# Strange horsey people you've had the misfortune of meeting!



## holeymoley (23 January 2013)

Just curious to see how many other bizarrely strange horsey people are out there that you've come across!

   We have a woman at the yard who is strange to say the least.  We all have ample space for stuff yet, she takes all her rugs home everyday ! can you imagine the state of her car?!   She also sweeps the same patch outside her door to an inch of its life, so much so the concrete is wearing down. The other thing I seen her doing the other day was checking her bolts were done up by shining a torch on them, even though we have a substantial ray of light coming from the numerous light bulbs in the barn! 

 So c'mon lets hear yours


----------



## Crumpet (23 January 2013)

I had a woman at my last yard who told me she "didn't like the gut sounds my horse was making" Really? why would you have your ear pressed up against the side of my not very amused yearling, loose in the field at that too! Another who offered my then very novice daughter the ride of her mare who was a known bolter who she wouldn't ride herself. Oh and the one who kept her pony in as a 'punishment' for being 'naughty'. I've met so many damn idiots over the years the mind just boggles. I'm glad that I'm on a yard that is so small now, and we all get on so well. No bitching and drama!


----------



## xloopylozzax (23 January 2013)

Since looking for a horse to ride/loan/share I've met some right oddballs. I've led a sheltered horsey life up to now because I was lucky to have grown up in a family having them at home.

I can't get over the number of people owning (and sometimes riding ) horses who just dont have a bloody clue, being told things by other people who also dont have a clue.

I went to ride a 14hh coloured cob that was on blue chip, topline cubes and various other supplements but hadnt been sat on let alone ridden (and supposedly schooled by a CHAPS judge) in a month of sundays. Cue me getting on this "quiet" horse and being dropped and rolled on in the middle of the road before it bucked and farted all the way back to the yard, when she told me what she was feeding it (and not turning it out ) had more rugs on than soft mick aswell.

The other was a supposed 14hh cob, that was 13hh at best (the grooms tried to tell me it was 14.2hh), 4yr old (again at best the poor sod) and only after it had dumped me on the floor transpired it hadnt been trotted or cantered in the whole time this woman knew/had it 
Then some soppy woman came over claiming to have loaned it 2 years previously (the mind boggles) but after watching her have a "lesson" on some scatty tb type which she was petrified off and would only trot about 3 strides before collapsing and grabbing onto the saddle. So if she did loan it, its unsuprising he ended up uncooperative/didnt actually understand.

The one between these was a lovely mare, forward going if a little green, but the owner was just slightly nutty. Going onto someones yard I wouldnt feel comfortable just taking over and doing things my way, but thats almost what she expected. Until I didnt do it the way she wanted and then she became abrupt so I didnt go again.

Then the ones I knew for a long time who were obsessed with living out a natural life. Which meant dragging the poor sod out until it dropped down in the field and couldnt get up, or got gangrene from an untreated abcess because "its got flat feet so its always lame".

Or the woman obsessed with buying nice horses, wouldnt actually ride them but would tell everyone she was.

Resigned myself to saving up and getting my own, and hoping I dont get too rusty in the meantime!


----------



## fjordhorsefan (23 January 2013)

One person I know has a split personality, and it was like walking on eggshells trying to decide what to say that would not cause later damage to the horse.  One was a greedy, lazy lying cheat, who threatened to let livery horses out loose on the road - worrying thing was, she owned the yard!!

All the current horsey people I associate with are just lovely though - hope I've had my fill of mentals!


----------



## LittleGinger (23 January 2013)

I know LOTS of strange horsey people - myself probably one of them  - but they are all lovely. Utterly insane, but lovely 

When I was a teenager I was next door to a lady who treated her horse like her son. Now... I 'baby' my horse and use nicknames and I chatter away to him all the time, but she would have full blown conversations with him (although they were rather one-sided).

As in, my chatter:
"Come on boy, let's get this rug on. Cold tonight! New rug - stay away from ***!"

Her chatter:
"Would you prefer the blue rug or the red one sweetheart?" [Pause]. "Is that the red one?" [Pause]. "Good choice! Let's put the red one on. Oh you're so smart... Let me see... No, look this way. That's it. Now, did I tell you about the new horse in the field? [Pause.] No? Ok... well, he rips rugs. So darling, what you need to do is - are you listening? - as I was saying, you need to stay away from him. He's the big bay one. Do you understand? Yes?"

This really was constant - she would even apologise to him if someone 'interrupted' to say hello or ask her something. She was totally batty... But you know what? She was harmless and her horse wanted for NOTHING so I loved hearing her really. If anything she made me chat to my horse more as I felt less self-conscious about it!  I lost touch with her and heard a few years later from someone else that her horse had died; cried my eyes out for her... 

Someone on here posted a fair while ago on a 'viewings from hell' thread about a lady who said she'd 'asked the horse and it didn't want to be ridden today' - made me laugh a lot but part of me did also wonder whether it was the same lady.

Then I've met plenty of crazy split-personality 'butter wouldn't melt/Lady Macbeth' types...  I steer clear of them!


----------



## LittleGinger (23 January 2013)

fjordhorsefan said:



			One was a greedy, lazy lying cheat, who threatened to let livery horses out loose on the road - worrying thing was, she owned the yard!!
		
Click to expand...


----------



## Rebels (23 January 2013)

Yep, seen stables painted to reflect auras, requires expensive visit from long haired kaftan wearing crystal waving person to pick the right colour though. Someone who decided to cure their horses head shy behaviour by hanging feed sacks from the stable roof. Have seen it work with one in the middle. She had about 20 and the poor horse was petrified, it couldn't move for the things! Also different feeds each day so the horse didn't get 'bored'. Literally different brands and whatever was nearest! Someone tried to sell me a horse that could only be shod by a parelli farrier, obviously nailed them on with a carrot stick ! Oh, and our next door neighbour buys bags of feed that are broken or spoilt for his scruffy herd , turns out they look quite good on Chudleys Original!!!


----------



## JellyBeanSkittle (23 January 2013)

Had one YO padlock horse in is stable because we had given notice and was out day to move - she didn't want us to leave.....! Police were involved which eventually ended up with us loading the horse on the main road because we were not allowed to on the yard... :/ 

Another, mucked out into carrier bags! Also had one lady who was a right jekle and Hyde character. Talking to you nice as anything one minute then phoning you up screaming down the phone because you had done something wrong/awful/life threatening/said good morning/ in her eyes. She was extremely exhausting! 

I have a rather long list of these, highly amusing!


----------



## Venevidivici (23 January 2013)

Rebels-the Chudleys dog food to horses bit made me lol!


----------



## MiJodsR2BlinkinTite (23 January 2013)

Had a livery here once who was into "natural horsemanship"; boy was she weird - when she started hanging Rose Quartz crystals around their necks really cracked me up totally.

OK, so someone is gonna now say "but it WORKS"............ ha ha bleddy ha.

A good thing to do if you really wanna meet some fruitcakes is to advertise your horse for sale or loan - that'll do the trick properly and you'll be positively infested with every oddball, fruitcase & downright nutter on the planet. 

If you don't believe me then try it and see


----------



## Nicnac (23 January 2013)

The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman


----------



## kellybee (23 January 2013)

There was a woman at my old yard who bragged loudly at every opportunity about how she was a very well known dressage judge. She's poke us, prod, turn her nose up at our synthetic wintecs and mismatched tack, shout at us across the yard about our shoulder hip heel alignment (we had whizzy mounted games ponies/rode like cowboys and couldn't have cared less about our seats or the colour of our tack), she'd insult and lecture us all at every opportunity, to the point where we used to lead our ponies over the road into the fields before we got on. She turned up whilst we were galloping round the outdoor school vaulting on and off once and tried to tell us how inappropriate it was for teenage girls to be riding so dangerously and what would our parents think about such unladylike behaviour??. Yea yea. Whatever.

One day the school was closed due to a gas leak and we all walked down the yard to find her sat on her daughter's pristine palomino show pony (we'd never seen her judge let alone ride before), hunch backed, feet shoved right through the stirrups, toes down and trying her hardest not to fall off the pony (which was jogging merrily because she was shreiking at him). I swear I've seen first time trekkers with a better seat. The second she saw us she got off the poor po, but not before we'd spent the best part of 10 minutes watching her "ride". That was 15yrs or more ago, and I still remember it like it was yesterday!

I hear she's still lecturing the kids on that yard even now!


----------



## poiuytrewq (23 January 2013)

LittleGinger- I love that story but how sad that the horse died. 
Mine is similar- an only employer who used to chat to her horses in a very similar way. She was a very elderly lady but used to go round the whole yard each morning to tell the horses what their day entailed etc
One morning I was mucking out an empty box and heard her next door chatting to a gorgeous big Clydesdale (Clyde!) 
Her: what's that dear..... You want to have a sleep?  "Pause" of course darling.... Oh yes I know you like straw but I expect you would like to have a lie on shavings now and then "pause" what now? Oh but your so big.... Ok well I can't lead you hang on ...., shouts me " dear please can you pop Clyde into an empty shavings box? For some reason he wants a sleep but he's not keen on lying on his straw" rolled her eyes and shrugged at me! 
At this point I admit I figured totally mad! Led Clyde into another box where he promptly led down and went to sleep?!?! She was an amazing old lady but that was one of her best


----------



## Springy (23 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...

LOL   That is is funniest thing  have EVER read on a forum 

Actually belly laughing and tears streaming down face!!!!!


----------



## Elsbells (23 January 2013)

poiuytrewq said:



			LittleGinger- I love that story but how sad that the horse died. 
Mine is similar- an only employer who used to chat to her horses in a very similar way. She was a very elderly lady but used to go round the whole yard each morning to tell the horses what their day entailed etc
One morning I was mucking out an empty box and heard her next door chatting to a gorgeous big Clydesdale (Clyde!) 
Her: what's that dear..... You want to have a sleep?  "Pause" of course darling.... Oh yes I know you like straw but I expect you would like to have a lie on shavings now and then "pause" what now? Oh but your so big.... Ok well I can't lead you hang on ...., shouts me " dear please can you pop Clyde into an empty shavings box? For some reason he wants a sleep but he's not keen on lying on his straw" rolled her eyes and shrugged at me! 
At this point I admit I figured totally mad! Led Clyde into another box where he promptly led down and went to sleep?!?! She was an amazing old lady but that was one of her best 

Click to expand...

Love that story! 

Not every horsey mad person is really that mad or strange, it's often only our perception and judgement and we all know ow rubbish that can be.


----------



## Springy (23 January 2013)

A livery who feeds her horse in a bucket on a pile of bricks so he doesnt hrt his neck stretching down to the floor, and has a brush head across the front of his stable door so a draft doesnt come under the door....

Have loads but cant think of them right now will come back to this one....

Ohhh the half Knob-strap horses come to mind........ lol


----------



## Trinity Fox (23 January 2013)

Thank god I am on my own yard with my parents so you can guess that supplies a whole load of other issues .

If I really need to see strange horsey people I just look at facebook, I do wonder is it real or an experiment.


----------



## Shantara (23 January 2013)

There's a lady on my yard.

Every time I ride Ned she looks at me like I'm evil, while she runs around with her pony, playing weird games (I know, I'm not one to talk, but I bombproof Ned, I don't even know what she's doing!!). Pony is becoming dangerous and while he's a sweetheart over the fence, I'm quite scared to go in the pen with him! He even chased my mother (no doubt a result of being made to chase this woman)
She says she's done horse psychology, but I see no improvements in this pony. It's quite sad, he's a gorgeous little thing who could be a brilliant in-hand show pony. 

She also insists on trying to talk to me for hours on end and pesters my heavily preggers friend (2 weeks left!!!). It makes me wonder!


----------



## Chestnuttymare (23 January 2013)

we had one livery who was completely mental. she was explaining to her dog about the mains electrical fencing. she was switching it on and saying, that's it on, then jumping like she had been shocked, then switching it off and saying and that's ok. she must have repeated that half a dozen times. nearly wet myself.

 she asked me if the hay steamer was meant to be on, it was another liverys who wasn't there that day. i said no, she said she thought it was on. i told her it couldn;t be as it wasn't plugged in.  she was still adamant, had a surreal conversation about it,  i had to go over and show her the plug and that it wasn't in the socket. she still wasn't sure.

 she was also nasty, i was schooling and she had her dog jumping on and off some jumps to try and freak my horse. another day we were cantering in the school and she walked in almost under her feet and proceeded to walk across the school. we had to take evasive action. when talking about children and that someone had a toddler but was quite a violent type, i had said that i don't hit my son, dog or my horse, she said that really they all needed a good battering now and again.  she also caused a lot of problems with her nastiness and lies, she was mad as a box of frogs.

 I had someone else tell me i couldn't get my hay from a particular farmer as he was HER farmer! she also told me i wasn't allowed to speak to the people at the property next door because she didn't like them. why are loads of horsey folk mad?


----------



## kellybee (23 January 2013)

I will hold my hands up and admit I've had a reiki lady out to my horse. She told me a lot of stuff that made perfect sense to the amusement of my livery owner!

My boyfriend thinks it's pretty funny that I talk to my horses, although he does too. He's more along the lines of "Dude, really?" when they sneeze on him or "Come on Alf, where'd you hide the labrador?" (shetland didn't come when he whistled them in the dark).


----------



## Littlelegs (24 January 2013)

When I was a kid there was a lady with two horses on the yard. The horses lived in the lap of luxury, the absolute best of everything & always got anything new, like the first stable rugs as opposed to jute, regular back, saddle & teeth checks back when it was unheard of, the first person to use mixes or supplements, loads of expensive tack. Even had a new horsebox with live-in despite only hacking to local shows. Yet her husband, kids, & herself lived in dire poverty. The kids were only toddlers & from what I remember just whinged a lot. It was only when I got older other adult liveries told me the kids didn't even have decent coats or footwear, other adults on the yard provided essentials & worried for their well being. The kids would have 'toys' like a piece of baler twine as a skipping rope, & dreadlocked hair that every so often would have the plaiting band moved up a bit in, while the horses had more spent on them than a millionaire would. 
   Other freak is someone who talks in a baby voice to her horse. As in 'who da clever man? Does mummys ickle boy want to have a sleepy in his stable cos the field all wet & cold on da boys tum tum. Does him wike his din dins? Mummys boy was hungwy baba. Oh baby boy, was him in a wush to go playtimes with his ickle friends in da nice field?' And so on ad finitum, usually while mummys little man is barging & carting her all over the show. Same nutter also told me I needed to have a word with my mare. My mare is top dog, although not aggressive or a bully. There was a loose dog in the field, her horse was lay down, my mare rounded up the horses, including him, & chased the snapping chasing dog out. In the course of this she made said horse get up & stand in the herd. But, according to nutter woman, she should have left him sleeping cos 'she should have seen his mummy was on the way to save him from the doggy'. 
  Tbh, I've met countless nutters, most of which are harmless. Or downright deranged in a selfish cruel way.


----------



## luckyoldme (24 January 2013)

read and re read the whole thread..going to bed now safe in the knowledge that no one seems to be describing me yet.


----------



## JennyNZ (24 January 2013)

The lady who told me she could "read" my horses over the phone.


----------



## patchwork puzzle (24 January 2013)

I was on a yard once where another livery had been given notice to leave. We had got on alright all up to this point but on the morning that she had been told to leave I tried to speak with her (didnt even know she had been given notice at this point if I remember correctly) and recieved a tirade of abuse culminating in ' You cant be friends with me and friends with them, if you're friends with them, then i'm not going to be your friend anymore' I was actually quite upset and shocked at the time but my god......it sounds like a pre-schooler, but she was in her 40's and i'm in my 30's!!! 
 I didnt keep in touch after she had gone but will talk politely with her if I bump into her.


----------



## FaldingwoodLivery (24 January 2013)

I had a livery (now asked to leave) who could top the weirdest of weird, I actually thinks she needs to see a professional! Don't want to go into details as she is most likely monitoring every post I write on here but let's just say, constant lies, made up friends, made up life, made up Facebook profile she used to message me and other people she's fell out with.......weird!


----------



## riding_high (24 January 2013)

one person on the yard (who's now left!) was such a control freak and a nasty piece of work that we had numerous fallings out.
one day i was driving into the yard and this person was walking to the car park with her instructor who i know well, she waved to me and i waved back, i got out the car and she shouted over to me asking how my horse was. 
after she left the nasty person marched up to me ranting and raving saying i had no business talking to any of her friends. after listening to her rantings for a few minutes i just said "are you that desperate you need to pay people to spend time with you?" she said no, ***** is my friend. the next day the "friend" came back to give her husband a lesson but left straight after the lesson to come and talk to me, we had a cuppa and a catch up then she went home. the nasty person was disgusted and everytime someone came onto the yard after that she would literally grab them in the hope they wouldn't talk to me! lol


----------



## Janah (24 January 2013)

I read this thread with trepidation. I was worried I would be described, but would I recognise myself anyway, gulp!


----------



## annaellie (24 January 2013)

I was on a yard with a nasty piece of work, I was riding in the indoor school and she returned from a show and came in and stated she needed the school to turn out in. I told her I'd be an hour but was not going to get off so she could turn out. It turns out the pony had been kicking at its belly at the show she took it that it was being naughty so wanted to put in indoor on return and chase round school :eek :
Pony actually had colic which she blamed me for by not letting her chase in the school.

Further investigation found the pony was riddled in tumours so was PTs but for weeks I had nothing but abuse from her stating I killed her horse

Another one while I was on livery was a guy on the show jumping circuit had a number of horses in the yard. His wife was in jumping arena and said horse stopped and she fell, he picked a large plank of wood up and beat the living day lights out of the horse, then went after the woman. Very odd I didn't witness it but it was all over yard I thought it must be an exaggeration until I seen the police arive so there must have been some truth to it.


----------



## annaellie (24 January 2013)

ETA that's supposed to be a angry face not a grin


----------



## eatmyshorts (24 January 2013)

Once had a nutty YO who moaned about the smallest of things - but they were so ridiculous, she seemed embarrassed to say them to your face. You would speak to her, leave the backroom/yard, come back half an hour later and find you' d been left a note. Eventually we got so fed up our daily telling off, that we did a moonlight flit with our five horses......... and...... ahem... left her a note!


----------



## GlamourPuss86 (24 January 2013)

Christ! Makes some of the nutters I know seem downright normal!!


----------



## 056775 (24 January 2013)

LittleGinger said:



			I know LOTS of strange horsey people - myself probably one of them  - but they are all lovely. Utterly insane, but lovely 

When I was a teenager I was next door to a lady who treated her horse like her son. Now... I 'baby' my horse and use nicknames and I chatter away to him all the time, but she would have full blown conversations with him (although they were rather one-sided).

As in, my chatter:
"Come on boy, let's get this rug on. Cold tonight! New rug - stay away from ***!"

Her chatter:
"Would you prefer the blue rug or the red one sweetheart?" [Pause]. "Is that the red one?" [Pause]. "Good choice! Let's put the red one on. Oh you're so smart... Let me see... No, look this way. That's it. Now, did I tell you about the new horse in the field? [Pause.] No? Ok... well, he rips rugs. So darling, what you need to do is - are you listening? - as I was saying, you need to stay away from him. He's the big bay one. Do you understand? Yes?"

This really was constant - she would even apologise to him if someone 'interrupted' to say hello or ask her something. She was totally batty... But you know what? She was harmless and her horse wanted for NOTHING so I loved hearing her really. If anything she made me chat to my horse more as I felt less self-conscious about it!  I lost touch with her and heard a few years later from someone else that her horse had died; cried my eyes out for her... 

Someone on here posted a fair while ago on a 'viewings from hell' thread about a lady who said she'd 'asked the horse and it didn't want to be ridden today' - made me laugh a lot but part of me did also wonder whether it was the same lady.

Then I've met plenty of crazy split-personality 'butter wouldn't melt/Lady Macbeth' types...  I steer clear of them!
		
Click to expand...

You have a way with words - that made me laugh out loud!! 

I do talk to mine and they have so many names I wonder if they get confused with what they are actually called some times...

Owned the one so long now we do practically have conversations and some times I have to look at him a certain way and raise my eye brows and sure he takes note!  

I want more stories of the batty old woman!!


----------



## 056775 (24 January 2013)

FaldingwoodLivery said:



			I had a livery (now asked to leave) who could top the weirdest of weird, I actually thinks she needs to see a professional! Don't want to go into details as she is most likely monitoring every post I write on here but let's just say, constant lies, made up friends, made up life, made up Facebook profile she used to message me and other people she's fell out with.......weird!
		
Click to expand...

Oh I know one of those... Did she have a made up husband and holidays etc too.... not sure if she had made up children

Thing is EVERYONE knew about the fake life - and whilst being lovely - made you doubt any thing you said so people stopped talking to her which was sad...

She was really kind - and like over 50 and had obviously lived like this for so long think even she believed it ;-(

I think all horsey people are a bit mad - me included!


----------



## glamourpuss (24 January 2013)

2 that stick out for me:

1 girl many, many years ago was my 'friend'. I didn't drive at the time so she would pick me up to save me having to bike, help with turn out/bring in & always seemed to be looking out for me & interested in what I was doing. However at the same time some very weird stuff was happening to me. Several times I entered events & when I called for my times a couple of days before I would be told that I had withdrawn. The withdrawal always seemed to happen after the point at which I would've got a refund as well  
Then I was reported to the RSPCA. Then someone pretending to be me called my vets as an emergency on a Sunday saying my horse had colic when he was fine. Luckily the vet called my actual mobile to tell me they were on their way. 
A couple of times I went into my stable in the morning & the bed was soaking wet & I mean soaking & squelching as if someone had turned a hosepipe on it & just let it run. It would have to be completely replaced. Bags of feed, bales of hay would just disappear. A brand new rug got slashed. All this happened over a year. My friend was always sympathetic when I got upset about it.
She ended up getting notice & having to leave over a different incident. Suddenly all the weird stuff stopped happening.
It was a few months later when another friend saw her out & she was drunk that she admitted it was her that had done it all. She thought it was hilarious & said it was because I was a stuck up bitch  

The 2nd one was far less sinister. An older woman who had a totally unsuitable horse. She was terrified of it & never rode it, ever. Now this fine & any horse is happy just to be a pet provided its needs are met ...which this one was. However this woman spent a fortune on this horse. Every latest exercise boot & bandage, saddles & bridles that were never even tried on, personalised numnahs this list went on & on. Every week she would turn up having bought more unneeded stuff for the horse. 
She also talked an amazing talk about the clinics & competitions she was going to. She even contacted some pretty top riders about training. To hear her speak you'd think she was pretty high level BD.
If you asked her what she was doing with him she would always say 'He's having a holiday he needs to grow up a bit' 
She would always be arranging to go hacking, putting her name down for lessons even paying for clinics & competitions. Then at the last minute she would cancel....usually because she said she hadn't had a chance to ride him before 
2 years I was on that yard & she had been there about 10 months before I got there & she didn't ride once not once. It honestly wasn't a question of she did but nobody saw her it was always 'well, he's just on a holiday at the moment' 
One time her tack was moved to another tack room (YO swears she was told at the time) She didn't notice for over 4 months! 
I've always wondered whether she honestly believed what she was saying & whether she really thought people thought that she did ride.....I really don't understand what was going on..., well apart from her being quite mad


----------



## Slightlyconfused (24 January 2013)

Knowing what they are feeding is really bad for them but feels sorry for them even tho she is morbidly obese and hardly gets worked and still feeds her because others are getting fed or its abit cold, no matter that the mare had a full coat and so much fat no matter how much you dug in you couldn't find the ribs!.......drives me nuts! Espically after what we went through with our lami.


----------



## Hot2Trot (24 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...

This is brilliant.  I havent laughed so much in ages.  Every time I think about it, it just starts me off again.

Poor horse.  Did he get to fulfill his fireman dreams?


----------



## Polos Mum (24 January 2013)

I think we are all a little bit mad - normal people do not get up a 7am on a Sunday and go and shovel poo for a few hours, normal people are not outside in February in the snow at 8pm at night going round and round in small circles, normal people do not well up with emotion when they manged to hack on their own/ jump clear round a course/ remember dressage test etc. 

That said there is more mad people around horses than average IMHO.  Best for me recently was a sharer I had for my horse now on loan - a few years ago we had loads of snow so the boys were in and no exercise for about a month. When she came back to start riding I asked her to keep in walk for a couple of weeks as they'd had so much time off - fine she said, that evening she told my husband she was going to ignore me and race around/ jump as much as she wanted when I was out so I wouldn't know !!!! 

I'm not sure what she expected my husband to do with that information but she didn't ride again after that - my view is it's my horse - my rules and if I say he has to wear pink hi vis boots in the school or can only be lead in a diamonte headcollar - so what !


----------



## Elbie (24 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...

This cracked me up. I literally had tears in my eyes.

Why would a horse want to be a fireman? Why would a horse know what a fireman was?!?!?!

Can just picture a horse imagining himself using a hose and climbing a ladder


----------



## 056775 (24 January 2013)

Keep these up - they very entertaining! 

;-)


----------



## HeresHoping (24 January 2013)

We had one that went a bit gaga.  She started off all right, but was very good at ensuring everyone ran round after her.  She had a Welsh Sec C that was forever getting out, and she'd see him do it and just leave, letting us run around after him.  Then she started to get a bit odd.  The highlight was her telling everyone in our small village that my husband and I were swingers with another couple who had a horse down at the yard.  All because we spent time with the other couple - we have children the same age, for goodness sakes.

It all got a bit nasty, actually, and she went completely off the rails - threw her husband out, ran off with another woman and then the other woman's husband, stole ££££s of money from the yard owner, glassed someone in the face in a nightclub for teasing her about riding a pony, the list goes on.

Glamourpuss, I thought for one horrible moment you were talking about me... Owning a horse for two years and never riding (I did, you know, I rode her for about 9 months of that time); getting another and not having ridden him since September 21st!

Sorry about the other nutter - that was nasty.

I chatter incessantly to my horse.  He's the only one who will listen half the time.


----------



## kerrieberry2 (24 January 2013)

I'm not sure there are many normal horsey people. Give me my own place all alone any day


----------



## Caol Ila (24 January 2013)

My horse was very unhappy at a yard she used to be kept at and the YO told me she thought it was because the horse was "too shiny" (horse had, and has, a very glossy coat) due to her "blood being too hot."  Um, what?

Another YO back in the US swore that she "invented" natural horsemanship and Monty Roberts, Chris Irwin, the Dorrances, et. al. all learned what they know from her.  Similarly, well known dressage riders apparently came to her for lessons, but I never saw any at the yard the whole summer I was there.  She also used to shout at me for leading my horse around without a stud chain, arguing that if something were to spook the horse, how could I stop her in a normal halter?  In addition, she could pick apart any aspect of your horse handling, from leading, to cleaning feet, to riding, and tell you some anecdote about how someone she knew had been doing it just that way, and then the horse freaked out and the person got horrifically injured or died.  

On top of all that, she said she had another farm nearby where she kept rescued exotic wildlife -- lions and tigers and bears, oh my!  She was batsh ** t crazy enough for it to be true, or indeed, for it to be completely made up.  She had stories about taking her tigers for walks.  

The final thing, really (and I have surely written about this on here before) was I went home for two weeks (this was in New York; my parents live in a different state).  I asked her to ride the horse for me.  About halfway through my wee holiday, I phoned her, as you do, just to see how the horse was getting on.  She told me she had the vet out to test my horse for EPM.  WHAT???  (for those who don't know, it's a neurological disease that exists on the East Coast of the US and they get it from opossums.  The symptoms include loss of coordination, falling over, etc.).  I asked why and she said my horse was stiffer to the right than to the left.  Well, I said, aren't most horses stronger to one side to the other?  She told me that more horses have EPM than are ever diagnosed.  It's like diagnosing a person with MS because they only use their right hand for writing.  The vet had pulled blood and guess who had to pay for that blood test I never asked for?  Not impressed.  

A person who kept her horses at another livery yard I used to be at once, after falling out with her horse -- not an uncommon occurrence -- said to me, "Do you know why the parade horses for the military are so well-behaved?"

"They're trained?" I suggested.

"Yeah, if those horses misbehave, they're tied up for three days without food and water."

"Uh," I said, "I really doubt that."

"No," she answered, "It's true.  That's what they do."

Okaaaay.


----------



## sport horse (24 January 2013)

One livery I had here some years ago ( an adult lady holding down a high powered job) She arrived with her cob that was lame on all four legs. I was told to feed it on Meadow Hay as that was higher protein than seed hay. When I queried this I was told that she had her Riding Club Phase 1 qualificiation so she knew everything! (Worrying?)

I was also told that her horse liked to wear red as it suited her!

She also told me and the person with me that we did not know what we were talking about when I discussed feeding with her - problem was the person with me was my eqine vet and incidentally I passed my Pony Club A test in a previous life!!!!

Fortunately livery moved house and removed her horse which saved me the trouble of evicting her!!


----------



## daisydoo (24 January 2013)

One springs to mind, you know the type, the complete fantasist who has done 'everything', broke in various wild horses and has survived some seriously nutty horses to tell the tale.. But when observed are not very confident around horses at all...


----------



## never to old (24 January 2013)

daisydoo said:



			One springs to mind, you know the type, the complete fantasist who has done 'everything', broke in various wild horses and has survived some seriously nutty horses to tell the tale.. But when observed are not very confident around horses at all...
		
Click to expand...

Oh yes, there still around...


----------



## Loulou2002 (24 January 2013)

My first liveries ever......god knows how it didn't put me off, were a mother and daughter. 
 Daughter (in her 20's) had a coloured pony of about 13.2 but was told it was two and it would grow to 15.2 (it actually turned out to be 4 years old) and mother had a sensible black cob.......first horse and never rode it once the 3 months she was at mine. 
  Anyway i got so sick of telling them their horses had no water in their field,they really took offence to it.... bearing in mind it was july and they were living out. They decided to move to a different yard where they could just "leave them out to get on with it" and they could just forget about them!

I still wonder if the two horses are managing to "get on with it" filling up their own water buckets, poo picking etc etc.


----------



## LaurenBay (24 January 2013)

I did my work experience at a full livery yard and the YO was a nutter! I was 14 or 15 at the time, didn't have too much experience either. Apart from the RS Horses and Ponies. The other girl from my school had no clue whats so ever as she had never been around Horses before. 

When we got there she looked at us and said to me "you will be good as your very small and slim so must be fit" she then looked at the other girl and said "your going to be crap because your a big girl so will be slow and lazy" 

She told us to muck out with our hands only. Wasn't a problem as I borrowed some merrygolds  as did the other girl. She then said how weird we were for wanting gloves, we then had lunch and washed our hands before we ate. She again said how weird we were. Her hands were stained brown with Horse muck and she would lick her fingers clean  now I do eat at the yard, but not if my hands were THAT dirty. She used to send us to get the Horses in, while she sat in the tearoom. Most of the Horses were well behaved, but there were the odd ones who wern't as easy to handle (2 of them were hers) But she didn't seem to have a problem with us leading them  at the time I didn't think much of it. But now I look back, I wouldv'e been fuming if someone else had been handling my Horse without my knowing, especially as 1 didn't have any idea how to handle Horses at all. 

One day she dropped a Horse off and told us to get in the car. There was no space in the back (she had bedding there) so friend had to sit on that and I was in the front. She had 2 yard dogs, she insisted they came, the jumped on me and spent the whole journey barking at me and scratching at me. I asked her to sort them out and she replied "but thats their seat and your sitting on it" erm where else should I sit? the boot!! 

The day before she left she ordered 100 bales of straw and 100 of hay. She said that me and other girl had 10 minutes to move it in the barn and stack it, she could do that herself easily.  it took us hours  she then said to me "You will never have anything to do with Horses again, you are slow and weak" then said to other girl "you are very strong so you can work with Horses"

I am Horse mad and the other girl has gone back to having nothing to do with them.


----------



## Wagtail (24 January 2013)

I have had some strange liveries (all left thankfully!).

First one was a control freak who talked to me like I was his servant. He had a set date regardless of the weather of when his horse should wear a certain rug. It did not matter if she sweated or was too cold, the rugs were decided on by the date. I once changed her HW for her MW because she was sweating, and he gave me a good telling off. He developed an intense dislike for any field companion that I put his horse in with and demanded I changed it. Finally, when she was on her third companion ( a lovely sweet natured mare) I refused to change her again. So he started taking bags of food into the field and feeding his horse and chasing off the companion quite aggressively. He accused the companion horse of trying to run him down and kill him. Finally, when I caught him throwing things at the horse, we asked him to leave the yard and gave him a month's notice.

Another livery bought an ex racehorse out of the field. He was in a sorry state when he arrived here, and we fed him up and she would spend at least three hours a day just stroking him whilst he was tied up. She also travelled an hour each way to come and do this. She never tried to ride him. As time went by he became more and more difficult to handle. I had him on full livery and so the problems were affecting me. She would frequently let go of him and he learnt to bolt whenever being led. He would rear up and barge you over. He hurt me no end of times, but all offers of help were refused. The only time he became better was when I persuaded her to let me lunge him a few times and he became lovely to handle again, but soon reverted back as soon as she took over. She moved after a couple of years to somewhere that was closer to where she lived. The new yard owner rang me up a couple of weeks later asking what the **** she was up to with this horse. Did she always stroke him for hours every day etc?

I had another one who seemed sane to start with, but overly friendly and familiar. She gradually caused disharmony in the yard, frequently falling out with other owners over the silliest of things and phoning me in tears and screaming how she could not stand it etc. She did finally leave and the yard returned to its friendly atmosphere.


----------



## Janesomerset (24 January 2013)

Springy said:



			has a brush head across the front of his stable door so a draft doesnt come under the door....

"whispers"...I sweep a shavings "barrier" to stop the draft coming under the door...pony always lies down opposite the door and I'd hate to think of a draft on his tummy...
"slinks off back to padded cell"
		
Click to expand...


----------



## Ambers mum (24 January 2013)

The woman next to us would phone me any time of day if it was raining near her work and ask me to bring her horse in.  It didnt matter that I was at work or elsewhere.  I wouldn't do it but her old yard sharer would rush up there abandoning her shopping or even once a hospital appointment.  She no longer speaks to us and we have issues with her for three years now lol.


----------



## Crugeran Celt (24 January 2013)

She told us to muck out with our hands only. Wasn't a problem as I borrowed some merrygolds  as did the other girl. She then said how weird we were for wanting gloves, we then had lunch and washed our hands before we ate. She again said how weird we were. Her hands were stained brown with Horse muck and she would lick her fingers clean  now I do eat at the yard, but not if my hands were THAT dirty. 

That has made me feel quite sick, very weird. I do muck out with my hands as I find it easier but I DO wear very good gloves.


----------



## MikeyLikey (24 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...

Wish there was a like button, this really cracked me up!


----------



## tankgirl1 (24 January 2013)

Hmmm... well there was the woman who accused me of not knowing what I was on about, and of mistreating the horse because I changed farrier and arranged for back man and saddler (it was lame). Oh and I was cruel to take it off sugar beet because everyone knows that its the sugar beet that keeps a horse warm in the winter  Now I know I'm no expert but wtf?

This is the same woman who has had her tb x in the same HW turnout since September, and who managed to put a pair of brushing boots on upside down and back to front.....


----------



## Mongoose11 (24 January 2013)

I was really quite friendly with one lady.... Went to view a project horse with her and was there on every visit, she forwarded emails from the owner so we could talk it all through as I would be taking on her other mare if she got this one....

Things went wrong, we fell out, over the next year or so I heard the tale of the new horses arrival many, many times... Told to the farrier, back lady, friends etc. apparently horse was virtually wild when she got it, couldn't be touched (I was there when she rode it within 15 minutes of meeting it when we visited). Beaten by traveller owners, she had to learn to communicate with it...... BONKERS.

Same woman weaves her own Hay nets, when I left the yard I had to 'take' one with me just for the memories and smiles it raises!


----------



## YorksG (24 January 2013)

At one livery yard we were at years ago, the very dodgy husband of one of the liveries used the yard as his alibi, when questioned by the police about a criminal deception. Unfortunately for him, the day he picked was Easter Sunday, the two police officers, the teacher, the district nurse and the social worker who liveried there all knew he hadn't been near the yard that day  The police took a lot of statements about it. It was even funnier as the YO's live in housekeeper was the sister of a member of the Serious Crime Squad


----------



## Stacy_W (24 January 2013)

My lodger is a bit of a strange horsey person.  She's "had horses for years" and ridden numerous types including one that reared when you tried to get on it and "you just had to get on quickly"!! However, when she met mine she squealed when they walked in her direction (they're both OAPs) and when I asked her to put a rug on, she wasn't sure what to do with the leg straps!  She thinks dressage is painfully cruel and horses should be ridden without bridles.  Or saddles.  The worst thing is she's a Parelli fan and I have to politely listen when she talks about it.  I don't mean to offend but I've had awful experiences with Parelli!


----------



## GlamourPuss86 (25 January 2013)

I know one like that stacy! Thing was my horse took great delight in leaning and snorting over anyone who seemed scared of him!


----------



## holeymoley (25 January 2013)

what a lot of nut jobs about.

That reminds me of one woman we had at a previous yard. She had been to every yard in the area and got thrown off. My YO took her in as felt sorry for her and thought she could help her.  She had a 2year old Arab cross called Kel I think   she had no experience what so ever but was into Parelli and shebmummified her horse, in a baby way as some of you others have described. The horse was getting bigger and took th absolute mick out of her, so it wouldn't lead or catch from the field. She decided she wanted to put it I'm foal 

One day someone tried to help her with something I think and they got dogs abuse. She'd done something with hay if my memory serves me right and the woman that was in charge of the yard went down to talk to her and she pulled a knife out!  she got told to leave and we later heard that she had been an alcoholic and had ran her husband over !! 

From my first post, the woman in that wont allow her horse near anyone else's. it's field is on the other side of the yard and if its tied up and a horse goes by(with loads of room) she runs out to it as if its going to get eaten alive?!   She also re ties her haynet at least 6 times in the evening before she leaves. Yes I have counted!


----------



## Ilovefoals (25 January 2013)

A yard I was at had an alcholic livery who was always turning up to see to her horse drunk.  It would frequently appear back from a hack riderless cos she had fallen off in her drunken state.  The final straw was her driving up to the yard very drunk one day and attempting to load said horse (fat, unfit and wearing a hackamore made out of a bike chain) into the trailer to go to a hunter trial.  Some adults at the time had to wrestle her car keys off her and she was driven home.  When she left shortly after, we gutted out her stable and found a dozen empty vodka bottles hidden in the straw banks!!!

Another was a married couple (different yard), who would go to the field together to catch their horse and be gone ages.  Turns out they were having sex in the field shelter, completely unaware that the neighbouring farmhouse had a perfect view


----------



## 1stclassalan (25 January 2013)

Wagtail - have we met in a previous life? Have I been on your yard in some sort of parallel world?
Hahahaha. 

I can relate to many of the "types" outlined above - but isn't it funny how many of them that seem to be - over familar/ friendly to start, and then display manic or phsychotic behavior!? Very sad actually, in that some seem to trying to live out a dream they can never fulfil and there's a poor horse stuck in it with them!

I started out in Madsville! All my gang ( 8 - 9 years) used to hang about a yard where an old girl kept three or four horses and a pony or two - all of them had mental problems brought on by the way they were kept. The home yard was a domestic back garden literally filled with Ford tractor export boxes - they were the "stables" I once spent a wet afternoon pulling out proud nails! The horses were in most of the time apart from when they were hired out - by anyone!!! 3/6 an hour - pay up and off you go. Us lads would try and work our way to an hour out.  One by one, all my mates fell off or were kicked out - if you know the words of Elton John's Brown Dirt Cowboys - that's the picture absolute heaven. Once, I took her completely mad TB for an early bite down the lane only to have him turn and take the bits out of me - he gave me both back feet too and I still have a lump on one collar bone, of course I let him go and was berated for so doing - I've never let another one go or taken one out I didn't think I could control  - I also learned to eat horse poo on my fingers and loved it. 

Later on I met an old farmer where we liveried our first pony - he'd clear his throat and spit on the floor in front of anybody but scream across the yard at people for being "Higgorant"!

How about the guy who trained princess soandso "for free so that all her f*ing stupid friends would come" this said while spraying his office with biscuit crumbs - I saw him attack a livery horse because of the owner's misdeeds - slagging off his missus to me ( I hardly knew the guy!)  

A mother daughter duo that came to livery who fought like cat and dog - sometimes it was like one of those cartoons of a little cloud with arms and legs protruding - and swear!! And I've been on building sites half my life!

My last yard owner, where I not only stabled my mare for seventeen years but also worked as estateman for another ten - extremely unpredictable all the time, all over me one minute then badmouthing the next - said I could bury my mare on site and then reneged on the promise when she died - then sold up and never even said goodbye. To me, leaving that place was like a divorce - I'm still miffed.


----------



## holeymoley (25 January 2013)

Ilovefoals said:



			A yard I was at had an alcholic livery who was always turning up to see to her horse drunk.  It would frequently appear back from a hack riderless cos she had fallen off in her drunken state.  The final straw was her driving up to the yard very drunk one day and attempting to load said horse (fat, unfit and wearing a hackamore made out of a bike chain) into the trailer to go to a hunter trial.  Some adults at the time had to wrestle her car keys off her and she was driven home.  When she left shortly after, we gutted out her stable and found a dozen empty vodka bottles hidden in the straw banks!!!

Another was a married couple (different yard), who would go to the field together to catch their horse and be gone ages.  Turns out they were having sex in the field shelter, completely unaware that the neighbouring farmhouse had a perfect view 

Click to expand...


 I don't know if I'm shocked more at the fact there were empty vodka bottles in the straw banks or the couple that were at it in the field shelter!


----------



## gmw (25 January 2013)

All this and more! But the one that really drove me nuts was the one who always had done better, bigger, than you. If you had been show jumping, she would have been to Hickstead, if you had done a dressage test, she had done PSG. If you had a cold she would have pneumonia. Drove me nuts! Thank goodness I have my own place and don't have to put up with any of these nutters anymore. . Mind you miss them in a funny sort of way!!


----------



## Hippona (25 January 2013)

Once on a yard with a bloke who avoided chores at all costs....he would make a point of going into the field to poo-pick....then could quite clearly be seen lobbing his barrow over the hedge into the lane and re-entering the yard by the back entrance- unseen by YO.....


----------



## SatansLittleHelper (25 January 2013)

This thread is hilarious...makes me a bit scared about moving my boy onto a yard now..!!!!!


----------



## maree t (25 January 2013)

My OH always says you horsey lot are nuts. 
We were at a small place shared with two other owners. I had a little mare and this girl that I worked with had three. She started getting a bit odd with me and then rang and left me a message at home asking me to do all hers that night, muck out etc. I thought it was a bit of a cheek as I couldnt have said no if I wanted to but did duly go and look after all of hers aswell. When I saw her the following day I strangely expected her to at least say thanks. She never spoke to me again !!. She tried to make my life a misery and push me out of the yard but she ended up ;eaving . we had the stables ransacked. The rugs shredded off our ponies backs. Everything stolen that wasnt nailed down and some that was. We saw her boyfriends car parked up one day and could see our stuff in the back but the police said we had no proof. 

The other people that sided with her at the time because they listened to her lies all gradually realised what had really gone on. It turned out that the other owner had been told that I had been kicking and hitting her pony etc. 
Mad as a box of frogs


----------



## KidnapMoss (25 January 2013)

When I was little, there was a lady who lived with her mother in a filthy cottage, you know the kind where you would politely refuse a drink because the glass would be encrusted....anyhow, rumour had it she paid for her horses shoes, and hay (2 separate men) in, um, other ways....she had literally 30 horses and no one could ever understand how she afforded them....

Learnt later the rumours were totally true so it wasn't gossip!!


----------



## shoo (25 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...


----------



## Shantara (25 January 2013)

Caol Ila said:



			A person who kept her horses at another livery yard I used to be at once, after falling out with her horse -- not an uncommon occurrence -- said to me, "Do you know why the parade horses for the military are so well-behaved?"

"They're trained?" I suggested.

"Yeah, if those horses misbehave, they're tied up for three days without food and water."

"Uh," I said, "I really doubt that."

"No," she answered, "It's true.  That's what they do."

Okaaaay.
		
Click to expand...

I know where they got that gem from. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron! 
The bad guy (a military man) says, after Spirit has successfully thrown all his best riders off "Tie him to the post, no food or water for 3 days"


----------



## Cinnamontoast (25 January 2013)

Rebels said:



			Oh, and our next door neighbour buys bags of feed that are broken or spoilt for his scruffy herd , turns out they look quite good on Chudleys Original!!!
		
Click to expand...

Holy heck! 



JellyBeanSkittle said:



			Had one YO padlock horse in is stable because we had given notice and was out day to move - she didn't want us to leave.....!
		
Click to expand...

One of my old YOs did this and also tied horses up outside because he was annoyed at the owner! 

The school was locked because someone left one poo in there. 

One guy I knew took wet straw off the muck heap for his horse: yuck! And he caught his horse's wee in a bucket and threw it out to the yard. 

I know a serial non payer who has been on every yard and has now pretty much abandoned her mare, owing loads. Crazy people! 

An old YM used to write stinkingly awful notes on the board but would never confront the ones she directed them at, threats to throw people off etc. quite mad.


----------



## Ellen Durow (26 January 2013)

holeymoley said:



			Just curious to see how many other bizarrely strange horsey people are out there that you've come across!

   We have a woman at the yard who is strange to say the least.  We all have ample space for stuff yet, she takes all her rugs home everyday ! can you imagine the state of her car?!   She also sweeps the same patch outside her door to an inch of its life, so much so the concrete is wearing down. The other thing I seen her doing the other day was checking her bolts were done up by shining a torch on them, even though we have a substantial ray of light coming from the numerous light bulbs in the barn! 

 So c'mon lets hear yours 

Click to expand...

Not myine but my cousin tells the tale of a woman being disparaging about her (cousin's) gelding and asking about his breeding, Cousin was thoroughly "hacked off by the whole thing and said 

"He's a Hungarian Bitza and very rare in this country due to the strict rules about exporting them from the National Stud in Hungary."

"Oh yes", Said woman, very knowledgeably "My friend has one of them"

She was puzzled by the muffled snorts of laughter from on-lookers and really displeased when she was later talking about about "Hungarian Bitzas" only to be told that Bitza actually meant "Bitza this and Bitza that"!

Cousin's horse is a Heinz 57 but a sweetie with it.


----------



## ChwaraeTeg (26 January 2013)

:LOL: :lol:   Great reading and great characters  ...
  I am not sure if it was my misfortune to meet or not ..... an education I think ...
There are a few I have met over the years. The first was our first groom, ex-groom of Col. Harry Llewellyn. He was a star. The horses loved him, everyone loved him, with all his tales about Foxhunter in the 1950s ...... 
One possibly not so fortunate was an Instructor in our riding school who scared all the children away.....


----------



## Ellen Durow (26 January 2013)

Janesomerset said:





Springy said:



			has a brush head across the front of his stable door so a draft doesnt come under the door....

"whispers"...I sweep a shavings "barrier" to stop the draft coming under the door...pony always lies down opposite the door and I'd hate to think of a draft on his tummy...
"slinks off back to padded cell"
		
Click to expand...

And I say ""Please" and "Thank you" to my horse when he does as I ask. (Well I was taught to do so when I was a very little girl!)
		
Click to expand...


----------



## Hippona (26 January 2013)

Oh .....I do that too......"pick up lad, good boy......thankyou"
Guess that makes me the wierdo...


----------



## vieshot (26 January 2013)

An old YO I knew was crazy! She threatened to shoot someone's cat and regularly threatened to turn horses out on the forest. She had a nice 3yo advertised for sale who I enquired about. I messages her asking what the reason for sale was (pretty Normal Q) and she replied 'I've got cancer, is that okay with you?' odd thing is a friend knew her son well and she didn't have any such illness!?! Crazy bat.


----------



## Busybusybusy (26 January 2013)

Nicnac said:



			The horse whisperer who informed the racehorse owner that his horse didn't want to race; said horse wanted to be a fireman 

Click to expand...

This made me laugh....hate to thing what paddy would really want to be, though I think he's enjoying being a couch potato at the moment!!


----------



## Vanner (26 January 2013)

years ago a new girl came onto our yard .. she had just bought her first horse, a 3 year old just broken pure arab.  She went to a local auction and bought it a set of tack - cheap foreign leather, including a saddle and a complete bridle with a pelham bit.  She then proceeded to put the pelham bit on the said youngster and started to work it ... met her again a few years later, she still had the arab but didn't do much with it as she "had little control and absolutely no brakes!".  

Now I wonder why, only 3 year old I'd ever met to be to start his education in such a hard bit .. and she wouldn't hear from any of us that it was a hard bit!!!

AND, the funniest .. the lady who bought an ex trotter.  It was a lovely horse, but only knew how to pace at high speed.  not a problem, this lady would stand in her stirrups and the horse would pace beneath her.  However, it was hilarious out hunting; middle of the pack, galloping across an open field and you would have this woman standing up in her stirrips whizz past on her trotting horse ... my god, but he was fast!  and it was funny and she did cause quite a stir within the hunting fraternity!!  but she took it all with such good humour and loved that horse to bits.  She kept him right to his end of days ... RIP Pacer, you lovely, funny horse!!!


----------



## Vanner (26 January 2013)

Ellen Durow said:





Janesomerset said:



			And I say ""Please" and "Thank you" to my horse when he does as I ask. (Well I was taught to do so when I was a very little girl!)
		
Click to expand...

and me, and me!!  well it costs nothing to be polite, and my horse seems to appreciate it!!!!  LOL!!!

Click to expand...


----------



## lillith (26 January 2013)

I say please and thank you to horses, and sorry if I make a mistake that affects them. I am pretty clumsy by nature so occasionally I slip and knock them or fumble a buckle or something - oddly enough I have worked with some pretty headshy horses who adjusted to this very quickly, it was like they knew it wasn't deliberate. 

In some ways it is more for me than for them - it's about making sure that the way I think about them is as a sentient being which needs to be respected as one (not that I think that people who don't chat to their ponies don't). Weird I guess .

I have known some pretty funny ones though, there is a classic version of a certain kind of Arab owner which I have come across a couple of times and heard many tales of. Buys a young and very very pretty, often well bred Arabian, buys every single bit of kit in matching colours, feeds it on competition mix or similar and does absolutely nothing with it other than pat it and occasionally 'loose school' (read stand in the middle of the arena looking bemused while it farts it's way around with every single available boot on). Lets it get away with murder using the 'she's young' excuse even when the horse is now 8 or 9 or the 'she's an Arab they're SUPPOSED to be energetic' excuse. 

Of course there is another sort of Arab owner who is possibly nearly as nuts  - turns out her ridiculously fit, barefoot Arab in all weather until it grows a coat that makes people ask where she got a Welsh A so big, rides in all weather in a synthetic saddle and an outrageously colourful synthetic bridle. Usually an endurance rider. 

I have to admit I think the second type probably has more fun - I aspire to be one (probably with an ArabX though - pure breds can be expensive) when I can afford a pony of my own.


----------



## holeymoley (26 January 2013)

I say sorry if I stand on his hoof  lol and thank you when he picks up his hoof.


----------



## Madam Min (26 January 2013)

Met some right strange horsey people in my time! One of the oddest was a oldish lady who use to spit on the radio that was in the indoor school, she said she did this to get it to work!


----------



## Barney&Buzz (26 January 2013)

I say sorry if I bump into them etc and please when I ask them to move over in the stable etc, I frequently talk to them, and the full liveries that I do at work, so they get some human interaction when they're owners don't come up.


----------



## Crugeran Celt (26 January 2013)

There was a girl on a yard I was on many years ago who had a lovely hanovarianx youngster that she had bought to bring on herself. We had never seen her ride but she told us she had backed lots of horses and she had done a bit of everything such as jumping and xc since she was a child. She was very capable handling horses from the ground and very confident even with strange horses so we believed she must have been just as capable on them. She asked to ride out with us one day as she said she had been working with her horse, none of us had seen her ride him, and was ready to hack out. There was me on my little 14hh sect d, my MIL on her 20 something arabx and this girl. All was going well and we decided with her in agreement to trot up a lane, only walked up to this point, as we started trotting with us in front and her behind she started screaming her head off for us to stop as she couldn't hold him. We stopped and then had to wait for her to catch up!!!! She never rode out with us again and told everyone else on the yard that we were mad out on a hack and galloped everywhere.


----------



## Pedantic (26 January 2013)

I talk to my pony all the time, only way to get an intelligent conversation on this planet.


----------



## Pedantic (26 January 2013)

Ellen Durow said:



			Not myine but my cousin tells the tale of a woman being disparaging about her (cousin's) gelding and asking about his breeding, Cousin was thoroughly "hacked off by the whole thing and said 

"He's a Hungarian Bitza and very rare in this country due to the strict rules about exporting them from the National Stud in Hungary."

"Oh yes", Said woman, very knowledgeably "My friend has one of them"

She was puzzled by the muffled snorts of laughter from on-lookers and really displeased when she was later talking about about "Hungarian Bitzas" only to be told that Bitza actually meant "Bitza this and Bitza that"!

Cousin's horse is a Heinz 57 but a sweetie with it.
		
Click to expand...

 LMAO


----------



## 1stclassalan (26 January 2013)

Thought I'd come back to admit to a few things myself. My mare was usually watching for me as my car/truck pulled up in the yard and as I opened the door she'd usually give a loud Huh-huh! To which I answer - "Hi Honey - I'm home!" - more whickering. ( Her name wasn't Honey btw, I'd just watched a lot of American films.) Once I had her in the box, I'd watch while she ate her hard feed and as soon as she moved on to her haynet, I'd groom out the tangles in her mane and tail while singing one of these:-  (apologies in advance to youngsters for the archaic choices!) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO_XnBm4PfE 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU-QExgydz0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyc6QyDaOBg 

Working around to her face called for this one:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY4uxdAt4-M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXK0JTed2G8

Exactly what she thought of my singing I don't know - opinion was divided amongst the other liveries but as I was usually the first in the morning and last out at night it didn't really matter. I was pedantic to the point of an ROD about the good night ritual; indoor door shut, bolt on, everything out, rug check ( despite just being checked ) water buckets full, handles turned to the wall ( in case tail swishing could catch and the pulled out bucket frighten her); outside door shut, top bolt, bottom bolt done, check; now does she need the top door closed??? Hmmm decisions.... Who else in the world goes through things like this but Horseypeople?


----------



## mandwhy (26 January 2013)

Aww I love the good crazies, they make life brighter! I talk to my horse a lot especially walking past something scary like loud traffic, it makes a big difference so I don't care if I look batty. I always find it weird in films when they don't really acknowledge the horse or pat it or anything! 

I really do think horses attract people with mental health problems, I don't mean this to be offensive but there seem to be an unusually high frequency of this sort of thing that you wouldn't see in most other hobbies! 

The bad crazies, well I hope I never meet any of these people as it can be a very hard situation to get out of :-/ 

I do know of a few people who are best kept at arms length and observed from afar, but they are harmless as long as you don't get sucked into trying to sort out their drama filled lives too much!


----------



## Nerys&Tully (26 January 2013)

I met one woman who after she rode one of her horses got her groom to put a bucket under the horse after untacking it and whistle to it to make it wee in the bucket because she didn't want it seeing in its stable!! Very strange as it had been in the stable most of the day and all night... Poor horse!


----------



## Spotsrock (26 January 2013)

I think i'm my yard's crazy. Pottering along on jekle and hyde horse that is b2 today singing to tune of popeye the sailor man, 'i'm beetle the grumpy bum, I go hacking with my mum, I pull nasty faces but i've got nice paces, i'm beetle the grumpy bum. I'm beetle the grumpy bum, I just want to have some fun, I like to buck and I don't give a *cough*, i'm beetle the grumpy bum.'                I always talk to them. Bodged it last time I went jumping and yelled 'Sorry' as pony bailled me out and jumped it anyway.


----------



## Springy (26 January 2013)

We were on a yard that if you got there first (any you werent allowed on the yard before 830am incase you woke them up  ) then you had to feed the whole yard.... so EVERYTHING had to have breakfast even the horses that didnt need it ie our Shetland!!!  It was a nightmare feeding the whole yard of about 30 horses before you did anything. 

Then the tack room key was only allowed between 10am and 7pm..... 

Funnily enough they struggle at keeping liveries for long!!!


----------



## Springy (26 January 2013)

Another yard we were at one of the liveries told everyone on a local horse forum that the roof had blown off the stables in a high wind..... erm it was a brick building and the roof deffo wasnt off nor did it have a hole in it 

Same woman also then told people the yard had been broken into and stuff stolen (it hadnt  ) and then the police had found all her stuff and she has to go and ID it (nowt was found as nowt was nicked) 

Same woman trots her horse around the yard inhand to keep it fit... rather than lunge it in the paddock coz it doesnt like circles and gets dizzy?? 

On the same yard the nutter prior to her used to mount her horse in the stable and then trot it past our horse stables with no hat go into the paddock canter round 3 times on the same rein (no walking at all) jump the jump on the top of the barrels 6 times on the same rein then trot up the road still with no hat to cool down and then shove the horse away for the next few weeks until it took her fancy to do it all again


----------



## riding_high (26 January 2013)

another person used to talk to her muck heap. she would take the barrow up to the muck heap and then ask it where it wanted to go on the pile. she would then tip it and pat it down and say things like there you go, you can make friends with such a horses poo etc etc.
or she would insist on us poo picking the fields twice a day. one day she marched up to my husband and told him he wasn't doing it good enough, got on her hands and knees and scraped it up with her bare hands, all the poo went under her nails. she would then go back to the tack room and get a cup full of mouse droppings off the shelf and tip them out, make herself a cup of tea in it and then eat a biscuits. she also kept a big chest freezer in the tack room which was full of meat joints which she would take home to cook.
this was the YO as well, we left there after a couple of months as she was completely cuckoo!!


----------



## Tiffany (26 January 2013)

How long have you got


----------



## Frumpoon (26 January 2013)

Too many to go into detail about but as a brief summary...

1. a couple of YO's who have threatened to put client's horses on the road as punishment for perceived slights by the clients

2. The ghastly groom at a well known showjumpers yard who stabbed my horse in the neck with a pitchfork....wellknown showjumper then proceeded to lie then get aggressive about it...I left

3. The YO who put me in hospital for complaining about shoddy care for my horse

I think horses attracts a lot of people who mistake kindness for stupidity...my present yard is fantastic and very well run


----------



## NativePonyLover (26 January 2013)

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:



			Had a livery here once who was into "natural horsemanship"; boy was she weird - when she started hanging Rose Quartz crystals around their necks really cracked me up totally.

OK, so someone is gonna now say "but it WORKS"............ ha ha bleddy ha.

A good thing to do if you really wanna meet some fruitcakes is to advertise your horse for sale or loan - that'll do the trick properly and you'll be positively infested with every oddball, fruitcase & downright nutter on the planet. 

If you don't believe me then try it and see 

Click to expand...

To be fair, I've just ordered some rhythm beads (partly as it might help us and partly because I think they might look pretty) ... and whilst I do practise NH, I don't see it as being any different to someone wanting a hand beaded blingy browband or something?! 

Mind you, I'm probably on someone else's 'weird' post for regularly turning up in the mornings in PJ bottoms to turn out and muck out before work (I don't sleep in PJ's BTW!), chatting to my pony, choosing to do Parelli and hanging beads around my ponies neck. Swings and roundabouts eh?! 

Definitely met some odd characters ... 

I was a grass livery at a private yard (about four liveries in total) which was owned by a semi-professional show jumper. Who routinely said things like 'I really hate having liveries around' and would make sly comments/digs, make you feel uncomfortable to be there ... and then wondered why I/other liveries left?! 

Then at a previous yard there was the livery that actually reported their head collar and lead rope set as stolen to the Police. Turns out another livery had bought their horse in as it was freaking out in the field at being left and put it by her feed bin.  

Then there was another livery that literally would only put matchy matchy on their horse/in their stable?! 

There's one or two slightly odd characters on my current yard ... but, it's a big yard and I don't have much to do with them, thankfully.


----------



## Tobiano (26 January 2013)

Hm...

Well what about the mad middle aged lady who has had more lessons than you can imagine but still looks like a sack of potatoes; who thought she would do well by buying a lipizzaner until came to her senses and loaned him back to his old owner and got a cob instead, bought a horse for her daughter so they could go on hacks together but then daughter didnt fancy hacking.  As her horse was a bit spooky when hacking alone she took to singing an entire Fairport Convention repertoire on hacks to 'relax' them both. Then just because there weren't enough horses in the family bought a 6month old colt with dreams of breeding from him.... (Think she has now seen sense on that one though)

... oh and had a brand new equitrek trailer for about 3 months before having to accept she couldnt reverse it and had to trade it in for a lorry.  Then deciding her horse didnt like that particular lorry because it was herringbone so traded that in (at a huge loss) for a rear facing instead.  

... who hardly has any time for the horses because of working full time but could probably have retired by now if not for the amount she spends on her horses, which probably works out an average of about £300 per hour in the saddle.

Oh yes and she does the please and thank you and mutters to herself when doing any yard jobs.  

...............   ok I admit it, its me


----------



## mandwhy (26 January 2013)

riding_high said:



			another person used to talk to her muck heap. she would take the barrow up to the muck heap and then ask it where it wanted to go on the pile. she would then tip it and pat it down and say things like there you go, you can make friends with such a horses poo etc etc.
or she would insist on us poo picking the fields twice a day. one day she marched up to my husband and told him he wasn't doing it good enough, got on her hands and knees and scraped it up with her bare hands, all the poo went under her nails. she would then go back to the tack room and get a cup full of mouse droppings off the shelf and tip them out, make herself a cup of tea in it and then eat a biscuits. she also kept a big chest freezer in the tack room which was full of meat joints which she would take home to cook.
this was the YO as well, we left there after a couple of months as she was completely cuckoo!!
		
Click to expand...

Oh wow, she sounds amazing! I especially love the freezer full of meat! 

I do talk to the robin that visits me at the muck heap to uncover worms, but I draw the line at talking to the poo


----------



## FfionWinnie (26 January 2013)

I've mentioned this before on here but my boss in my first job when I left school was a total nut job. I found some files with a whole load of time tables for feeding, mucking out, rooming etc, instructions and rules for a livery yard as well as a list of clients.  There were pages and pages of this stuff. 

The yard did not exist and none of the "clients" were real people, except me and my horse....


----------



## Mythical (26 January 2013)

Don't see what's crazy about half these people, the other night I was walking my horse round the school on foot going through a dressage test with her. 'make sure you don't cut this corner, Grace, otherwise it'll spoil that diagonal. Now don't forget we've got to trot as we hit the track then within four strides we have to walk so don't get ahead of yourself in that canter...'


----------



## overpopulatedzoo (26 January 2013)

loving these posts.  

only had my own lad just under a year, bought as a project (relatively unhandled 4yr old colt).  he lives out year round at a local farm with no others around him (with exception of a few months when i first got him)  but even there, not so much the mentalness but a lot of pettiness and comments about my "wild stallion" (always beautiful natured but now calm gelding )  glad i've got the place to myself now.  was fed up of every so often having to rectify something amiss with her horse.  

However, worked at a yard for a couple of years and yes i recognise a few of the characters described.  Happily the majority were the slightly nutty ones not thoseyou get worried about


----------



## Timmys Mum (26 January 2013)

love the thread! makes mine seem sane!

She has this TB (which are totally different from ALL other breeds of horses) that she appears to be scared of. She lies about everything. Hates children and old people, talks behind all our backs. Called me 'not very horsey' (i have 2 ponies and an NDHM) and gives out terrible advice ('dont get a companion, he'll get over it'). Everything I consider is a terrible idea, and i make a point of doing the opposite where possible. she feeds her horse packets and packets of mints everyday (he can apparently count how many are in a packet) and everything seems to set him off. because she never tells him off he bites. i've seen her riding on the road a couple of times, if her horse doesnt feel like it she gets off and walks for half an hour or so, and when me and a friend rode past he threw a fit and almost sat on a car. she's known as the mad post lady on her round apparently.

I talk to my ponies alot, serenade my 14.2 when cooling down in the school and tell them to 'be good' every night when i go home. I hate to think what people think of me!


----------



## Mrs Bradfield (26 January 2013)

gmw said:



			All this and more! But the one that really drove me nuts was the one who always had done better, bigger, than you. If you had been show jumping, she would have been to Hickstead, if you had done a dressage test, she had done PSG. If you had a cold she would have pneumonia. Drove me nuts! Thank goodness I have my own place and don't have to put up with any of these nutters anymore. . Mind you miss them in a funny sort of way!!
		
Click to expand...

I work in an office with someone like this- whatever you have done, they can better it, regardless of how mundane a topic! Drives me up the wall!


----------



## Springy (26 January 2013)

^^^ We have a Micky 2 s word (like poo) at work

If you have been to Ternerife he has been to Elevenerife


----------



## Dunlin (26 January 2013)

Elevenerife ^^ LOL!!

I've encountered many oneupmanshippers but the worst was the complete liar! We worked together and she told me about the horses she used to own, how high up she competed etc and she was the same as me, getting back into it with some lessons after a while away from horses. I let her join me for a shared lesson, she gave our instructor the same info about her experience and off we went. 5 minutes later she lost her balance in trot and fell out the side door. Both me and my instructor saw what happened but she made up an over animated story about being given a dangerous horse that threw her off. I was mortified. 

Another one was an instructor I had as a child, she used to pick up roadkill on our hacks to take home and cook. Great lady, taught me so much but incredibly odd dining habits!


----------



## Springy (27 January 2013)

Dunlin said:



			Another one was an instructor I had as a child, she used to pick up roadkill on our hacks to take home and cook. Great lady, taught me so much but incredibly odd dining habits!
		
Click to expand...

OMG YAK VOMIT bah rotting carcasses ewwwwwwwwww


----------



## Mrs Bradfield (27 January 2013)

Of course there is another sort of Arab owner who is possibly nearly as nuts - turns out her ridiculously fit, barefoot Arab in all weather until it grows a coat that makes people ask where she got a Welsh A so big, rides in all weather in a synthetic saddle and an outrageously colourful synthetic bridle. Usually an endurance rider. 

I knew one lady like this! Completely adorable, but completely batty


----------



## Keen (27 January 2013)

tobiano said:



			Hm...

Well what about the mad middle aged lady who has had more lessons than you can imagine but still looks like a sack of potatoes; who thought she would do well by buying a lipizzaner until came to her senses and loaned him back to his old owner and got a cob instead, bought a horse for her daughter so they could go on hacks together but then daughter didnt fancy hacking.  As her horse was a bit spooky when hacking alone she took to singing an entire Fairport Convention repertoire on hacks to 'relax' them both. Then just because there weren't enough horses in the family bought a 6month old colt with dreams of breeding from him.... (Think she has now seen sense on that one though)

... oh and had a brand new equitrek trailer for about 3 months before having to accept she couldnt reverse it and had to trade it in for a lorry.  Then deciding her horse didnt like that particular lorry because it was herringbone so traded that in (at a huge loss) for a rear facing instead.  

... who hardly has any time for the horses because of working full time but could probably have retired by now if not for the amount she spends on her horses, which probably works out an average of about £300 per hour in the saddle.

Oh yes and she does the please and thank you and mutters to herself when doing any yard jobs.  

...............   ok I admit it, its me 

Click to expand...

Kudos to you  Love it.


----------



## Rollin (27 January 2013)

Loving this thread.  

I had a young horse who proved to be dangerously aggressive and was returned to the vendor.  The breeder contacted me with all sorts of recommendations, one of which was an animal behaviourist who would send horse healing vibes if I emailed the photo to said expert.

I have since heard said horse continues to be a bully and has to be kept apart from others on his yard.


----------



## Dry Rot (27 January 2013)

I could tell you about the woman with a mare brought to visit my stallion....

.....but then I'd have to spend the rest of the day resting in a darkened room to recover my composure!

SIX phone calls the first day the mare arrived, then more or less the same every day for weeks...and weeks...and weeks....

Finally arrived, unannounced, in the middle of hay making between the showers, to remove the mare. It took her nearly three hours to get the brute to load!


----------



## 1stclassalan (27 January 2013)

After my mare died and various promises of rides fell through (as they usually do!) I took myself of for a regular fix at several different yards ( not wanting to commit to ownership again, immediately at least) and I found a lovely looking yard complete with groomed gravel drive and all th right sort of noises stemming from the large indoor school. Only block mounting was allowed and no one was to ride out before being thoroughly checked out by an instructor indoors - all wonderful, I though and booked myself in despite it being a good 40 mile one way journey.

Thus I was soon elevated to being allowed out hacking and would I like to join their Christmas Ride? This mark you, involved all concerned crossing a main "A" road by means of a traffic lighted horse crossing both ways - we all left trotted up the immaculate drive and even at this stage some of my compatriots were giving cause for concern, weaving, unable to steer and two in front kept allowing their mounts to pull them almost out of the saddle. By the time we reache the crossing I felt as though I was acting chaperon!

Out on a rolling common the trot became a canter and all of a sudden I realised that while there were the same number of horses with me all the riders were somewhere behind - including the Y.O.!!! I did a quick gather up and handed them off the soem walking wounded and then when to rescue a bloke who was face down in big puddle - I really did think twice before turning him over! Luckily his big puffa jacket had kept him alive. Unbelievable - but then.... none of 'em could get back on!!! I had to get off and give everyone a leg up... I had two hours of this! 

Gave them a miss and took up with a great yard in the Cotswolds that did a lot of hirlings for the Hunt - now that was something!


----------



## Autumn sonnet (27 January 2013)

So glad I now have my own yard! 

I did move to one yard where one woman immediately wanted to be my best friend ,  used to ring me every night ,  muck out my stables without me asking ( and I like mucking out ! ) and we eventually came to an arrangement whereby she would put my two out in the morning ( who are as good as gold )  and I would bring her two in at night and put them to bed . Unfortunately , due to her constant babying of them , and making excuses for bad behaviour ( they were both big 16.3hh creatures for goodness sake ! )  they had no manners whatsoever . One in particular you could only change his rug with him tied up really short to stop him either taking a huge chunk out of you , in which case he would try and kick you , or crush you against the stable . He was shocking , and frankly dangerous , so I took to carrying a short whip . All I ever did was use it as a barrier , and never ever used it , but it was enough to make him not try to hurt me .  

Next thing I know , I'm getting a phone call from this woman's husband , saying she'd locked herself hysterical in a bathroom , and it was all my fault , because one of the other liveries had mentioned me carrying this whip whilst changing this creatures rugs .  So I stopped doing them , and she got someone else to do it , who carried out her instructions to the letter , until the horse tore a chunk out of her throat and tried to trample her in its stable .


----------



## HashRouge (27 January 2013)

tobiano said:



			Hm...

Well what about the mad middle aged lady who has had more lessons than you can imagine but still looks like a sack of potatoes; who thought she would do well by buying a lipizzaner until came to her senses and loaned him back to his old owner and got a cob instead, bought a horse for her daughter so they could go on hacks together but then daughter didnt fancy hacking.  As her horse was a bit spooky when hacking alone she took to singing an entire Fairport Convention repertoire on hacks to 'relax' them both. Then just because there weren't enough horses in the family bought a 6month old colt with dreams of breeding from him.... (Think she has now seen sense on that one though)

... oh and had a brand new equitrek trailer for about 3 months before having to accept she couldnt reverse it and had to trade it in for a lorry.  Then deciding her horse didnt like that particular lorry because it was herringbone so traded that in (at a huge loss) for a rear facing instead.  

... who hardly has any time for the horses because of working full time but could probably have retired by now if not for the amount she spends on her horses, which probably works out an average of about £300 per hour in the saddle.

Oh yes and she does the please and thank you and mutters to herself when doing any yard jobs.  

...............   ok I admit it, its me 

Click to expand...

There's nothing wrong with making sure your horse knows all the lyrics to every song on Liege & Lief...that's not madness, that's just good taste


----------



## Purple_Alien (27 January 2013)

Mythical said:



			Don't see what's crazy about half these people, the other night I was walking my horse round the school on foot going through a dressage test with her. 'make sure you don't cut this corner, Grace, otherwise it'll spoil that diagonal. Now don't forget we've got to trot as we hit the track then within four strides we have to walk so don't get ahead of yourself in that canter...'
		
Click to expand...

 I think I might be the one one our yard!  I have the dressage diagram sheets, and can often be seen showing the horse the pictures and saying "right.... can you remember this!"


----------



## ShadowFlame (28 January 2013)

Met a few strange ones over the years. Only one really stands out, though.

I was about 14 at the time, on a DIY yard with a 17yo Welsh D who was on loan to me. We had a new livery move on, didn't seem too bad to begin with. She had a bright chestnut youngster. 

Couple of weeks in, I start noticing bright ginger hairs on my saddle (communal tack room, and I had a bay). This saddle was brand new, and belonged to pone's owner, not me. The only ginger horse on the yard was an unbroken 3yo. Permission hadn't been asked. I decided not to confront, but wrapped a wire bike lock around the saddle and through the saddle rack, purely for "security" purposes.

What happened? We started finding huge keyed scratches on my mum's car, on one occasion a metal allen key wedged in the tyre (as she moved off, it punctured). My Welsh suddenly developed a fear of lunge whips (was fine with them beforehand), I found him tied to the fence by his fly rug, he had chunks cut out of his mane, and binfulls of feed were going missing, along with bottles of mane and tail.

Needless to say we moved off shortly after. It's scary how some people react.


----------



## teasle (28 January 2013)

HashRouge said:



			There's nothing wrong with making sure your horse knows all the lyrics to every song on Liege & Lief...that's not madness, that's just good taste 

Click to expand...

But please dont lat your horse hear the lyrics to the widow of westmorlands daughter!


----------



## LittleMonster (28 January 2013)

i haven't had a really bad experience... some of these stories are wicked!

I worked for a yard (first job just finished college) got there the first day all normal.. then i started to notice 'yard manager' didn;t know that much... (not saying im Monty roberts..) but some of us noticed the horse she loaned looked tucked up.. ''what does tucked up mean?'' all things like that.. over fed her horse on competition feed never rode but it made it look shiny? then would say he was fizzy?

On her days she couldn't be bothered to walk to the end feilds (i was only paid for 3 hours work i ended up doing 12hours a day nearly...) to hay or take the oldies rugs off in the boiling weather.but on my day she'd check the CCTV to see if i had done it.. All the rules applyed to me not to her tho..

one day she said to me that i could do 'extras' for some extra money, which i did never got paid for that and im owed about £957, complained to the bloke who ran the yard who did give the foggist about it his sheep were his main concern. later decieded i wanted my money kept asking ectt nothing, in the end i quit and went up to finish off my last day, when she found out through a headcollar at me and stamped off because i asked if she needed help catching a horse that she kept throwing the headcollar at.. 

once i left i recieved a text off someone of the yard saying ''oh my god Becky, i can't believe your preggers...' i was like what?!?!? she was a bitmad and i think a natuarally B*tchy person.. and she was always nice to my face...

needless to say i have heard no one remains on the yard and she is the one of the only few left.. It was hell working there!!!! and i would never work in the horsey world agian.

(oh yeah she worked for a couple of riding schools and the RSPCA yeahhhhh right!!!)

Becky x


----------



## Samuelissimo (28 January 2013)

The crazies come out at shows - usually the local miscellaneous shows with a bit of this and a bit of that.  One lady sitting on her horse drinking a beer while waiting her turn to jump unhinged mothers ( not necessarily PC mothers either).  I remember one mother with teenage son, very unhinged.  We were parked next to their box, and everytime he returned, she would take over the horse, shrieking, agressive voice which would send the horse mental, then horse bouncing around, stirrups not done up while she yelling at horse to settle down.  I walked over while this was going on and ran up her stirrups and said to her that horses do not like loud voices.  Obviously mental, horse, son and husband all seemed perfectly nice but resigned to mum's behaviour, I guess.


----------



## Dizzy socks (28 January 2013)

ShadowFlame said:



			Met a few strange ones over the years. Only one really stands out, though.

I was about 14 at the time, on a DIY yard with a 17yo Welsh D who was on loan to me. We had a new livery move on, didn't seem too bad to begin with. She had a bright chestnut youngster. 

Couple of weeks in, I start noticing bright ginger hairs on my saddle (communal tack room, and I had a bay). This saddle was brand new, and belonged to pone's owner, not me. The only ginger horse on the yard was an unbroken 3yo. Permission hadn't been asked. I decided not to confront, but wrapped a wire bike lock around the saddle and through the saddle rack, purely for "security" purposes.

What happened? We started finding huge keyed scratches on my mum's car, on one occasion a metal allen key wedged in the tyre (as she moved off, it punctured). My Welsh suddenly developed a fear of lunge whips (was fine with them beforehand), I found him tied to the fence by his fly rug, he had chunks cut out of his mane, and binfulls of feed were going missing, along with bottles of mane and tail.

Needless to say we moved off shortly after. It's scary how some people react.
		
Click to expand...

Thats terrible!!


----------



## 1stclassalan (28 January 2013)

Samuelissimo said:



			The crazies come out at shows - ...... unhinged mothers .
		
Click to expand...

OMG yes! First place we were on had a crazy woman!! She was always buttonholing anyone who'd listen about little Missy ( her daughter ) and Bronc her amazing - hugely expensive ( but oh isn't wonderful we can afford it now hubby is doing sooooo well ) competition pony - (here picture a combination of Fury, Champion the Wonder Horse and Brahna ) stamping and pawing the ground and snorting while wheeling on lead rein between both of them barely contained. 

Oh we're just off to so&so show - Missy will be taking this one "All the way to Wembley" - thing was, the child didn't ride Bronc much and when she did it was on a exercise area where it used to dump her unceremoniously - the mother would then catch up the pony and literally kick her daughter around to the box punctuating the kicks with little gems like "will-kick,you-kick never-kick, learn-kick.

I tried to ignore it because you can get into a lot of trouble butting in to this kind of thing but one day when the girl did manage to get Bronc out of the front gate, he came back at the gallop without her and I managed to catch him. Very worrying as he'd obviously fallen - a short foray up the lane found little Missy with part of her leg bone out in the open. No helicopters or paramedics in those days so it was into a car up to the hospital. The mother tried to thank me for helping but I couldn't help telling her exactly what I thought. For godsake buy your daughter a donkey and if you want to live dangerously - do it yourself and not through your child!


----------



## keelind (28 January 2013)

Wowzers, this thread has kept me entertained through an entire shift at work  The over friendly/familiar and then later pure psychotic yard member is a dead ringer for someone I've been dealing with recently.  Luckily I think I'll spot the warning signs next time I encounter someone like that.  I don't have any corking stories myself, just some average run of the mill stuff you get in most places.  I had quite a sheltered life on my old diy yard it seems.

Just lately someone on the local horse communities' facebook group page has taken to buying riding gear from catalogues and trying to sell it more expensively from home  she tried to persuade me to buy several pairs of half-chaps even though I only ever wear knee high riding boots  when I said I didn't really have footwear to go with them she tried to tell me they'd go super with my riding boots and it didn't matter what footwear you used!


----------



## Girlracer (28 January 2013)

Before I moved up to Leicestershire I didn't think i'd ever met any, but I wonder now whether I was just young and my mum was shielding me from them.... because I have met too many in my short time away from home for that not to be the case!


----------



## sandi_84 (29 January 2013)

KidnapMoss said:



			When I was little, there was a lady who lived with her mother in a filthy cottage, you know the kind where you would politely refuse a drink because the glass would be encrusted....anyhow, rumour had it she paid for her horses shoes, and hay (2 separate men) in, um, other ways....she had literally 30 horses and no one could ever understand how she afforded them....

Learnt later the rumours were totally true so it wasn't gossip!!
		
Click to expand...

Heard a similar one from an extremely reliable source about a lady who after having work done on her horse by any male horsey person invites them into the house where there is a big bowl of condoms on the table.... I think you know where this is going 

I tend to do the whole "please and thank you" thing with my boy but it's generally done in a sarcastic way when he's not doing what I'm asking but I do talk to him lots and I catch myself apologising for accidentally bumping into him etc 

The worst one I've come across was the lady who ran a B&B and a tourist treking yard. My dad went up to ask if I could help out (being a horse mad teenager but I was too shy to ask for myself) and she agreed that I could indeed come and help with the horses and I'd get rides for free in return... fabulous? Not so much!....
She called me and the 2 other girls who helped out "the slaves" (even to other people) and we were treated as such. We had to do everything at the B&B from cleaning to serving guests (which wasn't in the arrangement), she was regularly horrible and abusive towards us, were made to go bracken pulling with no gloves on (which results in extremely shredded hands!) and at the oh so responsible age of 13 (the other girls were 11 at the time) were allowed to take the tourists out on hacks!  She told my best friend she wasn't allowed to sit on the quad because she'd brake it because she was too fat, she wasn't even overweight!
Her daughter was a lovely woman who got married while I was helping there and the girls and I were all delighted to get invites to the wedding reception which was to be held on the grounds in a big markee. So on the day we got dressed up nice and put on a little make up (as you do), one of the girls mum's even made her a dress specially. We turned up to be told by the crazy horrible bat that we looked like sl*ts  and to wash the make up off immediately! We were upset obviously but went and washed it off and went to the markee all excited to be allowed to be there for the lovely daughter only to find out that the horrid mother had only invited us to save money on serving staff! We had to serve all the guests their food and drink.
I fell off one day in front off some prospective riding guests who then apparently decided to cancel and I got a lovely shouting at for it being all my fault... I was riding one horse and leading another when the one I was leading unexpectedly stopped dead to eat grass and I got pulled off backwards... not that she was concerned about whether I'd hurt myself or not!
The final straw for me came when myself and one of the other girls asked if we could pay for the use of our favourite ponies, trailer and the guy who drove for a day so we could take part in a local gymkhana. Surprisingly she told us that since we'd worked so hard we could take them for free! 
We had a lovely day and between us came back with a fair few rosettes and the other girl got a big trophy for "best in show" or "overall winner" (can't remember but it was the major prize anyhow) with only a minor blip where some silly woman tried to squeeze her horse between mine and the horse in front (in the line up going into handy pony), her horse had a red ribbon on it's tail and there was clearly no space between me and the horse in front. Her horse kicked out and the only reason I didn't end up with both barrels in the chest or stomach was that my pony pulled me back when she tried to get out of the way and I only ended up with a little scar on my hip instead. I eventually got back on my pony at the end of the gymkhana and jumped a clear round in the practice area just for fun and to boost my spirits because I was quite sore and hadn't been able to compete for the rest of the show.
We got back to the yard and excitedly told the woman all about our day... she took all out rosettes and the other girls trophy from us  and she screamed blue murder at me for getting kicked and told me it was all my own fault  She displayed our winnnings in the B&B lounge for a month and then refused to return them and threw them away!  Needless to say after that I left and never looked back!
The nice lady who ran the gymkhana heard what happened and was appalled so she sent us both doubles of what we'd won but in even bigger sizes including the trophy and she sent me a little extra one for "being brave and getting back on" after getting kicked  She was such a lovely lady 
I had a load of fun on that yard with the other girls and the lovely horses but the lady who owned the place was an absolute b***h


----------



## 1stclassalan (29 January 2013)

On my last yard some of the quite lardy-da ladies were all having coffee and talking about certain parties that were going on in the village that invloved all the male guests putting their car keys in a bowl ---- I think most can follow that? However; I couldn't help but burst out laughing when the one I was closest to said "isn't awful? You might end up with a complete dog!" 

I got to drive a new BMW when I went - hahahaha!

I bought my mare from an extremely upmarket place - the owners were quite famous but the bloke thought that you should actually bow down in his presence. They started divorce proceedings as I moved in as a livery so witnessed some blazing rows in which they would shout and scream like Eastenders despite being on first name terms with the Royals. They also misused young helpers by promising rides that never materialised but of course the youngsters still came because they were hooked on horses and we did have some fantastic ones there. One day an irate father came in and lifted the bloke Y.O. off the ground by his neck while holding up against a wall and demanded answers to a few pertinent questions - rides for his daughter! I think the poor girl was sat on a horse for 24 hours! I also saw the same sort of thing develop over a dispute about a certain horse's ownership - seems like the owner had left him on the understanding Y.O. would sell him well but instead had hiredhim out for profit!


----------



## Skipadeedooda (29 January 2013)

I liveried at a really small private yard so I dealt with advertising and vetting liveries as owners weren't horsey at all. I had advertised a space and a lady called me up to say she was loading her horse up right away and would be at yard in 30mins (she was hysterical on phone). I replied with please don't do that, I was dressed on-route to a wedding. So I said I would meet her the next morning for a chat but please don't bring your horse as we have other people interested. She turned up told me how she had fallen out with previous YM (turned out to be a farmer she was renting field from) and decided her horse was better living in her garage....so she had been keeping it in her garage on a housing estate. I got told her whole life history a breakdown of everyone she's fallen out with and it's never her fault. Livery was £85 pm and she started asking if I would look after her horse in case she didn't have enough fuel to get up the hill in her Range Rover, she made a big thing about how steep the hill was and it wasn't fuel efficient (no love that's the RR not the hills fault). Needless to say we got someone else which didn't go down well. But recently found out she was at a really fancy yard and lost the plot so was thrown off for threatening the owner...poor wee horse. But she was definitely a psycho...think there's a shortage of normal horsey people of course all of us HH peeps are the exception &#128521;


----------

