# feel like giving up :(



## PleaseVenus (12 May 2013)

I was finally feeling really positive with a loan set for summer, planning what I was going to do with him but now that has fallen through. Then I was going to help my friend with her horses but now she doesn't need it.

I used to ride when I was a child but had to stop because my parents couldn't afford it and now I feel like I'm spending half my student loan on riding lessons and just getting worse. I seem to get nervous so easily and it's frustrating because I know I could do it when I was little. I don't know how to get more confident without just doing things more.

I feel a bit stuck for getting experience, like I'm more of a hindrance than a help at the moment so not really sure if I'm helpful enough to get experience helping in a riding school or whatever. 

Sorry for moany thread, I think revision and tiredness isn't helping


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## nikicb (12 May 2013)

PleaseVenus said:



			I was finally feeling really positive with a loan set for summer, planning what I was going to do with him but now that has fallen through. Then I was going to help my friend with her horses but now she doesn't need it.

I used to ride when I was a child but had to stop because my parents couldn't afford it and now I feel like I'm spending half my student loan on riding lessons and just getting worse. I seem to get nervous so easily and it's frustrating because I know I could do it when I was little. I don't know how to get more confident without just doing things more.

I feel a bit stuck for getting experience, like I'm more of a hindrance than a help at the moment so not really sure if I'm helpful enough to get experience helping in a riding school or whatever. 

Sorry for moany thread, I think revision and tiredness isn't helping 

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Sorry to hear that you are becoming disillusioned.  Where are you based?  There may be someone on here that could do with an extra pair of hands.  x


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## debsflo (12 May 2013)

What about looking for a share horse,loads of people would be looking.


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## Tammytoo (12 May 2013)

You've got a lot on your plate at the moment, so don't put more pressure on yourself.  Working with horses on the ground without having to worry about riding could help build your confidence.  How about getting in touch with the local Riding for the Disabled and seeing if you could help out with their lessons.  You could offer to go and groom and tack up the ponies before their ride.

Try popping a note on the local tack shop notice board offering to help out in exchange for a ride on a sensible horse.  Try not to spend your precious grant on riding lessons,  you will need it later on.


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## Echo24 (12 May 2013)

I was in a similar boat with you. Had a lady who agreed to loan her mare to me and two weeks later changed her mind. I too feel really frustrated and went back to riding lessons at a riding school (£35 for a half hour private lesson!). Certainly look to help out at a local riding school, or an RDA to get your horsey fix but send word round that you want to share in case you hear of anything via word of mouth. Hopefully something comes up to help boost your confidence and experience. Good luck!


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## PleaseVenus (12 May 2013)

Thank you everyone! I'm in Cornwall, I thought there'd be loads but havent actually seen many adverts for share horses. I'll definitely keep looking and if I find a localish tack shop I'll put a note up. I'm not really sure where my nearest is. 
Doing stuff on the ground sounds like a great idea! I guess its just finding it. I did volunteer with the RDA for a while but found that as one of the least 'horsey' ones I didn't get to do an awful lot with the ponies. Maybe that would be different on a different day  I'll look into volunteering again once exams are over. 

Charcoalfeathers, aww no! It's really frustrating feeling like you're going back to square one, especially when you have your hopes up  

I'll do that  I have been riding at a riding school about an hour away so I think over the summer maybe it would be good to go back to my more local one to help. I suppose its just getting the initial experience to not be too inexperienced to do anything! 

One day eh  think I'm just way too sensitive lately. Thank you, you're giving me hope


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## GGRider (12 May 2013)

I meet lots of people like you who wisely realise that time and money is sometimes better spent at a really good riding school (like mine!) who can offer you a choice of lessons, and hacks on different beasties and cater for you and your learning needs.  You will be then be better equipped when the right situation and horse come along! 

As you know, down here in the South West, we don't charge silly money like that poor lady in Kent!  Good luck


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## PleaseVenus (13 May 2013)

GGRider said:



			I meet lots of people like you who wisely realise that time and money is sometimes better spent at a really good riding school (like mine!) who can offer you a choice of lessons, and hacks on different beasties and cater for you and your learning needs.  You will be then be better equipped when the right situation and horse come along! 

As you know, down here in the South West, we don't charge silly money like that poor lady in Kent!  Good luck
		
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Luckily it's not stupid money!  I hope that all the riding lessons and stable management lessons and things will pay off but sometimes it feels like it's hard to get real experience and it's a long time in between each lesson. I had a good riding lesson today though so now I feel a bit better 

Where abouts is your riding school?


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## IAmCrazyForHorses (14 May 2013)

Don't give up! 

There are times I've done a terrible canter and though 'I am awful at horse riding I can't do it' and I've almost cried because I love horses so much. But then I try and pull myself together and I can do it! I've found that the less effort I put in, the better at riding I am. The same as if I'm putting on a saddle or something, if i'm thinking 'is that too far forward?' and start to panic slightly I usually do put the saddle on wrongly. But if you just think of riding as 'this is the best place to be', you relax and because you're not annoyed you do better than if you think 'help this is an awful lesson'. 

Sorry for slightly long reply if I droned on sorry but hope I helped (a bit)


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## oldie48 (14 May 2013)

Yesterday my horse went like a dream and I felt a million dollars, today I had a lesson and i was useless and he felt like a donkey. I had so many "do this, don't do that," fired at me that at the ripe old age of 65 I nearly cried! But, I'll keep going a long as I can haul myself into the saddle, because the high I get when it goes right keeps me going through the bad patches. There is nothing like riding and I feel so priviledged to be able to spend time with horses. Don't give up!


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## Juniper Jack (14 May 2013)

Your situation sounds so much like some I have been in.  Can't afford a horse of my own, hoping to have access to some, getting to work with one for awhile and then "losing" him when the owner moved him or changed his program or I no longer had transport to the barn.  Have just moved to a new place where I hoped to be able to help with the local therapeutic riding program, where I was told they need only very physically fit people as sidewalkers--don't need anyone else to help feed, clean tack, groom, tack up, etc., things I can do.

I am sorry you are in this situation.  Sounds like you are young, though, and in good health, which are really two great things.  Go online, or in the phone book, find your local tack shops so you can post notices, ask around wherever you can think of -- local feed store, pet shop, etc.?  

I hope you soon find a horse to care for and love and ride!  And I second the other person's suggestion to try ground work to help your confidence with riding.  I have done a lot more ground work than riding in recent years, and while it's not riding, it has done both me and the horses a lot of good.


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## PleaseVenus (17 May 2013)

Thank you! All of your replies make so much sense. I suppose the bad days and the frustration are all part of it and probably make the good days even better! 

I'd like to be able to do more groundwork  it sounds really beneficial. Hopefully something will come up but in the mean time I'll enjoy my lessons


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## Ranyhyn (17 May 2013)

Keep going, I have faith you'll find someone (horsey and person!) soon


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## rachyblue (28 May 2013)

Email some riding schools offering help in return for some lessons, you could kill two birds with one stone then!

Most places can never have enough pairs of hands!


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## millikins (28 May 2013)

Don't give up, you'll regret it. I'm sure you are not at all useless, just lacking confidence. When you have your lessons, could you suggest that you arrive a bit early so you can groom and tack up your mount? Or turn him out, anything, just tell them you are keen to learn.


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## applecart14 (30 May 2013)

PleaseVenus said:



			I was finally feeling really positive with a loan set for summer, planning what I was going to do with him but now that has fallen through. Then I was going to help my friend with her horses but now she doesn't need it.

I used to ride when I was a child but had to stop because my parents couldn't afford it and now I feel like I'm spending half my student loan on riding lessons and just getting worse. I seem to get nervous so easily and it's frustrating because I know I could do it when I was little. I don't know how to get more confident without just doing things more.

I feel a bit stuck for getting experience, like I'm more of a hindrance than a help at the moment so not really sure if I'm helpful enough to get experience helping in a riding school or whatever. 

Sorry for moany thread, I think revision and tiredness isn't helping 

Click to expand...

WHat a shame you have been let down so much.  I feel really sad for you.

I've often thought I would love for someone like yourself to come along and help me with my horse once or twice a week.  I'd love to have someone that was really interested in learning about horses and riding, and who wanted to help me at the odd show. In return they could ride my horse and I would be happy to take them to a competition in my trailer if they really fancied havign a go themselves and the date didn't clash with what I wanted to do.

I was given this opportunity at the age of 14 when a friend of a friend used to teach me to ride her pony, and she used to take it to the show and I'd meet her there and she would allow me to compete it.   The thing is these days with so much health and safety and litigation and even child protection factors, people are so more reluctant to do this.

I have a 17.1hh WB gelding, aged 16 who is a good all rounder (safe but can be spooky at times and needs pretty strong riding) and loves jumping and dressage. I'm in the West Mids/Warks area.

You can always PM if your details suit.  I don't know how I would feel about 'sharing' my horse with someone and I don't know if I would like to do it long term but you are welcome to contact me if you might be interested and we can take it from there. I love my horse but I am not so precious about him that I wouldn't consider sharing him.  

I am a 'normal minded' sensible, bright and bubly individual aged 43, female, and I work in child protection so I'm quite safe.

If this is no good to you then try riding stables. At the end of the day you don't need a degree to muck out, groom or tack up, and I am sure they would be more than grateful for any help you could give them.  Not sure if you would end up beign a bit of a slave though, that's the only problem.


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## YasandCrystal (30 May 2013)

That's kind spirited Applecart14   I am just getting a young lady to help me to exercise my herd. I have 4 who will soon all be in ridden work albeit one is only 3 years old so very little but groundwork for him this summer and a 4 yr olld ready to be sent away for backing etc.  I think it can be mutually beneficial and it's good to share the experience and knowledge and horses with another


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## rema (30 May 2013)

Where abouts in Cornwall are you..I have a cob that could do with some fussing..


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## iduck (5 June 2013)

Have been in exactly the same boat! I spread the word that I was looking for a horse to exercise and found one through a friend of a friend, rode it for almost 2 years, all free. Recently I did the same thing again- put word out that I was looking for a horse- and started riding a local one that was being wasted. We had a lovely time together and when the owner moved house, she gave him to me as he was a lot more appreciated with me! 2 years on and we're having a great time. I would strongly advise spreading the word, and also putting up a little ad in local newsagents/ post offices and local vet surgeries as well as any local livery yards. Don't give up- it can be a lot of waiting but honestly you will be so glad you did.


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