# Pushy Owners (and their horses)



## Natti (24 March 2013)

This is really just a rant more than anything else but I would like some advise on this as well. So, last Monday I was up at the field getting Phoenix in and my friend was getting her horse as well. Now, this was when it was snowing and all the horses were kicking up a little bit of a fuss but nothing drastic. My friends horse, Cleo, is one of the kindest sweetest things you could ever meet and as we were walking up we could see her standing near the gate, waiting for us. There are 2 other horses apart from ours in this field and the owners, who we had never had a chance to meet until now, were walking up behind us. These two women, probably late 50's-ish, were talking extremely loudly - about how bad Cleo was. It was very easy to here them as we were only maybe 50mtrs infront and they began discussing how violent and snappy she had been lately, this bothered me and my friend a bit as this 16yo horse had never hurt a fly, there is a toddler who comes up to see her and has walked right underneath her before without the horse batting an eyelid. 

 My friend and I got to the little ménage before the gate of the field and went in, Phoenix and the other 2 horses began circling and rushing up to the gate but they went back when I asked them to and I was going to get Cleo in as she was standing maybe half a metre away from the gate so I could grab her and get out, however (grrr) these two women came up _yelling_ at us not to go near her and that she was dangerous, which startled their horses and one rushed the gate (which I was standing next to) again. I was not best pleased. They were yelling at me to get ou tof the field to get Cleo into the ménage before putting her headcollar on her. One of these ladies then proceeded to storm up to the gate, open it, obviously trying to get Cleo out yet making the other 3 rush it, again, all while I still cant get out because the horses are in the way and are starting the have a snapping match in amongst each other.She eventually got Cleo out into the ménage, although as this was a new experience, Cleo didn't know what to do and neither did my friend (she has only really been around horses for about a year and is still quite nervous) so when |Cleo lifted her head so that the headcollar couldn't go on the other woman, wh had been telling my friend off for wearing ankle boots up to the field (she was in trainers though,which I though rather hypocritical) rushed over to Cleo, grabbed the headcollar from my friend and forced it over Cleo's head

They made me do the same with Phoenix and, as I was so confused by the situation, I went along with it (stupid, do what you know) and poor Phoeenix tried her hardest but these women were treating her like some rabid dog and not giving me a chance to explain to them that what they were doing was not what our horses were used to. So I collard Phoenix an started making my way down to the yard, with these women yelling after me abou thow she normally walks down with Cleo (my friend had left by this point) and to watch her because she's a wild horse. All the time their horses had been rushing around, biting and kicking at our horses (Phoenix admittedly bit back) and at me, and these women treat our horses as wild.

 I was pretty riled up about this but calmed down after a while. I realised that the reason I had listened to them was because they were olde and I always feel that it's very rude and disrespectful to question people who are a lot older than me. However I then heard multiple (like say, 20) people talking about how dangerous and bad mannered Cleo and Phoenix  had been today, although not one of them had the courage to ask my friend or myself about the situation down at the field. Needless to say I was furious because Phoenix already has a bad press, but to drag Cleo into this as well bothers me as it makes us seem like we cant control our own horses.

Any way, I realise this is a big wall of text and that it mostly me just describing how poorly I handled this situation but my dad isn't the best person to get advise from and my friend is more a sort of oh-you've-got-problems-here-mine-are-ten-times-worse sort of person so I don't want to discuss it with her. I also hate making a big deal ou tof things but this bugged me and had to let it out. So sorry, and advise on how to make sure these ladies don't take advantage of this sort of thing again, and how to do it at leased partly nicely, would be appreciated. And you all get a virtual cookie if you made it to th bottom of that big mass of words 

Oh and sorry for the spelling mistakes!


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## hnmisty (24 March 2013)

Let me vent a grrrrrrrrr in sympathy with you.

I've noticed that some people love to make a massive deal out of everything their horse does. Horse shifts its weight slightly when being groomed and the owner starts screaming at them to stand still. Drives me mad. They seem to forget that their horse is a living animal. 

I'm afraid I can't offer much advice as I'm not used to using livery yards, but GRRRR!!


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## 9tails (24 March 2013)

So these two horses are yours and your friend's yet these women manhandled and scared them?  This is simple, tell the two women to NEVER touch your horses again and inform the YO that you wish to move fields as these women have no idea how to handle horses and are creating a dangerous situation.


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## Jazzy B (24 March 2013)

9tails said:



			So these two horses are yours and your friend's yet these women manhandled and scared them?  This is simple, tell the two women to NEVER touch your horses again and inform the YO that you wish to move fields as these women have no idea how to handle horses and are creating a dangerous situation.
		
Click to expand...

^^^ this and if the yard owner doesn't let you move I would both of you find another yard, sounds like an accident waiting to happen, and they sound ridiculous!!!


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## paulineh (24 March 2013)

I would politly tell these two women to leave both you and your horses alone, do not go near them or you and to stop mouthing off incorrect information.It does not matter if these women are 50ish they should have more sense.

Tell the YO and if they are not happy and will not do anything about it move yards and tell the YO why.

People like these women should not be allowed to bully you.


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## Natti (25 March 2013)

Thanks for all the advice(and grrr's) guys, I'm going to be having a chat with these women the next time I see them as it is not acceptable behaviour and they really should know better.  Moving yards isn't really an option as I only loan Phoenix but if anything like this does happen again I will see about moving fields as it has kind of worried me about what these ladies do when I'm not around.


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## princestar (29 March 2013)

The women should never ever lay a finger on your horses, especially not in such an angry and disrespectful way. Get it sorted quickly before they start causing more problems. 

How very hypocritical of them, its made me feel angry for you.  

Some people can be very bitter about what others have, you dont know what may be happening when your not there. My friend moved to a new yard and her pony suddenly isnt headshy anymore! 
Hope Cleo and Phoenix are okay  x


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## Equilibrium Ireland (31 March 2013)

These women obviously made the situation worse. Just asking, but is Cleo always the first at the gate? Perhaps she is always sweet but needs to be first? I don't know. Perhaps they've gone to get their horses first and maybe Cleo was silly? I don't know and I'm not siding with these women. But sometimes there are 2 sides to a story. But again this is also the downside of livery. People and their egos make things impossible sometimes. And I don't mean you and your friend. It's just if its not your horse or even a friends horse people see other horses as being "evil". Don't envy yard owners! I have 4 waiting at the gate in one field. All assertive mares. They're all mine and so all have rules since birth about the gate. But if they were mixed up and in a livery situation things could get ugly. So do they always come in together? Do the women sometimes bring in their horses before Cleo? Perhaps this has led to the assumptions on their part? I'm not excusing them at all. But we don't always see all. My big moody warmblood mare transformed into an angel when little kids are around. We had one in the barn last night. The love she was giving him was unreal. 

Have a talk with your yard owner and tell her you're not happy. 

Terri


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## ClaretCarrot (31 March 2013)

I'd quietly ask people to keep an eye on the two old bags when you're not there. Explain the situation and that you are concerned about what they might get up to when you're not there. It's a shame, it only takes one or two people to ruin an atmosphere in a livery yard. Grrrrrr


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## Natti (31 March 2013)

Equilibrium Ireland - Cleo is not normally first, infact we had a problem with her _ not being there _ for a couple of months. She's almost always caught after Phoenix and she doesn't have any problems with this. On this particular occasion she was standing parallel to the gate and wasn't pushing to get out. Cleo and Phoenix come in together most of the time, as my friend and I normally go to get them at the same time, but she has no probelm with waiting if, say, my friend cant make it up and I look after her as well. Also, depending on how quickly we can get up after school, the other horses are normally gone. I could totally understand these women complaining about Phoenix though as she can be quite pushy at times.  I have found that there are lots of assumptions about her but these ones about Cleo are new. 

I have been keeping an eye (and ear, I can hear them out at Phoenix's stable) on these women and have found that people seem to, if not like them, at least listen to what they have to say. Think I will be asking around for a little bit more info. on them before I speak to the yo, but will be talking to the guy I loan Phoenix from a bit more, and have already mentioned the incident to him and he's not happy, as is the lady my friend loans Cleo from.


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## Equilibrium Ireland (1 April 2013)

Just asking that's all. Again do not agree with these women. I just can't think why on earth grown women would act like this towards a horse. Poor Cleo. 

People. 

Terri


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