# Letter to parents- potential pony



## sez1 (15 August 2013)

This is the letter to my parents. I am now not so uptight about doing well at trials and putting expectations higher than I can reach as I have never owned a horse or evented before! I will take everything in my stride and cross every bridge as I come to it! 
Also I have put in "coloured" boots and "aqua" saddle pads. These are xc colours things and also for schooling at home and unaffiliated shows. I understand these things may be innecessary but my grandmas offered to buy them to be all matchy matchy so please don't pick up of that being a waste of money. I'm not sure if this link will work but I hope so, please leave a response to what you think if it and any improvements you think I should make. Thanks for reading!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/71xlmur7oc1oxpb/To Mummy and Daddy....doc.docx


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## MerrySherryRider (15 August 2013)

Your letter is lovely and well researched. I think your parents would be impressed by the amount of thought you've put into it. 
However, there are other considerations that may occur to your parents so don't be too disappointed if they don't see things the way you do.
 Its a big step and an expensive one and the commitment is quite an eye opener. Think of a plan B just in case the answer is no, perhaps  sharing or loaning a pony or more lessons on a yard that could offer you the opportunity to go to competitions.
Good luck.


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## LouisCat (15 August 2013)

If this all seems weirdly disjointed it's because I've just made bullet points as I've read through 

If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week

£2304 - lots of money, despite it seeming reasonable

Horses don't all eat the same feed. You won't just be able to chose one particular feed and the horse goes perfectly well on it. When they start needing supplements/conditioning feeds (which many horses do) it can get a lot more money than that!

Bedding could workout an awful lot more than that. A tidy horse might take 1 bale of straw topping up a week but I've mucked out many, many mucky horses which have 3 or 4 bales of straw added per week. Also, if the stables are on concrete not rubber matting they'll require a deeper bed ( therefore more ££££ )

Farrier - remember any pulled shoes will incur more money, again not a rarity with horses!

Saddles - likely to be more than £300 each. You've not included any prices for saddle fitters. If you have an awkward shaped horse this could take lots of time and money to get the right fit.

Good fly spray normally ends up being £12/£13 a bottle and you'll use a few of those through the year 


I can see you have looked into this a lot but I can see why your parents are likely to be less keen than you! You're asking them to budget just under £30,000 of their salaries and with horses it is most likely to end up much more than your budget, they never stick to the plan. Also, you state that they could just sell the pony. It's not always as easy as just selling, it could take months to find a buyer.

I can completely understand your passion, maybe you should give this to your parents but sit there with them. You will need to be understanding if they still don't want to have a pony - they are a huge expense and portion of time. Good luck 


ETA : Horserider makes a very good point  How about looking for a horse to share and gain lots of experience from so that when the time comes for you to have your own horse you'll be much more knowledgeable


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## noodle_ (15 August 2013)

holy crap how much!??!


oh please dont add stuff up it hurts!! 


on a more serious note - i really resect you have sat down and worked it out.....but thats a lot of money to expect your parents to pay .....


why not just leave the eventing part OFF the letter.... as that bumps up the cost massivly.... and focus on just local shows for 2 years and working your way into eventing slowly......??? most people do it that way


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## noodle_ (15 August 2013)

just reading back over your threads (As i was a tad confused....) its not really reading right.... how old are you OP???

i suggest some shares and helping out ar RS  we all dream and theres nothing wrong with that but you need to work your way up


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## sez1 (15 August 2013)

LouisCat said:



			If this all seems weirdly disjointed it's because I've just made bullet points as I've read through 

If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week

£2304 - lots of money, despite it seeming reasonable

Horses don't all eat the same feed. You won't just be able to chose one particular feed and the horse goes perfectly well on it. When they start needing supplements/conditioning feeds (which many horses do) it can get a lot more money than that!

Bedding could workout an awful lot more than that. A tidy horse might take 1 bale of straw topping up a week but I've mucked out many, many mucky horses which have 3 or 4 bales of straw added per week. Also, if the stables are on concrete not rubber matting they'll require a deeper bed ( therefore more ££££ )

Farrier - remember any pulled shoes will incur more money, again not a rarity with horses!

Saddles - likely to be more than £300 each. You've not included any prices for saddle fitters. If you have an awkward shaped horse this could take lots of time and money to get the right fit.

Good fly spray normally ends up being £12/£13 a bottle and you'll use a few of those through the year 


I can see you have looked into this a lot but I can see why your parents are likely to be less keen than you! You're asking them to budget just under £30,000 of their salaries and with horses it is most likely to end up much more than your budget, they never stick to the plan. Also, you state that they could just sell the pony. It's not always as easy as just selling, it could take months to find a buyer.

I can completely understand your passion, maybe you should give this to your parents but sit there with them. You will need to be understanding if they still don't want to have a pony - they are a huge expense and portion of time. Good luck 


ETA : Horserider makes a very good point  How about looking for a horse to share and gain lots of experience from so that when the time comes for you to have your own horse you'll be much more knowledgeable
		
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Well I have added the extras onto the DIY livery so it's actually part livery now haha!

I know they don't eat all the same feeds but I spoke to a feed advisor and she sai that that balanced is the best bet. I can modify it around the pony as it adapts etc.

The horse would be in days in the summer and nights in the winter. That's the costs I have got from local horse owners who keep their horse like that on rubber matting and straw. 

Many people have also said I've overpriced shoeing but that's a good point. 

It's weird as I posted this on somewhere else and the response was totally different! Saying I could get saddles for way cheaper than that on eBay haha. But I have a couple of good friends who would check out a horses back and saddle for free but flocking and all that would cost more i know. 

Fly sprays are the kind of thing we share anyway! But that's how much a good NAF off one cost from my tack shop


Thanks for the reply and advice


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## sez1 (15 August 2013)

noodle_ said:



			holy crap how much!??!


oh please dont add stuff up it hurts!! 


on a more serious note - i really resect you have sat down and worked it out.....but thats a lot of money to expect your parents to pay .....


why not just leave the eventing part OFF the letter.... as that bumps up the cost massivly.... and focus on just local shows for 2 years and working your way into eventing slowly......??? most people do it that way 

Click to expand...

Oh I know! A lot of people have said that! 
I know that the eventing part does bump up the price but I really would LOVE to do that soon and even if I shared or loaned a pony I would still want to do that aha
I might consider sharing one though. I can't find very good sites though. Preloved is empty and equine adverts is only done regionally so they're all too far


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## sez1 (15 August 2013)

noodle_ said:



			just reading back over your threads (As i was a tad confused....) its not really reading right.... how old are you OP???

i suggest some shares and helping out ar RS  we all dream and theres nothing wrong with that but you need to work your way up 

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I'm 13 but on that other post I wanted I know whether I could make a profit or at least get some money back on the pony. I decided to go about that by pretending I was an adult :/ oh well I've learnt from that now


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## BWa (15 August 2013)

Well done OP, I did this several times when I was young but ended up at the local RS instead! 
I would just add your worming costs are high, egg counts can make it much less frequent. And you have budgeted for a smart pony. Would you want to share such a special animal? Maybe get yourself something cheaper and work up the grades together.


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## sez1 (15 August 2013)

BWa said:



			Well done OP, I did this several times when I was young but ended up at the local RS instead! 
I would just add your worming costs are high, egg counts can make it much less frequent. And you have budgeted for a smart pony. Would you want to share such a special animal? Maybe get yourself something cheaper and work up the grades together.
		
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I have thought of this. Even if it would cost 4000 it would still bring down the costs by 2000! It's always fun learning together anyway


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## Pigeon (15 August 2013)

I really admire your determination  



LouisCat said:



			If the horse is on DIY you'll need to be going twice a day every day not 2/3 times per week
		
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This is a good point actually - If you want to event, you're looking at committing a couple of hours every day to training and fittening the horse! I do that (at least, always lose track of time) and fair enough I often do have more than one to ride, but mine is exercised every day for 45mins - 2hours, and still isn't really as fit as an eventer should be. 

Also look into membership for the pony club! If you're small, someone might have an outgrown pony you could ride. 

In the meantime, think about upping your physically fitness, with cardio and also something to help your core strength like yoga, or even just sit-ups. Being fit really, _really_ helps with riding, especially competitively, and it's something you can do for free.


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## sez1 (15 August 2013)

Pigeon said:



			I really admire your determination  



This is a good point actually - If you want to event, you're looking at committing a couple of hours every day to training and fittening the horse! I do that (at least, always lose track of time) and fair enough I often do have more than one to ride, but mine is exercised every day for 45mins - 2hours, and still isn't really as fit as an eventer should be. 

Also look into membership for the pony club! If you're small, someone might have an outgrown pony you could ride. 

In the meantime, think about upping your physically fitness, with cardio and also something to help your core strength like yoga, or even just sit-ups. Being fit really, _really_ helps with riding, especially competitively, and it's something you can do for free. 

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Thank you! Yes I have a very good core and abs (if I may say so myself, always get told off for having a six pack at school, that's not the case haha) and I love doing 100m sprint at school (14.32pb not amazing but thats the 6th time I've ever ran it!) but my stamina is rubbish. Get out of breathe really easily so thank you for that suggestion. I will start going running or something!


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## 3bh (15 August 2013)

Sarah, there is lots of useful advice here and more will come about the nitty gritty l - and also on your previous thread from Mums who knew first had how getting to Pony Trial level works -  so I don't want to repeat it all... but all I will say is I admire your maturity and determination, and I wish you were my daughter! You are clearly intelligent and articulate and have put a lot of hard work into this plan. I just think you need to ensure that you also make your parents aware that you understand that things won't always go to plan, and can be equally mature through downfalls and disappointments.


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## jrp204 (15 August 2013)

I admire your passion and your determination but you must be prepared for your parents not to share in this. You are asking for an enormous amount of money and commitment from your parents. You have well researched things, I would allow more for saddles to start  as you can guarantee the expensive one will be the one that's fits! It is good to aim high but to get to Pony Trials from point zero in effectively 2 seasons would be very difficult. 
Perhaps aim for Pony Club teams to start with, to get to the  novice champs is a huge achievement. Good luck


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## DollyPentreath (15 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			This is the letter to my parents. I am now not so uptight about doing well at trials and putting expectations higher than I can reach as I have never owned a horse or evented before! I will take everything in my stride and cross every bridge as I come to it! 
Also I have put in "coloured" boots and "aqua" saddle pads. These are xc colours things and also for schooling at home and unaffiliated shows. I understand these things may be innecessary but my grandmas offered to buy them to be all matchy matchy so please don't pick up of that being a waste of money. I'm not sure if this link will work but I hope so, please leave a response to what you think if it and any improvements you think I should make. Thanks for reading!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/71xlmur7oc1oxpb/To Mummy and Daddy....doc.docx

Click to expand...

This is how I got my first pony! I think it took me about 10 years to finally get to an affiliated event though..

Have you thought about a few weeks on a professional event yard? I think if you manage to convince your parents to buy you a pony just make sure you have an experienced professional to help guide you. Good luck though!


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## Fools Motto (15 August 2013)

Where are you OP?


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## rotters13 (15 August 2013)

Well done you for all your researching - puts some of my essays to shame! No advice but wishing you all the best. Where abouts are you based? Have you done some work experience on an event yard? That way you will get an opportunity to see exactly how much dedication is required and if you really do want to keep doing it, to make some contacts!


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## J1993 (15 August 2013)

All I wanted to say was blimey that looks expensive!! What experience have you got OP? X


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## FfionWinnie (15 August 2013)

If your parents aren't horsey or rich I wouldn't get your hopes up. Mine were neither and I didn't own a horse until I was out of school and employed. Now I have four, and a daughter to share the fun with. 

I did quite well riding ponies for other folk as a kid, why don't you aim for a loan first or a share, which will come with tack etc. What area are you in?


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## atlantis (15 August 2013)

Sarah I did something similar to this as a teenager (not quite as detailed I have to say) and put it to my parents. I even worked for a dressage judge and trainer and livery would have been free she wanted to support me. My parents being non horsey and not sharing my passion just didn't want to own a horse, end of. They could afford it easily, but didn't want the responsibility. They also were adimant that i gave up my horsey job during my a levels as it took up too much time. They just didn't understand my passion, and still don't.  I too had to wait until adulthood to own my own. 

Now I am an adult I have a non horsey friend with a horse mad daughter and I've spoken to her about getting a pony for her daughter, they can also afford it but don't want to own a horse and dedicate the time etc. 

Non horsey people sometimes don't get it. Please prepare yourself for that. I took the conversation with my dad at 14 years old very badly. Especially when I heard it wasn't about the money.


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## Jo_x (15 August 2013)

I havn't followed your other threads, so I don't know your situation fully, but you need to bear in mind that money isnt the only reservation your parents will have. Having a horse, and especially competing at the levels you want to do, requires a huge time commitment from your parents as well as you and will have a big impact on the rest of your family. I was never allowed my own pony as a child, despite desperately wanting one, not because my parents couldnt afford it but because of the impact it would have had on the rest of the family. They werent prepared to take on the responsibility, costs and stress of something they had no interest in, despite how happy it would have made me - and as an adult now, I can appreciate their reasoning (although the child in me still wishes it had been different!)


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## DabDab (15 August 2013)

Well it is worth a shot op, and your letter is certainly very detailed  However, as others have said it is not only about the money, and as well as the time aspect you may have to get your head around the fact that your parents want the absolute best for you in life and they may, quite justifiably, think that getting engrossed in competitive eventing is not the best for you at this stage in life.

Just have a back up plan in your mind in case they are dead set against it - trying to get weekend work at a riding school or similar would be great experience for you IMO and the more you get to know horsey people the more likely you are to get offered rides by other people. Good luck in whatever you do


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## Cheiro1 (15 August 2013)

I admire your determination OP, but try not to get your hopes up.

It is a lot of money for your parents to commit, and I also think it might go higher than you imagine. £300 for a saddle is not a lot!

I also think aiming to get to Pony Trials from nothing in 2/3 years is asking a lot, you would probably need a proper schoolmaster of a pony which will be commanding many thousands of pounds in it's own right.

I wish you the best of luck but try not to pin everything on this.


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## DonkeyClub (15 August 2013)

Amazing letter, very well researched!!

But i will say that hand on heart it is impossible to get to pony trials unless you have a full time horsey mother that knows and understand the whole game& is helping you/training you/advising you every day. The kids that get to pony trials have been competing in top comps since they were 5 yrs old - they start of in showing ( working hunter ponies) and pony club comps.  They don't do that unless they have the knowledgeable  experienced parents behind them, supporting them - the parents are leading their careers from age 5 to 21 ( then the kid often gives up!) 
Pony trials is unrealistic. Aim for pony club comps to begin with.


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## LynH (15 August 2013)

Did you give this letter to your parents this evening? I'd love to know how you get on. You've clearly given this a lot of thought so as others have said, if they say no then do look into alternatives as it would be good if you could find another opportunity that starts you on the path to achieving your goal. If they don't agree to the whole plan then look at it in stages and aim for the first step and everything else will follow on in time. Don't give up your dream. Good luck


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## Jo_x (16 August 2013)

Also, you say that your friends mum will take you to events - even if this is the case, your parents may feel that is something they cannot possibly expect her to do for you. Have you budgeted for fuel costs - even in a shared lorry, these will amount to quite a lot, plus you wont always be at the same events.


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## ajn1610 (16 August 2013)

You've done a lovely job of writing the letter, but as others have said your competition aims are pretty lofty. Have a look at some of the reports and quotes from the children that are riding at that level. They are almost exclusively from 'horsey' families and it's usually their Mum that schools the pony. Sadly even if you were a talented rider and had a great pony you'd been unlikely to gain a place as you wouldn't have some one helping you with the politics side of team qualification and you'd be up against people who are essentially professional riders with a huge support network at their disposal. If you were picking a team would you pick the kid with years of proven results, in house support, two or three qualified ponies, parents who are prepared to throw ££££££ at training, travelling and competition costs or would you pick you? It's not fair but it's the way it is.
What do your parents do? Do you know how much they earn? There is a lot of snobbery about talking about money but it seems unfair to me that parents complain about children not knowing the value of money if they aren't prepared to share that information. FYI what your talking about there is close to my annual wage! Do you have any siblings? If you do keep in mind that your parents would need to offer similar support to them in terms of time and money to be fair.
I got my first pony when I was your age, prior to that we'd had one on loan from a friend to test the water and see if it was manageable. My Mum is horsey and even now aged 32 I rely on her help and support. We have 4 horses between us but even so all of my competition aims have been frustrated by injury or other issues. I LOVE my horses and still get that pony mad girl buzz however it's come at a cost. It's dictated the job I have, where I went to Uni, where I've lived, the people I've had in my life and to be honest a lot of the time I've been pretty miserable because I've not been able to fulfil my competition dreams. 
I would reassess your position and look at shares/loan at first to prove that it is manageable and just enjoy it without putting pressure on about competing yet.


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## elliebrewer98 (16 August 2013)

Cheiro1 said:



			I also think aiming to get to Pony Trials from nothing in 2/3 years is asking a lot, you would probably need a proper schoolmaster of a pony which will be commanding many thousands of pounds in it's own right.
		
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A friend at PC has just bought a European Pony Trials schoolmaster who at 17 cost them £18000. I don't want to put a downer on your dream, but it seems unrealistic! Depending on your level of expertises, it'll take you either a lot of time or a lot of money or both to achieve your top goals.

How much experience do you have? As mentioned previously, probably the best way to 'set the ball rolling' is to ride as many different horses regularly, especially tricky or naughty ones which will improve your riding as a whole enormously because it's all very well getting a fantastic pony but if you cannot ride it to its full ability because you're overhorsed it'd be a dreadful shame to both you and your parents!

I agree with starting out aiming for PC teams level, it's a fabulous organization to be part of which gives so much support! There is also a lot of potential to be gained from PC, moving up the competition levels, etc. And if you do managed to move up PC competition levels, you'll know that you've achieved something because PC has such a high standard of riding at the moment!

Good luck, I hope you manage to make a decision!! Keep us updated if anything, hopefully, takes off


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## sez1 (16 August 2013)

I haven't had much experience in competing etc so I think Pony Club teams and aiming for NSEA championships is a good start.
Just thinking about plan B: I don't know how owners would feel if they had a pony for sale (not very much just 2-3k) and someone asked to lease it. Some of them can get annoyed especially those who say no loans but a lease is different so maybe they would consider that? 
My mum is a supply teacher/TA which could mean sometimes she wouldn't get called out for ages. But the last 4 weeks of the term she was working four days a week on supply teaching money which is a lot so she's doing quite well t the moment!
My dad brings in the main amount for money. He's in the RAF and gets paid a LOT. However he might be changing jobs soon to fly airliners. (Not british airways or easy jet that belong to a company but PRIVATE airliners that belong to rich Russian business men)
The private airliners needed someone to fly their plane on a one off for 7 days so dad flew it down to the Maldives then swapped pilots there while he had 4 days in a posh hotel there! Then flew it back. This is like supply teaching only in flying so again he got paid loads and went mad and bought pandora bracelets an ipad and an iphone for me (and another one thats now just sat on a shelf) He may be taking this job which is quite exciting as he gets paid tons for this! 

When we were at weston park with my mum she did say she didn't want to go off taking me to competitions every weekend. I do respect this as it takes a lot of time, I do have a couple of good close friends with lorries. One of them events (long listed for the junior euros this year!) and the other one does pony club stuff and competes with the school

Thanks for all the responses please keep them coming as they're all very interesting to read an full of advice for me to take on board!


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## BeckyD (16 August 2013)

I opened the letter not sure what to expect, but was amazed and impressed at the effort you've gone to and the passion behind it. 

A couple of things jumped out at me as probably costing more - pony itself (for your ambitions you may need to triple that budget), lessons with BE coach may be more (my BE-accredited coach is £47/hour), saddles will cost a heck of a lot more (both mine were £1,700 and were the only ones that my horse liked, very very annoyingly, cost-wise!!!), and please don't touch E&L insurance (they are cheap but they never pay out, based on my experience when I was aged 15-18). 

But, I really really hope you reach the part of your parents that feels that passion. I would have been afraid to even try, when I was your age and if I had my time again I would have tried. Good luck and please keep us posted.


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## MandyMoo (16 August 2013)

firstly, I admire your determination and how well you have written the letter; it is very well researched.

everyone else has pretty much covered what I would have said; it is a lovely letter and it does really break everything down for your parents money wise, but again, I am sorry to say please don't get your hopes up. It is a huge commitment to ask of them in the form of money, but also in time, stress and many other ways. You need to understand just how much it will effect the rest of your family you having a pony and competing.

as others have pointed out, there are a few things that would probably cost more on your list of costs. I.e. my saddles were £800 and were the cheapest ones that would fit my horses....as for bedding, my three horses are disgustingly messy...and need the whole bed changing almost on a daily basis if they stay in...! Also farriery, one of my horses needs shoeing every 4 weeks rather than the average 6 week rule for shoeing, and you need to think about possible shoe losses etc etc which can add up quite a lot.

As for your goals...that is a massive goal to reach in 2 years...I myself, when I was younger, had mad dreams about affiliated showjumping; I had a schoolmaster when I was 14 who took me to 1m10 (which took me 5 years to get to rather than my aim of reaching 1m20 within 2-3years.......) and then I got a different couple of horses who I aimed to reach 1m20 with after my schoolmaster was retired...one of these had ridiculous vet bills due to a ligament rupture and so I never got to 1m20 on him, and another horse ended up being a dirty stopper and so I unfortunately lost my confidence completely... Now at the age of 21 I am battling with bringing my confidence back and have only just started doing 95cm courses of showjumps again..... So in all...an aim of 1m20 tracks in 2-3years has led me to, seven years later, be tottering round small courses with shreds of confidence!! In a way I think it was the worst decision I ever did to have such big aims in such a short space of time...it adds too much pressure, and often ends up taking the fun out of competing - which is why you're supposed to do it all right? enjoyment? So if I were you I would aim for something different, that was possibly more likely to be achieved. Your aims of Pony Trials in just 2 years would mean you would need daily training, and more likely a £20,000 schoolmaster international pony.... It may also be worth explaining to your parents that you understand it may not always go to plan with horses - like in my case, unfortunately it all didn't go to plan and I never did as well as I thought/wanted, but as soon as I stopped worrying about doing well/reaching high levels, I have actually started doing much better and getting more placings than I ever did, and I am progressing through the heights quicker than I did with my schoolmaster!! Plus, I actually have FUN 

Sorry to put a downer on your post OP...but it is best for you to come up with a plan B in case your parents see a different side to your request.

Let us know how you get on  As I said, it is a very well written letter, and shows your maturity, determination and passion. Hopefully your parents see this


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## TableDancer (16 August 2013)

soberedup said:



			But i will say that hand on heart it is impossible to get to pony trials unless you have a full time horsey mother that knows and understand the whole game& is helping you/training you/advising you every day. The kids that get to pony trials have been competing in top comps since they were 5 yrs old - they start of in showing ( working hunter ponies) and pony club comps.  They don't do that unless they have the knowledgeable  experienced parents behind them, supporting them - the parents are leading their careers from age 5 to 21 ( then the kid often gives up!) 
Pony trials is unrealistic. Aim for pony club comps to begin with.
		
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Just for the record, this is largely rubbish 

OP that is a fantastic letter, well done  Who knows whether it will get you what you are hoping for, and if it does, who knows how close you will get to achieving your dreams in the short term, but I applaud you for taking this first step - you have showed determination, maturity and commitment and I really hope they get rewarded.

If it doesn't go the way you hope, with the attributes you have already shown you will find a plan B I am sure


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## blackislegirl (16 August 2013)

I agree with all comments about the passion shown by op. I also agree with the hefty dose of realism offered by many. Here are a few further observations
- I have never come across anyone who went into ponies/horses and bought all possible kit for eventing straight off. The costs are ferocious. It makes much more sense to buy stuff as and when it is needed.
- The costs are all to be funded out of 'spare' disposable income by parents who although in professional jobs are essentially on 'zero hours' type contracts. So their work might dry up...and I don't suppose they'll feel like going into debt on this project.
- The letter does not address the risks of the enterprise, and how to mitigate them. As many have said, the risks are enormous.

The op sounds like a bright girl. I was a bright child, desperate for a pony when I was 9 or 10,and one of the most motivating things my mother ever said to me was 'We can't afford a pony and we don't know anything about them. You'll just have to wait till you are older and get a good job and pay for a pony yourself.'

That is indeed exactly what I did. I swopped childhood passion for concentrating on education and getting a good career started. But the germ of the passion remained, and after a few years of proper lessons I bought my first horse in my early 30s.....and since then have enjoyed my riding and low-level competing and plan to keep on doing so. I would never have been a good enough rider for serious competition anyway, and isn't happiness about achievable goals?

So op, as other have said, come up with a more achievable alternative that your parents might be able to support, and then I wish you the very best.


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## hnmisty (16 August 2013)

I haven't read all the replies as I got to this one and had to agree. You've obviously put a lot of thought into your letter.



Jo_x said:



			I havn't followed your other threads, so I don't know your situation fully, but you need to bear in mind that money isnt the only reservation your parents will have. Having a horse, and especially competing at the levels you want to do, requires a huge time commitment from your parents as well as you and will have a big impact on the rest of your family.
		
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^^ This. Finances aside, this is going to be a big commitment for your parents. I see you've added a trailer to your list, so I presume you are expecting your parents to take you to competitions. If they don't have a suitable car for towing, they will also have to get one of those. We started off towing with a normal car, it's fine on roads but not much use if you're going across wet fields. And you're asking your parents to give up a lot of their weekends to sit in a car in a field. 

I don't mean to be harsh, but when I was a similar age to you, I dreamed of becoming an event rider. I too was told I have a natural seat. That doesn't mean I would make it to serious competition level, no matter how much I dreamed of it. No offence, but your parents might not be so convinced that you'll make it to the top if your credentials are a single ODE and enjoying watching Burghley etc. I think you'd be better off lowering your standards and saying you want to compete at Pony Club level. 

I do think your time scales are a bit optimistic- it could take a long time to find the horse of your dreams (especially if you are after one to take you to junior championship levels for £6k. You could find one for that price that has the potential, but you'll have to put in a lot of work with it to get it to that level. Your statement that this horse will be worth more in 2015 is only true if (a) it improves its competition record and (b) it stays sound. 

£300 for a saddle for riding at a high level is peanuts, I'm afraid. Like with your horse, you'd be very lucky to find what you want at that price. You'd need at least a dressage saddle and a jumping saddle, so even if you did manage to find them for that price, that's already £600. You'd need a saddle fitter to fit them. And check the fit. A badly fitting saddle can do a lot of damage. 

You don't factor in vets bills for anything except routine jabs. You never know what will happen. My horse was walking back from the arena the other day and just fell over on his knees and cut them open. He didn't need the vet, but accidents can happen that stupidly. Even if it's covered by insurance, your parents might have to pay out first and then be reimbursed.

Also- look at the reputation for the insurer you have chosen. I asked on here about who to insure with, and was told that cheaper isn't always the best. Certain insurers try to avoid paying out at any cost. 

What happens when you are ill? I mean so ill you can't get out of bed. Will your parents be happy to go out to your horse? I'm even skeptical about the sharer. 2-3 times a week leaves you 3-2 times a week to ride. And if I was riding at the level you are aiming at, I'm not sure I'd want anyone else riding it. If I did, I think someone of the right standard would be hard to find. I understand that you are trying to show your parents that costs can be reduced, but you run the risk of being unhappy at having a sharer, and then presto! Suddenly your parents are paying an extra £100+ a month.

I admire your determination, but I think you've set your initial standards too high. I think you might be better looking for a loan first, so you can take it to some local/Pony Club shows. If you can start winning things then your parents will be more convinced you can make it up the ladder  Please don't think I'm trying to poop on your dreams, but I remember being a bit like you not so many centuries ago!


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## muddy_grey (16 August 2013)

As others have said well done for writing a well researched letter, it is not easy asking for things especially not this big!  I was lucky enough that my parents got me a pony when I was your age and even luckier that it was so long ago full livery was £45 per week!!!!  BUT my parents are not horsey.  You will find this may present real problems. Strangely I was joking about this on Tuesday with my instructor who has known me since I got my first pony.  He said he had never know parents be less involved than mine.  I was not at a standard yard (professional SJ yard) and was 1 of only 2 children and did not get to compete until I could jump senior affiliated. You cannot rely on someone else's mother to take you to shows.  It is not just about the time, which she is already giving to her daughter, but it is a huge responsibility.  Especially taking someone else's daughter eventing where the risks are higher.  Have you spoken to the mother? Would you be happy having a pony without competing regularly? I am currently selling my horse as I don't have my own transport and I am not happy being unable to compete.  I hope to get enough to buy a trailer and a new youngster so next year I can compete.

I think your costs are fair some may be higher, some lower. The equipment section is a bit scary to read.  Some of those items I would consider luxuries and you certainly won't need it all at once.  It might seem less daunting if you par it down to the essentials to start with.  For £6000 you will get a really nice pony, but it is very unlikely you will get one that can take you to pony trials in 2 years.  An older 
pony might, but will most likely devalue over the time and may require more specialist care.

Don't be put off either, you don't have to compete in pony trials to make it. A good grounding at pony club with a decent pony could set you up for a future career in eventing. BE is not the BE all and end all (like what I did there).

Lastly I know you are only 13, but you do not mention any way that you could contribute financially. Do you currently get pocket money that could go towards it.  Have you looked into if there are any yards that might offer a discount if you helped out, even just at weekends.  I worked every weekend and some nights from the age of 13-18 in exchange for lessons and rides.  I also saved my pocket money and did odd jobs etc to pay for things for my horse.  My parents got me the essentials saddle, bridle, a couple of rugs, girth and saddlecloth, but every thing else I paid for myself. You have 7 sets of boots on you list!

I hope this doesn't sound too negative. Good luck and let us know how it goes.


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## HaffiesRock (16 August 2013)

Amazing letter OP, I wish you all the best. Out of curiosity, where do you live?


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## *sprinkles* (16 August 2013)

Hey OP! Everyone has already said it all really! 

What a great idea to write your parents a letter, explaining everything. They will hopefully see how serious you are about the whole thing. Some of your calculations are pretty far off, but to be honest maybe it doesn't matter if it at least gets your parents thinking about it and adding it up and actually considering it as a possibility. 

I just wanted to say, be careful with setting your aims so high. If I'm honest, it's not realistically achievable especially with the timescales and the time you are able to dedicate weekly (weekends + 2-3 evenings a week really isn't enough) I used to compete at a reasonably high level show jumping when I worked at a yard abroad and I rode several horses a day and had a lesson daily. It's a lot of work. But ..... The other thing I wanted to add is that by putting this much pressure on yourself to achieve, you could end up sucking all the fun out of it. Your pony is your teammate and friend, you don't want to be so focused on moving forward competitively that you lose sight of the fun of riding and spending time with your pony. Just a thought ..... 

I think you would get a lot more out of it if you bought a nice pony (and you can get a very nice pony for £6k) to have fun with at the pony club, lessons, local stuff etc and take the time now to lay the foundation for learning to be a really fantastic rider and horsewoman. It's a lot to ask of your parents to be driving you here there and everywhere. 

I don't drive because of medical reasons, so my husband drives me and my horses everywhere. My dad is also very supportive both with his time and financially. I've just begun competing again this year after a long break due to injury (me not the horse!) and I've taken it very slowly and quietly, but really I'd forgotten how much time and energy is required to regularly compete. It's a lot of prep, it's a lot of training, it's a lot of driving not to mention the day of the show all the running about and then the waiting around when you arrive. I'm so lucky to have my hubby and dad, neither are horsey but they want to support me and are both wonderful but ..... I do often feel terribly guilty for taking time away from them that they could be using to follow their own interests. 

I really don't want to spoil anything for you, but you're asking a lot of your parents. If they say yes, that's brilliant! But don't feel too disappointed if they say no, or suggest a compromise. It's a huge commitment and responsibility for them to be taking on. 

Please let us know how you get on! I remember getting my first pony at about your age, it was so exciting!


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## CaleruxShearer (16 August 2013)

Well done for writing such a well thought out letter, Im sure it will help your parents to appreciate how strongly you feel about this..the only thing I would say is that I think you have been quite optimistic with the costs involved!! I did a pretty similar thing when I was your age and trust me the costs are never ending..there are also a couple of little details you've missed slightly, like flu and tet jabs, if a pony/horse is competing at FEI level events so PTs, they have to have them every 6 months. My jump saddle was £2k and my dressage saddle a grand..paid for both of them myself. 
With regards to time...my dad is actually an exec jet captain so does exactly the same job as your dad! I currently have a lovely big fit shiny event horse stood in the field doing nothing because Dad has been away pretty much all this month so hasn't been around to take me eventing! I have to tell you it is absolutely heartbreaking seeing your lovely fit horse 'all dressed up with nowhere to go'! And is actually pretty demoralising eventually. I have also learned the lesson that you should never rely n people to take you anywhere...regardless of what they say! 
I also think the time scale is possibly a little bit optimistic! Riding at PT level takes a hell of a lot of work and training and you need a real bond with the pony, I know you said the fences at Weston all looked v do-able but you have to remember this is because at that point there was no talk of you actually having to jump them!! I've walked Somerford CIC** track and thought it all looked very jump able...because I don't actually have to get on the horse and jump it! 
I really do wish you the best of luck though and hope it all works out well for you, I would suggest maybe look at taking a year as a Wrorking Pupil for someone when you leave school? I did this and it was a fabulous experience, rode a few 4* horses, rode some breakers, had training with some of the best people in the world etc. It does make you appreciate though the amount of time and effort it takes to keep the show on the road though! Even width my one eventer I have missed out on doing a lot of things with my friends because I can't afford it or because I have to do the horse or because Im eventing etc. when I was a working pupil a 13 hour day with 40 mins for lunch was a good day...a lot of the time in the evening I was literally too tired to even string a sentence together! Having said all that though it is a fantastic sport to be involved in, most of my closest friends I have made through eventing and I have had some really really great times that balance out the moments when it all goes t*ts up and you literally never want to look at the horse again!!


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## Mike007 (16 August 2013)

soberedup said:



			Amazing letter, very well researched!!

But i will say that hand on heart it is impossible to get to pony trials unless you have a full time horsey mother that knows and understand the whole game& is helping you/training you/advising you every day. The kids that get to pony trials have been competing in top comps since they were 5 yrs old - they start of in showing ( working hunter ponies) and pony club comps.  They don't do that unless they have the knowledgeable  experienced parents behind them, supporting them - the parents are leading their careers from age 5 to 21 ( then the kid often gives up!) 
Pony trials is unrealistic. Aim for pony club comps to begin with.
		
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I disagree . There are a small but significant number of people out there who repect the enthusiasm and deication of young riders. And who are prepared to put their ponies and horses out there to help them. We all grow old and eventualy we cant ride . But to watch an enthusiastic youngster with potential on our horses is wonderfull. Dear OP I understan you are 13 , at 13 I wanted to ride NH (no not natural horsmanship, National Hunt). No chance, but with a great deal of helpn from friends I eventualy managed to fulfill my dreams by point to pointing. I am so gratefull to so many people who helped me ,even though it was a complete no hoper. Remember, the kid who have it all laid out for them ,are not hungry enough for success. This is your advantage.


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## atlantis (17 August 2013)

Op I agree with all of the comments in here, and u have commented before and may have come across as very negative. However that it probably because I stopped following my dream as my dad in particular did not understand horses and actively discouraged me from riding. 

I worked for a dressage judge and rider who trained with Carl Hester. I used to go with her to lessons at his yard and comps etc. 

I applied to do Physio to become a vet Physio and nearly didn't get in (because if my physics a level grade). My boss offered me a job with accommodation if I didn't get in while I resist my exams, like a year out.  I would have taken it but I did get a place at uni in the end and dad insisted I go. 

I'm not saying its wrong to go to uni, but I regret not taking an opportunity based on the opinions of my dad, who a couple of months later left my mum for his secretary and whose opinion matters to me not a jot now. 

This is a very rambley way of saying, you know your dream, make sure you follow your dreams whether your parents support you or not. Read Mary King's biography. There's a lady who got to the top through hard graft!!! 

Also I'd recommend The Dressage Chronicles books. They're novels but give you an idea if the hard work involved in the competitive horse world and are fun to read too!! 

You will probably need plan b and c and d and e!!! Just  keep trying if its your dream. You only get one life, don't have regrets!!!


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## atlantis (17 August 2013)

I may have commented, not u


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## Jo_x (17 August 2013)

How did it go Sez?


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

Haven't given it to them yet I'm still deciding on a few things. I've updated the equipment list and still not sure whether to sit with them whilst they read it or give it to them before I go out so they can just read it over time!


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

Lots of excellent advice in this thread.  Only one comment from me: the first part of the letter goes into great detail about how you can reduce livery costs down to £15 per week, which sounds not too bad, then you get walloped between the eyes with a grand total of nearly thirty thousand pounds!  It's a massive sum anyway, but it looks even worse after the start of the letter.

Personally I'd also present them with a plan B for a pony kept on DIY, with which you can do Pony Club and just have some fun.  It's much more realistic, it shows to your parents that you're realistic, and the total cost will be peanuts in comparison, so you can explain that if the £30,000 is too much, a 2K pony and basic livery and activities would only cost "X".

Just out of interest, if your parents said no to eventing and a swanky pony, would you be happy if they agreed to fund a cheaper pony (and 2K is a very decent budget) and basic running costs for you to do pony club on and just have some fun with?


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

I think if they said no I'd either look at a cheaper pony that was welsh maybe but if I got one to produce I would look at a horse that was maybe a 15.2 Connemara X so I could then have a lot more time to produce it


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

Sez1, I've just looked over your last thread to get some more background - you gave your dad's salary on that.  If you take off tax, he takes home less than £50,000 a year, and you cannot count on your mum's income as a supply teacher.

I'm going to be absolutely blunt: it isn't fair to ask your father to give up almost 20% of his take home pay every year to fund this, and even if you ask, there's no way your parents will be able to agree to it.

I'm really sorry to be so harsh, but you need another way forward - think about a cheap pony, help pay for livery by working at the yards at weekends, get as much experience as possible and work your way up.


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

Here we go: some Plan B costs 

Pony - budget 2K, that should get you something very nice
Basic tack and start up equipment - 1k
Livery - 2500 a year
Hay and bedding - you have your local hay costs, but look at something like wood pellets for bedding (cheaper) - or even think about grass livery if you can get it?
The feed you quote is much more realistic if you're talking about lower level stuff 
Shoes, etc all stay much the same - but you might get away with just fronts or even unshod.
Explain that extra clothing, bits of kit etc are all things you'll ask for for Christmas and birthdays.
Find out if you can help at your yard to cover either part of the livery cost, or perhaps even earn yourself free lessons?  That would be a massive saving, and it shows you're willing to chip in.
Forget transport for the meantime - local shows might well be hackable, and if not shared lifts are much cheaper (half fuel and a bottle of wine for your driver!)

Honestly, honestly, honestly - I think you will have just as much fun - if not more - doing it this way


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## noodle_ (17 August 2013)

Theocat said:



			Sez1, I've just looked over your last thread to get some more background - you gave your dad's salary on that.  If you take off tax, he takes home less than £50,000 a year, and you cannot count on your mum's income as a supply teacher.

I'm going to be absolutely blunt: it isn't fair to ask your father to give up almost 20% of his take home pay every year to fund this, and even if you ask, there's no way your parents will be able to agree to it.

I'm really sorry to be so harsh, but you need another way forward - think about a cheap pony, help pay for livery by working at the yards at weekends, get as much experience as possible and work your way up.
		
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basically this ^^^



take the cost of the eventing OFF the sheet and go with basic pony..........



i did do the same at your age and finally got my own at 15....i worked to pay for mine too once i hit 16, 


that may go down better


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

It does sound much cheaper that way. Is insurance not necessary then?
I just really wanted to do BE especially PTs. You get a lot of recognition and they're all so close and have made such good friends. It would be a really good start to riding and could help get sponsors and stuff.


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## noodle_ (17 August 2013)

insurance is a must...!!!!  mine cost me on average £30 a month for a general riding horse....

just cut the eventing stuff off the letter and to be honest they (and we) will take you more seriously..... sorry to be blunt but if my daughter came to me with that letter it woudl be a flat no.... (because of cost and unrealistic expectations!)


just go with livery costs/insurance and forget competing until you actually get a horse....!   then gradually sugest competing once you have a horse (not before!)


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

Yes, but you can get much cheaper insurance - mine has 4k vets bills and death / theft / straying and it's twenty something pounds a month.

You can still have the friends  and you'd actually get stacks of helpful experience if you also volunteer to groom for them at events, etc.  Forget sponsorship; that doesn't come until you're winning well and often!

Pony Club events are great fun, and both Pony Club and Riding Clubs offer opportunities to aim for teams and ride regionally and nationally.


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## BWa (17 August 2013)

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you are starting to sound like a storyline from pullen-Thompson novel now. I havent seen how much experience you have but if you have done most of your riding at a riding school you will still have a lot to do, sponsors arent necessarily going to come and seek you out. You seem so fixated on this pony teams thing. Why don't you get a pony to enjoy first. Sorry for being blunt but this thread is frustrating me! 
Ps a few people have asked where you are, they may have some good opportunities for you.


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

Oh I didn't notice sorry. I'm in Lincoln. Area 6 for pony club


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## noodle_ (17 August 2013)

BWa said:



			I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but you are starting to sound like a storyline from pullen-Thompson novel now. I havent seen how much experience you have but if you have done most of your riding at a riding school you will still have a lot to do, sponsors arent necessarily going to come and seek you out. You seem so fixated on this pony teams thing. Why don't you get a pony to enjoy first. Sorry for being blunt but this thread is frustrating me! 
Ps a few people have asked where you are, they may have some good opportunities for you.
		
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haha same 

hence why i was so blunt before...!!! 

just focus on getting the pony.............that in itself is most peoples biggest issue!! even as an adult paying for it - its tough!!!


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## Lolo (17 August 2013)

You make friends with ponies no matter what. Al has never done pony trials, rarely does BE, has no special results or big successes to her name and the likelihood of her getting sponsored atm is almost zero. She still has the most amazing bunch of good friends from her years in the PC, she's got an owner (well, two!) and is doing well for herself. The best thing about PC is your friends all live near you. You can meet up and go for hacks or schooling sessions together and see each other on a regular basis.

You don't need to do YR stuff, or PT stuff to be a success IMO. It's one route there sure, but in all honesty one reserved for the rich. I know loads of people say it's not, but 'rich' is a pretty relevant term. To my family, anyone who can afford to do PTs is rich- most PT riders will spend thousands on entries each year, let alone training and everything else!

Your letter is really good, and well thought out. I really hope it convinces your parents you're serious and dedicated to riding and you've put a lot of effort into working out the feasibility of it.


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## TarrSteps (17 August 2013)

Good for you for taking this so seriously and doing all this work. I'm sure your parents will be impressed. 

Can I ask though, what do you plan to bring to the party? Do you currently have any income? Are you planning to offer to do more at home to offset the time they will have to spend on your hobby? Have you looked into ways you might be able to raise money or trade off services for your horse costs? What will you offer to do without to contribute?

You are asking your parents for a LOT of money. More than many people on here make in a year. More than they have, judging by their jobs, sitting unused in a bank account somewhere. Why should they buy you a pony and spend all that money? Because they love you, obviously, but if they had that to spend wouldn't they already be spending it? What will your family be doing without so that you can have what you want?

I don't mean to be harsh but you are being commendably grown up about this and these are the kinds of things grown ups need to consider. I think it's very respectful of you to approach this in an organised, adult manner but please be prepared to carry that respect a bit further if your parents say they are doing their best as it is and, alas, as much as they want to help you, we don't always get what we want in life.

There are ways to be involved with horses and impress people with your skills that don't cost nearly as much as getting your parents to buy you a pony. If it's not to be, oh well. Work within your limitations. There are always limitations in horses (in life!) - it's not a bad lesson to learn. 

Good luck!


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## Jnhuk (17 August 2013)

Sorry I am going to be very negative here and I really feel for your parents. You have shown that you can google to research stuff but I really doubt how much real knowledge or true understanding you have about the things you have put in your letter. I am not certain if it is that you are really clueless and truly naive or just that the desire to follow your dream in blinding you.

In this day and age - who worms as often as you are quoting? Have you not done research on wormers and worm resistance etc??? and why on earth would you get insurance from E&L, if you had researched them properly? 

I was a responsible child who like you was determined with non horsey parents. I worked at a local yard and got brilliant instruction and opportunities to compete etc... I really think it is so unfair and immature of you to expect your parents to bankrole it all!   

If you are that committed and dedicated and prepared to put in hard work with you being such a 'good natural rider' then I would look at helping out at yards in return for rides/lessons/competition experiences. Get a real equestrian education by practical experience and see where that takes you.

Your time frame for achieving your goals are also unrealistic but I am sure that with some good old common sense, some growing up and stop being so self centred (although you may call it being determined), there will be a way forward for you without mortgaging your parents! 

I really hope your parents have the common sense to turn you down as when you are older, I think you will thank them for that. 

Moderate your aspirations, put in some hard work and you will get a lot of fun out of horses/ponies and they will teach you a lot of life lessons.

Good luck and sorry I sound such a negative OAP!


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

Jnhuk said:



			Sorry I am going to be very negative here and I really feel for your parents. You have shown that you can google to research stuff but I really doubt how much real knowledge or true understanding you have about the things you have put in your letter. I am not certain if it is that you are really clueless and truly naive or just that the desire to follow your dream in blinding you.

In this day and age - who worms as often as you are quoting? Have you not done research on wormers and worm resistance etc??? and why on earth would you get insurance from E&L, if you had researched them properly? 

I was a responsible child who like you was determined with non horsey parents. I worked at a local yard and got brilliant instruction and opportunities to compete etc... I really think it is so unfair and immature of you to expect your parents to bankrole it all!   

If you are that committed and dedicated and prepared to put in hard work with you being such a 'good natural rider' then I would look at helping out at yards in return for rides/lessons/competition experiences. Get a real equestrian education by practical experience and see where that takes you.

Your time frame for achieving your goals are also unrealistic but I am sure that with some good old common sense, some growing up and stop being so self centred (although you may call it being determined), there will be a way forward for you without mortgaging your parents! 

I really hope your parents have the common sense to turn you down as when you are older, I think you will thank them for that. 

Moderate your aspirations, put in some hard work and you will get a lot of fun out of horses/ponies and they will teach you a lot of life lessons.

Good luck and sorry I sound such a negative OAP!
		
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^^^^
I guess this is exactly the reason why this letter has sat on my computer for months and months and months. I've been a coward and I truly am really feeling rubbish about myself. Deep down I know my parents don't want to do this for me but they haven't said that to me. That's why I haven't given it to them because I always think that by not giving it to them there is still a hope. 
I'm crying writing this an I know you'll all think I'm immature now. But I spend so long finding out about these pony trial riders, their ponies and how it all works. Even Felicity Collins and pPippa Gloag who compete in pony trials have said I'm really obsessed and probably know more about it that them. I'm just so angry with everything and don't know how I'm going to eat anywhere with riding if I'm going to feel this way an I don't even have a horse yet


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## dafthoss (17 August 2013)

You don't need to be doing pony trials to be getting somewhere with riding. Why not aim for a nice pony you can compete with and learn how it all works? If you ride well enough and have the right attitude people will notice you and you might even be offered a sit on something that can teach you a bit more from time to time.


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## TarrSteps (17 August 2013)

Two things. . .

Of course you're immature! You're 13!  I'm not being mean - we were all young once - but it goes with the territory. Luckily, time fixes that. (For most people, anyway.  )

Secondly, I highly doubt that your parents don't WANT to do this for you, judging by the information we've seen, they CAN'T. At least not without everyone giving up anything but the bare essentials. That is really not a fair thing to say!!

And I'll bet everyone here has said something like it to their parents, who have replied with some variation of, 'Oh well, thems the breaks.' Your parents' job is to teach you about life and right now you are learning that life is not always about what we want and that, frankly, jealousy gets you nowhere but miserable. One of the most useful things I learned at your age was that there are people in the world with real problems and I'm not one of them. Sometimes I still struggle to remember this!


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## *hic* (17 August 2013)

Don't cry about it - if you are going to be a decent rider then it will shine through even with a rather average pony. 

Rejig your costs for a pony that will get you out and about starting PC and getting onto teams, check out your local RC juniors as well - more access to decent well priced training and teams. I know that it's always said that PC teams riders have expensive horses but that is not always the case, certainly not in our PC.

Once you are out and about people will get to know you and you may well find yourself offered rides on animals that can take you further.

At the moment you're trying to finance driving an F1 car when you need to go out and get a small car to learn to drive in.  Get a pony, get yourself out and about, get on PC / RC teams, do BE80 and 90 and then see where you are going to.

edited to add: What about something like this, it's fairly local to you, it seems to have been about and done quite a bit and is the sort of age where if you sell it in the next couple of years and safe sane and sensible but able to go out and do you're unlikely to lose money on it.  http://www.horsemart.co.uk/all-rounder-horse-13-yrs-3-mths-14-0-hh-brown-linc/Horses/302031


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## FfionWinnie (17 August 2013)

I'm still not sure about your riding ability as things stand, I'm not sure you know either to be honest, which makes me think you are quite novicey. 

Buying a 6 grand pony is all very well but realistically you will most likely find yourself totally over horsed. 

I mentioned already I never had a horse as a kid. I rode from very young, had vey few lessons and didn't ride RC type ponies so although I was self taught in the main, I was effective and could ride difficult types. When I was about 15, my friend who had ridden for a few years on RC type ponies was bought a pony by her parents. It ended in disaster, the pony was fine, but far far too much horse for her. She would have been fine for me. 

I think you are setting yourself up for failure the way you are doing it. Find a share locally on something suitable for your current riding ability. Approach your parents about that first. If this goes well, then you increase your aims.  You still don't need a 6 grand pony and two half pads/aqua saddle cloths/white saddle cloths tho, honestly


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## LynH (17 August 2013)

How about taking your letter and this thread and go speak to your parents. Explain how keen you are and that you've been nervous about talking to them in case it's an outright no and ask them what the possibilities are. At the moment you have no idea what they think or what they would be willing to do. If you talk to them you may discover what is feasible and then you can formulate a plan which is achievable. 

I think if you show them your letter and this thread they will see how much thought you have given this and I can't imagine they wouldn't have a conversation with you about what is possible. You've put it off for months wondering what they will say, ask them then you know what to do next.


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## Kat_Bath (17 August 2013)

I have followed this thread with interest. A lot of people have already replied with advice and stories of their own and I'd like to follow suit and tell you a bit about me because I was in a similar position when I was your age.

When I was 13, I had a really crappy time going from one school to the other which resulted in a period of upset. I only lived with my mum (and siblings but it was a single parent family) and my room was wall to wall horses. I begged to have riding lessons but the answer was always the same: no money.*

One Saturday, I think because she was so fed up of me wallowing, Mum took me to a school about 40 minutes by 2 buses away from our home. I had a lesson in exchange for an afternoon trial to see if I could help out at weekends. On that first day I met my friend Meg.*

The trial went well and I got the bus every Saturday and Sunday in exchange for a ride.

After a couple of weeks, the owner offered me a paid position because one of the girls was leaving. It meant I had to be there by 7am every Saturday though. Originally, I couldn't take the job but one of the ladies that worked there (who also taught at my school) lived nearby, saw how happy I was and offered me a lift.

I'm 25 now and I ride once a fortnight at a school near me because that's all I can afford. Up until November last year i had never competed!

I'm still friends with Meg and I left the riding school at 16 to have a little pony on loan from *the lady who gave me lifts in the beginning. However, I outgrew her and had to work towards school exams.*

I've always wanted my own horse but it's not something you can force. You either have to work very hard (as I am doing at this stage in my life, independently) or you have to chill and wait for opportunities to come to you. I still won't own my own horse until I'm fully ready; I will own a lorry and have the correct licence before ownership so I can enjoy it to the full-I'm not someone that does anything halfheartedly.

Don't give up, don't feel downhearted, don't cry over milk that's not yet spilt. Be proactive, work hard at school, help out a riding school, do whatever it takes. One day, even if it's in 20 years time, you will have what you want and you will do whatever you want to do and do it well. Yes life is too shirt sometimes but don't forget as well, you're young, you have time. The present is not the be all an end all; don't forget about the future!


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

Fab post, Kat_Bath

Sez, don't cry   Apart from money, the one thing you MUST have to make it to the top is the ability to find solutions and overcome setbacks.  Talk to your parents, and if they agree to buy you a pony, make the most of it.  If they don't, or won't yet, find somewhere to help out.  Horses and riding have so much more to offer than just competing in one particular discipline at one particular level.  Make the most of EVERY opportunity, and before you know it you'll be achieving and enjoying more than you ever realised you would


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## SusieT (17 August 2013)

to be honest, I think the people telling you it's unfair to expect your parents to bankroll this are the ones who are being unfair. Parents bankroll their kids all the time, to the tune of this and more, be it for private school, ponies, golf, sailiing, any sports etc.  OP-give them the letter. Let them tell you what they think, if it's a no, well you'll have to wait until you're older and can work and pay for it. If it's a yes but, well then you work with the buts. But until you give them the letter you don't know.


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## oldie48 (17 August 2013)

Sez, I'm sorry but I didn't have the time to read all of the posts but i read quite a lot. i think you are a very gutsy ambitious young woman but unfortunately sheer determination to succeed can mean that you are so focused on where you want to be, you don't enjoy the journey. My daughter did PTs for 2 years, she also competed aged 13 at the PC senior eventing Champs. It was a wonderful experience but came along by chance. 14.2 ponies that can compete at that level are rare. We bought a 5 year old when my daughter was 11 for less than £4K (some years ago), she'd ridden from 6 and had brought on another 5 year old when she was 7 and was quite an experienced and brave rider for her age. However, this very talented youngster was quite tricky, we spent lots of money on lessons (much more than you have budgeted) and thankfully he eventually came good and was her pony of a lifetime but i dedicated hours and hours of my time taking her to lessons, hacking out with her because he was nappy etc etc. jMost talented ponies are not easy but she started to do really well, got picked by her PC for area horse trials, got throughto the Champs and got noticed. WE never set out to do this, it just happended. She did the trials, did well in the early events but never really performed at the final trials. It was a fab experience but the kids who went on the teams came from really horsey backgrounds or had loads of money. Team ponies changed hands for nearly £100k and even then the new owners needed loads of expensive lessons to be able to ride them and lots of help to get them competition fit. Who knows, you could turn out to be the best rider the UK has ever had but why don't you just enjoy your riding and see where your talent and opportunities take you.


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## hnmisty (17 August 2013)

FfionWinnie said:



			I'm still not sure about your riding ability as things stand, I'm not sure you know either to be honest, which makes me think you are quite novicey.
		
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I have to admit, I know naff all about OP's riding ability, but I'm being led to believe this. 

Going from a single ODE (or "ODE") to the top level of BE/riding at junior championship level in 3 years is about as likely to happen as me beating Usain Bolt over 100m. Technically, it's possible. But it's never going to happened. 

You're talking about having to have a very good placing at every event you go to, and even then I doubt it's possible. Even top riders get eliminated or have to withdraw.

Looking through your letter again several things jump out. You expect to make it to the top on one lesson a fortnight. Nigh on impossible, I'd say. Someone on here said they competed at a fairly high level and were having a lesson every single day.

Some of your costs... Why spend £20 on an aqua headcollar and lead rope? You could get one for half that price. Coloured and plain overreach boots...why? Surely you only need one pair if you're trying to keep costs down. You replace them when they get trashed. Some of the things on your list seem to be there for fashion. All this colour stuff. Of you really wanted to keep costs down for your parents, you wouldn't care what colour your headcollar is. 

I think you need to lower your ambitions and be more realistic. I think if you wrote them that letter as "I've done my research on costs, I'd really like a pony to do pony club stuff with" then that would be lovely and you'd have much more chance of success.

Even if your parents agreed, I think they would soon be disgruntled when they realise that you budgeted everything at the bare minimum so they were more likely to say yes. What if the only saddle that fits your pony costs £1200? Perfectly possible. But you promised them it would cost £300. That's a £900 increase. I can understand why you went for (mostly) the basics, but it's a dangerous tactic. Even things like rugs...it's always useful to have two turnouts, in case one gets wrecked or soaked. Double the cost. 

The F1 scenario given is very apt. You don't need a pony that can compete that highly, you haven't proved that you have the ability for one. Lower your standards (and be prepared to accept a brown headcollar) and you're much more likely to succeed


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## Theocat (17 August 2013)

SusieT said:



			to be honest, I think the people telling you it's unfair to expect your parents to bankroll this are the ones who are being unfair. Parents bankroll their kids all the time, to the tune of this and more, be it for private school, ponies, golf, sailiing, any sports etc.  OP-give them the letter. Let them tell you what they think, if it's a no, well you'll have to wait until you're older and can work and pay for it. If it's a yes but, well then you work with the buts. But until you give them the letter you don't know.
		
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Of course they do, when they can afford it.

The vast majority of parents do not bankroll to this level, though, because it is unaffordable. More than 90% of children in this country do not go to private school.  Sending the OP to a middle-of-the-road boarding school would take half her father's take-home pay every year; do you really think most of the parents splashing out on private schools and expensive sports tuition are doing it on the sort of salary we're talking about here?

A dose of reality is what's needed in this thread, and TBH you aren't helping.

A pony is one thing - and I can't see any reason why she can't ask for that - but getting set up in eventing is a different matter altogether.


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## Baggybreeches (17 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			It does sound much cheaper that way. Is insurance not necessary then?
I just really wanted to do BE especially PTs. You get a lot of recognition and they're all so close and have made such good friends. It would be a really good start to riding and could help get sponsors and stuff.
		
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I haven't commented on this before, but honestly sez, please be realistic I am afraid you are basing your proposal on a great deal of fantasy. Get a pony ( any cheap old pony will do for now ) and show your parents you are serious and they may want to invest more time and money into your hobby. Just another note of caution, I assume your experience is riding school related? If so please do bear in mind that it is highly unlikely that the people teaching you will have any concept of what is required to compete and be successful at the level you are aiming at. So they may heap praise on you being their star pupil but that is a world away from performing a PT dressage test in front of an international panel.


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## SusieT (17 August 2013)

Some are doing it on very small salaries-smaller than you'd think! There's reality and *no ones parents would ever pay for a pony, I never got a pony so neither should anyone else* attitudes and I'm providing a dose of the other, it's up to the parents to decide if it's realistic-not us!


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## Baggybreeches (17 August 2013)

SusieT I agree my mum worked as YM at a livery yard ( she is/was a single parent) our ponies keep was part of her payment. As she drove the hgv lorry for YO we got to go to shows ( proper county standard shows). It can be done on a budget but its not easy and it does require horsey parents that are slightly ( in the nicest possible way) unhinged to go that extra mile for their kids.


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

SusieT said:



			Some are doing it on very small salaries-smaller than you'd think! There's reality and *no ones parents would ever pay for a pony, I never got a pony so neither should anyone else* attitudes and I'm providing a dose of the other, it's up to the parents to decide if it's realistic-not us!
		
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Thank you for this Susie. I do suppose you're right. I know I have overpriced some things and under priced others although many people have recommended the wintec synthetic dressage saddle for a first time dressage saddle. Also the shires Optimus puissance saddles look good too. These saddles are less than 450 new so should be able to get them for around 300 second hand. I've redone the price list so might post that later 

I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)


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## DabDab (17 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
		
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Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?


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## Baggybreeches (17 August 2013)

Honestly sez, break the whole thing down into steps. Get the pony, then decide what to do! I've been doing horses my whole life and I wouldn't dream of putting this much pressure on myself even though I can drag one of mine out to any type of show and do a half decent job I wouldn't expect the results you are aiming for. Genuine question but have you ever even been to watch an unaffiliated dressage competition? Because that's as important as the jumping phases now!


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

DabDab said:



			Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?
		
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I jump small courses up to 90cm and have jumped up to 1.10 in a chase me Charlie lesson. It's not much I know but I haven't really had the chance to jump much


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## Baggybreeches (17 August 2013)

Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

Baggybreeches said:



			Honestly sez, break the whole thing down into steps. Get the pony, then decide what to do! I've been doing horses my whole life and I wouldn't dream of putting this much pressure on myself even though I can drag one of mine out to any type of show and do a half decent job I wouldn't expect the results you are aiming for. Genuine question but have you ever even been to watch an unaffiliated dressage competition? Because that's as important as the jumping phases now!
		
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I have watched a few dressage competitions in my life. Tbh it's my favourite phase I think! To be in the top placings at pony trials I know you need great dressage. But if I want to get around safely I want to make sure we could make the height. I will cross every bridge as I come to it though


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## wench (17 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
		
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Not quite sure where you have got the idea from that BE100 have fences less than 90cm.... the ones I have seen recently certainly do not.

Four or five months is probably not possible to get a horse ready for a novice/intermediate course. You unfortuantly cannot make plans for things, as they invetiably go wrong.

I wanted to (and still do) compete at BE. I had the "perfect" horse for it, 16.3 NH TB type with excellent paces, and a neat clean jump. Would he do it? No, mainly because he didn't want to, and because I hadn't got enough lessons on him. Simple.

My current horse was also hopeful that she was going to do BE 4yo/5 yo classes. The wheels fell of the band wagon, and that dream will never be realised.


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## sez1 (17 August 2013)

Baggybreeches said:



			Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete
		
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Really?! I've never heard of that before. I know that under sixteens or under eighteens have to be assessed before they go novice (onu18, PON, Pt) but dodnt think it was before they competed


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## Lolo (17 August 2013)

DabDab said:



			Depends on the pony, but probably not. What is your jumping experience to date?
		
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You could, depending on the pony and you- Al's done it twice, with varying success.

First was when she was 11-13. Cob on loan to her, set off doing 85cm, finished the first year doing 1m SJ and then the following year did mostly 1m and by mid-summer moved up to the occasional 1.10m. Looking back, she was crazy, the pony was crazy, and we were total novices and were so lucky it didn't go wrong (pony was too small to do BE on, so all of this was largely un-monitored!). 

Second was going from 90cm ODE September to PC Open the following spring, but the pony had a lot of experience at this height and Al was gutsy and had enough sense to not be unsafe (although it was lairy, looking back). 

In all honesty, it wasn't the safest and Al got through on sheer determination and a lot of luck. Both ponies were on loan, but both were originally for sale miles within your budget.


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## Lolo (17 August 2013)

Baggybreeches said:



			Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete
		
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They don't, I'm pretty sure. They didn't when Al started- she was 14 on a 14.1hh, and set off straight at BE100...


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## 3Beasties (17 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			Thank you for this Susie. I do suppose you're right. I know I have overpriced some things and under priced others although many people have recommended the wintec synthetic dressage saddle for a first time dressage saddle. Also the shires Optimus puissance saddles look good too. These saddles are less than 450 new so should be able to get them for around 300 second hand. I've redone the price list so might post that later
		
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They may be nice, fairly cheap saddles but there is no guarantee that they would fit the pony you bought so I don't think you can plan what saddle you would get until you had a pony.




			I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
		
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Possible but not likely. It might take 6 months just to get to know the pony/learn what buttons to press etc. I've owned my mare since September last year and have only started jumping her this month due to problems we have encounted along the way.


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## Baggybreeches (17 August 2013)

Is that a new(ish) thing it wasn't numbers when I last evented but I am sure juniors had to be accredited? I wasn't a junior so it didn't make any difference but I remember reading about it


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## Benjis_girl2 (17 August 2013)

I've just read your letter and your replies on this post and firstly, I just want to say how refreshing it is to see someone as young as you appear to be genuinely keen on horses... Your enthusiasm is lovely and your letter reminds me of something I would have written at your age to my parents, although without perhaps so much detail... I almost had a heart attack when I looked at your costings as I now own 7 of the little monsters and I tend to just ignore how much I spend these days... If your parents agree to buying you a pony, they will soon learn this invaluable skill too!! One thing you don't seem to have mentioned in your letter is the sheer time (both actual & emotional) these animals seem to take up and added to that the sheer graft involved in looking after them, and that is even before you have any chance to compete and enjoy winning and good times with them.... Also you do need to set a contingency plan as without meaning to put a dampner on things, horses do have an uncanny habit of going wrong when you least expect or want them to and you have to be prepared for that... If I was you, I would slightly edit your letter and look to compete to a lower level for a few years and get a few years of horse ownership under your belt. It would enable you to enjoy your new equine partner and learn with him/her and would lessen the pressure for you parents slightly also... 

I believe from your previous posts, you are fairly local to me... If ever you want any work experience or just looking to spend time with/around horses and get a feel for what it would be like to own one, then please just give me a shout... I would be more than happy for you to come to my yard and gain a bit more experience...


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## Lolo (17 August 2013)

Baggybreeches said:



			Is that a new(ish) thing it wasn't numbers when I last evented but I am sure juniors had to be accredited? I wasn't a junior so it didn't make any difference but I remember reading about it
		
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Yeah, they did but the year before Al started that was removed. Now they have to start with BE90 if they're under 14 and do qualifying runs for BE100, and if they're 14 they have to do 4 BE100s and then get approval to do ONu18. It did use to be that you had to be watched and passed by a BE coach but that was scrapped as far as I'm aware.


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## MandyMoo (17 August 2013)

3Beasties said:



			Possible but not likely. It might take 6 months just to get to know the pony/learn what buttons to press etc. I've owned my mare since September last year and have only started jumping her this month due to problems we have encounted along the way.
		
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agree with this... a major problem with your time scale is that you haven't accounted for the first 6months to a year of getting a new horse (especially as it will be your first ever one..) is the time for getting to grips, learning their buttons and making a bond....I got my most recent horse June last year, so around 14 months ago and have only just recently clicked and started getting good results...

just be aware of this... in my opinion your 4-5 months for preparing for novice and intermediate is no way enough....especially as during the winter months there is often a good month, maybe two, where ground is unrideable due to frozen or wet ground........so xc would be out of the question a lot of the time.


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## ahml100 (17 August 2013)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfgLjp-wX8g skip to 51 minutes or watch the whole thing it was really eye-opening! 

I was like you when I was 16 apart from I have had ponies since I was 7 but only really hunted, some rallies and the odd summer show, but when I moved onto horses at 16 I had these wild ideas that I would make the juniors win medals and have loads of fans. I also thought that I knew everything about a good horse and had natural raw talent (I had only done 3 ODES!). The truth is I did not! I got a horse that was not quite right, I could barely do dressage but thanks to hunting I did know how to kick for a fence! that was it though. I had a brilliant trainer who/ still does teach me but I still really botched up. I asked too much for my horse and myself and ended up ruining him for a year-it took me that long to build up his confidence again because I wanted to become the best when I had no foundations myself. I then spent 1.5 years doing 2'6-2'9 to build up my foundations (read the parable of the two builders) and because of that my horse grew in confidence and so did I. Sadly though I lost that horse in an accident and to this day I can not thank him enough for what he taught me. I now at the tender age of 19 have a wonderful and actually very talented 5 yr ISH who has got 'it' but I have learnt not to run before I can walk and am very much taking it very steady with UA80T so that his foundations will be ready for BE next season I have also realised whilst it is ok and brilliant to have dreams, remember, 'brick by brick'


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## kirstyhen (17 August 2013)

I know what it's like to be a pony mad kid, as do the majority (if not all of the posters!) on here! I wrote my parents a similar letter when my favourite riding school pony came up for sale (although he was 500 quid!) whilst it didn't get hem to buy him for me (thank god, I'd have outgrown him in 5seconds flat!) they did take me seriously and respect me for the thought I'd put into. I would be more realistic with your aims, if for no other reason than to stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Take it from me, horses are a dam site more fun when you're 13 and blasting around the countryside, than they are when you're nearly 30 and trying to make a living from them! Enjoy it while you can, because one day you will achieve your dream (even if you never ride on the PT teams, you will get other dreams) and then it all becomes serious and a bit of a pain in the backside at times! I don't have sponsors or any outside pressure to do well at competitions, yet I can ruin weeks stressing about a run I have coming up, or whether the horse is sound/intact/healthy/fit/etc. Riding was so much fun when I had my trusty cob and could blast about the countryside having fun!


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## TarrSteps (17 August 2013)

Lolo said:



			You could, depending on the pony and you- Al's done it twice, with varying success.

First was when she was 11-13. Cob on loan to her, set off doing 85cm, finished the first year doing 1m SJ and then the following year did mostly 1m and by mid-summer moved up to the occasional 1.10m. Looking back, she was crazy, the pony was crazy, and we were total novices and were so lucky it didn't go wrong (pony was too small to do BE on, so all of this was largely un-monitored!). 

Second was going from 90cm ODE September to PC Open the following spring, but the pony had a lot of experience at this height and Al was gutsy and had enough sense to not be unsafe (although it was lairy, looking back). 

In all honesty, it wasn't the safest and Al got through on sheer determination and a lot of luck. Both ponies were on loan, but both were originally for sale miles within your budget.
		
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To be fair though, that's still along way from jumping mostly riding school types, even over the occasional larger fence, to jumping BE Novice/Intermediste successfully in under two seasons. . .


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## kirstyhen (17 August 2013)

TarrSteps said:



			To be fair though, that's still along way from jumping mostly riding school types, even over the occasional larger fence, to jumping BE Novice/Intermediste successfully in under two seasons. . .
		
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It's taken me 22 years of riding in total, 8 years of very low level competing out of a riding school, 1 season at BE80 on my trusty cob and 2 and a half seasons on Moot to get to Novice, and even then it went wrong!


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## Lolo (17 August 2013)

I know, but right now everyone's pissing on her parade and there's literally no harm in a 13yo dreaming big. God knows, we've all done it. The route she wants to take is pretty safe- BE monitor you carefully when you're a junior, you have to qualify to move up levels and there's someone there to say no because BE really don't want a teenager having an accident because they're overfaced. So if she does get a pony and does try this all out, if it goes well she'll be fine and if it doesn't someone will stop her. 

I don't know. I just feel for sez1- Al used to dream so big when she was younger and now is older and has done let downs and runs of bad luck is firmly in the realms of reality and those dreams did her no harm. I mean, we were unhorsey, she'd done 4 years of riding and had done a few 90cm SJ rounds and a few 80cm ODEs. Got Henry and things exploded a bit and she's not looked back. It might not be the journey the OP wants but with some different luck it could have been an approximation of it (second pony Al was aiming to do some PTs on, but she broke down).


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## BWa (17 August 2013)

My last thought on this thread and I've had a look through your others OP. You are so fixated with the PTs and eventing that it worries me that even if you did get a nice pony and wouldn't enjoy it until you reached your goal and heaven forbid you had issues to address along the way. 
I really feel you need you to set the goal posts a little lower to appreciate what you might get. 
That's it, I'm out...


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## JulesRules (18 August 2013)

Have you thought about trailer insurance? Approx £100 for the year. Also Equine recovery - an extra £45 to £65 a year. Servicing for the trailer annually?  Call it £150. Some livery yards charge storage for a trailer or do you intend to store at home?   I assume your parents already have a suitable tow vehicle as I don't remember seeing those costs but what about the extra fuel? 

Some of the things you won't need at the start - you could get by with 2 numnahs ( one to wash and one to wear) at a  tenner each off eBay.

As for bedding, yes my girl is a bit mucky but I get through 3 bales of straw a week with rubber matting. So you need to at least double those costs imho.

It's nice to dream big, but honestly I would say start with a nice pony. Join your local pony club or riding club and just see where it takes you. You will be amazed at how much you have to learn, but at the end of the day it's about enjoying it.


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## TarrSteps (18 August 2013)

And I'll say again, if your parents CAN'T get you a pony (I'm amazed that so many people have agreed it's simply a case of wanting. . .) then that's not the end of world either. 

Think outside of the box! I rode for a Connemara breeder when I was your age, first helping out in return for riding one of her older ponies and eventually progressing to having a 3 yr old to start. I was a working student after school and weekends. I groomed for people, learned how to plait to earn money at horse shows, taught (which makes me shudder now!). I've been given tremendous opportunities from lovely people and probably done more in my riding than many people with their own horse. 

I'm not trying to 'piss on your parade' I'm just giving the other side. By all means ask. Parents fund all sorts of things for their kids. But if it happens  all you'll be, lucky. Not more deserving, or more successful, or better in any way. Do the best with what you get and people will see.


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## Patterdale (18 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			I was just thinking. There are plenty o BE100s out there with fences that don't even exceed 90cm. After this season there are 4-5 months of no eventing. Is that not enough time to get myself and the pony jumping 1.20 courses and novice/intermediate xc fences?
(Really sorry if that sounds as I I'm ignoring all the advice and still trying to get my dream. Just wandering if It was possible)
		
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No it's not. Sorry. 
You would need to be training every night (and I noticed you haven't included training costs), a very dedicated family who will take you to lessons/competing weekly, and already have lots of experience to start with. 



Baggybreeches said:



			Also I think the one big problem in your plan is that juniors needed to be assessed and accredited by BE before they actually compete
		
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This is true at your age OP. 

Also, am I the only one who thinks that £6k for a PT pony is wildly unrealistic?? You'd be looking at £16k more like, at the very least. 

It's just all really unrealistic. Sorry. You're setting yourself up to fail. You won't be written off from eventing or a career in horses if you don't do pony trials, don't worry about that. 
But I think you need to be a little more realistic for now


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## FfionWinnie (18 August 2013)

SusieT said:



			Some are doing it on very small salaries-smaller than you'd think! There's reality and *no ones parents would ever pay for a pony, I never got a pony so neither should anyone else* attitudes and I'm providing a dose of the other, it's up to the parents to decide if it's realistic-not us!
		
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Yes, but the OP has had the letter on her computer for months presumably because she knows the answer will be no. I asked my parents (both professionals) for a pony many times but they didn't feel they could commit to owning one because they themselves knew nothing about horses. 

Its all very well saying single mothers do it, indeed, I am a single mother and if I needed to find 6 grand for a pony for my daughter I would, (although I have gone the buy a cheap one and school it up for her route) but I know about horses which makes a massive difference. 

Folk who are being negative are only trying to protect the op from massive disappointment.


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## hnmisty (18 August 2013)

OP, there is a world of difference between jumping 90cm courses and a one off 1.10m and going round a whole course of 1.20m. Competing at a show at 1.20 in front of a load of people is a different kettle of fish to jumping it at home with your instructor there for help.

If I were you, I'd be a bit more realistic. Ask for a typical pony club type pony. Go to some shows and enter the 85cm. If that goes well, go for the 90. If that goes well then go higher. Go out and have fun without the pressure.

I think by convincing yourself this is possible (against the advice of a lot of people who are bloody impressively experienced on here) then you are setting yourself up for heartache when it doesn't work out.


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## Irishdan (18 August 2013)

Just wanted to say OP, I think your amazing!  Follow your dreams.  If you were my daughter I would be doing everything I could to help


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## oldie48 (18 August 2013)

My final word too. You can compete in PTs up to the year that you are 16, so your birthday is quite important, the final trials are in the summer, if you are 16 later in the year, then you are too old to compete the following year, therefore a birthday early in the year would be helpful for someone like you. Also your height and weight are very important as the XC tracks are BIG and the time is tight. I couldn't help noticing that most of the successful PT riders competing at the same time as my daughter were small and lightweight. My daughter was a december birthday and neither small nor light but frankly the quality of the successful ponies and the riding ability of the kids who did really well was awsome and several went on to represent the country at Junior and senior levels. If you can, go to either the PC champs or the final PT and walk the course and imagine jumping ot on a 14.2. I didn't sleep the night before I felt so sick and anxious!!


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## DabDab (18 August 2013)

FfionWinnie said:



			Yes, but the OP has had the letter on her computer for months presumably because she knows the answer will be no. I asked my parents (both professionals) for a pony many times but they didn't feel they could commit to owning one because they themselves knew nothing about horses. 

Its all very well saying single mothers do it, indeed, I am a single mother and if I needed to find 6 grand for a pony for my daughter I would, (although I have gone the buy a cheap one and school it up for her route) but I know about horses which makes a massive difference. 

Folk who are being negative are only trying to protect the op from massive disappointment.
		
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Yes absolutely - my parents also said no because their attitude was that if I wanted a horse I would have to go out and put my own blood, sweat and tears into earning the money to pay for it. At 14 I acquired a free horse and I then worked 25 hours a week around school to earn its keep at a local yard and a lesson once a week for me. There are many reasons other than money that a parent may say no to this kind of proposition, and it doesn't mean they don't love their child, or that the child won't grow up to be a great rider. It's important that the op realises that this is not the end of the world.


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## Caol Ila (18 August 2013)

When I was about the same age as the OP, we had to do a big independent research project for school.  Being totally desperate for a horse of my own, I did my independent research project on the costs of horse ownership in order to prove to my completely non-horsey parents that I was committed enough for a horse.  I am sure I had big competitive dreams at the time as well, and imagined owning an amazing horse who would fulfill them.  They did in fact buy me a horse that year, a 10-year old 15HH quarter horse who wasn't the horse I was going to go out and win lots of stuff on, but who was a very appropriate first horse for a kid (I  doubt my project made them go from nay to yay -- they were, in fairness, probably thinking of doing it anyway). The learning curve was huge, as I quickly discovered there is a world of difference between riding school horses in lessons and occasionally sitting on a privately owned one and then owning your own horse.  I learned how little I actually knew, even though I did loads of research on horses, had been taking lessons twice per week, and read every horsey book imaginable.  Then I had this horse and realized that in spite of all that, I didn't have a clue and I had to get one quickly.  That horse wasn't remotely the fanciest thing in the barn, but she was worth a million bucks because she taught me a ton!  I don't think any relatively inexperienced first time owner is in the best position to maintain and bring on a super hot competition horse.  Most people, kids and adults, need something basically sane and sound that won't kill them when they make mistakes.  Because everyone will. 

As others have said, if OP lowers her ambitions a wee bit and focuses on getting an appropriate horse to get mileage at low level events with, that will sound a lot more feasable to her parents.


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## GlamourDol (18 August 2013)

JulesRules said:



			Have you thought about trailer insurance? Approx £100 for the year. Also Equine recovery - an extra £45 to £65 a year. Servicing for the trailer annually?  Call it £150. Some livery yards charge storage for a trailer or do you intend to store at home?   I assume your parents already have a suitable tow vehicle as I don't remember seeing those costs but what about the extra fuel? 

.
		
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A trailer? OP if you are wanting to do teams, it will mean a lot of time staying away and a lot of UK/international travel.
It isn't just a case of hitching a trailer to the back of the family car. You will need a lorry.
If you want to PM me, by all means do, I missed ponies but did Juniors, and maybe I can give you some realistic information on just how difficult and time consuming it is. 

I do think though, give them the letter, what is the worst thing they can say?


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## Jo_x (18 August 2013)

I went to the pony europeans a couple of years ago (spectating not riding, but we camped out in my friends lorry in the lorry park with all the competitors)... some of the foreigners turned up in trailers. Yes a lorry is easier, but its perfectly possible to stay in nearby B&Bs. I believe for the pony europeans this year the team ponies were all trucked out in one lorry and the riders flew out separately.


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## hnmisty (18 August 2013)

Jo_x said:



			Yes a lorry is easier, but its perfectly possible to stay in nearby B&Bs.
		
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OP needs to add b&b costs to her list then! (Not digging, but yet another cost that either hasn't been considered thoroughly, or considered at all).


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## GlamourDol (18 August 2013)

Jo_x said:



			I went to the pony europeans a couple of years ago (spectating not riding, but we camped out in my friends lorry in the lorry park with all the competitors)... some of the foreigners turned up in trailers. Yes a lorry is easier, but its perfectly possible to stay in nearby B&Bs. I believe for the pony europeans this year the team ponies were all trucked out in one lorry and the riders flew out separately.
		
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Yes for the europeans they do all go together. But you will be expected to compete internationally, and I don't think you can assume someone else will be willing to put your pony on their lorry. Again, the added expense of B&B's both here and abroad need to be added.


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## sez1 (18 August 2013)

hnmisty said:



			OP needs to add b&b costs to her list then! (Not digging, but yet another cost that either hasn't been considered thoroughly, or considered at all).
		
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There will be a maximum of 6 events I stay away at whilst with this pony. Brand hall, weston park and PC championships. I know that girls at my pony club stay over in each others lorrys whilst at the championships so that's fine.  Brand hall an weston park I might not even be qualified/ selected to go. 
One minute people are telling me my aims are too big and won't get there. The next people are saying I have to have all these things when actually you can get by easily without


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## TarrSteps (18 August 2013)

Different people. 

I just think some people are making the point that, despite your very good research this is almost certainly going to cost more and be more complicated than you think. 

I have to say too, in my boring way, that you are assuming a lot of people are going to help you out. They might but do you not think it's somewhat presumptuous - even rude - to assume other people are going to put you up, drive you around etc?


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## DollyPentreath (18 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			One minute people are telling me my aims are too big and won't get there. The next people are saying I have to have all these things when actually you can get by easily without
		
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Everyone has different opinions OP. But people wouldn't post unless they intended to help. 

If this is really what you want to do then I can't stress the importance of some work experience on a professional event yard (yes, some will take you on even at 13). Without someone experienced to guide you, you will be lost. 

I wrote a letter like yours to my parents at your age. But I know if I presented my parents with a total like yours at 13 they would've freaked out. Instead I budgeted a cheap pony and cheap DIY. All I wanted was a pony, for the love of ponies. Then over the years I worked my way along competitively. About 10 years later I was at Int BE. Your goals are not impossible, just unlikely. But the main question for me is; do you want a pony for the love of it (riding, horses etc) or for the kudos of competing in PTs? 

Whatever you do please, please contact a pro rider so you can see what's involved behind the scenes. Most riders have websites and contact details online, why don't you go to your parents with your letter and ask if you could do some work exp on a yard in the hols?


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## GlamourDol (18 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			There will be a maximum of 6 events I stay away at whilst with this pony. Brand hall, weston park and PC championships. I know that girls at my pony club stay over in each others lorrys whilst at the championships so that's fine.  Brand hall an weston park I might not even be qualified/ selected to go.
		
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Were you not intending to do pony teams? You'll be at stay away shows a hell of a lot more than six times. I am certainly not telling you your aims are too big, just giving you a snippet of what i've experienced.


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## GlamourDol (18 August 2013)

DollyPentreath said:



			Whatever you do please, please contact a pro rider so you can see what's involved behind the scenes. Most riders have websites and contact details online, why don't you go to your parents with your letter and ask if you could do some work exp on a yard in the hols?
		
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Good point! Also, as dressage is such a big part of it, why not go and have a lesson on a school master. You'll at least get some insight into the difference between a RS pony and something capable of a decent should in and half pass.


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## The Fuzzy Furry (18 August 2013)

OP, I've read much on here & you seem very keen & clear with what you want 

I'm an old fogey now, but I was also once a girl with dreams...... the eldest of 4 & the only girl.
My mother sold her flute to buy my 1st pony, who was kept on a shoestring in a DIY yard with over 40 others on site.
I progressed & managed to pass my PC tests (borrowing bigger one for my B test) - getting into the PC teams for PPC, tho sadly my pony was not adept enough for the fence sizes for team eventing or SJ....Pony was also shared with my brothers.
(My mother also had dreams of competing, she was head girl of one of the top showing yards of yester-year and then brought us lot up & looked after our pony which we all shared)

Fast forwards a good few years & my daughter was a lucky one, in that she had a pony before she could walk.
Over the years she had a selection of good/bad/indifferent/talented and also wicked ponies. 
Yes, she got into the PC teams. HOWEVER in 3 years she did get in, the TEAM were not quite good enough to qualify for W/Park. We live in one of the most competitive areas (at that time) in the UK and despite lots of training, hiccups happened on the day for qualifying. Her best achievements instead (on paper) were riding at HOYS & Olympia several times.
I know I'm her mother, but she was also a very talented young lady.
However, if I had been presented with a plan to buy a mid-range PC pony, then I'd have told her what to do with herself
All ours were brought in at bottom end at mostly under 1k & then made from scratch ourselves. Despite competing well, daughter always had something different to cope with along the way.

I only mention the above, as you cannot plan for everything to be perfect in life & however strong your dreams are, you need to be able to work with what you have or can get - & keep.

Perhaps it may be wise to plan for something as a 'rescue plan' to show to your parents, this at least giving you the possible chance to share a pony or to perhaps loan?

Dreams are one thing but reality is something else. (types one who once wrote down exactly how she would spend her future lottery winnings, in most intricate details :biggrin3: )


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## kirstyhen (18 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			One minute people are telling me my aims are too big and won't get there. The next people are saying I have to have all these things when actually you can get by easily without
		
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What is actually being said is that you have this huge dream and you sound very matter of fact that its going to happen, when in reality is bloody hard work and you don't just buy a pony and get onto PT teams the next season.
The other argument is that if you somehow achieve it, you are actually under budgeting for it, so that 30K a year is going to run on and on.

Massive kudos for planning it all out and its definitely the way to go, but you are starting somewhere in the middle when you need to start at the beginning.

I teach a LOT of 13 year old girls, some a good little riders, we have some tricky ponies and they have a lot of experience as we have our own XC course and hold show jumping once a week. Unless one of them found themselves some very intensive ( expensive!) training over the winter, no way would they be ready to compete in PTs. 
What several of them have done is get a nice pony, been very successful at PC and local shows and now thinking about affiliated whatever. 
That's where you need to start, then by all means carry on chasing your big dream!


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## Holding (18 August 2013)

With all due respect OP - if an inexperienced 13 year old could school a pony for PT teams in a season, then why would they be changing hands for such immense amounts of money?

I was exactly the same as you when I was your age (I desperately wanted to be a famous showjumper like Rupert Campbell-Black, because I didn't know the names of any real life showjumpers) and I had to make do with working at riding schools, sharing and loaning, and eventually working and training at a proper yard - I didn't buy my first horse until I was 24. By which point the idea of jumping competitively was fairly horrifying. I had a selection of difficult/elderly/downright insane horses on loan, none of which I ever competed, and all of which I adored because just riding anything was the most wonderful thing in the world. If you really want a horse, my advice would be - manage your expectations, and have a look for a decent schoolmaster for loan. Learn all you can, have as many lessons as you can, and don't forget that just having a horse to ride at all is amazing, regardless of what level your friends are competing about. And by the time you're my age, you might well be into a completely discipline.


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## OliveBuffy1129 (18 August 2013)

OP, I admire you for setting your aims high but I can say from experience that it isn't that easy to work your way up to the top PT in a season or 2. I myself was bought a decent pony with aims to BE, here I am 2 months later and I havent even competed her and she was a fair amount of money. There are lots more costs involved in having a pony and competing. I have aimed to event all my life, I have been riding since I was 2 and have been through 3 or 4 ponies and still I havent found the right pony to take me to the top. Maybe just aim to do Pony Club teams and Unaff competitions before aiming yourself at affiliated if you havent got the experience competing? x


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## superpony (18 August 2013)

I admire your drive and determination. I would say take any and every opportunity you are given.. riding horses for people, work experience at yards and just watching people ride/lessons in the flesh and on youtube etc. Its amazing the amount you can learn from watching others.

I got a pony at your age, my parents were always determined I wouldn't have one. However I got one on part loan and after a few months he was put up for sale so my lovely parents very kindly bought him. (Here is a perfect example of an opportunity that can lead to something else!) He was 5 at the time and he is quite a sporty type.. as others have said I didn't realise how little I knew until I got him but we learnt together and ten years later despite various injuries etc he has taken me to BD competitions including various Championships. 

So I would say by all mean give your parents the letter but also learn, learn, learn and take every chance you get to do anything related with eventing/horses as you never know where it can lead and a lot of it is also about networking.. so the more people you know the better chance you have of getting opportunities. Good luck.


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## hnmisty (18 August 2013)

kirstyhen said:



			What is actually being said is that you have this huge dream and you sound very matter of fact that its going to happen, when in reality is bloody hard work and you don't just buy a pony and get onto PT teams the next season.
The other argument is that if you somehow achieve it, you are actually under budgeting for it, so that 30K a year is going to run on and on.
		
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Yes. OP doesn't want to hear that her plan isn't very feasible (can't say I blame her too much, but you'd think the advice might start to sink in). So if she's so determined against wise counsel that she's going to make it to the top, then she needs to realise that she's under budgeted quite considerably and if her parents somehow do actually agree to this plan (unlikely), they are going to find themselves either having to sell the pony or remortgage their house to fund it all. Or OP will simply be told "you can't enter any more competitions, we can't afford it".

Sorry to be massively patronising, but I don't think OP realises exactly how far her dad's earnings go. The amount she's talking about (with her underestimations) is stretching the budget. I didn't at her age. It's only now I'm "grown up" and earning myself that I realise why my parents never had as money lying around as I thought they should!


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## ester (18 August 2013)

I'm confused at how much is being actually spent on the pony - as it says 6k in the budget but in the insurance states value as significantly less than that at the start (and fwiw OP noone would use E&L to insure ) 

Am not sure you would get a potential (in 2 years) pony trials pony for 6k anyway... 

Regardless of the money (which also misses off diesel  ) I think you must not underestimate how much of a time commitment is going to required from your parents in order for you to get sufficient lessons and entries to be competitive.


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## LynH (18 August 2013)

OP have you had any conversations with your parents about having a pony? I think it's commendable that you have given so much thought into finances etc but I really don't understand why you havent just spoken to your parents about it at all. If your parents do agree to you having a pony then surely it makes sense to find this out sooner rather than later so you can use what is left of the school holidays to look and try out ponies irrespective of the type of pony you buy and how much your parents are willing to contribute. If you leave asking them much longer then I would suspect any parent would then say to wait until the next school holidays or even next summer. 
Are your parents difficult to talk to?


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## ahml100 (18 August 2013)

ahml100 said:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfgLjp-wX8g skip to 51 minutes or watch the whole thing it was really eye-opening! 

I was like you when I was 16 apart from I have had ponies since I was 7 but only really hunted, some rallies and the odd summer show, but when I moved onto horses at 16 I had these wild ideas that I would make the juniors win medals and have loads of fans. I also thought that I knew everything about a good horse and had natural raw talent (I had only done 3 ODES!). The truth is I did not! I got a horse that was not quite right, I could barely do dressage but thanks to hunting I did know how to kick for a fence! that was it though. I had a brilliant trainer who/ still does teach me but I still really botched up. I asked too much for my horse and myself and ended up ruining him for a year-it took me that long to build up his confidence again because I wanted to become the best when I had no foundations myself. I then spent 1.5 years doing 2'6-2'9 to build up my foundations (read the parable of the two builders) and because of that my horse grew in confidence and so did I. Sadly though I lost that horse in an accident and to this day I can not thank him enough for what he taught me. I now at the tender age of 19 have a wonderful and actually very talented 5 yr ISH who has got 'it' but I have learnt not to run before I can walk and am very much taking it very steady with UA80T so that his foundations will be ready for BE next season I have also realised whilst it is ok and brilliant to have dreams, remember, 'brick by brick'
		
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Right just realised that it missed of half the response! Have you thought of getting a really fun grassroots pony and try giving badminton grassroots a try? as that itself will be a huge achievement! by spending 3 years doing that would give you the most fantastic building blocks and would probably be a whole lot cheaper! Plus, a good GP saddle is really fine for all 3 disciplines. Then when you outgrown ponies and move onto horses you can be really competive at the ONU18 level and start the journey to trials (obviously if everything goes well). and a pony that goes consistently well at grassroots will be really wanted by other people! plus, when you are 16 have you thought about maybe taking up a working pupil position? hope my post is not to preachy! I just don't want you to make the same mistakes that I made!


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## walkingonsunshine (18 August 2013)

This thread is so interesting that its pulled me out of lurking!

Sez, I really feel for you. When you want something so much, for your plan to be criticised makes it all seem hopeless. Coming from the other end of the spectrum, I am horseless whilst at uni after having evented various cheap quirky youngsters through my teens, just getting to Novice Level, although injury got in the way. At the moment I'm competing even quirkier things, which whilst rewarding, is on someone else's terms which for a control freak like me is immeasurably frustrating! Your ambition is to be commended, but perhaps you need to rethink the strategy.

Its interesting that you seem focused on pony trials, rather than eventual senior success, although it may just be foremost in your mind. In many ways, rising to the top as an adult is far more achievable. Antoinette Mckweon is just one rider off the top of my head who started in a riding school, who has gone on to compete very well at 4* Level and even to be longlisted for an Olympics. If you want to succeed as an adult, either as a professional or an amateur, then the best foundation you can lay for yourself now is correct training. Make sure your riding school is one with ambitions beyond trotting round the school (perhaps pm someone) and through them join the Pony Club, and try to work up to the B Test. Not only will this help your own riding, it would make you very appealing to a professional rider as a working pupil, which will open you up to the chances of competing, as well as some useful contacts. Then when you are in the position of being able to independently fund your own horse, you will be in the strongest place possible.

Of course, you will then become good friends with the stock eventing phrase 'not a good day on paper!'
In all seriousness, in order to succeed with horses you must understand that no matter how good the rider is, how well they are prepared, horses are animals, and as such, are liable to throw spanners in the works. All part of the fun though!


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## elliebrewer98 (18 August 2013)

BWa said:



			My last thought on this thread and I've had a look through your others OP. You are so fixated with the PTs and eventing that it worries me that even if you did get a nice pony and wouldn't enjoy it until you reached your goal and heaven forbid you had issues to address along the way. 
I really feel you need you to set the goal posts a little lower to appreciate what you might get
		
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That's exactly what I thought! Sez, I'm 15 and basically had a similar beginning as you: I started riding at a riding school when I was 5 and was classed as one of the "talented" ones there as I was on par with others much older. When I was 10 I started riding and exercising a very naughty 11.3hh Welsh who looking back was probably quite dangerous to ride (none of mum's horsey friends could believe she let me ride him but my Mum*s one who gives a lot of freedom) because he had a massive buck! I rode him until I was 12 and I'll always be eternally gratefully to him because he's given me a really "sticky" seat and a knack for staying on naughty creatures.I was bought my first pony aged 13 with the intention of having a pony to have fun on, do local events, etc! It makes me laugh though how our expectations changed, before I got Lace, all I'd ever wanted was a pony to call me own but this year Lace has peaked at jumping 90cm courses and although Mum had ALWAYS said she would be my only pony we decided to move up a step abduction get a new pony with the aim of evening (BE) with it. So it's amazing how things and goals can change, so please bear that in mind, expectations can always change. I never ever believed I'd have my own pony but here I am with two wonderful girls and opportunities I never would have thought I would have!

Remember the whole point of doing what you love is because you enjoy it, don't become blinded by probably unrealistic goals! Ponies are meant to be fun, 'a pony is a child's dream but a horse is an adult's treasure', just enjoy having the freedom of having your own pony. We're all so lucky to have such wondrous companions, treasure and enjoy them!!xx


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## Jnhuk (18 August 2013)

I was trying to figure out how much experience you had OP so I looked at some of your other threads after I felt bad for trying to give you a sense of reality.

I see that you have been using HHO as research which is fair enough but can I ask you regarding this thread?

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?611912-Is-it-wrong-!

You have a daughter?! Really??!!! At least you came clean in the end.

I don't believe anything you post anymore regarding your experience/age or indeed your home situation. 

You have been given sensible advice on the above thread by respected HHOers and I am very disappointed to find out that you are disingenious.


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## Jo_x (18 August 2013)

Jnhuk, and if you'd read the entirety of that thread, or even all of this one, you'd see that the OP has apologised for that several times over.


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## Jnhuk (19 August 2013)

Jo_x said:



			Jnhuk, and if you'd read the entirety of that thread, or even all of this one, you'd see that the OP has apologised for that several times over.
		
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Fair point and apologies that I haven't read the threads in their entirely, Jo! 

I really am not that interested in doing so now as feel wasted enough of my time on here reading about this. I had tried to help her by putting my view across which I feel is common sense. I now realise that the OP has been given decent advice on both threads from experienced competitive HHO eventers which she is not interested in taking onboard as it shatters her dream. 

If she cannot take advice and guidance from people who have been there and done it, surely it is going to be a very hard and rocky road full of disappointments for her? They are only trying to save her grief with the benefit of their experience


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## amage (19 August 2013)

OP you really need to start taking some of the advice on this thread and your other threads on board. You specifically stated in your op that you were no longer so uptight about doing pony team trials etc yet you seem to be obsessed with it. Your financial list while well prepared is a drop in the ocean of what you need to budget for what you are proposing. You have ZERO budgeted for transport and accommodation & food/sundries at events. It is completely and utterly ignorant to assume you will be given lifts etc by friends with no contribution. What you are proposing is actually downright dangerous....to go from basically nothing to pony team trial level within 2 years would be difficult if you had the ride on Noble Springbok or Ice Cool Bailey never mind on a pony that has never done it before either. You seem to have no grasp of the level of experience needed for this level. You're coming to a big solid log with a drop on landing, you can see ten strides away you're too far off...what do you do? You're in the show jumping and there is a related distance oxer then quiet 6strides or open 5 strides to a combination...what do you do? You're warming up for dressage, pony is sharp and tense and you have 15 minutes to get it softened up and test ready...what do you do? 

Aside from the technical aspects the wrong decision in any of these scenarios could not just result in your pony getting hurt but also you getting hurt...particularly xc. You have to factor in the technical aspects of these courses as well. 

The day to day management of the animal is crucial...and there is no such thing as give it 2 days and see what happens. If there is something a wee bit amiss you treat it aggressively (and maybe expensively) and you get it sorted. And ultimately at the end of the day are you a horseman/horsewoman at the end of it....not necessarily!! You are 13....if you apply some logic you are far better to ask your parents for this chance at a first pony as a learning experience....pony trials are not the be all and end all....they are a stepping stone! You have 8 years until you age out of young riders, 5 years until you age out of juniors...while both of these are still extremely expensive systems to get involved in....they are far more realistic proposals than ponies right now! Be a sponge....get yourself into a good yard as a working pupil, look for a good rider solid in all three phases, perhaps someone with good history in getting horses back from injury and learn. The more solid an education you get now in all aspects of managing a competition horse the better you will be in the future. And finally just ask your parents, they are not ogres, they love and support you but having so much hope hinging on something like team trials is not healthy or beneficial to you. Everybody has to start somewhere and you can still be friends with those at that level. If they are not your friends because you are not at that level they are probably not the right type of friends to be seeking anyway...


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

Thanks for all the advice. I do tea them all and take them in I'm just really defensive when it comes to this because I really want it so bad. Thanks to the suggestion about badminton grassroots that's something I would really love to do and I had also forgotten about weston park be100u18 series now so could try and qualify for that next year too. 
I think I will change my letter to talk about the grassroots side of things then on my last year of ponies do Goring heaths PON and it would be really good for me to get an national/international event under my belt too so maybe do weston park ccnp** in 2015. But I will see how it all goes. That will reduce costs a lot too. Hopefully this way costs will be able to go to sub 24k maybe? I wil redo quotes on insurance as before I got quotes on tack cover as well as rider cover, £5k vets fees and £1m public liability. 
I've done my research on E and L so won't be asking for insurance with them. Are there any really good insurance companies? Petplan equine seems quite good as well. 
So thanks for all tr advice I have been taking it in and I hope I've made a good decision


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## noodle_ (19 August 2013)

i do actually want to bash my head against a wall.....


we all have dreams and i think like i said before - just aim for getting the pony first.....and then figure the rest out later.



i know your 13.....but reality is your being very unrealistic....


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## FfionWinnie (19 August 2013)

noodle_ said:



			i do actually want to bash my head against a wall.....


we all have dreams and i think like i said before - just aim for getting the pony first.....and then figure the rest out later.



i know your 13.....but reality is your being very unrealistic....
		
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Yep I agree and I'm starting to wonder if we are being played here.


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## noodle_ (19 August 2013)

FfionWinnie said:



			Yep I agree and I'm starting to wonder if we are being played here.
		
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i think we are....!!!

i admit i had dreams from the age of 5 of "pony" and once when i was 17 had a lovely tb i dreamed of doing a n intro (as it were then) event......id never done xc

i still want to do that intro event - but on my now pony - within the next 5 years....!!! ive done xc, dressage and show jumping - - thats realistic.... which if the OP isnt taking the pee should be considering being more realistic..... 

but mabey i should aim for badminton in 2 years??? 

i need to leave the thread - its bugging me now


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## meardsall_millie (19 August 2013)

It amuses me that so many people are getting so wound up by this thread. Yes, the OP's hopes and dreams are probably unrealistic but which horse-mad teenager didn't dream that the GB Team Trainer would spot them jumping some rickety fences and call them up for the Olympics? I know I certainly did (still do if I'm honest  ). 

The OP is simply putting her hopes and dreams out there for the world to see when the rest of us dreamed them in private. Yes of course a healthy dose of realism is required but she'll probably get that from her parents along the way, as the rest of us did. 

For goodness sake, back off a bit and let her have the normal teenage dreams!

Good luck OP, I sincerely hope it all works out well for you.


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

meardsall_millie said:



			It amuses me that so many people are getting so wound up by this thread. Yes, the OP's hopes and dreams are probably unrealistic but which horse-mad teenager didn't dream that the GB Team Trainer would spot them jumping some rickety fences and call them up for the Olympics? I know I certainly did (still do if I'm honest  ). 

The OP is simply putting her hopes and dreams out there for the world to see when the rest of us dreamed them in private. Yes of course a healthy dose of realism is required but she'll probably get that from her parents along the way, as the rest of us did. 

For goodness sake, back off a bit and let her have the normal teenage dreams!

Good luck OP, I sincerely hope it all works out well for you.
		
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Thanks. I really do want a pony and I don't know what's wrong with aiming for badminton grassroots


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## jrp204 (19 August 2013)

Grassroots is a good aim, ultimately you have to remember it is supposed to fun. I doubt there is a 13yr old who doesn't share your ambitions but the unfortunate thing is only a very few will get to the top, they are not always the ones with money or everything handed to them on a plate either, so who knows you may be one of the few but I think you have to extend your timescale for achieving your aims. Horses/ponies are not machines and things do go wrong. My daughter started competing at 10, has produced 2 difficult youngsters to competing at Affiliated level, but due to their temperments they haven't achieved what she wanted, to go through the levels at BE, we bought a 6 yr old last year, much less complicated with the aim to get moving at BE. She slipped off a step 2 weeks after we bought her and after virtually a year of rehab she has been retired as a broodmare. So, now we have no horse, no funds to replace her either. These things happen and it won't matter if you buy a 2k pony or a 20k one. 
Hopefully your parents will help you to get on the ladder but you also have to be prepared to compromise. I wouldn't like to work out how much we have spent over the years on competitions, equipment etc and we have our own land so don't have to pay livery. Competitions are getting very expensive, you will not just do BE, most people will also be doing dressage, BS and Pony Club on top of BE and £50 doesn't go far time you pay for entry fees etc let alone the fuel. I think many horsey people are quite forgetful about how much they actually spend, me included. 
If you get your pony, join the PC, have fun and the rest will happen when the time is right.


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## Lyle (19 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			Thanks. I really do want a pony and I don't know what's wrong with aiming for badminton grassroots
		
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Sez, the general gist of the advice being given to you, is that the dreams aren't unattainable, but they are quite possibly impossible with the time frame you have put on them.

I've read this thread with interest, you are obviously intelligent and incredibly articulate, but being only 13 means there is a deal of naivety involved. 

I was lucky enough to get a dream horse at 14, with weekly lessons and training 6 days a week, I reached CCI2** in 4 years. This isn't a common scenario though! At that age, I was top level PC dressage and had jumped successfully in the junior SJ scene. Whilst I will admit, I'm not a slouch in the saddle and I worked myself ragged training, at the end of the day I reached those goals because that horse was 1 in million. My parents paid a large sum for this horse as an experienced showjumper that had never set foot in the eventing scene. I NEVER asked for this horse, he was their idea and they CHOSE to spend the money. It was a gamble! After placing in my first CCI2** event, I had 3*** and then a potential 4* run in my sites. 4 weeks later, that horse received a career ending injury whilst training. 4 years on, that boy is a field ornament, with at least another 10-15 years of burning a hole in my hip pocket! He deserves it, but I've chosen to support his retirement because I owe him so much. My parents LOVED the ride those 4 years were, from PC to high level. They chose to support me, and repaid them the best I could, I never asked them for it, I just showed my appreciation by working hard! I never partied, didn't ask for clothes, Christmas presents were entry fees or lessons. I didn't have the latest gadgets or phones. It was a hard life, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Personally I DO think your parents should support your hobby, purchase you a pony and take you to a few lower level events, rallies and lessons. However, I think it's a little unfair to ask your parents to support you so you can step out into the top automatically. It's a world they know nothing about, and I appreciate you are trying to achieve it on a shoestring. However, even when taking the cheaper options for everything, it still adds up to exorbitant amounts of money! 

Also, even with my experience and the lessons I've had, I'm struggling to produce an incredibly talented young horse up to EvA1.05 eventing! To take something from greenish, inexperienced to intermediate in 4-5months is not an attainable goal for an inexperienced rider. 

Personally I wouldn't ask for what you are asking for. Your parents are already reluctant, that letter will just add strength to all the arguments against getting you a pony. Go and ask for a nice, safe PC level horse, find a decent livery, be happy with one second hand saddle, and actually get some real life competition experience.

Good luck


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## TarrSteps (19 August 2013)

I think it's an interesting thread,  regardless of what the OP gets out of it.  

I guess I'm just fascinated how many people consider a pony - of any kind! - and parental support a right not a privilege.


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## Baggybreeches (19 August 2013)

TarrSteps said:



			I guess I'm just fascinated how many people consider a pony - of any kind! - and parental support a right not a privilege.
		
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There you go, being all controversial


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## Holidays_are_coming (19 August 2013)

I've read this thread with interest, I begged my parents for a pony I nearly got one at 10 but they decided that it wasn't the life they wanted so I had to wait till I was 15 and I had one on loan for 6 months I had to cycle to see him and had no facilities,  I was told that the first time I didn't go twice a day he went back, well my mum thought id last a week but 6 months later she brought him for me he wasn't particularly suitable but I had no support. I never did pony club and as soon as I could I worked to contribute to his costs. I think of myself as very lucky as I did finally get a horse and I loved every minute of it I think my mum was pleased as it kept me out of trouble. 

We don't always get everything we want and horse's arnt easy but if you show how much you want it and that you are willing to do everything your parents might support you.


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## Caol Ila (19 August 2013)

TarrSteps said:



			I think it's an interesting thread,  regardless of what the OP gets out of it.  

I guess I'm just fascinated how many people consider a pony - of any kind! - and parental support a right not a privilege.
		
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I am enjoying reading about everyone's experience.  If the OP does indeed convince her parents to buy her a pony, I am sure the reality of it will soon hit her.  A few months after I got my first horse at age 13, she went lame and a good bit of that first year I had her was spent getting her sound again.  Not the "dream" any kid has, but certainly the reality of horse ownership.  

I don't read anyone's posts as saying or implying that parental support for horsey hobbies is a right.  Rather, if one's parents are even vaguely considering buying their kid a horse, a more realistic, down-to-earth scenario will be more helpful than fantasies about upper level eventing in two years.


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## Cheiro1 (19 August 2013)

I am another banging my head against the wall a bit!

OP riding a "real" horse is COMPLETELY different to riding at riding schools, and being a "talented" rider at a RS does not automatically mean you will make it to the top.

There is nothing wrong with aiming for "grassroots" but aiming to get from a RS to BE100 in a few months is unrealisitic, as is aiming to then get to 2* from BE100 in 2 years, even assuming the pony was sound for all of it! You don't seem to even grasp the concept that it takes a good few months to get to know a new horse/pony, you won't be able to just hop on on day 1 and have the perfect partnership.

I am sorry to "spoil your fun" but you really need to take a step back and be a bit realistic. Not least because you are asking your parents to set aside what would probably be all the cash your dad takes home in a whole year, before he pays ANYTHING.

Aim to get yourself a good PC pony and spend a year or 2 doing low level competition. You will build the foundations and learn the things that can then lead you to progress up the levels later on. It does NOT matter how much you have read, how much you think you know, owning your own pony is a completely different ball game in every respect.

It takes years to achieve top level success, lots of money, and lots and LOTS of hard work. It isn't achieved on a pony you see 3 times a week and with one lesson every other week. Sorry!


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## hnmisty (19 August 2013)

noodle_ said:



			i do actually want to bash my head against a wall.....
		
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Mind if I come join you? 

I think something is being lost in translation in this thread...

Good luck in getting from riding school ponies to 2* in two years, but forgive me if I don't hold me breath.


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## ArcticFox (19 August 2013)

This is an interesting thread. 

I have read through your letter and most of the replies.  Not commenting on anyone else i just wanted to give you my opinion. 

 Most young children ask their parents for a pony don't they? You have however shown your parents that this is not just a passing phase by doing some research, which is very good for a 13yo girl. However please don't be upset if your parents say 'no'.  I'm pretty sure if your parents were millionaires you would have a yard with 10 ponies in it and 5 grooms if that is what you wished for as all parents want their children to be happy.  

Unfortunately as you are aware ponies are extremely expensive and I would say that it is likely your parents will say no (i think you know they will say no too if you have genuinely had this letter on your computer for months waiting for the right time). It has been mentioned that your Dads wages are £50,000 per annum.  less tax this is not a huge amount for a family (i don't know if you have any siblings) to pay for a mortgage, the usual bills and feed a family as well as be able to go on holiday and poss fund any riding school lessons or other out of school activites you already have (do you play music?  other sports etc?) 

For me I was very lucky, I grew up with horses as my family are very horse orientated and I count myself very lucky that I have had that upbringing.  We did also compete regularly and produced ponies for top level for people to buy.  

I would say that you are young enough to ask your parents for a pony and see what they say.  But I would just wait on your ambition for eventing and teams and go with the fun plan that if you were lucky enough to get a pony, and join pony club, you might be able to compete in pony club teams etc.  You never know that when you have the pony, perhaps your parents will end up loving them as much as you do and they may want you to go on an event.  Until then though I would find out if there was the possibility of you getting a pony. 

What about asking the local yard (where the pony would live) if you can have a saturday job to help fund the pony's livery?  this would show your parents how keen you were to help pay for him/her.  

I think to be from riding school to a decent level in two years will not only cost what you have researched but you would need to practically have a lesson a week, and be competing every weekend (at a cost of around £100 a weekend) which would honestly mean having to own another 2 ponies to allow you to do this.  

A really good aim is to get a pony, join the pony club, go to their training camps, shows etc and see what the future holds.  Find out where the nearest pony club is to you - you might find they also hold training/shows at a local yard - if so, aim to keep your pony on livery there as you won't have travel costs to attend shows.  

I'm not sure if that is helpful, or even adds to this thread but you must let us know what happens.


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## DabDab (19 August 2013)

TarrSteps said:



			I think it's an interesting thread,  regardless of what the OP gets out of it.  

I guess I'm just fascinated how many people consider a pony - of any kind! - and parental support a right not a privilege.
		
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Me too - I felt incredibly privileged when I was young because I had a horse, and although my parents never put a penny or any time into into it, they were incredibly supportive by letting me out of doing housework, not insisting on checking my schoolwork and allowing me to be out of the house all the time. Most of my friends at school would never have been allowed so much freedom. And for that I was then, and am still now, incredibly grateful to them.


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## Zero00000 (19 August 2013)

Concentrate on getting a little fun pony to get more experience, get to 15/16 get a boyfriend either make or break your career (not saying all are like that, but 'ya know)


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## madlady (19 August 2013)

Just another thought Sez which might help to convince your parents that you really are serious - why don't you look out for someone wanting help with a pony?

Riding on your own, out of a riding school environment, is a lot different to what you have been doing so far, it will give you a very good idea of exactly what is involved, will demonstrate to your parents that your commitment is real and not just 'dreams' and will also teach you a lot - both riding and care wise.

It may also make you re-think what you can/want to achieve and by when - you have your whole life ahead of you and while dreams are wonderful things there is nothing saying you have to achieve all this before you are 16.


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## Jenni_ (19 August 2013)

Your letter is well written, but your attitude to money leaves a lot to be desired.

Just because your mum and dad make a lot of money, they should fund YOUR dream? What about their dreams? Do you not think after all their years of hard work they should be entitled to enjoy their money. I understand some parents are able and willing to do this but by the sounds of it your parents aren't. You seem to think because your dad went mad once and bought a few iphones, ipads, and some bracelets that he could afford to fund PT's - in reality probably a lot of people could afford to splash out the same way once in a while. But could they sustain that amount of expenditure on a monthly bases? Probably not. What you're quoting a year to keep a competing pony is what some people would thank their lucky stars to earn salary wise for a year!

At your age all I wanted to do was event. My single mum could barely afford a riding lesson a month for me never mind a pony. She worked 3 jobs to keep our house going and I had to accept that even though all my friends parents could afford it, we just couldn't. So I worked for rides at a riding school, rode peoples horses for them, and then from 14 worked every weekend- sometimes 7.30-3 then 6-12 split shifts, just to be able to afford my own (loan) horse. Mum helped as by this point she had a much better job, but she instilled on me that work ethic.

I went to college, came home, was a Working Pupil for a while, then decided that I just wasn't going to financially be able to do it. I got a 'proper' job (well, jobs, I have 3 now too) and kept on riding for other people /part loaning/ sharing. I now enjoy pottering about and my biggest goal these days is just to event for fun - even if its BE80T! I could probably afford to buy a horse of my own now but I am very lucky to have the ride on a friends horse now and I can focus my money on lessons etc. I may not be a world beater now but I worked for what I do have /have done and its a big sense of achievement. 

Sorry for the seemingly annoyed rabble, what I guess I'm trying to say is if you were REALLY serious- you'd be out working for it yourself even at your tender age even if it was a start and helped prove to your parents that you were serious.


And a final thought- if I was your parents and I found out you'd been discussing my salary on an internet forum, I'd be hella mad. Thats their business, not really yours or anybody elses.


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## TarrSteps (19 August 2013)

I think it's interesting that at least 3 (that I know of) of the people on this thread who got little parental support do or have work as professionals! That should be heartening, OP! For Ponies through to YR I think significant support - time, money, knowledge - is essential for success. Even doing it 'on the cheap' is a very relative term. But not far beyond that you start to see some people succeeding professionally without that family support. Those years of riding anything, learning to get along with clients, seeing the ins and outs of the horse business up close, and becoming independent can be a benefit in the long run.


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

Jenni_ said:



			And a final thought- if I was your parents and I found out you'd been discussing my salary on an internet forum, I'd be hella mad. Thats their business, not really yours or anybody elses.
		
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I merely stated it because I felt it was important. Recently my father had a big sum of money put into the bank because of a supply job he did. I don't know how much. 
I only mentioned it because I thought it would help the situation on here


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## Morgan123 (19 August 2013)

Hello! This is an interesting thread! have you spoken to them about getting a pony before??

I remember doing the same thing as you at 13, though not half so well thought out or researched! Unfortunately it didn't work but someone DID ask me to ride their brilliant competition pony anyway which was free ;-). So there are plenty of options out there.

You have made quite a few comments about your riding and that many others have said you're v knowledgeable and taletned which is excellent. What I would do in your position is to try and use that - either to ride other people's horses (there are a SURPRISING amount of decent horses around for share) or else start off by asking your parents for a much cheaper sort of horse and then seeing if you can bring it on a bit. Yes, it will take longer than getting to the PTs in two years, but you'l learn a lot on the way and also if it DOES work out, you'll be able to a) demonstrate your skill, and b) sell it and put the profit towards your next eventer. This will be much cheaper, cut about two thirds of the costs, and make your life much easier. 

Would love to hear how you get on. Good luck!


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## ester (19 August 2013)

I think your Dad would need to be earning the sort of money that nobody would talk about (ie big bucks!) for anyone to be happy to sink 20 odd K into ponies!


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## Camel (19 August 2013)

I'm not really 'getting' this! I'm thinking of my friends 13 year old daughters and would hate anyone to be mean to them so really don't want to upset you.

I too, tried to get a feel of your experience from your posts and comments off people such as 'you are very determined' and 'you are a natural rider' are phrases I have heard my OH's (pro eventer) RI use with him .... he has just started to learn to canter and certainly won't be competing any time in the next 100 years!  - what I'm saying is you may or may not be the next Mary King!!

I was a bit like you (until I got old, had kids and no time!) and if I get interested in something I will find everything out I can about it so I'm not criticising you but I there is a big part of me that thinks stop being a 'spoilt brat' (expecting that amount of money to be spent on a hobby for you is IMO spoilt brattish ) be very, very grateful if your Mum and Dad can afford to buy you a bog standard pony, then if you prove yourself, work hard and start showing real potential after a couple of years then get your RI to have a word with your parents and maybe then may be the time for the 'letter'.

Good luck with whatever happens xx

PS - Did read you Dad earnt 50k pa? if so then I think if he has a mortgage and normal outgoings he would be pt at a serious disadvantage forking that amount of of money out. Have you got any siblings? xx


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## Joeyjojo (19 August 2013)

Hi Sez, I don't want to repeat all that has been said here but hoped I might be able to offer a big picture perspective. 

Having gone through a similar thing (persuading non horsey parents to buy me a horse at 14) I think the most important question for you to answer is what is most important to you - having your own pony or making it in eventing?

If its having your own pony, then scale down the plans and present a more manageable budget to your parents. This will be much more paletable for them and will make it far more likely to succeed. This is not to say that you wont then be able to compete, but it will allow you and your family time to adjust to the cost and responsibility of horse ownership prior to putting more pressure on to get out winning events.

If eventing is really important then go with what you have - but be prepared that the cost may be too much for your parents and it could put them off ever buying you a horse. It really is a lot of money and significantly more than you need to spend on a pony. 

Once you have a pony and you're getting on well then you can start to think about competitions. Try to break your plans into more manageable steps - focus on getting the first thing right (pony of your own) then move onto the next (lessons + competitions). 

Either way I think you should talk to them. You won't get anything if you don't ask! Worst case scenario they say no. Good luck!


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

Camel said:



			I'm not really 'getting' this! I'm thinking of my friends 13 year old daughters and would hate anyone to be mean to them so really don't want to upset you.

I too, tried to get a feel of your experience from your posts and comments off people such as 'you are very determined' and 'you are a natural rider' are phrases I have heard my OH's (pro eventer) RI use with him .... he has just started to learn to canter and certainly won't be competing any time in the next 100 years!  - what I'm saying is you may or may not be the next Mary King!!

I was a bit like you (until I got old, had kids and no time!) and if I get interested in something I will find everything out I can about it so I'm not criticising you but I there is a big part of me that thinks stop being a 'spoilt brat' (expecting that amount of money to be spent on a hobby for you is IMO spoilt brattish ) be very, very grateful if your Mum and Dad can afford to buy you a bog standard pony, then if you prove yourself, work hard and start showing real potential after a couple of years then get your RI to have a word with your parents and maybe then may be the time for the 'letter'.

Good luck with whatever happens xx

PS - Did read you Dad earnt 50k pa? if so then I think if he has a mortgage and normal outgoings he would be pt at a serious disadvantage forking that amount of of money out. Have you got any siblings? xx
		
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Thank you. I have a sister two years younger than me and two half brothers that are in their mid twenties. My dad doesn't ear fifty thousand he earns something in the seventies or eighties!x


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## Foxford (19 August 2013)

OP, I got my first pony at 13 and it took me another 10 years before I got out competing at unaff level (on another horse by this time)! This was completely due to funding and transport, but my god that pony taught me so much and I had so much fun!


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## Baggybreeches (19 August 2013)

OP you've now wasted 4 days faffing about on here, just give them the letter as is and see what response you get, then you can speculate on the finer details from there. Of you are going to do it, now is the time.


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## Caramac71 (19 August 2013)

Hi Sez, I've been watching this thread with interest over the past couple of days and I think you have been given a lot of great advice.

I am the mother of a 14 year old pony-mad daughter, and one thing that occurred to me is that it appears from your comments that your parents aren't particularly involved in your riding at the moment.  Mainly because she wouldnt need to give me a letter telling me of her plans - we talk about it all on a daily basis on the way to/from the yard, when I'm walking with her on hacks, etc.  Aside from money, talent, ambition and all the other things spoken of, you will need one (or preferably) both parents that want this for you as much as you do.  I speak from experience - I rode in a riding school all my childhood, my parents weren't horsey and as much as a pony appeared on every Xmas and Birthday wish list I ever wrote, it was never going to happen .  Not just because of the finances, but because they didn't understand the all-consuming passion that is horses!

Roll on many years and my daughter expressed the same passion for ponies from age 2.  She spent from age 7 to 13 taking lessons and working at a riding centre, before moving on to her first part loan.  My husband could not (and still doesn't) understand why the riding lessons and volunteering 3-4 days a week wasn't enough.  She moved from the part loan onto a different full loan towards the end of last year, with the aim of teaching the pony to jump and wanting to enter small ODEs.

Sadly this very capable pony just doesnt always want to jump - therefore although on a good day she will pop round a 2'9 course, on another day she'll be eliminated at 2'!  So my daughter had a rethink and decided she would learn as much as she could about dressage, really improve her riding, and one day - maybe when she can earn her own money to buy and keep it - she will buy her eventer and take with her the knowledge and experience she has gained from this pony.

Meanwhile, they are having a blast.  They competed at Trailblazers dressage this year with excellent results, have competed at PC areas in dressage, qualified for various other dressage and showing championships, as well as having attempted mini ODEs and various unaffiliated SJ competitions.  Right now they are at PC camp, having made loads of new friends.

As her mother, I have also enjoyed every minute; but I have had to make lots of sacrifices.  Virtually all of my wages go on her and the pony, along with all my spare time.  I have to justify everything to my non horsey husband who doesnt understand why she needs to compete at all!  We have recently moved from DIY to full livery, as it was a huge struggle trying to find any time for her younger brother and any kind of family life.  Due to problems with the pony jumping, we have spent far more £s on lessons than anticipated - not to mention back checks, new saddle, saddle fittings, supplements; all of which had to be looked at and ruled out when pony was refusing to jump.

So my points (after all that waffle) are that (a) you need your parents to understand and support the passion, and without their understanding I think you will struggle to make them see why what you are doing now isn't enough for you; and (b) that with all the best laid plans you will encounter problems along the way and may need to have a rethink.

If you were my daughter, I would be encouraging you to have fun.  That, in my opinion, is what childhood is for!  Dreams and ambitions are great, never give up on them, but dont make it the "be all and end all" because life has a funny way of taking you on journeys you never anticipated 

Good luck with whatever you decide.


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## Zero00000 (19 August 2013)

Cut the letter down to...

Pony X
Livery X
Feed X
Hay X
Insurance X
Vacc, Dentist, Back, Physio X
Tacks and bits needed X
Lessons X
Petrol to and from stables X
ETC...

Start at the bottom and work your way up, Rome wasn't built in a day, Take your time and keep your passion, You will get there, but what you are asking is a big ask,

I was bought my horse for my 15th birthday, from my 16th birthday she was my responsibility, but grandad bailed me out once, you soon realise the ask, and my big plans went out the window as I never had the funds, but I still enjoyed owning and caring for my girl, and went out to a few shows/endurance rides/events during the year.

Your passion is admirable, and at 13 I dont think anyone expects you to understand the concept of money, I know people that earn big bucks, but their outgoing are BIG too! doesnt mean that by earning 80K he is going to have any spare £££, break it down and hand it to them, see what happens, if it doesnt happen, try to find a loan with someone who competes, and get your experience that way, many of the big riders do not own their mounts, good luck!


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## DonkeyClub (19 August 2013)

£75 k a year is not a huge salary when you get taxed at 40%~ which leaves a salary of £30 k a year so £2500 salary a month. so That is not a lot of money left when you have a mortgage, water, gas, electric , insurance& a whole family to feed.... The taxman is just criminal taking practically half of your salary :-( 

Not wanting to put a damper on things at all but if your parents say that they can't afford to fund such big ambitions, then they probably, really, just physically can't. 

I remember when I was a kid and my dad was on £100k a year and we had just no money and barely enough for the ponies. 

But an older pony and local pony club competitions should be more affordable to start off with!


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## Jenni_ (19 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			Thank you. I have a sister two years younger than me and two half brothers that are in their mid twenties. My dad doesn't ear fifty thousand he earns something in the seventies or eighties!x
		
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You show again how naive you are. From his seventy / eighty grand salary he will have to pay tax/NI and any pensions. His take home pay (I.E the money he has to live off) will NOT be anyway near that. We are talking closer to 50/60k.


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## Lolo (19 August 2013)

I don't know what planet you guys are living on right now, but my family earns less than mentioned (considerably less!) and all the way through we've managed to have at least 2 horses/ ponies and compete and train and do all PC activities...


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## ester (19 August 2013)

soberedup said:



			£75 k a year is not a huge salary when you get taxed at 40%~ which leaves a salary of £30 k a year so £2500 salary a month. so That is not a lot of money left when you have a mortgage, water, gas, electric , insurance& a whole family to feed.... The taxman is just criminal taking practically half of your salary :-( 

Not wanting to put a damper on things at all but if your parents say that they can't afford to fund such big ambitions, then they probably, really, just physically can't. 

I remember when I was a kid and my dad was on £100k a year and we had just no money and barely enough for the ponies. 

But an older pony and local pony club competitions should be more affordable to start off with!
		
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40% tax only applies to the portion over 32k -- so take home would be about 50k. I'd agree that isn't a huge amount of money though!

Lolo, the planet where doing pony trials on that would be problematic . Plus I think you have said in the past that most of your ponies were loans too.


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## *hic* (19 August 2013)

soberedup said:



			£75 k a year is not a huge salary when you get taxed at 40%~ which leaves a salary of £30 k a year so £2500 salary a month. so That is not a lot of money left when you have a mortgage, water, gas, electric , insurance& a whole family to feed.... The taxman is just criminal taking practically half of your salary :-(
		
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Actually £75K gross pa translates to around £50K net or £4,200 per month.


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

Jenni_ said:



			You show again how naive you are. From his seventy / eighty grand salary he will have to pay tax/NI and any pensions. His take home pay (I.E the money he has to live off) will NOT be anyway near that. We are talking closer to 50/60k.
		
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Yes but this person may have been confused thinking that my dad earns 50k not takes home that amount


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## *hic* (19 August 2013)

I'm amused how so many have read the guesstimated tax and reputed it


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## ester (19 August 2013)

Well I'd be right annoyed to get taxed at higher rate on all my earnings.. . if I actually earned that much . Plus I like accuracy .


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

Lolo said:



			I don't know what planet you guys are living on right now, but my family earns less than mentioned (considerably less!) and all the way through we've managed to have at least 2 horses/ ponies and compete and train and do all PC activities...
		
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Wow and your daughter has been so successful too. Even if those ponies have been loans the whole upkeep is the main amount of money. (Unless its a 5 figure pony but a pony like that I rarely loaned)
I look up to you so much Lolo because of what your family have achieved.  Although my family are never going to put half their annual salary onto a pony I still believe they could afford a pony. I will change my aims to what I said before- grassroots and a few pony classes the next season. 
Thank you so much Lolo for being so supportive x


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## Caramac71 (19 August 2013)

Lolo said:



			I don't know what planet you guys are living on right now, but my family earns less than mentioned (considerably less!) and all the way through we've managed to have at least 2 horses/ ponies and compete and train and do all PC activities...
		
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Yes but that's because its the choice you have made and I'm sure sacrifices have been made along the way to accommodate it.  I'm not convinced money is the biggest obstacle OP needs to overcome, I'd say getting parents onside for such a massive commitment is more likely to be the issue.


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## LouisCat (19 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			Wow and your daughter has been so successful too. Even if those ponies have been loans the whole upkeep is the main amount of money. (Unless its a 5 figure pony but a pony like that I rarely loaned)
I look up to you so much Lolo because of what your family have achieved.  Although my family are never going to put half their annual salary onto a pony I still believe they could afford a pony. I will change my aims to what I said before- grassroots and a few pony classes the next season. 
Thank you so much Lolo for being so supportive x
		
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Just to clarify Al is her sister  I am leaving this thread now though, I fear I will have a hole in my head from wall bashing! Like I said in my first post, there is nothing wrong with dreaming, but be prepared for it all to go to pot :/


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## Jo_x (19 August 2013)

Caramac71 said:



			Yes but that's because its the choice you have made and I'm sure sacrifices have been made along the way to accommodate it.  I'm not convinced money is the biggest obstacle OP needs to overcome, I'd say getting parents onside for such a massive commitment is more likely to be the issue.
		
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I agree with this. Whether Sez's parents earn 50k, 80k or any other amount, before or after tax, is largely irrelevant without knowing other intricacies of their financial details. Someone earning 100k and ploughing it all into a mortgage may well have less disposable income than someone earning 40k who is mortgage free.

My parents had a good income, certainly enough to pay for a pony or two and a lorry or trailer without having to make any significant sacrifices, but they still wouldn't buy me one - it was never about the money it was about the responsibility, and although I certainly didnt like it, I did understand and respect their reasoning. If they had earnt megabucks, and could have employed a groom to take all responsibility for the horses and a chauffeur to take me to and from the stables, they might have got me a pony  but that is obviously well beyond the realms of normality!


Sez, I really wish you all the luck in convincing your parents - I see so much of myself as a teen in you, I hope you have more luck convincing your parents than I did. I think other people have suggested it before on this thread, but maybe see if you can help on the yard one day at the weekend, and/or a day after school, to help contribute - you've done a great job of outlining the costs involved, and showing that you are willing to try and lessen them would probably be viewed positively by your parents. Alternatively, can you try and get a paper round or two, to help towards the costs?


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## MandyMoo (19 August 2013)

If your parents say no....


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## zaminda (19 August 2013)

I've read this thread with interest, mainly because I was the pony mad child with seriously un horsey parents. Yes my parents earned reasonable money, but they simply would not have been interested in spending it on an all singing all dancing pony. I have a brother, and even having a pony caused all sorts of he gets she gets arguments. I got a nice looking pony on loan through my instructor, scope to do pony trials etc, but he was a complete pain, as he somedays will somedays won't when it comes to jumping. Even just going to a standard BE is going to be roughly £100, which when your parents aren't horsey is a lot of money to fork out. 
I hope you do manage to sort something out, but be aware that your siblings are unlikely to be that impressed, and if your parents are anything like mine they simply won't be interested in standing in a wet field all weekend.


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## hnmisty (19 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			Although my family are never going to put half their annual salary onto a pony I still believe they could afford a pony.
		
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And of course, they can afford to spend £10,000 a year on each of your other four siblings. At first I thought you were a naive kid with unrealistically big dreams. Unfortunately I now think you're a bit of a spoilt brat. 

If you're that desperate for a piny then take the advice you've been given. Start volunteering at your stables. Look around for shares. If I had a kid and their attitude was "you earn lots of money so get me a pony" (have you considered the possibility that after all the outgoings there might not be much left? And not certainly not enough to spend equally on all five siblings) then I'd beat you into next week for being an ungrateful little madam. Sorry, but why do you think your parents should treat you so specially?


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## sez1 (19 August 2013)

hnmisty said:



			And of course, they can afford to spend £10,000 a year on each of your other four siblings. At first I thought you were a naive kid with unrealistically big dreams. Unfortunately I now think you're a bit of a spoilt brat.
		
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My father is not going to spend 20k on two adult men that aren't even related to him. My sister isn't into anything specific but maybe if she was my parents would pay for her. Still I don't think anything is as expensive as horses until you get to an extremely high level with constant training and private school fees


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## DabDab (19 August 2013)

So, are you going to give them the letter then?


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## ahml100 (19 August 2013)

I am now very, very confused. I have looked through your old threads and you state that you already have a pony that you wanted to take to POYS?! Surely this pony could be ok to take you to low level eventing? To start out you don't need a mega bucks pony, just something safe and fun that will get you round safe for a couple of years at BE80/90 level. Then when you have got a least 2 seasons under your belt move up to the higher ones. Why so keen on international experience? you have got your whole life ahead of you to get there! Plus, have you thought that you might not nearly enjoy it as much as you think you will do?


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## LynH (19 August 2013)

DabDab said:



			So, are you going to give them the letter then?
		
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This^^^^ 

A lot of people have taken the time to read your letter and give you some useful advice. I think we would all like to know what your parent think about the letter. Whatever response you get you will get a lot more advice about how to move forward following your parents decision.


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## GlamourDol (19 August 2013)

I'm actually beginning to wonder whether this is a wind up?
Looking back on your previous posts, you have had this letter since May? You've now wasted the majority of the summer holidays umming and ahhing over it when you could have been out there looking at ponies. 
Did you also write from your mum at some point? 
You've had some good advice from wide range of people, but seem to be paying no attention to it at all! 
Bizarre.


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## LouisCat (20 August 2013)

sez1 said:



			My father is not going to spend 20k on two adult men that aren't even related to him. My sister isn't into anything specific but maybe if she was my parents would pay for her. Still I don't think anything is as expensive as horses until you get to an extremely high level with constant training and private school fees
		
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I said I would leave this thread but I can't... The more you write the more you are showing your 13 year old side and losing the "grown up" side you had at the beginning. If I was your parent reading this would make me less likely to want you to have a pony. You obviously think ALL of their disposable income should be spent on you, based on the fact you've chosen to want to do the most expensive hobby you can think of. This thread is getting pathetic, you've had so much serious, brilliant advice yet if you were serious about this you would either have given your parents the letter and given them a little respect rather than whining about them on here or you'd accept it's a bit of an unlikely dream and you'd be happy to accept starting off at the bottom as many people have on here.


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## oldie48 (20 August 2013)

This thread is a wind up either by a rather silly 13 year old ir by someone old enough to know better. I won't read any more!


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## ArcticFox (20 August 2013)

This thread is now looking like a wind up

If you are going to give them the letter. GET ON AND DO IT. And stop wasting time. So many people have given you good advice on here. 



Over and out.


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## loopiesteff (20 August 2013)

^^^^ 

THIS! *yawn* bored now, you've wasted people's time, they've given advice and yet you've ignored it!


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## Jenni_ (20 August 2013)

jemima*askin said:



			I'm amused how so many have read the guesstimated tax and reputed it

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I'm a Payroll Person, Its in my nature to know rough figures after tax!

Sad life I live


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## DabDab (20 August 2013)

Jenni_ said:



			I'm a Payroll Person
		
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That's a good job title


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## xspiralx (20 August 2013)

I've read this thread torn between feeling sympathy for a pony mad young girl with big dreams, and feeling slightly frustrated at the OP's apparent unwillingness to temper or tone down her plans at all.

Sez, you're very young so it is understandable that you don't really have a full understanding of money and finances and tax and all the rest. I don't think it is any harm to dream big, but you should also have a plan b, that's a bit more realistic.

Even if your parents bought the pony and paid for everything you wanted, you still might well not get on the teams - it's very competitive and you would be at a disadvantage due to your lack if experience.

If I was you, I would present a plan for a pony to do PC with. If you are an amazing rider then you will have success and you will be selected for PC teams - and that's a much stronger position t be in to ask your parents for more money and a bigger investment to do affiliated. And if not, and the reality is that you're not actually ready, then you can keep working to improve yourself and your pony, and aim towards being a professional eventer in the future if that's what you want to do.


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## Camel (21 August 2013)

Have you given them the letter yet OP?
Xx


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## RunToEarth (22 August 2013)

OP - those of us who have had ponies since childhood have usually  got there through parents being horsey - they are a life and a lifestyle in themselves and what you are asking your parents to give is far far more than £30k a year, you are asking your parents to shift their whole life. 

My parents must have gone without no end of things to keep me in ponies, my mum used to sit in the freezing stands at Westfield until silly o'clock on a worknight instead of going out for evenings with my dad, and I was only ever in it at PC level... just think about what you are asking for.


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## Puppy (22 August 2013)

Lolo said:



			I don't know what planet you guys are living on right now, but my family earns less than mentioned (considerably less!) and all the way through we've managed to have at least 2 horses/ ponies and compete and train and do all PC activities...
		
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But both you and your sister are into horses. When I was a teenager, on the very rare occasions that my parents hired a trailer and took me showjumping, just to a local venue, then my 2 non-horsey sisters seriously resented it.


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