# More cat advice needed!



## poiuytrewq (21 July 2018)

Quick background, although have talked about them on here previously so sorry if I'm repeating it all! 
3 years ago we moved to a farm. In front of the house is a big field and at the bottom a pheasant release pen. Became apparent we had a resident cat living in the pen who kept having kittens (who always dissapeared) Started feeding the poor thing, trapped her and a kitten and had her spayed. Kitten, a boy was too young and we had to keep him longer so we tried to bring him into the house (thinking we could tame him!) and release her again but carry on feeding her. She kept coming back for her baby so we let her in and they have lived here ever since. Neither are friendly as such but they come for food, take treats and she will be stroked, they sit in the living room in the evening with us and the dogs. Weirdly they both refused to go outside, I'd leave all doors and windows open but neither ever went out. Except for a handful of times where she'd go out and come back the following night for dinner and come back in. 
Just recently she left, We have seen her a few times around and she's ok. I leave food out but she hasn't taken it so far, she's not coming back this time that's obvious!
So we are left with just the very much more timid and nervous of the two.  Since she left he's become more withdrawn. He still comes for his food and will have a few treats, not out of my hand, he's really regressed there. He also isn't around in the evening anymore.  I think without her his confidence is really minimal. So he's spending much of his time hidden away under the bed. I am going to try one of those feliway diffusers in the bed room and see if that might help him. 

Sooo, my other thought was maybe another cat? Is that a stupid idea/non-starter?  I saw some kittens advertised locally just recently. 
Theory being that a friendlier/normal cat without a inbuilt fear of life and people might bring him out of his shell a little and show him we are ok and not out to get him! He might follow them out into the garden and learn thats not terrifying either. Or he might just have a bit of company under his bed and someone to play with..... or he could be scared and beat it to shreds.
wwyd?


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## WandaMare (21 July 2018)

The feliway diffusers are definitely worth a try, we use them in the cattery and they do make a difference. I think if he is hiding all the time then another cat will be too much for him, he will probably be too passive which might encourage the new one to become very dominant and reduce his confidence even further. I would set up a safe area for him, not sure if the dogs can get to where he is hiding now but somewhere he can feel 100% safe, then work on increasing his confidence. Getting him to play would be great if you can, is there anything he particularly likes to play with? Those fishing rod toys are good, lots of cats can't resist having a grab at those. 

Our experience of cats who hide is that once they start they get more  and more withdrawn so the quicker you can start encouraging him out from under the bed the better. Grooming, playing and giving them nice treats, with no interruptions from other animals seems to be the best way, I use tuna (the one in spring water) which is well appreciated. We find they improve very slowly to begin with  (2 or 3 days) but then all of a sudden seem to get it and take a huge step forward very quickly, so don't lose hope if he doesn't show much progress straight away.


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## poiuytrewq (21 July 2018)

Hi, Thanks for the reply. 
This hiding place and thing isnt new its just that he does it more now his mother has gone. She used to sleep on a blanket box in the same room.  Its completely safe and quiet, he's upstairs in the spare room and the dogs never go upstairs. He wont play with me at all, Ive literally tried for about 18 months and not a hope. He did play quite madly with his mum but has never even been tempted by any interaction with us other than to get food. I cant touch him at all. I used to be able to stroke him when they were eating side by side and i'd stroke the mother first and move on to him quietly but not a hope alone. 
He has a bed downstairs which he does occasionally use, but ive only seen him in it once recently (since she left)  the dogs don't bother him at all. He's less nervous of them than us.


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## poiuytrewq (21 July 2018)

Also, he was the more dominant out of the pair of them, I don't think in cat world he'd be that submissive?


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## WandaMare (21 July 2018)

What happens if you try to touch him, is he aggressive towards you or just petrified? If he was the more dominant one then he might be ok with another cat but I would be worried for you if things didn't go to plan. Introducing calm cats to one another can be tricky and take up a lot of time and supervision so with this one it could be quite a challenge.

Be interesting to see how well the Feliway works.


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## poiuytrewq (21 July 2018)

He runs away, if I approach him he just runs. Hes not nasty in anyway, if really cornered (as we had to to take him to the vets) he wont be aggressive but will freeze with fear and allow me to touch him. Obviously this has only ever been done once for the vet trip, not something Id ever do usually. 
The vets commented hes not a nasty cat but a very scared one. 
Ive ordered the diffuser. I also read about using rescue remedy so may try a drop on his food.


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## rara007 (21 July 2018)

I would expect a new cat to add to his stress to be honest!


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## poiuytrewq (22 July 2018)

Yep ok, I definitely dont want to do that. 
It was just an idea as he was happier with company. 
Hoping that the diffuser will arrive tomorrow


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## texas (23 July 2018)

I would suggest a new cat, but then I'd be a mad cat lady if I could   however, it would need to be the right personality rather than any old cat/kitten, which would be more tricky.  He may never be a cuddly cat but he'll adjust to the new normal in his own time with the tricks above I imagine.


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## lauracwd2 (23 July 2018)

It is possible to get a feral cat to become more people friendly but it takes a long time and is much easier if you start when they are tiny kittens. In the first instance if he is eating, drinking and I presume using a litter tray then try not to get too stressed about him. I'd definetly recommend a feliway plug in (or more than one depending on your house layout). Then what works for me is just being there quietly so I sit on the floor in the same room and read a book, for as long as possible and as often as possible, don't look at the cat, don't talk to him and if he comes out just ignore him. Try and enter and leave when he is calm so you don't give him a fright. If you can keep that up as regularly as you can eventually he will start to come out and investigate you, don't be tempted to try and touch him or give him attention too quickly. If he likes treats you can put some near you but don't force the issue.
With my feral kittens it took about 2 or 3 weeks before they were really able to be handled (I got them at 6/7 weeks old) but several years before they stopped running everytime someone moved. I only have one left now, he is 15 and if a stranger appears he disappears. He'll also run and hide even if someone he knows moves too quickly or loudly but apart from that he is very affectionate and happy.


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## poiuytrewq (23 July 2018)

Ive been doing all this pretty much for 18 months now! He was very much led by mum. I tried last night with some beef, his favourite food and when mum was around hed always appear for some if we were eating it!! 
He did eat some, not from my hand or too close but off the floor. 
He didnt eat his dinner last night or come for breakfast this morning though. First time ever for both.


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