# my daughter had a very bad accident, broken femurs.. help please



## Chyrti (19 December 2016)

Hello everyone!
I have to apologize if my English isn't that great but it's not my foreign language. 

I'm a showjumper and my husband too. My daughter is 10 and she jumps fences that are 4" to 4"3 in height at competitions, and is also competing in dressage and pony games so she is a really good rider. She is still riding ponies (this year was supposed to be her last before moving on to horses) and doesn't have her own yet... I was going to search for the best one for this year, I was so excited for her, but this accident happened She was riding my number one horse (11 years old, very strong and tall but lovely to ride, I buy him when he was 2, I know him very well and she was doing pretty good with him, it wasn't her first time) with my coach when the horse freaked out, reared and lost his balance. It never happened before but he just fell straight on my little girl... The horse is Ok but my girl...
Airlifted to the hospital, she had surgery and is not doing so good right now, she broke both femurs, an ankle, ribs and 5 vertebrea, she is going to need another major surgery on thursday, she is in the intensive care unit.
I feel so bad, How can this happen to her, and I now that it is totally my fault: I let her ride my horse, that is too tall and strong! Do you this she is gonna be OK? Is it possible to heal from all these injuries, and how long is it gonna take? 
I broke my ankle once, and one vertebrae, but I never had such a big accident in all my carrier..

I really hope someone is going to help me here to find answers to how to handle the situation and how is going to be the future for us...


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## rascal (19 December 2016)

Really sorry to hear about your daughters accident. I have two grown up daughters of my own who ride, this sort of thing is every parents worst nightmare. I hope she will be OK but it will take time.


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## stencilface (19 December 2016)

The accident could have happened on any horse, you never know with horses or ponies none are 100% reliable all of the time.

Healing I have no idea, but she's young and hopefully getting the best care. Just take the recovery slowly.


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## Flicker (19 December 2016)

You can't blame yourself.  Riding is a risk sport and accidents can happen.  When you are feeling up to it you should possibly see if the horse is in any pain that may have caused it to behave in this way, but you may find it was just a freak thing.  My horse once sent me flying when he was stung by a wasp!

Regarding your daughter's recovery, are you in the U.K.?  If you are, chances are that she will be being treated by a team of specialists and each one will have an idea of how that particular area of her recovery is going.  She should also receive longer term physiotherapy and other rehab to get her back on her feet.  It will probably take some time though.

Thinking of you.


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## popsdosh (19 December 2016)

Chyrti said:



			Hello everyone!
I have to apologize if my English isn't that great but it's not my foreign language. 

I'm a showjumper and my husband too. My daughter is 10 and she jumps fences that are 4" to 4"3 in height at competitions, and is also competing in dressage and pony games so she is a really good rider. She is still riding ponies (this year was supposed to be her last before moving on to horses) and doesn't have her own yet... I was going to search for the best one for this year, I was so excited for her, but this accident happened She was riding my number one horse (11 years old, very strong and tall but lovely to ride, I buy him when he was 2, I know him very well and she was doing pretty good with him, it wasn't her first time) with my coach when the horse freaked out, reared and lost his balance. It never happened before but he just fell straight on my little girl... The horse is Ok but my girl...
Airlifted to the hospital, she had surgery and is not doing so good right now, she broke both femurs, an ankle, ribs and 5 vertebrea, she is going to need another major surgery on thursday, she is in the intensive care unit.
I feel so bad, How can this happen to her, and I now that it is totally my fault: I let her ride my horse, that is too tall and strong! Do you this she is gonna be OK? Is it possible to heal from all these injuries, and how long is it gonna take? 
I broke my ankle once, and one vertebrae, but I never had such a big accident in all my carrier..

I really hope someone is going to help me here to find answers to how to handle the situation and how is going to be the future for us...
		
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Perhaps not put a 10yo on a strong horse jumping 4'3in would be a good start  are we really meant to believe that?


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## poiuytrewq (19 December 2016)

popsdosh said:



			Perhaps not put a 10yo on a strong horse jumping 4'3in would be a good start  are we really meant to believe that?
		
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It doesn't actually say she was jumping 4'3 on this horse. I think that was used as a reference to the girls standard of riding. 
I think what the op has done is completely what lots of parents would actually. Daughters about to move up to horses, good rider so has a lesson on mums horse who hasn't ever given cause for concern in years. 
Op I'm so sorry and can't imagine what your going through. It's not your fault. My daughter used to jump my strong 16.2 at 10 ish 
Accidents happen and you mustn't beat yourself up about it. 
Concentrate on getting your little girl better. 
Thinking of you both.   Xx


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

Since Popsdosh has already called you out as a troll, I have to question whether the distraught parent of a child in pieces in ICU would be joining a foreign language forum to ask a bunch of total strangers what her medical prognosis is. I am sorry if you genuinely need help and support, but we have been absolutely plagued with people playing on the good nature of nice people on this forum. It's such a shame, because it puts people off offering support when it's genuinely needed


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## cremedemonthe (19 December 2016)

popsdosh said:



			Perhaps not put a 10yo on a strong horse jumping 4'3in would be a good start  are we really meant to believe that?
		
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Thinking the same!


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## The Fuzzy Furry (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Since Popsdosh has already called you out as a troll, I have to question whether the distraught parent of a child in pieces in ICU would be joining a foreign language forum to ask a bunch of total strangers what her medical prognosis is. I am sorry if you genuinely need help and support, but we have been absolutely plagued with people playing on the good nature of nice people on this forum. It's such a shame, because it puts people off offering support when it's genuinely needed 

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Well put ^


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## twiggy2 (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			...I have to question whether the distraught parent of a child in pieces in ICU would be joining a foreign language forum to ask a bunch of total strangers what her medical prognosis is...(
		
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This


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## popsdosh (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Since Popsdosh has already called you out as a troll, I have to question whether the distraught parent of a child in pieces in ICU would be joining a foreign language forum to ask a bunch of total strangers what her medical prognosis is. I am sorry if you genuinely need help and support, but we have been absolutely plagued with people playing on the good nature of nice people on this forum. It's such a shame, because it puts people off offering support when it's genuinely needed 

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We always get a load of them around Christmas it happens every year,to many people with to much time on their hands!


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## 007Equestrian (19 December 2016)

I really can't get my head around why you would pretend you have a daughter in ICU for 'fun'...


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## Auslander (19 December 2016)

I almost hope that this poster is a troll, because if she isn't, these reponses are going to make her feel even worse than she already is.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that a good 10yr old is jumping 1.20/1.30 in competition, nor that she would be riding the parents decent competition horse. I know I was, when I was that sort of age.

If this is genuine, be comforted that young bones heal better than old bones, and I wish your daughter an uncomplicated recovery.


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## honetpot (19 December 2016)

You know what we all do things that sometimes we think afterwards we should not have done. A lot of accidents happen on farms because farmers children spend a lot of time with their parents, being situations that are potentially dangerous, using machinery with huge hp, but that is their life.
  Young bones heal quickly, someone I know broke his vertebra in three places when he was young, he was in a plaster cast for months but now still rides. As long they get her pain sorted out and get her moving as quickly as possible you will be surprised how quickly she comes along, I know because I have looked after children who have had orthopaedic surgery. In fact its hard to stop them doing more than they should even on crutches.


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## sasquatch (19 December 2016)

Auslander said:



			I almost hope that this poster is a troll, because if she isn't, these reponses are going to make her feel even worse than she already is.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that a good 10yr old is jumping 1.20/1.30 in competition, nor that she would be riding the parents decent competition horse. I know I was, when I was that sort of age.

If this is genuine, be comforted that young bones heal better than old bones, and I wish your daughter an uncomplicated recovery.
		
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I agree, troll or not, some of the responses would make any parent who's child has had a horrific accident feel even worse. 

We also don't know if the OP is foreign and living in the UK, or has been looking for a horse forum online to ask for support and HHO online was the first one they found. I've had a relative in ICU before, and as much as you want to spend every minute of your time with them, it's not always possible. It is also believable that the OP has joined and posted on the forum at a time when they have to wait before they can be allowed back in to see their daughter or if other people are visiting her (for us, only 2 people were allowed in to the ICU at a time, so we took it in turns. It may be different for OP).

OP, if you are not a troll, please don't blame yourself. This could have happened to anyone at any time, and is an accident. 

Best wishes.


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## LD&S (19 December 2016)

As someone has already said, hopefully it's not for real, either I'm getting more cynical or my trolldar is starting to work, sorry to OP if their story is real but I don't think it's genuine.


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## KautoStar1 (19 December 2016)

Oh FFS !!!


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## Rowreach (19 December 2016)

TRCequestrian said:



			I really can't get my head around why you would pretend you have a daughter in ICU for 'fun'...
		
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You would be amazed then by the stories that have been told on here in the past by non-genuine posters.


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## Rowreach (19 December 2016)

TRCequestrian said:



			I really can't get my head around why you would pretend you have a daughter in ICU for 'fun'...
		
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You would be amazed then by the stories that have been told on here in the past by non-genuine posters.


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## 007Equestrian (19 December 2016)

Rowreach said:



			You would be amazed then by the stories that have been told on here in the past by non-genuine posters.
		
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I'm just clueless. Is it acting? Some weird kind of roleplay?


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## Rowreach (19 December 2016)

TRCequestrian said:



			I'm just clueless. Is it acting? Some weird kind of roleplay?
		
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I think we've had a range of types, some sad, some nasty, some getting a different sort of kick out of it.  My least favourite are the ones (often a few acting together, and in the past some have been regular users "having a laugh" at other people's expense) who are simply playing the forum for their own amusement.

I do worry that the attention seeking ones are actually pretty much in need of help, but trolling isn't the way to go imo.

There are a lot of lovely people on this forum (and I know this from my own experience over the years) and it is sad when their goodwill is abused.

I have no idea if the OP here is genuine or not.  The post has all the hallmarks of a troll post, but who knows?  If this is real then I am not surprised (as a mum with a son who rides and has been on horses since he was quite young) at the level of guilt.

I actually hope this is a troll as I would not want to think of that poor child being so badly injured, however it happened.


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## Caol Ila (19 December 2016)

Isn't better to (a) if you assume they aren't a troll, respond appropriately or (b) if you assume they are, ignore the post and move onto a different thread than risk telling some poor women who's kid is in hospital after a bad wreck that they are a troll?

Kids are tough -- they heal faster than adults!


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## doodle (19 December 2016)

A 10yo moving onto horses?? My friends 11yo is still on her 12hh


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## The Fuzzy Furry (19 December 2016)

Kamikaze said:



			A 10yo moving onto horses?? My friends 11yo is still on her 12hh
		
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Mine at 10 was competing 12.2's but also riding just about everything else I had in the yard, inc some of the rehabbed TB's  - hunting/jumping etc too.
It wasn't an issue, she was a damned good rider & much in demand from others to pilot sticky ones in public


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## Velcrobum (19 December 2016)

OP is online and watching this thread but has not responded to any comments.........


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## Meowy Catkin (19 December 2016)

I'm going to respond purely on the subject of spinal injuries. The key question is - is there any neurological damage? The prognosis for recovery V disability depends ever such a lot on the answer to that question.


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## Theocat (19 December 2016)

Caol Ila said:



			Isn't better to (a) if you assume they aren't a troll, respond appropriately or (b) if you assume they are, ignore the post and move onto a different thread than risk telling some poor women who's kid is in hospital after a bad wreck that they are a troll?

Kids are tough -- they heal faster than adults!
		
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I agree: I'd prefer it if we erred on the side of helping someone/ giving them the benefit of the doubt rather than coming down on someone who might be having a very tough time with nowhere else to turn.

This was a bad accident, but no more than that.  Focus on getting your daughter better - and she will - and don't beat yourself up.


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## rascal (19 December 2016)

Kamikaze said:



			A 10yo moving onto horses?? My friends 11yo is still on her 12hh
		
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My two had a Shetland for the youngest, her elder sister had a 12.2 Welsh sec B, but they also rode the other horses, including our 15.1 and my Husbands Shire x.


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## D66 (19 December 2016)

Velcrobum said:



			OP is online and watching this thread but has not responded to any comments.........
		
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are you surprised?


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## Flicker (19 December 2016)

I was on to horses at the age of 11, and yes, jumping about 1m.
I hope some of you feel ashamed of yourselves.  Compassion costs nothing and your posts say an awful lot more about you than they do about the OP.


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## KittenInTheTree (19 December 2016)

I actually started out on horses, rather than ponies. It happens. As Auslander said, young bones are better at healing, and Faracat is right regarding the neurological side of things. The best thing you can do now OP is stay up to speed with what the hospital is doing, and take things as they come. Take the visiting in shifts with your husband, as that way you can both try to get some rest in between, which will help keep you able to function. Don't forget to eat and drink - bottled water and bananas are good bedside vigil food, in my experience. Best wishes to you and your child.


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## LinzyD (19 December 2016)

It's Christmas.  Believe the best in people.  The worst that can happen is that it's a bit of time wasted. 

I know that in the UK we might be a bit shocked at the notion of a 10 year-old moving on to horses, as opposed to having the odd sit on a big horse, because we have an abundance of talented ponies and small horses at all levels and in all disciplines in this country, and the usual age of transition is around 16 or 18, in line with age rules for the discipline, but in mainland Europe it's not at all unusual for children to be riding big horses from a young age.  Whether we think that's desirable or not is irrelevant here; it's completely normal there, in part due to the dearth of pony breeds suitable for anything other than treking or leisure riding.  From what I've seen almost every child is, compared to what we see in the UK, 'overhorsed': from 4 year-olds on 14h Haflingers upwards.   Yes, there are the elite warmblood sports ponies, but I'd say that generally they measure smaller than they would measure here, so it's quite conceivable that a tall child would move on to horses sooner, and then there are few small performance horses because they tend to be bred for size in addition to performance.  Try to see it in the context of not everywhere being like it is in the UK.  

OP - There is every reason to be optimistic.  The human body is an amazing thing and its capacity to heal is quite incredible, especially in young people.  Look after yourself, get as much information as you can about the various injuries, and expect the recovery to take time, but keep faith that it will happen.  Your daughter will need you to stay strong and be her rock throughout her recovery.  How is your husband feeling?  You are in this together and need to do your best to support each other, without any blame.  It would be worth finding out whether the hospital has any kind of counselling service; it might be really helpful to you in coping with the shock and the feelings of guilt.  Please find out about that and make use of it if it's available.  You and your husband need support so that you can support your daughter, and sometimes it's best when that comes from a professional.  Wishing you all the very best.


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?


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## HashRouge (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?
		
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No comment on whether or not the OP is genuine, but they never claimed to be in the UK. They may be in the US, which would explain the feet and inches measurements.


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## Auslander (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Unless you are in Myanmar or Liberia. I don't understand how you can be not fluent in English and feel the need to apologise for it, and then quote show jumps in feet and inches.

It is decades since show jumps were described as anything but metric. If you've been in the UK long enough to think of show jumps in feet and inches, then I would have thought you'd also be confidently fluent in English by now.

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?
		
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Maybe it was because the OP is aware that the Brits still use imperial measurements rather a lot, and thought it was the way we describe fence height? My Dutch and German friends never fail to make jokes about the Brits and pints/hands/feet and inches!


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

HashRouge said:



			No comment on whether or not the OP is genuine, but they never claimed to be in the UK. They may be in the US, which would explain the feet and inches measurements.
		
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They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

Auslander said:



			Maybe it was because the OP is aware that the Brits still use imperial measurements rather a lot, and thought it was the way we describe fence height? My Dutch and German friends never fail to make jokes about the Brits and pints/hands/feet and inches!
		
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They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population)  yet refer to feet and inches. 

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.


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## HashRouge (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?
		
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ycbm said:



			They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population)  yet refer to feet and inches. 

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.
		
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Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.


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## attheponies (19 December 2016)

Flicker said:



			I was on to horses at the age of 11, and yes, jumping about 1m.
I hope some of you feel ashamed of yourselves.  Compassion costs nothing and your posts say an awful lot more about you than they do about the OP.
		
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Totally agree, this is why I have virtually given up on this forum My heart goes out to the OP and wish her daughter a full and speedy recovery.


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## honetpot (19 December 2016)

FFS
 I am with Thumper on this, 'if you carn't say sumthing nice don't say anything at all'

  One of my favourite video's, yep its that old, from a series covered polo. It showed Argentinian children with polo mallets that where all most as long as they were tall playing polo on polo ponies their legs hardly coming to end of the stock saddle. Magical.Just because you have never seen it doesn't mean it can not happen


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## popsdosh (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			They are a pair of show jumpers with a show jumping child, with multiple horses. Week in week out they are going to competitions jumping courses described in metric. Feet and inches haven't been used in this country for serious showjumping for decades. Unless they are potentially Spanish speaking Americans, which is about the only way they could have poor English (America having a very big Spanish speaking population)  yet refer to feet and inches. 

And being a Hispanic American they search around and find a British forum to make their first posting on?

Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real. For the sake of the child, I hope you aren't.
		
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The Americans have been using metric for SJ for some time now as we do here


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## risky business (19 December 2016)

Lets be honest if the OP was a troll they got exactly what they came for didn't they... Everyone having a bicker about something or another. 

Hope your daughter recovers OP, shes young they bounce back surprisingly well. Dont beat yourself up horses are unpredictable.


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

HashRouge said:



			Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.
		
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I asked the OP a polite question and other people have chosen to query it, adding to any upset that my post might have caused if the OP is genuine. I am now going to wait for the OP to answer.


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## MDB (19 December 2016)

I think sometimes it is easy to forget that the horse world can be very different in other countries compared to the UK. What may be considered bizarre and unrealistic in the UK can be quite normal abroad.

I would like to wish the OP's daughter a speedy recovery. Take one day at a time. It sounds like she has extensive injuries but she is young, she is in the best place, and surely receiving the treatment she needs. It is really impossible for anybody on here to give you anything other than sympathy and support. You probably need to have a sit down meeting with her surgeon or consultant in charge of her care so they can answer all your questions. Write a list of things to ask before you go in so you don't forget, and write things down as you go along because lots of info at once can be overwhelming. Best of luck.


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## RaposadeGengibre (19 December 2016)

HashRouge said:



			Again, assuming the poster is genuine, I don't understand why you think they have to be hispanic? Other foreign people live in the USA, you know. They could be from literally anywhere, but living and competing in the US (and thus use feet and inches in competition). Or they could live elsewhere but assume that we use feet and inches here. Or they could be a troll. Who knows.
		
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Foreign people living in USA, UK or Timbuktu would go to expats forums in USA, UK or Timbuktu as its much easier to express feelings and worries.
Just saying...


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## Fidgety (19 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			They said their English was poor. So are they Hispanic showjumpers who don't speak much English when they are out and about?

Shall we wait for Chyrti to answer the question?
		
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Carrière is French for career.



Chyrti said:



			I broke my ankle once, and one vertebrae, but I never had such a big accident in all my _carrier_

I really hope someone is going to help me here to find answers to how to handle the situation and how is going to be the future for us...
		
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Most parents would be asking these questions of the surgeon, and not asking as a debut post on a forum. 

I am a parent of a child who suffered horrific injuries in an accident and I was a lurker of this forum of the time, but my first instinct wasn't to come running here, but to watch over my daughter as she went through the recovery process.


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## Chyrti (19 December 2016)

Hello everyone,
Thank you so much for all your messages, you all took the time to answer and it truly means a lot to me. Every day when I wake up I wish this wasn't happening, I wish I was a troll here... But my daughter is not in her room, she is not at the stables, she is not in the house. She really is in the hospital... I'm so sorry to hear that you have problems with people lying on this website, and I can't show you any proof of what I am facing, I don't know how I can do that... I'm a mess right now, I'm just freacking out since the accident, not knowing what to do: surgeons and doctors are really busy, and I can see my little girl 2 to 3 hours a day because the hospital doesn't allow more visits: just family, and not for too long. Next surgery is huge and after this surgery, and only after, we are going to know a little bit more about what the future holds for us and for her and I am so afraid about it: High risks with her vertebrea fractures, really difficult because the only thing that I can do for her is waiting, let the surgeons do their job... You are right, coming here for support maybe wasn't the best idea but I'm so bad with living this situation, that I keep making bad decisions... I can't really answer to you all but I cant say that the horse is OK, and that my husband knew my daughter was riding this horse: It was the only horse that I was trusting, and she was asking if she can ride him for years now, she wasn't juming with him or anything, I really tried to keep her safe. With the fact that she is moving to horses, for jumping and competitions I was going to search a small horse, and she is moving because she is really tall. My foreign language is French. I'm reading and not responding because I don't always have the time and with all the "trolls " comments, I didn't really knew what to respond. I don't understand how people can lie about such a big accident, that's very disrespectful for those that are in need of support and it makes it difficult for you all to know if I am lying or not... Anyway, I really don't know what I should do now, but one more time I apologize for the bad English today. 
If someone know something about injuries that my daughter have, or informations that can help us with helping our injured daughter, my wonderful coach that is really shocked with the accident, or even with how to do with the horse that I love the most, that I can't look in the eyes anymore, and that I really can't ride right know, even if it makes sense to forgive him, I can't...


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## Dave's Mam (19 December 2016)

You must be so stressed OP, & I understand you reaching out for support.  Speak to the surgeons.  I hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery.  If it is of any use to help, I broke my arm very severely & near to an artery at age 11.  I am 45 now.  I still have some aches & my left elbow doesn't bend properly, but I am generally fine.

Good Luck & Love to your little girl.


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## poiuytrewq (19 December 2016)

You can only visit for a few hours a day?!! I thought in ICU children especially can have a parent at all times 24/7 
Awful.


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## Fiona (19 December 2016)

Will be thinking of you over Christmas  OP... Hugs x x 

Look after yourself too x

Fiona


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## Asha (19 December 2016)

As a mum, no matter what happens or why it happens you will always blame yourself. Awful situation to be in, and my heart goes out to you.
My daughter has broken several bones, including her back through riding accidents, and I blame myself for everyone of them.
I bought the pony, I suggested she got on, I knew she shouldn't have ridden in the wind, you name it, I thought of it.

Try and be kind to yourself, your daughter is going to need you to be strong, and to help her get better. Which, with the aid of the doctors, I hope she will.

Take care x


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## PeterNatt (19 December 2016)

I feel very much for you and hope that your daughter makes a steady and full recovery.


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## KrujaaLass (19 December 2016)

I feel your pain. Twenty years ago my daughter was in a fatal car crash, where her friend died. She broke several bones, she is now 38 and has no ill effects. If it makes you feel better we let her daughter, my granddaughter, aged 10, jump our 16 hand thorobred, ex racer. No height just small jumps . I hope the next op goes well for you and she makes a good recovery.


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## ycbm (19 December 2016)

poiuytrewq said:



			You can only visit for a few hours a day?!! I thought in ICU children especially can have a parent at all times 24/7 
Awful.
		
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This 

Chyrti, this is the visiting policy at my local Children's hospital, where they say that the presence of the family is crucial to recovery for a child. Parents can sleep with the child in ICU overnight.

Perhaps take this and address with the hospital that your daughter is in why your visiting hours are so restricted.

http://www.alderhey.nhs.uk/departments/intensive-care-unit/

Children heal well. I'm sure that your daughter will be back to jumping four foot fences in no time.


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## rachk89 (19 December 2016)

Love how people think 10 is too young to move onto horses. I rode horses probably from the age of 9 as I was 5'3 by that point. Not as skilled but still riding horses. Also I remember a video of a young boy riding a horse way too big for him but jumping fences at least a metre high. Can't claim that as trolling. 

If its true which its looking like it is then i hope the child recovers which she will. Kids mend easily and quickly.


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## Flicker (19 December 2016)

Fidgety said:



			Carrière is French for career.



Most parents would be asking these questions of the surgeon, and not asking as a debut post on a forum. 

I am a parent of a child who suffered horrific injuries in an accident and I was a lurker of this forum of the time, but my first instinct wasn't to come running here, but to watch over my daughter as she went through the recovery process.
		
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Different people deal with things in different ways.  Just because you did something a certain way doesn't mean that's how everyone should do it.  How would you have felt if the way you dealt with your daughter's injury was judged by a stranger on an Internet forum, at the very time you needed support?


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## Dave's Mam (19 December 2016)

Sitting on your own, worried to your wits' end.  Perhaps no one else awake to speak to.  Why not seek solace in a forum of possibly like minded people?


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## GirlFriday (19 December 2016)

Dave's Mam said:



			Sitting on your own, worried to your wits' end.  Perhaps no one else awake to speak to.  Why not seek solace in a forum of possibly like minded people?
		
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Yeah - except everyone else is right - no ICU would be excluding the parents like that. Load of cr*p sounding post the first time and the second pops the nail in the coffin (not of the fictional daughter). As a parent I find this kind of trolling particularly offensive.


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## Ladyinred (19 December 2016)

This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.


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## Dave's Mam (19 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.
		
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Spot on.


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## Dave's Mam (19 December 2016)

It takes the same length of time to post some support as it does to try & annihilate a poster's character.  Go easy folks.


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## GirlFriday (20 December 2016)

Yeah... it is kind of sad to see noone has taken OP's bait when she mentioned in the second post not knowing how to prove she was real. I mean obvs it would be a bit off to ask for pictures of the fictional kid (after or before accident) but easy enough to point to parental jumping records or something that would already be freely available on-line.

Except I doubt OP would be brave enough to let on who they are actually pretending to be. Possibly their more experienced school friend's mum?

So, have some fun with that one OP


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## rascal (20 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.
		
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This.  Being kind costs nothing.


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## shirl62 (20 December 2016)

Speaking from experience my son had a car accident and unfortunately died. The 2 + days he was in intensive care I was in a daze with shock and was barely functioning. There would have been no way on this earth that I would have gone on a forum and written a long post , heck I could probably not have typed 2 words together that made any sense. 

As people have mentioned before it does seem a bit strange that the parents are limited to visiting. As a retired paediatric nurse parents could visit their child in ICU/ITU whenever they wanted. I know everyone deals with things differently but all I can say is that is it a bit odd.

Shirl


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## LD&S (20 December 2016)

I also find it odd that the first post was pretty much perfect english but this one is as though it is written by someone completely different, if it is true I'm very sorry but I think the OP is playing with people's emotions.


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## Bojingles (20 December 2016)

As a professional linguist I can confidently say that neither of those posts was written by a francophone.


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## planete (20 December 2016)

I am not taking sides but 'carrière' does mean career yes, but it is also the word for an outdoor manege in France.  Very few people seem to know this so its use would increase the odds in favour of this poster being French for me (I am French but only an amateur linguist albeit with a postgrad. diploma in translation).


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## Flicker (20 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.
		
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This


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## 007Equestrian (20 December 2016)

Bojingles said:



			As a professional linguist I can confidently say that neither of those posts was written by a francophone.
		
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Oh dear! :S Why tempt fate by lying about something awful like that...


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## Zero00000 (20 December 2016)

My bestfriend growing up fell a massive height this year (5 storeys)
She was in a very bad way, with numerous injuries (vertebrae,  hips, legs, arms, her neck was ok) mum was advised she could only be there at certain times due to the unit she was in (Royal London) she was in an induced coma, and it was a long journey for mum daily, so whilst she was in a coma she often didn't go,
So I can see that, but she could barely string a sentence together let alone type on a forum,
But everyone copes differently.

She has made a full recovery thankfully, and surprisingly she is able to walk,

Just because this is about a young child, I really hope she is on the mend soon,
Accidents happen everyday that we never think will happen, even as simple as getting out of bed, don't beat yourself up mum, stay strong for your daughter.

If typing on this forum is an outlet use it,
I hope you have good news soon.


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## blitznbobs (20 December 2016)

If it's true I have every sympathy but these days serious injuries like this from a fall are all over the Internet... 

However in a more generous note... kids heal really well and if she's still alive and not paralysed at this point she'll do well if she's as 'get up and go' as you describe. Physio is hard work but sounds like she'll do it


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## Asha (20 December 2016)

blitznbobs said:



			If it's true I have every sympathy but these days serious injuries like this from a fall are all over the Internet... 

However in a more generous note... kids heal really well and if she's still alive and not paralysed at this point she'll do well if she's as 'get up and go' as you describe. Physio is hard work but sounds like she'll do it
		
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Not always the case about it being on the internet. A good friend of mine died this year in a tragic accident ( horse related) it was never put on the internet apart from a few posts on her FB page. Her family wanted it kept private. Maybe this is the case with this lady. I'm pretty sure if I was in her position, I too wouldn't want it broadcasting


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## glamourpuss (20 December 2016)

Actually it's not true that all hospitals allow parents to stay with their child all of the time. Each hospital is different & due to the set up of ITU departments & the other patients/treatments happening it can be necessary to limit the time spent at bed side. 

Why on earth should she link to her daughters results etc? You've already pointed out that this forum can be accessed by trolls etc...why on earth would a mother want to point people like that in the direction of information about their child. 

As for joining a forum at a time like this, shock & grief doesn't come with an instruction book telling you how to behave. I lost a little boy at 20 weeks & in the days/weeks after when I was barely functioning with grief, this place & another forum were my solace. 
I should imagine she was just hoping to get some support from like minded people who appreciate that accidents with horses can happen....whereas other people are probably making her feel really bad about letting her daughter ride the horse. 

If this is a troll then so be it, I'd rather write 100 supportive posts & 99 of them be to trolls, than miss the 1 genuine post that needed a bit of help.


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## Flicker (20 December 2016)

ThursdayNext said:



			Yeah... it is kind of sad to see noone has taken OP's bait when she mentioned in the second post not knowing how to prove she was real. I mean obvs it would be a bit off to ask for pictures of the fictional kid (after or before accident) but easy enough to point to parental jumping records or something that would already be freely available on-line.

Except I doubt OP would be brave enough to let on who they are actually pretending to be. Possibly their more experienced school friend's mum?

So, have some fun with that one OP 

Click to expand...

Why on earth should the OP have to 'prove' herself to you?  Or do you ask every poster on this forum to provide verification that they are who they say they are, in case you find their post 'offensive'?

If this is indeed what you dismissively refer to as a 'troll' all this attention is making their day.

However if this is a genuinely frightened mother of a young child who has had a serious accident, you and some of the other posters in here have probably managed to make her unbearable situation even worse.  Quite an achievement.  Hope you're proud.  

When all you needed to do was nothing.


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## luckyoldme (20 December 2016)

Flicker said:



			Why on earth should the OP have to 'prove' herself to you?  Or do you ask every poster on this forum to provide verification that they are who they say they are, in case you find their post 'offensive'?

If this is indeed what you dismissively refer to as a 'troll' all this attention is making their day.

However if this is a genuinely frightened mother of a young child who has had a serious accident, you and some of the other posters in here have probably managed to make her unbearable situation even worse.  Quite an achievement.  Hope you're proud.  

When all you needed to do was nothing.
		
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Perfect! 
the world would be a much better place if people just stopped being *****.
Please feel free to make your own appropriate expletive up.


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## Cortez (20 December 2016)

Whether or not the OP is a troll is largely irrelevent. If you think she is, don't bother responding, if she's not some of these posts will have added to the distress. OP, I too had a horse go over backwards on top of me which resulted in a broken femur and various other injuries. I'm a very long way past 10 years old, but 18 months later I am back riding, walking and doing everything as before, so there is a very good prospect of your daughter making a good recovery - I certainly wish her, and you, well. Please don't waste time feeling guilt; horses are dangerous and what happened was an accident, which is not a popular modern way of thinking, but they happen nevertheless. Best wishes to you and your daughter.


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## Blythe Spirit (20 December 2016)

Chyrti said:



			Hello everyone,
....how to do with the horse that I love the most, that I can't look in the eyes anymore, and that I really can't ride right know, even if it makes sense to forgive him, I can't...
		
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I have a small thing to add here. My father was killed in a riding accident falling from a horse we had had for 16 years. Yes I can and I did forgive that horse. And Yes I do care for and even ride that horse many times. The animal is blameless whatever he did he did with no intent to hurt. It was not his fault and it was not yours. Riding is risky. people get hurt doing what they love. I hope she gets better


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## TheOldTrout (20 December 2016)

Velcrobum said:



			OP is online and watching this thread but has not responded to any comments.........
		
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How can you tell people are watching the thread? (Genuine question - I'm too old a trout to be very up with the technology)


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## Flicker (20 December 2016)

Blythe Spirit said:



			I have a small thing to add here. My father was killed in a riding accident falling from a horse we had had for 16 years. Yes I can and I did forgive that horse. And Yes I do care for and even ride that horse many times. The animal is blameless whatever he did he did with no intent to hurt. It was not his fault and it was not yours. Riding is risky. people get hurt doing what they love. I hope she gets better
		
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I am so sorry to hear about your dad.

I absolutely echo what you say about not holding the animal responsible.  They act according to their nature.  Most of the time we are extremely fortunate that their nature allows us to do what we do with them, but sometimes their instincts take over.


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## onemoretime (20 December 2016)

Chyrti said:



			Hello everyone,
Thank you so much for all your messages, you all took the time to answer and it truly means a lot to me. Every day when I wake up I wish this wasn't happening, I wish I was a troll here... But my daughter is not in her room, she is not at the stables, she is not in the house. She really is in the hospital... I'm so sorry to hear that you have problems with people lying on this website, and I can't show you any proof of what I am facing, I don't know how I can do that... I'm a mess right now, I'm just freacking out since the accident, not knowing what to do: surgeons and doctors are really busy, and I can see my little girl 2 to 3 hours a day because the hospital doesn't allow more visits: just family, and not for too long. Next surgery is huge and after this surgery, and only after, we are going to know a little bit more about what the future holds for us and for her and I am so afraid about it: High risks with her vertebrea fractures, really difficult because the only thing that I can do for her is waiting, let the surgeons do their job... You are right, coming here for support maybe wasn't the best idea but I'm so bad with living this situation, that I keep making bad decisions... I can't really answer to you all but I cant say that the horse is OK, and that my husband knew my daughter was riding this horse: It was the only horse that I was trusting, and she was asking if she can ride him for years now, she wasn't juming with him or anything, I really tried to keep her safe. With the fact that she is moving to horses, for jumping and competitions I was going to search a small horse, and she is moving because she is really tall. My foreign language is French. I'm reading and not responding because I don't always have the time and with all the "trolls " comments, I didn't really knew what to respond. I don't understand how people can lie about such a big accident, that's very disrespectful for those that are in need of support and it makes it difficult for you all to know if I am lying or not... Anyway, I really don't know what I should do now, but one more time I apologize for the bad English today. 
If someone know something about injuries that my daughter have, or informations that can help us with helping our injured daughter, my wonderful coach that is really shocked with the accident, or even with how to do with the horse that I love the most, that I can't look in the eyes anymore, and that I really can't ride right know, even if it makes sense to forgive him, I can't...
		
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Hi there OP  firstly I would like to say how very sorry I am about your daughters accident.  When I was 14 (a long time ago) I broke my right neck of femur in a silly tumble, the doctors put it down to the extremely cold weather that day.  I was in hospital for 6 weeks in total, they operated and I had 3 pins put into the break.   I was 4.5 months off school but healed well and used to wiz around on my crutches.

In 1977 when I was 23 I took a crashing fall from a horse and shattered my right femur and again ended up in hospital for 2 months.  I was on traction for 2 weeks before they operated on me as the bruising was extensive and they wanted the blood to soak back into the tissues before cutting my leg open.  I had a very good surgeon and lovely doctors looking after me.  They inserted a Kounchner (sp) nail down inside the bone by making a small incision at the top of my hip and passing the rod down.  The splinters of bone the surgeon tied up with cat gut and a special glue that surgeons use.  I was in traction with weights hanging off the bottom of the bed for a further 4 weeks and then was up on crutches (feeling rather giddy after 6 weeks in bed) and having physio each day.  I then was allowed home as my mother was a nurse and was able to look after me (I wasn't married in those days).  I went to physio 3 times a week and progressed well.  Had 9.5 months off work and then went back to  work with rather a limp which gradually strengthened.  

I am still riding some 40 years later, have a very slight wobble to my walk but nothing I cant live with.  As to ribs I have broken several times, once being knocked over by a horse, another time being squashed against the wall of the lorry by a horse and once by my husband picking me up and swinging me around at a dressage competition when the young horse I was producing won both her classes.  I don't think they were as bad as your daughter, they were certainly very painful but again healed well.

Your daughter is young and with good surgeons and doctors should hopefully heal well.  It does take time to recover from a serious accident even if you are young but each day you will gradually see a little progress.


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## MDB (20 December 2016)

With regard to the OP being French but using feet and inches measures indicating her being a troll, I would like to point out something. Some of you know that I live in Spain. I never had horses in the UK. There are some things of a horse nature that I only know the Spanish words for, not the English words. Is it beyond the realms of possibility that the OP learnt her English in some place that measures feet and inches and she has kept this habit? Whether she is a troll or not, I stand by my first reply to her. If she is genuine she will need all the support she gets. If she isn't then really I won't be losing sleep over it.


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## Karran (20 December 2016)

I don't know if genuine or not but would like to give benefit of doubt and I hope she recovers.

I am 33 and I can only work in feet and inches. Even better if someone gives me a visual aid - size of a double decker bus,  size of Wales etc.


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## GirlFriday (20 December 2016)

Flicker said:



			Why on earth should the OP have to 'prove' herself to you?  Or do you ask every poster on this forum to provide verification that they are who they say they are, in case you find their post 'offensive'?

If this is indeed what you dismissively refer to as a 'troll' all this attention is making their day.

However if this is a genuinely frightened mother of a young child who has had a serious accident, you and some of the other posters in here have probably managed to make her unbearable situation even worse.  Quite an achievement.  Hope you're proud.  

When all you needed to do was nothing.
		
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Oh, no, you've misunderstood about the proving - I was saying that the troll was laying some bait there when (s)he said she didn't know how to prove.

I suggested posting a link to OP's own SJ record as apparently both parents are SJs just to play along with the game without encouraging any pictures of kids or similar to be posted.

I don't usually respond to the troll threads on here when I spot what they are but it has been a tough week or so and so the obscenity of this one felt like something I'd go along with this time. Dances with Trolls etc etc


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## Ladyinred (21 December 2016)

ThursdayNext said:



			Oh, no, you've misunderstood about the proving - I was saying that the troll was laying some bait there when (s)he said she didn't know how to prove.

I suggested posting a link to OP's own SJ record as apparently both parents are SJs just to play along with the game without encouraging any pictures of kids or similar to be posted.

I don't usually respond to the troll threads on here when I spot what they are but it has been a tough week or so and so the obscenity of this one felt like something I'd go along with this time. Dances with Trolls etc etc
		
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I think you are rather an unkind person and am glad I don't have contact with you in real life.

So, you are basically taking out your own frustrations and insecurities on a person who may or may not have a child in a life-threatening condition. Not really very nice, is it?


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## Dave's Mam (21 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			I think you are rather an unkind person and am glad I don't have contact with you in real life.

So, you are basically taking out your own frustrations and insecurities on a person who may or may not have a child in a life-threatening condition. Not really very nice, is it?
		
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Says it all really.


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## GirlFriday (21 December 2016)

I'm fuelling a debate kindly in order to give the troll the oxygen of controversy and attention they are seeking. Very charitable actually 

I may or may not currently have a child in a life threatening situation but it hasn't stopped you being rather deliciously vicious without even having been invited.

Cheers m'dear 

Edited to Add a dishonourable mention for Dave's Mum - *waves*


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## Mike007 (21 December 2016)

I would rather "be made a fool of"a thousand times by a troll,than risk offending a legitimate poster. I know I am not a fool and I hope I am a compassionate human being.Life is hard ,dealing with it is even harder.I wish theOP well troll or not.


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## rachk89 (21 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			I think you are rather an unkind person and am glad I don't have contact with you in real life.

So, you are basically taking out your own frustrations and insecurities on a person who may or may not have a child in a life-threatening condition. Not really very nice, is it?
		
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I am afraid that while you are correct no matter what you say they won't change. You can't polish a turd after all.


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## popsdosh (21 December 2016)

rachk89 said:



			I am afraid that while you are correct no matter what you say they won't change. You can't polish a turd after all.
		
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There you are showing you are no better than the person your condemning really puts you on the moral high ground doesnt it!

I wish the OP a speedy recovery for either their child  or their mind!


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## RaposadeGengibre (21 December 2016)

If OP is a troll, after the last few posts she/he would be having a happy smile showing all 46 teeth.


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## popsdosh (21 December 2016)

RaposadeGengibre said:



			If OP is a troll, after the last few posts she/he would be having a happy smile showing all 46 teeth.
		
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;-) of course!


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## DragonSlayer (21 December 2016)

ThursdayNext said:



			Oh, no, you've misunderstood about the proving - I was saying that the troll was laying some bait there when (s)he said she didn't know how to prove.

I suggested posting a link to OP's own SJ record as apparently both parents are SJs just to play along with the game without encouraging any pictures of kids or similar to be posted.

I don't usually respond to the troll threads on here when I spot what they are but it has been a tough week or so and so the obscenity of this one felt like something I'd go along with this time. Dances with Trolls etc etc
		
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You are asking for links to prove who they are?? What sort of person are you?? Why they hell does it matter anyway to you? If you think they are lying, then ignore it, you have got nothing to lose??

Outrageous....I take people here at face value, if it turns out they are having a spot of fun, I shrug and move on. 

Good god, go find something more interesting to do than start splitting hairs!


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## DragonSlayer (21 December 2016)

Mike007 said:



			I would rather "be made a fool of"a thousand times by a troll,than risk offending a legitimate poster. I know I am not a fool and I hope I am a compassionate human being.Life is hard ,dealing with it is even harder.I wish theOP well troll or not.
		
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Spot on. X


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## Swirlymurphy (21 December 2016)

Mike007 said:



			I would rather "be made a fool of"a thousand times by a troll,than risk offending a legitimate poster. I know I am not a fool and I hope I am a compassionate human being.Life is hard ,dealing with it is even harder.I wish theOP well troll or not.
		
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Absolutely this.  Well said.


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## honetpot (21 December 2016)

Mike007 said:



			I would rather "be made a fool of"a thousand times by a troll,than risk offending a legitimate poster. I know I am not a fool and I hope I am a compassionate human being.Life is hard ,dealing with it is even harder.I wish theOP well troll or not.
		
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Exactly.


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## ycbm (21 December 2016)

And far more likely to be said by a man than a woman. In general, it's not the men who feel utterly betrayed when that find out that the poster is a troll, it's the women. And in general, as on this thread, it's not the men who step in to offer emotional support, so it's an easy thing for most men to say.  Did any men post on this thread except to out it as a troll thread, or to support the poster long AFTER she was accused of trolling by Popsdosh, followed up by several others with bits of knowledge that the content was unlikely to be true? IE  the men supported her against the troll accusation, not because of the damaged child. They are not emotionally engaged about the damaged child, only about the injustice of being called a troll if you aren't one. They therefore aren't in any position to judge how damaging it is to some people to find out that they have been conned with a horrible story like this one, as has happened several times in the past.

I hope the child, if she exists, is on her way back to full health.


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## jojo5 (21 December 2016)

Somebody mentioned that there are more troll type posts at Christmas. Anyone working in the public pastoral sector will experience the huge difficulties faced by all sorts of people at this time when in theory everybody is apparently supposed to be warm, safe, smiling, and spending loads of money on beautiful gifts whilst being hugged by warm, smiling, safe members of their family............
Compassion should be the focus here.


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## milliepops (21 December 2016)

Mike007 said:



			I would rather "be made a fool of"a thousand times by a troll,than risk offending a legitimate poster. I know I am not a fool and I hope I am a compassionate human being.Life is hard ,dealing with it is even harder.I wish theOP well troll or not.
		
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^^ this for me too. 
And as for emotional buy-in between female or male contributors to the forum (!), I do think that it's worth taking a step back and asking why anyone gets SO involved with a poster they haven't met, that they'd feel anything other than a bit bemused if it turned out to be something other than 100% genuine?
Chances are you'll never meet the troll, when one is outed, so what is making anyone feel SO bad for being 'fooled'?  The only person who comes out looking like a wally is the troll. 

I think this is a wonderfully supportive place at times, but many of us are strangers to each other  - a little bit of emotional distance is probably sensible, but doesn't stop anyone from offering help and compassion.


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## Luci07 (21 December 2016)

jojo5 said:



			Somebody mentioned that there are more troll type posts at Christmas. Anyone working in the public pastoral sector will experience the huge difficulties faced by all sorts of people at this time when in theory everybody is apparently supposed to be warm, safe, smiling, and spending loads of money on beautiful gifts whilst being hugged by warm, smiling, safe members of their family............
Compassion should be the focus here.
		
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So true. No one really has that American totally blissful break and it makes so many people unhappy striving to achieve this nirvana. Christmas heightens all sort of emotions so a little compassion goes a long way. And if this is a troll...you can simply roll on. Having visited a close friend yesterday who has so much to deal with right now, it was a sharp reminder of what Christmas should represent.


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## popsdosh (21 December 2016)

jojo5 said:



			Somebody mentioned that there are more troll type posts at Christmas. Anyone working in the public pastoral sector will experience the huge difficulties faced by all sorts of people at this time when in theory everybody is apparently supposed to be warm, safe, smiling, and spending loads of money on beautiful gifts whilst being hugged by warm, smiling, safe members of their family............
Compassion should be the focus here.
		
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Of course it may just simply somebody with lots of their time on their hands ,bored  and having a laugh.


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## Gloi (21 December 2016)

This thread has reminded me just what unpleasant people there are on this forum and why I rarely visit these days. Just ignore anything that may be a troll rather than show yourself up.


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## PaddyMonty (21 December 2016)

Either the OP is genuine in which case she has my sympathy or she is a troll in which case she also has my sympathy. Simple.


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## JJS (21 December 2016)

I'm surprised anyone would risk making such an awful situation worse purely to avoid looking like a fool if the OP is a troll. Kindness costs nothing, and at the end of the day, if someone is lonely enough to make up a story like this to get the attention they're so lacking, I pity them still, and hope that their fortunes begin to look up soon, one way or another.


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## Amirah (22 December 2016)

Chyrti, I hope today's surgery goes well, will say a prayer for you.


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## Chyrti (26 December 2016)

Hello everyone, 
Thank you so much Amirah. I saw all your messages and wanted to say thank you for the support, and that I'm really sorry for those who talked about their friends or family passing or getting hurt. It's hard to say that everyone is celebrating Christmas and that we are not. Thursday's surgery didn't went very good, my daughter just had another massive surgery yesterday, in another hospital with another surgeon. She is in an induced coma right now to help her body to rest but the surgeon just said that she has no permanent damage to the spine: We are praying for a complete recovery


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## poiuytrewq (26 December 2016)

That sounds quite positive op. Thoughts are with you x


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## russianhorse (26 December 2016)

OP, just wising your daughter a speedy recovery xx


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## Amirah (26 December 2016)

I was listening to an interview on our local radio with a guy who had been put into an induced coma after a horrific motorcycle accident that broke many bones (I think he only had three unbroken ribs). He has made a complete recovery despite horrendous injuries, internal bleeding etc. 

He said that he could hear people reading to him and could tell them what they'd read when he was woken up, so keep talking to her. 

The human body is an incredible thing, and I'm sure that many of us are remembering her in our prayers.


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## KittenInTheTree (26 December 2016)

Best wishes, OP.


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## ycbm (26 December 2016)

Chyrti this latest update sounds terrible. She must have been in a life threatening state for them to have done an orthopaedic operation on Christmas day and have been put into a coma. They don't usually put people into an induced coma, because of the serious risks, unless they are brain damaged, fitting or unable to breathe without ventilation by machine. I assume it's the breathing as you weren't aware of any head injuries at first?  Are they letting you visit for more than three hours in this new hospital?

I hope you are able to come back with a more promising update soon.


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## mle22 (26 December 2016)

Thinking of you x


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## glamourpuss (26 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Chyrti this latest update sounds terrible. She must have been in a life threatening state for them to have done an orthopaedic operation on Christmas day and have been put into a coma. They don't usually put people into an induced coma, because of the serious risks, unless they are brain damaged, fitting or unable to breathe without ventilation by machine. I assume it's the breathing as you weren't aware of any head injuries at first?  Are they letting you visit for more than three hours in this new hospital?

I hope you are able to come back with a more promising update soon.
		
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Actually after a large orthopaedic operation (which bilateral femural mailings would be!) they can keep patients asleep for quite a while afterwards. It helps pain management & after losing lots of blood enables them get them the patient stable & warm.


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## ycbm (26 December 2016)

glamourpuss said:



			Actually after a large orthopaedic operation (which bilateral femural mailings would be!) they can keep patients asleep for quite a while afterwards. It helps pain management & after losing lots of blood enables them get them the patient stable & warm.
		
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How long is 'quite a while'? It's been a whole day now and I've read that keeping patients in an induced coma is very dangerous.  Perhaps you are talking about heavy sedation and not an induced coma with bare minimum brain function?

Would they operate on broken legs on Christmas day, six days after they were broken? OP said the surgeon said her spinal cord was fine, so I assumed it was a spine op as she didn't mention the legs, and it was so serious they did it on Christmas day.

I'm sure we'll get a more promising update soon. Children heal fast.


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## blitznbobs (26 December 2016)

1 day is not long ... Can be 3 or 4 days excruciating pain is not good for healing you want some stress on the system but not too much... Keeping the patient under is also considered kinder - especially in kids.


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## ycbm (26 December 2016)

blitznbobs said:



			1 day is not long ... Can be 3 or 4 days excruciating pain is not good for healing you want some stress on the system but not too much... Keeping the patient under is also considered kinder - especially in kids.
		
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heavy sedation or induced coma? They aren't the same. One is dangerous, the other not so much.


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## onemoretime (26 December 2016)

Chyrti said:



			Hello everyone, 
Thank you so much Amirah. I saw all your messages and wanted to say thank you for the support, and that I'm really sorry for those who talked about their friends or family passing or getting hurt. It's hard to say that everyone is celebrating Christmas and that we are not. Thursday's surgery didn't went very good, my daughter just had another massive surgery yesterday, in another hospital with another surgeon. She is in an induced coma right now to help her body to rest but the surgeon just said that she has no permanent damage to the spine: We are praying for a complete recovery
		
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  so glad to hear there is no permanent damage to her spine.  I hope she will soon be awake and improves each day.


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## Dizzydancer (26 December 2016)

They do indeed keep people in an induced coma (not heavily sedated) post op for many reasons. 
They also will operate on unstable spinal fractures/other necessary ortho conditions whenever is appropriate (often immediately post injury isn't the appropriate time)- I think the OPs dht has been in a coma throughout the duration- if they were worried regarding the spine but didn't want to operate as needed swelling etc to subside first they will have put in coma to prevent child moving unneccesarily. 
A medically induced coma is an excellent tool that many medics use in many situations the benefits outway the risks hugely- not sure where you heard the risks are to great for them to do so ycbm. 
OP I'm with those who would prefer to give sympathy and be made a fool rather than those who will assume. 
I hope your child makes a full recovery- no spinal cord damage is excellent and she will likely recover from the other injuries with plenty of time and no/min long lasting effects


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## Flicker (26 December 2016)

OP, my thoughts are with you and your family at this very difficult time.  I sincerely hope that this episode will pass and your daughter makes a full recovery.


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## blitznbobs (26 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			heavy sedation or induced coma? They aren't the same. One is dangerous, the other not so much.
		
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I used to be a intensive care anaesthetist ... There isn't that much difference and heavy sedation is usually more dangerous than anaesthetic because you lose control of the airway. And you can't control the co2 levels with sedation easily but you can with a tube down.


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## ycbm (26 December 2016)

I'm misinformed, obviously. Let's hope for a better update soon.


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## rachk89 (26 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			I'm misinformed, obviously. Let's hope for a better update soon.
		
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Yeah wouldn't worry about it. Pretty sure i have heard of people being kept in induced comas for a couple of weeks before but those are usually head injuries.


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## Chyrti (30 December 2016)

Thank you so much for the support. My daughter is still in this induced coma, she had surgery again: 10 screws and a plate in her back and they did surgery on her right femur because she has infection. I have a daily appointment with a psychiatrist to help me mentally because seeing my only child in this situation is so hard, I can't take it alone I have to talk to someone about it. The surgeon said that they are going to wake her up very soon and I don't know how she is going to react, I want her to be awake because seeing her in a coma is hard but I don't want her to suffer... It is going to be very difficult for her because she's not really allowed to move... 
If someone know how I can help her when she is going to be awake, please tell me


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## honetpot (30 December 2016)

I have worked in intensive care, and have a bit of experience of childs ITU. When she comes off the ventilator if they are not assessing her head injury she may be still be fairly drowsy from the pain medication, they will want to keep her pain free to enable to more as much as possible although her movement will be restricted.
  I would take simple things for her to do and see. There may be restrictions on toys, as for infection control they have to be easily cleanable. The boy I know who fell off his pony and broke his back had a picture of his pony at the end of the bed and the rosette he won that day, his dad was not pleased, but until the accident he had had a lovely day. In some respects I think you just have answer questions simply and not worry her with your fears. She may have no memory of the accident so I would concentrate on the future, keeping her engaged and motivated. Think about how her favourite clothes can be adapted to cover her casts when she starts getting up, get a catalogue and look for something new to wear, music etc. One child I looked after loved John Travalota(70's) ,so we had all his pictures pinned round her bed, his name was the first thing she said after her accident when she came out of ITU. Its too soon to worry about what the long term consequences are, think a day at a time, you may in turmoil inside but children do heal well, and adapt. I care for children who have life threatening/ limiting  conditions and they are in a normal school and do all the ordinary school things.
  Every parent feels guilt when their child is ill, even when the illness could not have been prevented. I think you need to get support from other parents, perhaps look for a local group. If its a good hospital there will be some sort of specialist nurses who liaise  with parents, depending what continuing care she needs. Birmingham Children's Hospital have some excellent information for parents, specialist teams have Twitter accounts so you can get general information and advice without being a patient.https://twitter.com/Bham_Childrens
   I would have a look at your nearest specialist children's hospital and see what support groups they have. You are going to have a busy time, its the unknowing thats the hard bit.


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## attheponies (30 December 2016)

Just wanted to say thinking of you and your daughter. I'm a mum and can only imagine what you are going through. Every time my kids fell off a pony I felt racked with guilt for introducing them to riding. Keeping everything crossed for you.


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## Gloi (30 December 2016)

Thinking of you. I'm sure they are doing their best for her and she'll keep improving.


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## Spiritedly (30 December 2016)

10 screws and a plate sounds like her back injury must have been horrendous! When the swelling went down was it more serious than the surgeon on Christmas day thought? Hopefully there will be no other complications and they will be able to wake her up soon. I think having a hurt or sick child and being unable to help is every parents worse nightmare.


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## ycbm (30 December 2016)

Honetpot, the OP has never mentioned a head injury, I don't think?

CS, It's not necessarily quite as bad as it sounds. I have seven screws in a straightforward broken arm.

Chyrti, why are you alone? Where is/are your husband and your daughter's father? I'm glad you have been able to find a therapist who is able to see you every day (not a psychiatrist, surely?, they deal with mental illness, not support of the kind you need) but it's no substitute for people who you are in a close relationship with. Have you no other family to support you?

I'm sure you will have better news soon.


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## Leo Walker (30 December 2016)

Ladyinred said:



			I think you are rather an unkind person and am glad I don't have contact with you in real life.

So, you are basically taking out your own frustrations and insecurities on a person who may or may not have a child in a life-threatening condition. Not really very nice, is it?
		
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DragonSlayBells said:



			You are asking for links to prove who they are?? What sort of person are you?? Why they hell does it matter anyway to you? If you think they are lying, then ignore it, you have got nothing to lose??

Outrageous....I take people here at face value, if it turns out they are having a spot of fun, I shrug and move on. 

Good god, go find something more interesting to do than start splitting hairs!
		
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Couldnt agree more!




PaddyMonty said:



			Either the OP is genuine in which case she has my sympathy or she is a troll in which case she also has my sympathy. Simple.
		
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Dave's Mam said:



			It takes the same length of time to post some support as it does to try & annihilate a poster's character.  Go easy folks.
		
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This!



Dizzydancer said:



			A medically induced coma is an excellent tool that many medics use in many situations the benefits outway the risks hugely- not sure where you heard the risks are to great for them to do so ycbm.
		
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She heard about the risks when she was doing her extensive medical training. The same medical training that shes using to continue her snide questioning. 

For the record when I smashed myself to pieces I posted on a forum very soon afterwards. In fact when I was in the initial assessment phase in A&E I dictated some emails to a friend, which were sent out to people letting them know I'd had an accident. I was in a hell of a state but it helped me by giving me something to focus on and making me feel I was doing something when I felt so very helpless. I'm pretty sure in the OPs shoes I'd be doing similar.

I really hope your daughter recovers. Its going to be hard, but you will be able to get through this and there will be better things on the other side no matter what the outcome


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## honetpot (31 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			How long is 'quite a while'? It's been a whole day now and I've read that keeping patients in an induced coma is very dangerous.  Perhaps you are talking about heavy sedation and not an induced coma with bare minimum brain function?

Would they operate on broken legs on Christmas day, six days after they were broken? OP said the surgeon said her spinal cord was fine, so I assumed it was a spine op as she didn't mention the legs, and it was so serious they did it on Christmas day.

I'm sure we'll get a more promising update soon. Children heal fast.
		
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 Patients are sedated and ventilated for more than one reason, and the amount and type of sedation varies but most people are unconscious or they 'fight' the ventilator. You can also set the ventilator so it allows the patient to breath and the ventilator assists the breathing but its usual to put them fully unconscious, as at the start its easier to regulate and make sure they are getting enough oxygen. Being on a ventilator should be seen as part of the treatment, in larger hospitals there will be a lot of ventilated patients, and shouldn't always be seen has how ill they are, if you have major planned surgery you will be taken to ITU for a visit pre op to meet the nurses so when you wake up there you will know what to expect.  Patients are constantly monitored and unlike what you see on TV they are never left alone. 

Peoples injuries are treated in an order that treats the most life threatening first. To take someone to theatre they in an ideal situation should be stable unless not operating would make their condition  worse, its quite common for fractures, to be further down the to do list if they have been assessed and immobilised. Over Christmas there would be emergency cover in theatre and it may be she was stable and a theatre time spare as there were not many cases on the emergency list, or its was just their first opportunity to do it, who knows. Most theatres in big hospitals work 24/7 with emergency lists.

  By the sounds of it she is getting good treatment and when they start to wean her off the ventilator she will remember nothing and can start working towards getting well under her own steam.


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## mytwofriends (31 December 2016)

Be strong for your daughter, OP. Children are remarkable healers, and there's nothing more healing than a mother's love. Remember to look after yourself too.


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## popsdosh (31 December 2016)

FrankieCob said:



			Couldnt agree more!






This!



She heard about the risks when she was doing her extensive medical training. The same medical training that shes using to continue her snide questioning. 

For the record when I smashed myself to pieces I posted on a forum very soon afterwards. In fact when I was in the initial assessment phase in A&E I dictated some emails to a friend, which were sent out to people letting them know I'd had an accident. I was in a hell of a state but it helped me by giving me something to focus on and making me feel I was doing something when I felt so very helpless. I'm pretty sure in the OPs shoes I'd be doing similar.

I really hope your daughter recovers. Its going to be hard, but you will be able to get through this and there will be better things on the other side no matter what the outcome 

Click to expand...

You are getting sucked in by the thread into perpetuating a personal Vendetta Why?  They are legitimate questions as there are glaring inconsistencies which I wont elaborate on because this is not the place.

The one positive so far even though their daughter is so ill (I wish them well) is their English has improved beyond recognition!


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## blitznbobs (31 December 2016)

You got a DAILY appointment with a psychiatrist now that I don't believe is possible in the UK. unless you are paying for it of course


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## SpringArising (31 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?
		
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ycbm said:



			Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real
		
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YCBM you are coming across as a bit strange. I don't understand why this is so important to you.



milliepops said:



			I do think that it's worth taking a step back and asking why anyone gets SO involved with a poster they haven't met, that they'd feel anything other than a bit bemused if it turned out to be something other than 100% genuine?
		
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Makes you wonder!


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## Leo Walker (31 December 2016)

popsdosh said:



			You are getting sucked in by the thread into perpetuating a personal Vendetta Why?  They are legitimate questions as there are glaring inconsistencies which I wont elaborate on because this is not the place.
		
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I dont have a personal vendetta. That doesnt mean I cant actively dislike the way some people behave. But I wont be getting sucked in.

The main point of my post was to share my experience with a vaguely similar thing.


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## ycbm (31 December 2016)

Can I please ask people to note that they are writing about posts which are yonks old, that the thread had  moved on from ages ago? 

Honetpot, thank you for that explanation, it was interesting.  But you didn't notice that I had already accepted that the post you quoted was misinformed and the thread had moved on long ago.

FrankieCob, I would appreciate it if you could either take me off user ignore, or stop posting about things that other people have responded to that you have never seen and that I corrected a long time ago. I'm sure someone else will pass this message to you for me.

I find it very interesting how this thread seems to have become more about me than a sick child and a distraught parent.  I did not ask for this and I do not want it. If the situation is for real, then this must be incredibly hurtful to the OP to have this dragged up again when she had ignored it and moved on from it and posted further updates.  

It is you people who are picking up old posts and repeating them that are causing this hurt, not me.


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## SpringArising (31 December 2016)

ycbm said:



			I find it very interesting how this thread seems to have become more about me than a sick child and a distraught parent.  I did not ask for this and I do not want it. If the situation is for real, then this must be incredibly hurtful to the OP to have this dragged up again when she had ignored it and moved on from it and posted further updates.  

It is you people who are picking up old posts and repeating them that are causing this hurt, not me.
		
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You didn't seem to care when you were questioning her motives and posts over and over!


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## marotelle (31 December 2016)

<<<<this...



Ladyinred said:



			This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.
		
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## Chyrti (25 May 2017)

Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time since I posted the last update but I wanted to let you know that my daughter is doing well, she is at home and we are taking care of her. She still is in a wheelchair but she is on the road to full recovery. She is slowly learning how to walk again, we are hoping to see her walking on her own in a few month. She is going to school every day and she is working really hard with the physiotherapist to get better. 

I really wanted to thank everybody that wrote kind messages of support back in december when I was so afraid and lonely. Thank you so much.


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## Fiona (25 May 2017)

How lovely to get an update,  thank you OP and best wishes to you and your daughter for her continued recovery  x x 

Fiona


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## Gloi (25 May 2017)

Best wishes, I hope she continues to recover well.


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## Lintel (25 May 2017)

Glad to hear it OP. All the best.


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## OldNag (25 May 2017)

That's good news.I hope she continues to recover well.


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## Ladyinred (25 May 2017)

Chyrti said:



			Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time since I posted the last update but I wanted to let you know that my daughter is doing well, she is at home and we are taking care of her. She still is in a wheelchair but she is on the road to full recovery. She is slowly learning how to walk again, we are hoping to see her walking on her own in a few month. She is going to school every day and she is working really hard with the physiotherapist to get better. 

I really wanted to thank everybody that wrote kind messages of support back in december when I was so afraid and lonely. Thank you so much.
		
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How strange. I was wondering about this earlier today.. and here you are.

All best wishes for a continued recovery. x


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## GirlFriday (25 May 2017)

Oh, and half term and study leave just coming up as well - what perfect timing!


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## Flicker (25 May 2017)

So glad to hear your good news.  Please pass well wishes to your daughter.


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## Dave's Mam (25 May 2017)

I hope she continues to recover.


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## mytwofriends (26 May 2017)

That's wonderful to hear. So glad things are looking up. Thanks for updating us, OP.


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## VRIN (26 May 2017)

Posted in error


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## marotelle (27 May 2017)

Oh good, I am glad your daughter is better,thank you for updating us and I hope
the road to recovery will not be to lengthy.


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## honetpot (27 May 2017)

Great to here.


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