# I'm scared of my horse!



## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

I bought my horse on 1st March.  He was advertised as '100% bombproof', 'anyone can ride him' etc.  I rode him before I bought him and he seemed to be just what I wanted - calm, quiet.  I am a novice after having a 20 yr break from horses.  I told the girl this when I went to look at him and she said he would be fine for me.  A few weeks on he began to show signs of 'misbehaving' - he would try and lead me wherever he wanted to go (he is a strong 16.3hh).  I got in touch with a behaviorist and he gave me some exercises to do with him.  he seemed to respond well to these if he and I were alone without distractions, but if the other horse who is stables next to him was there, then he would ignore me and I would become invisible again.  Yesterday we put my horse in the same paddock as the other gelding.  The other gelding is a 20 yr old amiable  chap without a bad bone in his body.  All seemed good until later in the afternoon we happened to see my gelding 'attacking' the other gelding.  He was like a thing posessed - he was literally on top of him biting, pawing at him and chasing him from one end of the paddock to another over and over again.  When we managed to get a gate between them the older horse was almost on his knees and I think if we hadn't been there my horse would've killed the other one.  This was yesterday and today he has been running up and down the fence all day, not interested in grazing, just bothered where the other gelding is.  It's really knocked my confidence and I don't feel comfortable around him.  I phoned the girl I bought him off who said she'd love to have him back but she doesn't have the money.  What can I do?  I've been crying for the past 24 hours since it all happened.  I've been told by the owner of the stables to get rid of him, but I don't know how.  He's lovely looking and he may be ok with someone stronger, but that's not me.


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## FarthingwoodFox (30 April 2008)

Oh dear I feel for you I really do - is there anyone at your livery yard who can help bolster your confidence for a while.
I have a big horse 16.3+ and I know how scary it is when they play up - but you have to be boss, its uneqivocal. Can you get some lessons with him with a local instructor to help you?


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## JM07 (30 April 2008)

Which dealer did you buy him from??


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## _OC_ (30 April 2008)

Get some help and get him sold!


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## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

She was a private seller.


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## zelli (30 April 2008)

How much did you pay for him? how much would you be willing to accept back? How old is the horse? pm me if you would prefer...


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## polyphonic (30 April 2008)

[ QUOTE ]
Which dealer did you buy him from?? 

[/ QUOTE ]
i think it sounds like a private seller


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## Taboo1968 (30 April 2008)

Where did you buy him from?  The wording from his ad seems to be taken from a well known dealers!!!


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## Orangehorse (30 April 2008)

Post on www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk website and see what suggestions there are.

You HAVE to be the leader.  That doesn't mean beating him or being nasty, but if you don't take the lead, he will (as you have found out.)

As for attacking the other horse, maybe it is spring in the air/hormones.  Some geldings are more stallion-like than others.

"I would love to have him back but haven't the money" is a pretty standard reply.  Was it a private purchase or from a dealer.  There is more protection from a dealer, as you can say " it is not as described" if not suitable for a novice owner.


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## _OC_ (30 April 2008)

[ QUOTE ]
Which dealer did you buy him from?? 

[/ QUOTE ]


If it's a dealer......then this poor girl has been given the impression it was a private sale,by how it is expressed in the post!


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## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

I didn't pay much for him, £2200.  He was worryingly underweight when I bought him, but the vet said he'd be fine afer putting on some.  He came with a KWPN passport which I found out at a later date wasn't his.  The ex owner managed to get hold of his real one.


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## Dressagebabe (30 April 2008)

If he was bought from a private home it is a little more difficult but you still have rights, did you keep the advert stateing he is quiet for a novice? did you get something signed to this effect? your other option is to get a professional rider to assess him and if they feel you have been sold something not true to description then you have a claim, this can go through small claims court if he was less than £5k. You need to seek proffesional advice. Tell the girl you bought him off that you are going to speak to your solicitor and that may be enough to scare her into taking him back.  I will just point out that you have only had him a short time and it does take them quite a bit longer to settle in to their new homes, I have a newish horse (5months) that is still unpredictable to ride but I know he will come good as he is improving each month. I truely believe it can take up to a year for them to really settle, however, you will not be able to get your money back if you leave it any longer. The courts usually allow 6-8wks for a private sale and 3 months for a dealer although I was told by an equine solicitor (where my sister works) that they have made claims of up to a year before now. Good luck


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## marieE (30 April 2008)

i didnt read everything i will be honest, but if your scared of him sell him, its extremly hard to go back once youve got to the point tht your actually scared of your horse! 
	
	
		
		
	


	





send him to a yard tht can sort him out and sell him on, get yourself something tht is a pleasure to own, its a hobby, you must enjoy it, and dont see it as failure, not every one gets on, there will be a horse out there for you. 
	
	
		
		
	


	





ok, i decided to read your post in full now, hes a big lad! is this first time hes done anything like tht? if he's not been agressive with you could you find somewhere where he could have individual turnout, and you get some lessons?


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## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

I don't think she is a dealer.  She's offered to come and ride him for me and try and sort him out, but I can't get near him on the ground.  Given the mental state he's in, he'd trample me in a heartbeat!


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## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

I had to threaten her with a solicitor's letter in order to get his real passport.  I contacted Trading Standards yesterday and they advised me to write a letter and what wording to use etc.  I have given my solicitor this info today and he is going to write to her.  As I mentioned before, I can't keep him as stable owner has told me to get rid.


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## icestationzebra (30 April 2008)

I'm sorry to hear this.  There is something suspicious here..... I wonder if he was very underweight when you bought him because she kept him half starved in order to keep him manageable.  Suddenly he is on decent food and he has reverted to type.  He was also very cheap for a so called 'bombproof' novice ride.  They are worth a fair bit of money.
Please seek some professional help - where exactly are you based - PM me if you prefer.  I would also call this lady again and say you are seeking legal advice.  The fact that she initially supplied him with the wrong passport is also a worrying sign.....


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## polyphonic (30 April 2008)

can you not move yards? I wouldnt sell my horse because someone told me to.  Is individual turn out poss? And how about walking him out in his bridle for a while?


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## Damnation (30 April 2008)

Get the behaviourist back out, try and understand why he is behaving like this. If you feel that he is too much for you then sell him. If you are scared of him the problems could escalate, and you could have a huge problem on your hands, he's a big boy! Its not fair when you have spent 20years out of horses to have to deal with a problem horse, at this stage you want a calm quiet convidence giver, if your scared of the horse then he isn't a convidence giver. I hope this helps Izzi xx


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## carthorse (30 April 2008)

Is he having a lot of feed and getting above himself . 
How long did the previous owner have him and was he out with other horses .Weird about the passport ,if it was a genuine private home!
 My horse [ who we bred] is not to be trusted in a field with anyone but his mare ,who is not his mum but he has been with her all his life.
I feel for you but you will have a problem selling as you know about these problems,try to send back or sell to a dealer, maybe get your vets advice if he vetted for you.


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## Skhosu (30 April 2008)

I think it sounds like he has begun to take the mickey a bit. I woudl get the old owner up to ride him and see what she says as he may revert to his old behaviour with you. 
If you were thinking of selling him this would be a positive as it would suggest that you could safely sell him to someone more experienced.
Also the fact she is offering to come ride him is positive as she is not just washing her hands of him.
It sounds to me like you just are not confident, perhaps get an instructor or experienced person out to help you with him as it also sounds very recent, he is probably just testing the boundaries.


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## PennyJ (30 April 2008)

I'm really sorry to hear that.  

I know how heartbreaking it is, but I would be inclined to advertise him for sale and find yourself something a bit smaller and more laid back.  If he scares you, that doubt about him will always be there at the back of your mind, he knows it and will take advantage of you.  ALWAYS probably.

Good luck.


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## AJmoss (30 April 2008)

I will email the behaviorist tonight and hopefully get him back to take a look.  It's not as if he's a young horse, he's 12.  Thank you everyone for your advice and concern!


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## Gorgeous George (30 April 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear this it must be awful. I don't really have any advice, except that I'm a novice owner and although George (also 16.3) is a star he can take the pee sometimes. It has taken me months to learn to be firm and consistent with him even when he is his usual saintly self. I also have a lovely instructor who is happy for me to phone / email if I have a problem and talking it through helps me.


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## poiuytrewq (30 April 2008)

For a while why don't you take the old owner up on her offer? You haven't had him very long and it took my horse longer than that to settle in.( still i sometimes wonder what the hell i have done)  How was he kept before-alone or with company, maybe he was just not used to having another horse in with him?
I got back into riding after a long break and thought i was fine then suddenly after a while horses started behaving more and doing as i asked and i realized it was proberbly actually me giving off vague signals that they were able to pick up on and use to their advantage. A good RI will help with on ground issues aswell as ridden. Take the owner up on her offer and see how he behaves around her.
The very best of luck- I hope it all works out for you xx


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## jelibean (30 April 2008)

I would definitely get his ex owner over to help sort him out as opposed to paying anyone else just yet. After all its not like youve bought a £500. project horse, you have spent enough money for him to be a reasonably safe animal, let her help you, if he doesnt improve then make a decision whether you like him enough to pay for outside help and persevere with him or just to sell him to someone more suitable. 
Granted it does sound a little like you may need to be a more assertive with him but its definitely help that you need with him not an ultimatum to get shut of him, however if you feel that hes not the horse for you, youd be well within your rights to walk away from this now before you loose any more confidence.


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## Shilasdair (30 April 2008)

Caveat emptor - you have a lot fewer rights with a private seller than with a dealer....and you have had him for 8 weeks...and bought him for comparatively little.
I don't think taking legal action will do much for you except increase your stress levels.... 
I suggest you either send him away to be sold, or get a riding instructor to help you with him....
Good luck either way.
S


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## hadfos (30 April 2008)

[ QUOTE ]
Caveat emptor - you have a lot fewer rights with a private seller than with a dealer....and you have had him for 8 weeks...and bought him for comparatively little.
I don't think taking legal action will do much for you except increase your stress levels.... 
I suggest you either send him away to be sold, or get a riding instructor to help you with him....
Good luck either way.
S 
	
	
		
		
	


	





[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with getting an instructor,although he a big lad he only doing what they all do in a new home(try you out)!!!
depending on how much confidence you have lost it is possible to get it back,sounds like you just need some experienced help!!


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## oliviacharley (1 May 2008)

A behaviourist is a great idea....also maybe a good instructor but I would do the behaviourist first.
I lost my confidence and then my husband bought me a 16hh horse as a surprise...his owner had not ridden him for ages due to losing his confidence so he did play up with me for the first month or so in having him.
It took me about a year to get a really good bond with him....
I had a good instructor come down and give me some lessons and she really built my confidence and made me realise that he wasnt being nasty, he was just being lazy and trying it on....
I use all gentle but firm approaches with my horses and it seemed to work...
A natural halter is also a good way of having control and a chifney...
Do you have any friends who could come along and support you...I know it is scary when the horse is playing on your nerves anyhow so having someone else coming along and helping with give you support and build your confidence...
I would start from the basics again...and then re-train him in an arena....get some of that energy off of him...I wouldnt ride him until you have all your confidence back...
Can he just have a seperate field...? He might have been out with others in the past and is missing them or having issues settling in....
sounds like he is angry about something....
Get a behaviourist out....
Good luck


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## Amymay (1 May 2008)

I would say don't bother wasting money with a behaviourist or an instrutor.

Seems you have simply been unfortunate to buy a horse that ultimately is not for you.  It happens - and is sad when it does.  It's not your fault in any way.

Sounds like the horse is now getting plenty of grub, grass and attention and is showing his true colours.  Not necessarily bad colours - just not those suitable for a novice owner.

Advertise him for sale today.


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## jewel (1 May 2008)

why not get the owner to ride him for you but also advertise him then when people come to see him she can show him to them for you.


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## BBH (1 May 2008)

I can't tell you the number of times I have been told to get rid of my boy because of his bad behaviour, he was the worst youngster ever and had no respect for anyone. I was told at one livery yard that no-one would handle him because he would jump on them, he had no respect for anyone and walked to the field on his hind legs, not funny at 16.3.  He knew he could get away with things because people were scared of him. I am a novice owner but I was never scared of him. I had to learn that he was not the cuddly pony I wanted and to treat him firmly and fairly and our relationship flourished. I did send him to a professional trainer who helped him learn some manners and even now at rising 8 he can be a handful but he is very loving and a real character. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you want to persevere with your horse, he is in a new environment and needs to know the boundaries, if you are scared though get some sympathetic professional help. Good luck


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## BigRed (1 May 2008)

If you have really decided to get rid of him, then take him to a dealer.  You will lose money, but at least you won't have the horse anymore.  It is not a crime to accept its the wrong horse for you.

BUT, what has most likely happened, is this horse is still not settled in his new home.  He does not trust you and that scares HIM, which also scares YOU.   

People rarely think about how a new home makes a horse feel.  He has a new stable that smells of other horses, strange new friends, new places to hack, probably new tack to wear etc.

If you can afford to, put him on full livery, so you don't have to handle him, and a professional can.  It will put him back on the straight and narrow and give you some breathing space.  Only ride him in a school, with an instructor, who will make you work the horse properly.  This will stop him being a twit and make you think about what you are doing, rather than give you time to worry.


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## Booboos (1 May 2008)

It doesn't sound to me like you want to ride this horse and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Horses are supposed to be fun and if he is scaring you, then he is not for you.

If you think that is correct then the next question is what to do with him and how much money would you like to have back. I don't think you will get far with a legal course of action against a private seller, so I would look at selling the horse on. If you prefer to sell him very quickly but lose a bit of money contact a few dealers and see who will give you the best price to come and collect him - they should be able to sort him out and if not, it's their problem. If you want to get your money back you will need to spend money. For me this horse has lost his confidence and needs someone to give it back to him both handling and riding, so I think you would need to send him to a professional to sort out and then consider selling. Livery at professional yards can be quite expenssive though and you need to think whether it would be worth it given what you might realistically get for selling the horse at the end of it. I would only contact the behaviourist and instructor if you decide you want to your partnership with this horse another chance.


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## enchanted_lady (1 May 2008)

If im honest, it sounds as though the horse is hormonal.  Its the time of year where most mares are coming / are in season, and the boys (especially if cut late) are playing up.  Is he stabled next door to a mare, or is in a field next to a mare in season, as this could explain his behaviour towards the other gelding (stallion like behaviour) do you know when he was cut, or is it possible he could have a retained testicle?  If you can try keeping him away from any mares, and try working with him when there is no other activity on the yard ie 1st light, or at dawn?  Please always wear your hat whilst being with him, just incase, but i feel that it really isnt an evil thing, its a natural type of behaviour for a highly hormonal gelding / rig at this type of year.  Try giving him some super calm or rigcalm and see how he goes.  I would also let his previous owner ride him for now so you can gain confidence from her, or see that he is not what you hoped for in a horse.

Good Luck,

let us know how you get on,

Laura xxx


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## ladyt25 (1 May 2008)

I agree you've not had this horse v long really for him to have settled in to his environment but i also feel it isn't right to not enjoy having the horse either. Stilll i would try the further help route first as there must have been some reason you felt he was right for you and bought him in the first place?

If you are feeding him any hard feed maybe have a look at exactly WHAT you are feeding him - some horses react very ddly to certain supplements - my sister's horse turns into a bit of a bolshy idiot if he has oats and he's usually v v calm!

Also, some horses DO take a long time to settle and are always going to be more aggressive towards other horses in the field, he will still be trying to establish himself in the hierachy. Keep him so he can 'talk' to the other horse but cannot physically injure him, eventually he should settle down in that respect. Believe me have a v v dominant pony and horse but we used to have a worse one who was v aggressive with anything nerw we introduced it would actually take us months to get harmony in the group. Normally the new horse was separated for several weeks before steadily introducing the to the horses lower in the pecking order first.

Certainly gve him some more time - don't feed any hard feed at all if you have grass and if possible turn him out 24/7 let him burn his energy up!


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## Parkranger (1 May 2008)

If you're going the small claims route you have to start by writing her a letter laying out what you're not happy with etc and that you want her to take him back.

One thing I will say though is that if you are ok riding him, then you perhaps need to decide whether you can get tougher with him.  When I first got Ty he was so bolshy on the flat with me and I just realised that either I got tough or he'd walk all over me!  re. his behaviour with other horses, there have been a few posts like this likely - was he in a field with other geldings before?


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## AJmoss (3 May 2008)

For those of you who don't know, I called out the vet on Thurs am for some help.  My boy had cleared two 5 bar gates and a fence just so that he could get at the other gelding (the one he attacked).  He kept 'rounding up' the gelding (which was the beginning of something terrible last time) and so we had to keep our eyes on them.  The vet advised me to put my handsome boy to sleep because she thought he had serious behavior issues.  She said that I had to think about his future ... if he got passed from pillar to post, he may eventually be sold for slaughter.  Also he could hurt another horse or person (or child), and could I live with that on my conscience.
After much soul searching and many tears shed, I decided to go with her advice and have him put to sleep by injection.  He died peacefully at approx 1pm on Thurs.  Although I hadn't known him for too long, it felt like saying goodbye to my best friend.  I know I'll remember him for the good times, not the bad.


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## Fairynuff (3 May 2008)




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## Fairynuff (3 May 2008)

Didnt the vet do a hormone test before passing such a harsh sentence on him? He couldve been a rig. Im sorry it ended as it did anyhow, it must have been very hard on you. 
	
	
		
		
	


	




. A huge hug from me, Mairi.x


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## SirenaXVI (3 May 2008)

[ QUOTE ]
I think it sounds like he has begun to take the mickey a bit. I woudl get the old owner up to ride him and see what she says as he may revert to his old behaviour with you. 
If you were thinking of selling him this would be a positive as it would suggest that you could safely sell him to someone more experienced.
Also the fact she is offering to come ride him is positive as she is not just washing her hands of him.
It sounds to me like you just are not confident, perhaps get an instructor or experienced person out to help you with him as it also sounds very recent, he is probably just testing the boundaries. 

[/ QUOTE ]

Completely agree, horses are good at sensing uncertainty - I would give him more time and take the old owner up on her offer.


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## SirenaXVI (3 May 2008)

[ QUOTE ]
For those of you who don't know, I called out the vet on Thurs am for some help.  My boy had cleared two 5 bar gates and a fence just so that he could get at the other gelding (the one he attacked).  He kept 'rounding up' the gelding (which was the beginning of something terrible last time) and so we had to keep our eyes on them.  The vet advised me to put my handsome boy to sleep because she thought he had serious behavior issues.  She said that I had to think about his future ... if he got passed from pillar to post, he may eventually be sold for slaughter.  Also he could hurt another horse or person (or child), and could I live with that on my conscience.
After much soul searching and many tears shed, I decided to go with her advice and have him put to sleep by injection.  He died peacefully at approx 1pm on Thurs.  Although I hadn't known him for too long, it felt like saying goodbye to my best friend.  I know I'll remember him for the good times, not the bad. 

[/ QUOTE ]

So sorry, did not read this until I had already posted my other post.

You have made a very brave and unselfish decision, hats off to you.


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## Skhosu (3 May 2008)

I am quite surprised I have to say at the vet for not suggesting a behaviorist before going straight to PTS :S


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## AJmoss (4 May 2008)

Having gone through everything I have recently, I was a little bored and at a loose end this afternoon, so I thought i'd have a quick look at www.horsemart.co.uk.  Ref: HM814N5BC.  Imagine my shock .... and anger when I found that the woman, who had sold me my boy I had to have PTS, has another one (a mare) for sale!  This woman was telling me that she couldn't afford to buy my boy back and yet she's managed to buy another horse .... AND it looks like she's going to have lots of ££££ in the bank soon.
Please steer clear of this woman.  In my experience, she's not what she seems!!  For all I know, she could be a horse dealer after all.
I am so angry, and yet again in tears .....


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## PennywithHenry (4 May 2008)

Where abouts in Lincolnshire is she AJ? She seems a lot like the woman my mother had a similar incident with buying her mare. The surname's the same but not the first....PM me if you prefer.


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## AJmoss (5 May 2008)

Hi, sorry, only just read your message.  The girl in question lives on the coast.  Can't say exactly where as I'm taking her to court.  Perhaps your mum dealt with her mum(?).  What happened with your mum's mare?

A.


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