# Gorby, the tortoise from hell.....



## Liz H (8 August 2014)

I have the dubious honour to now be caring( and living with) my  elderly (now totally dotty) Mums tortoise Gorby
He is an absolute horror.. He bites ( and I mean Bites!) bare feet if he can, he is permanently grumpy, he lives in the house moving around at will unless in his outdoor summer run. His toilet habits border on the obscene and he bullies my GSD unmercifully, as soon as Dennis settles down Gorby homes in on him and rams him, Dennis moves, Gorby follows and does it again.
 As I now have the attention of the horse training world surely it can't be that difficult to bond/ understand a tortoise?!!! Please help, advice appreciated


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## fallenangel123 (8 August 2014)

Lol!!! I don't feel quite so bad about being attacked by a tiny chick now!
    No practical advice, tortoises wig me out a bit!


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## Moomin1 (8 August 2014)

Haha, I got bitten by a baby tortoise once..it was the size of a 50p! 

They are very funny creatures.  How old is he?


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## Liz H (8 August 2014)

Hi, he's about 5 and has the attitude of a stroppy teen!


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## Moomin1 (8 August 2014)

Liz H said:



			Hi, he's about 5 and has the attitude of a stroppy teen!
		
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Haha, amazing!  Post a piccie of him if you can.  I have met a fair few in my job, and they are all such different characters.  One I met was 70 and had been with an old couple for 50 years - was gifted to them on their wedding day. It was huge, and carried a sandal about with it (the same sandal for years and years).


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## Meems (8 August 2014)

Sorry but your post has made me giggle.  I mean, honestly, how much trouble can a tortoise be??!!


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## Liz H (8 August 2014)

I'll send him for a weeks holiday, bet he' d be sent back within days.....


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## Alec Swan (8 August 2014)

Google the recipe for turtle soup.  Turtle,  Tortoise,  it can't make that much difference,  perhaps just 20 mins longer,  on reg 6.  and a sprig of basil,  maybe.

Alec.


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## MotherOfChickens (9 August 2014)

Meems said:



			Sorry but your post has made me giggle.  I mean, honestly, how much trouble can a tortoise be??!!
		
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have you seen what comes out the other end? puts ducks to shame!


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## LittleBlackMule (9 August 2014)

Alec Swan said:



			Google the recipe for turtle soup.  Turtle,  Tortoise,  it can't make that much difference,  perhaps just 20 mins longer,  on reg 6.  and a sprig of basil,  maybe.

Alec.
		
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OMG Alec you horror!



Gorby sounds like a few tortoises I've known, they tend to have much more 'personality' than people give them credit for.


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## sonjafoers (10 August 2014)

I've fallen for Gorby already & I haven't even met him - I've thought for years that I have the worse tortoises out there, the amount of stress they've caused me is unreal, but I think Gorby's just made me realise mine aren't that bad. They do let themselves in the house at times without me realising - I've been sat on the settee in the evening and one or the other has popped out from underneath or I've gone to put my wellies on and found one jammed in there - but they definately aren't allowed free TOILET range of the house!

I think Gorby might be a bit pampered!


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## Liz H (10 August 2014)

Quite possibly, my Mother created a monster ( no, not me!) she would wash and dry his lettuce leaves individually, pander to his every whim and forgive him the most hideous indiscretions , so unfortunately I'm stuck with the miserable little b******.
 I'm damned to keep him safe and well as he has to visit  Mother periodically to check his well being....


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## Supertrooper (10 August 2014)

I was only saying the other day to my boss that we should become a exclusive tortoise vets as they are so easy to handle but perhaps we'd change our mind if we met Gorby ;-)


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## Fides (10 August 2014)

That sounds just like my mums tortoise - bullied the dog and my dad too when they had just started dating... Little ****** eh?

Eta - that wasn't a bad swear word I promise


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## poiuytrewq (12 August 2014)

OP- are you on facebook? There is a brilliant page called Billy's tortoises. A couple ( i think they are a couple!!) Billy and Anne run it and they are absolutely invaluable for advice and re-assurance etc etc


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## heebiejeebies (19 August 2014)

poiuytrewq said:



			OP- are you on facebook? There is a brilliant page called Billy's tortoises. A couple ( i think they are a couple!!) Billy and Anne run it and they are absolutely invaluable for advice and re-assurance etc etc
		
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It's a good page if you don't mind the CONTINUOUS bickering, fighting, slagging and general childish behaviour from the members.
Oh, and don't get sucked into Annes dramatics, pity parties and temper tantrums... I ended up leaving the page because she stressed me out so much - and I've never even met her!

Tortoises are great pets, what breed is Gorby? Mine is a soul, he has so much personality. He is housed in a large rabbit cage on a stand and when he wants out he moves his log to the side of the cage and climbs on top of it and peeks out. He will literally stare you down until you let him out - like this... 








He comes out and does laps of the living room, plays with my kids toys, does circuits under the couch and harasses the cats.


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## Lanky Loll (21 August 2014)

Can't help with Gorby but my neighbours have several (4 or 5) I think which live outside during the summer in a large run with heated shed, only go in for hibernation I believe.  They actually have a hibernation room for them in the house  We can always tell when they've got a little over excited in the summer by the sound of knocking...


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## 3OldPonies (10 September 2014)

OP, I feel your pain for the mess he's making.  I used to have an old tortoise (about 40 - 50 years old I think) and hated it when he woke up early after Christmas, he'd live on the rug in a makeshift pen in front of the fire until it was warm enough to go into his outdoor summer pen and the mess had to be seen to be believed - urgh.  But despite that I cried for weeks when he and his female pal from the next door neighbour were stolen one night.  I just so hope that he ended up with someone else who would love and tickle him and feed him his favourite foods.  It breaks my heart even now not knowing what became of Tommy and Peppy.  (I was in my teens when they were taken, and I'm in (ahem) my 40s now).  

So although Gorby is a pain, please take care of him.


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## Liz H (10 September 2014)

Thanks for sharing your ( mess...) memories. Don't worry he's with us for ever. As I say he' ll see us out!! I'm sure Tommy and Peppy are doing fine, happily pooing and peeing with gay abandon on some stressed out carer' s carpet..Thank God for Vanish!


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## poiuytrewq (12 September 2014)

heebiejeebies said:



			It's a good page if you don't mind the CONTINUOUS bickering, fighting, slagging and general childish behaviour from the members.
Oh, and don't get sucked into Annes dramatics, pity parties and temper tantrums... I ended up leaving the page because she stressed me out so much - and I've never even met her!

Tortoises are great pets, what breed is Gorby? Mine is a soul, he has so much personality. He is housed in a large rabbit cage on a stand and when he wants out he moves his log to the side of the cage and climbs on top of it and peeks out. He will literally stare you down until you let him out - like this... 








He comes out and does laps of the living room, plays with my kids toys, does circuits under the couch and harasses the cats.
		
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Mm, yes I have to say it's not quite as appealing as maybe I first thought!


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## 3OldPonies (15 September 2014)

Thanks Liz H.

We didn't have Vanish back in the day, begging old newspapers from the neighbours was very much the name of the game!!!  Unless Peppy's owners managed to get in first we used to get quite a good supply 

Gorby is very lucky to have you.  I love the way you say that he rams the dog, Tommy would do it to feet or anything else that happened to get in his way.  He was also pretty good at climbing and squeezing under things, he quite often needed to be freed where he'd rammed the sofa trying to get underneath and had got stuck.


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## Liz H (26 September 2014)

Update on GTTFH. Has today gone for his claws trimmed, beak shaved, worming and annual health check. Will no doubt be in a worse mood than normal when he gets home....


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## 3OldPonies (30 September 2014)

Poor Gorby (well that's what he'll be thinking)  better keep the dog out of the way . . . .


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