# Can I cry pls?



## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

Just need a bit of a sniff and a whinge please... Ebony is still poorly, she's been almost 2 weeks on gastroguard with no change, well actually she looks more ropey, I'm on my phone so can't post today's pics but If anyone is on my Facebook they can post a link to there for me?! They say a picture adds weight, doesn't it just, she is shocking in the flesh and I'm really loosing hope. The surpression test was inconclusive, showing high cortisol in the evening and lower in the morning after dext injection. But still very high, we are still waiting on the ACTH results, and the other day she started to refuse her fast fibre... Of which I have 3 bags! I now have 5 different feeds on the go, it took me an hour to find a feed combination tht she would eat. She can't go out in the rain, she'd get cold, she's in winter woolies because she's to skinny, she still welcomes me with a whinny but I haven't seen any real energy for a few days now and she has definitely dropped off in weight. 
I rang the grass sickness people today, despite the fact that their offices are supposed to be open, all I got was an answer machine, so I emailed them.  She isn't sweating and has loads of gut sounds, she shows some level of constipation (small pony size pellets of poo) but hasn't blocked up or anything. So I can't see it's gs but I'm desperately clutching at straws. I've never heard of such rapid weight loss in a cushings horse but apparently cortisol is raised in gs cases, but then any stress could cause cortisol to raise I suppose. If its not cushings, the next thing is probably steroids for a month. I'm getting so desperate... And I'm pretty sure I watching her end game, I don't think we're going to find what it is and I don't think it's fixable. Am also ordering some egusin in case it's hind guys ulcers but things are pretty dire. 

So, does anyone know of gs cases that haven't sweated buckets and lost gut movement, and doe an I shamelessly ask for some hho vibes and ((((hugs)))) for me and ebony please.


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## elliefiz (12 June 2012)

Sorry to hear there hasn't been an improvement. :-( no advice as have no experience of ulcers but sending good healing vibes and hope there's a marked improvement ASAP.


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## flirtygerty (12 June 2012)

Aaagh pet, I've been following your posts.
I wish I lived closer, I would come and give you the biggest hug ever.
You cry all you want, I think you have held up amazingly
All things crossable are now crossed.
will be thinking of you
XXXXXX


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## tallyho! (12 June 2012)

oh my poor queenbee. I am just sorry I have no experience to give you hope. Only a big fat hug and a soft shoulder to cry on. Xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## HaffiesRock (12 June 2012)

Massive hugs and well wishes from me xxxx


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## Dolcé (12 June 2012)

QB, I am so sorry your mare is still so ill.  Is it worth contacting these http://crossgatesfarm.co.uk/, I suppose it is quite expensive to have the testing done but it may be money well spent if it comes up with a remedy.  I have always heard good things about them but I am sure there are others who have actually used them that can offer a real 'testimonial'.  I really hope you manage to find out what is wrong and how to deal with it.


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## Sugar_and_Spice (12 June 2012)

I knew a horse with chronic grass sickness & she still passed droppings a bit. She sweated but not loads just like she'd been for a ride & it was intermittent not all the time. The horse recovered but the owners had to hand feed it & had to keep changing the food. I'm sorry your horse is so ill. I hope you find out what's wrong. It sounds like a desperate situation. Fingers crossed she recovers.


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## JFTDWS (12 June 2012)

Nothing constructive here either, I'm afraid, but I am so sorry to read this  xx


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## meesha (12 June 2012)

So so sorry that Ebony is so poorly, sending vibes and keeping everything crossed for her.


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## rhino (12 June 2012)

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...41846446.27994.100000011520987&type=1&theater
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...41846446.27994.100000011520987&type=1&theater
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...41846446.27994.100000011520987&type=1&theater

Oh hun 

Is she insured? Have your vets suggested having her referred to a horspital? I don't know what else to suggest...


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## Kat (12 June 2012)

Saw the facebook pictures  

Vibes and thoughts and hugs...... You must be beside yourself with worry.


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## happyhacking:) (12 June 2012)

tell me bout it hun. im in a very similar place to you right now

my mare has been poorly for 5 months now and in the past 2 has lost a considerable amount of weight despite being fed as much food as she can eat.  have tried everything. some days she eats some days she doesn't. at the mo she is at Rossdales having weight loss examinations and im worried sick about her. Have spent much of the past week in tears. im at the end of my rope with her i dont know what to do or how to help her. 

Hope you start to get some improvement soon. Best of luck


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

Thank u x. Ellie the thing is we just don't KNOW what it is, we thought it could be stomach ulcers at one point, which is why  she went on the  gastroguard, at one point we thought it could be worms even though she'd had a bleeding good dose of equest pramox, so he had pancur for 5 days, she's had bute, antibiotics, cushings test... Liver function, in depth blood tests, I'm a fixer, I can always fix something's and solve a problem, if I don't know something I research the answer, eliminate the possibilities and find the cause and fix it.... But I just can't seem to do it!! I mean it's so flucking bad to see buckets and buckets of food go into your horse and her waste away in front of your eyes and just not being able to fix it or stop it... I'm so angry! And I keep asking myself the question when will I stop? I know I may save her yet but I also know that if I can't I will spend my life coming up with 'what ifs' and I don't want to be someone who keeps their horse alive for themselves, never having gone through this before, never having had to make the decision before, I'm becoming acutely aware of how hard it is to know when. My vet and I haven't even said its that time yet, but I can't bear the thought that I may become one of those owners that keeps their horse going for themselves and I can't bear the idea that I may give up on her too soon... I feel very helpless and very lost


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## Trinity Fox (12 June 2012)

My heart goes out to you and I really hope you find an answer,I am really sending positive and healing wishes and hope your horse starts to get better soon.


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## Goldenstar (12 June 2012)

I am so sorry to hear this just hang in there nursing her offer lots of different things eat have you tried young gorse shoots thats a traditional thing to try.


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## Sugar_and_Spice (12 June 2012)

I know its one of those things where everyone's opinion differs, but I would not give up until age does. If your mare is still calling to you happily like she always has done in the morning and her pain is controlled, I'd keep feeding her and looking for the answer. If the light in her eyes goes out or she's in pain a lot and permanently miserable, then maybe its time to let her go. I'm so sorry you're having to think about this.


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## Sugar_and_Spice (12 June 2012)

Damn phone! That should say don't give up until she does, not age does.


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

Horspital isn't an issue, she's not insured but it isn't the money, I mean she's costing me a fortune and I'm having to stable Ben too to keep her company etc so it's not cheap but I can cover that and keep going for quite a while yet, but she couldn't go away, I know she wouldn't be able to deal, that's why Ben hasnt gone as planned to be backed, she would just lose the will to go on and also stress as she'd be on her own stabled an in field, I'd lose that little bit of fight she had going for her  2 months ago, I was riding a show fit (and I mean fit not fat! Lol) horse, and had purchased all new showing stuff, she was riding the best she ever had... She was looking so good she was even made cover girl for my friends equine massage therapy Facebook pg! Now she wouldn't look out of place in a Brooke advert! I'm going to ring the gs people again... If I've moved my mare onto a paddock that's possibly killed her I will never forgive myself


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## ihatework (12 June 2012)

It all sounds incredibly stressful, you have my complete sympathy.

I would get a gastroscope done ASAP rather than trialling drugs, try and definite rule out

Have you pumped strong painkillers in? Would be interesting to see if pain is stopping her eating?

I'm sure bloods would have shown some irregularity but is there any testing available to rule out tumours?

Is it time to have her hospitalised do you think?


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## GoodysMummy (12 June 2012)

huge hugs and healing vibes heading your way!


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## Pearlsasinger (12 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear that there is no real improvement and can't really offer any experience of a similar condition.  But I do wonder if your vet has considered an auto-immune condition.
I know a person whose family was told to prepare for the worst as medics were convinced she must have cancer but in fact was eventually found to have an auto-immune disease, which was successfully treated with steroids.


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## Sugar_and_Spice (12 June 2012)

You don't have any way of knowing in advance if a field has grass sickness in it, so its not your fault.


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## Sparkly Snowdrop (12 June 2012)

Have you tried the FB GS group, there are some really knowledgable people on there?

https://www.facebook.com/groups/219636401382141/


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

Yeah, it's just hard seeing her lose her sparkle in her eyes, if it does come to the unthinkable I have my plan so I don't have to think about it now! 
Gorse!!! That's a good idea, I forgot its a natural antidepressant! And we have bags of nettles too, on the plus side I've found some really nice haylage she loooves, she's almost eating two cakes a night!!!!


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## Crazydancer (12 June 2012)

Oh no! I've been following progress and sorry to hear she hasn't improved.  Big fat hugs. With fingers crossed. xxx


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## Littlelegs (12 June 2012)

Sorry no advice or help but really hoping you find a cause soon that's treatable xxx


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## amandap (12 June 2012)

I'm so sorry, it's the worst thing when you have no idea what is going on. 
All I can suggest is a second opinion. 

Sending lots of healing vibes and strength. x

ps. I take it her temp is normal. Blood worms? Liver fluke?
Just brainstorming...


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

Thank you guys, snowdrop thats great thank you! I know if it's gs I have no way of knowing re field, it won't mean I won't hate myself though  ps yes we have thought of that which is why we have been talking about possible next steps of 3 days dext, followed by prednisolone for a month. 
I hate work, we debated a scope but decided that gastroguard would be the best course of action because if she had stomach ulcers we would see an improvement, and hind gut can't be scoped anyway. She was on bute in the first week with no
Major difference although to be honest I gave her a dose tonight because she has been tucked up for days... Could just be how she looks now without her muscle, but thought id see how she feels tomorrow after a night on bute! With regards to Horspital she won't survive there... I can absolutely say that her best bet is to stay where she is with Ben, this isn't arrogance, she'd break her heart and she's never been great to stable, she is only relaxed when he is with her


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## pookie (12 June 2012)

Oh god, I'm so sorry Queenbee  I, too, have been following Ebony's story and have been keeping everything crossed she'd pick up or you'd get a diagnosis. All is not lost yet...I'm a big believer in people knowing when they should make the unthinkable decision and it's usually evident in how they write. I really don't get that impression from your OP - you sound down and frustrated and a bit lost (totally understandably), but not as if you deep down know the time has come.

We're in a similar though not as drastic situation with one of our cats who started losing weight rapidly about 9 months ago. She looks like something from a welfare appeal but we've managed to find no diagnosis so far. Like you I'm a fixer (not helped by being a scientist)...there's an answer, it's just a matter of time and using the right diagnostic techniques. You'll get there ((hugs))


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## be positive (12 June 2012)

I am sorry she is not improving, its such a worry when they will not eat and are almost fading away in front of you.
Try to get her interested in anything you can think of, gorse is a great idea, nettles, willow is a natural asprin, hawthorn, cleavers, if you can take her for a walk and see what she likes to pick at, they seem to know what is good, then you could get more for her to eat when inside.
Contact some feed companies, most will send out samples you could try, at this stage it really does not matter too much if it is chopping around, just eating is what is required.
I nursed one poor boy, which we sadly lost, I made a mix of eggs and honey which he took, it got quality protein into him at a time he was eating nothing except grass which in mid winter was not ideal there was not much around so he came on my lawn each day.
The cushings test should be back soon , my pony did drop weight as fast as your girl but was diagnosed quickly, she will take a while to pick up and prascend can put them off their food for a while.

Vibes coming your way.


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## Elsbells (12 June 2012)

(((((hugs)))))


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

1st vet visit she had a slight temperature, but it's been normal for ages now, heart and resps good, liver fine, bloods normal, only indicate an inflamatory response, protein electropherisis should have indicated if it was cancer... Nothing abnormal there!! All I know for sure is that high levels of cortisol cause proteins in muscle to breakdown, hence she has rapid muscle wastage, high cortisol can be as a result of cushings or a stress reaction but my idea is to treat the cortisol regardless of cushings results because if I can get it down then that should stop it attacking the muscles????!!! Sound reasonable? I mean I know I have to identify the cause, but it surely gives her half a chance?!


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## happyhacking:) (12 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Thank you guys, snowdrop thats great thank you! I know if it's gs I have no way of knowing re field, it won't mean I won't hate myself though  ps yes we have thought of that which is why we have been talking about possible next steps of 3 days dext, followed by prednisolone for a month. 
I hate work, we debated a scope but decided that gastroguard would be the best course of action because if she had stomach ulcers we would see an improvement, and hind gut can't be scoped anyway. She was on bute in the first week with no
Major difference although to be honest I gave her a dose tonight because she has been tucked up for days... Could just be how she looks now without her muscle, but thought id see how she feels tomorrow after a night on bute! With regards to Horspital she won't survive there... I can absolutely say that her best bet is to stay where she is with Ben, this isn't arrogance, she'd break her heart and she's never been great to stable, she is only relaxed when he is with her 

Click to expand...

i think they can now scope the hind gut. Think mine had it done today but not sure. Not that it would make any difference if you dont want to put her through it (trust me i know where your coming from) but mine is dreadful to stable and stresses to the point of jumping out or hurting herself so the vets have agreed to keep her sedated for the entire duration of her stay. A big ask i know but there is no way i would have left her there without them promising to keep her sedated.


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## pootleperkin (12 June 2012)

Hi Queenbee,

Sorry to hear no improvement; it really doesn't sound like grass sickness. You and the vet would know......she would have been very depressed when she first contracted it and continue to be so, looked colicky, then stayed that way. She would be shaking and sweating with a high heart rate and standing like a laminitic horse, feet tucked underneath like she was on a ball. Nose would be running and the mucus very tacky, peeing very yellow and the gut really would be compromised....very little poo or gut sounds. It's a while now since Gully had it, but I remember how clear the symptoms were - I diagnosed it ahead of the vet and I hadn't seen it before. You can read the account I wrote for the EGS fund here http://www.grasssickness.org.uk/uploads/documents/Gulliver EGS account 08.pdf    as it fully describes the symptoms, so might be of some help.

Of course you can't rule out a variant of it, though I would be surprised; GS is a disease of the sympathetic nervous system as a whole, most affecting the gut and the sufferers lose weight as the gut simply isn't functioning, i.e. pushing food along the digestive tract for absorption to take place. With your horse, it seems that she can get it through the gut, but doesn't take nutrition from it for whatever reason.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about worrying over the paddocks you have had her on - even if it were GS, you wouldn't know. I still have my two graze the same paddock as where Gully was when he caught it - I actually have a feeling it was the hay we fed that caused the problem, as it came from a GS hotspot, but I will never know and won't castigate myself for it.

Chin up - the main thing is she is happy in herself - never give up on an animal until they tell you repeatedly that they aren't happy. If I had given up on Gully, purely because of vet advice (he was continuing to lose weight, but was happier in himself) and the way he looked, he wouldn't be here now. Instead I judged what to do based on his demeanour. Hugs.

PS - did you try the Aloe vera juice, actimel drinks and pulping the feed as I suggested - might just help get extra calories in her. Probiotics could help if the gut flora is imbalanced.


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## Queenbee (12 June 2012)

There is a hedgerow plant that she chomps at every opportunity, tall green, large flat leaves, very succulent, can't remember what it is but I know there are 2 that look similar, one is good and the other bad, I was trying to remember what it is??!! Anyone have any ideas?! If not I'll take a photo tomorrow. I know if I hear the name I'll know it.  Yes I could sen off for some samples, bless her, people keep suggesting this feed and that, but don't seem to get how quickly she goes off them.  She started on a bag of fast fibre when she completely refused her old feed, she ate a bag in under a week, so I got 3 more, within the next week shed gone off it! It's so hard  she wolfed down baileys top line mix and mollichaff today, but if it has a bit of fast fibre (tried to sneak some in) she refuses! I tried bananas... Eurgh! I'm going to get another mix or two, I think, I would shove anything down her neck if she'd bleeding eat it! 

Will go on a willow hunt, are we talking the entire branch? Or leaves or what? And eggs cooked I assume??

Pookie: (((hugs))) for you and your cat x


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## pootleperkin (13 June 2012)

They love willow - will mainly eat the leaves, but also young stems too - I have masses of it, would post you some if I could! Have you tried putting vegetable oil into her feeds? Lots of calories for her.


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## pookie (13 June 2012)

What's her red blood cell count like?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Poots, Thank you, yes I know she isnt displaying classic gs, but that's why I was asking... Thinking we may be dealing with a milder variant or something possibly?! Clutching at straws I suppose but you do don't you as time goes on   she's on aloe juice, I won't syringe feed her... I just cant  she isn't having probs swallowing ( although she does have the odd cough) its more a loss of appetite, she gets bored with the taste, her feed is varied, at the mo she has:
Sugar beet
High protein pellets
Fast fibre
Bailey tl mix
Mollichaff original
Haemavite b plus
Aloe juice
Probiotic (proteinex


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Damn phone!
Since onset!!! 
Gastroguard (just ending)

She's on soaked feed when she will eat it, but she now wants chaff And baileys tl mix and nothing else!!! So that's what she will have.

I tried the gs people today but haven't heard from them


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Pookie: all bloods are normal, lymphocytes?! Very slightly raised.. Indicate body fighting something, 1 protein level raised indicating inflamation, cortisol raised, indicating either cushings or gs or stress reaction, everything else normal!!! So bloody frustrating


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## rhino (13 June 2012)

Have you done a peritoneal tap?


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## FionaM12 (13 June 2012)

I'm so, so sorry to read this.  I had hoped she was picking up.

I have no experience or advice to offer. Just saying I'm thinking of you and your beautiful girl and still hoping for the best. xxxx


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## Dolcé (13 June 2012)

Have you tried grass nuts, soaked until sloppy so they are easy to eat.  I had forgotten about these for years and when we started buying them again I was shocked at just how well they go down. I have to soak them because we have a couple that are prone to choke, and we feed them with sugarbeet and readigrass instead of chaff.  Just a thought, you would be able to get all your supplements in too.


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## pookie (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Pookie: all bloods are normal, lymphocytes?! Very slightly raised.. Indicate body fighting something, 1 protein level raised indicating inflamation, cortisol raised, indicating either cushings or gs or stress reaction, everything else normal!!! So bloody frustrating 

Click to expand...

And yet no diarrhoea? That rules a fair few things out. I'm sure answers to my questions have been posted in other threads so forgive me for asking again - has IBD been ruled out? Has she had an ultrasound?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Pookie, yes, she had oil last week... But didn't like her food with it in! She has never been fussy it's so frustrating!!!  Have managed to sneak about 1 small bottle down her neck though and every little helps! I have a lane about 5 mins walk away, gypsy
Lane (can you guess who live up there?) actually they are a lovely bunch of settled gypsies and I know if I go up and chat they will cut me a load of willow, the chap up there had a 30yr old cob and I caught him going off to rug it up 2 months ago!  x


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## pootleperkin (13 June 2012)

I can understand the straw clutching, don't worry, but as I said, I would hesitate to say that there could be a milder variant without it being a different syndrome all together.

On the positive side, lets really hope it isn't anything to do with GS, as the outlook really wouldn't be good!

I know you want answers, as would I. Must be very frustrating. I can understand you not wanting to syringe feed too, though don't rule it out as a last resort.

The question is obviously why isn't she absorbing her food, but usually has some appetite, albeit for various things. We need the equine version of Dr House around here! 

I'm wracking my brain for ideas.....have you tried contacting David Marlin who used to be based at the Animal Health trust - he is now an independent researcher and has his own range of supplements and has some interest in ulcers - he might be helpful. I did my degree dissertation with him and he is a nice guy. His website is http://www.sciencesupplements.co.uk/ and they have a 'ask a question' form.  Maybe another longshot, but he might have some ideas?


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## pootleperkin (13 June 2012)

I think the GS fund have had a change of staff recently - Joyce who manned the phones and was so helpful has retired - I'm not sure what the crack is now. I'm sure the new nurse would be willing to speak with you though, when she is available.

With all of her symptoms, I would have had a stab at liver disease, but then liver enzymes would show up in the bloods, which you say are normal. Stumped. More hugs.


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## Bikerchickone (13 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear Ebony hasn't improved. I've been following your story on here for a while. 

No idea what to suggest as far as treatment etc but don't know if maybe coolstance copra might help you? It's great for putting on weight and seems to be really tasty, it certainly hides the taste of all the nasty supplements I give my lad so may be worth a try. It fluffs up when wet so has a similar consistency to sugar beet so is easy to eat. 

Really hope she improves soon. Xx


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## asommerville (13 June 2012)

nothing constructive dolly....everything crossed she picks up xxxx


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Rhino no we haven't, vet reckons that she would be in great pain and therefore sweating if this level of inflamation were the case, but I will chat again with  him about it, infact I'm with another vet from the same practice whose tested for two things the other vet said weren't probable so... You never know!

Fi; thank you my love will give ebony big Fiona hug from u x

Pooks: no, no diarrhoea, quite the opposite, she was always a cow pat type of girl! Now her poo looks like its coming out of a tiny pony the pellets are so small! She does about 4 poos overnight and 1 or 2 during day if in, about 3 if out, and they are hard, so she is exhibiting some form of constipation, 

Poots: thank you for that I will contact him, I need as many brains as possible!

I have seriously been considering creating some sort of Facebook page in the last few days with her diary, blood results, all observations, her symptoms just do not seem to fit anything I can find properly... I thought that may be a chance of finding someone who had a horse with the same symptoms and a diagnosis.

I feel bad because I just looked at carrot and spud pics to compare her and it made me feel a tiny bit better


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## dollyanna (13 June 2012)

Keeping everything crossed for you, just wanted to say when my girl was ill I contacted every feed company and just explained that she would only eat something once so could they please send as many samples of anything that they could. I ended up with a pile of small bags of mixes, nuts, chaff, grass within a week or so - they were so helpful. Each day I could just offer her a handful of something, and if she ate it then I gave her the rest of that. Next day would be something different, and so on. 

I was also on a lovely diy yard where everyone had different feeds, and we used to take all the lids off the bins (with permission of course) and let her in to wander round the feed room choosing what she fancied.


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## rhino (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Rhino no we haven't, vet reckons that she would be in great pain and therefore sweating if this level of inflamation were the case, but I will chat again with  him about it, infact I'm with another vet from the same practice whose tested for two things the other vet said weren't probable so... You never know!
		
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It may be worth a try, I've seen a couple tap 'toxic' that weren't in acute discomfort. 

((Hugs)) anyway, fingers crossed for some good news soon x


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Biker chick: I was considering copra a couple of days ago... Hard to get down here but years ago I bought a pallet of it when I had 6 horses to feed, some of them rescues, I know it's wonderful stuff, problem is she won't stay eating anything for very long, I'm buying some barley tomorrow to add to the mix, but I'd probably make it half way through the copra and be left with half a bag, also I remember that it took her a while to get used to the taste of it, when she's picky to begin with I doubt she will eat it 

AS thank you hunny, in fact thank you everyone your suggestions are great keep them coming pls! X 

Does anyone think a fb page would be barking mad or a waste of time?


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## pookie (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Pooks: no, no diarrhoea, quite the opposite, she was always a cow pat type of girl! Now her poo looks like its coming out of a tiny pony the pellets are so small! She does about 4 poos overnight and 1 or 2 during day if in, about 3 if out, and they are hard, so she is exhibiting some form of constipation
		
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What's her water intake like?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Right, willow nettle and gorse hunt tomorrow, convo with vet, talk about tap and bloods were sent off on Saturday!!! Possible Facebook page creation, chat with poots dissertation chappie... Well email him, call gs people again, call every feed company under the sun and go and raid cornwall farmers, they always have samples too!! Busy day tomorrow now! Thank you all! You've scraped me up off the floor of self loathing and pity ( you and a bottle of wine) xxxxx


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Pooks: it was slightly raised for a couple of weeks, she was on one of the large tub trugs (not the huuuuge ones) the ones that take about 4 buckets, and drinking a little less than 2/3 rds which was more than Ben was drinking and normally he drinks more than her and she would only drink about 1/2 max in past, but in the last week that's dropped to more
Normal levels, but to be honest her drinking and urinating were pretty ok. On the possible cushings front she is still moulting?! But other than weight loss that's the only real symptom, sure her cortisol is high but it dropped a bit after the surpression test leaving the lab confused?!


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## Amaranta (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			There is a hedgerow plant that she chomps at every opportunity, tall green, large flat leaves, very succulent, can't remember what it is but I know there are 2 that look similar, one is good and the other bad, I was trying to remember what it is??!! Anyone have any ideas?! If not I'll take a photo tomorrow. I know if I hear the name I'll know it.  Yes I could sen off for some samples, bless her, people keep suggesting this feed and that, but don't seem to get how quickly she goes off them.  She started on a bag of fast fibre when she completely refused her old feed, she ate a bag in under a week, so I got 3 more, within the next week shed gone off it! It's so hard  she wolfed down baileys top line mix and mollichaff today, but if it has a bit of fast fibre (tried to sneak some in) she refuses! I tried bananas... Eurgh! I'm going to get another mix or two, I think, I would shove anything down her neck if she'd bleeding eat it! 

Will go on a willow hunt, are we talking the entire branch? Or leaves or what? And eggs cooked I assume??

Pookie: (((hugs))) for you and your cat x
		
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So sorry to read this, have no experience of gs so not able to help, just wanted to give you a hug.

The hedgerow plant you are thinking of is Hedge Parsley, the bad one that looks similar is Hemlock.


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## pookie (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Pooks: it was slightly raised for a couple of weeks, she was on one of the large tub trugs (not the huuuuge ones) the ones that take about 4 buckets, and drinking a little less than 2/3 rds which was more than Ben was drinking and normally he drinks more than her and she would only drink about 1/2 max in past, but in the last week that's dropped to more
Normal levels, but to be honest her drinking and urinating were pretty ok. On the possible cushings front she is still moulting?! But other than weight loss that's the only real symptom, sure her cortisol is high but it dropped a bit after the surpression test leaving the lab confused?!
		
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And her enzyme levels are ok? Exocrine etc? Have her insulin levels been tested? Urine is normal colour and smell?

I'm not a vet by any means (humans are my thing) but the cortisol could easily be a red-herring.


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## Bikerchickone (13 June 2012)

QB I hope the barley helps, I'm afraid I can't think of anything else to suggest but would like to say that you're obviously a lovely owner since it's quite clear that you're doing absolutely everything you can for Ebony. X


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## Mince Pie (13 June 2012)

Queenbee I have a bag of copra in the feed room, I can send you some if you want? I'm so sorry that she isn't picking up but am surprised she is as shiny as she is?


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## Oberon (13 June 2012)

Amaranta said:



			So sorry to read this, have no experience of gs so not able to help, just wanted to give you a hug.

The hedgerow plant you are thinking of is Hedge Parsley, the bad one that looks similar is Hemlock.
		
Click to expand...

Aka Cow Parsley up North.

It's just coming out of it's season now. 

They go mad for it when it's in season.

It's a natural midge repellent.

Hemlock isn't so common to come across, so don't worry about letting her browse for what she takes a fancy to. Horses are pretty good at self medicating. She won't go wrong.

So sorry Ebony not doing so well.

I wish I had any sort of answer or idea.....but I'm stumped 

In the absence of any conclusive findings....it seems as though some sort of pathogen has ravaged her?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Amaranta, thank you that's it!!
Pooks: yes all that is totally normal!
I know cortisol can be due to many things... It's not a cause, it's a by product of something that's going on, but it does affect the protein in  muscle and destroy it and it is at a high level! We are talking about treating symptoms not cause, but without knowing the cause yet it's all we can do!

Bc. Thank you x I will buy ours Cornwall farmers feed supply before I give up and you should see the size of their warehouse   

It does make me laugh that last year people were berating me re ebony for not ( in their eyes) caring about her welfare, I hope they see this isn't the case, I would do anything in my power to secure her health and well being, if I hadnt had her to cling to over the last 4 yrs I would probably have lost myself forever... I owe her everything!


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## pookie (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Pooks: yes all that is totally normal!
I know cortisol can be due to many things... It's not a cause, it's a by product of something that's going on, but it does affect the protein in  muscle and destroy it and it is at a high level! We are talking about treating symptoms not cause, but without knowing the cause yet it's all we can do!
		
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I know, and I'd be doing the exact same thing. Final Q before my brain dribbles impotently from my ears for the evening...what's her coat like? Normal or greasy?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Oberon, that's actually quite interesting, we were talking Compromised immune systems earlier in the thread, and at the beginning of this story I made mention of the fact that she has gone scurfy and half her mane was missing, now she didn't lose it with her rug, it went after her rug came off, I thought mites at one point but no evidence, her tail is fine but it seemed like she had rubbed her mane, she has lots of midges in her field and I was chatting with someone who said when her horse moved to its field (2 fields away) he developed sweet itch) could she have developed some sort of compromised immune system because of midgies?! *straws, clutching?!* 

Bbh yes she has always been shiny but I must admit its quite strange how shiny considering how poorly she is!! She did look rougher a few weeks back but she is constantly rugged to which I think makes her even shinier.

Broke but happy, that sounds fantastic hun let me know how much you want for it x thank you x


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Coat did go ropey but now looking normal and glossy, she's a bit greasy but she's just finishing moulting although she did moult earlier on this year its almost ongoing, she's been moulting for about 2 months solid! It's got a lovely shine now and looks pretty much normal, but I stupidly get scared brushing her.. I'm so it ao gingerly because she is so skinny!


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## Mince Pie (13 June 2012)

Do you want me to send a carrier bag of it? It does swell up when soaked so should do a few days feed then you know if she'll eat it? Don't want anything for it `


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Bbh, that would be amazing Hun, I'm more than happy to give you something for it if you want x I will pm you my address in the morning ( another thing to do on my list lol) you are a star thank you x have used copra before so know to soak it  thank you, thank you thank you!!


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Ah cow parsley is also used to promote healing, treat water retention and stomach problems... Interesting!


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## Oberon (13 June 2012)

Just rolled over in bed and thought - try asking Roger Hatch of Trinity Consultants for advice.

He has an excellent reputation. He may have a 'tonic' for her.

Also you could join the Whole Horse health Yahoo group. Many people and a few vets post on there - you could bounce ideas off them?


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Oberon... If I could bottle you up and sell you I'd be a very rich woman! U always have lots of really useful contacts and links, I'll look into it tomorrow. My dear old computers going to take a pounding!


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## Oberon (13 June 2012)

Spend far too much time mooching online 

eg. I started on cow parsley....moved onto hemlock.....hemlock poisoning......and then all about Socrates 

Good luck. xx


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## Ladydragon (13 June 2012)

Oh bless her...  I've been following your updates and hoping she'd turn the corner a little...



pookie said:



			And her enzyme levels are ok? Exocrine etc? Have her insulin levels been tested? Urine is normal colour and smell?

I'm not a vet by any means (humans are my thing) but the cortisol could easily be a red-herring.
		
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Ditto...  My first thought, outside of cushings, would be pancreatic insufficiency or maybe lymphoma - although high cortisol could help with that...  Perhaps the steroid suppression test will give some clarity...

Has the vet suggested trying Chaste Berry at all to see if it would give the dopamine production a kick and negate some of the cortisol before trying the steroids?

I've got my fingers crossed you're able to get to the bottom of this...  Horribly frustrating when the problem isn't identified so you're unable to do anything that you know will help...


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## Pidgeon (13 June 2012)

Really sorry to hear she's still not right. Re he gs can your vet speak to Liverpool perhaps? My prev horse had worst type, lost lot of weight but no other symptoms until impacted colic, he was eating anything we could tempt him with and still pooing and weeing a little. Lost him 5 days after colic surgery as took a turn for the worse and I had him pts. Hugs


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## LauraWheeler (13 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to read this. Lots of helpful advice already and I have nothing to ad realy except send you some massive (((((((((hugs)))))) and Ebony some (((((((((((vibes))))))))). I know how hard it is to watch your belovid horse so ill and not knowing whats wrong. Don't feel guilty (although I also know how hard that is) you are doing all you can for her and she will know that. I realy hope you get some answers soon and she starts to improve. xx


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## Ibblebibble (13 June 2012)

so Sorry QB to see that the lovely Ebony is still poorly, i have no ideas i'm afraid but wanted to offer you a big ((((hug))))


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## touchstone (13 June 2012)

I've no suggestions to offer either I'm afraid, but I hope that you get some resolution soon, it is so stressful when they seem to turn a corner and then go backover again. 
I hope you get some resluts soon. xx


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## Paddy Irish (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Ah cow parsley is also used to promote healing, treat water retention and stomach problems... Interesting!
		
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HI QB , just be careful about the cow parsley as it does have similar flowers etc to water hemlock and giant hogweed both of which CAN be poisonous but mostly towards the root end , but if your mare is sensitive to it then it maybe worth having agood look around the paddock . We have hemlock all down the river bank towards Gweek and when you look it's every where damp and watery , i'm not sure where you went after you left SB's but if you need me to pop and see you and have a good stank round the fields i would be more than happy to..
Al
P.s on the hospital note , i can so understand your reservations for not sending your mare in , but believe me Paddy's currently in hosp at somerset , and i can honestly say that the team up there is amazing and he's being treated like royalty - google Langford vets services , north somerset and look at the vet team - my vet is evita brusshers and she's at the top of the equine vet tree - amazing woman.


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## Oddjob's Wife (13 June 2012)

Sending loads of love to you and Ebony.  Am crying with you - it's horrible.  She's lucky to have you, however this turns out for you both xxxxx


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## Sussexbythesea (13 June 2012)

I'm not surprised you wan't to cry - what a horrible place to be in.

Don't be afraid to ask for second opinions or to get a referral to a vet that specialises in this type of problem if your vet has run out of ideas. Sometimes vets are reluctant to admit defeat but other vets might have fresh ideas or different expertise. 

In the meantime I don't know if you've tried Equijewel or Omega Rice balancers as can give lots of calories in small amounts - however they are expensive and as she is very picky its a lot of money if she won't eat it, You may be able to get samples though.

Wish I could be more helpful - wishing you all the best and hope Ebony improves soon.


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Lady d: We have the surpression results... High at night, little lower the following morning, it's the ACTH results we are waiting on. No vet hasnt reccomended chaste berries but I bought some last week, they arrived on Monday, so she's only just gone on them (forgot to put them in the list!) hopefully this will help a bit.

Thank you all for your hugs and best wishes and ideas it's overwhelming x

Paddy, it is cow parsley not hemlock although she doesn't eat it constantly she dives for it when I walk her in hand or pop her in a little lane we graze down, she started to dive for it after she got poorly, so I was wondering what it's properties were.  They are just above helston boating lake, on fields that used to belong to penventon farm.


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## leflynn (13 June 2012)

No pearls of wisdom here, just huge hugs and lots of get well soon vibes for you both.

I have everything crossed for you finding whats up with poor Ebony, you're lucky to have each other x


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## Alfami (13 June 2012)

Hi QB.  I just wanted to send you & Ebony my best wishes.  I've been following your posts and I feel your pain.

Like another poster, I think you will just instinctively know if/when the time has come to make a decision.  In the meantime, she has a shiny coat, she calls to you when you arrive and she's still 'with it' enough to worry about where Ben is, so don't give up yet!

I too am a scientist and have some understanding of the medical aspects of this discussion (NOT a vet though!) and also agree that it sounds like some sort of enzyme inbalance/insufficiency OR an inflammatory reactionin her gut.  I am well aware that we can't use examples from other species to draw conclusions, but two years ago my collie suddenly developed exocrine pancreatic insufficieny - he lost over half his bodyweight, lost his appetite entirely and had hard, small poos.  He did recover (despite a similarly traumatic bout of colitis since - which also made him los weight at an incredible rate), but at the time it was touch and go.  He too had raised cortisol levels - we think as a pain response.

The suggestions to let her graze on what she wants to are good ones.  The other thing that occurred to me (because this is what happened to my dog) is is it possible that any of the drugs she's on act as appetite suppressants?  The antibio my dog was on completely killed his appetite - exacerbating his weight loss.

Anyway, enough ramblings!  Good luck with her - I hope it works out.

ps Outshine (Baileys) is very high oil and good for weight gain and my horse LOVES it.  Comes in 10kg bags, pricey but may be worth a go?  Baileys would almost certainly send you a sample if you call them.


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## Elsbells (13 June 2012)

Micronised linseed is full of oil and if you mix it in feed an add a drop of warm water, smell yummy. Other than that small suggestion I'm useless to you.


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## Wagtail (13 June 2012)

So sorry QB. It doesn't look like an ulcers case though to me as I have never known one lose so much weight because of them. Also, she has a shiny coat, and horses with ulcers often don't. She sounds as though she has life left in her yet. She also looks as though she is enjoying the grass. Is she on good grazing?


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## Ruth_Cymru (13 June 2012)

I don't have any helpful advice, but wanted to send you and Ebony my best wishes x x


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## ILuvCowparsely (13 June 2012)

Well all I can pass on is what my friend has gone through from Sept up to the present day.

  Ella was diagnosed with sever Grass Sickness.  She was wasting away in front of  my friend.  She phoned rang GS company etc and vets.  Tried so many different feeds and supplements . She could not keep her in as she hates it and would get more stressed.  She( my friend)  was up at yard late and early mornings nursing trying to tempt  her to eat even a morsel of food. 



 Many months nursing  upsets thinking she would die) up to present day  she is now in lean condition  all thanx to  * FAST FIBRE*   tHE only  thing she would eat and will eat to this day.  My friend has actually sat on her now.

 It was a case of finding what she would eat and nursing with Ella.  Hope your we one improves.


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## Wagtail (13 June 2012)

All our horses went mad for alpha beet. I stopped using it as it was so messy, but have never known a feed that was so popular with all the horses.  mine wouldn't eat fast fibre once they had had it for a few days.


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## Queenbee (13 June 2012)

Hi all,

Excused the very rushed reply, im running late for the stables...

I have so far got 9 feed companies donating samples (allen and Page are even giving her a bag of feed AND samples) and BBH sending some copra, thank you!!

Wagtail, her coat wasnt always looking so dandy, its only recently got its shine back, although we stopped gastroguard today as we reached the same conclusion as you.

Alfami: yes we have used outshine in the past, she really liked it, Baileys are sending her some 

Levithian: I spoke to the GS org today and they said that whist she isnt exhibiting classic GS symptoms, not to rule it out as some form of variant, and to keep doing what im doing

Test results back,  not cushings! so still in the dark, she is staying on chaste berries to try and get cortisol down, vet thinks this is a good idea

Vet has already contacted Liverpool with the full history, we expect to hear back by tomorrow.

Next step is referral for scans possible tap and/or steroids, we will decide which we start first or whether we do both at once after hearing back from vets old colleague at Liverpool.


Right m'ducks, you are all being very very fantastic. Im off up to the stables... I shall give your hugs to ebs (and a very well ben!)


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## Oberon (13 June 2012)

At least you still have some options to persue for an answer.

Hope you find her feeling well today.


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## Missy1 (13 June 2012)

My thoughts are with your mare, have you had your vet check her heart?
My friends horse dropped a huge amount of weight over a very short period of time, she like you thought ulcer, grass sickness etc but vet struggled to find out what was causing it and he was so very poorly it was awful to see. 
Finally the vet suggested checking his heart which was enlarged and was failing. It may well be worth speaking to your vet. Best of luck xxx


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## Dab (13 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Thank u x. Ellie the thing is we just don't KNOW what it is, we thought it could be stomach ulcers at one point, which is why  she went on the  gastroguard, at one point we thought it could be worms even though she'd had a bleeding good dose of equest pramox, so he had pancur for 5 days, she's had bute, antibiotics, cushings test... Liver function, in depth blood tests, I'm a fixer, I can always fix something's and solve a problem, if I don't know something I research the answer, eliminate the possibilities and find the cause and fix it.... But I just can't seem to do it!! I mean it's so flucking bad to see buckets and buckets of food go into your horse and her waste away in front of your eyes and just not being able to fix it or stop it... I'm so angry! And I keep asking myself the question when will I stop? I know I may save her yet but I also know that if I can't I will spend my life coming up with 'what ifs' and I don't want to be someone who keeps their horse alive for themselves, never having gone through this before, never having had to make the decision before, I'm becoming acutely aware of how hard it is to know when. My vet and I haven't even said its that time yet, but I can't bear the thought that I may become one of those owners that keeps their horse going for themselves and I can't bear the idea that I may give up on her too soon... I feel very helpless and very lost 

Click to expand...

Hi QB sorry to hear all that you are going through.

I havent been through all of the answers so you or somebody might have already discussed this, but with all the bute, heavy dose wormers, lack of weight gain, have you considered *hindgut* ulcers? GG wont touch those bug*ers, and bute, wormers and too much or changes in feed play havock with the healthy bacteria in the colon, encouraging bad bacteria which then turns the environment acidic and invites ulcers. This leads to weight loss and/or poor doers.

Small feeds are the way forward, with slippery elm and chamomile, a little bran (add water) and a good dose of micronised linseed, plus adlib hay (NOT haylage).

Good luck.

PS I know its difficult because she wont eat properly but be careful with all of the changes in feed, the hindgut needs time to adapt to new feeds - well the healthy bacteria need time to adapt - mess with that and you mess with the bacteria and hey presto hindgut acidious = ulcers = colic = poor doer = weight loss


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## Vixen Van Debz (13 June 2012)

I can't believe the photos: seems so far from the Ebony of the is she/isn't she pregnant mystery! I have no answers, but wanted to say I've been thinking about you and Ebony and I hope you get to the bottom of the problem. She's a lucky mare to have someone so loving and with their head so screwed on. Fingers crossed you get answers and your beautiful healthy mare back soon x


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## m1stify (13 June 2012)

Sorry nothing to add but have been following the story and feel very sorry for you and poor Ebony. Hope you get your answers soon


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## goldenmint (13 June 2012)

Sending you hugs and hope that things pick up for you and ebony soon.

The best feed I have ever used for putting on weight was baileys no.1 but imagine the root problem would need addressing before trying to 'feed up' would work. 

I really, really hope you get some answers and better news soon.


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## Tammytoo (13 June 2012)

First of all huge cyber hugs for you both, it really doesn't seem fair.

Following on from DAB's comments about hindgut ulcers, there is a clip on YouTube about a non invasive way of diagnosing ulcers, Equine Ulcer Diagnosis by Mark de Paolo.  He is an american vet and, as usual, the americans seem to be ahead of us in lots of "horsey" things.

If Ebony is seeking out herbs and flowers, like Cow Parsley, let her eat them.  Animals know instinctively what is good for them.  Don't worry about her accidently eating Hemlock, they won't touch it.

It's heartbreaking when you can't fix your horse, but she is so lucky to have an owner who is moving heaven and earth to help her.


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## Parker79 (13 June 2012)

Nothing to add except for the fact I am sorry to hear she is so unwell. I hope shepicks up soon and you have some answers. Sounds like you are fighting hard for her


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## Emilieu (13 June 2012)

Nothing useful to say at all but just wanted to send huge hugs to both of you. She's lucky to have you xx


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## el_Snowflakes (13 June 2012)

Im so so sorry, this must be so scary for you. Sending every ounce of positivity your way. Shes a lovely mare & i SOOO want to see pics of her having come through this. If I were you I would have her taken in and thoroughly investigated. Fingers crossed- please keep us posted on how shes doing x

ETA: Another poster has just started a thread about kidney failure.apparently their horse experienced rapid weight loss.........just a suggestion??


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## rockysmum (13 June 2012)

So sorry to read about your girl.  I'm no expert and have no suggestions on whats wrong with her.

Just a suggestion for weight gain.  My oldie dropped a lot in winter and got colic caused by a tooth it appears.  I tried all sorts to put it back but just couldn't get the calories high enough.  I was thinking it was near the end.

I managed to turn it around (before the grass grew and helped) by feeding raw molasses.  It improved his appetite, he dives on his food now, has gained weight and his coat is beautiful.  He will also eat any kind of food when the molasses are added which is useful.

I do know the risks, but he's 36 and never had lami so I took the chance.  It has paid off so far.

He also loves cow parsley and it has not done him any harm.  His other favourite if we can find them is dandelions.


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## mjcssjw2 (13 June 2012)

well i have read most of the responses! but at the beginning my thought was  chronic GS I am afraid.
Don't know why as I have never had one with it.
One of the girls at the farm had a horse with a mild form, it never sweated and always did some pooh's, but was very fussy about eating and drinking and lost lots of weight, if you held the bucket up for him he took water better, She did like you and tried allsorts of feed, he liked bananas in fact some days it was all he would have.
He did keep getting a swollen tummy and kept having to have excess fluid drained from his stomach.
He did recover and is still going strong (26)
I did wonder if she should be having bute is there is any suspicion of ulcers as its a NSAID and is contra indicated. my horse had to have metacam instead.
Is she on any pre or probiotics? or live yogurt.
Sorry you are having these terrible problems and have everything crossed for you. Will give this some more thought. Have you tried asking topspec for advice and samples? Nicola I think it is is very knowledgable.


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## BeckyMason97 (13 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear about your mare, I can't imagine what you're going through.

I'm not much help but have you tried feeding her different fruit and veg? I would expect you've tried it but what about turnips? Mine like pears too. Have you tried a horslyx? It would at least be something to get vitamins and things into her, my lot love them. My pony loves bananas but my other three won't touch it, think the texture is too strange for them. You could maybe try syringing molasses into a turnip and sticking polos into the side, something that might take her fancy and give her something to play with?


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## KVH (13 June 2012)

I haven't read through all the replies, but has the vet suggested stomach tumours at all?
Best wishes to you and Ebony, know what you're going through.


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## Tiffany (13 June 2012)

So sorry to hear Ebony is still ill, I'm not surprised you need to cry. Can't really offer any advice so sending ((((healing vibes)))) for Ebony and a massive ((((hug)))) for you.

Fingers crossed she starts to improve.


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## HappyNeds (13 June 2012)

I'm sorry but I don't have any helpful advice (I wish I did), but I've been following your thread and wanted to send you and Ebony my best wishes and a big hug xxx


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## brighteyes (13 June 2012)

Another one here thinking chronic GS. If so, it's a long haul. Other than that, my only thoughts is some really weird malabsorption thing. You have my absolute sympathy and good wishes for her to turn the corner and soon.

I looked at your 'feed list' and everything I was going to mention is on it plus lots more. Have you checked there are no imbalances and counter productive ingredients? If it's a case of high value fibre, I'm another fan of Fibre (or Alpha) Beet.


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## JenHunt (13 June 2012)

QB I'm so sorry to hear Ebony isn't well, especially after your last summer! - do you think it could be related to that?

another suggestion for weight gain feeds is Sunlustre, which is an extruded full fat soya meal. It smells like digestive biscuits and it's really easy to mix into feeds. worth a try. if you can't get hold of that then MMF who make speedibeet do a micronised full fat soya which is almost as good.

could it be a very aggressive virus perhaps?


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## Sugar_and_Spice (13 June 2012)

Have you tried Spillers food? their Slow Response Energy Cubes kept weight on mine in the winter when there was poor grazing and he lived out. There's more fibre content in it than in a lot of low energy cubes, even though Response is a competition food.


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## ozpoz (13 June 2012)

so sorry to hear of your poor mare.

I found that pure apple juice concentrate(from health food shops) was the magic feed bucket add on when I had a similar situation. it's a thick syrup, and I used it without diluting, just mixed in with a dollup on top.

I really hope it all turns around for you both soon. Keep on doing your best - she sounds lucky to have an owner like you!


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## pootleperkin (13 June 2012)

If you are still thinking there is a worry of GS, then get your vet to test with phenylephrine - see link:

http://www.grasssickness.org.uk/egsf-page.aspx?pageID=44

easy test to do and might shed some light.

How's she doing today?


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## Nugget La Poneh (13 June 2012)

Have the vets swabbed for things like salmonella? Uncommon, but possible?

Hopefully the further tests/scans will give you an answer, to me it sounds almost if there is a blockage somewhere?

Hope you get some answers xx


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## Mince Pie (14 June 2012)

Just had a thought, didn't Catembi have a similar problem with her old horse? May be worth having a look through her old threads to see if it's something similar?


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

Sorry been busy all evening so just seen all these responses! Absolutely shattered and a wee bit pished!!! So will respond in full to you  all in the morning, Ebs is doing well though and still chomping on food!


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## FionaM12 (14 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			Sorry been busy all evening so just seen all these responses! Absolutely shattered and a wee bit pished!!! So will respond in full to you  all in the morning, Ebs is doing well though and still chomping on food! 

Click to expand...

Oh, that's a nice post to read as I'm about to go off to bed.  Will look forward to news in full, but glad you're feeling more hopeful. Nnight. xx


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## Trinity Fox (14 June 2012)

Just read this glad she is eating, good to hear.


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## Parker79 (14 June 2012)

I hope you are both doing ok this morning...was great to hear she was chomping last night.


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

First of all, bare with me... Im responding in 2 posts because HHO has just told me my response is waaaaay to long! 



Dab said:



			Hi QB sorry to hear all that you are going through.

I havent been through all of the answers so you or somebody might have already discussed this, but with all the bute, heavy dose wormers, lack of weight gain, have you considered *hindgut* ulcers? GG wont touch those bug*ers, and bute, wormers and too much or changes in feed play havock with the healthy bacteria in the colon, encouraging bad bacteria which then turns the environment acidic and invites ulcers. This leads to weight loss and/or poor doers.

Small feeds are the way forward, with slippery elm and chamomile, a little bran (add water) and a good dose of micronised linseed, plus adlib hay (NOT haylage).

Good luck.

PS I know its difficult because she wont eat properly but be careful with all of the changes in feed, the hindgut needs time to adapt to new feeds - well the healthy bacteria need time to adapt - mess with that and you mess with the bacteria and hey presto hindgut acidious = ulcers = colic = poor doer = weight loss
		
Click to expand...

Hi, yes we have considered this, the bute was in the very first week, as were the antibiotics the wormer, following that she came finished her course of antibiotics and wormers and we stopped the bute while we trialled her on Gastroguard for a fortnight, since there was absolutely no improvement during this time I have now popped the bute back into her for a couple of nights, there was a period (right at the begining) when she gained a bit of weight and during this time she was on bute so I thought i may as well give it a go while we are in between treatments.  

I have thought of hind gut ulcers and one of the things that we are going to trial is egusin, for this very reason, but we can only logically trial one theory at a time and see if it works... its a process of elimination and dont want her to be on loads of treatments and not know which one is working, we have guarded the 'good bacteria as much as possible' she is on double dose of proteinex probiotic and has been since the very begining.

I hear what you say re the changes of feed, but gradual changes are not an option, only the other week she was wolfing down fast fibre, now if you try and sneak a spoonful into her feed she wont eat any of it, so the rule book is out the window, its a case of whatever she will eat she gets, its all we can do for her.



elsazzo said:



			Im so so sorry, this must be so scary for you. Sending every ounce of positivity your way. Shes a lovely mare & i SOOO want to see pics of her having come through this. If I were you I would have her taken in and thoroughly investigated. Fingers crossed- please keep us posted on how shes doing x

ETA: Another poster has just started a thread about kidney failure.apparently their horse experienced rapid weight loss.........just a suggestion??
		
Click to expand...

thank you, all kidney function is normal though, fluid intake and output are normal so its not kidneys


rockysmum said:



			So sorry to read about your girl.  I'm no expert and have no suggestions on whats wrong with her.

Just a suggestion for weight gain.  My oldie dropped a lot in winter and got colic caused by a tooth it appears.  I tried all sorts to put it back but just couldn't get the calories high enough.  I was thinking it was near the end.

I managed to turn it around (before the grass grew and helped) by feeding raw molasses.  It improved his appetite, he dives on his food now, has gained weight and his coat is beautiful.  He will also eat any kind of food when the molasses are added which is useful.

I do know the risks, but he's 36 and never had lami so I took the chance.  It has paid off so far.

He also loves cow parsley and it has not done him any harm.  His other favourite if we can find them is dandelions.
		
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 she ate the YOs baby willows last night  PMSL he was mortified until I told him she was obviously self medicating and he then gave her a scratch and a pat and said they would grow back



mjcssjw2 said:



			well i have read most of the responses! but at the beginning my thought was  chronic GS I am afraid.
Don't know why as I have never had one with it.
One of the girls at the farm had a horse with a mild form, it never sweated and always did some pooh's, but was very fussy about eating and drinking and lost lots of weight, if you held the bucket up for him he took water better, She did like you and tried allsorts of feed, he liked bananas in fact some days it was all he would have.
He did keep getting a swollen tummy and kept having to have excess fluid drained from his stomach.
He did recover and is still going strong (26)
I did wonder if she should be having bute is there is any suspicion of ulcers as its a NSAID and is contra indicated. my horse had to have metacam instead.
Is she on any pre or probiotics? or live yogurt.
Sorry you are having these terrible problems and have everything crossed for you. Will give this some more thought. Have you tried asking topspec for advice and samples? Nicola I think it is is very knowledgable.
		
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Hi, thats interesting about the GS, shes good with her water but as youve read a flipping nightmare over feed, I tried bananas the other day 'Queen Bee was NOT amused' 
To be honest even though we are not completely ruling out hind gut ulcers we are far more inclined to think it is some malabsorption syndrome or GS, she isnt nearly tetchy enough when you palpate her... infact not really at all and the sheer rapidity of the weight loss is bleeding shocking, more than you'd normally expect, that combined with the lack of response to the pressure points for external diagnosis doesnt really lend itself to ulcers... although as i said, if the other more possible diagnoses dont come through then once again i will look into egusin.

She is on probiotics (proteinex) and I spoke with topspec yesterday they are sending me some samples they were fab


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

BeckyMason97 said:



			I'm so sorry to hear about your mare, I can't imagine what you're going through.

I'm not much help but have you tried feeding her different fruit and veg? I would expect you've tried it but what about turnips? Mine like pears too. Have you tried a horslyx? It would at least be something to get vitamins and things into her, my lot love them. My pony loves bananas but my other three won't touch it, think the texture is too strange for them. You could maybe try syringing molasses into a turnip and sticking polos into the side, something that might take her fancy and give her something to play with?
		
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she has carrots and the odd apples, she would normally have a sweede but she cant be bothered with the hassle of chasing it around the floor!  I even tried blending carrots up but she still wouldnt eat her feed, so she gets them separately as a treat


KVH said:



			I haven't read through all the replies, but has the vet suggested stomach tumours at all?
Best wishes to you and Ebony, know what you're going through.
		
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Hi, another thing that is semi in the back of our mind, although the one thing that we struggle with its the rapidity and the acute nature of her weight loss in the first week... if it was due to a tumour we would expect her have continued to decline with speed if it were a tumor, so we havent completely ruled it out, but there are things that make us question this as a diagnosis.



brighteyes said:



			Another one here thinking chronic GS. If so, it's a long haul. Other than that, my only thoughts is some really weird malabsorption thing. You have my absolute sympathy and good wishes for her to turn the corner and soon.

I looked at your 'feed list' and everything I was going to mention is on it plus lots more. Have you checked there are no imbalances and counter productive ingredients? If it's a case of high value fibre, I'm another fan of Fibre (or Alpha) Beet.
		
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BE, those are exactly the two that i think are the strongest possibilities.  

With regards to the feeds, yes there is a lot there, but she doesnt have it all in one day  she has what she wants to eat that day, last week it was fast fibre, protein pellets, protinex and haemavite b plus, this week she wont touch FF, so its mollichaff (not my choice.. hers!) and topline build up mix proteinex and haemavite b plus (and now chaste berries for helping to lower the cortisol) Haemavite is full of b vitamins, and is really boosting her, I try and make sure that she has a high calorie feed and a high fibre, her probiotic and her blood tonic although she hates the berries so im thinking of grinding them up and mixing them with puréed carrot and syringing them in... It looks a lot, but thats only because she keeps going off her feeds



JenHunt said:



			QB I'm so sorry to hear Ebony isn't well, especially after your last summer! - do you think it could be related to that?

another suggestion for weight gain feeds is Sunlustre, which is an extruded full fat soya meal. It smells like digestive biscuits and it's really easy to mix into feeds. worth a try. if you can't get hold of that then MMF who make speedibeet do a micronised full fat soya which is almost as good.

could it be a very aggressive virus perhaps?
		
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Yeah, could be a virus... in which case it must just run its course... we dont think its related to her ballooning, but we did discuss the possibility, she has always ballooned (although that was the worst) shes always had a rumbly acidic tummy... always been a stresser, which is why we thought it may be stomach ulcers at one point.

Thanks for the suggestions 



Sugar_and_Spice said:



			Have you tried Spillers food? their Slow Response Energy Cubes kept weight on mine in the winter when there was poor grazing and he lived out. There's more fibre content in it than in a lot of low energy cubes, even though Response is a competition food.
		
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Hi, what we are looking for is really high calorie, high protein food, on the premiss that if it is malabsorption or  GS (which are the 2 most likely now) this is the best treatment, if the stomach/gut absorbtion is compromised, and only working at say 25% efficiency we want what it absorbs to pack as much of a calorific punch as possible, balancing that with fibre and good forage and a probiotic to maintain the best possible gut function.



ozpoz said:



			so sorry to hear of your poor mare.

I found that pure apple juice concentrate(from health food shops) was the magic feed bucket add on when I had a similar situation. it's a thick syrup, and I used it without diluting, just mixed in with a dollup on top.

I really hope it all turns around for you both soon. Keep on doing your best - she sounds lucky to have an owner like you!
		
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Hi, yeah i did think of something like this but I am wary of using something like this because of acidity, I dont want to add to the acidity levels in the stomach.



pootleperkin said:



			If you are still thinking there is a worry of GS, then get your vet to test with phenylephrine - see link:

http://www.grasssickness.org.uk/egsf-page.aspx?pageID=44

easy test to do and might shed some light.

How's she doing today?
		
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Poots, I was talking to the GS woman and she said that while there are these tests, the only really conclusive test is a post mortem... Ebs could test negative on this and still have GS, also, there is nothing more that I could be doing for her further than the type of care she is having now, Im doing exactly what they would reccomend.



Nugget La Poneh said:



			Have the vets swabbed for things like salmonella? Uncommon, but possible?

Hopefully the further tests/scans will give you an answer, to me it sounds almost if there is a blockage somewhere?

Hope you get some answers xx
		
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No they havent but the symptoms have never matched a possible salmonella diagnosis.  Thank you anyway 



Broke_But_Happy said:



			Just had a thought, didn't Catembi have a similar problem with her old horse? May be worth having a look through her old threads to see if it's something similar?
		
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Dont know, Ill have a peek 

To everyone else who sent well wishes thank you all.

A wee update this morning... madam is out in the lane with a stable rug and a medium weight full neck turnout rug on, the lane has some lovely grass in it and really high hedges, at the moment the weather outside is gloomy, murky windy and downright miserable, but the rain is holding off so she is having a nibble and a leg stretch.  This morning we had forgotten what we were supposed to do with haylage and food... 'YOU EAT IT YOU STOOOOOPID FOOL!!' and about half her nights quota of hay was left in her stable and her breakkie went untouched.  I am not too worried though, she is having a tired day today, but to be fair, even her tired days are better than her good days during her first week of being poorly.  And Last night as I said she ate all her tea, and I then topped her up again before I went with a big bucket for the night and that was gone this morning, so this is just a blip.  Plus Rowan Barbary feed samples arrived today so im going to add one of these to her food in a bit and see if this helps, there is a really nice herby one (solution mash) its got mints and fenugreek in it and smelly lurrrrrvely... if she doesnt want it I may munch it down myself


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## Oberon (14 June 2012)

My Tank is very fussy about feeds. He was born in deepest, darkest Blackburn and he likes grass and haylage and doesn't do 'foreign food'.

But he went absolutely mad for the Solution Mash.


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## happyhacking:) (14 June 2012)

Mine has just come back from Rossdales. Similar sort of issue but not exactly. It has turned out that mine has arthritis in the joint that is below the tongue just under the guttural pouch. So she is going to have to have a section of bone removed on a few months time.

However she has in the meantime come home on bute but due to the number of drugs she is on and a couple of abnormalities in her gut she has also been put on cytotec tablets to ward of gastric ulcers ect. They are not actually licences for use in horses yet  but the vets think that it is worth the potential risks to get some weight on her.


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## Nightmare before Christmas (14 June 2012)

Knew a pony that sounded slightly like this (I dont know your full story), this pony had liver issues in the end from suspected ragwort poisoning that would have happened years before, but showed no signs. He also had suspected cushings.

Glad your horse seemed better last night (if I read posts right). Sending wellness vibes your way right now  I cant really offer any advise or help really


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## Dab (14 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			she has carrots and the odd apples, she would normally have a sweede but she cant be bothered with the hassle of chasing it around the floor!  I even tried blending carrots up but she still wouldnt eat her feed, so she gets them separately as a treat

Click to expand...

You might want to reconsider feeding carrots and apples at all if it is an ulcer issue - difficult to do if she really loves them.....


.


Queenbee said:



			...And Last night as I said she ate all her tea, and I then topped her up again before I went with a big bucket for the night and that was gone this morning, so this is just a blip.  Plus Rowan Barbary feed samples arrived today so im going to add one of these to her food in a bit and see if this helps, there is a really nice herby one (solution mash) its got mints and fenugreek in it and smelly lurrrrrvely... if she doesnt want it I may munch it down myself 

Click to expand...

Have you looked at how much hard feed she getting in one sitting, if it is too much then once the stomach is full the over-fill will just pass straight through and into the gut (partially digested) where it will cause problems. I think it takes about 1 hour for the stomach to empty properly.

Good luck and i hope you find out what the problem is soon.


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

DAB, to be fair, we know there may be a slight possibility that its HG ulcers, but are more certain that it isnt, when I say she has carrots and apples, she has them occasionally this week she had about 4... a treat when someone came to see her, she has had no apples for probably 2 weeks and then it was about 2 in one day... so its really not overload city  

With regards to hard feed she is getting 2/3 stubbs scoop in each meal - now up to 4 meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner and night time bucket) 1 scoop of fibre in her B,L,D and 3 scoops of fibre in  her night time feed which she grazes on throughout the night.

We are taking her management very seriously and the structure and content of her diet is planned to provide the best possible for her.   But it is a logistical nightmare


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## Oberon (14 June 2012)

Breast feeding an infant sounds easier


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

Oberon said:



			Breast feeding an infant sounds easier 

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Lol! Its a good job I Love her,  My uncle is a butcher in an abbatior, we were discussing the otherday that she is no longer cost effective for burger meat as it would probably cost more to kill her than what youd make from the meat on her bones  She could be the brooke charities pin up girl

But damn me if she didnt get the energy up yesterday evening to boot ben one over her favourite piece of grass, he had the audacity to try and kick her too and I was sooooo  at him and cheered her on for her little display of energy


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## FionaM12 (14 June 2012)

Oberon said:



			Breast feeding an infant sounds easier 

Click to expand...

I found breast feeding mine very easy indeed. Fed a few friends' babes too. 

Or... were you taliking about horse infants?  I've never done that, honest...


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

hi all, madam was very vocal today, but lacking energy  She is now all warm and tucked up in bed, she turned her nose up at her baileys topline and mollichaff, so I tried one of the Rowan and barbary mashes (we were not amused!) so I hand fed her some high protein pellets and some topline mix and she ate about 1/2 a scoop, she then accepted a bowl of plain mollichaff (about 2 scoops) she is in now with her haylage and a big bin of hand picked grass, I mixed more chaff in with the food she refused and left it in there overnight... hopefully this will become more interesting to her and will be gone by tomorrow.

Weight tape is 390kg which is a drop from the 402-408 that she has consistantly been at, this was following coming in from the grass too   Ive now had this reading twice out of the last 3 readings which is worrisome  

No news back from the vets but looking at her at the moment, well today I really thought to myself that I believe that whatever I do, Im going to end up losing her, and if its malabsorption syndrome then a course of steroids are her only chance but the prognosis with MS is not good, recovery is very rare, and if it is chronic GS we are again weeks down the line and the weight is creeping down, not up.

Thats not to say Im drawing the line, Im not, I will keep her going for as long as she shows me she wants to, but I really do feel like it is a case of nursing her until 'that day' comes.  Im going to upload a few pics from tonight.  she doesnt actually look that different to the naked eye than in the pics earlier in this thread, but these were taken inside her stable and you can actually 'see' better, what she looks like.


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## Bertolie (14 June 2012)

QB I am so sorry to hear about Ebony and your struggle to get her better. I have everything crossed that you can find an answer. Big hugs for you and lots and lots of healing vibes for Ebony. Please keep us updated. X


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## Dab (14 June 2012)

Everything totally crossed for a positive outcome.


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## mcnaughty (14 June 2012)

A horse at my old yard went downhill rapidly last summer - he was a purebred Fresian.  Sorry to say it was a form of lymphoma in the end but they tried everything including gastroguard. He had terrible fluid retention in his legs as well as the drastic weight loss.

Sorry - v sad for you and your mare.


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

here we go, be prepared to feel sick, I do


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## Moggy in Manolos (14 June 2012)

Oh QB, I am so sorry, must be very hard for you. Sending your horsey lots of *good vibes* and a *hug* for you


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## Regandal (14 June 2012)

Oh Lord - I've been following your thread with interest.  I'd no idea she was so thin.  Sending you & horse lots of love.  XX  M


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

Regandal said:



			Oh Lord - I've been following your thread with interest.  I'd no idea she was so thin.  Sending you & horse lots of love.  XX  M
		
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I know, its been really hard to get photos of what she really looks like, the shadows and shapes get distorted in photos so easily and photos end up adding weight... this is the first time the pics have actually really shown her how she is, the lighting inside was much better to illustrate this.


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## Parker79 (14 June 2012)

Oh bless her...so sorry she is struggling Queenbee. I really really hope the vets can start to help you. When are they coming next?


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

Well, we are awaiting a second opinion from liverpool, as soon as the vet has that he is going to call me (we had hoped it would be today, so probably tomorrow) and we will arrange the next step, so they could be out as soon as tomorrow.


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## nativepony (14 June 2012)

Poor girl, I'm so sorry 

Really hope you get some positive news and truly keeping everything crossed for you both xx


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## angelish (14 June 2012)

sorry to be reading this about your mare 

fingers crossed you can get some answers soon x


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## Milanesa (14 June 2012)

I have been following your threads, so sorry for you. Hope u get some answers tomorrow from the vets. Can she be given iv fluids to help her? There have been so many suggestions to what it could be, you have really done some background on almost every ailment it seems. well done you for staying strong for her I can't imagine how sad you must be feeling. Wishing you and her all the best. Xx


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## meesha (14 June 2012)

I have also been following your thread and tbh had no idea how much she had lost, I am thinking of you both and keeping everything crossed that they find a reason behind it all - even if it is not good news at least you will know what you are facing and can then make a plan of action, you are obviously doing all you can - she is lucky to have you xxxx


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

meesha said:



			I have also been following your thread and tbh had no idea how much she had lost, I am thinking of you both and keeping everything crossed that they find a reason behind it all - even if it is not good news at least you will know what you are facing and can then make a plan of action, you are obviously doing all you can - she is lucky to have you xxxx
		
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TBH, Her normal weight is 500kg, and the weight tape is showing 390kg, but lets face it shes never going to be able to reduce the girth of her ribcage, so we are just going with a guestimate, it may well be less than 390 given all the muscle wastage now


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## Parker79 (14 June 2012)

I truly truly hope she will pull through, you are clearly trying everything and have researched so much.

Hope the vet gets back to you soon, whatever happens you have my utmost respect...I really have all my fingers crossed for you.


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## FionaM12 (14 June 2012)

Heart-breaking photos. Poor Ebony, and poor you.  ((((hugs))))


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## Bright_Spark (14 June 2012)

Poor girl 

I don't have any suggestions I'm afraid but really hope that Ebony picks up and you are able to find a root cause.

Hugs and vibes for you both


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## lachlanandmarcus (14 June 2012)

FionaM12 said:



			Heart-breaking photos. Poor Ebony, and poor you.  ((((hugs))))
		
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This. Have everything crossed for Ebony, it must be terrible to watch her wasting like that. 

Just remember whatever decision you make, if and whenever you make it, will be the right one, because you love her and you want the best for her. She knows that.


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## Surreydeb (14 June 2012)

Just seen your pics truly heartbreaking must be so hard to see her like that. Hope you get to the bottom of it soon and it's curable


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## HaffiesRock (14 June 2012)

Poor poor pony.

I really am sending you all the good luck vibes I can. Keep strong and dont give up xx


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## Pearlsasinger (14 June 2012)

I know from experience how difficult it can be to stay positive while the vets are doing test after test and coming up with nothing useful.
Fingers crossed your results come back tomorrow with a way forward.
Our oldie loves grassnuts mixed with Graze-on, which with a dollop of molasses and some linseed keeps her weight on over the winter and put her weight back after a nasty bout of colic.


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## Emilieu (14 June 2012)

Oh Queenbee. Those are sad photographs to see after following her is she/ isn't she thread just last year. How hard this must be for you. Just hugs. I know you will stay strong for her however long she needs you to x


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## Queenbee (14 June 2012)

I must admit Im struggling today, things are a bit grey, and my mood and emotions are obviously directly linked to how I find her on a day to day basis.

I am just so very touched by the support and genuine caring that i have received from everyone on here and just in general, I've had ((((hugs)))), PMs, ideas, comparison stories, tons of well wishes, nutritional advice and samples from the feed companies who couldn't have been more helpful, texts, offers of help.... Im blown away, and sometimes it makes me even more emotional and I cry, lots, but it has also given me hope, focus and courage and the absolute certainty that even though I feel completely alone in the dark, Im not alone.  No one can wave a magic wand, and as time goes on I really doubt there is going to be a fix no matter what we try (even though we will try as long as she tells me she wants to) but, you are all giving me strength....


Thank you so much and never underestimate what every single one of your posts and PMs means to me.


xx Emily xx


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## Emilieu (14 June 2012)

The not knowing and related up and downs must be very wearing. I sincerely hope that the vets are able to offer you some answers tomorrow. 
Try to get some sleep xxx


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## weeanne (14 June 2012)

Big hugs. she has a strong heart, Im keeping everything crossed xxx


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## be positive (14 June 2012)

I am pleased everyones good wishes are helping you , I know how frustrating it can be when you have no answers to why they are not responding to all you do. 

If only you can find the cause it would be so much easier to deal with, keep plugging away, something or someone may just have the answer, you need to keep asking the questions. 

You are doing really well, keep updating and we will keep thinking of you both and trying to come up with ideas that may help.


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## jhoward (15 June 2012)

em, im devastated for you, i truely hope tje vets come back with some anserrs for you
thinking about you both and preying tour a step nearer toan answer xx


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## touchstone (15 June 2012)

Oh dear, she is in poor way isn't she 


I really hope that you get some answers today QB, it must be exhausting not knowing what is going on, I think once you get resolution whether good or bad it will be a relief from the uncertainty.  Fingers and everything crossed that she can be fixed. xxx


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## JenHunt (15 June 2012)

any news yet QB?
how is she today?


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## meesha (15 June 2012)

Hope today is a better day for you both and you get some answers really soon xx


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

Hi everyone, I was greeted by a couple of heart warming whinneys this morning, one high and impatient (complete with head tossing) from Ben and on low, warm and gentle from my little lady. Overnight she had eaten all the pulled grass I put in, most of her chaff and mix and a good helping of her haylage.  I popped a fresh helping of mollichaff and mix into a bowl and she snuffled it and then just looked over the door so I filled a stubbs scoop about 2/3 full of mix and fed her from that, she ate it all, she then had a scoop of chaff in her bowl, ate all that too apparently she didnt like her feeds mixed today shes out in the grassy lane at the moment having a leg stretch and a nibble of grass.

The vet got back to me too this morning, and basically the best idea is malabsorption syndrome or neoplasia.  The 2 suggestions are, referral for further investigations or prednisolone with the option of referral if this doesn't work.  So we are starting with prednisolone next week on a dose of 1mg per 1kg to begin with.  This should help with appetite and also reduce inflammation which may help allow her to heal, the vet is also looking into some form of low dose daily wormer to ensure that absolutely nothing is able to aggravate any inflammation further.  Of course the malabsorption could be linked to the liver, even though the function tests came back ok, there was one slightly raised result, although not anything glaring we still have the possibility that it could be this,  so she is going on milk thistle just in case her liver is compromised.  Further investigations include scans.  If it is malabsorption, chances of a favourable outcome are slight, recommended treatment is (low dose of wormer daily, feeding roughage and high energy feed, and steroids) this is her only chance.  Neoplasia, is cancer... enough said   So we are assuming that it is the stomach/gut that is causing the problem but know that it could still be the liver, either way, this course of treatment is her absolute best chance, probably her only one, giving her body a boost and the best possible chance to heal itself if that is possible. So we will be starting on our last chance next week. As I said earlier in this thread, I have come to terms with what I think is going to happen but Im damn well going to give her everything Ive got xxx

Thanks for all your lovely messages.


One other question, I know what will happen and how, if/when  'that day' comes and how it will be handled for both Ebony and Ben.  My worry is that he would then have to go out into his field alone   There is no companion he could go in with, although he could look over the gate and see his neighbour, he comes and goes from his field.  On the one hand, I dont want him to leave the yard that he knows, but on the other hand I feel it would be good for him to go to the woman who will back him, as he will have a lot of experienced people around him, lots of other horses, work and handling at a time when it is going to be difficult for both him and me.  I will be with him most days and I have utter faith in the woman he will be with.  It seems a bit drastic to consider sending him away straight after, but a part of me thinks that its the right thing to do, he may feel more isolated and alone if he stays.  I know he's my horse and at the end of the day only I can chose etc, but what are peoples thoughts on this?


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## touchstone (15 June 2012)

Oh QB I'm sorry (((hugs)))).  


As for your other horse, I'd honestly take each day as it comes if the worst happens and see how you feel.   It might be beneficial for him to have some 'chill' time to get used to Ebony not being there before you send him off.  If there is another horse he can see I think I'd wait and see how he goes before deciding to send him.  Plenty of time to get your head round things and make decisions when needs be, no point stressing about it now.

Here's hoping the steroids help, they should at least make her feel better.   xxx


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## Parker79 (15 June 2012)

So sorry you and your lovely girl are having to go through this....really hope she keeps fighting next week and pulls through.

As for your other horse...I think you need to give yourself a break.....I know you are worrying about him but you really have enough on your plate...he may well find this upsetting but you musn't be worrying about this on top of what you are already doing...you really are working hard and worrying yourself sick...try not to add to it.


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

touchstone said:



			Oh QB I'm sorry (((hugs)))).  


As for your other horse, I'd honestly take each day as it comes if the worst happens and see how you feel.   It might be beneficial for him to have some 'chill' time to get used to Ebony not being there before you send him off.  If there is another horse he can see I think I'd wait and see how he goes before deciding to send him.  Plenty of time to get your head round things and make decisions when needs be, no point stressing about it now.

Here's hoping the steroids help, they should at least make her feel better.   xxx
		
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thank you TS, Im aware that with the steroids I will see her perk up, but it may well not be 'fixing' her, so Im not going to let myself get too excited when she does, but Im taking it day by day, and can only hope.  I am also acutely aware that prednisolone can cause constipation, I now need to plan for this, her stools are already very dry, each pellet coming out hard and separate, like a load of big dark brown marbles!  She is pooing regularly and she isnt dehydrated so I need to formulate a plan to deal with this, if she goes on the prednisolone this will make this worse, and I may then be risking colic, which she would not survive given her state.  She is drinking well and urinating well, what are the best things for 'loosening her up'  Im thinking blended fruit and veg?


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## touchstone (15 June 2012)

Feeding oil should help to lubricate things, perhaps even syringing some in if she isn't eating anything?  Sloppy feeds if she will eat them too.  If her food intake is low then that may be why her droppings are like marbles, hopefully the steroids might encourage her to eat more too, which will help her digestive system to get going. 

I really hope that she turns a corner for you, but sadly understand the need to be realstic, I think you're a great owner to do all you are for her, she's very lucky.


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

thank you TS, but to be honest I look at my girl and just cant believe than anyone wouldn't pull out all the stops, you can all see that she means the world to me, but I still couldnt express it adequately in words x   The thing is, that in relative terms she is eating about 3 cakes of haylage a day (max) having about 2 hrs grazing on grass and having 3 feeds during the day (min 1.5 scoops each feed) and 1 big bowl throughout the night, so regardless of her pickyness and lack of appetite, for the most part she is eating a fair amount and even when she wasnt picky and was eating loads, her poo was still like this. Yes, I did think of syringing oil too, hopefully it will help her a bit. Just thought Id post a pic of the goodies that arrived for her today... they have all been fab, Baileys sent half a warehouse!  and 4 samples of their outshine alone  and both dengie and Blue chip  have sent £5 vouchers aswell, and I have a sample of the ultra grass from badminton in there which I really hope she likes, I can start giving her a big bucket of this at night to help with variety and good stuff going in.


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## TPO (15 June 2012)

I hope you get some good news soon.

Looks like a temptating haul you have there and I hope she concurs.

Re if you have to make that decision... I had 2 mares on a rented place and 1 had to be pts. I left my TB in her stable while I took the QH round the back with the vet. Don't want to be graphic but after the deed was done and the vet left I called my dad to come and pick TB up. As I just had the 2 I decided to move TB onto livery so that I could focus on her. It was completely the wrong decision/way of doing things. 

My TB was screaming and completely wired. It was heartbreaking. She then travelled really badly to the new yard and didn't settle at all.

Given my time again I would have arranged for a companion and kept them as a 3 for a week or so before that day. I don't know if that would be an option. If you're thinking of moving horse no.2 and your mare is ok on her own/stabled most of the time I'd perhaps move horse 2 first before the day.

I really hope it doesn't come to that and that your mare turns the corner. Really wishing you both the best x


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## touchstone (15 June 2012)

I'd be pulling out all the stops for her too QB, although I think there are those that wouldn't 

That sample collection looks fab!  Lots to tempt her with there 

Have you mentioned your worries about constipation to the vet?  He might be able to give you (or Ebony rather!) something to help.


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

Thanks guys, yes it looks very tempting, Im sure she will like   Im going to give her outshine, hand fed as a treat, if she has that, at her RDA im hoping that anything additional she eats will be a bonus, we will go from there...



touchstone said:



			I'd be pulling out all the stops for her too QB, although I think there are those that wouldn't 

That sample collection looks fab!  Lots to tempt her with there 

Have you mentioned your worries about constipation to the vet?  He might be able to give you (or Ebony rather!) something to help. 

Click to expand...

Vet knows her stools are, suspect, but she doesnt seem to be straining, and she is regular, so he hasnt been overly worried, although I think this will definately be something to discuss when we start prednisolone.

I was looking at something like sand guard, dont think she'd eat mineral oil


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## Bernster (15 June 2012)

Been following your story and wishing you well from the side lines.  Just wanted to drop in and give you some virtual support.  I'm sure if she should she'd give you a big sloppy hug too and say thank you for all you're doing for her.  And am impressed at those feed companies, that's a nice gesture from them.  Thinking of you and hoping you get some closure soon, in the best way possible for both of you xx


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## FionaM12 (15 June 2012)

I look at the photos and think poor Ebony. But in truth, it's also lucky Ebony, to be so loved and cared for and have an owner who is doing everything humanly possible to help her and keep her comfortable.

The haul from the companies is great  but it's your communication with them which has produced such results.

Look after yourself, Emily, and get plenty of rest when you can. You are an absolute angel to your lovely girl and no-one could do more for an animal. I hope you have lots of love and support around you to help you through this exhausting time. xxx


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## Wagtail (15 June 2012)

Have you tried Pure Feeds?


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## ghostie (15 June 2012)

I'm so sorry that you and poor Ebony are going through all this  Lucky Ebony to have such a caring owner though.

Obviously not a magic cure or anything, but you might like to try offering her dandelion leaves and fresh peppermint or spearmint leaves as they are all good for keeping digesiton moving, boosting the liver and helping horses to absorb nutrients.  If she doesn't want them no doubt she'll leave them as horses are very good at self selecting what they need- but worth offering them perhaps to supplement everything else you're doing for her?


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

Wagtail said:



			Have you tried Pure Feeds?
		
Click to expand...

I havent used them before but they are sending me some samples to try



ghostie said:



			I'm so sorry that you and poor Ebony are going through all this  Lucky Ebony to have such a caring owner though.

Obviously not a magic cure or anything, but you might like to try offering her dandelion leaves and fresh peppermint or spearmint leaves as they are all good for keeping digesiton moving, boosting the liver and helping horses to absorb nutrients.  If she doesn't want them no doubt she'll leave them as horses are very good at self selecting what they need- but worth offering them perhaps to supplement everything else you're doing for her?
		
Click to expand...

I have some mint in the garden, she is having nettle, willow and gorse tips to pick at and i will add dandelion to the list  thank you  



Bernster said:



			Been following your story and wishing you well from the side lines.  Just wanted to drop in and give you some virtual support.  I'm sure if she should she'd give you a big sloppy hug too and say thank you for all you're doing for her.  And am impressed at those feed companies, that's a nice gesture from them.  Thinking of you and hoping you get some closure soon, in the best way possible for both of you xx
		
Click to expand...

Thank you x



FionaM12 said:



			I look at the photos and think poor Ebony. But in truth, it's also lucky Ebony, to be so loved and cared for and have an owner who is doing everything humanly possible to help her and keep her comfortable.

The haul from the companies is great  but it's your communication with them which has produced such results.

Look after yourself, Emily, and get plenty of rest when you can. You are an absolute angel to your lovely girl and no-one could do more for an animal. I hope you have lots of love and support around you to help you through this exhausting time. xxx
		
Click to expand...

Thank you xx  I personally think I am the luckiest person alive whatever the outcome to have ever had a horse like her xx


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## carthorse15 (15 June 2012)

QB fingers crossed for you both!  I feel so sorry for you having been through similar.  Fingers crossed that the Preds do the trick.  

(A wee warning note and certainly don't want to be put a downer on - but have you checked how much the Preds cost with the vet???    I know you would do anything for your girl, but I was trully shocked at what I was charged.

Take care. X


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## SpottedCat (15 June 2012)

I've just seen this. 

One thing that would be worth a try I think is to get in touch with Jonny at www.silverliningherbs.co.uk - email him a photo and he'll recommend the mixes appropriate. Used this on a horse which lost a lot of weight through ongoing diarrhea (think over a year!) which the vets could not touch. Total cost £60. No hard sell. 

What he does is a bit weird but it seems to work and would be worth a try.


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## RolyPolyPony (15 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			thank you TS, but to be honest I look at my girl and just cant believe than anyone wouldn't pull out all the stops, you can all see that she means the world to me, but I still couldnt express it adequately in words x   The thing is, that in relative terms she is eating about 3 cakes of haylage a day (max) having about 2 hrs grazing on grass and having 3 feeds during the day (min 1.5 scoops each feed) and 1 big bowl throughout the night, so regardless of her pickyness and lack of appetite, for the most part she is eating a fair amount and even when she wasnt picky and was eating loads, her poo was still like this. Yes, I did think of syringing oil too, hopefully it will help her a bit. Just thought Id post a pic of the goodies that arrived for her today... they have all been fab, Baileys sent half a warehouse!  and 4 samples of their outshine alone  and both dengie and Blue chip  have sent £5 vouchers aswell, and I have a sample of the ultra grass from badminton in there which I really hope she likes, I can start giving her a big bucket of this at night to help with variety and good stuff going in.






Click to expand...

WOW!! That's a lot of goodies!!  I didn't find outshine did much in the way of helping my old boy gain weight (but I obviously understand every horse is different and you are an amazing mummy who is willing to try anything for your girl!) however, because of the amount of oil in it it may help with her stools!  I see a sample of mollichaff condition in there too.  This is quite possibly the best feed I've fed my boy (who is a very poor doer!) I read that you were giving her some pulled grass, have you tried her on soaked grass pellets?  I have EVERYTHING crossed for you and Ebony and hope that she picks up very very soon, she is so very lucky to have an owner like you who isn't just giving up on her


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## JenHunt (15 June 2012)

At lest you've got a point to start from now! Keep your chin up hun. Send you're got everyone here, your Vet, and the feed companies behind you both! 

Should the worst come, I suggest you let Ben see her so he can understand that she's gone, and come to terms with it himself. And as long as he can see others he would probably be fine after a little while.


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## lurcherlu (15 June 2012)

Don't know if anyone else has suggested it? A friends horse with gastric ulcers went like this, he now has magnesium based products and is 100 percent better, worth a try?


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

CH: yes I've seen the cost of it  but what can you do? I have to try for her 
SC thank you x i was meaning to pm you to ask about that x
RPP she used to do really well on outshine but she didn't like it today! She's had mollichaff, baileys top line blue chip pro and I mixed in the cereal feed too. She's being really picky but it should be gone overnight and I hand fed her a sample of top line cubes too.
LL she was on gastroguard for 2 weeks with no improvement 

JH the plan so far if it happens is it will be done in the school which is grass but obviously has decent access. I will then bring Ben out and leave him in with her for a while until he seems settled. I will use injection, I think on many levels it's easier for me to deal with emotionally, less brutal (although I am absolutely not judging others I just know I couldn't cope with it) my oh will then take her to a lovely bit of croft land high up, on his land where we used to ride through and you can see everywhere around  that's where she will be  I think after hearing peoples opinions and experiences I'm going to be leaving Ben for a week at the yard and then assessing from there. When he does go, I'm going to chat with the trainer and see if I can go up and be as involved as possible so I really feel part of the process with him, normally I'd send to her, visit midway and go for a ride in the last week, but I need to feel part of it now whatever happens.  She is pretty ace and knows what's going on so I'm sure she will be ok with this


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## Sugarplum Furry (15 June 2012)

If only they could talk, as in I feel like *this* and it hurts *here*. Queenbee I so feel for you, such a desperate situation. You are being incredibly brave, whatever happens you know you've got 100's of people rooting for you and the girl. Give her a hug from me, and a big heartfelt one from me to you. x


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## Mince Pie (15 June 2012)

Could it be a suggestion that, instead of mixing her feeds, you give her a bucket of each and let her choose? I haven't forgotten your Copra - I'll post it tomorrow


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## MrsMozart (15 June 2012)

Nothing useful to add, just wanted to wish all the best hunny.


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## Oberon (15 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			I am also acutely aware that prednisolone can cause constipation, I now need to plan for this, her stools are already very dry, each pellet coming out hard and separate, like a load of big dark brown marbles!  She is pooing regularly and she isnt dehydrated so I need to formulate a plan to deal with this, if she goes on the prednisolone this will make this worse, and I may then be risking colic, which she would not survive given her state.  She is drinking well and urinating well, what are the best things for 'loosening her up'  Im thinking blended fruit and veg?
		
Click to expand...

http://www.equinatural.co.uk/epages/BT3755.sf/en_GB/?ObjectPath=/Shops/BT3755/Products/023

http://www.equinatural.co.uk/epages/BT3755.sf/en_GB/?ObjectPath=/Shops/BT3755/Categories/Colic

http://www.cotsherb.co.uk/botanical-herbs/herbs/milk-thistle-seeds/prod_350.html

http://www.cotsherb.co.uk/botanical-herbs/herbs/cleansing-herb/prod_137.html

http://www.cotsherb.co.uk/botanical-herbs/herbs/psyllium-husks/prod_420.html

Smells like dead feet - but they love it
http://www.valleyviewanimalfeeds.com/apps/webstore/products/show/2388526


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

thank you all, things are actually looking a lot bleaker, today, yes she is still picky with her feed but she will eat mix on its own (she had a stubbs scoop full) and an hour later a bowl of mollichaff (her all time favourite at the moment) she has been left with a combination of topline mix, blue chip pro, cereal mix and chaff to munch on throughout the night and haylage.  But she is absolutely ehausted, just like at the begining her energy levels have flatlined, I have noticed the past few days that her whinneys seem a little bit hoarse (almost as if she has a sore throat) and her head is hanging low, she was stood at the stable door and she kept knocking it with her legs, I think she was actually so tired she kept almost stumbling  she then laid down in the stable whilst myself and another livery were talking.


Throughout my time with horses, I have always wanted to be able to share that moment with a horse when you get to have proper loves with them while they are lying down, It has never happened, infact with ebony the only time that I have ever seen her lying down in 11 yrs is this month.  I knew I would never get that with her...













I think I got told by her tonight, and I think during the time these photos were taken I made my decision, she is just so tired, and not even the mare she was 2 days ago, I will be talking with the vet tomorrow, I may rally round and change my mind, but I think to go further seeing how she is going downhill rapidly would be for me, not her.  Of course she may perk up a bit again, but I really dont think she will, there was a definite difference, a very very tired ebony with absolutely no fight or spark.  I could keep going on, and I would if she hadnt deteriorated these last couple of days to the extent that she has, If she is uber sparky tomorrow, then who knows, but I think this is it now.


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## Parker79 (15 June 2012)

So sorry to hear this...you are being so brave. I hope the vet will help you with a plan or decision in the morning.  Good luck in the morning...I hope she pulls through x


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## Emilieu (15 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to read this. Thank you for sharing those pics of a very special moment with us. My thoughts are with you and your girl xx


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## rhino (15 June 2012)

I'm so sorry Em. She's such a special girlie


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## LaurenBay (15 June 2012)

I am so so sorry to hear it. If it makes any difference, I belive you are making the right choice. Ebony is very lucky to have you by her side, you clearly love her deeply. Xx


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## meesha (15 June 2012)

Thinking of you xxx


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## Doris68 (15 June 2012)

I'm so, so sorry for you and your beautiful girl.  You have done everything you can and all I can say is be brave and remember all the good times. Very sad.


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## Mince Pie (15 June 2012)

Oh Em that second photo is heartbreaking


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## Oberon (15 June 2012)

Whatever decision you make, I'm with you.


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## Elsbells (15 June 2012)

Thinking of you both.


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## Puddock (15 June 2012)

I remember reading your threads last year. She's a beautiful girl. I have nothing useful to add, except to say that I am thinking of you both and hoping for a remarkable turnaround tomorrow. How poignant those photos are...


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## Queenbee (15 June 2012)

rhino said:



			I'm so sorry Em. She's such a special girlie 

Click to expand...

Thank you hun, she really is, Ive owned and known some fantastic horses, but none have matched her and none will, I stumbled across one hell of a horse, and have been truly blessed, I will have the biggest hole punched through my heart and in my life, replacing ebony would not be possible I could never even try 



Broke_But_Happy said:



			Oh Em that second photo is heartbreaking 

Click to expand...

Yes, I know, I was blarting my eyes out quite possibly the most tender and poignant moment I have ever shared with her.

Thank you all so very much, as I have said, you really have given me amazing advice, support and strength xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## FionaM12 (15 June 2012)

I'm so moved by your photos and your words. I'm so, so sorry Emily. Whatever you do, it will be for the best, because you know your lovely girl like no-one else. xxxxx


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## Pearlsasinger (15 June 2012)

So sorry it's come to this, you have certainly done as much as any-one could.
I do hope she rallies.


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## m1stify (15 June 2012)

My heart goes out to you..


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## Bertolie (15 June 2012)

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. X


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## Stacy_W (15 June 2012)

I have just spent the last hour reading all this and I'm so saddened by your most recent update. Such beautiful pictures and a gorgeous mare. We all try so hard for our most precious friends, but we have to listen to them when they've had enough.

Very moving pictures, but ones I'm sure you will treasure. Xx


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## Nannon (15 June 2012)

Second picture is heartbreaking  really hoping she pulls through - thoughts and prayers with you x


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## MissTyc (15 June 2012)

Thinking of you - what a terrible thing to be going through


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## blood_magik (15 June 2012)

I really hope she pulls through x


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## Sam_J (15 June 2012)

I'm an infrequent poster (although regular lurker who was enthralled by the is she/isn't she debate!) but am sitting here with tears running down my face and felt I had to post.  You have my utmost respect for all you have done for your lovely mare - your love for her shines through all your posts.  

I think you are being incredibly brave - how lucky for Ebony to have you as her guardian.


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## piebaldsparkle (15 June 2012)

xxx


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

Sam_J said:



			I'm an infrequent poster (although regular lurker who was enthralled by the is she/isn't she debate!) but am sitting here with tears running down my face and felt I had to post.  You have my utmost respect for all you have done for your lovely mare - your love for her shines through all your posts.  

I think you are being incredibly brave - how lucky for Ebony to have you as her guardian.
		
Click to expand...

you and me both, there hasn't been a single day that I haven't cried since the onset of this bloody heartbreaking injust, flipping totally wrong on all levels nightmare   

We all have our crosses to bear, but as I said earlier, the last 4 year of my life have been so very difficult, I have had my beautiful girl for 11, and I love her so very much, but that doesn't mean shes been a picnic, no horse has ever thrown me more attitude, challenges, spark, tallent, love, enthusiasm or effort, but she has been my lifesaver too, I have not publicly lived my experiences the last 4 years, but she is the reason I came through, as I also said earlier, I owe her everything.

It warms my heart that through this forum, a little friesian x tb mare who was purchased with a student loan many many moons ago, has apparently touched the hearts of so very many.  I wish you all could have seen her in her prime in RL, she was inspiring.  Thank you all for your words of support, I will keep you informed I promise xx


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## FionaM12 (16 June 2012)

Goodnight, Emily and Ebony. I'm off to bed. You're both in my thoughts a lot at present. xxxx


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

Thank you fi and goodnight xxx I'm bleeding shattered xx


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## be positive (16 June 2012)

Thinking of you, even when I was having my rant just now, at least mine are all healthy, sleep well and stay strong xx


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## Pidgeon (16 June 2012)

Oh honey I'm so sorry, however you are right she is telling you she's had enough, really really sad. Console yourself with knowing you gave her every chance, sending you massive hugs Xxx


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## touchstone (16 June 2012)

Oh QB I'm so sorry to read your latest update, however I think that you are making the right decision.   I have been really moved by Ebony and hope the next few days go as well as they can for you both. xxxx


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## Stacy_W (16 June 2012)

Echo Be Positive. I love my horses even more now.


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## Surreydeb (16 June 2012)

So so sorry sitting here with tears running down my face. Wishing you all the best your horse is so lucky to have had you and you should be so proud of yourself. Try and remember all the best times you have had with her. Your strength comes through in your posts and you and Ben will be ok. Big hugs and best wishes xxxx


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## Wagtail (16 June 2012)

So sorry, QB. I know how it is to love a horse so much. I think you have made the right decision for her, unless she miraculously perks up today. x


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## Tammytoo (16 June 2012)

Thank you for sharing such personal and beautiful pictures.  Taking the final decision is horrible and my heart goes out to you both.


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## sonjafoers (16 June 2012)

QB you are a wonderful, wonderful owner and my heart goes out to you. I'm sitting here balling my eyes out at your desperate situation and just praying for a positive outcome for you. You've been so strong and your girl will know that and know how much she is loved and how hard you are trying for her. 

I wish I could offer some suggestions but like many others I can't but just want to send you some warmth.

I have just picked up a load of Winergy Equilibrium, some of which is Condition. I am in Devon so you can't be too far away so if you think this may tempt her for a day or 2 let me know & I will willingly drop you a bag down. 

Hugs x x


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

She's gone, it was lovely and peaceful and the sun poked through just as she was about to be injected. It was the most peaceful and graceful exit for my best friend and soul mate xxx Ben is with her now. Xxxx


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## Tammytoo (16 June 2012)

God bless you for taking the final unselfish decision.

There's nothing I can say, but just send you cyber hugs.

Gallop free of pain, beautiful Ebony.


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## Suzie86 (16 June 2012)

So sorry


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## meesha (16 June 2012)

Thoughts are with you, you have been so strong for her and done everything you could including letting her go.  Big hugs


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## Snowy Celandine (16 June 2012)

So sorry x


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## Always_A_Moody_Mare (16 June 2012)

So sorry  xxx


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## Stacy_W (16 June 2012)

Lots of love to you. You're very brave xx


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## Cazzah (16 June 2012)

So sorry to read this but can honestly say that you have done everything possible to help her throughout, including the last, hardest decision. 

(((Hugs))) for you.

RIP Beautiful Ebony. Run free now. xx


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## el_Snowflakes (16 June 2012)

Im so sorry you had to let her go  U know her and listened to her so well. She was very lucky to have you & if you decide to take on another at some point- a very lucky horse it will be  keep your chin up- shes free now xx

ps. Remember to look after yourself, Its easy to neglect yourself when your taking care (stressing over) a sickly horse.


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## Wagtail (16 June 2012)

In tears reading this. She told you she was ready and you listened. Glad the end was so peaceful. No horse could wish for more.


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## blood_magik (16 June 2012)

*hugs*
thoughts are with you today


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## grouchymare (16 June 2012)

Another one in tears reading this. Big hugs to you and Ben.  Be very proud of yourself for everything you have done for Ebony, now it is time to look after yourself. Allow yourself to grieve but remember all the things that made you smile as well.
Sleep well beautiful Ebony xxx


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## Milanesa (16 June 2012)

So sorry for u xx your story has moved me too, what a wonderful owner you are, you listened to her and did all you could xx my heart goes out to you xx


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## Crazydancer (16 June 2012)

Tears here too, so very sorry to hear this. RIP Ebony, hugs to you and Ben xxxx


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## midi (16 June 2012)

Idk what to say but I'm sad to hear this, rip  &#9829;


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## Vixen Van Debz (16 June 2012)

Oh QB, I saught out this thread for an update and was in tears long before you posted about realising it was her time to go. Please know that for all the things Ebony has given you over the years, you have been a loving and knowledgable owner without compare: you gave her everything you could to try and make her better, but with the courage and humanity to realise when the fight had been lost.

 I hope that soon your memories with her bring not tears but smiles of joy, that Ben copes well with losing his friend, and that you get to be a real part of his education on breaking livery, whenever that may be. The hugest of hugs to you x


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## Jesstickle (16 June 2012)

Thinking of you QB x


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## muddygreymare (16 June 2012)

So sorry to hear that  Massive hugs on their way to you.
RIP Ebony, run free xxx


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## rockysmum (16 June 2012)

Oh god, I was hoping she had improved this morning.  As the other have said you have done everything right for her, she was a very lucky horse.

RIP Ebony and huge hugs to you and Ben.


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## m1stify (16 June 2012)

So sorry RIP Ebony. I hope when/if it comes to it with my mare I would be able to do it just like you have


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## Pearlsasinger (16 June 2012)

So sorry to hear this.  RIP Ebony.
Thoughts are with you and Ben.


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## Snowysadude (16 June 2012)

So sorry xx


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## Dolcé (16 June 2012)

So sorry, RIP Ebony x


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## JackJill (16 June 2012)

QB I rarely post but have been thinking of you a lot recently, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news but having been in a similar situation v recently I'm hoping you feel some release from the stress you have been going through whilst trying to nurse your beautiful girl. I know I just felt so tired when Solo had gone but I did feel relieved and more peaceful once his fight was over. I do hope you feel the same. You have my upmost respect and im sure I wouldn't be the only one to say I'd trust my own horse with you . Be kind to yourself. X


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## Kallibear (16 June 2012)

So sorry  No words will ever make her come back, but my thoughts are with you. She was a very well loved horse


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## Ellies_mum2 (16 June 2012)

So very sorry


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## touchstone (16 June 2012)

You can take comfort from the fact that Ebony went when the time was right and I'm sure they understand how loved they are. She was lucky to have such a caring owner who understood her so well.

I hope you can have a few quiet days, I expect all the stress and worry will be released and leave you exhausted,  Will be thinking of you. xxx


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## buffy2 (16 June 2012)

So sorry,R.I.P Ebony
hugs xx


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## Bojangles (16 June 2012)

Im so sorry QB. Thinking of you. Please rem to look after yourself. Hugs. X x


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## HappyNeds (16 June 2012)

I've been following your updates, I'm just so sorry, and sending you a huge hug xxx


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## sonjafoers (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry.

In times to come you will take some peace from the fact the ending was like it was xx


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## RolyPolyPony (16 June 2012)

Oh QB, I'm so sorry   You did everything you could for her and she will forever be thankful for that.  Sending massive hugs your way for you and Ben xx


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## Jericho (16 June 2012)

I am so sorry, you did everything you could for her and ultimately the right decision at the right time. It must be so hard for you. Run free Ebony xxx


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## Elsbells (16 June 2012)

What can I say with a heavy heart that hasn't already been said and felt already?

All I can add is, RIP Ebony and run free beautiful girl.


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## Mince Pie (16 June 2012)

Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear this. RIP Ebony x


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## Buds_mum (16 June 2012)

So sorry xxxxxxx


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## Slightlyconfused (16 June 2012)

I am so sorry. Sending lots of love and hugs. 
Xxxx


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## Fools Motto (16 June 2012)

Nothing I can say will help right now, but I join all the others before me and say I'm truly very sorry for the loss of your beautiful mare. My thoughts are with you. Take care, many hugs.
RIP Ebony.


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## DH1 (16 June 2012)

So very sorry QB, nobody could have done more than you.
Thinking of you.


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

Thank you all x after a couple of hours Ben settled properly around her, he had tried grooming, pawing and nudging, panic eating, galloping around and he removed the rugs that we tried to cover her with when a couple of birds were getting nosey. He has had some food and is really tired and clingy, he's in her stable tonight so he can see the other horse that's in, she has just been picked up by oh and left the yard, so I've now come home for shower and bed, one of the girls is giving Ben his tea tonight. You have all made such a difference this month, your support has been incredible. I plan to write a little bit of our history, how I found her, what an amazing journey we have had, to share with you guys, it may take me a while to get around to it but when I'm stronger I will.  

Thank you all so very very much xxxxxxxxx


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## jhoward (16 June 2012)

hugs to you em, im so so sorry.


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## Littlelegs (16 June 2012)

I'm so so sorry xxx


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## Bertolie (16 June 2012)

QB I'm so very sorry to hear this. Take comfort from the fact that you did everything you could for Ebony. Take care of yourself.

RIP Ebony....run free beautiful girl. Xx


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## misty_welsh (16 June 2012)

I've also been following your story, hoping it worked out for you both. I'm so so sorry it didn't, but can't help admiring your bravery when the time came. 

Take care x


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## carthorse15 (16 June 2012)

QB, I am so very sorry for your loss.   Cx


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## Nannon (16 June 2012)

So sorry for your loss, been following your story and hoping it would work out - admire your bravery for making the decision when the time came. 
RIP Ebony
X


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## laura_lor (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you did everything that you could to help your girl and she was incredibly lucky to have an owner who cared so much and who listened to her when it mattered most. 

Thinking of you and Ben *hugs*


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

I'm off to bed now as I couldn't be more exhausted, I just wanted to say that I never thought I'd be able to be the one with her and boy did I cry as she started to go down, but I feel so blessed to have been the one and to
Know I was the last person she saw, I was absolutely bursting with love for her and I know that she felt this.  I used a company called AVS vets in hayle throughout this, and they have been fantastic, Alex the vet who has been dealing with her case was off this weekend, but he came out, just for her, he was so gentle, the girls at my yard were fab too, I couldn't have asked for it to have been handled any more perfectly for her x I've started blubbing again! I'm going to Switch my brain off now, thank you all x


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## rhino (16 June 2012)

Run free Ebony dear x


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## quirky (16 June 2012)

((Hugs)) at this very sad time.
You should take some comfort from the fact that you did everything and more for this mare.
I hope things look brighter in time


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## Sussexbythesea (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear this I was really rooting for you  

Rest in peace beautiful Ebony

I found this poem recently as two close friends have both lost their horses shockingly suddenly and it really touches my heart.

God's Foal

I'll lend you for a little while
My grandest foal, He said,
For you to love while she's alive
And mourn for when she's dead.

It may be one or twenty years,
Or days or months, you see.
But, will you, till I take her back,
Take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have treasured memories
To bring solace in your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But, there are lessons taught on earth
I want this foal to learn.

I've looked the wide world over
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes
With trust I have selected you.

Now will you give her your total love,
Nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate Me when I come
To take her back again?

I know you'll give her tenderness
And love will bloom each day.
And for the happiness you've known
Forever grateful stay.

But should I come and call for her
Much sooner than you'd planned,
You'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And someday understand.


 Vicki xx


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## Emilieu (16 June 2012)

I'm so so sorry. Hugs xxx


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## jenki13 (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry QB. You did everything you could for Ebony and listened to her right to the end ((hugs))


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## smellsofhorse (16 June 2012)

I'm sorry to hear this.

But as everyone has said, you did everything and more to help her.


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## Kat (16 June 2012)

So sorry to read this, so very sad, but be comforted by the thought that you have done absolutely everything possible. Rip ebony


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## happyhacking:) (16 June 2012)

SO so sorry to hear this news. You have both been in my thoughts alot this week. You did the best you could for her and did the right thing for her today. I hope when the time comes with mare I will be strong enough to make the same decision. Take care of yourself now hun. Hugs xxx

Rip ebony. Gallop free now girl


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## fatponee (16 June 2012)

I am SO sorry to hear your news   I've been following your threads and know how hard you were trying to do the best for Ebony.  Please don't have any regrets - you did her proud.  RIP Ebony.xxx


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## Chestnuttymare (16 June 2012)

I have just read this thread all the way thro. I was so hoping she would pull through, you were  certainly doing everything possible for her. I am so sorry that you lost her. You did the selfless thing in the end and listened to her. She was a very lucky wee mare to have had someone like you.  Big hugs to you Queenbee. Hope you managed to get a bit of sleep. R.I.P. lovely Ebony  xx


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## Spottyappy (16 June 2012)

So sorry to read your sad news.


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## pootleperkin (16 June 2012)

Lots of hugs. You waited until she told you, then did the right thing. 

Look after yourself - you must feel like an overtightned spring that has finally be realeased. I'm sure you won't, but don't feel a minute of guilt about any relief you feel - both of you have been through the mill.

xx


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## Spanish Eyes (16 June 2012)

Another on who can barely see to type through the tears.

I am so so sorry that you lost the battle. But she told you that she was ready to go, and you listened with your heart. She is free from that struggle now.

She was loved to the end, and only knew love and kindness from those that were with her. Your love for her shines through - you are an inspiration.

Please be kind to yourself, and take your time. One day her memory will make you smile again, as you remember the special times you shared.

Hugsx


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## BBP (16 June 2012)

My heart breaks for you, I wish I could say something that would hep.  As someone else said, I will love my horse just a little it harder now, you never know how long you will be blessed to have them.


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## Bubbles (16 June 2012)

So sorry for your sad loss  she was a very special horse, had so many of us hooked when you thought she was knocked up  Sleep tight, Ebony, and much love and hugs to you xxx


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## ghostie (16 June 2012)

I am so sorry. You are such a fantastic example to us all, you did everything you could for her and when she told you she was too tired you let her go to sleep with grace and dignity.  I have so much respect for you, you are a very brave and caring woman.

Sleep tight Ebony xx


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## Vickijay (16 June 2012)

I have just read the whole thread and I was so hopeful that she would be ok. I am so sorry. Reading how important she was to you brought tears to my eyes. RIP Ebony, you were clearly deeply loved x


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## Bright_Spark (16 June 2012)

Just caught up with this.

I am truely sorry for your loss, but you did the right thing for Ebony.

My thoughts are with you and Ben.

Run free Ebony


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## Hovis_and_SidsMum (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to read this but what a lucky girl to have you. She told you and your heart heard her. I know when you see her again she'll tell you how grateful she was.
RIP Ebony xx


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## Dab (16 June 2012)

I'm so very sorry to hear your very sad news. You were lucky to have each other.


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## alfielola05 (16 June 2012)

I am so sorry, you have been incredibly brave and she was clearly an amazing horse, I hope you can take some comfort in her being free from pain now, love and hugs xxx


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## Parker79 (16 June 2012)

So very sorry for your loss, you have been so brave and you both fought so hard. Truly sorry for you xxx


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## OldNag (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry QB, I have followed this thread and was hoping against hope that there would be a happy outcome. It's 	a brave but loving decision you made and my thoughts are with you. RIP Ebony x


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## be positive (16 June 2012)

So sorry to read this tonight, I was thinking of you today, you made a brave decision for Ebony, I hope you can take some comfort from that and you have all the lovely memories of her. 

RIP Ebony.


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## Tiffany (16 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			She's gone, it was lovely and peaceful and the sun poked through just as she was about to be injected. It was the most peaceful and graceful exit for my best friend and soul mate xxx Ben is with her now. Xxxx
		
Click to expand...

I am so sorry for your loss   Ebony clearly meant the world so you must feel like your heart is being ripped out at the moment. The only consolation is that she's now pain free 

RIP Ebony and (((hugs))) for you QB


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## piebaldsparkle (16 June 2012)

RIP Ebony and may she join you in your dreams QB. xxx


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## Sugar_and_Spice (16 June 2012)

Sorry you lost her. RIP Ebony


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## alwaysbroke (16 June 2012)

So so sorry I am sat here with tears streaming down my face. Ebony was so lucky to have you, its the hardest decision as horse owners that we have to make, but they let us know when they have had enough.
RIP Ebony and hugs for you Queenbee xxx


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## Sam_J (16 June 2012)

It's the hardest decision but it's also the last gift we can give them.  I'm thinking of you at this very sad time xxx


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## Oberon (16 June 2012)

I'm so sorry.

Been a busy day at work but I popped out to get an internet hook up and see what the update was today.

Had a small weep in the police garage when I read the news.

Very sad.


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## Carefreegirl (16 June 2012)

Been following but haven't posted as nothing helpful to add 
Hubby has just asked if I'm crying (trying to hide it but obviously not very wee)
So sorry about the outcome but you clearly couldn't of done anymore or made her feel loved anymore than you have xx


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## Carefreegirl (16 June 2012)

'well' that should say - not wee.


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## Rueysmum (16 June 2012)

I cried at my PC as I read your post this afternoon, but I haven't been able to get back on the internet until now.

She was so loved.  How many horses really experience that much love?  She will be with you forever, in more ways than you may ever know.  I have had my own experiences and have carried out a lot of research and can honestly say that I believe that she is still with you.

So sad for you, but keep believing that she is by your side, because for sure that is where she will be.


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## Amymay (16 June 2012)

Oh sweetheart, I am so, so sorry for your loss (((( xxx ))))


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## Fiona_C (16 June 2012)

So very sorry to read this RIP Ebony xxxx


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## Queenbee (16 June 2012)

God what to say, I'm empty and numb so very much in shock and with a killer headache from all the tears, it all feels pretty surreal but I wanted to post and say thank you everyone for all the pms, posts and contacts via Facebook that I've received. Each and every one makes this hard time a bit easier. It would never have been
My intention to go through this loss so very publicly, but with her illness and my plea for support and subsequent updates, that is how it ended up, all I can say is wow! You have all been wonderful. After reading how she has touched so many people, and all the posts since I went to sleep, I couldn't not say thank you, I can't really say what it means to read all these words. I don't feel special for what I did today, I feel the luckiest person alive and I also feel robbed.  the poem someone (sorry i cant remember who- left my brain in her stable)  posted earlier entitled gods foal sums it up, and rhinos photo made me cry too, that photo was taken by her old sharer who I met on here... Twizzel has captured some fantastic memories on camera for me.

I feel blessed and humbled to have been lucky enough to know Ebony at all, let alone walk side by side with her sharing our lives for the past 11 years.

RIP my beautiful mare x


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## FionaM12 (16 June 2012)

I've just logged on and read your news, which has made me cry. I have a huge lump in my throat for you and your dear wonderful Ebony.

You are so brave and wise to have done the right and unselfish thing for your darling girl. Look after yourself, Emily, rest and get your strength back. Ben will need your company and the two of you can grieve together.

Goodnight Emily.

RIP beautiful, much loved Ebony. xxxx


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## m1stify (16 June 2012)

I think it's also your writing Queenbee you write so well I dunno something about you and your special mare that had touched me and so many others maybe when some time passes you should write a book about your time together!


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## copper100 (17 June 2012)

Firstly am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mare, just read this whole post and was with everyone hoping for a better outcome.

I can empathise with the feeling of being robbed, but just for now take care of yourself and try and rest.

Thoughts will be with you..


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## RaYandFinn (17 June 2012)

I have no words...well done for being so incredibly brave.

Run free Ebony... She'll be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge

Lots of love and hugs xxx


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## Circe (17 June 2012)

I'm so sorry to see your update, RIP Ebony.
She was obviously loved so much, you did everything you possibly could to help her.
Please take care of yourself.
Kx


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## MurphysMinder (17 June 2012)

I have been following this thread, and your post when you made the decision for Ebony was the bravest I have read in a long time.  I am so sorry you have lost your girl, I hope in time you can look back on all your lovely memories of her and smile.  RIP Ebony.


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## pines of rome (17 June 2012)

Bless you, trying so hard for your dear girl, I feel your agony I have been there and know how you feel! Hugs x


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## MrsElle (17 June 2012)

I have been following this thread but haven't commented before as I didn't feel I had the knowledge or experience to offer any advice.

Your love and devotion to Ebony is evident, and having had to have one of my girls pts two years ago next month I know that in time knowing you did the right thing at the right time will be a huge comfort.

RIP Ebony, and huge {{{hugs}}} to you x


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## ozpoz (17 June 2012)

Oh, so sorry to hear this - but sure you did everything right for her.
RIP Ebony x


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## misterjinglejay (17 June 2012)

So so sorry to hear your news. Love and hugs for you, wish I could say something to help.


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## Highlands (17 June 2012)

So sorry to hear your news


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## claracanter (17 June 2012)

I too have been following this post. What touched me most is your love for your girl and the bond that you shared. Life is so cruel and yet you have handled things so well, knew exactly when the time was right. Big hugs.


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## sleepingdragon10 (17 June 2012)

Oh my, that last picture of you and Ebony in the stable did it for me, and the tears are now flowing.

I'm so sorry you lost your girl, you fought for her, you gave her everything, and in the end, when she needed you the most, you gave her her dignity.

RIP Ebony.

xx


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## Queenbee (17 June 2012)

Thank you all for your very kind words, it's been the most painful time of my life  everyone has been fantastic, a local photographer took a picture of us jumping in 2009 at a local hunt, it was the best day we ever shared, unfortunately I lost the copy I purchased, he has gone through his records and found it for me, the drive to the yard was so painful this morning and I am thankful that I could swoop straight in and bury my head in Ben, not quite as gentle or sensitive as my girlie but my god I needed it, just something to hold and wrap my arms around and the feel of the mane running through my fingers, having Ben to cling to is a blessing and this tragedy is making my love and bond with him strengthen x I popped him out into the paddock after the other horses had gone, they are exhibits at a farm open day today. I decided that it would be best to pop him in here so he could understand that it was just the normal school/grazing paddock and nothing bad will happen, I could also keep a better eye on him, he started by nervous eating then got more and more high energy, I didn't mind as I thought a bit of a burn off would do him good, until he ran for the 4 foot wall and banked it up into the car park, luckily he didn't go for the gate to run off and find the others, but ran straight up to me, begging to go in his stable where he feels safe and calm, god love him he is lying down in there now , I'm off to get some calmer for the days ahead to take the edge off as best I can and I haven't rules out a companion for him, but don't know if I have the energy at the moment to focus on any more than one. On my feed bin this morning was a copy of the picture of ebony and I in the stable, another livery had had it done yesterday for me, I'm so touched by the support. I actually didn't cry half as much as I though I would last night and I couldn't stomach more than 2 glasses of wine, I was awake till 3, shattered but acutely lonely. I can't face the tack room, but I'm really happy I made the decision to Pop him in her stable, I was scared to death of seeing it empty, this feels right and I can clean his out and get the roof fixed. All in all a better day than I could have hoped for. What hurts a lot is that there seem so many people who are going through similar at the moment with their horses, or maybe it's just that this has made me more aware.  I really hope they have a favourable outcome and don't have to go through what I have x


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## Oddjob's Wife (17 June 2012)

Loads of love, QB.  So very sorry it came to this - can hardly type for crying for you.     RIP Ebony


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## Goldenstar (17 June 2012)

Lots of love from here xxx


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## nativepony (17 June 2012)

So sorry, a heart breaking but such a very brave decision from a wonderful owner.  Run free beautiful girl xxx


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## Natch (17 June 2012)

Be free now Ebony, you have been the perfect teacher, friend and dancing partner. 

"Just a horse"

From time to time, people tell me,
lighten up, its just a horse,
or,thats a lot of money for just a horse.
They dont understand the distance travelled,
the time spent, or the costs involved for just a horse.

Some of my proudest moments have come about with just a horse.
Many hours have passed and my only company was just a horse,
but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by just a horse, and in those days of darkness,
the gentle touch of just a horse gave me comfort
and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think its just a horse,
then you will probably understand phrases like just a friend,
just a sunrise, or just a promise.

Just a horse brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
Just a horse brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.
Because of just a horse I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. 
So for me and folks like me, its not just a horse 
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

Just a horse brings out whats good in me 
and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day. 
I hope that someday they can understand that its not just a horse 
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being just a woman. 
So the next time you hear the phrase just a horse just smile, because
they just dont understand.


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## Ibblebibble (17 June 2012)

I am so very sorry for your loss, i wish i had some wise words or better still a magic wand to take some of the pain away for you but sadly I'm just me and all i can offer is a virtual hug.
RIP beautiful Ebony.x


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## Sarah Sum1 (17 June 2012)

I am so, so sorry for your loss  

Rest in peace beautiful Ebony xx


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## cambrica (17 June 2012)

Peace be with Ebony. How heartbreaking and desperately hard for you. Hopefully now you will start to feel a slight weight lifted off your shoulders knowing you could have done no more and with the fantastic support from so many on here, I know that it really does make a huge difference.
My thoughts are with you and your sadness is shared.


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## caitlineloise (17 June 2012)

So so sorry for your loss. R.I.P Ebony.


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## Emilieu (17 June 2012)

Crossing the Bridge

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whinnied to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I put my head against you, nickered and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll gallop across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.


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## JenHunt (17 June 2012)

Vixen Van Debz said:



			Oh QB, I saught out this thread for an update and was in tears long before you posted about realising it was her time to go. Please know that for all the things Ebony has given you over the years, you have been a loving and knowledgable owner without compare: you gave her everything you could to try and make her better, but with the courage and humanity to realise when the fight had been lost.

 I hope that soon your memories with her bring not tears but smiles of joy, that Ben copes well with losing his friend, and that you get to be a real part of his education on breaking livery, whenever that may be. The hugest of hugs to you x
		
Click to expand...

this ^^ 
I've been away since Friday night, and came online to find out how she was doing. I'm absolutely devastated to hear that she's gone. But, I think you've made the hardest, and yet most brave decision of all, and shown how much you cared for her, and how unselfish true love can be. You should be proud of yourself for caring about her enough to put her before your own desires - I know she'd be proud of you. 

My thoughts are with you, Ben and your OH. I hope you can all look back soon with smiles, and fond memories of your best times together. ((((hugs))))


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## MrVelvet (17 June 2012)

I have just read this entire thread. I don't have much to say except I am sorry for your loss  you are a very strong lady, you tried your utmost and Ebony was a very lucky horsey!!! Xxx


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## leflynn (18 June 2012)

Devastated you have lost your darling friend Ebony, I wish the outcome had been the other way, but it seems it sadly wasn't meant to be and she was snatched from you all too soon  
Ebony couldn't have asked for more from you and she is so lucky to have had you in her life, run free Ebony  

I hope the lovely people and Ben around you continue to look after you, I'm sending you my thoughts and hugs, take care and it would be lovely to see more photos of you, Ebony and Ben xx


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## Moggy in Manolos (18 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			She's gone, it was lovely and peaceful and the sun poked through just as she was about to be injected. It was the most peaceful and graceful exit for my best friend and soul mate xxx Ben is with her now. Xxxx
		
Click to expand...

Oh QB I am so dreaadfully sorry, gutted to read this x


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## Merrymoles (18 June 2012)

Only just caught up as in midst of moving but am so sorry to hear your news and sending hugs and chocolate.


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## Gracie21 (18 June 2012)

QB I have been meaning to catch up with this. I am so sorry that I'm too late. I have read all the posts. I hope you are holding up okay. Lots and lots of love x


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## Beatrice5 (18 June 2012)

So so sorry for your loss  sending huge hugs and you have been amazingly brave. x x x x


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## ellie741 (18 June 2012)

I'm so sorry for have been Folowing from the start and have shed tears for u and ebony, massive hugs for you thinking of you in this terrible time Xxxxxxxx


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## devilwoman (18 June 2012)

i've been lurking on your thread from the beginning and checking in for updates each day i'm so so sorry that Ebony lost her fight, deepest sympathy to you and RIP Ebony xx


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## Montyforever (18 June 2012)

So sorry QB, but honestly ebony couldn't have asked for a better owner xx


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## Bernster (18 June 2012)

Ann. I've read backwards and caught up. I had to stop reading at times cos of the blabbing. So so sorry qb.  You've been such a superstar, and done so much for her. thinking of you x


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## Always Henesy (18 June 2012)

I am another who has followed this thread and I am also having trouble seeing my keyboard through the tears.
I am so sorry for your loss.
God bless you, Ebony & Ben.
Lots of love 
xxx


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## pogface (18 June 2012)

Have just had to hide in the bathroom to stop the tears. I've been away and have just caught up. So so sorry QB... Absolutely awful for you. My thoughts are with you. Enormous hugs for you and Ben x x


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## Jojo_Pea4 (18 June 2012)

I have been following your thread. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Some horses touch us so strongly and will remain in our hearts forever. 
Keep strong for Ben as he will for you. 

RIP Ebony xxxxxxxx


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## Venevidivici (18 June 2012)

This thread made me cry too. Cherish your many wonderful memories. You were lucky to have had each other,a special bond. Cry it out. Hugs x


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## yeeharider (18 June 2012)

So sorry for your loss RIP Ebony and huge hugs ((((((((((((()))))))))))))) for you, You did the best for herxxxxx


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## Queenbee (18 June 2012)

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, I've got a lot of courage from you guys, I am dealing quite well all told because she was so poorly, saying goodbye has been easier and I had time to get my heart as ready as possible. Anyway, I just wanted to say, no more sadness, there is no need, I keep remembering the good times and have shared some of my favourites on another thread as requested entitled 'what it's all about' or something like that. I thought we could all do with a smile


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## brighteyes (19 June 2012)

Just caught up and have a horrible lump in my throat. 

Goodnight Ebony.

(hugs) to you Emily x


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## xxMozlarxx (19 June 2012)

RIP Ebony xxx strength to QB over the coming weeks xxx


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## Moomin1 (20 June 2012)

Very very sorry for your loss, it is the most heartbreaking thing to go through.  You did your best for your gorgeous girl and gave her every chance.  She will forever be grateful to you and you should be proud of yourself for doing the right thing in the end.


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## pookie (22 June 2012)

I've no idea how but I managed to miss this thread after posting a week or more ago. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm not usually a crier but the recent pics of you and Ebony and your posts have even me welling up. You sound like you consider yourself lucky to have had her in your life; I'd say she was as lucky to have you, too 

All my sympathies are with you. Utterly heartbreaking.


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## Queenbee (22 June 2012)

Thank you pooks,

She really was the most amazing horse I have ever had the privilege of knowing, I can't put into words how much she meant to me, how much she taught me and how we grew together. A little horse with a fierce spirit and the biggest heart I know. xx  especially in those last few weeks when she was poorly, I realised I had to give absolutely everything for her, I owed her, she had always been there when I was suffering.  A partnership is for the good and the bad, the happy and sad, and thats what I had with her.

It behoves us all to just remind ourselves how very lucky we are, I regret the days that I was low and decided not to ride, or just checked her and went home, I will cherish even more than I ever have done before every single moment that I have with Ben, us horse owners will never be brimming over with money, but we are truly the richest people on earth x


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## Dizzydancer (22 June 2012)

Oh QB i am so sorry only just been able to catch up with this. Im glad she let you know it was time. I hope that you and Ben both console each other and stay strong as she would have wanted. My heart aches for your loss. 
Run free beautiful girl x x


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## Queenbee (22 June 2012)

dizzydancer said:



			Oh QB i am so sorry only just been able to catch up with this. Im glad she let you know it was time. I hope that you and Ben both console each other and stay strong as she would have wanted. My heart aches for your loss. 
Run free beautiful girl x x
		
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DD, thank you, although I suspect ben will not love me for long, I am feeling very proactive at the moment and am booking him in for wolf teeth extraction next week and boot camp 2 weeks later! he will not like me


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## TuscanBunnyGirl (22 June 2012)

Queenbee said:



			It behoves us all to just remind ourselves how very lucky we are, I regret the days that I was low and decided not to ride, or just checked her and went home, I will cherish even more than I ever have done before every single moment that I have with Ben, us horse owners will never be brimming over with money, but we are truly the richest people on earth x
		
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Very inspirational and reminds me of how lucky I am to have mine. Thank you.

I hope you're doing alright x


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## Vetwrap (23 June 2012)

I've just sat and read through all of your thread and cried with you.  I am so, so sorry that it wasn't meant to be, but I am full of admiration for you in the way that you dealt with everything.  Such openness and honesty...

Whilst being so tragic, yours is also a thread that shows the very best of HHO.  Supportive, understanding and just virtual friends that you may never meet, wishing that they could in some way help.

But in truth, it's actually all about you, who tried so hard to help Ebony.  You may think yourself lucky to have had her, but she was very lucky to have had you too.

I sincerely wish you all the best with Ben.


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