# This Just Shows How Non-Horsey My Mum Is...



## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

Well, had the vet out today to do Lady's and Buddy's teeth, mum's never seen it being done before so wanted to watch. It was all going went well, then suddenely heard my mum shouting
JADE!!! JADE WHATS WRONG WITH SASSY!?!?! WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?! WHATS WRONG WITH HER!??!!

".....Mum....Shes Rolling...."



Shes a funny one.
Does anyone else's parents say some dopey things?


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## jack9 (6 September 2010)

lol!...yeahhh... wht whole yard was in stiches..




"oh look.........he's wagging his tail"!!!!!!!!!  no mum hes swishing his tail. muppet


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## Montyforever (6 September 2010)

My uncle ..

"So are you going to race this one?"

About my 11hh welsh


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## Brontie (6 September 2010)

One of my particular favourites is the non horsey people that think the ponies, 10hh-12hh are 'baby horses', when in actual fact they're older than most the horses!


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## sally87 (6 September 2010)

"rupert's got squiggles"

my father meant strangles


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## piggyinablanket (6 September 2010)

My friends 5 yr old saw horse in a mesh rug and mask, and asked if he was a superhero horse.  lol!


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## City Mare (6 September 2010)

Mum:  Sounding puzzled:  Ooooh, he keeps lifting his tail up
Me:  Yup - He's blowing off...


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## Dobby (6 September 2010)

*really concerned* Mum: Why do some people put masks on their horses?

Turns out she was on about fly masks! She said it was cruel because they couldn't see and looked like ninjas


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

LOL!  These are brilliant!

Loving the 'wagging his tail' and 'Baby horses' Ones


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## VioletStripe (6 September 2010)

Haha! Love it 

The best one though was a girl at my school - she claims she has her own horse and can ride and is trying out for the England team etc etc..

"So yeah, we loaned my horse to a little 7 year old girl but he was too much for her and sprinted off. Then she fell off so they won't take him anymore. It's his fault really, at this home he had his own pool and hair salon!"

 Honestly!! xx


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## Paint it Lucky (6 September 2010)

Was at a show yesterday and very non-horsey dad came to watch.  My horse was tied up by the lorry eating a haynet, Dad commented that he's been eating all day and why was he not really fat!  I had to explain to him that hay is low calorie and horses need to eat lots!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

VioletStripe said:



			Haha! Love it 

The best one though was a girl at my school - she claims she has her own horse and can ride and is trying out for the England team etc etc..

"So yeah, we loaned my horse to a little 7 year old girl but he was too much for her and sprinted off. Then she fell off so they won't take him anymore. It's his fault really, at this home he had his own pool and hair salon!"

 Honestly!! xx
		
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LOL you should call her bluff and ask to go see her horse  x


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## VioletStripe (6 September 2010)

Oh, and another one!

Another girl at my school overhears me and my friend chatting about the stables we go to. She then goes "Oh wow, you ride as well?! My sister used to be an international champion and we used to own horses. I used to have one called Tango. He was tiny *gestures to waist* this big! But, I mean, he was definitely a horse and not a pony, just a tiny horse!"

I have no idea what she even meant by that and what she thinks a pony is but... okay!  xx


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

LOL Some People


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## smiffyimp (6 September 2010)

Ha, heres mine.... went to Burghley on Sat - told Mom. Had previously sent some piccies of our first ODE - i quote - 
"did you take Dennis to Burghley? How did he get on?"

You gotta love em


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## Spit That Out (6 September 2010)

My friend came up to see us for the weekend and after eating Sunday lunch asked if we should save any left over beef for my horse!!!

I told her horses don't eat meat where she laughed and said "just as well as it would cost you a fortune in steak"


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## babeandbessy (6 September 2010)

These are hilarious


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## VioletStripe (6 September 2010)

JadeyyAndLadyy said:



			LOL you should call her bluff and ask to go see her horse  x
		
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Oooh good idea!  One slight problem - I can't stand the girl!  xx


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## Cedars (6 September 2010)

The little boy I babysit for had a complete heart attack when Frankie snorted. "Hannah whys he blowing bubbles does he need a tissue?"!?!


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## Cello_song (6 September 2010)

My Dad has done lots of embarrassing things at horsey events, especially the first year I had a pony. The top two are...

- stood at the side of the ring watching me show jumping and when I got a clear round he turned to the woman next to him and said "she's ridden Everest Mon Santa, you know Roger Whittaker's horse" ! (I was lucky enough to know the lady who got Mon Santa when he retired from show jumping with MICHAEL Whittaker!) 

- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified! 

Although I shouldn't complain too much as if it weren't for Daddy, I'd have never been lucky enough to get a pony! We laugh so much at these things now - Dad even made a reference to these incidents in his speech at my wedding!


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## VioletStripe (6 September 2010)

JadeyyAndLadyy said:



			LOL you should call her bluff and ask to go see her horse  x
		
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Oooh good idea!  One slight problem - I can't stand the girl!  xx


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## bryngelenponies (6 September 2010)

After lunging my little mare my mum always likes to give her an apple because she says: "it's nice and refreshing for her" 
Also regarding the grazing muzzle on my mare: "oh it's so cruel, I can't see her like that" 

My parents have to be THE most non horsey parents ever! They're great because they try their best and they built pastures so that I could keep my horses at home but some times it's unbelievable what they come out with!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

flamehead said:



			The little boy I babysit for had a complete heart attack when Frankie snorted. "Hannah whys he blowing bubbles does he need a tissue?"!?!
		
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Awww that's adorable!
I had 3 tiny kids standing on the gate today while holding Lady's lead rope while she was sedated  that made their day, and they got to kiss her on the nose


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## JessandCharlie (6 September 2010)

My best are still from a friend of mine. She's very bright, recently got two As and 8A*s in her GCSEs and yet comes out with some corkers. 

When drawing a showjumper with leather tendon boots on in art she turns to me and says "Oooh, it's a horse with GLADIATOR SANDALS!"

And when driving down a country road past a horse with a trace clip "Jess, look! That horse has two textures!"

I was also asked the other day why Lenny was wearing a dress (fly rug)


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## fine_and_dandy (6 September 2010)

One of my favourites was my friend's dad; when she was seventeen she owned a lovely big steel grey irish horse.  She went to a show and her mum dad came with her and filmed her classes.

They looked at the footage a few days later and her dad had been filming the wrong horse and rider for ALL of the classes; not only that but the horse he had filmed was very light grey 3 hands smaller and Welsh!!!  The only thing that made it worse was that a boy was also riding the other horse...

...dog house didn't quite describe it!!!!

My mum makes me laugh too; she browses the rugs with me at this time of year so she can buy Bailey a set of pajamas for a Christmas present 

My dad also calls Bailey's overreach boots his slippers!!


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## sally87 (6 September 2010)

JessandCharlie said:



			And when driving down a country road past a horse with a trace clip "Jess, look! That horse has two textures!"
		
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when watching eventing on tv  i have had several friends say "wow that horse has interesting markings on his legs". that is when i point out it is event grease not hair colour! it has happened a few times with several non-horsey friends. but then i have very little faith in my city-dwelling friends, one tried to convince me that a ewe was a female cow! he was going on about it for about 5 minutes before he realised i was the yorkshire lass & therefore probably right on this one & that a ewe actually was a sheep. this is someone who is currently doing a phd...


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## buffy2 (6 September 2010)

When drawing a showjumper with leather tendon boots on in art she turns to me and says "Oooh, it's a horse with GLADIATOR SANDALS!"
 Pmsl


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## haras (6 September 2010)

Dobby said:



			*really concerned* Mum: Why do some people put masks on their horses?

Turns out she was on about fly masks! She said it was cruel because they couldn't see and looked like ninjas 

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My mum said the same....  actually made me take them off one day because 'they are cruel' kept going on and on about it!!!!!!!!!!  Thank goodness she rarely sees my horses.....  they have all worn their fly masks quite happily all summer!


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## monkeybum13 (6 September 2010)

When it's coming up to Badminton and I tell people I'm going up, the amount of people that ask me if I'm competing - I wish!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

sally87 said:



			a ewe actually was a cow.
		
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I thought a Ewe was a sheep


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## flying solo (6 September 2010)

Once my very non-horsey dad decided that he'd like a shot on my old mare! Well...... he got on one side and fell right off the other in front of the entire yard! Soo funny


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## sally87 (6 September 2010)

meh its been a long day, you know what i meant!


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## ester (6 September 2010)

fly masks are always a good one, friend was relieved to discover that the pony down their road wasn't blind


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## Dottie (6 September 2010)

Cello_song said:



			My Dad has done lots of embarrassing things at horsey events, especially the first year I had a pony. The top two are...

- stood at the side of the ring watching me show jumping and when I got a clear round he turned to the woman next to him and said "she's ridden Everest Mon Santa, you know Roger Whittaker's horse" ! (I was lucky enough to know the lady who got Mon Santa when he retired from show jumping with MICHAEL Whittaker!) 

- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified! 

Although I shouldn't complain too much as if it weren't for Daddy, I'd have never been lucky enough to get a pony! We laugh so much at these things now - Dad even made a reference to these incidents in his speech at my wedding!
		
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 Crying with laughter here! 

My dad does come out with some odd questions! At our very first show recently, where i was extremely nervous, i had kept my horses red tail bandage on whilst i warmed up and my dad wouldn't stop going on about it!
'Why has she got that on her tail?, is it red because she kicks?, when are you going to take it off? Doesn't it hurt her? What's it called again?'

AArrrgggg!!! Stop going on about the tail bandage!!! 

Bless him!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

flying solo said:



			Once my very non-horsey dad decided that he'd like a shot on my old mare! Well...... he got on one side and fell right off the other in front of the entire yard! Soo funny 

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Haha, You Should've Caught It On Camera And Sent It To you've Been Framed


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## tonitot (6 September 2010)

My mum is ever so slightly horsey, she used to ride when she was younger and will come and see Ethel every now and then calling her "my mate" all the time.

She made me chuckle when she was giving Ethel a brush one day and whilst going down her front legs she went "Toni, she has a MASSIVE scab on her leg" "Oh really?  It wasnt there earlier .." "Yeah look right here, she's got one there too! On her other leg!!" *have a look at where she's pointing too* "Mum, theyre her chesnuts, all horses are born with them" "Oh right okay, don't they hurt them?" "No mum, look .." *prods chesnut* "DONT DO THAT! ITS MEAN!"  bless her


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## Tinker_Belle (6 September 2010)

tonitot said:



			My mum is ever so slightly horsey, she used to ride when she was younger and will come and see Ethel every now and then calling her "my mate" all the time.

She made me chuckle when she was giving Ethel a brush one day and whilst going down her front legs she went "Toni, she has a MASSIVE scab on her leg" "Oh really?  It wasnt there earlier .." "Yeah look right here, she's got one there too! On her other leg!!" *have a look at where she's pointing too* "Mum, theyre her chesnuts, all horses are born with them" "Oh right okay, don't they hurt them?" "No mum, look .." *prods chesnut* "DONT DO THAT! ITS MEAN!"  bless her
		
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LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with _"Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"_

*Ground; swallow me up now*    .


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## Laura Pain (6 September 2010)

My best friend was asking us the other day why hay barrels were so expensive.......um.....hay bales maybe.........!!!!!!


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## chilworth23 (6 September 2010)

Best one i heard was when i moved to new yard, lady with two horses said are u turning her out now...i said yes, she said ooh hang on let me take his fly mask off so he can see.....she has 2 horses!!! did she think it blinded them?


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## Tinker_Belle (6 September 2010)

Cello_song said:



			- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified!
		
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That is absolutely brilliant!   . The mental images are just wonderful     .


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## tonitot (6 September 2010)

Tinker_Belle said:



			LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with _"Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"_

*Ground; swallow me up now*    .
		
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Haha!! I'm lucky as my mare is bay, but I was surprised that she didn't question the name also being a colour lol ... although when seeing chesnuts she calls them ginger and often refers to them looking like me (as im also ginger) ... cheers mother lol


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

Tinker_Belle said:



			LMAO!

Reminds me of my dad....

When buying my mare at auction (outside of the ring) he decided to be knowledgable as he'd heard horror stories about actions. He did okay with the bucking/rearing/bolting etc questions but slipped right up when he asked if the 'scars' on her legs would stop her jumping or anything like that.

There was a silence until 11 year old me explained that actually, they were chestnuts and not scars. Unfortunately he then piped up with _"Yes sweetheart, I know she's chestnut but I want to know about those scars. I don't want to be swindled at a horse auction you know"_

*Ground; swallow me up now*    .
		
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL Thats Hilarious!!


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## Tilda (6 September 2010)

When my little boy was about 18 months he got really upset when I turned my horse out and he rolled he said ' Mummy Jasper fell over help him'!


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## AndreaB71 (6 September 2010)

Tilda said:



			When my little boy was about 18 months he got really upset when I turned my horse out and he rolled he said ' Mummy Jasper fell over help him'!
		
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Awww how sweet!!


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## Tinker_Belle (6 September 2010)

tonitot said:



			Haha!! I'm lucky as my mare is bay, but I was surprised that she didn't question the name also being a colour lol ... although when seeing chesnuts she calls them ginger and often refers to them looking like me (as im also ginger) ... cheers mother lol 

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  . Unfortunately for me, I have aunurn-ey coloured hair, a chestnut pony and a Red Setter dog. 

I look like a saddo who has colour co-ordinated her pets  . It's all coincidence, I promise!


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## Bowen4Horses (6 September 2010)

my OH watching Badminton this year, and a little 15.1hh horse goes round xc... commentator comments that horse is only 15.1hh... OH says 'oh wow! you can take raff next year' (raff is 15.1hh)
he actually meant it too... x


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## Coffee_Bean (6 September 2010)

Haha some of these are great  

One of the best ones for me was when I had clipped a star into my mares bum, and a little boy who saw us on a hack said "Mummy, why has that horse got a tattoo", I then explained that it will grow out and doesn't hurt  

On a school trip, a friend saw some horses in a field and went "OMG Amy, who's going to give your horse its lunch today, because we're going to be out all day!!!" She looked genuinely shocked until I explained they didn't have 3 meals a day and she was scoffing in a field right now.

And a girl once told me that she had a horse and that it was 18.5 hands. Paha RIGHT.


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

Coffee_Bean said:



			And a girl once told me that she had a horse and that it was 18.5 hands. Paha RIGHT.
		
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LOL 18.5hh??


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## nemo_ (6 September 2010)

PMSL, some of these are hilarious!! 
My pony permanently wears overreach boots at home, he normally has rubber ones, but my dad bought him some neoprene ones for his 'slippers' so it would be more comfortable to sleep in! 
My favourite has to be when our neighbour rushed over in a panic and told my dad one of our horses was dead! Dad paniced too and rushed outside, to find my pony lying down in the sun but had to wake him up to convince our neighbour he was still alive!


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## Alby (6 September 2010)

At pony club camp one year, my dad was left to check half of the yard for night stables.  5 minutes later my dad's sprinting accross the yard shouting for the DC as 'one of the horses is dead!!!' .  Queue mass hysteria of adults and the horse's owner! They all run to the stable to find the horse stood up quietly munching on his hay....the 5/6 year old baby had been fast asleep on his side, dad didn't think to look closer, and in shouting and causing the chaos woke the poor baby up!!! He never did live that one down


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## flying solo (6 September 2010)

At the stables the other morning, I took my 2 1/2 yo daughter along with me. There are two ponies who come in during the day.... One was out being ridden and the other one was naying on it! Well my daughter freaked until we all told her he was saying hello! Next thing I know she says that he told her 'he was very hungry' and needed to eat all the carrots that we had with us!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

Alby said:



			At pony club camp one year, my dad was left to check half of the yard for night stables.  5 minutes later my dad's sprinting accross the yard shouting for the DC as 'one of the horses is dead!!!' .  Queue mass hysteria of adults and the horse's owner! They all run to the stable to find the horse stood up quietly munching on his hay....the 5/6 year old baby had been fast asleep on his side, dad didn't think to look closer, and in shouting and causing the chaos woke the poor baby up!!! He never did live that one down  

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Awww Bless!!!

I Can Just Imagine That


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## Kokopelli (6 September 2010)

When my old pony had a snuggy hood I was asked by this man if he was a bank robber because he had a balaclava on. He was being serious!


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## holzrokz (6 September 2010)

lol these are great!

My parents are extremely non-horsey, they always make terrible remarks (luckily no one but me hears them!)

1) my mum swears that the horse i often ride is chestnut, when i then have to explain that he is in fact bay (surely she knows the difference between ginger and brown with a black mane and tail!?)

2) I'm riding a different horse whos only 14.1hh and she reckons is enormous! lol i then have to explain that he is in fact a pony, so she then goes (oh well he looks very big to me!) i would hate for her to watch me riding some 17hh horse! luckily the RS doesn't have any that big!

3) On the same horse as number 2, mum walks up to him nd says hello morgan, which is completely the wrong horse! lol i then explain that this horse is in fact chestnut, which she seems confused about! lol

4) same horse again and mum goes ''whats that on his leg!?'' at which point i become concerned, (i was on him at the time) trying to look under at his legs thinking he has cut himself whilst jumping of something! But alas she is pointing at his chestnuts (sp?) (panic over!) and i explain to her all horses have them and its nothing to worry about, so she bends down to have a nosey at all the other horses legs, lol! 


I'm sure there will be many more to come from my mum. Dad gets it a bit more and just doesn't tend to ask about anything


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## frostie652 (6 September 2010)

im trying to teach the boyfriend about horses.. queue driving past a field, me pointing at a horses and asking what colour they are?
one was;

 arab..
 apparently...  ahhhw bless.


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## Sarah Sum1 (6 September 2010)

bryngelenponies said:



			After lunging my little mare my mum always likes to give her an apple because she says: "it's nice and refreshing for her" 
Also regarding the grazing muzzle on my mare: "oh it's so cruel, I can't see her like that" 

My parents have to be THE most non horsey parents ever! They're great because they try their best and they built pastures so that I could keep my horses at home but some times it's unbelievable what they come out with! 

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Aww sound like great parents! Love the apple one, nice and refreshing lol


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (6 September 2010)

frostie652 said:



			im trying to teach the boyfriend about horses.. queue driving past a field, me pointing at a horses and asking what colour they are?
one was;

 arab..
 apparently...  ahhhw bless.
		
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I been trying to teach my boyfriend too, isnt going too well 
I show him pictures and ask what colour the horses are, he's always like...brown....brown....white.....brown.....
No you muppet, proper names for the colours


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## E_Lister (7 September 2010)

I think for me one of the funniest things my dad ever came out with was:

Me: Look Dad, isn't this funny, someone on here has an OH who thinks rearing is when the horses rear end is in the air...
Dad: Well of course it is Ellie, what did you think?!? And bucking is when the front end is in the air!
Me: Noooo, rearing is the front end, bucking is the back
Dad: Why? That makes no sense! It would make more sense the other way around, maybe you should get everyone to change it!!
Me: Doh!

I also tried teaching my dad horse colours whilst pointing to good examples:
Dad: So the white horse is "grey", the grey horse is "blue" _(roan)_, the pink horse is a strawberry _(roan)_, the ginger horse is "chestnut", the brown horse is "bay" so why does the black horse only get to be called "black"? ...And why is your white horse "cream-bello" then?

I also had a random man ask my friend and I if we were in training for the Derby a few days ago as we happened to hack past where he was sitting. Fine, BUT, I was on a fjord and my friend was on a 14hh cob... we were in walk at the time!
We laughed and replied that if we started riding there now, by the time it was on we might just have arrived...


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## S14Tobin (7 September 2010)

My mum used to ride, so is ok, but my dad... god! he shouted me as I was going passed the house ages ago on my old TB< and said I was wanted on the phone, so jumped off, and he said he would hold Pols, I got back a couple of min later, and he was walking in the house FURIOUS! I asked him where she was, he'd put her back in the field (tack and ALL) because she'd 'looked at him with a cross face' and 'stamped on his foot ON PURPOSE 3 times'... she was quite happy about it all.... he is adamant to this day (15 years later!!) that she did it on purpose as she didn't like him!


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## Jesstickle (7 September 2010)

These are all brilliant. I, very boringly, have a horsey mum who only asks sensible (if annoying) questions when she sees my horses these days. Along the lines of ' you know her feet need doing don't you?' etc. No mother I hadn't noticed despite the fact I have been doing this my whole life. 

Makes life much less interesting!


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## Teagan (7 September 2010)

I used to livery on a riding school yard.

One day a very eminent well known equine dentist was on our yard doing the livery horses teeth.

A youngish girl (7yo i would say) who had come with mummy to ride the ponies in the riding school was stood watching intently whilst said denist was rasping a horses teeth with the long handled power rasp.

Little Girl "what are you doing to that horse, whats that in his mouth".

Dentist "ah well you see, look very carefully at his feet, this horse has a puncture in his right foot and i am blowing it back up again.  Can you watch it carefully for me and tell me when it looks the same size as the other one".

Well, the young girl stood for 5 minutes watching the foot intently, whilst the dentist finished off the horses teeth.  

Bless the Dentist, when he had finished, he showed the little girl all the tools and equipment and told her exactly was he was doing. ...... but as for the rest of us, we were back in the office out of the way howling with laughter !


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (7 September 2010)

s14tobin said:



			My mum used to ride, so is ok, but my dad... god! he shouted me as I was going passed the house ages ago on my old TB< and said I was wanted on the phone, so jumped off, and he said he would hold Pols, I got back a couple of min later, and he was walking in the house FURIOUS! I asked him where she was, he'd put her back in the field (tack and ALL) because she'd 'looked at him with a cross face' and 'stamped on his foot ON PURPOSE 3 times'... she was quite happy about it all.... he is adamant to this day (15 years later!!) that she did it on purpose as she didn't like him!
		
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LOL  Bless, She Prob Did Do It On Purpose!


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## hannabanana (7 September 2010)

These are great! My family is non-horsey apart from my mum used to do a bit riding when she was a teen. However my dad is convinced he knows everything. When I was around 10 and I would take my pony to a show he would say 'Go on Hanna go get your number and I will tack up Diamond'. Only to come back to find the saddle so far back that the girth was in the middle of her stomach and it was that tight the poor lass couldnt breath! 
My Dad has such an obsession with girths, even now hes constantly telling me my girth needs tightening and manages to get it all the way to the top hole! 

But the best one had to be my grandad, he also used to think he was full of wisdom when it came to horses because he used to work down the pits with the pit ponies. He is often in the pub and has convinced the locals that he owns my horse and that its always winning races! He began this years ago when I had a 14.2 cob. He showed them a picture of him standing next to my old pony and they all believed him!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (7 September 2010)

hannabanana said:



			But the best one had to be my grandad, he also used to think he was full of wisdom when it came to horses because he used to work down the pits with the pit ponies. He is often in the pub and has convinced the locals that he owns my horse and that its always winning races! He began this years ago when I had a 14.2 cob. He showed them a picture of him standing next to my old pony and they all believed him!
		
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Awww How Old Is Your Grandad?


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## miss_bird (7 September 2010)

My mum has always supported me with the horses, but has only learnt what i have taught/shown her.
So now i am very lucky and between my mum and aunts and uncles they do weekday mornings for me so stable chores are all done and i am always showing them new things.
Only prob is i now have a family of little hitlers that will come marching up to me in the mornings telling me things that they dont believe i done the day before or that i need to do that day.
It is funny till friends come up and the family are telling me how to do things and in what order they should be done.
Everyone finds it so funny that if you stand and listen you would think i am just learning.
Not complaining though as i do realise how lucky i am


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## hannabanana (7 September 2010)

JadeyyAndLadyy said:



			Awww How Old Is Your Grandad? 

Click to expand...

Hmm, not sure lol! 80's, Although he looks 200. Sounds mean but I guess its the result of 40 ciggies a day since the age of 12...naughty grand pa pa


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (7 September 2010)

hannabanana said:



			Hmm, not sure lol! 80's, Although he looks 200. Sounds mean but I guess its the result of 40 ciggies a day since the age of 12...naughty grand pa pa

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LOL!!! 
Naughty Naughty Grand Pappy


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## MinskiKaii (7 September 2010)

I had a old bloke come up to me when I was out riding my 15.hh Appy. He asked me what her name was.  I told him Minski, so he asked it was the race horse, no that Nijinski!!!  As everone knows Nijinski was spotty with a rat tail!!


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## mybaileysglide (7 September 2010)

i took my dad into the field to see my horse and we had to duck under the electric fence, next thing i know my dads half way down the field. i asked him what was wrong and he said the electric fence got him, turns out it wasnt even on.


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## pipstar (8 September 2010)

Ha ha ha I love this thread!

I haven't got anything  funny to write but this has given me a really good laugh.

I now have to take my dogs to be groomed with bright red eyes from cry laughing (thays what my daughters call it!).

x


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## minkymoo (8 September 2010)

My darling OH brought K in this morning whilst I went to get petrol. As I walked up the track, I realised he had brought the wrong horse in! 

Cue me yelling up the track 'that's not my horse!'. I said to him did he not think it was weird he'd manage to change into a red rug from a blue one? 

Bless, it would be alright if he didn't know him very well but he has lessons on him one a fortnight!


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## finkle (8 September 2010)

Mum (70) volunteered to turn my very old and very small pony out one morning.

Mobile rings to hysterical parent scream 'Ive cocked up'.

Turns out pony had run off as she put her in paddock. When I got to the bottom of it though, it appears mother took headcollar off THIS side of the gate and expected the pony to 'put' herself in her field. There was another horse already in and mum darent go near the gate.

I suspect my pony stood at the gate of the starvation paddock she was about to go in and thought 'stuff this' and cantered off at a fast pace towards green grass.


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## Kat (8 September 2010)

My mum is non-horsey and came out with this classic the other day when talking to her friend's daughter about her new horse: 

The daughter was telling her about the horse and asked if she'd like to see a photo, mum said yes and daughter got out a photo. 

Mum says "she's very pretty what colour is she?" (now that is bad enough as she's looking at a photo of the horse and has been subjected to two horsey daughters for 25+ years) so the friend's daughter replies "she's fleabitten grey"..... 

So Mum replies "oh dear, that isn't very nice, is she old?" 

Argh!


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## Hippona (8 September 2010)

My mum and dad arent bad really- work colleagues come out with corkers on occasion.

When I said I was going to Bramham, I was asked which horse I was taking....

Hmmm.....let me see.... 22yo PBA ( now deceased) 5 yo highland or grossly unfit cob.

They all love the pony thats the 'same colour as a cup of tea' (dun), and were worried about my veteran horse.....was it ok to ride him even though he was old?

When I explained that he was the fittest, maddest of the lot....I don't think they believed me...


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## Hippona (8 September 2010)

Another one.....I was explaining how my new horse is young, and very green and needed lots of work doing with him. Made perfect sense to me.

After a short pause, someone tentatively asked......' I thought you said he was grey?'


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## smellsofhorse (8 September 2010)

Brontie said:



			One of my particular favourites is the non horsey people that think the ponies, 10hh-12hh are 'baby horses', when in actual fact they're older than most the horses! 

Click to expand...

Yeah i hear that alot!


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## HashRouge (8 September 2010)

I ordered a made to measure bridle for Lou last year and got it delivered to my flat in London (I'm a student and was living with 3 other girls of my own age). I happily unpacked the bridle in the kitchen and put it together in front of my fascinated flatmates. One of them, Jenny, then asked me which way round it went on the horse. So Lauren, another of my flatmates and the only one who has ridden before, proceeded to put the bridle over her head as if she were a horse and then held the ends of the reins up to the corners of her mouth while I stood behind her and held the reins as if I were the rider. We stood there for a moment, very proud of our working model, when Jenny announced that it looked like some kind of weird bondage kit and she still had no idea how it went on the horse


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## claireandnadia (8 September 2010)

Nadia was wearing her fly mask with ears and I was asked if she was wearing it because she was blind and deaf.


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## DanaHart (8 September 2010)

I remember at work a colleague said "if eveyone's horses are in the same field, how do you know which one is yours?" and "do horses have different personalities, like dogs do?"


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## keanmu (8 September 2010)

This is funny reading these.

My Dad tagged along to a show many moons ago and I asked him to put my horses srug on whilst I did something. I came back to find the rug on backwards. I nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard at him. 

Another time, when I was a kid, I was talking to a girl in a park and she said she had a pony. Excitedly I started talking about mine, name, breed, height etc. It then became apparent that she didn't know what she was talking about because she told me her pony was bigger than mine because it was 13.4. PMSL


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## Jango (8 September 2010)

my parents are non-horsey and my dad used to call bags of feed 'seeds'! he's a horse not a budgie! But mainly I just get have you put his 'coat' on? and them getting things muddled up!

But I had a brilliant one in work the other day, I was telling someone I'd had a BBQ at the stables and she asked if I'd given my horse any food, I said no, she said that was really mean I should have shared my burgers with him. I then said he's a vegetarian which she was shocked about!! Had to explain that horses/cows/sheep etc only eat grass and hay, shes 18 and about to go to uni, worrying!


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## nativepony (8 September 2010)

When I was ill with a chest infection my 5 year old told everyone I had laminitis!!!!


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## hannahhannah (8 September 2010)

My mum's latest, when taking my horses plaits out for xc was 'do I need to take any out from the other side too....?' No mother!!


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## Hippona (8 September 2010)

HashRouge said:



			I ordered a made to measure bridle for Lou last year and got it delivered to my flat in London (I'm a student and was living with 3 other girls of my own age). I happily unpacked the bridle in the kitchen and put it together in front of my fascinated flatmates. One of them, Jenny, then asked me which way round it went on the horse. So Lauren, another of my flatmates and the only one who has ridden before, proceeded to put the bridle over her head as if she were a horse and then held the ends of the reins up to the corners of her mouth while I stood behind her and held the reins as if I were the rider. We stood there for a moment, very proud of our working model, when Jenny announced that it looked like some kind of weird bondage kit and she still had no idea how it went on the horse 

Click to expand...

PMSL


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## Katikins (8 September 2010)

nativepony said:



			When I was ill with a chest infection my 5 year old told everyone I had laminitis!!!!
		
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Hehe.. that made me laugh and is so cute!! 

Ex-OH "Are you going to change the numpty" Numnah!

Dad refusing to believe that our new semi-feral pony would kick if you were in the stable when he was having his food.... he got kicked!!

When sis asked Dad to pass her a drink while on her horse he THREW a 2 ltr bottle of coke at her.  Horse promptly shot sideways and sis continued sitting where she was... on air, before crashing to the ground (I was also in the bad books because I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard)


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (8 September 2010)

poppymoo said:



			Another one.....I was explaining how my new horse is young, and very green and needed lots of work doing with him. Made perfect sense to me.

After a short pause, someone tentatively asked......' I thought you said he was grey?'



Click to expand...

LOL these are epic. I love this one, so typical


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## horsecrazy25 (8 September 2010)

I love these 

One day i was wearing a body warmer which said "GBR Championship Team" on it and someone thought i was actually in the GBR team lol i wish i was  x


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## EmmaB (8 September 2010)

Haha most of these are hilarious! 

I don't have many really, my nan once offered to tack up so I went to fetch boots and came back to her staring at the pony saying something doesn't look right, the saddle was backwards 

Then at the riding school these little kids were learning how to tack up, one thought she knew what to do and went and put the numnah draping over the horse's butt XD

My sister's friend told us that her auntie went on holiday and rode a 42hh horse! God I laughed so much at that one!

A guy at work asked me if my horse was a stallion or a unicorn...oh dear lmao. He was deadly serious as well! Cue me explaining what mares/gelding/stallions are...and that unicorn arn't real haha!

Oh and once in a riding lesson this girl..she was slightly strange to begin with...well she didn't have a whip so she just lent round and started smacking the horse's butt with her hand because he was walking mega slow, omg I was in hysterics laughing. She was only small so couldn't hit hard and the horse was totally ignoring her


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## Colleen_Miss_Tom (8 September 2010)

Funnily enough today, A friend of my husbands asked me would my 4 year old 16.2HH ISH whom I show in the lightweight hunter/large riding horse classes pull a wedding carriage for his daughters wedding !


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## MissSBird (8 September 2010)

best I can come up with isn't entirely horsey but one day one of the liveries at the yard asked how my sister was getting on at the british university snowboarding champs she was away at. I duely replied with the good news and the phrase 'yes, she's over the moon' to which her five year old pipped up 'she's gone to the moon?'.

Mum promptly said yes she's away in a rocket to the moon, and the kid got really really excited about it bless him. Thankfully he forgot all about asking if he could go next time by the time my sister got back!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (9 September 2010)

MissSBird said:



			best I can come up with isn't entirely horsey but one day one of the liveries at the yard asked how my sister was getting on at the british university snowboarding champs she was away at. I duely replied with the good news and the phrase 'yes, she's over the moon' to which her five year old pipped up 'she's gone to the moon?'.

Mum promptly said yes she's away in a rocket to the moon, and the kid got really really excited about it bless him. Thankfully he forgot all about asking if he could go next time by the time my sister got back!
		
Click to expand...

Awww, thats so adorable 
That reminds me when i had some kids hanging over my fence asking questions about the little pony, they were like "Can he jump that jump?" to which i replied "Oh yes, he absolutely FLIES over it!" they paused for a few seconds and said ".....Horses can fly?!?!  "


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## katief (9 September 2010)

Some of these are priceless!   My best has to be when one of my friends saw some of the dressage for the olympics, and asked whether it was the pre-event entertainment before the real competition actually started!? Along the lines of cheerleaders I think she thought...


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## merliebug (9 September 2010)

Had to add to this one! 
My ex-boss once asked me how much meat my horse ate and whether he tried to hunt rabbits or deer when we went on a hack (not that she used the word 'hack'). 
I explained that horses were vegetarian, which she didn't quite understand... "But they're so big. They only eat grass? That can't be right."

The idea of my horse suddenly catching scent of a rabbit or squirrel and stalking it with me on board still makes me laugh. She was genuinely serious too!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (9 September 2010)

merliebug said:



			Had to add to this one! 
My ex-boss once asked me how much meat my horse ate and whether he tried to hunt rabbits or deer when we went on a hack (not that she used the word 'hack'). 
I explained that horses were vegetarian, which she didn't quite understand... "But they're so big. They only eat grass? That can't be right."

The idea of my horse suddenly catching scent of a rabbit or squirrel and stalking it with me on board still makes me laugh. She was genuinely serious too!
		
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Seriously??  Thats hilarious!


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## merliebug (9 September 2010)

Seriously! I nearly choked on my tea! 
She looked really quite shocked by the idea that such a big animal was a veggie... I dread to think what she imagines giraffes doing for dinner!


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## Lady La La (9 September 2010)

smiffyimp said:



			Ha, heres mine.... went to Burghley on Sat - told Mom. Had previously sent some piccies of our first ODE - i quote - 
"did you take Dennis to Burghley? How did he get on?"

You gotta love em

Click to expand...

This CRACKED ME UP!


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## Lady La La (9 September 2010)

nativepony said:



			When I was ill with a chest infection my 5 year old told everyone I had laminitis!!!!
		
Click to expand...

And this


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## MrsElle (9 September 2010)

My OH got fed up of waiting for me one evening last winter and decided to put Ellie's rug on.  I got there to him crossly asking me how on earth you can do buckles up properly when they are under a horses tail......... it was on back to front!

When my boys were small they had ponies.  We had someone turn up at the yard and let the ponies out, we found rocks and bottles in the field and my horse munching his hay with the stable door wide open.

Ex OH was running from horse to horse running his hands up and down their legs.  I watched in amazement and asked what he was doing.  The reply? 'how on earth do I know, but I've seen them do it on the telly'


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## Harriett310 (9 September 2010)

Me and my friend were talking to somebody whilst queueing up for lunch once and somehow we got on to horses.
He was telling us how he got paid really good money for feeding, turning out and mucking out 15 horses, turned out he got paid £3.50. Then he carried on to say he rode a 16.4hh horse, at which point i was crying my eyes out from trying not to laugh. He continued to ask whether my friend had a farrier for her horse, when she answered yes he asked why he didn't train him for her! Luckily by this point we had brought our food and could end the conversation. The thought of it still makes me laugh


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## mcnaughty (9 September 2010)

My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant...  I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (9 September 2010)

MrsElle said:



			When my boys were small they had ponies.  We had someone turn up at the yard and let the ponies out, we found rocks and bottles in the field and my horse munching his hay with the stable door wide open.

Ex OH was running from horse to horse running his hands up and down their legs.  I watched in amazement and asked what he was doing.  The reply? 'how on earth do I know, but I've seen them do it on the telly'   

Click to expand...

HAHAHAHA!!!   This Made Me LAAUUGGHHHH


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## nona1 (9 September 2010)

the '10" of bone' story is funniest so far.

My scared-of-horses mum would always stand at least 20' away from my total sweetie pony, jumping every time he moved and saying in a panicy voice 'He's giving me a funny look!'.

Walking along the footpath across a dairy farm my townie boyfriend of the time was intrigued by the styles. I had to explain they were so they didn't need to put gates in the fence, but you could still cross the fields. 'How does the farmer get the cows over the styles?'.   and he blew his nose on a nettle leaf in a no-tissue emergency.


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## prosefullstop (9 September 2010)

mcnaughty said:



			My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant...  I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!
		
Click to expand...

Absolute genius!


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## RSL (10 September 2010)

LOL bless her!


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## Sugarplum Furry (10 September 2010)

I was wandering around the XC course as a spectator at Badminton (which is all I'll ever be) a few years ago, and a non horsey friend spotted me from the other side of the track. She waved at me, I waved back, and then she yelled at the top of her voice 'NOT RIDING THIS YEAR THEN?". Cue about 500 people swivelling round to look at me. Gulp. For some reason I'll never be able to explain I yelled back 'NO HE'S DONE A TENDON'. Cue another 500 people turning to stare at me to try and identify me.

So then she shouts across, in a great big foghorn voice " OH. HAS HE SEEN THE DOCTOR?". Cue about 1000 people cracking up with laughter. I smiled sheepishly and sort of shuffled off sideways to hide behind a portaloo until she'd gone...aaarrrgh the humiliation....


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## Chavhorse (10 September 2010)

My (when I met him non Horsey) OH has come out with some total clangers!

He always refers to Vardi's anti rub vest as his Bra, cue him yelling "darling do you need to put Vardi's Bra on" across the yard which certainly made my rather real man Western instructor stop in his tracks.

On watching me grooming and baby wiping Vardi's backside "what are you doing" "cleaning his backside obviously" "urgh can't he do it himself" "Ummm no I don't think he is quite that supple"

On Watching me lunging "Darling he looks a bit dizzy"

On Me leaving the yard with my instructor for Vardi's first big boy outside lesson "Be careful out there and Spotty Arse look after your mother"

Overheard one evening "Hey Mate now you can come in now and be tied outside while we clean your stall or you can stay here for a bit longer which do you prefer" Love he has just stamped his foot twice is that yes or no".

After 8 months at the same yard he still asks "who is that then" "that's Twister darling" "oh I thought it was Paulie" "no darling Paulie is a boy and he is a palomino, Twister as you can see is Chestnut and a girl" " Oh I though the Yellow one was Wit" "No love Wit is white" 

I just thank god that mine is a very loud Spotty Appaloosa or god knows what he would bring in.


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## Chavhorse (10 September 2010)

Forgot one and its a classic.

OH seems convinced that Vardi has learnt the art of communication through foot stamping (obviously been taken to too many circus's as a child!) so back in the height of the summer we had this exchange;

"what is he saying"
"what"
"what is he saying "
"sorry you have lost me"
"look at him he is really going for it he is trying to tell us something"
"Yes love that there are a lot of flies about"


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## E_Lister (10 September 2010)

Chavhorse said:



			Forgot one and its a classic.

OH seems convinced that Vardi has learnt the art of communication through foot stamping (obviously been taken to too many circus's as a child!) so back in the height of the summer we had this exchange;

"what is he saying"
"what"
"what is he saying "
"sorry you have lost me"
"look at him he is really going for it he is trying to tell us something"
"Yes love that there are a lot of flies about"
		
Click to expand...

hehehehehehehehehe! What a talented horse


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## Janah (10 September 2010)

Thank you all for cheering up a rather dull Friday.

Jane


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## rolorocky (10 September 2010)

My non horsey cousin bought her 6yr daughter down the yard to see the horses, the daughter said to her mum " why has that horse got 5 legs" ..... horse was having a pee and was rather a big boy !


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## Lady La La (10 September 2010)

Me: (to my OH) Starlas lame 
OH: Oh no, is it her forelock?

LOVE HIM <3


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## Honey08 (10 September 2010)

I've got my own yard, and bearing in mind that I'm in my 40s and have had horses since I was 13, my mum said last week "Its about time you got yourself a merrangue for the stables..."  She meant a menage!


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## Simsar (10 September 2010)

Mum and her friend went to a race meet at Sandown and halfway through a race my mum turns to her friend and says that I am going to race Spyder (3yr old Irish Draught colt!!!) there next year.

Stupid woman


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (10 September 2010)

rolorocky said:



			My non horsey cousin bought her 6yr daughter down the yard to see the horses, the daughter said to her mum " why has that horse got 5 legs" ..... horse was having a pee and was rather a big boy !
		
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## Billsmam (10 September 2010)

not so much somthing he said but somthing he done

my sisters OH took my nephew up to the stables to ride his pony whilst my sister was at work, hes been round the horses for a couple of years now but is obv still learning. so sisters OH helped nephew (whos 7) tack up the pony and took her round to the school after about 5 mins he phoned my sister to tell her that pony was being naughty and really stong at which point my nephew piped up "och adam you never put her bit in her mouth" lol he had been riding her about with the bit behind her chin...cue sister on the phone laughing histerically luckily pony is a gem and wouldnt dream of doing anything wrong lol 

he still hasnt lived it down lol


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## tinkandlily (10 September 2010)

mybaileysglide said:



			i took my dad into the field to see my horse and we had to duck under the electric fence, next thing i know my dads half way down the field. i asked him what was wrong and he said the electric fence got him, turns out it wasnt even on.
		
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PMSL thats brill


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## tinkandlily (10 September 2010)

Cello_song said:



			My Dad has done lots of embarrassing things at horsey events, especially the first year I had a pony. The top two are...

- stood at the side of the ring watching me show jumping and when I got a clear round he turned to the woman next to him and said "she's ridden Everest Mon Santa, you know Roger Whittaker's horse" ! (I was lucky enough to know the lady who got Mon Santa when he retired from show jumping with MICHAEL Whittaker!) 

- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified! 

Although I shouldn't complain too much as if it weren't for Daddy, I'd have never been lucky enough to get a pony! We laugh so much at these things now - Dad even made a reference to these incidents in his speech at my wedding!
		
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PMSL poor you


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## tinkandlily (10 September 2010)

My 2 nearly 3 yr old son keeps asking me for a horsey or as he calls it a saucey, but he dosn't want any saucey, he wants a pink one :O my OH is not impressed


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (10 September 2010)

tinkandlily said:



			My 2 nearly 3 yr old son keeps asking me for a horsey or as he calls it a saucey, but he dosn't want any saucey, he wants a pink one :O my OH is not impressed 

Click to expand...

LOL Get Him A Strawberry Roan One Then


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## tinkandlily (10 September 2010)

JadeyyAndLadyy said:



			LOL Get Him A Strawberry Roan One Then 

Click to expand...

Ah, didn't think of that now to pursuade the OH...


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## tinkandlily (10 September 2010)

mcnaughty said:



			My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant...  I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!
		
Click to expand...


PMSL, I just can't stop laughing at that.


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## Keep Trying (10 September 2010)

I was at a show riding a gelding that we had bred. 
My auntie came to watch us and, when she was told that we had bred him asked whether the stallion owner got to keep the pick of the litter!!


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## pipstar (10 September 2010)

Im an avid fan of this thread , haven't looked at it since yesterday, but I am sitting here on my own roaring with laughter tea spluttered everywhere and feeling silly for laughing so loud on my own.

This is the funniest ever!!



gala said:



			I was wandering around the XC course as a spectator at Badminton (which is all I'll ever be) a few years ago, and a non horsey friend spotted me from the other side of the track. She waved at me, I waved back, and then she yelled at the top of her voice 'NOT RIDING THIS YEAR THEN?". Cue about 500 people swivelling round to look at me. Gulp. For some reason I'll never be able to explain I yelled back 'NO HE'S DONE A TENDON'. Cue another 500 people turning to stare at me to try and identify me.

So then she shouts across, in a great big foghorn voice " OH. HAS HE SEEN THE DOCTOR?". Cue about 1000 people cracking up with laughter. I smiled sheepishly and sort of shuffled off sideways to hide behind a portaloo until she'd gone...aaarrrgh the humiliation....
		
Click to expand...


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (10 September 2010)

keep trying said:



			i was at a show riding a gelding that we had bred. 
My auntie came to watch us and, when she was told that we had bred him asked whether the stallion owner got to keep the pick of the litter!!:d
		
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Ahaaaaaa


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## Alby (18 September 2010)

QUOTE
"Overheard one evening "Hey Mate now you can come in now and be tied outside while we clean your stall or you can stay here for a bit longer which do you prefer" Love he has just stamped his foot twice is that yes or no"."

ROFPMSL!!!!!!

Just thought of more!! My then (now ex  ) OH decided that he would accompany my dad to the yard one night and help with the horses (when we first got together, looking for brownie points  )
When I arrive (from work), he's 'brushing' 4YO Isie (read: tickling the surface of his coat!) looking over door..
xOH (looking worried): I think he's a bit excited
Me: ER, Why? (big baby stood still eating his hay, v peacefully)
xOH: well.. look.. his..er well..thing is out
queue Isie moving to the back of stable and having a pee 
xOH: oh no, its ok, its not a bone*  You can't go for a wee when you're aroused!


And the text message i got while he was away with work, playing a quiz in a pub
txt msg:  'Where on a Horse would you find the pantener?'
Me: running round wondering why the ***** I hadn't heard of this in a Horse (start looking in all BHS books, PC manual, Vetinary Dictionaries etc, drew a blank).  Mother (completely un-horsey)! comes in to the room and asks what i'm flapping about then says 'oh, I think he means pastern' !!!!!!!!!


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## Umbongo (18 September 2010)

Ha some of these are brilliant. My parents are very non-horsey but keep out of it completely. My dad just calls them manky old nags.

Trying to teach the boyfriend, he is quite good but not with colours. Saw a pale palomino and he called it beige. I said if that is "beige" then what would you call a dun...he said "even more beige"!

Tried to teach him but he still says all horses are brown, black or white.


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## Milliepony (18 September 2010)

This thread has brigtened up the morning  

My city dwelling sister brought her husband and 2 daughters up to see our pony... her OH was a bit puzzled as he looked at our 13.2 then at others on the yard ... 'How come they're all different sizes?' he said...

Well I suppose if you've only ever seen police horses at the match in the flesh before, it might come as a surprise that equines come in all shapes and sizes


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## ew0855 (18 September 2010)

Hubby had been down the yard a few times and my then loan pony was the kind who'd bring herself in so when my phone rang i handed him the head collar and went to make up her feed while I chatted. Still to this day don't understand HOW he managed to put a head collar on back to front (nose band around ears, head piece twisted strangely round nose). She just followed very close behind him with a 'he needs looking after' attitude.


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (19 September 2010)

Milliepony said:



			This thread has brigtened up the morning  

My city dwelling sister brought her husband and 2 daughters up to see our pony... her OH was a bit puzzled as he looked at our 13.2 then at others on the yard ... 'How come they're all different sizes?' he said...

Well I suppose if you've only ever seen police horses at the match in the flesh before, it might come as a surprise that equines come in all shapes and sizes 

Click to expand...

Lol  Well this one is new to me


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## JadeyyAndLadyy (24 April 2011)

Today....

Mum: Jade, why has sassy got titties? 

Me: The same reason Lady has them, shes a mare, What do you expect?!?! 

Come on people, any new ones from you all?


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## Spot_the_Risk (24 April 2011)

When I got a great job up a country a few years ago, I decided to put my cob out on loan for a year whilst I settled into the job/moved house.  He was my first ever horse and I was 28.  My mother said 'why don't you sell him and but another one next year'.  She has no soul, obviously.

She also used to make a cracking mistake with a friends pony's name, he was called Arial, my mother used to call him Persil - quite happily, to my friends face!

Oh, and she thinks I'm cruel when I hog Harley for showing.


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## nona1 (24 April 2011)

Watching Badminton XC today. OH and stepsons join me for about 10 minutes (completely non-horsey)

ss1 watching graphics of one of the obstacles: Water? Do they have a swimming race as well?
OH watching horse having legs checked after a fall: poor thing, look, he's twisted his ankle.
ss2: those horses can't run right. their legs are all over the place!


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## LaurenM (24 April 2011)

My mum asked earlier how my horse was supposed to get his hay out of his haynet lol..

My sister was also astounded that the horses knew which stable was theirs.


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## Karran (24 April 2011)

Some of these are so funny! I was crying with laughter!

Not as funny but my OH sometimes comes out with gems, he text me very excitedly one day to tell me that he saw a "chestnut with black trimming!" He refuses to believe it was bay and said I should be impressed that he knew its special colour wasn't brown! 

Once told me that he had recorded me some dressage on H&C.
"I saw it and thought you'd like it cos it was doing that special trottyness you like."
"What do you mean?"
"The special trottyness!" and then proceeded to do his best demonstration of a flying change around my living room. 

Bless him!


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## KittyJay (24 April 2011)

my boyfriend calls rugs "their jackets"


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## Rhee (24 April 2011)

4 year old niece sitting on older sisters new first pony for the very first time.

''I know how to ride- you have to hold onto the brains''

This was over 20 years ago, I've never forgotten it - 'cos it's sooooo true!


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## PeanutButterDragon (24 April 2011)

Rhee said:



			4 year old niece sitting on older sisters new first pony for the very first time.

''I know how to ride- you have to hold onto the brains''

This was over 20 years ago, I've never forgotten it - 'cos it's sooooo true!
		
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The OH is giving me some very funny looks - laughing very hard!  I love this thread!


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## Maddie2412 (24 April 2011)

"well your horse is really big so it must be really old... ive seen how small the babies are i mean when theyre shetlands theyre just tiny...." um nooooooo thats a different breed love!

"its raining do you want me to drive you to the yard poor roscoe must be getting wet and i dont want him getting a cold or flu or something" its drizzling and mum i really dont care when its 2 am!!!


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## Maddie2412 (24 April 2011)

best of all trying out my boy was a tad wild and in very poor nick with my trainer her mother her OH the old owners fam and friends and my dad so no pressure!! just jumping a small x pole to show dad he could and he bolted, best look in control impersonation yet and 4 laps later pull up. que everyone face in their hands.... that was that sale gone but my naive father "that was cool, lets do it" when i get home that night horseless as the wild beast wouldnt so much as glance at the trailer my dad says "we got some proper horse now!" hmmm what would health and saftey say?!


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## dapplepink (24 April 2011)

When I was looming at my geldings parentage, hubby asks when I'm going to start breeding with my boy! Had to explain the whole gelding thing a number of times!

My boy is a big dapple grey who likes to get a mucky as poss in the field, mum happened to be with me one day when I was bringing him in. There were only 2 horses at the yard Inc my 17.3 boy and a 14.1 pony, mum was totally convinced I had brought the wrong horse in as he was the wrong colour! Infect he was just covered in mud!

Tried teaching hubby colours of horses, he knows that mine is a dapple grey and therefore also should k ow grey is white. We were watching a show a I said oh that grey will win, which it did, then we had a large 'chat' that I picked the grey to win and I was wrong as the White horse won! Do I just talk to myself some days??


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## SuperCoblet (24 April 2011)

When I was ill one day, Dad volunteered to let the horse out, change his rug and put his field headcollar on. Later got a call from YO asking if I was drunk as horses STABLE(should have been fly!) rug was on back to front and headcollar was in pieces in the field. Bless my dad 
He also calls horses who have black fly masks on 'zorro' from the film and rugs dresses  he also insists he's seen my pony dead in the field, but somehow came back to life when he went up to him and sat on him!


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## SonnysHumanSlave (25 April 2011)

Some of these are brilliant. 

I took a call from my friend while I was at my grandads the other day. He overheard me say "do you think you'll be free to come over this week I need a riding lesson?!"
Que my grandad say "bloomin heck after 15years you'd think you'd be able to ride by now!"

*sigh*


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## Polo*Pony (25 April 2011)

Karran said:



			Once told me that he had recorded me some dressage on H&C.
"I saw it and thought you'd like it cos it was doing that special trottyness you like."
"What do you mean?"
"The special trottyness!" and then proceeded to do his best demonstration of a flying change around my living room. 

Bless him!
		
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This has made me cry with laughter...


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## JFTDWS (25 April 2011)

I had a slightly confused exchange with the not entirely unhorsey chap I'm seeing at present.  He knew I was meant to be competing today (at a show in Ipswich) and it came up in conversation, regarding times and when I had to be there.  I said something along the lines of "I'm not competing till the afternoon, but I need to be up sharpish to bath him and get him ready.  And I'll need to drive him to Ipswich".  To which I heard (to my disbelief) the response was "Ipswich?  Is that where you take them to bath them?".   I have visions of an equine spa town, with public baths for horses...   Then presumably I'd drive him back closer to home to compete?  I don't know 

Anyhow, I'm not complaining, as he's awesome  and really quite funny, even if it's unintentional sometimes


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## CatStew (25 April 2011)

Haha some of these are brilliant!

I left my very horsey mum (she's been riding/had horses for about 30 years) with the task of getting plaiting thread for my bright bay mare which we have had on loan for nearly 5 years as I had to work.  She bought brown thread instead of black thinking our mare had a brown mane.  She sees her every day!! So dippy!!


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## Elf On A Shelf (25 April 2011)

I'm forever having randoms comeup to me at shows and ask me how big my pony will be when he is older - he is a 21yo shetland who aint gonna be getting any bigger! This I can understand from people who don't have a clue but it gets slightly worrying at work when both the head girl and assisstent trainer ask me why I am not doing anything about the little bits of mud fever on the back of my work horses fetlocks - until I pointed out to them that they were ergots and yes, not all racehorses have them as they have been bred out of them but some still do indeed have them! 

It really makes you wonder sometimes!


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## Lydz13 (25 April 2011)

EKW said:



			I'm forever having randoms comeup to me at shows and ask me how big my pony will be when he is older - he is a 21yo shetland who aint gonna be getting any bigger! This I can understand from people who don't have a clue but it gets slightly worrying at work when both the head girl and assisstent trainer ask me why I am not doing anything about the little bits of mud fever on the back of my work horses fetlocks - until I pointed out to them that they were ergots and yes, not all racehorses have them as they have been bred out of them but some still do indeed have them! 

It really makes you wonder sometimes!
		
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Actually that's probably not as mad as you would think (either that or I am as mad... hum!) my new horse has enormous ones.. I have never seen them before, not on any of the hunters, eventers, studs or racehorses I've worked with! However, I ahve also been known to be quite unobservant and I don't know if I spotted them because I notice everything about her???


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## sarahann1 (25 April 2011)

I <3 My Teddi said:



			Some of these are brilliant. 

I took a call from my friend while I was at my grandads the other day. He overheard me say "do you think you'll be free to come over this week I need a riding lesson?!"
Que my grandad say "bloomin heck after 15years you'd think you'd be able to ride by now!"

*sigh*
		
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Get very fed up with people saying that to me too. I do try explaining that even Olympic riders have lessons, then they just ask who teaches the people who teach the Olympic riders...

A favorite question at work is "how are the horses coping in the rain"...erm fine, last time I checked they don't dissolve in rain. 

I'm still trying to explain the difference between straw and hay to my OH and why you can't just put down a bed of hay to save yourself filling up haynets. He does try hard though, he helped me clean ming stable mats the other week almost without complaint too 

I'm not prefect, I've been riding for 22yrs and I still call rugs jammies and shows parties


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## Elf On A Shelf (25 April 2011)

You should see the ergots my fell pony grows! If left for 6 months they can reach 5in long lol! None of my others actually grow them but they do have the foundations of them. Only one of my TB's has them the others not even a trace.

The other good one I had was in response to an advert for a pony for sale. Said pony was a 2yo shetland colt who was a dream to handle. They rang up and asked if he would be suitable for their 3yo grandson to handle and ride and if he could jump and be able to do normal horsey things. Whilst I had no qualms that the pony could be pulled around by a 3yo child I most certainly wasn't going to sell him to anyone who thought that a 2yo could be ridden and going jumping! And that's before you got to the fact that he was a colt - shetland or no!


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## I*HM (25 April 2011)

These are cracking me up!
My dad comes up with some crackers. He calls the mesh cooler a string vest. Anti-rub vest a sports bra, askes when Alvin's getting shaved (clipped perhaps?), asked if a 2l coke bottle would be enough for Alvin to drink.

They recently have become (even more) strict about bringing overly fresh/green/wired ponies to rallies. Alvin was in one of his wired to the moon kind of moods but we were trying to play it down so we wouldn't get the boot when Dad announces to the DC that Alvin was completely crazy and would probably be wild when I tried to ride him  wrong wording if not completely gringy!

Yesterday he kindly offered to put Alvin out in the field while I put away the tack. Within minutes I heard him shouting my name, came out to find him standing in the car park, Alvin munching on the grass verge and the field gate wide open (with 7 horses in it). Turns out Dad thought you could just open the gate and leave it open until the horse walked in

Another cracker was when my mum came to get me from the yard. I had finished riding Alvin and hopped up on my friends horse. Mum came and watched me ride for a good 20 minutes before telling me how good Alvin was going...eh Alvin is a 15hh dappled (dark) grey connie X cob, the mare I was riding was a 16hh rose grey thoroughbred.

I was riding my old pony (who could be a tad bit bold) when she had a bucking fit across the field, I asked mum if she saw what the pony had just done and just nodded and told me it was very nice


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## Lydz13 (25 April 2011)

EKW said:



			You should see the ergots my fell pony grows! If left for 6 months they can reach 5in long lol! None of my others actually grow them but they do have the foundations of them. Only one of my TB's has them the others not even a trace.

The other good one I had was in response to an advert for a pony for sale. Said pony was a 2yo shetland colt who was a dream to handle. They rang up and asked if he would be suitable for their 3yo grandson to handle and ride and if he could jump and be able to do normal horsey things. Whilst I had no qualms that the pony could be pulled around by a 3yo child I most certainly wasn't going to sell him to anyone who thought that a 2yo could be ridden and going jumping! And that's before you got to the fact that he was a colt - shetland or no!
		
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Amazing isn't it?? I think with Shetties tho people just assume their like a wind up toy. My daughter's got a shettie on loan called Belle. Lovely little horse, very good to be handled, but she only really likes tiny children. My 4 yo can do anything with her but when we have a go she's much more fussy.... Fancy having to ask the 4yo to pick up belle's feet LOL she really is a child's pony


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## JustKickOn (25 April 2011)

My mum today, when watching Badders on tv...
"That Mark Toddles man is very good." Obviously meaning Mark Todd.

Watching the racing before, my mum was talking about which one she though was going on win. The reason? "She has pretty toes!" She, was actually a he.

My dad watched me show jumping one, me and pony happened to part company half way through the course and I flew over the fence alone. Chuckling to my mum "Why did she get off and jump by herself?" He hadn't realised I hadn't got up and was winded and that mum had gone into panic mode! 

Hacked to my house once too. Got back to the yard and my mum had text me. "Your father isn't very happy, hoof marks in the front lawn!! But thanks for the fertiliser."


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## Elf On A Shelf (25 April 2011)

RiderLizzie said:



			Hacked to my house once too. Got back to the yard and my mum had text me. "Your father isn't very happy, hoof marks in the front lawn!! But thanks for the fertiliser." 

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That is class! Love it!


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## bumper (25 April 2011)

I was glued to the Badminton XC yesterday, whilst staying up North at Mum's for the week......"When is your Horse Jumping finishing, cos dinner's nearly ready" LOL!


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## Karran (25 April 2011)

Polo*Pony
Quote de Karran

Once told me that he had recorded me some dressage on H&C.
"I saw it and thought you'd like it cos it was doing that special trottyness you like."
"What do you mean?"
"The special trottyness!" and then proceeded to do his best demonstration of a flying change around my living room.

Bless him!


This has made me cry with laughter... 


~ tbh I dunno if I was more impressed that he'd recognised what I'd spent the last fortnight trying to drum into him or whether I should be more impressed that I recognised what he was trying to do by skipping about!


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## Ravenwood (25 April 2011)

When my daughter was very little (probably about 3) she was down at the stables with me whilst my great big old grey hunter was being shod.  When the blacksmith put on a hot shoe and the smoke came off his hoof, she burst into hysterical tears  "Mummy, I love Ajax - don't hurt him!"

Awww, she really was inconsolable and I still tease her about this now 

My friend made me laugh the other day, her husband had offered to put on her horse's rug as she was busy - when she went down the next morning the turnout rug was on inside out - how on earth he had meticulously managed to do up all the straps and buckles I have no idea but he had - it must have taken him ages!


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## flutterby321 (25 April 2011)

My dad, for about 2 years, called dressage "fancy walking". As in, "are you practicing your fancy walking for a competition??"

Also when I got my first pony and was very novicey, when he was being shod the farrier was asking me to name points of the horse. I was doing well until he said "point to your pony's ergot"
Cue my intelligent reply: "what do you mean ergot? That's a type of bird, isn't it?"

Oops


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## PingPongPony (26 April 2011)

This is so funny! I've had some funny quotes from my very non-horsey family too.

Me trotting over poles, 
Gran : Oh be carefull darling, that looks very dangerous! And remember you don't need to show off! 

Youngster eating hay, stops chewing to try to sniff my dad. Dad snatches the hay out of its mouth, youngster makes a face, dad turns around and lifts his leg up. Me utterly confused as to what he's doing looking at him with a questioning look.
Dad: What?! She was sharing with me and then changed her mind so i threatened to kick her!
okay ??? 

Horse in its stable with full lycra rug on. Dad starts shouting and runs out the stable.
Dad: Someone has painted your horse blue over night! Call the police now!


Friends at lunch break: So what are you doing tonight?
Me: Riding as usual.
Friends (horrified face) : Its cruel! I think it should be made illegal as its animal cruelty! Horses backs hurt and they hate being jumped! 
Me: I'd like you to explain that to my sj mare cuz if there is a jump present she pulls me towards it with her ears up.
Friends ( min of thought) : .... thats just a habbit.

Gran watching me ride.
Gran: I don't want you to trot sweetie, its far too dangerous.

Other gran : I will not touch a horse because i will smell of them for the rest of my life.

I brought leather headcollar home to clean it.
Dad: What is that girth doing here?! 


Thats just a few from my crazy family


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## Dubsie (26 April 2011)

Brontie said:



			One of my particular favourites is the non horsey people that think the ponies, 10hh-12hh are 'baby horses', when in actual fact they're older than most the horses! 

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We always get asked if our (13.2) 21 year old will be as big as the NF (14h, 7yrs) when he grows up


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## clairebearnz (26 April 2011)

My un-horsey Mum always insists my slightly senile, and extremely feral pony needs her "night night cuddles" at feeding time. She seems to misread the look of horror and scorn on Sparky's face as love and devotion.


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