# Euthanasia, be there while it happens?



## Spellbound13 (16 May 2011)

hey guys
sorry for the morbid subject, but my 11 year old new forrest has been a suffer of recurring laminitis for about 5 years now since he was poisoned and went into liver failour, anyway he is a very poorly boy, the bute seems to no longer give him relife and the spark in his eyes have gone he just seems very misserable.
I know its time to let go.
i was just wondering if anyone has been there with their horse at the end when they are euthanised, I think I would like to be but I know it will be very traumatic, any advice or experiences would be appreciated?
thank you


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## Sanolly (16 May 2011)

My YO's old TB was PTS in January following a suspected brain tumour. "D" and I were there for the actual 'deed' then D left me to deal with the collection. The old girl was PTS with the injection, if you wish I can give you a detailed account?


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## Sanolly (16 May 2011)

I'm heading off to bed now so will send you a detailed private message. If you feel it will upset you then feel free to just delete it. Big hugs to you hun, this is by far the worst part of owning any animal


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## LittleWildOne (16 May 2011)

Hi Spellbound13,
I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in and my thoughts are with you. 
6 weeks ago, my 5 year old pony suddenly became very ill. I got a phone call at work on the Friday to tell me she had lost her foal and was very ill herself. That on its own was traumatic itself. I rushed home from work to be with her. My vet was with us for nearly 3 hours that night. He wasn't the "on call" vet that night, but gave me his personal mobile number to call him if I needed to. I stayed with her all night, sitting in the stable with her. During the night she improved then deteriorated on and off. At 7.30am the next morning, my vet came back out and was with us again for 2 1/2 hours. He referred her to the equine hospital. Despite being so ill, she loaded easily into a trailer. She had never been in a trailer before. At the equine hospital she underwent lots of tests and stood like an angel while the vets worked with her. She had come wild from the New Forest when I bought her as a 2 year old. She was put in a stable and put on an IV drip, and I left her there while the vets waited for blood test results. A short while later, the vet rang me with bad news. All of the tests pointed to Acute Grass Sickness. I asked the vet, "can I see her before she goes ?". With my sister and her partner, we went back to the equine hospital. She was lying down in a lovely shavings bed, she looked so comfortable. I went in beside her and sat there talking to her, stroking her and giving her a cuddle that she always loved to have. After a few minutes, I asked her to stand up and then led her round to "the box". She walked in there happily and again, I stood with her for a few minutes just talking to her, stroking and cuddling her. Then I looked at the vet and nodded. Due to H&S reasons at the hospital, I wasn't allowed to stand with her while the vet injected her. I stood at the door talking to her the whole time. I told her she was a good girl and that she could go back to her foal now. As she already had a catheter in her neck from the IV drip, she didn't feel anything as the vet injected the drugs into the catheter. The whole time, I carried on talking to her. She went down quickly but quietly, and I was able to go back in beside her once she was lying down. The vet told me to stay away from her legs, and that she might gasp. Any movement then would have been involuntary as her heart had stopped beating. I sat with her for a while, stroking her, talking to her and gave her a kiss on her face. Then my sister, her partner and I all hugged each other and cried, even the vet had tears in his eyes. Before I left her, knowing that I would never see her again, I cut off a lock of her mane.
I'm so glad that I stayed with her. During the whole time, she was calm and relaxed. She was happy and knew that the person she loved and trusted so much was there with her right to her very last breath. We had shared exactly 3 beautiful years together, and the best thing I ever did for her was to be there with her right to the very end. The following day, I took her foal's little body to the Pet Crematorium. It was like a funeral service, for both of them. 
The whole time I was with her, from Friday evening to Saturday afternoon, I felt a stange calmness about the whole thing. None of the time I was with her felt traumatic in the slightest. Afterwards however, I cried for days, weeks. I had excellent support though from my friends and family to help in any way they could. 
She will always have a place in my heart, my little wild pony, my beautiful Princess, and I miss her like crazy.
To help heal the pain of losing her and her foal, but never to replace her, I decided to look for a new pony straight away. It has only been only 6 weeks. 
Tomorrow though, I'm off down to the New Forest for a few days. I have found my new pony. I'm going down there to meet her for the first time, to buy her, and she will be coming home on Thursday. It will be very emotional for me, but I'm doing it for my beautiful Princess who is now running free in heaven with her little colt foal. Forever Free, Forever Together, Forever Young. R.I.P. My Beautiful Angels XXX


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## jroz (16 May 2011)

I have been present for the euthanasia of both horses and smaller animals. I don't think I could NOT be there at the end, when they needed a familiar face the most. You have to do what's right for you though.


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## EQUISCENE (16 May 2011)

I have been there for both my oldies, one was injected the other shot. Suprisingly I found the injection method far more traumatic as first the horse was sedated and then injected where as the shooting was far quicker.  I was not there for either collection.


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## appylass (16 May 2011)

I've been there for most of mine that have been PTS, and also some belonging to friends who chose to stay away. I do think it helps the animal, especially if the person putting them to sleep is unfamiliar. I consider my self fortunate to have been brought up on a farm seeing large animals euthanased since I was small so there is no fear of the unknown. It isn't the nicest experience but the sense of 'seeing it through to the end' is important to me and somehow I always feel relieved I did stay. I have seen both methods used and personally would choose shooting if possible. I don't feel that people who can't be there are wrong at all, it is a very personal choice and you should do exactly what feels right to you no matter what anyone says. 

If you would like me to tell you exactly what happens I'm happy to do that. I think it really helps if you know what to expect.

I hope it goes smoothly and well done for putting your boy's needs before your own, he will thank you for that.


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## misst (16 May 2011)

I have been there twice. Both times heartbreaking as one was 8 and one was 12 and both much much loved.
For me I am very glad that I stayed. Both times PTS at their regular yard in their own field by a vet they knew. Both by injection.

Despite both my daughter and I crying buckets and buckets of tears it was very peaceful. We just sort of "leaked" tears but no loud crying or upset for the horses. I feel they knew we were there right to the end. It was not scary for them or us and we knew what had happened which helped us. 

Both times they were heavily sedated and then the lethal injection was given. No struggling or frightening things at all. Just a peaceful collapse to the floor whilst we spoke and stroked them.
We then sat with them until the lorry came to take them away. My OH who was not so emotionally attatched dealt with that along with our lovely vet.

I am sorry that you have to make this hard decision but whilst it may be awful for you, it is wonderful for him to have such a brave owner. I wish you peace whatever you decide.


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## MissTyc (16 May 2011)

We just sort of "leaked" tears but no loud crying or upset for the horses.
		
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I can relate to this. I too leak tears and will hold the horse until the end. When my old beloved was PTS I was asked to step away and I basically growled and dared them to try to make me step away *bit embarrassed in retrospect!* .... I hold them till they're gone and stay with them until they're picked up. I don't know why but I don't want anyone else there, touching and handling my dead horse and it reassures me to meet every person involved. Once the body is gone that's it for me. I don't ask for ashes, I don't think about what happens next, I just allow myself to finally sob.


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## ruth83 (16 May 2011)

I have dealt with a number of horses being PTS, by both methods, as part of my job. 
I would recommend that, even if you feel able to be present whilst your horse is PTS, you are not their when they are collected. Perhaps leave them as the lorry arrives. The collection CAN be very difficult. It is also easier for the collectors if you are not there. 

If you wish to be there whilst the vet euthanases your horse try to make sure you understand what is going to happen - vets are usually happy to talk you through it. It is VERY normal for horses to appear to move and breathe after they have been PTS. These are normal, the horses heart will have stopped and they have no awareness/feeling of what is happening but certain body functions take longer to cease and muscle spasms are not uncommon. 

****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION WHICH MAY UPSET FOLLOWS****
I was present with a horse who was being shot for a combination of reasons. I won't go into the details of what happened when the horse was shot (if anyone really wants to know to help them make a decision on this then PM me) but the horse had been down for 2 or 3 minutes, it was obvious that a clean shot had been made and the horse was clearly dead, the vet had also done all the necessary checks to make sure the horse was gone. The vet and I were chatting and preparing a tarp to cover the horse until he could be collected when the horses body moved, this was a severe muscle spasm which happened in such a way that the body really looked like the horse was trying to get up - the front end came right up and almost 'sat up' whilst the back legs bent under the horse - then it stopped and went back to laying down. If you were not aware that this might happen and did not understand that the horse was completely dead at this point it could have been very disturbing and upsetting. 
****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OVER*********

Well done for making the right decision for your horse. It will be difficult to make the right decision for you but think it through the best you can and don't feel guilty or bad for whichever decision you make. 
If you want any further information just PM me.


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## Tormenta (16 May 2011)

I have always stayed at the end, be it with pets or ponies, I feel I owe it to them.  I left before the body was taken away though, although I met the man who was collecting and he kindly waited until I had got in the car and gone home. I personally do not want to see that part of it. Can I also add that they sometimes expel air and have 'bowel movements' after they have gone so be prepared for that. My husband went back up later and cleared up where she had gone to sleep, I had no idea there was anything there until he told me some time later (It must have happened after we left and when they were about to move her).

I'm sorry you are facing this but be comforted in the fact you have given him care and love.


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## Maesfen (16 May 2011)

I'm always there with my animals at the end and for the whole process (shot) until they have left the yard or been buried in the case of dogs (injected).  My animals, my responsibility so I must deal with it however unpleasant the thought but it's never stopped me being there for them and TBH, it's never unpleasant because it means their suffering is at an end.
I'm sorry for your boy, it's no age but he'll thank you for your compassion and you must cherish your memories of your time together.

ETA, MissTyc said it so much better than I did, that's exactly how I feel.


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## NOISYGIRL (16 May 2011)

I wasn't there when my pony was put to sleep few years back, I think I'd like to be there for the horse I have now, he is 32, its something you do think about.

I had the unfortunate task of being there when my friends pony was pts, she was a wreck, we'd gone to the field to get them and he wouldn't come, we walked down towards him and I told her not to come any further and to ring the vet, I just knew, his leg was hanging off from below the knee down, I had to support her and stay with him and keep him calm, which I did until the end, her husband had arrived by then and the vet it was horrific to see his leg but the actual pts was very calm and now having seen it I think I would want to stay with mine, he was injected as was my pony, as will my horse.  I couldnt' stay if he was being shot, which I wouldn't do


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## riding_high (16 May 2011)

i've been present when other peoples horses have either been shot or injected and i could handle that however i couldn't be there for my own animals. i've been very lucky in that my OH has a hands on roll with all animals during their life and that he will be there for them at the end so they have a familiar face with them. also they think it's great as he is the one that spoils them rotten with treats unlike me who makes them work!
i don't think i could hold it together long enough to be there for my own and i also have to be aware that my kids would be around somewhere so would need to be sure they kept away.


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## blazen ashe (16 May 2011)

I had to have my 33 yr old mare put to sleep in Jan this yr and like you I knew the time had come ...I could see it in her eyes.Both me and my daughter were with her at the end and I am so pleased we were...she fell quite gracefully and with dignity...we stayed with her for a while afterwards,it was incredibly sad,we cried buckets and I still shed tears for her but  it was not as bad as I was anticipating as I had heard so many bad thing about injections especially with old horses.
I did find having a shot of brandy helped me get thru the day.
I really feel for you having to go thru this but it's the last act of love you can do for your pony.


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## joeanne (16 May 2011)

Horses for courses....some people can do it, others can't. 
I always have, I think its calming for them to have someone they know and trust with them at the end.


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## BBH (16 May 2011)

I haven't been present for my horses death as he dropped like a stone when I was away the weekend.

However for one of my dogs I did see him PTS and it was the most tranquil thing and I'm really glad I could hold it together for him at that time. The vet told me to talk to him as he slipped away and his heart just stopped. It all made it seem ' real' and I was able to deal with it a little easier ( I don't deal with death very well ).

Its such a personal choice though.


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## StrawberryFish (16 May 2011)

When my old boy was PTS the vet was very keen to emphasise to me that sometimes they fight it and they can rear up and get very stressed as the drug begins to work and she had to move me back to hold the end of the lead line too as my instinct was to hug his head as she injected him. I was very scared that he would be one of those that panicked but thank fully he didn't. I had to be there and found it very difficult to leave his body. However had he freaked out and his last moments been awful and stressful I think I would feel very differently and it would have upset me massively and for a very long time.  I am so glad I was there and couldn't have left him for those final moments. I am very sentimental and he was buried with his girlfriends headcollar on and as many rossettes as I could fit on the headcollar.
(am crying now - it was 7 years ago now and it is still quite upsetting to think about, had his end not been as peaceful as it was I dread to think how I would be feeling right now)
Sorry if that was a bit garbled


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## dibbin (16 May 2011)

I wish I had been there for Dylan. I was in an exam when the decision was made and it would have been cruel to keep him alive until I got home. I took a lot of comfort from the fact that my YM was there for him until the end, when I couldn't be.


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## hayinamanger (16 May 2011)

I am always there with mine.  I could never walk away from them and let someone else hold them.

I want the last voice they hear to be mine, talking quietly and giving them a carrot.  I prefer to have them shot, it's instant, they're gone before they hit the ground.


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## lily1 (16 May 2011)

I was there with both of my horses one was 24 and had terrible arthritis the other 17 months old and sinus cancer its heartbreaking but a personal decision. the older horse was put down at home and I held him till the end then went indoors while he was put on the lorry .....that bit is horrible to see but I did come out when he was on the lorry and kissed him goodbye. The young horse was at the vets and hadnt been home for 3 months so we said our goodbyes and he was pts in one of the paddocks.


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## Spellbound13 (17 May 2011)

Hiya Everyone

thanks for sharing your stories with me.
I think I do want to be there at the end with him, he is a nerviouse horse as it is, esp with other strangers.
I think this subject should be spoken about more often afterall we arnt all lucky enough to prepare for it.


I dont really know how to use this thing yet ool, but if anyone could send me details that have said they would, then my email add is spelbound13@yahoo.co.uk

thank you Amy


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## Spellbound13 (18 May 2011)

thank you for sharing your story.
i know it will have been difficult for you.
i think im lucky that i have had time to prepare xx


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## Spellbound13 (18 May 2011)

aww bless, im in no doubts i will cry and cry and cry, but at the same time, it will be a liberating experience i think, as i cant stand seeing him in pain like he is now xx


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## oscarwild (18 May 2011)

I had my horse PTS in December after he deteriorated with pelvic problems.

I took him in that morning and he wouldnt eat his breakfast and really wasnt himself at all.  The vet came out and we went off and discussed exactly what was going to happen and how long I was going to stay with him.  We sedated him as he wasnt good with needles at the best of time. Once sedated a catheter was put in so it was better if he was a pain to get the anesthetic into him.  But the poor boy stood like a lamb for the first time in his life.  I then knew he was happy to go.  Once the catheter was in I spend 5 mins with him saying my final good bye.  When I was ready I walked him to where he was PTS but I went into YO house before he was injected. ( I wanted to be there but when the time came I couldnt be there) Once it was done I checked him out the window and the vet came in to see him.  There was lots of tears and my OH was working away so my YO and liveries gave me the support I needed until my OH got home a few weeks later.
I wasnt there when he was taken away as I felt that was going to be the hardest thing. 

But all I can say to you, is that you will know exactly whats right to do for you and your horse and nothing else matters.  What ever you decide will be the right thing and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.  But I do recommend that you arn't there when the body is taken away.  Take care


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## YasandCrystal (18 May 2011)

My daughter's horse broke his hind leg above the hock at home. She was riding him and he started napping - something he had never done. Luckily a friend was teaching her and told her to dismount as my daughter looked scared (she was 13 and he was 16.2hh TB).
My friend literally sent him forward on the lunge and after 2 paces of walk and he collapsed like he had a heart attack and was heaving on his side and wouldn't get up.

I came up and prayed he wouldn't die there and then, thinking he had had a heart attack of course not realising he had broken his leg. He got up and the next hour and a half were the longest in my life. I was hysterical with the horror of his broken leg swinging (just above the hock)- it was surreal and he wouldn't stand still and  careered around the paddock; the vet took forever to come. My poor daughter was distraught.
Sadly I couldn't stay for his euthanasing. It was just too much, too shocking and sad and his old farrier (my hubby is one but was miles away at the time) very kindly was there with him at the end.
I think I would definately bethere for a planned end; if I could be, but everyone is different and copes with grief in different ways.


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## topclass (18 May 2011)

5 years ago 6th July  I had to have my 36 year old TB PTS he had a brain tumour and epilepsy I stayed in the field with him with my vet who had been my vets for almost 22 years the poor man was in tears as I said my final good bye as he lay down and fell asleep my old vet leaned down and have his eye lids a kisss and said good night old man we'll meet again. That in my opinion is the most precious thing anyone has ever done for my animals and I will never forget that. He personally sent me some flowers and called in on his day off to see me and we went and collected his ashes together and that although it was heart breaking and still is to an extent  my vet was my best friend and the only person who could help me get throught it. For that Robin my old vet I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunatley Robin died a few years later so I always like to think that my old TB is with Robin so he is being well looked after.

God bless you both boys xx


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## YasandCrystal (18 May 2011)

topclass said:



			5 years ago 6th July  I had to have my 36 year old TB PTS he had a brain tumour and epilepsy I stayed in the field with him with my vet who had been my vets for almost 22 years the poor man was in tears as I said my final good bye as he lay down and fell asleep my old vet leaned down and have his eye lids a kisss and said good night old man we'll meet again. That in my opinion is the most precious thing anyone has ever done for my animals and I will never forget that. He personally sent me some flowers and called in on his day off to see me and we went and collected his ashes together and that although it was heart breaking and still is to an extent  my vet was my best friend and the only person who could help me get throught it. For that Robin my old vet I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunatley Robin died a few years later so I always like to think that my old TB is with Robin so he is being well looked after.

God bless you both boys xx
		
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That is so lovely. Vets really do care as do doctors.


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## Spellbound13 (18 May 2011)

Im so glad to hear all these stories about peoples vets who really do go the extra mile. its very encouraging and humbling and reminds you that at the end of the day they are human xx


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## buddylove (18 May 2011)

I was with my old boy when he was PTS with colic caused by a strangulating lymphoma.  He had the injection and went down calmly in his paddock.  I stayed with him until all the movements stopped, talking to him, as I only felt he had really gone when he was still.  Thankfully my darling dad dealt with the undignified bits, I went into the house and fell asleep, and when I woke up it was all over.
I always feel I should be there for my animals when they go, I feel I owe it to them.


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## Spellbound13 (19 May 2011)

Buddylove said:



			I stayed with him until all the movements stopped, talking to him, as I only felt he had really gone when he was still.  QUOTE]

i think thats i will do.

hugs
		
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## onemoretime (19 May 2011)

Someone sent me this when I lost my lovely mare who I had for 20 years.


My Foal

Ill lend you for a little while, a foal of mine God said,
For you to love while hes alive and mourn for when hes dead.
It may be one or thirty years or maybe more than these
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
Hell bring his charm to gladden you and should his stay be brief,
You shall have his memories, as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down here, I want this foal to learn.
Ive looked this wide world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd lifes lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call and take him back again? 
Will you shelter him with tenderness and love him while you may,
And for the happiness youve know, forever grateful stay?
But should the angels call for him much sooner than you planned,
Brave the bitter grief that comes and please try to understand.

Author Unknown


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## Spellbound13 (19 May 2011)

onemoretime said:



			Someone sent me this when I lost my lovely mare who I had for 20 years.


My Foal

Ill lend you for a little while, a foal of mine God said,
For you to love while hes alive and mourn for when hes dead.
It may be one or thirty years or maybe more than these
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
Hell bring his charm to gladden you and should his stay be brief,
You shall have his memories, as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down here, I want this foal to learn.
Ive looked this wide world over, in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd lifes lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call and take him back again? 
Will you shelter him with tenderness and love him while you may,
And for the happiness youve know, forever grateful stay?
But should the angels call for him much sooner than you planned,
Brave the bitter grief that comes and please try to understand.

Author Unknown
		
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thats beautiful And sooo true
thank you xx Amy

sorry for your loss xx


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## Archina (19 May 2011)

Ive lost 5 horses now and was there untill the end with all of them, i couldnt imagine not being there. I strongly believe your presence comforts them. I say this because my shetland gelding died 3 years ago from C. Diff (i also lost another 3 in the same month to the same thing). He was very ill for 2 days and was put on a drip and medication to help him even though the outlook was very poor. Every couple of hours i went up to check on him and change his drip, well i went up about 11pm and he was struggling to stand up. He was clearly panicking and i knew it was time to call the vet to put him to sleep as there was nothing else i could do for him. Went into his stable and started speaking to him calmy, stroking his neck and got him to lie down while continually comforting him. He calmed down and lay his head on my lap while i stroked his face stuggling to breath. By the time the vet got to the yard he had passed away in my arms. Its one of the most upsetting thing ive been through but wouldnt hesitate to do it again in a heart beat! I know for a fact that if i hadnt been there with him he would of suffered a very traumatic death. I also got to say goodbye to him.


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## Black_Horse_White (19 May 2011)

I had my boy PTS in Jan by injection, I was with him until the end and so glad that I was. He went to sleep quickly and peacefully. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I wasn't there when he was taken away, I now have a picture in my mind of my baby just lying there asleep and at peace. Hope everything goes well for you, it's very sad x


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## applecart14 (19 May 2011)

ruth83 said:



			. It is VERY normal for horses to appear to move and breathe after they have been PTS. These are normal, the horses heart will have stopped and they have no awareness/feeling of what is happening but certain body functions take longer to cease and muscle spasms are not uncommon. 

****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION WHICH MAY UPSET FOLLOWS****
I was present with a horse who was being shot for a combination of reasons. I won't go into the details of what happened when the horse was shot (if anyone really wants to know to help them make a decision on this then PM me) but the horse had been down for 2 or 3 minutes, it was obvious that a clean shot had been made and the horse was clearly dead, the vet had also done all the necessary checks to make sure the horse was gone. The vet and I were chatting and preparing a tarp to cover the horse until he could be collected when the horses body moved, this was a severe muscle spasm which happened in such a way that the body really looked like the horse was trying to get up - the front end came right up and almost 'sat up' whilst the back legs bent under the horse - then it stopped and went back to laying down. If you were not aware that this might happen and did not understand that the horse was completely dead at this point it could have been very disturbing and upsetting. 
****GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OVER*********

.
		
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I had a similiar thing happen to me when my horse was put down at a hospital.  They wouldn't let me be in the put down box whilst he was given the injection to end his life as he was extremely ataxic and they were concerned that it may have been an unpredictable 'sink to the ground', so I said goodbye and kissed his forehead and told him I loved him and walked out whilst they did the deed.  But I insisted on seeing him afterwards. 

I was eventually called in and I went in and was surrounded by the consultant and about four students (it was a teaching hospital), and I bent down and went to stroke his neck and said something along the lines "oh my poor Rommy" when he moaned really loudly, just as my hand touched his neck. He moaned another twice after that.  None of the vets or students (it was a teaching hospital) had warned me this could happen. I can remember being in a state of shock and kind of half shouting, and half pleading with the consultant vet and saying " I thought you said he was dead".  Dad knew that it was reflex and tried to calm me down. If only I had have read this post prior to the event I would have known that it was perfectly natural.  Instead it frightened me and made the experience of seeing my horse after death so much more distressing than it needed to be.  I will never forget it and it took me such a long time afterwards to get over his death, I don't think I have ever really come to terms with what happened that day and needed a lot of help afterwards.  Full of torment (as I thought Dad was just protecting me and being nice to me by lying about what had happened) I wrote in desperation to a horse publication and the kindly vet wrote and told me all about reflexes after death and that its called agonal gasping, nothing to do with agony just a strange word that is used.

I am so sorry to the OP for being faced with this dilema but I would choose injection over shooting every time and would want to be with my horse at the end, but would probably not want to go back and see his body for a few minutes.


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## laura7981 (19 May 2011)

Hi, im really sorry your having to go through this and my heart goes out to you xx
I had to have my much loved old pony pts just over a yr ago. His liver was failing and it was the kindest thing to do. im not trying to scare you but this is my experience using the leathal injection......It was the most horrific thing ive ever seen in my life. i chose to have Timber pts by injection...but i wasnt prepared for it to take so long for my baby to go to sleep. I expected him to be injected then he would quietly lie down and go to sleep.........The vet had to inject 6 massive syringes in to my pony and being such a little fighter....he just wouldnt go down. The vet was trying to pull him down by his headcollar and ill never forget the look in Timbers eyes....he knew what was happening and his eyes were askin me why. it took a good 25 minutes for my boy to die and even when he was on the floor, still, his heart was still beating and the vet had to go to his car for yet more syringes. i stayed with my boy throughout and sat with him for 3 hours untill pet crem came for him, i gave him one final kiss and said goodbye. i didnt watch him go in the trailer but broke my heart seeing them drive off knowing id never see my pony of 18 years again. Writing this just brings it all back. i have another pony who is now 32, i hope to god i dont ever have to make the dicision with her. 
im pleased i was there with timber, he was a sensitive soul and i hope me being there gave him a tiny bit of comfort. You do what feels right for you though, no body would think less of you if you wernt there x


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## applecart14 (21 May 2011)

laura7981 said:



			Hi, im really sorry your having to go through this and my heart goes out to you xx
I had to have my much loved old pony pts just over a yr ago. His liver was failing and it was the kindest thing to do. im not trying to scare you but this is my experience using the leathal injection......It was the most horrific thing ive ever seen in my life. i chose to have Timber pts by injection...but i wasnt prepared for it to take so long for my baby to go to sleep. I expected him to be injected then he would quietly lie down and go to sleep.........The vet had to inject 6 massive syringes in to my pony and being such a little fighter....he just wouldnt go down. The vet was trying to pull him down by his headcollar and ill never forget the look in Timbers eyes....he knew what was happening and his eyes were askin me why. it took a good 25 minutes for my boy to die and even when he was on the floor, still, his heart was still beating and the vet had to go to his car for yet more syringes. i stayed with my boy throughout and sat with him for 3 hours untill pet crem came for him, i gave him one final kiss and said goodbye. i didnt watch him go in the trailer but broke my heart seeing them drive off knowing id never see my pony of 18 years again. Writing this just brings it all back. i have another pony who is now 32, i hope to god i dont ever have to make the dicision with her. 
im pleased i was there with timber, he was a sensitive soul and i hope me being there gave him a tiny bit of comfort. You do what feels right for you though, no body would think less of you if you wernt there x[/QUOTE

I am so sorry to hear your dreadful experience.
		
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## hairycob (22 May 2011)

Really feel for you. We have just come to the decision that my 29yo is not coping well anymore & we will arrange things for when I have time off at the end of June. I will be there at the end. He was my sons first pony & has been in our lives for 10 years. We have a sort of hardstanding area at the yard where there are a lot of herbs growing that he loves to graze. I will give him his tea & let him graze there for a while each day for about a week before the day. Then he will think he is coming out for a treat. He will be shot with his mouth full of polos.


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## amandap (22 May 2011)

I had Toby a mini shetland with long standing health problems and protein loosing enteropathy put to sleep by injection. I was present and held him whist the vet shaved the injection site and then injected him. I cradled his neck as he collapsed and once he was on the ground I had to leave the barn for a short while I was so overcome. He didn't twitch or move at all he just crumpled quietly.
The Vet was outstanding and stayed for a while and I'm sure he did that until he was sure I was alright.

I am always comforted by the memory of, on that horrid rainy, windy day, when I came out of the barn after Toby died, the wind stopped and the sun came out.

God bless him and all those horses and owners struggling with life.


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## amandap (22 May 2011)

I choose not to be there for the removal and burial of Toby's body though.

I hope everything goes smoothly and peacefully op. I always think you know when the time is right.


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## hudsonw (22 May 2011)

I was with my boy when the vet injected him.

I asked the yard owner if i could put him down in his field under his favorite tree as i didn't like the thought of them trying to get him out of his stable once he was down...sounds stupid i know but i prefer to have the image of him in his field...?!!?

Anyway, the vet was great and gave me time to lead him to the field and for him to have a last munch of grass...
She gave him a sedative first and then while i was stroking him she injected him.

He fell to his knees and then on his side, there was no noise, movement, blood just plenty of tears.

I know it sounds silly but he went with my voice in his ears and grass in his mouth.

I'm quite a strong person and i don't normally get emotional so i knew i could handle it but OMG it hurts and your heart feels like it's going to explode...if you don't think you can handle it, no matter which way you decide to have you wonderful pony pts then don't be there. You will end up being more of a hindrance than help and it's stressful enough for everyone involved without a flapping, whaling owner being around!!

Either say your goodbyes before or after but i must admit i would always want to be there with mine if i have to go through that again.

I wasn't there when they took him away.

The vet was also very helpful to provide telephone numbers for various options for cremation, burial, the local hunt and even the local meat man. I must admit with my horse only being 6 it wasn't something i really though about so having leaflets and numbers to call was very handy!

It's an individual decision you need to make. There isn't a wrong or right one.


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## Luci07 (22 May 2011)

It also does depend IMO, if you think you are going to upset your horse more with your grieving when the horse doesn't know whats going to happen. I always assumed I would be there if I had to have mine put down but when it came to it, I said goodbye and then handed the rope to my vet and walked away. My old boy was very ill when he was put down so it was the right thing to do. I have "stood in" for friends so they could feel they were with their horse without upsetting it. 

But as an earlier poster said, there is no right or wrong. You are advised to talk to your vet to see what options they offer (some don't give you a choice) and understand about "disposal" so that is one less area to distress you when the time comes.  I am really sorry that you are going through this. There is no easy way through this and I do feel for you..


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## amage (22 May 2011)

I have been there for a few horses end most recently when we had to have one of the racehorses put down in Jan after he broke a leg (tripped over his own legs in the yard and somehow broke a fetlock) and I stayed with him from when accident happened until he was gone. Horse was my OH's absolute baby and he wanted to be with him but one of the cows started calving and he had to look after her. It was horrible, and heart breaking but I am glad that I did it for George (the horse). He was pts with a shot as he was going to the hounds. We were unfortunate with the timing that it was a Sunday morn and the vet was stuck with a difficult calving when I rang and it was over an hour before he got there but the nature of the injury was such that George had no feeling in the leg that was broken and was happily stuffing his face. Vet rang when he was a few mins away so I could bring him to the field and he then sedated him as I stuffed his mouth with polos. I had to stand back while he was shot for safety but kept talking to him and then he was gone. It was quick and calm and the only distress was to the humans. It is not an easy thing to be present for and it takes guts but it is a lovely thing to be able to do for your four legged friend. Best of luck and feel free to PM at any stage if you have more questions.


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## LaurenM (22 May 2011)

I'm crying just reading everyone's experiences. I think it would be best for my animals to have a familiar face especially my gelding as he's such a worrier. I wouldn't want to remember them that way but the thought of it being done in a field does seem more peaceful.

I can't begin to imagine how hard it has been for all of you. I'm just glad that from the stories I read, none of them died alone or scared.


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## Luci07 (22 May 2011)

amage said:



			. It is not an easy thing to be present for and it takes guts but it is a lovely thing to be able to do for your four legged friend. Best of luck and feel free to PM at any stage if you have more questions.
		
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Ahh - not fair to say it takes guts. It has to be down to the individual and you can't make such general statements. Siome people choose/can be with their horse, some can't and my vet advises against very visibly distressed owners staying to the end as it has a poor impact on the horse. Again, OP must do what is best for her and her horse, its entirely a personal decision and as everyone knows who has ever lost a horse (or any much loved animal), its not something that ever really leaves you.


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## Spellbound13 (22 May 2011)

Ive been spoiling Oliver all week, tonight he couldnt stand up again.
But im making sure his last weeks are as comfortable and lovely for him as they can be


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## amandap (22 May 2011)

I'm sure Oliver appreciates the special attention. 

It is a very, very personal decision and as has been said earlier there is no wrong or right way just the best way in individual circumstances.

It is good to think about where it happens. I choose the barn as that is where Toby had spent a good deal of time and there is an open side for access. It was also a horrid day weather wise.

Sending strength to you and Oliver Spellbound13


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## Spellbound13 (22 May 2011)

amandap said:



			I'm sure Oliver appreciates the special attention. 

It is a very, very personal decision and as has been said earlier there is no wrong or right way just the best way in individual circumstances.

It is good to think about where it happens. I choose the barn as that is where Toby had spent a good deal of time and there is an open side for access. It was also a horrid day weather wise.

Sending strength to you and Oliver Spellbound13
		
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Thank you
Yes i have been thinking about this, i do have a big field with a big gate access, and also my arena, but the gate is at the side so im not sure.
i think he will like it in the field


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## frostyfingers (23 May 2011)

I'm crying - again.  My old tb haemorrhaged from a sarcoid in the field a fortnight ago and had to be pts as an emergency.  We had planned to wait a month or two longer and do it in the sunshine after a walk round his old haunts, but sadly the choice was taken from me.

His ending was peaceful as he was trying to go down anyway, but the whole episode was a nightmare.  Both the vet and the lorry man were outstandingly sympathetic, but it was horrid to think that his last few hours were in distress, and it doesn't take much to set me off again.

The process itself is ok, you need to hold the thought that your horse doesn't know what's happening, and not be ashamed or afraid to cry - I did, buckets, and noone was bothered.

I echo what the others say about not being there when he is collected - I was in the far field, holding the other pony tightly with my hands over my ears so I couldn't hear anything.

Luckily it rained all day which cleaned up a lot of the blood in field, and suited my mood - I still can't bring myself to clean his tack....


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## Tormenta (23 May 2011)

frostyfingers said:



			I still can't bring myself to clean his tack....
		
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Well, you don't need to do it until you are good and able to. It is all part of the grieving process and we all have different stages, lengths and thought to go through as part of it.  When I lost my dog I cried buckets after clearing up his last poo from his 'corner' in the garden, odd as it seems it just set me off and with the little mare I left her fly rug hanging over her stable for months, I still have that little rug hanging even now with her hairs on it and it was two years ago. You just do what feels right for you.  I am so sorry for your loss too


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## Spellbound13 (24 May 2011)

Hiya everyone

I think im lucky that I have a little filly aswell that I will be able to be with aswell.
Unfortunatly this means she will be loosing her life long companinon (she is only 4) so Im already having to make arragements for her to have a field friend untill I can sort something out.
But I want to get all of his rugs made to fit her, I guess that way he will always be there for us both xx
I also like the idea of him being in his field at the last moments xx


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## bj666 (25 May 2011)

Lost my horse yesterday , Tue. My post "Need a name for my Horse .. Help " , it was really peaceful and done outside (so the people collecting could get her easily , no struggling through doorways ). Never had a horse shot , always injection , it seems the most peaceful way , you can talk to them and be near right to the end .
Its a sad day but you do the best for your horse .


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## Rose Folly (26 May 2011)

As  a small yard owner and having been around horses for far too long I've been with quite a few. It never gets any easier, whether it's you own or someone else's, but it is NOT terrifying. As somebody else said, the nerve twitching afterwards can be frightening the first time  you see it, but remember the horse is gone.

The vet will be happy to expxlain to you in advance what is going to happen. I think the biggest service you can do your horse is to be with him, keep your voice normal and cheerful (not that easy), have some of his /her favourite treats and just keep feeding them. Save the tears till he/she is gone.

With my liveries I then suggest they go home, and I deal with the carrier. This is the most distressful part, strangely. But the carrier we have here is SO nice, and treats the dead horse with respect and efficiency. When my own horses have been put down I used to wait for the carrier, but now get my husband or one of the liveries to be there for me 

I write with a full heart as a few days ago I went out at midnight to check on my mare who had been poorly, and found that my oldest livery was unable to move. He had broken his leg, right high up in the body, and had to be put down. His owner hadn't seen a horse put down before, and screamed as he started to buckle. But I hope the old boy never heard her. He'd eaten about 3lb carrots in the final 15 minutes and probably thought he was in heaven already.

It's the most horrid, but the bravest decision any horse owner has to take, and I do feel for you so much. Hopefully you have kind friends to be there with you, and to share memories with afterwards.


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## applecart14 (26 May 2011)

Rose Folly said:



			Save the tears till he/she is gone.


QUOTE]

I agree with that.  Whilst I was at Liverpool with my horse undergoing xrays for possible wobblers I was called in a told the worst news possible that my boy would have to be pts, he was only ten years of age.  I was told to 'spend sometime with him' and can remember walking him slowly around the yard not really knowing what to do with myself.  My Dad was chatting to the consultant and my horse was heavily sedated.  In the end because I really was in shock and didn't know what else the hell to do I rang my partner of 4 years and explained to him that my horse was going to be pts.  It was awful as my partner was in shock and was trying to persuade me to change my mind and give him a chance, have an operation etc, all the things that I'd already discussed with the consultant and that he'd said wouldn't be an option in Rommy's case.  I was stood there with Rommy in one hand and chatting to my partner in the other trying not to cry.  It wasn't his fault but he didn't make it easy for me that day.

It was horrible.  I was just chatting to Rommy telling him how much I'd enjoyed having him with me the 2 1/2 years I'd owned him, how I'd enjoyed doing all our 'first's', going on holiday together, competing and stopping overnight for a few days, doing the trailblazers final, etc.  And i just thanked him for all the love and joy he'd given me.  But above all else I was determined I wasn't going to cry in front of him so I kept my voice chatty almost trying to smile as I spoke to him, so he woudln't think anything was amiss and I am almost certain that I did a good job of it.

When it came to him being PTS I wasn't allowed to be present but accompanied him into the put down box with the nurse that tried to lead him in.  He was frightened (not of dying as clearly he didn't know that he was going to) but of the box itself so I remember gently taking the rope from the nurse and leading him in and talking to him quietly, he followed me into the box because he trusted me, that was the hardest part of the whole thing and it took me a long while to forgive myself for that as I felt I'd betrayed him - lamb to the slaughter, literally.

I've always come across as quite a hard hearted person, not over sentimental, and some people think I am a total bitch and don't love my horses, but I have lost four in under seven years and I try to give the impression I don't really care, when in fact I probably care more than most and live most of my life in constant fear of losing the 'next one'.

I gave Rommy a kiss (there was the consultant and about five students in the box) but I didn't give a damn looking soft or anything, so I kissed him, said 'I love you' and then walked out and never looked back.  I didn't cry until afterwards when I saw his body and the awful twitching and moaning that I explained about in my post earlier.

I shall always remember the image of a girl on our yard clinging to her horses neck bawling her eyes out the night before her horse was due to be PTS and I vowed that whatever comes I would NEVER do that to my horse.  They are not stupid and self control (no matter how hard) is of paramount importance.
		
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## Spellbound13 (26 May 2011)

i know I will cry, but hes used to that as i cry whenever he cant walk or get up, but im gunna make sure they are silent tears for him, im saving him from the pain and missery he is in, so i think its rather a proud and loving thing to do for him, and i know hes going to be much happier and in a better place afterwords ... im just going to miss him soooo muc, hes my best friend and soul mate... but he cant continue in this way for my own selfishness not to miss him
xxx


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## Bangagin (26 May 2011)

Sorry to hear you are having to make this decision. I was with my old boy when he was PTS as an emergency, and yes I cried buckets, but it was very peaceful. He was down anyway, so the vet just injected him and quite quickly he was peaceful and then slipped away (he had been quite distressed).

My son came down to the field to be with me, but there was no question that I would not be there with my horse at the end. I have been with all my animals when they were PTS and firmly believe it is the last kind thing we can do for them - a familiar face at a difficult time.

After the vet left my son went also, so I was alone with him and my mare in the field until the lorry came to take him away, and even though it was overwhelmingly sad I found it quite healing to be around him. I didn't watch when they winched him in to the lorry though, as had always been advised not to.

Hugs to you. xx


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## Spellbound13 (29 May 2011)

I think the definying moment will be when i take my filly to see him when hes gone, and to see how she reacts, shes already started behaving oddly, its like they both know whats coming xx


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## POLLDARK (29 May 2011)

I have always been there when the hunt comes out to do the deed. The huntsman smells of horses & dogs, not chemicals like the Vet,the horse just relaxs while he strokes his nose & feeds him polos, doesn't know what a gun is so doesn't need sedation. There is no fear, pain or panic The shot is quick, death immediate. Once the horse is dead you can let your emotions go but do try & hold yourself together for the horses sake while he is still alive as it's better for him.


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## Spellbound13 (1 June 2011)

Thank you.

I will not be having him shot, I feel injection is a better option


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## titch (1 June 2011)

I can see you have had a lot of advice and support already, but just thought I would give my experience.

I have only been in this situation once, and the decision was made for me-my mare broke her leg.  There was no visible injury when she came in lame, so we had transported her to the vets for x rays.  It obviously all happened very fast, so my time to say goodbye was limited as we wanted to end her pain straight away.  We had the injection.

I stood with her whilst she was sedated, the vet then asked me if I wanted to stay whilst she fell, I didn't.

However, once she was down, I went to say goodbye.  This wouldn't be for everyone, but for me it helped.

One important thing I would say is try to avoid people being around, but having a close person with you helps.  I was only 18 at the time, and my instructor had driven the lorry to the vets, that was it.  My instructor knew exactly what to say, and was a fantastic support.  However, the worst part was returning to the yard with an empty lorry, with everyone around asking what had happened.  

Hope that helps, if you want to talk anything over feel free to PM me


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## zandp (1 June 2011)

So sorry to read you're having to make the decision, one of mine is getting on a bit now and I know in the next few years it will probably be her turn.  I stayed with my dog just before New Year, in fact he died on my lap and I am so glad I could do that for him, he'd given me 10 years of love and fun and it was the least I could do, although I still miss him every day and haven't managed to clear all of his things out of the house yet.


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## BeckyD (2 June 2011)

I've been there for other people's horses and kept it together fine, even horses I knew and loved.  But I'm afraid I couldn't be there for my own.  In both cases I left them with the yard owner they knew well (both were on part livery) as I would have caused far too much distress had I been there.  

I also have lovely last memories of Ronnie as he was being such a spanner in the morning, pratting about in his field, slipping over and rearing/leaping about, chasing me whilst I poo-picked and doing his best tigger impression.  It was lovely to see him doing the things we all knew him for (and which hastened his demise, sadly) and to not be left with an awful memory of the lsat time I saw him.

You need to do what is best for you.


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## Vizslak (2 June 2011)

Its definately something down to personal choice. I know a lot of people that feel they cant stay with their own horses. I will always be there with mine, I wouldnt feel right not being. I had two of mine PTS last august. I stood with them whilst they were both sedated and then shot in turn. However I'm pretty good at holding onto my emotion and staying calm when neccessary, this was even more neccessary when having two done at once, I couldnt show any emotion when the old boy was shot first as my mare was next, I spoke to her and stroked her a bit more just to ensure she was calm as she had jumped slightly at the shot right next to her but was heavily sedated and I had positioned him slightly behind her, she couldnt see him. It was horrendous having to plan it for two together but I think the way it went was as good as it could have been. I didnt show any emotion at all though and that was really important to me, I was talking to them normally etc and had a few quiet whispers in their ears. When they were both gone I simply thanked the vet and kennel person and walked back up through the paddocks to the house, I took one last look back at them lying side by side in the grass below me from the top of the hill and said a final goodbye. When I got back to the house I cried for them and me but I wouldnt show them I was sad before they were gone. I think its really important not to show any obvious distress in their final hours/minutes.


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## Spellbound13 (3 June 2011)

The vet came today, He now has lammy in his hind hoof aswell, so he will be put to sleep on tuesday xx


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## RuthnMeg (3 June 2011)

Spellbound13 said:



			The vet came today, He now has lammy in his hind hoof aswell, so he will be put to sleep on tuesday xx
		
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Sorry to hear that, its tough, emotions will run all over the place and the waiting is the worst part but as I found out today as Juno was PTS, somehow it wasn't as bad as I thought.
I was there, right there. I didn't hold the lead rope, but was close. I spoke to Juno, told her to be brave and that it would be ok. I saw everything, the gun, her fall, was only a few steps away, gave her a pat and a stroke and walked a few steps away to allow the huntsman to do his job. I Fussed the other horses who were the other side of the electric tape (I wanted them to know, so they saw it all too). They were very good, and seemed to understand instantly, but never fretted. Juno was winched into the wagon with such care, I didn't mind watching. Many don't like that, but I really did see her right to the end. I am so pleased I was brave, and so happy that it was right for us.


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## misst (4 June 2011)

Sorry his time has come - but you are doing the right thing for him and that will comfort you a little when the time comes. 
Best wishes for a quick and very peaceful passing for him and stay strong vibes for you too x 
The "countdown" of the last few days is very hard but I hope it is a special time for you both x


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## Spellbound13 (5 June 2011)

Thank you everyone
i keep trying to spend lots of time with him, but hes just so grumpy with being in pain he just keeps trying to bite me and hes just led flat out all the time bless him. Tomorrow is his last full day and I have to work till 6pm, so will only get to see him at night,
ive already started moving his rugs and toys so its not as painful when hes gone xx


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## Spellbound13 (7 June 2011)

hi there
Oliver Passed away this morning in a lovely sunny feild.


Thank you very much for all your comments and advice.
it was really peacfull and not traumatic at all.

we brought him over for the vet (he decided to be stood at the very far end of the field)
and my vet was lovely, she stroked him all over and talked to him.
she sedated him (my dad had to hold him for this as his throws his head up) and then my dad passed my the lead rope and he whinnied to me (he has a special whinney he does just for me for like when i turn up to feed him or bring him and when i groom him) The vet gave me 15 mins or so to talk to him whilst the sedative really took affect and all this time he just whinnyed and nuzzeled me he looked so relaxed and really relived, like all the pain had finally gone, the vet came over and asked me if I was ready, and she treid to put the catheter in, for a few minuets she tried and didnt manage it (she explain to me before hand she might not be able to as it can be difficult after sedation to get a vein)
so she injected him straight into a vain.
he took 2 deep breaths and went a bit wobbly and fell to the ground and to his side, his eyes glased over, the vet checked his heart and said she couldnt hear anything, he then kinda burped if you will whilst the gas and oxygen he breathed in left him, he did this twice, the vet rechecked his heart and said she deffinatly couldnt hear a heart beat, but she would give him some more of the drug just for peace of mind, he then never made any more noise, we all sat with him for about half an hour and talked about him with the vet (the collection people waited down the road and let us take as long as we needed) it then started to thunder and lighten and he started going cold, so we where ready for him to go ... i waited next to his stable whilst this happened, and the vet supervised him, I could see it from the side and im really glad i did, the man then told me he would stay with Oliver for me and look after him untill he goes into the furnace and he will then ring me personally and we can arrange how to collect the ashes.

he layed down with his ears forward so he had been listening to be right till he couldnt anymore, and no pain in his face, hes eyes wernt wide open, but half closed, he looked so happy and peascful.

such a horrible thing to go through but it went to smoothly and very very quick.


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## RuthnMeg (7 June 2011)

Bless you. Rest in Peace Oliver. 
It is such a nice feeling knowing that they are pain free and happy. We know that the memories live on, they will never be forgotten.
Many hugs.


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## Spellbound13 (7 June 2011)

RuthnMeg said:



			Bless you. Rest in Peace Oliver. 
It is such a nice feeling knowing that they are pain free and happy. We know that the memories live on, they will never be forgotten.
Many hugs.
		
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so true, thank you xxx


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## misst (7 June 2011)

Well done x I am glad it was not so bad as you had thought it might be. Hard, I know, but it is also a good feeling to know you did your best for them. 
RIP Oliver x x ((hugs)) to you.


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## hairycob (8 June 2011)

Glad it went peacefully for you & Oliver.
We say goodbye to Bobby in 2 weeks. Which day depends on my son's work schedule. We had a very teary ride last night as we talked about the good times we have had with him. But he is 29, his teeth have worn out, he has cushings & this hard ground has been tough on his legs. I know we are doing the right thing but it doesn't stop it hurting.


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## Theresa_F (8 June 2011)

I had my first TB shot, for her this was the best way to go and the huntsman was super and took ages getting her relaxed and accepting the gun near her head.  I did after a while stand with my back to her as I was getting upset and did not want her picking up.  I had my hand behind me feeding her polos.  When I did hear the gun go, I walked away and did not look back.  My OH stayed there and said she was dead before she dropped.

With Cairo, he was already down, he was given a local and the catheter put in.  Whilst this was done, he had the meal of his life, I went through the feeds bins of others and he got sticky mix, sugar beet and all the sugary things I don't feed, along with apples, carrots and a bag of sugar.

He then was sedated and went to sleep with a mouth full of polos.

The final two injections were then given, he was a large boy, hence needing so much to put him down.  It was a bit distressing, where his blood pressure had dropped, the catheter had to be redone and whilst he was asleep, for us it was stressful.

At the final end, he gasped and his lungs went flat out for about 30 seconds.  We had been told this could happen, but it was still horrible to witness.  He though did not move an inch, just gasped.

My OH then sat with him whilst I bought Chancer in.  We howled to see Chancer trying to get his "dad" up.  Finally Andy sat with his back against Cairo's back feeling him cool down and little twitches as we waited for him to be taken away for cremation.

That part we did not want to see, so went and sat in the field until he was removed.

Cairo was scattered on the summer field, his ashes went into the grass which is eaten by Stinky and Farra, so we like to think he lives on in them.

I always stay beside my pets at the end, it is not nice, but I want them to have a loving hand on them and a voice they know until they go into the final sleep.

I would always insist on sedation before final injection and the vet who put Cairo down said she would do it no other way.  However, with the TBS I have had, they hated sedation and this is why I have had them shot.

I am sending you a huge hug as this is all I can do for you.


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## Spellbound13 (8 June 2011)

hairycob said:



			Glad it went peacefully for you & Oliver.
We say goodbye to Bobby in 2 weeks. Which day depends on my son's work schedule. We had a very teary ride last night as we talked about the good times we have had with him. But he is 29, his teeth have worn out, he has cushings & this hard ground has been tough on his legs. I know we are doing the right thing but it doesn't stop it hurting.
		
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It doesnt stop it hurting, but it helps it feel the right thing to do, the bit i found most comforting was he dies with his ears forward so he was still listening to me when he fell and laid down his head, then we all sat with him for abour 45 mins, it was so nice, he looked so relieved, and peaceful, it happened much quicker than i expected, almost as soon as he was injected.

I didnt cry at all, i was concerntrating on talking to him and i looked him in his eyess all the time. I only let the tears come when he was finally resting.


my thoughjts are with you, I hope your baby goes as peacefully as Oliver.
Its lovely to think he died in my arms with all the people who loved him talking to him and caring for him xx


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## lornaA (8 June 2011)

i have had 2 of my 3 horses put down in the past 9 months and to be honest i still miss them dearly and am finding it very hard to come to terms with, i miss them terribly.  The first was my old mare who was 26 she took a sudden very very severe colic back in september and she has to be pts which was such a shock as it was so sudden then in march my much wanted and loved foal was put down as he broke his back which was very hard to come to terms with as he was only a baby.  I was with both of them at the end and they both had the injection.  the old mare went very peacefully the foal fought it a bit and threw himself over which was distressing for us but it was all over very quick.  
I hope you are coming to terms with the lose of your beloved horse x


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## Spellbound13 (9 June 2011)

lornaA said:



			i have had 2 of my 3 horses put down in the past 9 months and to be honest i still miss them dearly and am finding it very hard to come to terms with, i miss them terribly.  The first was my old mare who was 26 she took a sudden very very severe colic back in september and she has to be pts which was such a shock as it was so sudden then in march my much wanted and loved foal was put down as he broke his back which was very hard to come to terms with as he was only a baby.  I was with both of them at the end and they both had the injection.  the old mare went very peacefully the foal fought it a bit and threw himself over which was distressing for us but it was all over very quick.  
I hope you are coming to terms with the lose of your beloved horse x
		
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Im finding it very difficult, I feel like a part of me has been torn away, I cant sleep without his headcoller next to my pillow, it fills my room with the smell of him. Its very odd just going and tending to my filly, I beleive she is missing him too, today without thinking i brushed her and she started licking the brush i was using and then started neighing (she hardly makes any noise) and i realised its the brush I used to groom Oliver the very morning he passed.

I had oliver for 10 years almostt to the exact day, and ive had 3 horses for 3 of those years and then went down to  2 horses for this last year.
I keep feeling like ive missed something out or not done something, hopefully this will help when i move yard next week, my filly is completly on her own as only me on this yard, but she seems to be doing ok for now.

i hope your ok? it must be terrible to loose them in such a shocking and tragic way. 
How did your little foal break his back?

At least they didnt die alone and they are all pain free now xx


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## RedsandStud (14 June 2011)

As hard as it is at the time we owe it to them to be there at the end... it keeps them calm because they have a familiar face/voice to comfort them and give them a sense of normality.
Last October I had my homebred colt foal PTS after an injury resulted in a shattered hock, it wasn't good at the time but knowing that it was the right (if not the only option) made it easier. 
I held him while the vet administered the injections and while he went down and then sat with him. As he was a shetland pony we buried him on our land so we had to dig the hole and bury him which was unbelievably hard but in a strange way being there for the duration gave me a sense of closure.

They're pleased to see us everyday even when they're sick or in pain so when it comes to it the least we can do for them is be there to say goodbye.


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## LaurenM (22 June 2011)

I've got to go through this in the next few weeks. I'm really undecided whether to be there or not as I feel I'll be too distressed to comfort her. I'm glad this post has been created though because at least I know it'll be quick and peaceful.


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## Spellbound13 (22 June 2011)

LaurenM said:



			I've got to go through this in the next few weeks. I'm really undecided whether to be there or not as I feel I'll be too distressed to comfort her. I'm glad this post has been created though because at least I know it'll be quick and peaceful.
		
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I went with the mindset to be there as Oliver could be a nervouse horse and always stood better when i was there.
but right uptill the last minuet i wasnt sure, untill like i say i went to touch the leadrope and he whinnied to me, this made me know that is what he wanted and it was the right thing to do.

it was a terrible thing to go through, and i didnt cry untill he was on the floor, i think this is because i was distracted with talking to him and making sure he was calm and happy and talking to the vet.

the best thing is to really know inside out what is going to happen.
it was still very shocking to me how quickly he fell, and he did literally fall/callapse ... but i am so so very glad I was there with him and held him, it was really peaceful and in a strange way rewarding as i knew id been there for him when he needed me most.

it was very odd, once the lethal injection went in, its like everything went silent and it was just him and me there and no one else, such a strong feeling its so hard to explain.

it brings me great peace and comfort though knowing i was there...
but if you cant be then theres nothing wrong with that.

you dont have to be the one to hold them, you could judt be near them, that too will be enough.

you can plan these things but it really depends how you feel at the time.

I just Got Olivers ashes back on tuesday, I was dead set on scattering him untill then .. and now I just want to keep him.


Im very sorry to hear your going to have to go through this horrible situation.

big big hugs, stay strong and brave.

message me if you have any questions at all


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## Spellbound13 (23 June 2011)

hairycob said:



			Glad it went peacefully for you & Oliver.
We say goodbye to Bobby in 2 weeks. Which day depends on my son's work schedule. We had a very teary ride last night as we talked about the good times we have had with him. But he is 29, his teeth have worn out, he has cushings & this hard ground has been tough on his legs. I know we are doing the right thing but it doesn't stop it hurting.
		
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Bless him

Best of luck to you and big hugs, it really is a comforting feeling when you know your doing the right thing and freeing them from their pain xx


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## LaurenM (23 June 2011)

Thanks spellbound. The decision was taken away from me to pts as its the only option. I was given the ability to choose when but its always going to feel too soon. She's in pain so don't won't to prolong it any longer for her. Words can't describe how heart broken I am as she's only 8 but I guess you could imagine.


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## Spellbound13 (23 June 2011)

LaurenM said:



			Thanks spellbound. The decision was taken away from me to pts as its the only option. I was given the ability to choose when but its always going to feel too soon. She's in pain so don't won't to prolong it any longer for her. Words can't describe how heart broken I am as she's only 8 but I guess you could imagine.
		
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Yes I can imagine, I had Oliver exactly ten years that week, he turned 11 on april fools day. and the decision to have him p2s was made on the friday 3rd june, those last 4 days where the most painful, especially the last night.

You feel like a massive part of you has been ripped away.
But somehow you get through it. big big hugs, your being very brave.

Do you mind me asking why your little angel is being p2s?


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## Spellbound13 (23 June 2011)

lornaA said:



			i have had 2 of my 3 horses put down in the past 9 months and to be honest i still miss them dearly and am finding it very hard to come to terms with, i miss them terribly.  The first was my old mare who was 26 she took a sudden very very severe colic back in september and she has to be pts which was such a shock as it was so sudden then in march my much wanted and loved foal was put down as he broke his back which was very hard to come to terms with as he was only a baby.  I was with both of them at the end and they both had the injection.  the old mare went very peacefully the foal fought it a bit and threw himself over which was distressing for us but it was all over very quick.  
I hope you are coming to terms with the lose of your beloved horse x
		
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Hi there, Im so sorry for your losses.
Im rather glad that Oliver didnt die tragically or had to be p2s due to a sudden illness or injury, think it made it that more peacful and less shocking.


big hugs to you.

its very odd at the moment and doesnt seem real. Hope your doing ok? xx


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## Spellbound13 (16 July 2011)

Just a little note to say, I hope everyone who is having to make this hard and traumatic choice is doing ok.

pm me if you have any questions, your all in my thoughts xx


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## Spellbound13 (10 August 2011)

Does anyone know how to get this thread as a 'sticky'? I think its something everyone should always be able to see and comment on


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## Ladylina83 (16 September 2011)

Sorry to drag up this post I some how came across it searching for trailblazers and instead have sat here sobbing at my desk - 7 mins then i can go and give mine a cuddle ! 

Big hugs to all


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## gable (17 September 2011)

I lost my boy on 22nd July this year.

I made the decision to be there but took my OH along just in case I couldn't face it when it actually came to doing the deed.

I also made the decision to have him PTS at the equine hopsital rather than at home for a couple of reasons.
1. the only practical place on our yard to have a horse put to sleep is by the muck heap - not in his field (for collection purposes)
2. I don't think I could have got the image of him lying there dead out of my head every time I walked past
3. He travelled all the time, so would not have been stressed going in the wagon on his own also had had many visits to the vets and loved the fuss they all made of him  - so to him it was nothing unusual about being there.

I had had a good old discussion with my vet a few days before with a few requests.

Not to let him bang his head - I had a massive fear of this
To PTS as soon as he is unloaded - no hanging around or waiting in a stable

My vet was fab

I unloaded him and walked him straight round to a lovely grassy area at the back of the vets (ashbrook) and fed him copious amounts of polos. I told him he was a good boy, that I loved him and I thanked him.

The vet then asked me to hand him to her, he went down, and was gone.

From unloading to him being dead was a matter of minutes.

It was very calm, very quick and very peaceful and I felt a huge wave of relief pass over me as he was no longer in pain and at peace.


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## angrovestud (17 September 2011)

We had to manage a very sad PTS we breed horses and I had owned my mare for 6 years and she had given us three amazing foals then last year she lost one still born we buried her here at the stud, my mare was put back in foal and we prayed it was a one off, then she got to new years days and was down in her stable for a long time, we tried to get her up and eventually she got up she was eating fine and seemed to move round her box ok, the next day she hobbled very badly to her outside pen, and we called the vet who took one look at her and said laminitis and then said cushings laminitis, this was horrifing and in shock  was told that f she didnt respond to meds withn 2 days that was it she was very heavily in foal.
She responded really well and one month later she was a differnt girl she went over her due date and we had to reduce the meds to get her to form a bag which she did but she had gone 12 months by this time, on the 2nd of April Mothers day this year she produced the most beautiful colt oh we where so overjoyed to see this amazing little man how I relished playng wth him we owned his mum and dad and he was so like his dad  we were there when he was made!
Then he injured himself he tore a ligament in his knee and we then nursed him for two months he seem to be getting better but the leg was so twisted and bent and then in July the vet was called out to see his other leg which had become so twisted as it had been taking all the weight, we were told that he would have to be PTS in all this time my mare could not be on meds as she needed the milk bar and every time she had her feet trimmed she was left in agony she wore sponges under her feet with gaffa tape to eae her pain she was on bute evryday as well.
then one thursday I saw her trot up the field like a sprin chicken the next day she couldnt walk and her little boy was always lying down it was time for the end of the summer Holiday

like others have said prepairing two is hard and when its a life that has just begun its very painful our vet was fantastic the foal was already lying down and he was PTS and my husband held him his mum didnt even notice as he had had so much meedical care it was just the same again then it was her turn and she passed so peacefully to be with her two babies once more. 
It was the first time I had ever been with a horse while being PTS I had been on this forum and read all I could to prepair myself and it helped they are both buried here at the stud which for me has helped.


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## neddynesbitt (17 September 2011)

angrovestud said:



			We had to manage a very sad PTS we breed horses and I had owned my mare for 6 years and she had given us three amazing foals then last year she lost one still born we buried her here at the stud, my mare was put back in foal and we prayed it was a one off, then she got to new years days and was down in her stable for a long time, we tried to get her up and eventually she got up she was eating fine and seemed to move round her box ok, the next day she hobbled very badly to her outside pen, and we called the vet who took one look at her and said laminitis and then said cushings laminitis, this was horrifing and in shock  was told that f she didnt respond to meds withn 2 days that was it she was very heavily in foal.
She responded really well and one month later she was a differnt girl she went over her due date and we had to reduce the meds to get her to form a bag which she did but she had gone 12 months by this time, on the 2nd of April Mothers day this year she produced the most beautiful colt oh we where so overjoyed to see this amazing little man how I relished playng wth him we owned his mum and dad and he was so like his dad  we were there when he was made!
Then he injured himself he tore a ligament in his knee and we then nursed him for two months he seem to be getting better but the leg was so twisted and bent and then in July the vet was called out to see his other leg which had become so twisted as it had been taking all the weight, we were told that he would have to be PTS in all this time my mare could not be on meds as she needed the milk bar and every time she had her feet trimmed she was left in agony she wore sponges under her feet with gaffa tape to eae her pain she was on bute evryday as well.
then one thursday I saw her trot up the field like a sprin chicken the next day she couldnt walk and her little boy was always lying down it was time for the end of the summer Holiday

like others have said prepairing two is hard and when its a life that has just begun its very painful our vet was fantastic the foal was already lying down and he was PTS and my husband held him his mum didnt even notice as he had had so much meedical care it was just the same again then it was her turn and she passed so peacefully to be with her two babies once more. 
It was the first time I had ever been with a horse while being PTS I had been on this forum and read all I could to prepair myself and it helped they are both buried here at the stud which for me has helped.
		
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Ah that is so sad but how lovely of you to give them both every chance, you certainly couldn't have done anymore.

I lost my boy 3 weeks ago and I too never gave up on him but in the end like you, I couldn't do anymore. I am devastated to lose him but there is an element of relief that he isn't suffering and I don't feel ANY guilt as I know I had done everything I physically could. In 18 months alone I had 5 insurance claims for different conditions and there comes a time when it's not fair on the animal.

Hope you are ok? Take care xx


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## angrovestud (18 September 2011)

neddynesbitt Thank you I am ok I am blessed as we bred her stallion son wh is so like his mum, It must be still so raw for you but you did the right thing its so very hard.


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## Chestnutmare (18 September 2011)

Oh I am so sorry to those that are going through this heartbraking time.
I had my horse of a lifetime PTS 2 yrs ago August due to Severe Colitis after he had been in the equine horspital for a week in ITU I had to call it a day with him as he was getting no better and the look in his eye just spoke a thousand words to me... he had enough!

So with that I asked the vet to do the deed, with that I was already balling me eyes out I took him out of his stable and round to 'the area' a hugely deep straw barn he must have thought he was already in heaven - he was laminitic and had COPD so no straw allowed... he was allowed to much on that then whilst I fed him a bucket full of fresh grass and apples I just knew it had to be done the last final thing of my kindness to him... vet then sedated him as he already had the catherter in was easier to do, I stood holding him stroking his face gently telling him over and over again how much I loved him and thanked him for everything and how sorry I was... I stayed right til the end he went down but his body twisted straw hanging out of his mouth  (I laughed amongst all the tears) as it was so typical of him to be awkward and the straw hanging out of his mouth... bless him I stayed a while cuddling him laid over his body stroking him speaking gently to him I stayed for only about 20mins, I took a lock of mane too, I certainly wasn't going to be there for the collection but kept telling the vets to make sure he wasn't loaded awful or that he broke his legs or anything (i've known this to happen).

I collected his ashes a week or two later and he stays with me in my lounge where I often chat away like a loon to him, but it reassures me at the same time.

I miss my boy so much everyday i think about him he was a big part of my life for 10yrs just glad I gave him 10 yrs of happiness and love

It's never a nice though or act to do but the most unselfish kindess we could ever do for out loved animals.


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## Spellbound13 (18 November 2011)

lovely hearing everyones stories, as much of a sad tme it is, its great to hear we are all there for our best friends when they need us most xx


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## ILuvCowparsely (22 November 2011)

Spellbound13 said:



			hey guys
sorry for the morbid subject, but my 11 year old new forrest has been a suffer of recurring laminitis for about 5 years now since he was poisoned and went into liver failour, anyway he is a very poorly boy, the bute seems to no longer give him relife and the spark in his eyes have gone he just seems very misserable.
I know its time to let go.
i was just wondering if anyone has been there with their horse at the end when they are euthanised, I think I would like to be but I know it will be very traumatic, any advice or experiences would be appreciated?
thank you
		
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 i was there when my pony died of colic and my first mare of a unknown illness, 


 I will always be with them and always have the injection  I like to hold them reassure them when they slip away


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## Spellbound13 (16 January 2012)

So it finally felt right to scatter Olivers ashes on saturday.
the weather was really frosty cold, but really sunny, Just how Oliver used to love it.

I chose a spot on beacon fell, with a beautiful view, there was a small reef and holly bush by the wall where somone else has spread ashes, i ddnt read the card on the reef/bush, but it felt nice knowing he wouldnt be alone up there weather it be a person or an animal with him.
In a few weeks we are going to spread my mums ashes there too so they can be together.


I miss him everyday, but I know where he is and hes a happy free horse now xx


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## Skippys Mum (16 January 2012)

I always choose injection and I always stay with them.  Yes its upsetting but its the last, best thing you can ever do for them.  The upsetting bit is the making the decision, not the actual act.

My little pony was pts about 8 weeks ago when she colicked.  Once she went down (which was more or less instantaneous) I just sat beside her for a wee while till the vet assured me she was away.


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## Aidey (17 January 2012)

Not read the whole post but OP I am sorry you are in this position.

When I was 11 I had a 27 year old pony who was kicked right at the bottom of the field, I went to bring him in one night and found one hind leg hanging and he was stood in a pool of blood, vet was called and his cannon bone was completely shattered and there was nothing that could have been done, he was euthanized on the spot while I was there but an adult was shielding me the moment he actually went down, as others have said whilst the organs are finally shutting down there are noises and movements after the horse has been pronounced dead and as a child this did give me a little false hope/more worrying because my mind didn't want to accept he was gone.

I was only a child but I am glad I was there with him in his final moments and in future when the time comes that my beloved girl's time is up I will be there with her, til the end.


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## kylee86 (17 January 2012)

my id x tb was pts aged 15 he had an infection that went into his heart i was there all the way with him he was very peacefull like he was going to sleep the vet sedated him but he was so week he got on the floore so i got down with him the vet gave him his injection and he put his head on my knee and closed his eyes the whole time i was stroking and talking to him i was there for his pick up which was destressing but i stayed with him and stood and watch the trailor disapear. 
my sistes horse was pts 2 yrs aago again i stayed unfortunatly he couldnt be picked up till nxt day it was awful to see him a day later but stayed fo collection i advise anybody that sees there body as still there horse not to stay for pick up as i had to tell myself that his body was just a shell and he was in a nice place looking over us as the 2 times they have picked up they arnt gentle with them


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## ILuvCowparsely (17 January 2012)

I have been there for two of mine so far  a 25  year old and 5 year old.

 Both went peacefully to sleep in my arms.
 The only way I would do it.

I only use injections so they know what they are they have them every year with jabs.

 The also hard thing is when a Jovian parcel force guy says *  I got a parcel for you  is it your birthday*???????????

 * No I said its my horses ashes *

   If you have a sympathetic vet  she will give a sedative first make him relaxed then the overdose. Its heartbreaking but
 for me its the kindest - cleanest way.


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## ILuvCowparsely (17 January 2012)

Spellbound13 said:



			So it finally felt right to scatter Olivers ashes on saturday.
the weather was really frosty cold, but really sunny, Just how Oliver used to love it.

I chose a spot on beacon fell, with a beautiful view, there was a small reef and holly bush by the wall where somone else has spread ashes, i ddnt read the card on the reef/bush, but it felt nice knowing he wouldnt be alone up there weather it be a person or an animal with him.
In a few weeks we are going to spread my mums ashes there too so they can be together.


I miss him everyday, but I know where he is and hes a happy free horse now xx
		
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 What a lovely thing to do  spellbound 
 I have got Bonnies ashes and Biscuits ashes and my cats.

 I am leaving instructions when I die my ashes are to be put in the gorund at  parents garden  with all the other pets over the years dogs- cats. And all my pets ashes will be put in the ground with me.




amage said:



			It is not an easy thing to be present for and it takes guts but it is a lovely thing to be able to do for your four legged friend. Best of luck and feel free to PM at any stage if you have more questions.
		
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 No its not easy   but I dont think it takes guts , most horses are ill when that time comes and mentally you think about it and prepare for it  , so not so hard when your watching them suffer. Its worst when it happens in a freak accident or illness when they were healthy only a short time before.


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## ILuvCowparsely (17 January 2012)

ruth83 said:



			I would recommend that, even if you feel able to be present whilst your horse is PTS, you are not their when they are collected. Perhaps leave them as the lorry arrives. The collection CAN be very difficult. It is also easier for the collectors if you are not there. 
.
		
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 I would not have it another way . Both times I was there and waited for the truck to arrive.  I have seen in the past messy stained trucks ( not going into detail ) . My hubby said come on  into house / common room  .

 I said first I want to see in the truck make sure its clean if its not she isn't going in there.!" both times truck spotless, satisfied I turned heard the commotion cried  into hubby then came out when she was in.  Watched the truck go slowly like a hearse down the drive only when out of site did i break down .

 This I will do for EVERY 1 of mine


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## Spellbound13 (20 January 2012)

Leviathan said:



			No its not easy   but I dont think it takes guts , most horses are ill when that time comes and mentally you think about it and prepare for it  , so not so hard when your watching them suffer. Its worst when it happens in a freak accident or illness when they were healthy only a short time before.
		
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i completely agree, my friends horse died from colic a few weeks before, it was rather horrific and very traumatising for all involved, he fought for hours and just gave up and died in the stable.

im so glad i got to choose the sircumstance and the day and time, and it was such a beautiful day and sunny, it did shock me how fast he went down after the injection, my vet was absolutly amazing, she came over and stroked him and played with him and talked to him, she explained everything fully to me, including how he would breath really deeply before he would fall, and she explained how he would just drop and how she would check him over and over and over again to make sure he was gone.

This sounds odd, But it felt good knowing I could finally stop his pain, and that it was my choice and it haddnt beem taken out of my controll like if id found him with broken leg or and accident or colic.

it was such a beautiful thing to go through, so so peacful, you really feel at one with your horse, everything goes so quiet and its just you 2.

The vet said he was the first horse shes ever seen with his ears forward at the end, so it proves they still listen even when sedated.

thank you everyone, lovely to hear everyones storys xx


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## Spellbound13 (20 January 2012)

Leviathan said:



			I would not have it another way . Both times I was there and waited for the truck to arrive.  I have seen in the past messy stained trucks ( not going into detail ) . My hubby said come on  into house / common room  .

 I said first I want to see in the truck make sure its clean if its not she isn't going in there.!" both times truck spotless, satisfied I turned heard the commotion cried  into hubby then came out when she was in.  Watched the truck go slowly like a hearse down the drive only when out of site did i break down .

 This I will do for EVERY 1 of mine
		
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I wish i had looked into the truck, but the collection people came very highly recomended to me by my vet and my farrier, he was my farriers best friend and part of his family as he described him, also I spoke to him quite a lot first and got to ask him many questions which made it all better, my Vet stayed with Oliver whilst he was loaded, I watched from the fromt of the truck, I couldnt see much, but i could see his bum and tail, it was very noisy and I was prepared for this, but the man said he had fallen in suce a way it was perfect for loading him so he went on really easily, and he was the only one in the truck as they thought it more ethical to collect one horse at a time.
They also emailed me dailey to let me know he was being looked after and he was with them at all times.
I agree I did see his body as just a shell after, and I sat with him for over an hour, with the vet aswell, as she said she likes to stay for at least an hour after to make sure he was gone, and the collection man waited off the yard really patiently untill I was ready, even though we arranged a time, he said he would wait for hours and hours if I wanted.

I would DEFFO do it all again xx


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## Tiffany (24 January 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear about our boy. I was there when my TB mare was PTS by injection. It broke my heart but it was a calm, peaceful end & I'm so pleased I stayed with her although I'm not so sure I could have stayed had she been shot though? Do what you feel comfortable with. ((((hugs))))


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## applecart14 (24 January 2012)

Spellbound13 said:



			I agree I did see his body as just a shell after, and I sat with him for over an hour, with the vet aswell, as she said she likes to stay for at least an hour after to make sure he was gone, and the collection man waited off the yard really patiently untill I was ready, even though we arranged a time, he said he would wait for hours and hours if I wanted.
		
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Strange comment from a vet.  She should know within five minutes if they've gone or not, it shouldn't take her an hour to reach that conclusion. I'm glad she's not my vet.

As for the collection man, that was very kind of him, bless him.


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## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (24 January 2012)

My old boy had laminitis/cushings; and the vet and I had discussed the fact that we might be looking at the PTS decision.

On the morning of "the deed"; before the vet came, I turned him out into the lush, deep, lovely green pasture that he had been denied for so long. I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw it and grabbed his first mouthfull of the green stuff - that alone made the difficult decision we were having to make, worthwhile, just for that.

The vet was super, very understanding, and explained everything. I stayed with him right through the first injection (sedative) - then the vet explained that the next injection would be the "final" one and there would be no going back, this was it. The vet told me I would need to be careful of his feet etc which might flail around - and as soon as the injection took effect he then grabbed hold of his lead-rope to guide him down. Once he was down, it was all very peaceful, he just went to sleep basically, and then the vet listened for his heartbeat and told me when it had stopped. 

He said I could spend as much time as I liked with him, but when the people came to pick up the body, to not be there for that - and I took that advice. 

I also took some mane & tail off him. I felt awful doing it though, it just didn't seem right to just hack it off.

So sorry for you OP. Its never an easy choice, but at least you're facing up to it and trying to do the right thing for your equine friend.


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## applecart14 (25 January 2012)

applecart14 said:



			Strange comment from a vet.  She should know within five minutes if they've gone or not, it shouldn't take her an hour to reach that conclusion. I'm glad she's not my vet.

As for the collection man, that was very kind of him, bless him.
		
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Ooh I've just realised I may have misread that post.  Did you mean gone as in 'left the yard with the collection man'?  Or did you actually mean gone as in 'dead'?

x


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## Luci07 (26 January 2012)

There is no right or wrong way to do it. Being in pieces when the deed is being done will not help your horse. I held a friends horse who was shot as she really could not face it and the horse knew me. Hardest bit was "prepping" beforehand knowing what was going to happen. When my own oldie was PTS, the vet actually asked me to walk away as I was almost incoherent at the time.

So, you do whats right for the horse, you must also do what is right for you.  As my vet pointed out, me in floods of tears was only going to upset my elderly boy even more. I said my goodbyes and walked away. 

It is the absolute worst of sharing your life with animals is when they have to leave you.


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## ILuvCowparsely (26 January 2012)

Its a horrid time when this happens  Here's a tribute to a special friend 

*Treasure Friend

Blessed was the day   you came into my life
 I will treasure this day for ever and for always 
You accepted me as I accepted you
I trusted you as you trusted me 
Together we travelled through fields high and low
The wind in your mane blowing it  in my face
I clung to your neck as we ran swiftly through the grass
Your hooves barely making a sound as we were in full flight.

You are as gentle and loving  now as you were  all those years back
Never  been any sort of animosity towards me 
 You are the perfect companion for me I hope I am the perfect friend for you 
You have looked after me through thick and thin 
 As I now have to look after you in your time of need.
You are so brave despite the pain
 You maintain the brightness in your eyes  and the will to fight

I am here for you always my love 
And always will be for as long as you need me 
I will never give up as long as you have the will to live
 I have the will to nurse you 
I hope and pray
That maybe some day 
I will see you running free again
Someday soon 
Until the time comes to say goodbye.

*


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