# confidence tips....getting back on after a bad fall?



## Hemirjtm (24 January 2007)

Not for me, but i was just wondering if anyone has lost their confidence and then got it back again...if so, what helped you? What did you do to get it back? Did it take a good horse, or just a kick up the backside? How long did it take you?

ok enough questions!!

I lost my confidence, and the will to live (ok exagertating (sp!) a little sorry!). I had had Hemir for about 4 months and everthing was going really well, but he was getting fitter! He then showd me what he was capable of - rearing spining round on his hind quarters and galloping off in the other direction, because of a motorbike! I was hacking on my own, and he scared me so much i was in tears by the end of it, I didn't get off but thats what i wanted to do.  I couldn't go out on my own for about 4 months...then one day my mum had had enough and told me that i was just being stupid and am a good enough rider, that that sort of thing shouldn't scare me (but it did!). That was the kick up the rear end that i needed...I had a good talk with my mum, and we arranged a plan to be able to get my confidence back....It worked, Last Sunday i went out and was having such a lovely time i lost track of how long i had been out, came home to find i'd been out for 3hrs!! Then this afternoon, I was out for 2hrs - went out in the sunshine and came home in the snow, it was lovely, we had a canter in the snow and i couldn't see where i was going, so litteraly had to trust him, I had an angel underneath me, he didn't put a foot wrong! I think something has finally gone right for us and something has clicked into place - here's hoping this year will carry on being just as good it was today and suday! It's taken 6 months to get my confidence back to where it was before...I've proberly got even more now!! 
	
	
		
		
	


	





...please share your stories...

my bad fall!

I was helping one of my mums friends to break in her pony, everything was going OK untill we started cantering...5 bucks later i had landed on my head and was in sooo much pain, went to the hospital they said it was nothing so a week later i got back on another horse, the best and the worst thing ever....2 weeks after the accident i got back on this pony and carried on working with her as if nothing had happened!!

My horse tripped and fell on top of me, i fell onto my shoulder and went to the hospital cos i couldn't move it - 3  weeks off sports (she wanted it to be 5 weeks!!) and I was back on board after 1 week, naughty me!! 
	
	
		
		
	


	










hope everyone is OK!! And i'm soooo enjoying the SNOW!


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## JustKickOn (24 January 2007)

well when i flew out of the side door the other week i actualyl refused to ride the pony again as he has done similar with me before but this was the 1st time i'd come off. i didnt want to ride him as he bit me when i stood up and cba to get him going nicely for once. riding him this sunday for 1st time in 3 weeks, rode a different horse though lol

after a fall, you need to get checked over, check your hat is okay, and if you fele up to it get back on, thats probably what i'd say is the best thing to do unless you are seriously injured, the horse is injured or if your hat is damaged


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## ThomasTank (24 January 2007)

I got hit by a car in 1993 and I still hate the roads. Fine if i am on the inside riding two abreast. Thomas lived to see another day and he doesnt seem to care a hoot !!


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## Hemirjtm (24 January 2007)

bless him!! The mare i had 'on loan' had a car crash at 15 and broke her back leg...was told she wouldn't make it...then told she wouldn't be ridden again...at 24 she was jumping 3ft courses with me and now at nearly 26 she has retired!!!


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## treacle_beastie (24 January 2007)

I fell off in gallop at a riding school and broke my humerous in two, it was snowing and my body shut down due to being in the ground for too long before the helicopter came - it took 3 months to even start healing and I wasn't allowed to ride for 7 months.  At the start I said I never wanted to ride again  - I had been riding for 16 years and had bags of confidence.  After about a month I knew I would ride again and it seemed like forever until I could.  I found a sturdy highland to get back into it and the first time I sat on it I shook like crazy but eventually I was able to start having fun again.  It has been 3 years since my fall and I have only just started to get back to normal but I am still nervous occasionally but not for a fear of falling - just lose my confidence now and again especially when jumping. When I do something I was nervous of though the feeling is immense afterwards and eventually you build on that and it over-rides the nervousness in the first place so you can just get on with it!


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## Chex (24 January 2007)

I lost my confidence abit after my last fall. I was riding the YOs new horse for her, but he turned out to be a bit of a fruitloop. However the fall was mostly due to my shoddy balance, but if he hadn't jumped like a complete plank it would have helped. Anyway, fell off and broke my leg. Wasn't allowed to ride for almost 6 months, and the longer I didn't ride the more nervous I got. But luckily my darling Chex helped me out, I felt so safe again after just a 10 mintue walk round the field on him. Won't be getting on any other horses for a while though, just won't risk it!


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## Toby_Zaphod (24 January 2007)

Daughter came off badly &amp; heavily at a local show. Cleared a jump, landed, horse lost footing then got footing back, daughter went out the side door at speed &amp; landed with the small of her back across a rail of post &amp; rail fencing. There was a horrible sound, a scream, she bounced off &amp; landed in nettles. She was in agony &amp; couldn't move.

I watched it happen with her mother &amp; it was horrible. We had paramedics &amp; a blue light run to hospital. It was looked bad we honestly thought she'd be in a wheelchair. Xrays were done, fortunately nothing broken. She had a severely bruised back &amp; she had difficulty walking for a few weeks. She was on powerful painkillers &amp; her confidence took a severe knock.

After about a month/six weerks she got on him again still in pain, was very apprehensive but loves him so much she knew she'd get over it. We chatted with her &amp; she realised that it wasn't his fault or her fault, it was an accident, he stumbled, it was no ones fault. She's now riding as if it never happened &amp; is back jumping again.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Daughter knew that the lad would never knowingly do anything to hurt her &amp; accidents happen. She was just unlucky that day.


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## Molineux (24 January 2007)

I had a very bad fall when I was 14 however I was 14!! I had a horrible pony called Sharday, she put me in hospital all the time.. And then the end she put me in hospital for 2 months, and I was in a wheel chair with 2 broken knee caps, a broken nose, a broken hand and a broken collar bone. 
When I was in hospital I was saying to my dad that was it I never wanted that horse again, I wanted her to go before I got out of hospital 
	
	
		
		
	


	




... I then said no I need to get back on her, so I did all I did was walk round the field with her, and the yo was leading me.
In the end I did sell her as she did used to scare me 
	
	
		
		
	


	





After that I had a break for a few months, I then got a lovely arab called Micha all ok no accidents for 2 years!! 

I then got my horse Dillon who was GREAT fun, I was doing a sponsord ride on and being soooooooooooo silly I decided to jump these massive straw bailes, however I had been cantering through 3 fields before this, so he was a little tired. 
Went to jump the fence and he stopped, I should of let it go there, however NO I wanted to do the fence, so went into the fence and he did not pick his front feet up in which his back legs just came over the front of him.
I was winded (First time!) thought I was going to die! Went to hospital and I was bleeding from my Kidney was which was not good at all. 
Anyway cut the long strong short - I was ok, and that fall was not as big as my last fall, however it really did scare the [****] out of me! my horse went lame and he did a sus Tendon could never jump again 
	
	
		
		
	


	




 how bad did I feel.... 

Dillon then went to another home - I had around 1 year off from owning a horse, still went and rode other horses. 
I then built a lot of my confidence up from riding BBS old horse Bert he was great - I then got Wolfe who is a nut case, but safe sometimes! 
I had lessons etc which really did help, and just by having someone with me when I jump is so much better. 

All in all - I am trying to say it does help if you have lessons with someone who can build your confidence back up. 

A friend of mine broke her back from falling on a horse, she was told she could never ride again. 
She wanted to just sit on a horse, she was crapping her self, however we put on a VERY safe horse and all she did was walk round the school with a back pro on and I was leading her round, just so she could say '' I got back on''! 

Good luck - it will come I know it will.xxxx

Oops sorry went on a bit then!!


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## Forget_Me_Not (24 January 2007)

As most know I was on bolting, unstoppable, horses heading for the road, turned so quick away from dualcarriage way we came crashing down, the exeventer *not a skinny one either* landed on me crashing my ankle to break, doing alot of damage to tissue etc etc.... I found I was terrifed when being driven fast around corners or coming close needing breaks.... *in plaster at this point* Months later still do, but just put my fears to one side. 

Since the accident I rode once at collage *checky as only had plaster off a week* Was on a lovely horse that we picked, had a brillant lesson, and wasn't scaried just so over joyed to be on a horse. Left it a few more months planning to go and ride the horse who did it, but with xmas, the rain, I still haven't manged to, not because I'm scaried though well not in the school any how. A few weekends back when I felt my youngster was ready I mounted him and walked around, Wasn't scared as never had a bad experience with him athough sold as a troublem bad horse..... He did bang off and I thought 'Here we go, this is it, the things everyones told me will happen' I again wasn't scared though. He pulled up *shows the months of work* and I did think I want to get off but I didn't let in settle walked him and dismounted. Sadly havn't been able to ride again, weather, busy etc etc. I know I will have to get my confidence out on the bridle paths, spesh leading to roads! 

*I think you can work on a riding part that you are most confident on *In my case schooling* and then conker you fears of the part you are more scaried of *for me bridle paths/roads**


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## SouthWestWhippet (24 January 2007)

Just gone through this as I got chucked off a bolting 4yr old backing project and fractured my spine about 3 months ago.

Was told not to ride for 3 months but was so paranoid that I would have lost my nerve and winding myself up a treat about it that I ended up getting on a friend's quiet cob after about 3.5 wks. Was shaking like a leaf but didn't say anything, just acted confident and I was fine. After that I started riding mine and was jumping within a week.

HOWEVER I started riding the buy n sell horses for my boss and one of them was a bit fresh and bucked/spooked/span and I totally freaked out. I ended up getting off him and lunging him. But I made the mistake of talking about how I felt and telling people how afraid I had been and after that it was like I gave my fears a voice and my nerve was totally shot on strange horses. The more I tried talking about it, the worse I would feel and I ended up getting off another horse because it 'felt tense' which was totally feeble of me. I was still fine on my own horse and happily jumping 1.10m etc and sitting her leaps and bucks and generally silliness so I know it was mostly in my head.

I'm currently reprogramming myself so I don't talk about being nervous AT ALL EVER now. I spend lots of time thinking about riding different horses and how it is FUN not scarey. Just trying to get back into the head space I was in prior to my accident instead of focusing on my nervousness and letting it gain strenth. Basically I visualise in my head that I'm riding sharp/spooky horses and how they will behave and how I will feel. And I make sure that how I feel in the visualisation is positive i.e. amused rather than afraid. Sounds dumb I guess but I think that sub consious mind is pretty strong but my consious mind is stronger and I absolutely refuse to let my nerve be wrecked by one stupid 4yr old cob. LOL


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## tanflislibs (24 January 2007)

got bolted and swerved when viewing a horse, dumped me ontop of a wooden fence leg first. thought it was brocken. what did i go and do? i went and viewed another one half hour later, rode her in heavy farm machinery and with a toy helecopter going, walked and trotted. cantered and jumped her, then bought her!


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## tanflislibs (24 January 2007)

still thoughti'd brocken my leg at that point but did it anyway


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## vanessahook (24 January 2007)

I got thrown when i was 17. Someone asked me to assess a horse for them so off i toddled, no questions asked! It was huge, about 17.3hh Shire x. Got on it and you would have thought a bomb had gone off under it. It set off spinning, bucking you name it it was doing it. It felt like i was in the air for ages. It broke my elbow, ruptured my bicep and tore all the ligaments in my wrist. I went into shock, apparently i turned blue and coudn't speak. The stupid bloke that owned the horse refused to take me to hospital, he thought i was making it up so i sat for the next five hours in agony!! I didn't ride for about 3months but afterwards i got back on my trusty cob x arab once, told myself i would never again ride someones horse as a favour, and then broke in my three year old!!! Oh the advantage of being young and fearless!!


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## moodymare1987 (24 January 2007)

Ive had some really bad falls, i ended up in a and e one time, me and friend was on a path that ran through a field. decided to canter horses went flat out gallop whoopsie, but friends horse decided to do pirouette and come charging back at my horse, ended up with horses swerving to avoid each other, both of us on the deck, horses running wild. But i was knocked clean out i hit a fence on the way down to floor. My friend started crying trying to find horses and as i was knocked out she thought i was dead.

She was so scared for both of us, someone from the yard had to come and get horses while we went hospital. Turned out i had concussion, broke 4 of my ribs, broke my arm and covered in cuts and bruises. Didnt affect me at all though, i got on like nothing happend as i knew it was an accident,

My confidence isnt at its best at the min though, As horse ive got is not suitable for me and makes me now fear for my life when i ride him, so now i lunge him. He is going back though either this weekend or next weekend, I cant even explain how much he scares me now, And im not easily scared at all.


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## mrdarcy (24 January 2007)

I think it gets harder to get your confidence back as you get older.  Rather than focusing on the positive things in your riding - i.e. all the times you didn't fall off - you tend to fixate on the negative i.e. the much more infrequent times you did fall off.  I think its because the older you get the more bad things you've experienced in general life... whereas being younger you're a bit more naive and haven't suffered as many consequences.

It also human nature to focus on the bad things rather than the good things... its a survival thing.  If you remember the bad things you remember to avoid them and therefore you survive longer... learning to keep out of the way of sabre toothed tigers!

The answer is - easier said than done - to focus on all the good experiences you've had riding... all the times you've coped when things have gone a bit wrong... rather than the odd times you haven't coped so well and fallen off.  Like I said... easy to say less easy to do.


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## equibabe20 (25 January 2007)

When I was 11 and I had just got my pony I took him out for his first hack with me and he bolted all the way home thru the woods. Another time when we went out for a hack with 2 other girls, we had to pull into a gateway to allow two tractors pass and just as we were turning round to face them, the other girls horse spooked and scared mine, he galloped straight out in front of the tractor and several cars and proceeded to gallop straight up a country lane with me totally out of control. I only managed to stop him because I steered him in to signpost. I fell off but was unhurt just very shaken up when I realised the main road was only another turning away. To be honest I just got back on and carried on I was only 11 tho!
   In August last year I was at a competition when my pony tripped I fell off onto my shoulder and he came down on top of me. The result broken ankle and collar. Its now nearly 6 months on and still haven't been able to ride but Im not scared I'm just desperate to get back on. I was nervous after the accident but I realised it was just a freak accident. My parents and boyfriend don't want me to ride again tho!


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## filly190 (25 January 2007)

My first ex-race horse tried to kill me many times, no joke.  

I felt sick at the thought of riding her.

A lovely horse of my next door neighbours was for sale and she arranged for me to come and ride the mare.

I got there and two other riders were going out.  I got on and they took me on one of the most white knuckle rides I have ever been on (not knowing about my fears).

I survied, the horse looked after me and I bought her and have never looked back.


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## debs_07 (25 January 2007)

hi .. ive posted on here about my confidence before ...i had a lesson today and guess wot ?? i came off !!! hahaha !!!! right out the side door , trotting over trotting poles of all things !! she went one way sharply and i went the other way .. right on my tush .. still hurts ... i got straight back on, which is a real acheivment ... for me anyway ... 

i think confidence is something we had before we knew any better !! 

xx


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