# Bonding with our new pony - any suggestions?



## Cerries (17 October 2016)

Hi everyone!

Last question from me today - I promise!  

We got our new pony on Saturday, and since then I've been doing some basics with him - grooming, walking with him on the lead rein, just generally spending time with him.

My daughter broke her ankle on Friday (can't believe the timing!) so she can't ride for another couple of weeks. Although this was disappointing at first, I actually think it gives us an opportunity to start a little groundwork, and for us to get to know one another.

I'd love some suggestions for some simple exercises I can try with him, either in the field or in the menage? Or any other ideas for how I could use this time wisely to start building a bond with him? I'm looking to establish a good relationship with him based on respect and trust - not just give him a carrot so he likes me  

I've purchased 'Perfect Partners' by Kelly Marks, which I'm getting some great ideas from. But any other suggestions would be must appreciated!

Thank you!


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## Meowy Catkin (17 October 2016)

It sounds to me like you are doing the right things. 

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get a 'bond' quickly, it's quite a modern notion to have a 'bond' with a horse and some people do get overly obsessed by it. I would just take things quietly. Really you want the horse to understand your commands and to respond to them promptly and willingly. So you need to ask correctly and consistently. It is nice when they recognise you, neigh and come over. One of mine doesn't really do that 'big show' as she's quite shy, but I absolutely adore her and she definitely knows who I am and responds positively to me. Really that recognition of you as an individual is achieved by seeing them regularly over a period of time and preferably by being the one that feeds them.  

Spend time grooming (if he enjoys it), find his itchy spots and make sure that he's listening for things like walking on, halting and turning when you ask. This will give you a good set of basics that can be built on.


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## Sparemare (17 October 2016)

Agree with what Faracat has suggested and about not trying to force a bond.  Can I add not to feed from the hand, or treat your new pony.  Reward him with a nice scratch, but not with food.


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## Whizza (17 October 2016)

Sparemare said:



			Agree with what Faracat has suggested and about not trying to force a bond.  Can I add not to feed from the hand, or treat your new pony.  Reward him with a nice scratch, but not with food.
		
Click to expand...

Agreed! 
They soon start mugging you for treats!


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## Cerries (17 October 2016)

Thank you so much everyone! Some great suggestions here - I really appreciate it! 

I'm very keen to find other ways to treat him rather than food. My daughter gave him an apple on the second day we had him, but aside from that - I'm not going down the treat route. 

So far, I've spent time walking him down the lane - and he has been very responsive to my commands (great start!). I've rewarded him by giving him a rub, and talking to him lots. 

He seems to enjoy being groomed, although I posted in a different thread that he's kicking when having his hooves cleaned. But still - grooming is a tick! 

I know this will take time, and I'm not looking for him to become a 'best friend' overnight (if at all!). But I do want to start our relationship on the best foot possible - and start as we mean to go on


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## Amye (18 October 2016)

Agree with the others Re the bond thing - can take a while but don't focus on it too much.

Sounds like you've got a good start anyway, just doing groundwork where he's listening to you. Don't put too much pressure on him at first as he's still settling in. Lots of grooming and just spending time with him.

I'm going to put a different view for the treating - Have you thought about clicker training? So long as you do it correctly it shouldn't result in mugging for treats - I clicker train my boy and he loves it (he is very food orientated). You only need to do 5/10 minute sessions (keep them short and sweet when first learning). I find it really relaxing as it's all positive reinforcement, so there are no negative feelings or frustrations and as mine can be frustrating to ride sometimes, clicker training really gives us an enjoyable experience together. He now knows target training, to backup on command (with my voice and a hand signal), he knows 'follow' when we're in the school and we are learning to bow (also great for stretching exercises). I'm no expert in it but have been taking it nice and slow with him and he does not mug for treats. He knows that he has to do the correct behaviour to get a reward, he doesn't just get it from my hand. He's actually very respectable around food, when I first started training he had to 'look away' from me to get his reward, so he would be sniffing around me as I had a treat and as soon as he looked away, a click and a reward. He now ALWAYS looks away when I have treats or food and he wants it. When I bring his tea in at night he backs away from the stable door and looks away from me so I can place his bucket on the ground. 

If you have a search for 'Connection training' there's some good information on clicker training - it's not everyones cup of tea but I really like doing something positive with my boy. Eventually you phase out the treats a bit and you can even replace them if you find a good place for a scratch or something


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## Sparemare (18 October 2016)

Clicker training is great but I wouldn't suggest it for first time owners as it's important to get the timing right.


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