# So I think I’ve found her...



## Newtothegeegees (13 January 2020)

Grey mare, all-rounder. 
I tried her out last week (and got completely nervous as felt as though I had just entered a competition arena when I had to ride her in front of both of the dealers) so my riding was shit but the horse was very forgiving and stable. 
Going to book the 5 stage vetting today. I’m so nervous and am now questioning my horse ability - imposter syndrome is creeping in - can I actually get a horse? Seriously? Me? Am I capable?
YES I AM. 
wow this process is equally terrifying and exciting.


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## Red-1 (13 January 2020)

Make sure it is a vet of your choosing, but congratulations and good luck!!!


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## Newtothegeegees (13 January 2020)

Thank you. The vet has been recommended to me by the yard - nothing to do with dealer.. this should be ok I’m hoping..


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## Auslander (13 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			Thank you. The vet has been recommended to me by the yard - nothing to do with dealer.. this should be ok I’m hoping..
		
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What do you mean? Recommended by the yard the horse is currently on?
It's best to use an independent vet, with no connection to the horses owners, the yard it is on, the dealer that's selling it, etc


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## Newtothegeegees (13 January 2020)

Sorry didn’t explain well.
The yard that I plan to keep the horse at (separate to where I’m buying from) the owner who is helping me with my purchase has recommended a tried and tested reliable vet that she uses. Absolutely nothing to do with dealer or where it’s currently kept.


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## Leo Walker (13 January 2020)

Fingers crossed for you!


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## Baywonder (13 January 2020)

Good luck with the vetting - I have got everything crossed for you!


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## SamBean (13 January 2020)

Good luck with the vetting, hope it goes well and look forward to seeing the all important photos.


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## Rumtytum (13 January 2020)

Photos are an absolute necessity if the vetting goes well. Good luck!


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## scats (13 January 2020)

Good luck! Can’t wait for photos if all goes well.


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## Bobbit (13 January 2020)

Super!! Hope the vetting goes well.


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## splashgirl45 (13 January 2020)

good luck,  hope all goes well and we get piccies soon


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## [59668] (14 January 2020)

Have you done or got someone to do everything you want to do with this horse?
Have you tacked her up, seen her loaded, jumped her, hacked her alone, in company, sprayed her with spray, seen her with the hose etc?  Just checking as these are all things I know it has been helpful for me to do.  Have you been back more than once?


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## Newtothegeegees (14 January 2020)

Ok so I have: ridden her, watched her tacked up, groomed her, got in the stable with her, picked up her feet, seen her jump, watched her legs be washed down with the hose.

I haven’t: taken her for a hack or sprayed anything near her. I’ve been told she has to be sedated to be clipped.

I’ve asked: Is she good to not be ridden for a few days? - yes but a good turnout space is important for her. How is she with other horses? No problem. Does she buck/rear? No but it may take time to settle her in her new yard as she was unsettled when she arrived at dealers. Any vices? No.

What am I missing? Am I going to get her home only to realise I’ve been coaxed into buying a 3 legged donkey? Nervous. 

Thanks for the checklist. I plan to be there at the vetting so I will ride her again then. Any other things I should ask?


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## Meowy Catkin (14 January 2020)

How is she to catch in from the field? IMO having a bad to catch horse is potentially one of the most frustrating things that can happen with horse ownership.

ETA on a really basic level I want a horse that I like, is sound and pain free, that I can catch and handle safely on the ground, that is sensible and within my capabilities to ride. Other things can be worked around but those basics really are important IME.


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## Newtothegeegees (14 January 2020)

Good point.

One of my other main concerns is that she isn’t spooky. I just will not enjoy her if this is the case. I did ask and they said she isn’t spooky. Do I trust what people tell me?


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## neddy man (14 January 2020)

To check spooky , HACK HACK HACK


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## Meowy Catkin (14 January 2020)

Something like spookiness is to some degree subjective, depends what the rider can take in their stride and will change for the same animal given a change in surroundings. Take my chestnut mare she will do small jumps at things that are easy to sit too, so a pigeon taking off near her (and they always wait until they are level with her head to very noisily fly away), a pheasant doing the same, litter blowing on the verge and flowers coming into bloom that *weren't there yesterday* will get a small 'eep' and maybe a sidestep but it's very easy to sit to and to keep her straight. Big things like jangly skip lorries, steam engines, and big farm traffic she deals with calmly. Changing home and going somewhere new can also liven her up a bit. So is she too spooky or not? I don't know many horses that are 100% naughty pidgeon proof.


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## Red-1 (14 January 2020)

If hacking is going to be important to you, then I would recommend you go take her for a hack before the money changes hands.


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## Meredith (14 January 2020)

The cynic in me says 
Ask the questions
But
Accept the answers only when you have SEEN the proof.


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## [59668] (14 January 2020)

I would DEFO take her for a hack, alone and in company, including a canter if possible, if these are things you will want to do.  Including on the roads and offroad if possible


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## Maryann (14 January 2020)

I know it is horribly wet everywhere but is it possible to ride in an open field - apologies if you've already thought of this and done it.


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## Newtothegeegees (14 January 2020)

I’m sure after the vetting I may be able to squeeze in taking her for a hack. That is massively important to me.  My problem in all this is time. The horse is based an hour and a half away and I work 3 days a week so I cant just pop over easily (throw in 3 kids to that mix too).
Open fields is a good idea to ask about if I can’t test. 

the reason I’m worried is one of the horses I shared was a really spooky mare and the owner told me not to take her to open fields as she gets ‘too excited’. Every time I went out hacking it was like riding a nervous wreck. It didn’t help that the owner also appeared that way too. It got to the stage that I had to give up sharing as I was just wondering at what point the horse was going to bolt into the sunset. I do not want that again. A bit of nerves here and there I get but this horse was scared of birds, flowers, noises at any level, fires, oh and frost. She also started napping when it came to leaving the yard.


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## Meredith (14 January 2020)

You must do all your checks before vetting.
Passing a vetting is usually an agreement to purchase.
Don’t spend money on a vetting and then check other things.
Not only is it a waste of money if the horse passes but you don’t feel safe hacking, it is doing things the wrong way round.
If you still decide to have the horse vetted consider having bloods taken too.


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## Upthecreek (14 January 2020)

As Meredith has said if hacking and not being spooky is really important you must do this before the vetting. If you are buying from a dealer they will be desperate for you to collect the horse ASAP after the vetting.


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## SOS (14 January 2020)

Can you not go for a hack right before the vetting? Not ideal if it doesn’t work out but would save you money and the dealers time.
A vetting isn’t too taxing on the horse so I wouldn’t worry about it being ridden twice - if it’s lame after a  hack it’s not going to stay sound!

I personally would never ride/get involved at a vetting. I let the seller do all the trotting up, lunging and riding and just watch. I think it’s a grey area if something happens to the horse whilst vetting and you are in control. I had a horse that was sound at the first flexions, stumbled whilst cantering with the owner riding, then was dog lame on one leg at the second flexions. He failed the vetting. Thankfully it wasn’t me riding as I’d hate to be blamed for the horse stumbling or if it was spooking or whatever caused it to go lame.


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## ihatework (14 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			Good point.

One of my other main concerns is that she isn’t spooky. I just will not enjoy her if this is the case. I did ask and they said she isn’t spooky. Do I trust what people tell me?
		
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Did your new YO/adviser come and check this horse out for you?

I’d advise going back for a hack between now and the vetting.

A horse that ‘takes a while to settle at new yard’ will have a personality with some underlying anxiety - perfectly manageable for someone experienced but not necessarily ideal for a first timer.

Please just make sure someone has tested this horse out for you


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## Upthecreek (14 January 2020)

The other thing I would say is don’t be rushed into this. The dealer has probably told you there is other people interested in the horse, which may well be true, but you don’t want to end up with an unsuitable horse because you felt under pressure to make a quick decision. The last horse I bought was in winter, similar weather conditions as we are experiencing now. Like you, a horse that hacked out sensibly was very important to me. I went to view a horse, rode it in the arena and really liked it. I was told it would confidently hack out alone but when I asked to hack they came up with every excuse under the sun not to. I walked away because that was a deal breaker for me. The point is you shouldn’t be afraid to say this horse isn’t the one for you at any time if something doesn’t feel right.


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## Meowy Catkin (14 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			I’m sure after the vetting I may be able to squeeze in taking her for a hack. That is massively important to me.
		
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I have to agree with everyone else, please do try to move heaven and earth if you possibly can and hack this mare before the vetting.


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## Pearlsasinger (14 January 2020)

Another one saying do all the riding you need to do before the vetting and do make sure that your 'experienced friend'/YO has seen you ride the horse before the vetting, too.  If you are nervous about riding the horse in a certain situation, that is the very situation you should test out before agreeing to purchase, especially as a first time owner.


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## splashgirl45 (14 January 2020)

if you are already feeling a bit nervous about her, you really MUST hack her out before the vetting otherwise you may lose the opportunity as the dealer will want her gone a s a p......i have many years of owning horses but i made a mistake by not hacking my last mare out before i bought her.  she turned out to be very spooky out hacking but fine in the school and it took me years to be able to hack out without feeling nervous even though in over 50 years of owning i had never been nervous. and would ride anything......so make sure you dont overhorse yourself....


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## FestiveFuzz (14 January 2020)

I'm a bit 🤔 about their answer to whether she bucks and/or rears to be honest, reading between the lines I would suspect she's either spooky or nappy when unsettled for them to mention it as part of their answer. Did they explain exactly what she did when she first arrived and was unsettled? 

Absolutely agree with others that you should definitely hack her before the vetting, essentially you want to try doing everything you'd want to do with her before committing to buy so you know she's truly suitable. 

I'd also want to know what she's like to travel.


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## Starzaan (15 January 2020)

Another one here who absolutely would not vet this horse until I had tried it in all the situations I needed to. 
When helping my clients buy their first horse I insist on seeing the horse load and travel a short distance, caught in the field, tacked up, groomed, sprayed with coat shine or the like, sprayed with a hose, hacked out alone on roads and in open fields, and hacked in an open field with company, ridden in the school both on the flat and over fences. 

The answer to the buck and rear question is a little worrying to be honest, especially for a first horse. 

I would be taking an instructor back before the vetting and putting this horse through it’s paces a lot more before vetting.


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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

Meredith said:



			If you still decide to have the horse vetted consider having bloods taken too.
		
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Don't consider having bloods taken,  insist on them being taken,  take a test tube from your vet for yourself and put it in your fridge for six months. Vets can lose it or throw it away too early.
Dont buy if the owner refuses a blood sample. I had a friend who had to be persuaded out of doing that once (and it was tough to get him to see sense). The horse (racehorse) went to auction, sold and was back at the following auction.


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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

Is this your first horse?   I'm so sorry,  because you are understandably excited,  but I would recommend that you back out.  A horse which is bad enough for a dealer to warn that it  takes time to settle in a new home is a real stress for any owner,  never mind a first timer.  And if there is something wrong with it,  or you aren't a good match,  it will be too late to return her once she is settled enough for you to find out.

You also won't be able to take her to a camp, for example, and she might not behave well if you take her away from home for a lesson. These are things a more experience owner will sort out, but it's not a job for a novice owner.


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## Newtothegeegees (15 January 2020)

Thanks girls. I’m going to try and get there early and ride the horse before the vetting. I think I’m going to ask if anyone is available to come out on a hack with me.


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## TheMule (15 January 2020)

You can't ride a horse before a vetting as they have to be stood in for several hours (preferably overnight) before the first trot up.
I would have warning alarms going off from what the dealer has said in answer to the turn out and rearing/ bucking qs. You will have no come back if the horse is tricky when you get it (And who is to argue how long settling in takes?) and if it explodes when you ride it straight from the box without having been turned out before. 
Blood doesn't keep for 6 months in the fridge.....


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## Roxylola (15 January 2020)

To be fair if the dealer is decent the anxiousness at settling in might be them being over cautious
I would try and hack though asap


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## Newtothegeegees (15 January 2020)

I’m finding this forum really helpful but equally confusing. I have just been reading about the vetting and it does say the horse shouldn’t be ridden beforehand.

The dealer is well known to my YO not in a ‘friends’ way but in a business sense. My YO has advised 8 different people on her yard to come to this dealer - she also has one other trusted dealer that she recommends. The horse can be exchanged within 3 months as part of the deal yet out of the 8 on her yard none went back.

In regards to settling in the new yard I think the dealer was just trying to manage my novice expectations ie. don’t rock up for a full hack the day she arrives. I’ve also researched this a bit and it seems quite normal for a horse to take a few weeks to settle into a new routine with new horses surroundings etc.

I’m open for all your advice and really appreciate it.


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## Dyllymoo (15 January 2020)

I'm going to give you my 2ps worth.  I had "friends" at a riding school where I was having lessons help me with their friend the dealer and found me the "perfect" horse.  They recommended the vet (the riding school) to get the vetting done.  He was a dodgy vet who has been struck off now (for doing dodgy vettings) and the dealer was sent to prison for being a dodgy dealer (not due to my horse but many many many others).

I'm not saying this is what is happening with you but I just want to highlight that sometimes we need to step back and think about what we are doing.  Not everyone has our best interests at heart.

I would want to hack the horse out.  Maybe stop the vetting or re-arrange it so that you can hack out asap.  Then maybe ride in the school again, the more you ride her the more you might think she is perfect, or the more you might think she isn't quite for you.  neither is wrong, as long as you are happy with her.

Definitely go for the vetting if you do decide to have her vetted and get the bloods taken.  

Don't be afraid to walk away either if that is what your gut is telling you.


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## Newtothegeegees (15 January 2020)

Jesus these stories are scaring the hell out of me. I want to run a mile now!


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## Dyllymoo (15 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			Jesus these stories are scaring the hell out of me. I want to run a mile now!
		
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I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted you to be aware a bit more.  I wasn't and it caused me financial and emotional problems if I'm honest.

I think the main thing to do is to ride the mare again, at least hack her out and maybe again in the school after the hack (try that way round to see how she is without being worked first).


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## ihatework (15 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			I’m finding this forum really helpful but equally confusing. I have just been reading about the vetting and it does say the horse shouldn’t be ridden beforehand.

The dealer is well known to my YO not in a ‘friends’ way but in a business sense. My YO has advised 8 different people on her yard to come to this dealer - she also has one other trusted dealer that she recommends. The horse can be exchanged within 3 months as part of the deal yet out of the 8 on her yard none went back.

In regards to settling in the new yard I think the dealer was just trying to manage my novice expectations ie. don’t rock up for a full hack the day she arrives. I’ve also researched this a bit and it seems quite normal for a horse to take a few weeks to settle into a new routine with new horses surroundings etc.

I’m open for all your advice and really appreciate it.
		
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Well that sounds slightly more positive but not fool-proof (not that anything is foolproof when buying a horse).

How old is this horse and what is her history? Why is she in a dealers rather than a private sale? How long have the dealers had her?

If you have an advert link then I’m happy to look by PM.

We are just all slightly concerned you have done exactly what a lot of other first time buyers do - rock up at a dealer, fall in love, buy. Then are left dealing with the consequences.


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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

TheMule said:



			Blood doesn't keep for 6 months in the fridge.....
		
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I thought I had  always been told by the vet to keep it six months and it looks fine? Maybe remembering wrong, getting old and a long time since I had a vetting done.

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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			I’m finding this forum really helpful but equally confusing. I have just been reading about the vetting and it does say the horse shouldn’t be ridden beforehand.

The dealer is well known to my YO not in a ‘friends’ way but in a business sense. My YO has advised 8 different people on her yard to come to this dealer - she also has one other trusted dealer that she recommends. The horse can be exchanged within 3 months as part of the deal yet out of the 8 on her yard none went back.

In regards to settling in the new yard I think the dealer was just trying to manage my novice expectations ie. don’t rock up for a full hack the day she arrives. I’ve also researched this a bit and it seems quite normal for a horse to take a few weeks to settle into a new routine with new horses surroundings etc.

I’m open for all your advice and really appreciate it.
		
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The three month return changes things.  Can you get that in writing, and is it refund or exchange?


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## ester (15 January 2020)

Usual storage for vetting bloods is 6 months.


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## ihatework (15 January 2020)

ycbm said:



			I thought I had  always been told by the vet to keep it six months and it looks fine? Maybe remembering wrong, getting old and a long time since I had a vetting done.

.
		
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It would need to be frozen down and stored at at least -20, possibly -70 depending on metabolite stability. Never heard of someone keeping their own tube in fridge, lol 😂


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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

Cross posted.


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## ycbm (15 January 2020)

ihatework said:



			It would need to be frozen down and stored at at least -20, possibly -70 depending on metabolite stability. Never heard of someone keeping their own tube in fridge, lol 😂
		
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I've always been given one.  

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## bonny (15 January 2020)

ycbm said:



			The three month return changes things.  Can you get that in writing, and is it refund or exchange?
		
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I very much doubt anyone is going to give you your money back after 3 months and I would be wary of dealers idea of a fair exchange ! It’s good though that others have had favourable experiences with this dealer, just be careful .


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## southerncomfort (15 January 2020)

Not saying the dealer is dodgy but I would say they have been very clever in their answers.  I think you might have a tough time proving that the horse has been misrepresented if it turns out to be spooky  or buck/rear.

As others have said, if you are buying the horse to hack out on then you MUST hack it out before you buy it.  You can't take someone's word for it that the horse is fine to hack as one person's idea of 'fine' can be very different to another's!


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## twiggy2 (15 January 2020)

Take a breath and stop,just for a moment, your mind must be whirling with all the information.
Your right you cannot turn out or exercise a horse before a vetting, it could losses up a stiffness that may be relevant at the vetting.
Can you ask your YO to hack the mare out with you there and then you hop on in a field and ride back, obviously the YO will need paying, if they can't do it can then suggest someone who can?
I think it's important not to message the seller about but I would o everything before the vetting.


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## Trouper (15 January 2020)

twiggy2 said:



			Take a breath and stop,just for a moment, your mind must be whirling with all the information.
This exactly.   Buying a horse is not an exact science and no-one has the foolproof system.  I've bought with a 5-stage vetting and still had problems so all you are doing is minimising as many risks as you can and that is the sensible thing to do.  BUT - if you need to have a steady hack then you must try that out first or you are ignoring one of the most important tests you can easily do for yourself and wasting a lot of money.  I would even put the vetting back to enable me to do this.
Most horses will be unsettled for a while in a new home - some just don't show it so much.  If, and when, you do get her home don't be overwhelmed by the first few months.  Most horse care is just common sense and they just need us to be calm and confident around them to help them settle.   I know this won't settle your nerves (!) but sometimes you simply have to take a leap of faith - just make sure you have tested out everything you can before you decide she is the one for you.
		
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## Starzaan (15 January 2020)

I really feel for you, but I would definitely take heed of the advice offered. 

Yes, it is normal for a horse to take a while to settle at a new yard, but the majority of horses will just get on with it. I have bought many horses over the years, both for myself and for the equestrian centre I used to manage (we’re talking into the hundreds) and I have always worked them the day they arrived if they were broken in. I’ve never had one really struggle to settle, but for a novice owner a lot of them would have been too much. 

My current competition horse is used to moving and travelling and spending the odd night in a strange place. He’s super chilled and I’ve never had a problem with him, but if a novice got on him at a new place they would promptly be ejected as he does get a little tense when ridden in new surroundings, and for a novice or nervous rider he is quite frankly, lethal. 

The answer to the question ‘does she buck or rear’ is incredibly worrying, and sounds like a dealer trying to cover their arses. 

Generally, horses are with dealers for a reason. If I were to sell my boy, he would probably go to a dealer because he is very difficult to ride and a dealer would make him look easier than he is. I would buy youngsters from a good dealer that brings them over from Ireland, but honestly when buying horses you have to seriously read between the lines. 

Unless asked, if most people were selling my boy, they wouldn’t offer up the information that he has in fact put two people into comas, they would probably say he can be sharp’. 

Please feel free to pm me. Im happy to look at adverts or have a chat on the phone to help in any way I can. I can’t wait to see your happy posts about your first outing with your horse, having fun and feeling confident!


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## ihatework (15 January 2020)

I’ve been sent the advert.
The horse is a nice enough Irish x
The advert seem honest, well written and matched what is shown on the video and the horses price doesn’t raise suspicion. Overall I don’t smell dodgy.

But the horse is an exceptionally green 5yo. Behind the leg. Showing a dubious shoulder bulge at times into a fence. In my opinion far too green for a first time owner unless serious amounts of ££ are going to be invested post sale to keep both heading in the right direction. As a 2nd/3rd horse is say ‘lovely, send the vet’


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## Upthecreek (15 January 2020)

ihatework said:



			I’ve been sent the advert.
The horse is a nice enough Irish x
The advert seem honest, well written and matched what is shown on the video and the horses price doesn’t raise suspicion. Overall I don’t smell dodgy.

But the horse is an exceptionally green 5yo. Behind the leg. Showing a dubious shoulder bulge at times into a fence. In my opinion far too green for a first time owner unless serious amounts of ££ are going to be invested post sale to keep both heading in the right direction. As a 2nd/3rd horse is say ‘lovely, send the vet’
		
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OP please, please don’t buy a green 5 year old as your first horse. It will have been schooled intensively to get it ready for sale and make it look good and unless you have the skills and experience to keep this up things will go south very quickly. For a first horse you want something that already has plenty of experience of doing the activities you want to do. From what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like you have the skills, experience or confidence to teach a green horse. I hate to rain on your parade but I really fear you are setting yourself up for heartache if you buy this horse ☹️


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## Starzaan (15 January 2020)

Upthecreek said:



			OP please, please don’t buy a green 5 year old as your first horse. It will have been schooled intensively to get it ready for sale and make it look good and unless you have the skills and experience to keep this up things will go south very quickly. For a first horse you want something that already has plenty of experience of doing the activities you want to do. From what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like you have the skills, experience or confidence to teach a green horse. I hate to rain on your parade but I really fear you are setting yourself up for heartache if you buy this horse ☹️
		
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I’m afraid I have to second this sentiment.


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## Red-1 (15 January 2020)

I too would not suggest an exceptionally green 5 year old for a first horse. The dealers will be in the best position to show the horse, a good dealer can make many horses seem quiet.

I would look again, and go for one a bit more established. Either that, or have a plan to give this horse extra education, with support for you. This will likely cost £££, but can work. But, why go for that, when you could have a more established one that you can go and have fun on straight away?


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## Amymay (15 January 2020)

ihatework said:



			I’ve been sent the advert.
The horse is a nice enough Irish x
The advert seem honest, well written and matched what is shown on the video and the horses price doesn’t raise suspicion. Overall I don’t smell dodgy.

But the horse is an exceptionally green 5yo. Behind the leg. Showing a dubious shoulder bulge at times into a fence. In my opinion far too green for a first time owner unless serious amounts of ££ are going to be invested post sale to keep both heading in the right direction. As a 2nd/3rd horse is say ‘lovely, send the vet’
		
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Glad the op sent you the advert (?).  

Wise words from someone with experience.


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## SusieT (15 January 2020)

How trustworthy is YO? I know several who send all new clients to their friendly dealer, while getting a backhand in return so not being truely impartial. There is no doubt you must hack this horse before vetting it - unless you want to set yourself up for heartache and possible financial problems. If you already feel a bit nervous it may be this horse is more than you will be able to handle when its just you and her. There is no reason you cant rearrange the vetting having hacked the horse first.


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## Upthecreek (15 January 2020)

SusieT said:



			How trustworthy is YO? I know several who send all new clients to their friendly dealer, while getting a backhand in return so not being truely impartial. There is no doubt you must hack this horse before vetting it - unless you want to set yourself up for heartache and possible financial problems. If you already feel a bit nervous it may be this horse is more than you will be able to handle when its just you and her. There is no reason you cant rearrange the vetting having hacked the horse first.
		
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It is definitely not uncommon for YO to have mutually beneficial arrangements with dealers. One local to me gets 10% of purchase price if sale goes through & obviously adds another horse to her yard, which she most probably also makes £££ from in schooling fees when it all goes pear shaped.


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## Upthecreek (18 January 2020)

Did you go ahead with the vetting OP?


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## Newtothegeegees (18 January 2020)

so anyway... I didn’t get her. Wasn’t happy with the YO attitude in the end. Very rushed and think she just saw me as a pound note rather than had my interests at heart. I’m going to concentrate more on looking around yards for a while and on my horse that I share.


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## splashgirl45 (18 January 2020)

well done for walking away,  there will be a horse out there for you so dont give up hope....


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## Upthecreek (18 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			so anyway... I didn’t get her. Wasn’t happy with the YO attitude in the end. Very rushed and think she just saw me as a pound note rather than had my interests at heart. I’m going to concentrate more on looking around yards for a while and on my horse that I share.
		
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I think you made a wise decision. It’s very easy to let the heart rule the head and also to be swayed by people trying to push you in a certain direction. The experience will only help you when you are ready to buy.


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## ycbm (18 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			so anyway... I didn’t get her. Wasn’t happy with the YO attitude in the end. Very rushed and think she just saw me as a pound note rather than had my interests at heart. I’m going to concentrate more on looking around yards for a while and on my horse that I share.
		
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Good decision.

.


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## Jules111 (18 January 2020)

Buying a horse is seriously stressful and even when you have taken every precaution possible it is very much a lottery.  Really glad you posted here for advice.  It sounds like you dodged a bullet.  Something closer to a gentle, friendly schoolmaster type would be perfect to help to build your experience and confidence.


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## Trouper (19 January 2020)

Well done for making a hard decision - it is sooo tempting to think "it will be all right".


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## Red-1 (19 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			so anyway... I didn’t get her. Wasn’t happy with the YO attitude in the end. Very rushed and think she just saw me as a pound note rather than had my interests at heart. I’m going to concentrate more on looking around yards for a while and on my horse that I share.
		
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Is this the YO of where you were going to keep her? If so, yes I would also look for another yard. I would keep an eye open for what is on the market, one may just drop on you when you see the advert. Maybe put a card in a local tack shop? Ask at the local riding club? In fact, volunteering at the local riding club would be very advantageous as you are networking as well as learning.


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## Bearsmum (19 January 2020)

wow, what a tough learning journey you've been through, however as many others have said, making the wrong decision is  costly both in terms of money & emotions


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## Newtothegeegees (19 January 2020)

Quite a big roller coaster and all in a week! What I didn’t say in my last post was that I had to go back to the yard to see my lovely share horse and the YO was there... I was so embarrassed as I felt as though I had mucked her around by asking her for help with the dealer, stables and vets etc - she didn’t actually do anything as I already pulled the plug on vetting etc but she text me to say I had cost her money (from lessons she was going to do when I had asked her to attend vetting that I had now cancelled) and she had allocated me a stable - which is quite odd as the morning I was having doubts I text her to ask what stable I would be allocated and she replied with a curt ‘I don’t know yet’. This added to my already anxious brain as I would be paying top livery so expected her to know especially as horse would have been arriving in a week. I understand there are yard politics involved here. I told her straight away I would pay anything I had inconvenienced her for but she didn’t reply. Anyway when I saw her she completely blanked me.
So now I have to decide if I want to keep sharing my horse at that yard or just cut all ties and go elsewhere. I love the owners of my share horse they are so nurturing and understanding I would be gutted to leave them but the YO has made me feel awkward and maybe I shouldn’t have let it get that far.


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## ycbm (19 January 2020)

I think from that it was clear that the yard owner was going to get a cut from the dealer of what you paid for the horse. And that it seems very likely she was anticipating big payments from you to teach you how to ride the green horse you had been sold that she already knew was not right for a first time owner.

You've had a lucky escape!

As an aside, you need your expert to attend the viewing, not the vetting. What was she going to go to that for?


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## splashgirl45 (19 January 2020)

giver her a couple of days and see if her attitude towards you changes,  if not it may be better to find another yard to keep your new horse at (when you get him/her) as you will be always on edge if you stay...its a shame you have had such a bad first experience of getting your own horse but may be best in the long run.  i was at a yard for over 8 years and after YO's husband walked out on her she seemed to blame us and made life difficult.  my friend and i decided to leave as we couldnt cope with her attitude and found a yard which was much better for the same money so sometimes life takes you in different directions for a reason.


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## Dwyran_gold (19 January 2020)

Holy moly, there’s a lot of info on this thread. Lol some really good advice! I remember when I was looking for my first horse, I really liked him, id been and tested it in and out with and without company etc and my vet did the check and said “this horse is too stiff so hes not passed, he’s not the one, sorry”  I was gutted and the owner went crazy at him for failing him for it. Anyway, a month later I tested another horse, he was dun ISH, I fell in love with this one! the vet did the checks and said “see the difference in his movement, he’s passed and I like him, this is the one” and I had him for 10 years  
Not much point to my story other then it’ll work out and you’ll find your one. Fingers crossed for you xx


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## SO1 (19 January 2020)

I think you have had a near miss on that one. I expect the YO and dealer have a symbiotic relationship. Did the spooky share horse come from that dealer? 

If there is a local Riding Club I would suggest joining it, they will know all the yards in the area and the pro's and con's for each one. They may also know horses coming up for sale that might be suitable for you that are experienced horses that are reliable and suitable as a first horse. Most dealers are experienced riders and you need a horse that have been in amateur home and lived the lifestyle that it would live with you and been happy in the environment. A 5 year old is too much of a risk. If hacking is important to you then you need a horse that has been regularly hacking out alone and in company with an amateur rider and you need to test it out before the vetting.


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