence on all sides it would be a really interesting and very worthwhile discussion. No?


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## skewbald_again (28 August 2010)

LauraBR said:



 

I appreciate that actually being interested in opinions different your own is a novel concept for some people on here  but I stand by what I said. If you took out all the sniping and offence on all sides it would be a really interesting and very worthwhile discussion. No?
		
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sorry, one person's 'sniping' is another person's strongly expressed opinion, and it rather depends, where you're standing. See, I think it would be more interesting if we got rid of the smug/sarcastic bits ....


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## tinkandlily (28 August 2010)

What a b***h, i can't stand people who do that, my late tb had whip scars on his bum from when someone that took their frustration out on him.


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## typekitty (28 August 2010)

skewbald_again said:



			sorry, one person's 'sniping' is another person's strongly expressed opinion, and it rather depends, where you're standing. See, I think it would be more interesting if we got rid of the smug/sarcastic bits .... 

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But then it wouldn't be so interesting to follow!


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## thatsmygirl (28 August 2010)

flamehead said:



			Not read all the replies but could see how it was going. Anyway just wanted to add that I absolutely would NOT have stopped to help if she was being that violent - kid sat on the side of the road crying, maybe, but someone that is that angry is capable of much. 

Jemima_too, you're really hideous!
		
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Thank you so much and you are right about jemima-too, shame people have to be so bitchy on here


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## xspiralx (28 August 2010)

Monsters said:



			Thank you so much and you are right about jemima-too, shame people have to be so bitchy on here
		
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Hahahahaah. So its okay for other people to say nasty things about jemima_too [and anyone else who disagrees with you] - but any one who says anything critical of you is "bitchy"? Classic.


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## thatsmygirl (28 August 2010)

Iv got no problem with people disagreeing with me and have taken some good advice from members on here. It's the way certain people say things, put it bitchy and nasty when there's no need.


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## BSJAlove (28 August 2010)

wow. 

monsters, you wernt in the wrong. the person beating the horse up is wrong. i wouldnt have stopped. trust me, someone who is angry to the point of beating something up, is capable of anything. and why wind her up more? its the horse that will get it. im shocked at some people's comments, didnt realize people on this forum can be so rude. people are entitled to their opinions and no need to bully the ones that dont agree with you.


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