# First horse bought... 5 days later break my leg



## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Hi everyone, just looking for some advice and general reassurance

been saving for my first horse for ages, found my dream horse about a month ago now he’s a stunning 16.2 ISH and I’m in love. Fast forward to 6 days post bringing him to new yard, we are in a lesson and I end up falling in a complete freak accident (he did absolutely 0 wrong) I lost my balance and stirrup, came off - end up dislocating my shoulder, fractured arm, broken femur, brain bleed and nerve damage through my right arm.

femur has been fixed by op and nerve damage getting better, but in a sling for 6 weeks and not sure when I’ll be off crutches.. been told 6 months before I can ride!!

how would you cope? 
I feel heartbroken, my dream heart horse I’ve had a week is now being ridden by others and looked after by others and my family won’t take me to yard to even see him as they are being over-protective and think I’m “not ready” I’m losing my mind. He’s my first horse (I’ve loaned before) but never had “that bond” and wanted to grow this with him and now he’s going to be with people I’m paying to ride him. I don’t know what I should/shouldn’t be doing and family are being really critical and horrible now and I’m finding it hard to cope.

what should I do?


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## scats (8 February 2021)

So sorry to hear about your accident.  Your family are probably just very worried and will be associating that horse with the position you are in, regardless of whether he did anything wrong or not.  Are you able to sit down with your family and explain how you are feeling and that you think it would be helpful at the moment to go and see the horse?  

As for the horse, do you trust the people riding and looking after him for you?  
If this had been an accident caused by the horse or it had done something dangerous, I would be suggesting sending it to a sales livery to sell on for you (fully disclosing everything, of course).  But if you are happy to continue with this horse once you are healed, then you need to make sure you have someone you trust riding him until you are better.


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## FinnishLapphund (8 February 2021)

Sorry to hear about the accident. I can sort of understand both yours, and your family's feelings, and can only suggest that you give it some time. In a few weeks time, presumably, either they'll have calmed down, or you'll be well enough to take yourself to the yard to visit your horse, whether your family like it or not. 

Not the way you wanted it, but I'm sure you'll be able to bond with your very handsome looking  horse later, once you're able to spend time at the stable again. Waiting is annoying, and boring, but as they say, it could've been worse. 
{{{{{{Vibes}}}}}} for an uneventful recovery.


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## muddybay (8 February 2021)

So sorry to hear about that! I understand where you and your family are coming from! Maybe get in contact with whoever's riding him at your yard so they can tell you his progress, when the initial shock of your injury dies down a bit have a word with your family and talk to them about their worries and concerns. It's hard I've been in a situation where I couldn't see a new horse before (not due to injury) and it drove me nuts! At the end of the day they're only trying to protect you but hopefully if you tell them how much he means to you they'll let you go to give him a carrott!
Hope you have a quickish recovery!


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## Midlifecrisis (8 February 2021)

Holy money...well first of all concentrate on being a good patient and get well. Try to look at it as if you were still horse hunting and you ll “find” your horsey partner ready for you when you are fit and well. Its a disappointment for sure but you ll be back mucking out, stuffing haynets and poo picking before you know it!


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Thank you for all your replies, just to clarify:

- he’s an angel; he did nothing wrong and it was just me losing my balance and landing badly due to the arena being really hard from all the ice and flooding. 
- the people riding him are my instructor and someone else who has been recommended so he’s being well looked after. 
- I more just feel gutted that all these new experiences we wanted to try with him it’s going to be someone else and I’m not gonna have a bond with him when I can get back to riding?


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## ITPersonnage (8 February 2021)

Bad luck on your accident, sounds really nasty. I'm sure you've thought about this yourself but your family probably don't "get" the horse thing at all and always had those concerns that this big, frightening animal was always going to end up with you getting hurt (!) As horse people, we tend to forget that  Unfortunately all those (wrong) fears have been "proven right" in their eyes!

It will no doubt take time but you will get there, once you can get out & about again try just going to the field with your family and not getting close, then gradually build it up until they see how lovely your horse is. At some point they will see that he's no threat after all....

Don't worry about your horse, I'm sure he will be well looked after and ready to restart your experiences together in no time at all.


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## splashgirl45 (8 February 2021)

it takes a long while  to get a bond with a horse  so dont worry about that side of things as you will have years to bond with him.  perhaps your instrictor could send you some little videos of him in his stable or field so you can see he is happy..its a shame you are laid up,  try and keep positive....


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## Cortez (8 February 2021)

Gosh, that is bad luck, hope you are not too sore and wishing you a speedy recovery. Re horse - don't worry about "bonding": being a practical (and experienced) person I can assure you that this is the least of your worries at this point. Again with practical hat on, if I was you I would sell this horse and buy another when fit and ready to begin riding again. You don't need the expense of keeping a horse that you barely know, and I would save that money towards buying another.


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## smolmaus (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			my family won’t take me to yard to even see him as they are being over-protective and think I’m “not ready”
		
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Good grief what luck! First off best wishes for your recovery. Heartbreak aside that really is the most important thing! 

I had 6 months off with a head injury as well about 10 years ago, it was a very frustrating time. I didn't (and still don't) have my own horse but I was able to go down to the yard with my sister and do some grooming and potter about to keep me sane. I ended up really bonding with a young horse who had come from a rescue situation, just chatting to him, giving him a scratch and a brush. Didn't need to be a saddle involved at all! We both just needed a friend at the time. Once you're off the crutches there's no reason you can't do the same with your boy. It'll make the time go in easier. 

My mum was petrified of me hurting myself again as well. If you let them confiscate your hat and boots so they know all you can do is potter about a bit would that make them feel better? 😂 If you're an adult and you're following all medical advice, they don't really have the right to tell you that you can't at least go to see him. I know COVID makes it harder depending on where you are but you can call a taxi or a friend to give you a lift.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Cortez said:



			Gosh, that is bad luck, hope you are not too sore and wishing you a speedy recovery. Re horse - don't worry about "bonding": being a practical (and experienced) person I can assure you that this is the least of your worries at this point. Again with practical hat on, if I was you I would sell this horse and buy another when fit and ready to begin riding again. You don't need the expense of keeping a horse that you barely know, and I would save that money towards buying another.
		
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I don’t have the heart to sell him, he’s a dream come true and just the most amazing boy. He’s only young - 4yo so I know in the future we have so much time together. I’ve also spent a ridiculous amount of money on him that I don’t think I’d get back but he’s worth it to me ❤️


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

[QUOTE="FinnishLapphund, post: 14535248, member: 53950"Waiting is annoying, and boring, but as they say, it could've been worse.
{{{{{{Vibes}}}}}} for an uneventful recovery.[/QUOTE]

It definitely could of been worse, I feel fine I’m not in any pain since leaving hospital where I’ve been for just over a week. Back at home now and all I’ve heard is “I’m impatient” and don’t need to go back when he’s now on full livery/being ridden and well looked after. It’s just sad and feel heartbroken


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## EnduroRider (8 February 2021)

Sorry to hear about your accident. Could you look to turn him away on grass livery somewhere that will do daily checks and then once you are ready to get going again you can start to gently return to fitness together? It might save a bit of money and the 'fear of missing out' whilst you rest and recuperate.


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## Meowy Catkin (8 February 2021)

What would I do if this was my horse? Well you have made it clear that it wasn't the horse's fault, so I will accept that.

If I didn't want to sell, I would turn him away for 6 months. He's only four so some time off will do no harm and I certainly wouldn't be trusting the instructor to ride. The flooded and frozen arena played a big part in your injuries, it clearly wasn't a safe environment to have a lesson in and I wouldn't want him to be continued to be ridden there.

It should be noted however that I have been stung before with people treating my own young horses badly so I am very biased and untrusting. 

I agree with forgetting about a bond. Once you are better and handling/feeding your horse daily they will learn who you are.


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## muddybay (8 February 2021)

On the bright side when you get back to riding him he'll be older and more experienced and that can only be a good thing especially when you've had so long off! Will your trainer be working on specific things with him while you're off?


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## Gloi (8 February 2021)

Once you can get back to the yard I'd make sure I regularly watch him being ridden by your trainer and talk to her about him and how he was going. I might also let him have a bit of time turned out to relax and mature during your time off, maybe once the grass comes through.
Sorry you have had this bad luck. I have twice had strokes which have stopped me driving and getting to mine so I appreciate your frustration. The time will pass though and you can continue your journey.


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## Equi (8 February 2021)

What rotten luck! You’ve two options, turn him away to mature even more physically and mentally then bring him back in in 6 months (so you are then taking the bonding from that) or let whoever’s riding tick him over as long as you can confirm they are doing things how you plan to be doing them yourself when you go back.

I assume your family are blaming the horse rather than the situation which isn’t fair on the horse but for a non-horsey person understandable. Is horse people never blame our horses. I hope you recover fast and without complication.


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## millikins (8 February 2021)

I'm with your family on this one, crutches and an icy surface are a disaster waiting to happen. I am surprised though that you've been issued crutches with a broken arm, however does that work?


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## IrishMilo (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			I more just feel gutted that all these new experiences we wanted to try with him it’s going to be someone else and I’m not gonna have a bond with him when I can get back to riding?
		
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Your injuries sound horrific! Hope you mend quickly. Just wanted to say that your horse doesn't share the same dream of bonding with you and experiencing 'the firsts' with you, so don't worry about that. It actually sounds like it will be really beneficial to have two experienced riders on him for a while - it's a great foundation for him and will mean they iron out any bad habits he might have in time for you to get back on board!


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## Coblover63 (8 February 2021)

Eek, sorry this has happened but I'm definitely in the "turn away" camp.  Give him three months in a field, which will do him no end of good at his age.  In three month's time you will have a better idea of how you are healing and what the future is looking like.  If all is going well then you could ask your instructor to start bringing him back into work and keep him ticking over for you.


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## honetpot (8 February 2021)

I agree you have to reassure your family you are not going to ride. Turning it away till spring will do no harm, and riding a horse on a frozen school is dangerous. In April, start again, if it needs to be sold it should be easier, and I would suggest you have some lessons on a schoolmaster.
Riding young horses is a bit like standing on a very wobbly board, you need to have really good balance, and often they end up it a totally different place than you expected in an effort to balance themselves with the riders weight.
 Forget dream horse, forget bonding, to get the best results you have to see the whole picture, even if it's not the picture you want to see. You have had a nasty fall, and no matter how long you have ridden, sometimes it takes a while to become mentally as well as physically repaired. A horse can be replaced, but your parents can not replace you.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

millikins said:



			I'm with your family on this one, crutches and an icy surface are a disaster waiting to happen. I am surprised though that you've been issued crutches with a broken arm, however does that work?
		
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I’ve only broken the one arm so my right side is out of order (broken leg also on this side) so I’ve got one crutch. But my leg break has been repaired surgically and I’m walking and weight bearing on it 1 day post op.


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## Meowy Catkin (8 February 2021)

I don't mean this harshly - I have had a bad accident myself - but it would be wise to be honest with yourself. Confidence is fragile and hard to repair (this can be a long road with many bumps on the way) and what was your dream horse may not be the right horse for you after you recover from your accident. 

You may find that all you need is some lessons on a schoolmaster/mistress and for your young horse to be schooled professionally, but with your level of riding in mind. It may be that a young horse will just not be a good fit at all for you post accident. You might need something shorter (16.2 plus as he may still grow) is a long way to fall. You might be one of the lucky ones who gets better and then carries on as before.

It is worth thinking about in case loaning or even selling this horse becomes the right thing to do. You don't need to decide this right away of course.


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## Auslander (8 February 2021)

Whats the timeline here? It seems to me that the accident was very recent, if you only found the horse a month ago, and had the fall a week after he arrived. If it's as short a time as I suspect it is between you sustaining a brain bleed, nerve damage and broken bones that required orthopaedic surgery  I'm afraid I'm on your families side! You need to do what your medics have told you, and rest up and heal.


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## Pearlsasinger (8 February 2021)

EnduroRider said:



			Sorry to hear about your accident. Could you look to turn him away on grass livery somewhere that will do daily checks and then once you are ready to get going again you can start to gently return to fitness together? It might save a bit of money and the 'fear of missing out' whilst you rest and recuperate.
		
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 This what I would do, or you risk the horse being a lot fitter than you are when you are ready to ride again.  At 4 a period of being turned away won't hurt him, at all, especially in this weather.  as some HHO'ers know, I fell and broke my leg in October. my leg is in a frame and I can't get to the horses.  They live at home so I can see them through the window but as I have become more mobile, so the weather has got worse.  I am not rising further damage by going out skating on the ice. 
My advice is to turn him away and then plan your own recovery.  In the past I found a mechanical horse excellent for rehab.

I would also question your instructor's judgement about using a frozen school to have a lesson in, unless, of course, your lesson was all in walk.


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## gallopingby (8 February 2021)

Auslander said:



			Whats the timeline here? It seems to me that the accident was very recent, if you only found the horse a month ago, and had the fall a week after he arrived. If it's as short a time as I suspect it is between you sustaining a brain bleed, nerve damage and broken bones that required orthopaedic surgery  I'm afraid I'm on your families side! You need to do what your medics have told you, and rest up and heal.
		
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I agree, the combination of injuries sound bad / 🤔 you broke both a leg and an arm as well as the brain bleed, and this happened quite recently. You’re lucky to have someone to ride your horse while you recover and hopefully he’ll be going nicely by the time you’re able to climb aboard again. Pretty sure this isn’t going to be sooner than six months with the injuries you describe. How fast were you going or was it a spook? Also you don’t sound very old so plenty time for things to heal. 😀 sorry but you’ll just have to be patient, small steps.


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## ownedbyaconnie (8 February 2021)

Another in the turn away camp.  I also wouldn't be trusting my horse, let alone a youngster to an instructor that thought a frozen school was a good place to have a lesson.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Pearlsasinger said:



			This what I would do, or you risk the horse being a lot fitter than you are when you are ready to ride again.  At 4 a period of being turned away won't hurt him, at all, especially in this weather.  as some HHO'ers know, I fell and broke my leg in October. my leg is in a frame and I can't get to the horses.  They live at home so I can see them through the window but as I have become more mobile, so the weather has got worse.  I am not rising further damage by going out skating on the ice.
My advice is to turn him away and then plan your own recovery.  In the past I found a mechanical horse excellent for rehab.

I would also question your instructor's judgement about using a frozen school to have a lesson in, unless, of course, your lesson was all in walk.
		
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the arena was fine on the day and was checked, the ground was just harder than usual. My instructor is brilliant and would never put someone in harms way.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

ownedbyaconnie said:



			Another in the turn away camp.  I also wouldn't be trusting my horse, let alone a youngster to an instructor that thought a frozen school was a good place to have a lesson.
		
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It wasn’t frozen, I said it was hard from being frozen over the past month.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

IrishMilo said:



			Your injuries sound horrific! Hope you mend quickly. Just wanted to say that your horse doesn't share the same dream of bonding with you and experiencing 'the firsts' with you, so don't worry about that. It actually sounds like it will be really beneficial to have two experienced riders on him for a while - it's a great foundation for him and will mean they iron out any bad habits he might have in time for you to get back on board!
		
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That’s what we thought, keep him at the level that he’s at so he’s being worked, he’s a really good boy and I’m also worried that I’m not going to be fit enough to bring a 4yo back into work when I come back from potentially 6 months + off riding for the turn away crowd.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Auslander said:



			Whats the timeline here? It seems to me that the accident was very recent, if you only found the horse a month ago, and had the fall a week after he arrived. If it's as short a time as I suspect it is between you sustaining a brain bleed, nerve damage and broken bones that required orthopaedic surgery  I'm afraid I'm on your families side! You need to do what your medics have told you, and rest up and heal.
		
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Definitely listening to all medical advice, but I don’t see the difficulty of being able to go down and give my own horse a stroke and a carrot as it would be better for my piece of mind too.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

gallopingby said:



			I agree, the combination of injuries sound bad / 🤔 you broke both a leg and an arm as well as the brain bleed, and this happened quite recently. You’re lucky to have someone to ride your horse while you recover and hopefully he’ll be going nicely by the time you’re able to climb aboard again. Pretty sure this isn’t going to be sooner than six months with the injuries you describe. How fast were you going or was it a spook? Also you don’t sound very old so plenty time for things to heal. 😀 sorry but you’ll just have to be patient, small steps.
		
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I’m trying to be patient! I think that’s why my parents are being so critical because they have said that it’s my own fault for riding in the first place as I fell jumping the month before and had a mild concussion. The day I rode I was well, feeling fine, had completed all my doctors recommendations but despite this they feel it was unsafe even though this has just been a result of my very bad luck and losing my balance.

I’m not that old, early 20’s been saving since I got a job for my horse and it’s finally happened and now this. Just heartbroken.


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## FinnishLapphund (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			It definitely could of been worse, I feel fine I’m not in any pain since leaving hospital where I’ve been for just over a week. Back at home now and all I’ve heard is “I’m impatient” and don’t need to go back when he’s now on full livery/being ridden and well looked after. It’s just sad and feel heartbroken 

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But full livery, and him being well looked after, doesn't take away your desire to simply spend time with your newly bought horse. To see him, give a carrot, some scratches, and feel that lovely smell of horse in your nose.

If they only keep telling you that you're being impatient, it doesn't sound as if they're being overly sympathetic with you. But try to remember that your brain getting injured, might make you feel a bit more emotional about the situation, than if you'd only injured your arm + leg.

Only because your bonding period have been delayed, it doesn't mean it won't happen, it only means it's been temporarily postponed.
{{{{Hugs}}}}


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## Meowy Catkin (8 February 2021)

OK, so you say the arena surface wasn't frozen and slippy. What happened to cause you to lose your balance? Did he spook, whip round or something else?


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## Pearlsasinger (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			That’s what we thought, keep him at the level that he’s at so he’s being worked, he’s a really good boy and I’m also worried that I’m not going to be fit enough to bring a 4yo back into work when I come back from potentially 6 months + off riding for the turn away crowd.
		
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Well you certainly aren't going to be fit enough to ride a fit rising 5 yr old, that is used to being ridden by a pro.  That is why I said start planning your own rehab, because you won't be able to just get back on the day you put your crutches away, or even on the day the doctor discharges you.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Meowy Catkin said:



			OK, so you say the arena surface wasn't frozen and slippy. What happened to cause you to lose your balance? Did he spook, whip round or something else?
		
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FinnishLapphund said:



			It definitely could of been worse, I feel fine I’m not in any pain since leaving hospital where I’ve been for just over a week. Back at home now and all I’ve heard is “I’m impatient” and don’t need to go back when he’s now on full livery/being ridden and well looked after. It’s just sad and feel heartbroken 

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But full livery, and him being well looked after, doesn't take away your desire to simply spend time with your newly bought horse. To see him, give a carrot, some scratches, and feel that lovely smell of horse is your nose.

If they only keep telling that you're being impatient, it doesn't sound as if they're being overly sympathetic with you. But try to remember that your brain getting injured, might make you feel a bit more emotional about the situation, than if you'd only injured your arm + leg.

Only because your bonding period have been delayed, it doesn't mean it won't happen, it only means it's been temporarily postponed.
{{{{Hugs}}}}[/QUOTE]
Thank you for this it’s made me feel slightly better. I’m not being unrealistic will probably have to go back for lessons in a school before I can ride with him again once I can get back into it, but I’m already feeling drained and everyone saying you aren’t good enough to ride him anymore so just sell him it’s been a bit of a ray of sunshine when I already feel very depressed and emotional.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Meowy Catkin said:



			OK, so you say the arena surface wasn't frozen and slippy. What happened to cause you to lose your balance? Did he spook, whip round or something else?
		
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It was literally just a freak accident, he did nothing wrong, the ground was a bit harder as I’m sure everywhere in U.K. is at the moment, we wasn’t doing anything dangerous, I lost my balance and fell and landed badly. I’m sure everyone’s had a fall like it but I’ve come out worse for whatever reason , the lady next to me in hospital ended up tripping over a kitchen rug cause she was holding too much and had a similar injury - apparently these things happen !


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

Pearlsasinger said:



			Well you certainly aren't going to be fit enough to ride a fit rising 5 yr old, that is used to being ridden by a pro.  That is why I said start planning your own rehab, because you won't be able to just get back on the day you put your crutches away, or even on the day the doctor discharges you.
		
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thanks for your comment, as you’ve probably seen I am aware of that and already said my plan will probably be to go back for lessons on a schoolmaster type when I can ride. I’m not being unrealistic but thanks for making me cry/hurt a bit more when I already feel like there’s no hope haha.


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## Spartan1996 (8 February 2021)

muddybay said:



			So sorry to hear about that! I understand where you and your family are coming from! Maybe get in contact with whoever's riding him at your yard so they can tell you his progress, when the initial shock of your injury dies down a bit have a word with your family and talk to them about their worries and concerns. It's hard I've been in a situation where I couldn't see a new horse before (not due to injury) and it drove me nuts! At the end of the day they're only trying to protect you but hopefully if you tell them how much he means to you they'll let you go to give him a carrott!
Hope you have a quickish recovery!
		
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my livery yards been amazing, everyone has helped out and he’s now being well looked after on full livery. I’m paying two experience riders to exercise him and keep him happy until I’m able to go back myself when I’m ready and able to.


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## smolmaus (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			apparently these things happen !
		
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Indeed they do. My skull fracture was slipping on a wet floor in kitten heel boots. 

Mentioning frozen ground, being a first time owner and him being a 4yo does raise red flags though, I hope you can understand why people feel the need to ask these questions and not take it too personally. The danger of posting on a forum is not being able to give all the information!


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## millikins (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			I’ve only broken the one arm so my right side is out of order (broken leg also on this side) so I’ve got one crutch. But my leg break has been repaired surgically and I’m walking and weight bearing on it 1 day post op.
		
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Ah that makes more sense, your OP said "crutches" hence the misunderstanding. However your balance will still be thrown by your injuries so do stay away from slippery surfaces.


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## Highflinger (8 February 2021)

Sorry to hear about your accident. One really good way to bond is to do groundwork  - perhaps you could do this in a few months time before you are able to ride. There are a lot of videos on YouTube- Warwick Schiller for example is good and TRT Method. Watching them may also while away some time whilst you heal 
Good luck


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## doodle (8 February 2021)

My boss had a nasty accident jumping. She was badly injured and spent 10 days in icu. She was late 50’s at the time. Had ridden since a small child, always had her own horses. Kept her horses at home. All the family also rode and had all their life’s. But still the family’s knee jerk reaction was she had to sell all her horses and never ride again. They were quite vocal in that opinion. The good thing having her horses at home and grooms were the horses were looked after and kept in work. It took well over a month before she was fit to come to the yard outside the back door and pat a nose.

So in your case your family are very worried about you. They may have been scared you would have been long term injured or worse. Knee jerk reaction is to never let you get back into that situation again. Non horsey people do not understand the need to see horses. They see what they think the issue is and want to remove you from that incase next time it is worse. I am older than you and my mum still tells me to be careful, the oven is hot when she opens the door. That’s what mums do, they want to protect you.

So sit tight, and when you are a bit better you can go and see your horses. I understand the need to see him but give it time. Also when I was on crutches my horse was terrified and it was not a good situation. 

I think at this point I would be turning away your horse, probably wait a month until weather better. It would do him good at his age anyway. I would then plan to get him back into work by whoever  is riding him now about 6 weeks before the 6months is up. So he is ready for you to get back on.


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## gallopingby (8 February 2021)

Not the same but maybe the yard can send you some videos of him being ridden or do you have a link to him in his box, then you could see what’s going on? There are loads of apps now that can be connected to a mobile phone so people can check on their horses, mainly for security or foaling but still fun to see and ma better than nothing?


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## Pearlsasinger (8 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			thanks for your comment, as you’ve probably seen I am aware of that and already said my plan will probably be to go back for lessons on a schoolmaster type when I can ride. I’m not being unrealistic but thanks for making me cry/hurt a bit more when I already feel like there’s no hope haha.
		
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I must have missed your post about schoolmaster lessons.  Your emotional response just shows that your brain bleed has had an effect, along no doubt with all the other treatment that you are having including pain relief.  Believe me I know, from experience. 
I also know that you will find a good natured, well mannered, unfit 5 yr old easier to ride than a fit 5 yr old that has been set up by a pro rider.


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## Miss Sin (9 February 2021)

I know it's difficult to be rational right now, a lot of strong emotions going on YAY NEW HORSE, OH NO ACCIDENT, but bigger picture stuff - he's 4. He's just moved. It's winter. 6 months will give him time to settle into his new home and he'll be more comfortable by the time you're back riding. If you wanted to turn him away for a few months it would do him absolutely no harm, A lot of people *plan* to turn 4yr olds away for the winter, or even just have someone you trust ride him once a week for a little something to do. 

With regards to your parents, if you are only just back out of hospital (I may have read it wrong) then no wonder they're concerned still! They wont keep you away from him forever, they just want to shield you from more harm for now - keep you on box rest a little. I'm sure a little more time at home and they'll soften to the idea of just letting you have a potter around the yard and a pat. I know it can easily feel like they're persecuting you for having an accident, but it is just because they care, and as others have said, just treat it like you're still looking/haven't bought him yet. When you bought him you didn't think "Oh no, somebody else has been bonding with him for 4 years, I won't be able to"? Because you can and will, whenever your journey starts, even if its a little later than you planned it'll still happen.

The body is an incredible thing and you *will* heal and get better. If you can afford to keep your horse without putting yourself out, I wouldn't sell him, especially if you're in the position to have lessons on a schoolmaster as you bring yourself back into it. You're young. He's young. You have the time. Nobody wants to wait for these things - human nature, but when you're all healed up he'll still be there!


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## Kat (9 February 2021)

Honestly, I would think really seriously about selling. I know it isn't what you want but the market is good at the moment so you should get a good price, you will also save a lot of money on livery, so you should have a good budget to buy something new when you are ready. 

A 4yr old is quite a challenge as a first horse in normal circumstances but when you are also recovering from a serious injury caused by a fall from that 4yr old it is going to be much harder. Even though it wasn't the horse's fault it is likely to knock your confidence and your ability and balance may well be affected by your injuries. 

If you sold you will appease your family and remove a potential source of stress (how will you pay for the horse if you end up on SSP?). Then when you are well enough you can have some lessons on safe school horses and buy again when you are ready taking into account how you feel about riding at that stage. 

At this stage you don't owe the horse anything and haven't yet bonded. If you wait for six months or a year and then find that he is too much horse for you post accident or that your confidence has been affected more than you think it will be much harder to sell him when you have bonded and you will pressurise yourself to do things that you find uncomfortable. 

Remember too that the market will probably fall in the next six months or so when furlough ends and businesses have to pay wages or make redundancies. So in a year you might be selling for much less. 

Depending upon who you bought him from they may even be prepared to take him back and sell him for you in the circumstances. 

If you plan to keep him, I would turn away now and then when you are ready to start riding again pay someone to bring him back into work quietly for you. 

Think through the possibilities carefully, what is your employment situation, how long will you get paid for, can you afford to keep him on SSP, what happens if you are laid off due to your injuries, how complete will your recovery be, how long will it take to be fully fit, what residual problems might you have, how will you feel about getting back on this horse, how will your family feel about you getting back on this horse?


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## Lady2021 (9 February 2021)

Sometimes you’re dream horse and a horse you actually need can be two different things. I love Tbs but I am nowhere near experienced to have one. I think you have think about does he suit your riding abilities . A 4 year old is very young for a first horse. If you are keeping him then I would turn him away. Until you ready to ride him.


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## RachelFerd (9 February 2021)

You're getting rather a lot of slightly heartless responses on here!

4yo *is* very young for a first horse. If you do want to keep him, I would not be turning him away. I'd be keeping him in work with your instructor (as you currently are) so that by the time you're ready to ride him again, he has more schooling and knowledge - and more importantly - your instructor will know him inside out and can help you with him more effectively.

Don't worry about bond - most horses couldn't care less who's riding them and dealing with them. Any bond takes years to build, and won't be damaged by the horse getting a bit more education before you get back to it.


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## windand rain (9 February 2021)

The bond you crave is not built by others as they are not the ones that have the feel for him. Try to compromise with your family barter time to see your horse against their will for you to rest and recover. It will be some time until you can legally drive which is a pain so you need them or a good friend who can be your bubble driver. I am old so no I wouldn't part with him It wasn't him so keep him being ridden and asap convince someone doubtful of the need to take you to simply see and feed him a carrot at that point stay outside his field or stable as you recover and they realise you dont want to push things too far you should be recovered enough to do more. Get them eventually to take you to see him ridden don't compromise your health in any way the more you behave yourself the faster you will recover and the risk of problems further down the line are reduced


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## Spartan1996 (9 February 2021)

RachelFerd said:



			You're getting rather a lot of slightly heartless responses on here!

4yo *is* very young for a first horse. If you do want to keep him, I would not be turning him away. I'd be keeping him in work with your instructor (as you currently are) so that by the time you're ready to ride him again, he has more schooling and knowledge - and more importantly - your instructor will know him inside out and can help you with him more effectively.

Don't worry about bond - most horses couldn't care less who's riding them and dealing with them. Any bond takes years to build, and won't be damaged by the horse getting a bit more education before you get back to it.
		
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Thanks so much for your comment - I’d taken a break from replying as it feels like there was a lot of heartless responses! Think it’s pretty reasonable to be “emotional” when you’ve just been through a huge accident with both physical and emotional stress haha.

of course 4yo/rising 5 is young for a first horse - however his age didn’t make him unsuitable and I also have experience riding young horses before. Unfortunately as I said I’ve not been in a position to *buy* a horse before due to nothing other than personal circumstances and family being unable to afford my own. Now I have a job that’s what I wanted to do with my money so I did. I’ve also been loaning horses for years and saving up to be able to buy one. Questioning someone’s riding ability is another toxic thing about the equestrian community. 

as for current situation, I’m moving him yards to work with someone on schooling livery and will be resuming things myself with him as and when I am fit to do so. Lots of comments about spending time with him in the stable have been really reassuring and I will be doing so as much as I can. 

Ive seen him today and he’s well and has been being a good boy. My family have calmed down a lot now and I think it was the initial shock of coming out of hospital which has now calmed down. 

for anyone who *cares* I’m also moving around all the time and able to walk, I’m unable to ride for 4-6 month but I am also young fit and healthy. I’ll get back to riding if it takes 6 months or it takes 12. It may take a month/s of building fitness in a school but I WILL DO IT. My horse is more than just *money* to me - he is important and I’m a big believer in our connection and we will have our time, it may just be later than expected.

thanks to anyone else who has been writing compassionate comments, they’ve been helpful to read and a motivator to my recovery.


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## windand rain (9 February 2021)

Hope you make a full recovery and are back on board as soon as is safe to do so


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## scats (10 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			Thanks so much for your comment - I’d taken a break from replying as it feels like there was a lot of heartless responses! Think it’s pretty reasonable to be “emotional” when you’ve just been through a huge accident with both physical and emotional stress haha.

of course 4yo/rising 5 is young for a first horse - however his age didn’t make him unsuitable and I also have experience riding young horses before. Unfortunately as I said I’ve not been in a position to *buy* a horse before due to nothing other than personal circumstances and family being unable to afford my own. Now I have a job that’s what I wanted to do with my money so I did. I’ve also been loaning horses for years and saving up to be able to buy one. Questioning someone’s riding ability is another toxic thing about the equestrian community. 

as for current situation, I’m moving him yards to work with someone on schooling livery and will be resuming things myself with him as and when I am fit to do so. Lots of comments about spending time with him in the stable have been really reassuring and I will be doing so as much as I can. 

Ive seen him today and he’s well and has been being a good boy. My family have calmed down a lot now and I think it was the initial shock of coming out of hospital which has now calmed down. 

for anyone who *cares* I’m also moving around all the time and able to walk, I’m unable to ride for 4-6 month but I am also young fit and healthy. I’ll get back to riding if it takes 6 months or it takes 12. It may take a month/s of building fitness in a school but I WILL DO IT. My horse is more than just *money* to me - he is important and I’m a big believer in our connection and we will have our time, it may just be later than expected.

thanks to anyone else who has been writing compassionate comments, they’ve been helpful to read and a motivator to my recovery.
		
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Good luck with your recovery.  I think your plan with your horse sounds absolutely fine x


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## Birker2020 (10 February 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			for anyone who *cares* I’m also moving around all the time and able to walk, I’m unable to ride for 4-6 month but I am also young fit and healthy. I’ll get back to riding if it takes 6 months or it takes 12. It may take a month/s of building fitness in a school but I WILL DO IT. My horse is more than just *money* to me - he is important and I’m a big believer in our connection and we will have our time, it may just be later than expected.

thanks to anyone else who has been writing compassionate comments, they’ve been helpful to read and a motivator to my recovery.
		
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So Sorry about your accident.  Might I suggest that swimming would be a good source of exercise to build up your muscles and strength when you are well enough to be able to do this and is good for your injuries as it is a non weight bearing activity.  It also makes you incredibly fit and improves your general fitness.  Hopefully it won't be long till pools at gyms are up and running.

I would also suggest that you consider buying sport protection insurance cover.  Rider policies on horse insurance aren't really worth the paper they are written on as you have to have permanent loss of an arm, or a leg to pay out.  Whereas sport protection cover can cover you for a broken arm or leg, hospitalisation, physio, that kind of stuff.  This is what I used to do when I used to compete as I was temping at the time and obviously without a source of income if injured.  I used to compete every weekend without fail show jumping and knew that the more I competed the more at risk I was simply because that's how things work.  I also knew that most riding accidents result in broken arms, legs, collar bones and concussion (I had a few) and I wanted something that would cover me and pay out for this kind of injury. Fortunately it didn't happen but it was piece of mind if it had of.

I can't remember who I used but it was around £85 per year and had a deferment period of 2 weeks and I think you could claim for a full 52 weeks following injury.
Here is an example.

24/7 injury cover.
Pays an immediate lump sum.
Covers every sporting activity.
Covers injuries at work.
Covers injuries at home.
Can be combined with other policies.
Income The plan covers you 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It can also be combined with additional policies such as Income Protection.           https://www.totallysportsinsurance.co.uk/tap-totally-accident-protection/


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## Havital (14 February 2021)

Just caught up with this thread but I am glad you have come up with a plan now which you’re comfortable with. Only you know how it happened, how you feel and what you feel is best for your horse (very gorgeous one I must say). You can create your bond with your horse once you’re back up and running there is no rush for this. Most importantly I hope you’re mending well and quickly (us younger ones heal quickly so you have age by your side!) good luck and keep us updated.


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## Spartan1996 (6 May 2021)

Hi all just a quick update for anyone interested. I’ve been back riding for about a month now started with a riding school horse to test by new bones out a few times before getting back on my own. He’s been a perfect gentleman and really looked after me, my confidence has improved massively over the past two weeks since starting schooling him again and moving him back to our yard. This week we’ve accomplished our first canter together since the fall in January a few days ago.

At the moment we have loads to work on together and are just taking things nice and slow and seeing how we feel on the day, whether that’s just having a nice walk round, lunging, schooling etc! Or even if it’s just spending some time together in the pen walking round in hand. 

I’m really glad I didn’t listen to half the comments saying sell him etc, he’s an absolute star and only going to get better with age and time spent together. Luckily I’ve bounced back well, riding 3 months earlier than predicted (all cleared with surgeon of course) and feeling happy and positive about our little team together.

Thanks to everyone who posted kind and helpful comments they really helped through a difficult patch but I won’t be asking for advice from the internet again haha - I guess what I’ve taken away from this experience is that everyone entitled to their opinion, but no one else is gonna back you but yourself so you’ve got to go with your gut. When you can say anything be kind 💕


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## Pearlsasinger (6 May 2021)

I'm glad that you have made such a good, speedy recovery.  It just shows what youthful determination can achieve.  Enjoy your horse!


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## Baywonder (6 May 2021)

I have followed this thread but not posted on it until now.

Firstly, I am so glad you have recovered well and are back in the saddle. You have done remarkably well to achieve this.

As for advice on here, you will always get a mixed response.  Those who suggested selling probably did so due to their experience of similar situations, knowing they do not always end well.  Those who wished you well and encouraged you may well have endured the same problem and worked through it.

It would be a shame if you did not use this forum again.  Those on here have many years of horsey knowledge, covering a wide range of topics, so any problem usually has an answer posted pretty quickly.

Yes, some can be sharp in their responses, others are hugely pink and fluffy.  One thing is for sure, when the chips are down and you need help and advice, this forum never fails to deliver. 

Don't write us all off yet - and I hope the good progress continues - Good luck!


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## Pinkvboots (6 May 2021)

Glad your back riding you have done so well!


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## Coblover63 (6 May 2021)

Fab news!  I remember reading your post when it happened!  You've made a fab recovery and I'm delighted that everything is going well with your horse 😊


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## Gloi (6 May 2021)

Glad things are getting better. Hope everything goes well from now on.


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## splashgirl45 (6 May 2021)

great update, well done for persevering,  sounds like you are on the right track..


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## Miss Sin (6 May 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			Hi all just a quick update for anyone interested. I’ve been back riding for about a month now started with a riding school horse to test by new bones out a few times before getting back on my own. He’s been a perfect gentleman and really looked after me, my confidence has improved massively over the past two weeks since starting schooling him again and moving him back to our yard. This week we’ve accomplished our first canter together since the fall in January a few days ago.

At the moment we have loads to work on together and are just taking things nice and slow and seeing how we feel on the day, whether that’s just having a nice walk round, lunging, schooling etc! Or even if it’s just spending some time together in the pen walking round in hand.

I’m really glad I didn’t listen to half the comments saying sell him etc, he’s an absolute star and only going to get better with age and time spent together. Luckily I’ve bounced back well, riding 3 months earlier than predicted (all cleared with surgeon of course) and feeling happy and positive about our little team together.

Thanks to everyone who posted kind and helpful comments they really helped through a difficult patch but I won’t be asking for advice from the internet again haha - I guess what I’ve taken away from this experience is that everyone entitled to their opinion, but no one else is gonna back you but yourself so you’ve got to go with your gut. When you can say anything be kind 💕
		
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Ahhh thats brilliant news  I'm glad it worked out well for you! I had faith


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## Reacher (6 May 2021)

I missed your post at the time and have just read half this thread thinking it was written recently   so really pleased to read the recent update. Good luck , take it slowly and enjoy your horse!


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## Archangel (6 May 2021)

Brilliant update.


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## Spirit2021 (6 May 2021)

I am glad you’re doing better and I am happy things are going wall for you.

I can understand people point of view of selling . When I was super confident on my horse Evan though  I in hindsight we weren’t the right match and my horse had issues.  I was so in love I didn’t see the bigger picture until years gone buy .

  I would ask instructor if they think the horse is suitable. At the end of the day you broke your ankle.


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## Midlifecrisis (7 May 2021)

Well done...keep on doing what you re doing.


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## spotty_pony (15 May 2021)

Spartan1996 said:



			Hi everyone, just looking for some advice and general reassurance

been saving for my first horse for ages, found my dream horse about a month ago now he’s a stunning 16.2 ISH and I’m in love. Fast forward to 6 days post bringing him to new yard, we are in a lesson and I end up falling in a complete freak accident (he did absolutely 0 wrong) I lost my balance and stirrup, came off - end up dislocating my shoulder, fractured arm, broken femur, brain bleed and nerve damage through my right arm.

femur has been fixed by op and nerve damage getting better, but in a sling for 6 weeks and not sure when I’ll be off crutches.. been told 6 months before I can ride!!

how would you cope?
I feel heartbroken, my dream heart horse I’ve had a week is now being ridden by others and looked after by others and my family won’t take me to yard to even see him as they are being over-protective and think I’m “not ready” I’m losing my mind. He’s my first horse (I’ve loaned before) but never had “that bond” and wanted to grow this with him and now he’s going to be with people I’m paying to ride him. I don’t know what I should/shouldn’t be doing and family are being really critical and horrible now and I’m finding it hard to cope.

what should I do?
		
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so sorry to hear about your accident, hope you make a speedy recovery! Although it's frustrating, but if he is being well looked after, I wouldn't worry about the bond - you will still be able to develop it with him once you can get to the yard - it's not something that won't happen, just something which will have to wait until you are better. He looks very sweet by the way.


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