# Funny examples of startling lack of knowledge in a horse owner?



## Shadowdancing (24 June 2016)

I'm trying to explain how non-clued up horse owners can be without being nasty about it- cos yes we've all had to learn. But some people who buy horses are honestly scary in their lack of knowledge... has anyone got a good example that's quite funny too and not too horrid to the person in question?

Thanks!


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## Pocketr@cket (24 June 2016)

I'm going to buy a baby so we can learn together.


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## paddi22 (24 June 2016)

saw one horse crib biting badly against a stable door  in a yard and the owner made a comment on how it was good for it because it stops the teeth getting too long (!??)


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## Merlod (24 June 2016)

Talking about 3 year old cob "you can tell he's going to be be big, he has a lot of loose skin!"

"Pawing the ground means they are saying thank-you"

"Just buy a cheaper saddle from the wholesale catalogue and then you can just buy another when it breaks"

"I don't pick his feet out to ride because all the mud comes out when I canter on the drive" (which is something I HATE, idiots cantering back up the stony yard driveway, even when you're on the yard with a horse!)

"Can horses see in the dark?"


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## applecart14 (24 June 2016)

I don't need to wear hi viz on the road when the sun is out as everyone can see me.   

Err no not really.  In fact exactly the situation when YOU DO need high viz due to sun glare in drivers eyes/blind spots when sun at top of hill, shadows from hedges etc, etc.


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## Merlod (24 June 2016)

applecart14 said:



			I don't need to wear hi viz on the road when the sun is out as everyone can see me.   

Err no not really.  In fact exactly the situation when YOU DO need high viz due to sun glare in drivers eyes/blind spots when sun at top of hill, shadows from hedges etc, etc.
		
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Ugh i've heard that, but because the owner's horse was grey so it would "show up more anyway"


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## Merlod (24 June 2016)

This one isn't a horse owner, but great nonetheless. Taking non horsey friend out or a walk hack, told to shorten reins - a few seconds later they pipe up, confused, saying "but there aren't any more holes for the buckle!"


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## Shadowdancing (24 June 2016)

Merlod hahahaha 

I did hear a story- can't believe this can be true, of a gelding's owner who called her vet out in a panic cos her horses intestines were falling out. 

Basically she'd not had him long and he'd just dropped while dozing on a nice hot day, scaring her half to death!


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## FlyingCircus (24 June 2016)

Horse hopping lame, "Do you think he looks abit off? I'm not sure..." - Uhm, yes! He's on 3 legs!
Horses back drops at a brush, hand, saddle or anything going near it, "He's really tense under saddle and puts his ears back when I ask him to go forward" 
*Ties 3 year old up to tie ring, no string, on solid wall and has a meltdown when 3 year old gets head and leg tangled* - This was honestly terrifying to watch. Owner flapping, pony terrified.
*Kicking horse on quite clearly* "Oh no, he can't stop...he's bolting..." - This seems to be a favourite with the teens at my yard...

Those are just things I can remember! But on a regular basis I see horses walking ALL over their owners. Won't pick up their feet, won't back up or move over, barge them out of the way.
Just this morning, one of the more sensible owners was taking out someone else's horse. That someone else lets their horse walk all over them and so this poor more sensible person got the brunt of it when the horse tanked and kicked her in the sternum!!!


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## Equi (24 June 2016)

It's okay to pay 100 for a stick cause it's used by famous trainers so must work.


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## william95 (24 June 2016)

Shadowdancing said:



			I'm trying to explain how non-clued up horse owners can be without being nasty about it- cos yes we've all had to learn. But some people who buy horses are honestly scary in their lack of knowledge... has anyone got a good example that's quite funny too and not too horrid to the person in question?

Thanks!
		
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A horse suffering from a mild colic attack and the owner thought it must have had a zap from the mains electric fencing and still feeling some electric shocks as it was occasionally kicking at its tummy!!


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## Mix26 (24 June 2016)

From a new livery a few years ago after it was painstakingly explained we swap to night turn out day time stand in in Summer ';My horse CANNOT possibly go out in the dark?
Me 'Why not'
Livery...... 'Because she is black! Black horses cannot go out at night'

Same lady 'Piebald horses have a kind nature, ALL of them are kind'


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## Nasicus (24 June 2016)

Relatively new owner in bits because her horse had poo'd (nice and healthy looking) twice in an hour, so he must have had the runs!

Welcome to horse ownership, here's a shovel and a wheelbarrow


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## windand rain (24 June 2016)

horse clearly suffering from colic they asked me if they needed to call a vet as they couldnt afford the callout


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## Damnation (24 June 2016)

Pocketr@cket said:



			I'm going to buy a baby so we can learn together.
		
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I did with my last horse, and we did learn together.



applecart14 said:



			I don't need to wear hi viz on the road when the sun is out as everyone can see me.   

Err no not really.  In fact exactly the situation when YOU DO need high viz due to sun glare in drivers eyes/blind spots when sun at top of hill, shadows from hedges etc, etc.
		
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Nothing worse - horseriders and cyclists underestimate how shaded it is under trees and how difficult it is to see them as a driver!


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## joulsey (24 June 2016)

When the horse is stood resting a hind leg " be careful her leg is up, shes going to kick you if you go near her"


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## Fun Times (24 June 2016)

Threads like this make me a bit sad to be honest. I hate the idea of "laughing at" people and calling them stupid. Just explain to them why you disagree with their opinions face to face - don't go on line laughing at them and smugly commenting on their lack of intelligence...sorry, I am normally a fun kind of person, but this just highlights to me all that is cruddy in the horse world.


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## Micropony (24 June 2016)

Fun Times said:



			Threads like this make me a bit sad to be honest. I hate the idea of "laughing at" people and calling them stupid. Just explain to them why you disagree with their opinions face to face - don't go on line laughing at them and smugly commenting on their lack of intelligence...sorry, I am normally a fun kind of person, but this just highlights to me all that is cruddy in the horse world.
		
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I agree a little bit. Whilst some people do seem determined to remain clueless, those of us who weren't lucky enough to be brought up around horses have got to start somewhere. When you're just starting out you haven't learnt enough to figure out who to listen to and who's talking twaddle.


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## spacefaer (24 June 2016)

Woman who had owned horses all her life - read an advert where it said the horse had a lovely uphill canter - she wondered how it coped on flat ground.  ....

Never bet on a grey racehorse as all grey horses are chicken . ???


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## Elf On A Shelf (24 June 2016)

A girl that works in the yard, has ridden and worked with horses for gawd knows how many years (is totally useless btw!) bought a horse to point to point to prove to us all that she can gallop a horse and she can jump one - something we do not, under any circumstances allow her to do with the racers because she is not capable. So she buys said horse, sight unseen, and says to us - they told me he was sharp but I don't know what that means.

And people wonder why I don't even contemplate tolerating her...


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## Antw23uk (24 June 2016)

EKW said:



			A girl that works in the yard, has ridden and worked with horses for gawd knows how many years (is totally useless btw!) bought a horse to point to point to prove to us all that she can gallop a horse and she can jump one - something we do not, under any circumstances allow her to do with the racers because she is not capable. So she buys said horse, sight unseen, and says to us - they told me he was sharp but I don't know what that means.

And people wonder why I don't even contemplate tolerating her...
		
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This made me laugh out loud hahaa


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## alison247 (24 June 2016)

From my livery who was looking after my horse whilst I was on holiday.
"Oh no I'm sorry he's gone"
Whilst on my mobile on a beach, that my horse had died of colic, when he was down and groaning.
Then her phone went dead- no battery for half an hour. When I phoned back the vet was there and he had wind!


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## Elf On A Shelf (24 June 2016)

Antw23uk said:



			This made me laugh out loud hahaa
		
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I would be more tempted to laugh if I didn't actually genuinely fear for the horses life. Hers I'm not so fussed about.


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## Charlie007 (24 June 2016)

Some of these are funny but I do worry about the horses.


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## Clodagh (24 June 2016)

From a livery at the yard I worked on 'Oh the vet has been out and he has sore hocks, I am not sure if it is ghis front hocks or back hocks, the vet didn't say'.


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## Sukistokes2 (24 June 2016)

A lively when came to my yard was unclear about what I meant when I asked if she wanted her horse shod. 

When I was a kid I had a horse book that had a very poor version of a wAll eye, for years, because of this illustration I thought wall eye meant a white patch under the eye!!


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## Jim bob (24 June 2016)

From another livery. I got a phone call early morning ' L, S is covered in blood, its all down his head and legs!' ' What!?! Well can you see where?!?' ' No I have to get to work' 

Later while waiting for a vet ( Injury looked like a kick to the head and he had a nose bleed) ' I wouldn't bother calling the vet they wont be able to stitch his nose up' Turned out he had a fractured forehead.

A few days later ' I wasn't actually going to call you a few days ago' WHAT!!??!!


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## FlyingCircus (24 June 2016)

Fun Times said:



			Threads like this make me a bit sad to be honest. I hate the idea of "laughing at" people and calling them stupid. Just explain to them why you disagree with their opinions face to face - don't go on line laughing at them and smugly commenting on their lack of intelligence...sorry, I am normally a fun kind of person, but this just highlights to me all that is cruddy in the horse world.
		
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The people I mention I help on a regular basis with their horses and answer all their questions to the best of my ability. I'm always friendly and open for a chat and they come to me for help often.
Even they laugh at themselves looking back at how much of a numpty they used to be!


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## Queenbee (24 June 2016)

Shadowdancing said:



			I'm trying to explain how non-clued up horse owners can be without being nasty about it- cos yes we've all had to learn. But some people who buy horses are honestly scary in their lack of knowledge... has anyone got a good example that's quite funny too and not too horrid to the person in question?

Thanks!
		
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One of the things I witnessed

Two women, sending a grossly obese horse to a loan home, as an aside this horse was hard work, nappy, a git, and a damned hard project.  It had been sat in the field stuffing its face and ridden once in a blue moon (by ridden I mean sat on by the kids).  Turns up at the yard and a year later the horse is amazing, looks hunting fit and anyone on here would look and say - healthy, fit, perfect weight and condition, its worked almost every day, jumps a nice course, balls out on the xc course, great in the school and bar the odd half hearted nap, great to hack too... Proud loaner invites owners to a local SJ event and they claim the horse looks like a welfare case, there must be something wrong and a vet must be got out tomorrow for bloods, if no better in a month they are taking the horse back.  They started this conversation in the middle of the event in front of a load of other people, many of which stood up in support of loaner and how fantastic the horse looked condition wise.  

Not only utterly ignorant in their knowledge and attitude but totally inappropriate in their handling of the conversation which should have been best kept for after the event and in private.

Owners called by loaner the next day to be asked to come and collect their horse ASAP.  

A combination of lack of knowledge and utter disgraceful rudeness and bad handling of a situation.  Personally from seeing all the hard work and the fantastic results from the loaner they should have been on their knees thanking her.


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## spike123 (24 June 2016)

a horse owner on my old yard. Think my horse has a cold he's got a really snotty nose. Said horse had choke. A young girl screaming because her horse had lots of blood coming out of his leg and she thought he was dying. Horse had a small graze and nothing major to worry about at all. In young girls defence he's her first horse and she's only 11yrs old so still learning. First example though had had several horses for about 9yrs so was shocked at their lack of knowledge.


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## Zero00000 (24 June 2016)

Not a horse owner, but someone who came to see my horse for loan got her in whilst she was there, tied her up, said let's groom before we tack up, lady picks something from the grooming kit 'shall I use this' erm, 'that's a stirrup tread, try this one'...


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## MagicMelon (24 June 2016)

Watched a thought-she-knew-it-all pony club mum years ago "brushing" a pony with a metal curry comb... (ie. the kind you only use for cleaning brushes).


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## webble (24 June 2016)

Reading this thread just shows how mean spirited the horse world is. I'm sure we all asked silly questions or misunderstood something once, I would hate to think someone was mocking me for not knowing


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## Exploding Chestnuts (24 June 2016)

Zero00000 said:



			Not a horse owner, but someone who came to see my horse for loan got her in whilst she was there, tied her up, said let's groom before we tack up, lady picks something from the grooming kit 'shall I use this' erm, 'that's a stirrup tread, try this one'...
		
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I was introduced to a lady as "she is a horse trainer in Germany,"    yes "someone sent her a showjunoer to freshen up so stabled it for five days!
She asked me to show her how to muck out , as apparently she had no experience of manual tasks!


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## Clodagh (24 June 2016)

webble said:



			Reading this thread just shows how mean spirited the horse world is. I'm sure we all asked silly questions or misunderstood something once, I would hate to think someone was mocking me for not knowing
		
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I can mock myself, I have done some truly stupid things and am really old enough (with horse owning parents) to know better.


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## Fun Times (24 June 2016)

MagicMelon said:



			Watched a thought-she-knew-it-all pony club mum years ago "brushing" a pony with a metal curry comb... (ie. the kind you only use for cleaning brushes).
		
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Standard practice for me when a hairy is shedding - its no different to using a shedding rake or whatever they are called.


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## Leo Walker (24 June 2016)

Ex YO would NOT admit that my horse who was on full livery was very fat. She dismissed his footiness as needing shoes, not the LGL it was. She looked me in the eyes and told me that my trimmer had crippled him, even though he was slightly sounder after his trim. When I asked her why she told me when he walked his frogs were touching the floor and that it was crippling him! Hardly surprising as she sat me down and asked me if I really couldnt see he had lost weight. He'd put nearly a 80kgs on, admittedly on a weight tape, but he'd still piled weight on. And sadly, that was just one of a ridiculous number of things she said!


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## Lintel (25 June 2016)

Pocketr@cket said:



			I'm going to buy a baby so we can learn together.
		
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Haha if I had a pound for every time I've heard that!

- Good one the other week, from someone who confesses to being naive but is learning from partner and others at the yard.
"Will you ever breed off him?"

..him being my gelding.


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## Kezzabell2 (25 June 2016)

Another person who bought a baby to learn together on. Learnt to ride from book. I mentioned sitting trot one day, she asked what that was!!!


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## AShetlandBitMeOnce (25 June 2016)

I asked my YO whether I should be concerned that Jake had a lot of white snot coming out of his nose after schooling, he just had got dust up there as the school was a bit dry. 

I asked today what the function of the chain on a pelham is as I have been advised to ride him in one for hunter classes. 

I told her that her pony's sheath looked a little swollen and he was kicking towards his stomach.. He just has a big willy and feather mites. 

I am a horse owner, I admit I am a novice horse owner in some areas of ownership that I haven't yet had many dealings with.. I would rather ask and be labelled stupid than miss something important, or do something that will cause Jake discomfort.


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## alainax (25 June 2016)

It took me a long time to get my head around " gelding for sale due to pregnancy"


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## brighteyes (25 June 2016)

paddi22 said:



			saw one horse crib biting badly against a stable door  in a yard and the owner made a comment on how it was good for it because it stops the teeth getting too long (!??)
		
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Good grief!


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## Cinnamontoast (25 June 2016)

A mate told me she never picks out her horse's feet as he kicks the door and shakes it all out. I was like :eek3: What about the back feet and the lovely sharp stones lodged in there? 



Fun Times said:



			Standard practice for me when a hairy is shedding - its no different to using a shedding rake or whatever they are called.
		
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I don't see the difference between a shedding blade and a metal curry comb. I've used plastic pan scrubbers on mine before, it gets out all the dead skin. 

I'm constantly amazed at the lack of knowledge about various things. I watched in dismay as a newbie at my yard started cantering and jumping her new pony within minutes of getting in the school. She's pony club, I thought they were taught to warm up first.


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## EBHouse (25 June 2016)

There is a novice-y lady at my yard who insists on feeding her horse a full feed as horse comes in from the field before riding, and then then again immediately after the horse has been ridden. 

Several concerned staff members and liveries have approached her over the years and she has never listened, insists this is fine. 

Fortunately the horse in question has never been ill from it. However this does nothing to dissuade her from continuing to do it


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## Crugeran Celt (25 June 2016)

Did make me laugh a few years ago when a friend of mine asked to come riding with me. She had ridden 'a lot'as a teenager and was more than capable of coming out in the mountain for a hack with me.  Asked the YO if I could borrow her lovely quiet mare and arranged to ride.  Asked friend if she wanted me to tack up but she said she was fine with that. I led my mare out onto the yard where my friend was waiting with a very confused looking horse whose saddle was on backwards! Both had a giggle over it and had a great ride.


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## Leo Walker (25 June 2016)

EBHouse said:



			There is a novice-y lady at my yard who insists on feeding her horse a full feed as horse comes in from the field before riding, and then then again immediately after the horse has been ridden. 

Several concerned staff members and liveries have approached her over the years and she has never listened, insists this is fine. 

Fortunately the horse in question has never been ill from it. However this does nothing to dissuade her from continuing to do it 

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It depends what shes feeding though! Fibre feeds are fine immediately before riding and can actually be beneficial if you have an ulcer prone horse


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## EmmasMummy (26 June 2016)

FrankieCob said:



			It depends what shes feeding though! Fibre feeds are fine immediately before riding and can actually be beneficial if you have an ulcer prone horse 

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yup, I discovered by accident that our Sec A was happier ridden after some chaff.  Also took his mind off food as he had a food obsession.


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## GirlFriday (26 June 2016)

Zero00000 said:



			Not a horse owner, but someone who came to see my horse for loan got her in whilst she was there, tied her up, said let's groom before we tack up, lady picks something from the grooming kit 'shall I use this' erm, 'that's a stirrup tread, try this one'...
		
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Probably looked (and would have worked) a lot like a rubber comb - excellent for getting mud off!


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## sasquatch (26 June 2016)

Not from horse owners, but from when I was helping with the RS.

We had a birthday party of smaller children, some who hadn't ridden much if at all. Whilst they would be on the wee ponies, I had to lead one of the lovely (but not much of a looker) coloured cobs past them into his stable.

One of the children pointed and yelled 'IS THAT A COW?!' very loudly, and her friend (I assume she had ridden more) replied even louder, 'THAT'S NOW A COW, THAT'S JASPER! DON'T BE SO RUDE!' 

I was glad the horses stable was round the back, me and my friend spent a good 5 minutes laughing. 

also had another incident where friend was asked by a little boy why couldn't he extend himself like his pony, and unfortunately it was very specific to a certain part of male anatomy. Friend didn't know what to say, so she replied with something like 'it's to make sure there's no splash back'


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## Bilbo_Baggins (26 June 2016)

I have been trying to think of some, but the only one that really came to mine was something I did!  I was having a group riding lesson and the instructor was telling us to "pull".  I would "pull" (ask for halt) and the horse would obviously stop.  She would then tell me to get back into a trot and then once I was established she was say "now PULL"  I didn't want to yank the ponies back teeth out, but I again asked the pony to halt.  This went on for about 10 mins until a very frustrated me stopped in the middle of the arena near the instructor.  After a couple of minutes of confused conversation I figured out by pull she meant jumping position.  I had never heard it called that before. The whole group including me had a good laugh about it. I did learn that if in doubt see what everyone else in the class is doing. I could have figured it out for myself a lot sooner doing that or just saying to the instructor in the first place that I didn't understand what she wanted!

Also related to sasquatch's post, kids say the funniest things! I worked in a trekking centre and the wee ones always asked if the coloured horses were cows.  Of course my other favourite was family group treks.  The wee ones would think they were riding the baby horses and that their parents were riding the Mummy and Daddy horses.  Kids are so cute.


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## EventingMum (26 June 2016)

I've related this on here before but for those that haven't previously seen it: When I was young a lady we knew of had two nondescript ponies, she called one an arab and one a thoroughbred though they clearly weren't. She had started breeding from them and for the sake of conversation I asked if she would like fillies or colts this time to which she replied she'd like geldings this time as she'd already had a filly and a colt. My parents quickly changed the subject before I embarrassed them by enlightening her!


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## fidleyspromise (26 June 2016)

EKW said:



			A girl that works in the yard, has ridden and worked with horses for gawd knows how many years (is totally useless btw!) bought a horse to point to point to prove to us all that she can gallop a horse and she can jump one - something we do not, under any circumstances allow her to do with the racers because she is not capable. So she buys said horse, sight unseen, and says to us - they told me he was sharp but I don't know what that means.

And people wonder why I don't even contemplate tolerating her...
		
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Jeepers.  I was at work and had my fiance phone to enquire about a New Forest and although they had sold her, they had another but she was sharp.  My fiance mentioned that would be ok because she was primarily a companion.  (I was proud of him for knowing and being able to discuss my needs in a horse as he is not horsey and had minimal contact with mine at that time).



AShetlandBitMeOnce said:



			.....
I am a horse owner, I admit I am a novice horse owner in some areas of ownership that I haven't yet had many dealings with.. I would rather ask and be labelled stupid than miss something important, or do something that will cause Jake discomfort.
		
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This is as it should be.  I am always happy to help others on the yard and regardless of my experience, still ask questions on why/how others manage their horses as you never know what useful nuggets you will learn or be able to impart something to them.



sasquatch said:



			also had another incident where friend was asked by a little boy why couldn't he extend himself like his pony, and unfortunately it was very specific to a certain part of male anatomy. Friend didn't know what to say, so she replied with something like 'it's to make sure there's no splash back'
		
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I would have NO IDEA how to answer that one and so glad it has never come up.



EventingMum said:



			I've related this on here before but for those that haven't previously seen it: When I was young a lady we knew of had two nondescript ponies, she called one an arab and one a thoroughbred though they clearly weren't. She had started breeding from them and for the sake of conversation I asked if she would like fillies or colts this time to which she replied she'd like geldings this time as she'd already had a filly and a colt. My parents quickly changed the subject before I embarrassed them by enlightening her!
		
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Blimey!  Just.  Wow.


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## Shantara (26 June 2016)

I remember working at the Open University and talking to a man, who's wife was buying a horse, because she was bored of her yacht! Could she ride? Nope! Thankfully she was going to get some lessons after she'd bought it. Hopefully it went well!


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## rowan666 (26 June 2016)

EventingMum said:



			I've related this on here before but for those that haven't previously seen it: When I was young a lady we knew of had two nondescript ponies, she called one an arab and one a thoroughbred though they clearly weren't. She had started breeding from them and for the sake of conversation I asked if she would like fillies or colts this time to which she replied she'd like geldings this time as she'd already had a filly and a colt. My parents quickly changed the subject before I embarrassed them by enlightening her!
		
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Oh my dear god, words fail me :-(


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## skewbaldmillie (26 June 2016)

Not really about horse owners but I found this too funny not to share.
Last summer I was working at a trekking centre and there was also a children's riding holiday running, one of the kids(who had become a know it all, aged 8 after a week of riding) turned to one of the daily trek people who just came for a once off ride and said " you will probably ride Amber gecause she's fat and you are too". I tried so hard not to smile as I then had to inform the man that he would riding Amber!!


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## NZJenny (26 June 2016)

Owner who used to smack her horse every time it had "relaxed ears", because she thought that it was ears back and the horse was going to bite her.

And plenty who have fed what it said on the bag, because that was what it said on the bag.


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## Zoe67 (27 June 2016)

paddi22 said:



			saw one horse crib biting badly against a stable door  in a yard and the owner made a comment on how it was good for it because it stops the teeth getting too long (!??)
		
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This applies to rats! Definitely not horses...


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## Luci07 (27 June 2016)

I don't want to poke fun at novices because I can remember some of my mistakes when I started. When I was only 10 I would help with the hunters next door, mucking out etc. Still remember my fury when having mucked out, one of the visiting sons offered to help and asked me where I wanted the water bucket. I pointed to the front of the stable only to see him then pour an entire bucket of water out! Or people who for s long time, thought I called my son "Spot" because I always wanted to get home to "put my boy to bed"....


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## Casey76 (27 June 2016)

When I was 14 or 15, I used to occasionally help out at a stables.  One day another girl and I were tasked with mucking out of the back boxes.  After we had taken about 3 barrows of heavy, wet, stinking straw out of one box we were stopped and asked what we were doing... only to be told after  that these boxes were deep littered and they only needed the poo taking off the top... oops!


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## Sukistokes2 (27 June 2016)

MagicMelon said:



			Watched a thought-she-knew-it-all pony club mum years ago "brushing" a pony with a metal curry comb... (ie. the kind you only use for cleaning brushes).
		
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I read a very old horse book once, that had a section on how to treat and instruct your groom. Apparently you should dismiss a groom that uses a metal curry comb on a horse as its slovenly and lazy behaviour. 

Used gently its quite good for pinging mud off!!


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## Shadowdancing (27 June 2016)

Sukistokes2 said:



			I read a very old horse book once, that had a section on how to treat and instruct your groom. Apparently you should dismiss a groom that uses a metal curry comb on a horse as its slovenly and lazy behaviour. 

Used gently its quite good for pinging mud off!!
		
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Yes on big patches I always use it! Guess I'm fired...!!


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## Annagain (27 June 2016)

sasquatch said:



			also had another incident where friend was asked by a little boy why couldn't he extend himself like his pony, and unfortunately it was very specific to a certain part of male anatomy. Friend didn't know what to say, so she replied with something like 'it's to make sure there's no splash back'
		
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I've mentioned this before but a friend brought her little boy to see the horses, he must have been about 4 at the time. Archie always has a wee as soon as he goes into is stable. My friend's son was watching, fascinated and then excitedly declared "Mummy that's horse has got a foldaway willy, can I have one?" 

He's a teenager now and I'm not cruel enough to mention it at the moment, but can't wait until he's older so I can wind him up with it!  

I had an interesting time with a fellow livery whose cob gets sweet itch. She insisted (I think maybe still does but she's gone quiet about it now) that a sweet itch is a creature that lives in the horse's skin. When I said no, it's a reaction to midge saliva she got quite nasty and told me I was completely ignorant and I've never dealt with it so can't know anything about it. (My old boy whom I had 14 years had it). 

We ended up having a bit of a debate (god knows why I bothered). I asked her to explain why, therefore a sweet itch rug stopped it, she said it didn't stop it but it protected the horse's coat from the trees etc when he was scratching. My next point was that only her horse had it despite sharing the field with others so why hadn't these creatures jumped onto the other horses. Apparently  they're either born with the sweet itches (plural!) or without. This is no novice, she's owned horse for over 20 years, including this poor chap for about 10!


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## baran (27 June 2016)

Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!


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## baran (27 June 2016)

Another livery was concerned and told me OH was cantering "in the wrong place". She had just bought her first horse, only having ridden in a riding school and thought you should only ask for canter in the corner. Fair enough, as that was what she had been taught.


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## Shadowdancing (27 June 2016)

baran said:



			Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!
		
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I love this!!!


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## Sprat (27 June 2016)

baran said:



			Friend who had ridden for years but had never had a formal lesson decided to treat herself for the 50th birthday. The instructor told her to "change the rein across the long diagonal". Fortunately he stopped her before she had managed to unbuckle both sides!
		
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:lol: I have just spat my tea onto my laptop after snorting at this!

There is a lovely lady at our yard who has had her boy for about 12 years. He's a real good doer and cobby type, she isn't too keen on riding / exercising him now, so to get some weight off of him, she took a wheelbarrow of hay into his field, and walked around sprinkling it everywhere for him, to encourage him to walk more whilst grazing...


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## Carrots&Mints (27 June 2016)

I had one last night - M showing slight signs of colic - another livery said 'do you want some antibiotics?'..... I just said no its ok thanks, I was very confused!! Luckily M had a big trump followed by a big number 2, panic over!


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## Zero00000 (27 June 2016)

ThursdayNext said:



			Probably looked (and would have worked) a lot like a rubber comb - excellent for getting mud off!
		
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That I could understand if she were muddy,
It was a gorgeous sunny day mid summer not a spec of mud in site, and if my kit was lack of brushes I could also understand, it wasn't on the top as they were spares.
I went through some of the brushes and explained their use, she was very pleased. It didn't work out, but always makes me smile to myself when I think about it


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## maximoo (27 June 2016)

Known people just bought a dressage horse ex thousands of pounds as father top world ranking rating never had a warmblood before now can't ride as to hot things people do to impress


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## Holding (27 June 2016)

Not exactly lack of knowledge but my own example of horsey idiocy - a fellow livery had lost her yearling filly when she got tangled up in some barbed wire, so when a mutual acquaintance stopped by the yard and asked how her baby was, my response was "oh, it was awful - she died". I then proceeded to have a five minute conversation about what a tragedy this was before remembering that livery had just given birth six months ago and acquaintance was more than likely talking about the human baby - one of my most memorable gaffes!


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## littleshetland (27 June 2016)

A non horsey friend of mine set off on a trekking holiday in Wales.  She though it would be a good idea to take paper knickers, to avoid dirty washing, and have nice clean undies everyday.  Every evening after a hrs day in the saddle, she'd take her 'riding trousers' off and a confetti of shredded paper would flutter out - leaving her with a piece of elastic around her waist........


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## Caol Ila (27 June 2016)

Some things, however, are said by people who should know better.

My horse can take irrational dislikes to some yards -- one of her less appealing quirks since it's meant I've had to move until I found a yard she likes, and unfortunately she likes expensive ones (the lady must be kept to the lifetsyle to which she is accustomed, but nevermind).

Anyway, the first yard she was at when I moved to Glasgow she took an irrational dislike to, and she would not settle for love nor money.  She paced in her field, jumped fences, and while she was perfectly pleasant to ride, she was miserable in turnout.  I had the vet test her for stuff, in case there was something physically wrong with her.  He didn't find anything.  Horse was, as I said, fine to ride, and she looked great; she had a gloriously glossy coat.  The yard owner insisted I keep pushing the vet for an answer even though he'd found bupkes.  I said as much.  The yard owner, who by all accounts had been in the horse business for a couple decades, said, "But she's too shiny!  Her blood must be too hot!"

Huh?


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## ponyparty (28 June 2016)

Well I did something rather stupid myself at the weekend, which I'm still laughing at now...
Took Fatty out to a little dressage comp, his first time on a trailer in 2 years, and my first time out competing on my own.
Got myself in a complete tizz, not helped by my mum arriving and giving me a (late, as usual) birthday present that my estranged father had sent to her house. Stress levels through the roof and a thousand things whirling through my mind all at once!
Finished our last test, untacked and starting getting ready to load up again - still in a state of panic, I was literally shaking - trying to put travel boot on Fatty's foreleg, why won't it fit!? 
Then transport man helpfully piped up - "isn't that for his tail"  I was only trying to put his tail guard on his leg hahahahahahahaha... 
Worked out well though, the ensuing laughter made me feel a thousand times better and relaxed me for the journey home!  what a div hehe!


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## AppyLover (28 June 2016)

I've done some pretty stupid stuff in the last year or so of horse ownership

- Put one of those Be Nice Halters on like a bridle for awhile before i realised it undid at the side  (its prob a good thing Ted hated the thing as I always tangled it up after I took it off and spent 10 mins working out how to make it look normal again  )

In the past month I've been borrowing a few of my YOs things at the moment for Teds groundwork lessons and done the following in the same morning 

- Put magnetic boots on his front by accident before i was told what they were (In my defense they didn't actually say anything and looked exactly like the other brushing boots in the box)

- Put boots on the wrong legs knowing full well what direction the velcro should go

Think I was to nervous for his first groundwork lesson that everything else went out the window haha

I also use what some see as a brush cleaning metal curry comb as a normal curry shedding blade type thing and Robinsons actually sell them as grooming brushes


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## ponyparty (28 June 2016)

Glad it's not just me, AppyLover!


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## Sukistokes2 (28 June 2016)

Holding said:



			Not exactly lack of knowledge but my own example of horsey idiocy - a fellow livery had lost her yearling filly when she got tangled up in some barbed wire, so when a mutual acquaintance stopped by the yard and asked how her baby was, my response was "oh, it was awful - she died". I then proceeded to have a five minute conversation about what a tragedy this was before remembering that livery had just given birth six months ago and acquaintance was more than likely talking about the human baby - one of my most memorable gaffes!
		
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You are being too hard on yourself.......a human baby hardly ever enters the equation !!


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## epemberton94 (28 June 2016)

Someone at my old yard once put overreach boots on their new pony 'to keep her feet warm' ...


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## Nessa4 (29 June 2016)

One of my favourites was a friend of mine who had done quite a lot of riding at a local stables but never been involved with the tacking/untacking process.  We got back from a hack and the YO asked him to "take him in and untack him".  He disappeared for about half an hour and emerged triumphant - and handed me a bundle of leather, saying "wasn't sure what to undo so undid everything" - he had completely dismantled the bridle!  For an encore he had made a good job of rugging - apart from the fact that the breast straps were neatly under the horse's tail and the fillet string tied across his chest.  Horse looked very confused.


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## Woolly Hat n Wellies (29 June 2016)

The words: "It's weight-loss feed. The more I feed her, the more she'll lose weight!"


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## case895 (29 June 2016)

Friend to me "What do you call those girths for horses wearing studs?"
"Would you believe a stud girth?"

Same friend "That horse had got custard on."
She meant evening grease and could not remember the name.


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## EQUIDAE (29 June 2016)

case895 said:



			Same friend "That horse had got custard on."
She meant evening grease and could not remember the name.
		
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What's evening grease?


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## SpringArising (29 June 2016)

EQUIDAE said:



			What's evening grease?
		
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Eventing grease.


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## case895 (29 June 2016)

EQUIDAE said:



			What's evening grease?
		
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A spelling mistake which HHO would not let me correct.


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## EQUIDAE (29 June 2016)

case895 said:



			A spelling mistake which HHO would not let me correct.
		
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Seems HHO is doing a lot of that today...


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## Gottaloveaginger (29 June 2016)

I always get asked "have you been to see your horses today/this week?" Nah I couldn't be bothered today, thought they would be fine to muck out their own stables and change their own rugs! They can't believe that I visit them twice a day, everyday, 365 days of the year! 
What would these people think if i asked them if they looked after their child today/this week?!!!
Also trying to describe to my best friend from the Czech Republic about horse care and riding really makes me question why we do these things or use these gadgets when you are trying to describe their uses! She asked me if we could do that "thing where they run fast." (Trotting! !)


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