# new puppy nerves



## horselover2 (26 April 2017)

Hi i am in the process of getting a puppy for the first time and feeling a bit daunted,have had dogs before from rescues etc but never from the very beginning.

Am i just worrying over nothing that it is going to be too much with a horse on diy and a full time job?i work where i live so puppy not going to be alone for hours,it is something i have always wanted and found a lovely little chap that is ready in 4 weeks which gives me plenty of time to get all the stuff i need etc

Is it normal to get cold feet?spent all night tossing and turning over whether i have done the right thing,put a deposit down but know the breeder is very keen that they go to  the right home and the others all went in 2 days, so know there would be no problem if i backed out her finding him another home.

I cant get excited about him as i just dont know what to do,any advice would be truly appreciated thank you.


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## MotherOfChickens (26 April 2017)

What sort of work do you do and do you have any time off when you first bring him home?


puppies are straight forward but they are alot of work and need supervision and company. he'll need to be taught how to be alone (he's used to being with mum and litter mates) and for house training you need to be around to preempt when he needs to go. so alot depends on what you do and if you have any help from partner/family etc early on.


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## horselover2 (26 April 2017)

Hi,thanks for replying....i run a pub with my other half,hence living above where i work,partner not really going to be that involved as its something i want as opposed to both of us,he is not that animally ( if thats a word ) he didnt like horses till he met mine,loves them now.
I was hoping to get a couple of extra days off but wouldnt be much more than that.i can pop up to him as often as i can to begin with,would have to physically take him out to garden though every time he wants toilet as essentially we live in a flat above the pub.


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## Amymay (26 April 2017)

I'd say you'd be better off with an adult dog, personally.   I know the hours running a pub takes so would say that you will probably find it hard with a puppy to look after as well (the puppy will find it hard too).

Sorry.


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## horselover2 (26 April 2017)

no thats fair comment,wanted peoples thoughts on this


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## 3Beasties (26 April 2017)

What breed is it? And will he be the only dog in the house?


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## Clodagh (26 April 2017)

Can he go into the pub with you when it is closed?
We have a lab pup, now 13 weeks, and she is very easy now but we put two weeks of solid running our life around her needs. Even now I work part time, my mum is next door and my OH can come in for lunch and coffee so she is rarely left for longer than an hour. Puppies make wonderful dogs if you can really put the ground work in..


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## MotherOfChickens (26 April 2017)

can't lie OP-doesn't sound ideal for either of you. Last year when I got my pup last year I took two weeks annual leave-thinking I would get lots of horse time in as well. I didn't! He then started work with me and I am very lucky that they were accommodating and work was quiet so I could get him out nearly hourly and he had lots of company from puppy cuddling/playing volunteers. This year is much busier at work so opted out of a second pup and got a 7month old instead. Later on OH had him at home two days a week working from home and found it hard to get stuff done when he was about but well, he's a bloke 

His routine was up at 5.30am, lots of sleep and play sessions throughout the day and he would finally crash out about 8pm-then out last thing at 11pm.

saying that, a pub would be great socialisation for a dog and it could be done if you were able to put the time in. If you had an older, established dog in place already it would make your life easier.I mostly did the young pup thing alone and its a bit of a slog (although I loved it). OH did helpfully say after 6 weeks that I looked a bit tired!


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## Clodagh (26 April 2017)

MOC - I am shattered! I haven't had a lie in beyond 7am since the day Pen came home, and has usually been earlier, I am desperate for a sleep in,. and the latest I ever do is 8.


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## Cinnamontoast (26 April 2017)

We try to time getting pups for the school holidays, they need a lot of time, they can't control their bladders when they're teeny, they need to go out as often as possible so you can toilet train. Last pup I had, we put him to bed at midnight, he needed to go at at 4, then back to bed for two hours. If you're up at the crack cleaning lines etc, will you have time? 

Have you chosen the puppy yet? As it's your first, definitely be guided by the breeder (if they're decent). I should think you want a calm dog if it will be allowed in the pub. 

I'll search up a link about getting your first pup: don't be amazed if you get the puppy blues.

http://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/thinking-of-getting-a-dog-puppy-the-realities.134055/


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## MotherOfChickens (26 April 2017)

Clodagh said:



			MOC - I am shattered! I haven't had a lie in beyond 7am since the day Pen came home, and has usually been earlier, I am desperate for a sleep in,. and the latest I ever do is 8.
		
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I watched lots of the Olympics lol! it was tiring-I am usually in bed by 10pm so found the late nights hard. helped it was summer, doing it in the dark would have been very grim.


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## Cinnamontoast (26 April 2017)

Toilet training in the dark months must be awful


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## horselover2 (26 April 2017)

Thanks everyone for thoughts/comments 

He would be the only dog in the house,he is a jack russell the one i have chosen,love their chirpy little characters,and didnt want a big dog for obvious reasons,my hours are split between lunch service and evening,pub not open all day so do my horse before i start work (10.30 )and in the afternoons plus get 2 days off a week..so thought i had puppy time around that and dont finish too late not that sort of pub ( out in the sticks) lots of people where i keep my horse have dogs so plenty of socialization,and he could come down and be in the pub once we have finished etc...


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## Clodagh (27 April 2017)

horselover2 said:



			Thanks everyone for thoughts/comments 

He would be the only dog in the house,he is a jack russell the one i have chosen,love their chirpy little characters,and didnt want a big dog for obvious reasons,my hours are split between lunch service and evening,pub not open all day so do my horse before i start work (10.30 )and in the afternoons plus get 2 days off a week..so thought i had puppy time around that and dont finish too late not that sort of pub ( out in the sticks) lots of people where i keep my horse have dogs so plenty of socialization,and he could come down and be in the pub once we have finished etc...
		
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I think it would be doable, hard work and you may well sigh in horror at times, if you get a really big crate for him and plenty of safe toys. Could you also have a crate downstairs possibly?

ETA I go on a gundog group on FB and someone on there wanted to get a pup that would be crated for 10 hours during the day, no break at lunchtime, and then again overnight. Some people said that was fine! Apparently the crate was easily big enough for it to stand up, turn round and stretch out, so no problem. Jacks can be difficult little dogs so I would certainly get him socialised as much as possible.


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## horselover2 (27 April 2017)

Thanks Clodagh,i was thinking along the lines of a fairly big crate,as much time out of it as possible,,can i ask why they can be difficult?


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## Chiffy (27 April 2017)

Hate to say it, but I think you will struggle.
I have had puppies at intervals all my life but you quickly forget what the first six months is like.
My daughter has a 13 week old miniature smooth dachshund who arrived when 10 weeks. Every day she says 'phew! It's a full time job! When actually it's quite a good wee pup. She has a crate inside a small pen in the kitchen. She sleeps from 11pm till 6am which is very good. In the day she can be left for an hour at a time but then needs out for a pee and some playtime.
My daughter spends a lot of time hanging around on the lawn saying 'hurry up, pee,pee' sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes not. 
The thing she was asking me yesterday was how do you get her to ask to go out. I told her , while she is picking her up and taking her out she will not get the message.
She needs to walk outside herself. It's so tempting with small ones to pick them up. So yesterday, as soon as she woke she was called outside.
You will have to carry yours outside every time for a long time. Be prepared for a huge commitment to house train and to give your pup company and playtime.


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## 3Beasties (27 April 2017)

It is hard work but I think it's doable.
I got my cocker pup during the last 3 weeks of the summer holidays which obviously helped with the settling in period.
Once I was back at school (working 8:30 till 3:30) she was left on her own with my other dog. I would pop home at lunchtime to let her out but it was literally only for 10 minutes. 
I found that once she was a bit bigger it was best to have a training session instead of a walk in the mornings as this seemed to tire her brain out and then she'd settle happily for the day. She's not 2 yet but now we walk in the mornings and after work, and then have odd training sessions through the week. I no longer go home at lunchtime and they seem fine with this.
Not everyone would agree with leaving their dogs for that long but for us it works and the dogs are happy with it.


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## Chiffy (27 April 2017)

But 3B you have two dogs, that makes a world of difference when leaving a pup.


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## 3Beasties (27 April 2017)

Chiffy said:



			But 3B you have two dogs, that makes a world of difference when leaving a pup.
		
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Oh yes, I know. I can't imagine it working so well if it was just the pup!


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## TGM (27 April 2017)

I agree with the others that you may have your work cut out getting a puppy!  The first few weeks are very full-on and they take up huge amounts of time and attention if you are to bring them up properly.  If you don't put the hours in at the beginning then you often end up with a dog who soils in the house or has separation anxiety.  You have to remember that a young pup will be used to being with his littermates and mother all the time, so when you take them away to a strange house they need the company of people and/or another dog all the time to feel safe.  Worth reading some of the files on the link below, particularly the 'Before You Get Your Puppy' e-book, to give you some idea of how much work is involved in bringing up a pup:

https://www.siriuspup.com/resources

Really to get a pup properly house-trained then you need to be able to take it outside every 30 minutes to 1 hour throughout the day in the first couple of weeks.  If you do that religiously pup is likely to be house-trained very quickly, both my pups were reliably house-trained with a fortnight.  If you are more slack in your routine then the pup gets in the habit of toileting in the house and it can take a long, long time to sort out.  Do you think you could fit that sort of routine in around your work?  I suppose it depends on how busy your pub is!

I'm also a bit concerned that your partner is not an animal-lover - you will be throwing him in the deep end with a puppy and he might not be very accepting of the inevitable puppy-biting and the mess and disruption that occurs. 

I do agree with the others that an older dog might be a better solution.


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## Moobli (27 April 2017)

I can't really add much to what others have said.  A puppy really is a lot more work than many people realise and there are times when most of us think "what the hell have I done" - but it passes.  If you could have the pup in a crate downstairs in the pub that might make things easier as you can take him outside to the toilet regularly and he will have company.


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## horselover2 (27 April 2017)

Thanks again everyone for all your thoughts and comments

I am taking it all on board and having a good hard think about whether i am doing the right thing,would hate to have a sad/miserable little chap on my hands because i dont have the time for him,have looked into rescues but always a problem where i live as although im in the countryside and go to the farm where my horse is a lot..i dont technically have a garden!and i work.

Every time i look at a picture of him i melt but i am realistic that this is far from ideal,my partner has agreed because he knows how much i have always wanted a dog,he just has a lot more to do with the day to day running of pub than i do,so less time than me.

I think in my heart of hearts i know what i have to do,hope the breeder understands.


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## Clodagh (27 April 2017)

Jacks can be dog agressive, they are difficult to toilet train, the hunt, dig holes and go to ground. Terriers, who'd have 'em. 
In your situation, I would look for a young dog with some life skills. You always see on FB half grown pups not wanted any more, let someone else do the hardest bit.


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## MotherOfChickens (27 April 2017)

horselover2 said:



			Thanks again everyone for all your thoughts and comments

I am taking it all on board and having a good hard think about whether i am doing the right thing,would hate to have a sad/miserable little chap on my hands because i dont have the time for him,have looked into rescues but always a problem where i live as although im in the countryside and go to the farm where my horse is a lot..i dont technically have a garden!and i work.

Every time i look at a picture of him i melt but i am realistic that this is far from ideal,my partner has agreed because he knows how much i have always wanted a dog,he just has a lot more to do with the day to day running of pub than i do,so less time than me.

I think in my heart of hearts i know what i have to do,hope the breeder understands.
		
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Its really great that you've responded so well to the advice-not everyone does! There are other avenues of getting older dogs (legitimate ones!) that dont rely on rescue-maybe even ask this breeder if she knows of any older dogs looking for new homes? Get an older dog for a couple of years and plan ahead for the pup you can get in the future


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## ponyparty (27 April 2017)

OK, I'm going to buck the trend and say - yes it is hard work, but it's doable, from the hours you say you keep! I am yet to meet a dog owner who has had puppies and not thought, at some point, "what have i DONE?" - I was at the end of my tether with Frank at times, but love him fiercely and my perseverance has paid off. He is now a well rounded and well behaved little dog. 
Are dogs allowed at the yard you keep your horse at? This would make it easier if so - and great to get him used to other dogs, horses, people etc. 
If you can allow him downstairs in the pub, this would be great socialisation for him! Yes there will be accidents, pee or poop, if you don't let him out often enough... Dogs will be dogs! I do think that if you want it badly enough, you can make it work. 
Yes Jack Russells are terriers and as such can be difficult, but if you've had dogs before there's no reason to say you wouldn't cope. If you're concerned about terrier instincts, maybe go for a companion breed rather than a terrier.
The only thing that bothers me about your situation is the OH thing - but then my ex wasn't keen on the idea of a dog (not "animally" at all). I won that one, and we got Frank - ex absolutely fell for him (even though he was a difficult adolescent - the dog, not the ex, lol) and when we spilt up, he was devastated to lose him. I think your lifestyle sounds much nicer for a dog than a lot of people, who leave their dog shut in a kitchen or crate all day while they're out at work. 
Whatever you choose to do, all the best with it.


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## Chiffy (27 April 2017)

I think your reply ponyparty is biased towards making the OP happy than the puppy.

Do people take on a pup with no safe garden to take it out into? Does it have to be on the lead every time it needs the toilet? Very difficult.


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## SusieT (27 April 2017)

It all depend son you - if you are willing to put the work in and can nip up every hour/twohours and prepared that your 'quiet lunch'will actually be half an hour or more of oslid puppy play/dealing with annoying puppy behaviours there is no reason why it wont work. If you can't nip up until 5/6 hours or will want to put your feet up and rest then yes its more of a probelm - firs t4-6 weeks are the worst then they learn good behaviours!


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## TGM (27 April 2017)

Chiffy said:



			Do people take on a pup with no safe garden to take it out into? Does it have to be on the lead every time it needs the toilet? Very difficult.
		
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I must say I would find it much more hard work with my current pup if I didn't have a safe enclosed garden to let her out in.  Not just from a toileting point of view but from an exercise/stimulation point of view.  The trouble is that pups are not meant to do too much walking as it can damage their growing joints, but young pups do get bored very easily and then get themselves into trouble!  Now the weather is better I can leave the back door open and pup can go in and out as she likes and can entertain herself for ages watching the birds and insects and just mooching around exploring the garden!


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## ponyparty (27 April 2017)

Yep it will be hard without a secure yard, not impossible though. How will it be any easier without a yard, with an adult dog? They still have to go out and pee... I say this as someone who has a dog flap into the garden so never have to worry about letting out etc. 

I'm not "making OP happy", though my response is certainly more optimistic than some others. 

It is what you make of it OP, if you're determined for it to work then you'll find a way. If you're having serious doubts and finding obstacles for yourself, maybe you shouldn't. It depends on you.

Dogs are highly adaptable creatures and if all the pup knows is going out to pee on lead (and plentiful walks), and OP doesn't mind this inconvenience, I don't really see the problem.


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## MotherOfChickens (27 April 2017)

Chiffy said:



			Do people take on a pup with no safe garden to take it out into? Does it have to be on the lead every time it needs the toilet? Very difficult.
		
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Quarrie went out on a lead initially to pee because the layout of my house and garden is weird and the front door leads onto a patio and then the fenced but very large garden and driveway. It is the fastest way to get outside otherwise you have to go through another room and two more doors. It didnt cause any problems, he still knew to ask to go out and was housetrained very quickly. Actually the setter also had initial toilet training when living in a flat and was so on a lead-he never had an accident in the flat. 

All things are possible but for me, OP hasnt quite expected how much time the pup will take up initially-if they could take some time off it would be much easier and better for the pup imho.


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## MurphysMinder (27 April 2017)

Looking at it from a slightly different angle,  when I was breeding I would never let a pup go to a home where all family members weren't equally keen and committed to having a puppy.  Pups can be very hard work and I am with others who think you would be far better to get a slightly older dog .


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## TGM (27 April 2017)

ponyparty said:



			Yep it will be hard without a secure yard, not impossible though. How will it be any easier without a yard, with an adult dog?
		
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With an adult dog, you can take them out for more frequent and longer walks if needed, whereas it is usually advised that a puppy doesn't do more than a certain amount of walking a day, depending on age.

The trouble is, it is not just down to the OP being determined, it is partly down to the OP's partner as well as they live together.  If the pup causes problems such as howling when they are busy working in the pub, or soiling in their living area etc., then would he insist on the pup being rehomed?


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## ponyparty (27 April 2017)

TGM said:



			The trouble is, it is not just down to the OP being determined, it is partly down to the OP's partner as well as they live together.  If the pup causes problems such as howling when they are busy working in the pub, or soiling in their living area etc., then would he insist on the pup being rehomed?
		
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This sort of issue could equally apply to an adult rescue/rehomed dog too; all too often they have separation anxiety issues that need to be fixed by their new owner. But yeah, of course it is also down to her OH. OP knows best how her OH will react to this sort of thing though.


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## TGM (27 April 2017)

ponyparty said:



			This sort of issue could equally apply to an adult rescue/rehomed dog too; all too often they have separation anxiety issues that need to be fixed by their new owner. But yeah, of course it is also down to her OH. OP knows best how her OH will react to this sort of thing though.
		
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I quite agree that whatever dog the OP gets she needs to be very careful that it suits her circumstances.  If getting a rescue, I would advise going through a rescue that puts their dogs in foster homes so they can be probably assessed for suitability.  However, it is a given that ANY pup demands a lot of time and attention in the first few weeks, whereas you can find adult dogs that don't need so much. 

I might sound rather negative but I have seen so many dogs and puppies (particularly puppies) being given up because people have under-estimated the demands they put on your time, or because a partner won't tolerate the destructiveness, noise and mess that can result from a pup or dog that is not given the time and attention they need.  I've had dogs for years, but still under-estimated how much attention a new puppy would need!  We can try and tell the OP exactly what to expect when you have a pup, but only she can make the decision based on what time she knows she will have available.  But she sounds like she is being very sensible and taking on board all the comments and not letting her heart rule her head.


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## horselover2 (27 April 2017)

Hi little update.been talking to my partner a lot today about all this and we dont see being in the pub trade a long term thing as no work/life balance, so going to wait till we are in a better position to do the puppy/dog thing..little bit worried about the breeders reaction but think she will want whats best for the puppy as i do..i havent got the heart to take him and then everything i am worried about happen and i can avoid all that by putting my hands up and saying okay..i am not in an ideal situation to do this now.

I do appreciate every ones input,its what i wanted. a completely unbiased opinion,thank you.


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## Chiffy (27 April 2017)

Well done OP, not for deciding not to go ahead, but for making an informed decision of your own based on the replies to the question you asked.
Hope you eventually get your dream dog and we are all still here on the forum to ooh and ah over pictures. Good luck.


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## horselover2 (27 April 2017)

Thank you Chiffy


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## Moobli (27 April 2017)

If the breeder is a good one whose main concern is the long-term happiness and well-being of her pups, then she should admire your honesty and be content you have taken this dog owning lark very seriously.

Sounds like a good plan for your future too.


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## TGM (27 April 2017)

You sound like a very sensible person OP, and I am sure when you do get a dog or puppy you will be a fantastic owner!  As WorkingGSD has said, if the breeder is a genuine one then firstly they should understand your decision and secondly they should easily be able to find another good home for the pup.


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## MotherOfChickens (27 April 2017)

I think you've been wise at listening to your gut and asking for advice. you will be a great pup owner at some point  I now it must be disappointing too-hope all goes well with the breeder.


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## Pearlsasinger (27 April 2017)

Clodagh said:



			Jacks can be dog agressive, they are difficult to toilet train, the hunt, dig holes and go to ground. Terriers, who'd have 'em. 
In your situation, I would look for a young dog with some life skills. You always see on FB half grown pups not wanted any more, let someone else do the hardest bit.
		
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The trouble is, with those advertised dogs, that someone else got fed up of the dog because they couldn't be bothered to do the hard part!
I agree that JRTs are difficult to house train.

OP, if you could have a crate for the pup, near the door of your pub and take him out from there, rather than leave him upstairs, I think you could make it work. I would get 2 pups tbh, so that they can play together but of course, that will mean 2 to house train .


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## SusieT (27 April 2017)

Have to say for all those recommending 'easier' older dogs- I actually find that puppies are much easier as they have no bad habits.. young adult or older dogs have normally been allowed to get away with murder so need firmer, more experienced handling.
I'd far rather have a 'temporarily annoying' puppy!


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## SusieT (27 April 2017)

And definitely don't get two pups! Two means more than double the work training them separately so they don't just bond with each other and never bond with the humans properly!


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## Clodagh (27 April 2017)

Pearlsasinger said:



			The trouble is, with those advertised dogs, that someone else got fed up of the dog because they couldn't be bothered to do the hard part!
I agree that JRTs are difficult to house train.

OP, if you could have a crate for the pup, near the door of your pub and take him out from there, rather than leave him upstairs, I think you could make it work. I would get 2 pups tbh, so that they can play together but of course, that will mean 2 to house train .
		
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On the plus side of that, you get on the gundog forums dogs that trainers have run on and are selling the not so good one, still a fantastic pet but maybe not top field trial material.


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## ponyparty (28 April 2017)

Fair play OP, sounds like a sensible decision. Think only you know, deep down, whether it can work with your lifestyle. You'll get one, one day, when you're in a better position!


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## Moobli (28 April 2017)

SusieT said:



			And definitely don't get two pups! Two means more than double the work training them separately so they don't just bond with each other and never bond with the humans properly!
		
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Agree 100% with this ^^^


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## Pearlsasinger (28 April 2017)

SusieT said:



			And definitely don't get two pups! Two means more than double the work training them separately so they don't just bond with each other and never bond with the humans properly!
		
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I have had many pairs of pups and have never had any problems with them not "bonding" (whatever that means) with the humans. For a while we had 3 pairs (including 2x JRTs) and a single rescue dog, with no issues whatsoever. We have brought addional singles into established groups and brought pairs of pups into established groups, I have never understood the thinking g about not having 2 pups together.
It was noticeable when we got 2_Rottweiler pups after a break that they didn't speak English and we had to teach them, which in the past the established dogs had done. However, they soon picked it up and are 2 of the cleverest dogs we have ever had.


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## druid (28 April 2017)

Clodagh said:



			On the plus side of that, you get on the gundog forums dogs that trainers have run on and are selling the not so good one, still a fantastic pet but maybe not top field trial material.
		
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My first FTCh was a top triallers cast off at 6 months. It's a great way for an amateur to get a well bred dog at a more reasonable cost


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## Clodagh (28 April 2017)

druid said:



			My first FTCh was a top triallers cast off at 6 months. It's a great way for an amateur to get a well bred dog at a more reasonable cost
		
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Having said what I did, and i agree with you, trialling dogs might be a bit much in a pet home?


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## druid (28 April 2017)

Clodagh said:



			Having said what I did, and i agree with you, trialling dogs might be a bit much in a pet home?
		
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It depends on the home and if they have a job for it! If someone is looking for an agility/flyball dog or similar trialling dogs can be a great choice


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## Clodagh (28 April 2017)

Fair point. My bitches sister does fly all and is great, a non collie and in the open team.


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