# Struggling to re home my cats



## beutifulwobble (5 July 2013)

Since my baby arrived my cats have had their noses put well & truly out of joint!!! I have tried local adverts to find them a new hoe but o luck. I really don't want to take them to a rescue centre as they were rescues originally. 
I am wracked with guilt but they are terrible around the baby.
I am in north Bedfordshire xxxx


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## s4sugar (5 July 2013)

How come?  Many people have cats & babies so what is the problem? 

I could ask why not rehome the baby?  Sounds flippant but what have you done to make the cats at home with the new addition?


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## webble (5 July 2013)

They may get used to the baby. If they were from a centre there may have been a clause in the contract that any problems they have to go back to the centre


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## Rose Folly (5 July 2013)

You need to persevere! And you owe it to the cats! You can't just take animals on and dump them when the going gets a bit tough.

Get advice. Your vet! The Cats Protection League or whatever it is now called! More knowledgeable friends!

Sorry to sound harsh but I see this all the time.


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## beutifulwobble (5 July 2013)

Gee thanks that makes me feel great. I did want constructive advice. I have spoken to vets and behaviour people. We have tried feliway and positive reinforcement. They ump on the sides in the kitchen, jump on me whilst I am feeding her, spray all round her things and have started clawing the furniture.

They never did this before I had her and for those lovely kind souls who are making flippant comments - we both nearly died so thank you!

I have persevered for 16 weeks so its not a light choice. 

Any helpful constructive ideas would be lovely xxx


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## Hairy Old Cob (5 July 2013)

Work at it you had the Cats before the Sprog


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## CLM (5 July 2013)

I'm really sorry to hear you are having problems with your cats, a new baby can really unsettle them.   It must be a real worry.  Have you tried giving the cats space away from the baby, so that they feel they can get away if they need to?    If they are worse when you are feeding, then can you put them outside when you feed?   As for jumping on the work tops, every cat I've ever had has had to be taught not to do that, and my boy will still have a sneaky jump up if he thinks I'm not looking.  Ditto scratching furniture, pretty normal cat behaviour.  The most worrying issue is the spraying, this is concerning, I couldn't live with that, and I suspect not many people would be prepared to take on a cat that sprays. The problem is the rehoming centres are absolutely full of cats and kittens needing homes without any problems at all.  If the spraying continues maybe you could try a farm or stable yard type of home for them?    
Failing that, you may have to very sadly PTS.  You just can't have cats that spray inside.

I assume they have been neutered?


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## jenniaddams (5 July 2013)

Nobody has made a flippant comment. It's just something far too common...sprog comes along, so other responsibilities get punted. Regardless of how easy or hard your pregnancy or labour were, you owe the animals that you took responsibility for.

Give them space to themselves...no baby at all. Give you/baby space...no cats. 
Are they neutered?
Scratching/furniture climbing etc...standard cat behaviour. Needs worked on through reinforcement. Spraying can be related to stress so I would say that working on creating a home for both the cats and the baby with own spaces may improve the spraying issue. 

Ultimately, if no home is forthcoming, you could try CPL etc. They would take them on.


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## Archangel (5 July 2013)

This might be a bonkers idea but could you put them in a cattery for a couple of weeks to give you time to restore order, clean up the wee and take stock properly.  It might break them of their behaviour (she says hopefully).


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## Elsbells (5 July 2013)

RebelRebel said:



			This might be a bonkers idea but could you put them in a cattery for a couple of weeks to give you time to restore order, clean up the wee and take stock properly.  It might break them of their behaviour (she says hopefully).
		
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Good advice RR.


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## beutifulwobble (6 July 2013)

Hi all,

They are neutered female tortoise shells. They have had feliway, anti stress tablets, time away from me/ baby etc. as I said I have been trying for 4 mths so it's not like I am giving up after 2wks.

I am desperate to keep them and not have to remove them but I can't think of anything else to try.


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## suestowford (6 July 2013)

How old are the cats? Sometimes they get very set in their ways as they get older.


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## joelb (6 July 2013)

OP, have to agree with some of the views on re-homing, its a huge frustration to me that animals of any species as passed on so readily but also agree that the spraying is completely unacceptable from a hygiene perspective.  Do you have a garage or shed you could turn into living accommodation for them so they are still yours but with no indoor access; its an ideal time of year to transition.  Shame youre not my way as were looking for a couple of yard cats to combat a huge rodent problem and unbelievably there are no semi-ferals available in Shropshire!!


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## beutifulwobble (6 July 2013)

They are 11 yrs old. They are currently living in the shed, which is done up like a palace but I am worried about them living out in the winter.

I am gutted and frustrated that I even have to consider it ( I think people think I am doing this frivolously) I had no idea when I got them at 22 ( ten yrs ago) that I would have a baby and also how bad they would be! Talking to other tortie owners they are the worst when it comes to things like this xxx


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## s4sugar (6 July 2013)

So buy a heated bed or a heat lamp.


When did the problems start? While you were pregnant or after you brought baby haome?


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## Dogrose (6 July 2013)

They are probably a bit old to change over to being farm cats, it seems a bit mean when they are used to being house cats having to live rough at their age.
I don't know the answer, I went out and got a kitten as soon as I found out I was pregnant so my kids could grow up with a pet (she was a tortie). I did have an awfully behaved Havana when they were a little older that would wee in ridiculous places (he would get into bed with you, lie down and wee) but he had spinal problems so that might have been a factor, and another cat that would wee in the toy box, I just put up with it, washed things a lot, and no one got ill from it. I wouldn't have dreamed of rehoming the cats.


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## beutifulwobble (6 July 2013)

Dog rose, I had hoped for the same thing. I grew up with pets too. I think I will just see how it goes. I am saddened by people's unsupportive and accusatory tones though xx


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## beutifulwobble (6 July 2013)

Also the probs started towards the end of my pregnancy and got worse when we came home xx


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## Supertrooper (6 July 2013)

You say you've tried behaviourist but have you had someone come out to you? 

Can I recommend a lady called Vicky Halls. She is very very good and it sounds like you are desperate. It won't be cheap or a quick fix BUT it's an option


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## Antw23uk (8 July 2013)

Sadly your chances of rehoming them are slim. You will struggle to find a rescue center to take them because they are full to bursting!

Have you tried local cat charities that dont have a central hub but have fosterers which potential new owners go to see them in a home enviroment?

This might be a bad thing to say but it seems all too common in the horsey world but have you thought about having them pts?


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## Amymay (9 July 2013)

Speaking as someone who tried to re-home her cats - impossible.

Can't see why a baby has had such an impact on them tbh.


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## Loulou2002 (9 July 2013)

I moved out of my property 3 years ago and my two cats couldn't come with me to the new place so i have them living at the yard.....which is ours. The oldest cat would have been 14 at the time (17 this year!)  and she is fine there. They both love being outside in the summer and in the winter they sleep in the tackroom. I don't have heat lamps or anything like that. Just to reassure you if you are worried about them being outside.


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## Zero00000 (9 July 2013)

My cats turned into absolute horrors when my son was born, 
I had recently become a widowed women, new baby, living miles away from my family, with these 2 cats that where *h*ting everywhere, on my bed, in the cot, jumping out the windows, clawing, jumping up on the sides, but guess what... nearly 5 years on, I still have them, I took them on, and they are as much my responsibility as my children are, I wont lie, I did think about rehoming them, but, they came from a rescue center, and I didnt want them going back! 
I persevered with them, house move seemed to help lots, but before that, I was giving them treats and fussing them when the baby was asleep, let them know they are still wanted, they soon turned back into the cats I knew they were, my son came into their home, and things changed, to think they will adapt quickly, which 4 months out of their lives is a short amount of time,

Its not stress, it change of routine and rank in the 'pecking order' dont give up on them!


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## YasandCrystal (9 July 2013)

I know you said you tried Feliway diffusers, but have you tried Zylkene? That is a natural product and reportedly very good for destressing dogs, cats ,horses.  Maybe a stint on that would help.


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## Gleeful Imp (9 July 2013)

I think people are being exceptionally harsh on the OP, she is reaching the end of her tether and has asked for help. She hasn't blithely swanned around and dumped her cats. She is facing a real problem, living with endless cat spraying is vile no matter how much you love them. Mine did it all over my new fellas clothes, shoes, where he slept in the bed ..... Eventually all accepted each other but was vile. 

My cousin went through he'll with 2 torties who took to endless spraying - no baby involved - and it was he'll. the vets couldn't help, she tried everything, she ended up pts after 2 years of non stop spraying because of the mental health impact.

If you can make your garage a palace, pop in heated lamps etc they will be fine. I'm afraid the chances of rehoming are slim, so it's either try the cattery option and the palace or say goodbye.  

If they were mine, I'd go palace option, but I have moved heaven and earth to keep my kits with me. And this seems better than the other option to me.

Good luck whatever you do.


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## ILuvCowparsely (9 July 2013)

This happens a lot baby comes along animals pushed out for what ever reason.  It always saddens me as the animals get traumatised after sudden changes.


Charities will only take them if they have space or if a foster cares to make extra  temp space.


 1. what are the cats actually doing that makes you feel they are a threat
noses out danger etc???

 2. can you not find one room for the cats to say in then when baby goes to sleep let them out. 

 baby screaming is or can be scary to cats that have never experienced the sound / smell before.


 When baby is a sleep make a fuss of them make them feel wanted 
 something like this

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Canvas-In...UK_Pet_Supplies_Cats&var=&hash=item3a6677718c.

 when you are feeding the baby etc is there not a room you can go into where they can't see you or be with you???

 Some cats are attention seekers and they see you as their owner and baby  a competitor for your affection.

|This could be no different than having 2 kids where they both want your attention and do what they know and can do to get it.
  You need to make sure they feel loved  wanted.


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## Clodagh (9 July 2013)

I suspect that those of you who are abusing the OP are perhaps not parents? Children are more important than animals. Cats are dangerous and dirty and if they are scratching and peeing around the baby or her stuff that is unacceptable.
A shed will be fine, especially if they have a warm bed. It is better than the alternative! 
This post is not aimed at the people who have been constructive - but to suggest the cats have more rights as they were there first, perhaps get rid of the baby first...OMG.


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## ILuvCowparsely (9 July 2013)

what you  should have done prior to birth, is make the nursery out of bounds to the cats.  This way they learn this room is a no go area also reducing the petting before the birth would also make it more the normal not to have so much attention.

 That said what you can do now  is still keep nursery door shut when baby is sleeping.
 set aside part of each day to make a fuss of the cats.  Allow  for the fact you will be busier now and become more irritable.
 Remember cats can sense when you are stressed.

 Remember both needs some of your time and affection


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## ILuvCowparsely (9 July 2013)

Clodagh said:



			I suspect that those of you who are abusing the OP are perhaps not parents? Children are more important than animals. Cats are dangerous and dirty and if they are scratching and peeing around the baby or her stuff that is unacceptable.
A shed will be fine, especially if they have a warm bed. It is better than the alternative! 
This post is not aimed at the people who have been constructive - but to suggest the cats have more rights as they were there first, perhaps get rid of the baby first...OMG.
		
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When you have an animal most of the life then choose to add a baby into the mix you should plan ahead as I posted above.  Keep cats out of the nursery, why should the cats be imprisoned in a shed when they had the use of the house???  There is time for both to have access to the house.

 I am not a parent never want them (thats another story) Too many pets get pushed out when baby comes like they are disposable.  I see / hear this all too often and the poor animal gets pts or put in a pen


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## joelb (9 July 2013)

Leviathan said:



			why should the cats be imprisoned in a shed
		
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Dont think anyone was suggesting imprisoning them  its a perfectly reasonable compromise if OP wants to keep them and if theyre so distressed then maybe theyd actually be happier.  Cats get to stay in the environment they know and it beats shoving them from pillar to post or dumping them back into rescue.


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## ILuvCowparsely (10 July 2013)

joelb said:



			Don&#8217;t think anyone was suggesting imprisoning them &#8211; it&#8217;s a perfectly reasonable compromise if OP wants to keep them and if they&#8217;re so distressed then maybe they&#8217;d actually be happier.  Cats get to stay in the environment they know and it beats shoving them from pillar to post or dumping them back into rescue.
		
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Well depending on a shed size, its not really their environment is it?  they probably have never been in it.   I think keeping nursery door shut and feeding baby when cats not around etc as I posted above is what is recommended as a way round this difficult situation for the OP.  Unless she puts a cat flap into he shed door so they can go in and out as they wish.

So many are dumped or people threatening to PTS unless charities take them on, its hard for the charities to select those who really will PTS and those who are really in a bad situation and need the cat to go into the pens.


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## Amymay (10 July 2013)

Clodagh said:



			I suspect that those of you who are abusing the OP are perhaps not parents?
		
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Abuse?  Where?

And no, I'm not a parent.  But I've been the child of parents who've had cats all their lives.  When my siblings and I came along there was simply no problem.


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## suestowford (10 July 2013)

amymay said:



			Can't see why a baby has had such an impact on them tbh.
		
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I can. My cat is very anxious, and always has been. Any changes to her house send her into a terrible digestive turmoil and eruptions happen. Last year we had builders in for three days and she got so stressed she became seriously ill. She nearly died. I too have tried Feliway and Zylkene but have had no success with either.
If I had a baby she would most likely react in the same way, it's just the way she is. I do sympathise with you OP, it must be a very difficult situation.


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## tessybear (10 July 2013)

No chance of giving them to a centre, they are the type who would be overlooked at a rescue too. Mainly young brightly coloured ( gingers, whites, unsual markings) go quickly, there are a lot of torties about. 

Stick at it, its a big change it may take up to a year. Otherwise work around the baby and cats, so perhaps build a run onto the shed ? In the day cats are outside with access to the shed should they wish. 

And at night when baby is in bed allow them into the house perhaps an area such as a kitchen ? It can be done. 


P.s i don't see any 'abuse' anywhere on here towards OP.


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## FinnishLapphund (10 July 2013)

Maybe if you, Beutifulwobble, had been clearer in your first post about what you had tried, and for how long, the first three replies would have sounded differently? Instead your first post just said vaguely that 




			Since my baby arrived my cats have had their noses put well & truly out of joint!!! I have tried local adverts to find them a new hoe but o luck. I really don't want to take them to a rescue centre as they were rescues originally.
I am wracked with guilt but they are terrible around the baby.
I am in north Bedfordshire xxxx
		
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How were they supposed to know, what being terrible around the baby means according to you, or that you had "spoken to vets and behaviour people", tried Feliway etc.? Plus, some people doesn't read the whole thread before replying, so not everyone might have noticed the added info from you. Or perhaps everyone's replies would have sounded the same regardless, who knows? 
	
	
		
		
	


	





Since you say that some of it began a while before you gave birth, it sounds to me as if it isn't so much the baby, without something to do with you and the cats, that have lead to this change in their behaviour. So I agree with the advice about not only speaking to a behaviourist, without also meeting one, you might be doing things that you doesn't notice yourself, but the cats do, and reacts on it, which a behaviourist might notice. When spraying or peeing etc., is part of a cat's changed behaviour, it is usually either a sign of a physical problem or their way to object about something that has happened/is happening/changed in their situation, and not something they do without reasons. 

Besides, if it is so that they need a home without children, then children are everywhere, you didn't have a child when you got them, x years later you have a baby, if you rehome them to someone that doesn't have children now, maybe they will have in the future, and the cats are back on square one, rehome with an older couple/person, and they might have grandchildren... And as already been said, with so many cats needing a home, there isn't many persons that is willing/able to rehome cats with behavioural problems which includes randomly spraying indoors.


P.S. 




			They never did this before I had her and for those lovely kind souls who are making flippant comments - we both nearly died so thank you!
		
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 I presume that the last comment refers to that you and your baby nearly died while you gave birth? If so, I'm glad that you're both okay, and here with us, but I don't understand what it has to do with you wanting to rehome your cats?


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## Fransurrey (11 July 2013)

It's true that tortie kitties can be more sensitive, but don't give up. Fit a catflap to the shed and put nice fluffy beds in there. Buy some catnip or sow some in the garden. Much better than zylkene! When baby is sleeping, visit the kitties in the shed, make a little snuggle area if you have room! My cat was stressed due to builders and I sat in the shed on a cushion leaning against his bed. Fell asleep a few times! I can't see where you are as I'm on the phone, but if you're in Surrey I can give you lots of catnip, as I grow it and deal, he he! 

The shed isn't a permanent move. Once they have their own place they may relax naturally. Alternative is to go back to a cat room and treat it like an introduction to a new cat. Own room for a while, then add a baby thing to the room, presented with a treat, before removing, then placing food on a dirty bib, that sort of thing. Please don't give up now. Cats and babies do work, but sometimes they need some help, although I can understand that as a new mum you're up against it. Short term, if the spraying is in certain places, put a piece of cardboard there with puppy training pads to catch any run off. Absorbs well and is all disposable. I used this when my old cat was upset due to an intruder cat using my garden. Good luck. X


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## MagicMelon (13 July 2013)

jenniaddams said:



			Nobody has made a flippant comment. It's just something far too common...sprog comes along, so other responsibilities get punted. Regardless of how easy or hard your pregnancy or labour were, you owe the animals that you took responsibility for.

Ultimately, if no home is forthcoming, you could try CPL etc. They would take them on.
		
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Too true.  What have you actually tried OP?  Have you tried giving the cats lots of nice attention whenever the baby is near? If they jump on you when you're changing her or spray in her room then simply close the door and keep them out of her room and where you change her?!  Our cats live down one end of our house - basically our bedroom (which leads directly into our 1 yr old sons bedroom) is out of bounds for the cats. Not for any reason other than them being Bengals and therefore they like to get into stuff (pull out his nappies from his box etc.). My cats where a bit wary of my son when he first arrived but I just gave them plenty of space and lots of attention when he was sleeping, they may well simply be craving your attention as its probably all gone (and on your baby instead) so who can blame them.  If you really can't be bothered to try and sort the problem, then you have no choice but to give them to the CPL.  They already have far too many cats, but if it means them not being PTS then you owe it to them.

With regards to your comment about almost dying when having your baby, I also dont see what this has to do with your cats?! My birth went very badly as well, but my cats (and dog) are still very much with me...


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## MagicMelon (13 July 2013)

Clodagh said:



			I suspect that those of you who are abusing the OP are perhaps not parents? Children are more important than animals. Cats are dangerous and dirty and if they are scratching and peeing around the baby or her stuff that is unacceptable.
A shed will be fine, especially if they have a warm bed. It is better than the alternative! 
This post is not aimed at the people who have been constructive - but to suggest the cats have more rights as they were there first, perhaps get rid of the baby first...OMG.
		
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Rubbish.  Cats are not "dangerous and dirty" - have you even HAD cats before?!  If so, you must have been doing something seriously wrong with them!  It selfish to say "children and more important than animals", at the end of the day the owner has CHOSEN these animals and taken on the responsibility of giving them a nice life, yet a baby comes along and suddenly these poor cats are ignored and terrified by a screaming infant, and now the owner is considering killing them?!  Seriously, you find that acceptable?!  Good grief, I'm sad to think you own animals of any kind   BTW, I am a parent, not that that makes ANY difference.


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## Rose Folly (14 July 2013)

I fear I was one of the 3 or so first responders who 'abused' the poster.

Perhaps if OP had been a bit more specific it would have helped. I still feel the case could be solved, and that, as Leviathan said, some preliminary work before the baby's birth would have been constructive.

Anyway it is too late for that now. But some good advice of various sorts has been offered which I suggest should be considered.

I can't speak for others who were straight talking in their answers, but would like to assure Clodagh and others that I am indeed a parent, nearly died from an ectopsy with major complications and then was extremely ill before and after the birth of my child. However, and advised by, among others, my excellent doctor who was interested in animal/infant interaction, I did my homework and our 3 dogs and 1 cat behaved admirably, apart from stealing cuddly toys.

Nobody is putting children down - but in most places companion animals are part of the family, and as such need to be assured they still have a place in that family.


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