# Horses go crazy if seperated help!!!



## Ruth89 (30 June 2020)

I brought a new horse (4year old) home about 4 weeks ago. She was very well behaved ! A few days ago I put her in the same field as my old mare (17) and i was glad to see them becoming friends.

Until today...I tried to bring new horse in for a quick groom and they both went CRAZY when seperated. It was actually a bit scary and gave me a fright 😳

Any advice please


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## Meowy Catkin (30 June 2020)

Have either of them been kept alone before?

Individual turnout with other horses next door?
As an only horse with no others next door?


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## Ruth89 (30 June 2020)

The older mare was kept alone for a long time, with no others next door. the new mare has come from a home with lots of horses, when she first arrived here a few weeks ago she was turned out alone but could see the older mare across a field and was fine with this


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## Pinkvboots (30 June 2020)

I have 2 geldings at home and I always bring both in together and stable them while I ride each one, they are quite happy to stay alone with a hay net in a stable I can't leave either of them alone in the field they would injure themselves.


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## Meowy Catkin (30 June 2020)

I did wonder.

The issue is that horses are prey animals and that they fool us because of this and can look 'fine' when it isn't the case. 

You have a long road ahead. You need to get your horses to believe that when one of them is taken away, that they will be reunited again. I would start by just taking one of them the other side of the gate, feeding both horses and then putting them back together. After they can do this with no issue and you have several successful repetitions, you can have the feed bowls further apart and so on. Repeat, repeat, repeat and slowly extend either the distance or the time apart. You may need someone to stay with the 'left behind' horse to make sure that they are safe at least to start with. Eventually you will build up to being able to take one out, ride and then return them back to their friend.

I have done this with a horse that had been alone for a few years as although I didn't own her, she was my horse's companion. The method I described of slow and steady progress meant that in time I could hack mine out and bar a few neighs it was all OK with no injuries or running about.


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## Ruth89 (30 June 2020)

Meowy Catkin said:



			I did wonder.

The issue is that horses are prey animals and that they fool us because of this and can look 'fine' when it isn't the case.

You have a long road ahead. You need to get your horses to believe that when one of them is taken away, that they will be reunited again. I would start by just taking one of them the other side of the gate, feeding both horses and then putting them back together. After they can do this with no issue and you have several successful repetitions, you can have the feed bowls further apart and so on. Repeat, repeat, repeat and slowly extend either the distance or the time apart. You may need someone to stay with the 'left behind' horse to make sure that they are safe at least to start with. Eventually you will build up to being able to take one out, ride and then return them back to their friend.

I have done this with a horse that had been alone for a few years as although I didn't own her, she was my horse's companion. The method I described of slow and steady progress meant that in time I could hack mine out and bar a few neighs it was all OK with no injuries or running about.
		
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The older mare spent many years alone on a farm (maybe 10!) then I adopted her about a year ago. I thought it would be great for her to have a friend. But now it seems they've become super attached in a few days! It gave me a real fright this evening when I went to take the new horse in to groom as she was almost uncontrollable when leading and pulled me up the road. She was very calm before so I wasn't expecting it. 

I will try your suggestions above, I wasn't sure if it was best to go very slowly or just move one of them out of eyesight of eachother for about ten mins. I've no experience with two horses becoming so anxious when seperated!


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## tallyho! (30 June 2020)

You know this thread somehow reminded me of a situation years and years ago and my mate bought this stuff you rub on their noses... it was a pheromone or something... calmed them right down. Might not find it now as everything is banned..

If you can't find anything, try lavender.

Anyway, we have a farm where horses come and go, part of it here. They just have to get used to it and you know what, they do. Three days is usually the magic number, sometimes more but never less. Just carry on, they'll get used to it.


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## TheMule (30 June 2020)

This is why keeping 2 horses only is nearly impossible, unless 1 is a really steady independent sort (little ancient ponies usually pretty good)


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## Meowy Catkin (30 June 2020)

Two well adjusted horses I haven't had issues with but maybe I got lucky with their temperaments. The one that had been alone was a different ball game entirely, she hadn't seen another horse for years and was desperate not to be left alone again. Self preservation went out the window, it was really scary. We did get there though and as I said I could hack mine out in the end safely and she was also able to be hacked out while mine was left behind.


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## Pinkvboots (30 June 2020)

TheMule said:



			This is why keeping 2 horses only is nearly impossible, unless 1 is a really steady independent sort (little ancient ponies usually pretty good)
		
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It's not impossible I do it I just don't leave them alone in the field I don't see why it's a problem if you have stables, if you don't it's a different matter entirely but the op has not said if she has stables or not.


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## Nicnac (30 June 2020)

Hence despite trying everything I have now acquired a third.  The mini mighty Annie.  And for the first time I was able to ride my horse (who couldn't give a sh*t if he's on his own) without taking TB with us or ensuring he could see mine at all times and no worry about him killing himself either in the field or the stable as he gets in a blind panic.  

The relief was huge!


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## TheMule (30 June 2020)

Pinkvboots said:



			It's not impossible I do it I just don't leave them alone in the field I don't see why it's a problem if you have stables, if you don't it's a different matter entirely but the op has not said if she has stables or not.
		
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Hence why I said 'nearly impossible'


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## Ruth89 (30 June 2020)

I do indeed have stables where they can be brought in together. I will look for pheromone too thank you 

I am ofcourse glad they are happy together but I will need them to act safely when apart so I can ride the new horse. 

I've been told by a friend to take the new horse out of the field and lunge her (within sight of her friend) to get her attention on me and not panic she isn't far away. Is this a good idea? I feel like it may create a bad association that when she's taken away she'll just be made work work work!


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## Meowy Catkin (30 June 2020)

It might be too big a step to go straight to lunging. 

When a horse is stressed out of its tiny mind, they aren't going to learn anything. My idea was to keep them at a reasonable level of calm by doing small steps that you can repeat and then build on.


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## Ruth89 (30 June 2020)

Meowy Catkin said:



			It might be too big a step to go straight to lunging.

When a horse is stressed out of its tiny mind, they aren't going to learn anything. My idea was to keep them at a reasonable level of calm by doing small steps that you can repeat and then build on.
		
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Thanks yes I didn't really like the idea I thought it was a bit harsh. I'll try doing small steps over the next few days and hopefully I'll see a little improvement.


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## Smogul (1 July 2020)

Pinkvboots said:



			It's not impossible I do it I just don't leave them alone in the field I don't see why it's a problem if you have stables, if you don't it's a different matter entirely but the op has not said if she has stables or not.
		
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What do you do if a horse still go nuts when stabled, unless there is another horse in the stable block? My pony is turned out with one like this and it is a total pain for the staff.


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## tallyho! (1 July 2020)

That is hard Smogul... would a mirror help do you think?


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## Pinkvboots (1 July 2020)

Smogul said:



			What do you do if a horse still go nuts when stabled, unless there is another horse in the stable block? My pony is turned out with one like this and it is a total pain for the staff.
		
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It is a complete pain in the arse I had a mare that would do this and she would try and jump out over the stable door,some horses just never truly get used to it although mine did get better over time.

I always made sure she had hay and she was worse if she saw horses coming and going so she was stabled on a quieter black where she couldn't see horses walking out into the field.


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## Pinkvboots (1 July 2020)

Smogul said:



			What do you do if a horse still go nuts when stabled, unless there is another horse in the stable block? My pony is turned out with one like this and it is a total pain for the staff.
		
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It is a complete pain in the arse I had a mare that would do this and she would try and jump out over the stable door,some horses just never truly get


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## Nicnac (1 July 2020)

Smogul said:



			What do you do if a horse still go nuts when stabled, unless there is another horse in the stable block? My pony is turned out with one like this and it is a total pain for the staff.
		
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Pinkvboots said:



			It is a complete pain in the arse I had a mare that would do this and she would try and jump out over the stable door,some horses just never truly get
		
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See my post - you get a third one   Mine are at home so no choice of putting another one in the stables unfortunately.  Got so fed up of taking both out, one off lorry, one back on, shouting, kicking lorry or leave at home and find stables needing a new wall upon my return.  Fecking TB's is all I can say.  Every single one we've had has been insecure as ex-racers don't like being on their own unless they're the centre of attention!


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## Ruth89 (1 July 2020)

So just an update today! I went into the field with a feed bucket and left this with the old pony and led the young horse out. She was absorbed with this feed for a few minutes before she started roaring and running round the field again. The young horse seemed unphased and came with me happily to the stable as she was doing before.


However once she heard the pony shouting she became agitated and stressed. I gave her some scratches and offered her feed but she wasn't interested so, I led her back to the field (she didn't pull me I'm a scary way like last night) and left them back in together. 

I'm hoping if I keep doing this it'll sink in they're not being taken apart forever... failing that I may look to adopt a Shetland !


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## Pinkvboots (1 July 2020)

Nicnac said:



			See my post - you get a third one   Mine are at home so no choice of putting another one in the stables unfortunately.  Got so fed up of taking both out, one off lorry, one back on, shouting, kicking lorry or leave at home and find stables needing a new wall upon my return.  Fecking TB's is all I can say.  Every single one we've had has been insecure as ex-racers don't like being on their own unless they're the centre of attention!
		
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Ha ha mine are Arabs it doesn't take much to set them off running round the field at the best of times, so being alone in the field is just too much for either of them to cope with.


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## Ruth89 (1 July 2020)

The old pony is a native type and the young horse is 3/4 ID...so I didn't think they'd lend themselves to this panicky behaviour! However IDs can be slow to mature... I now feel terribly for the little pony that she was lonely for so many years 😭


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## Bellaboo18 (1 July 2020)

Ruth89 said:



			So just an update today! I went into the field with a feed bucket and left this with the old pony and led the young horse out. She was absorbed with this feed for a few minutes before she started roaring and running round the field again. The young horse seemed unphased and came with me happily to the stable as she was doing before.


However once she heard the pony shouting she became agitated and stressed. I gave her some scratches and offered her feed but she wasn't interested so, I led her back to the field (she didn't pull me I'm a scary way like last night) and left them back in together. 

I'm hoping if I keep doing this it'll sink in they're not being taken apart forever... failing that I may look to adopt a Shetland !
		
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I think you're doing the right thing building it up slowly and seeing how they get on. I'd take the young horse out for short periods everyday so it becomes a routine. 

Some learn to cope but some just don't seem to and you may have to find a work around.  

It might be worth leaving the one left behind with a large horslyx, it lasts longer than feed!


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## L&M (1 July 2020)

We have always only be able to keep 2 - some have been better than others but it is very hard to stop them bonding and having separation issues.

We have found that if we keep them in separate paddocks(or in the same one but divided by electric fencing), they are less clingy - they can see each other but don't have close contact, which seems to help.

Also as others have said, some adapt better to being in the stable on their own rather than the field. Stable mirrors can also help.


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## Smogul (2 July 2020)

Nicnac said:



			See my post - you get a third one   Mine are at home so no choice of putting another one in the stables unfortunately.  Got so fed up of taking both out, one off lorry, one back on, shouting, kicking lorry or leave at home and find stables needing a new wall upon my return.  Fecking TB's is all I can say.  Every single one we've had has been insecure as ex-racers don't like being on their own unless they're the centre of attention!
		
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Not sure what this horse is but not ex-racer for sure! Sometimes there happens to be another horse in the stable block but not always. Staff can't really drag another livery's horse in just to keep the neurotic one company. Really hard.


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## D66 (2 July 2020)

I found the left behind horse only created while the one I was riding was still visible or audible.  Once we were out of sight they calmed down.
However I think you are doing the right thing by tackling the problem progressively.


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## milliepops (2 July 2020)

Smogul said:



			Not sure what this horse is but not ex-racer for sure! Sometimes there happens to be another horse in the stable block but not always. Staff can't really drag another livery's horse in just to keep the neurotic one company. Really hard.
		
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My welsh is like this. Similar to OP's older horse she was kept on her own for several years before I got her, and then latched on to one of my others immediately and very strongly.  she is mentally quite damaged.
I can pair her onto another horse reasonably easily over the course of a few days, but what I haven't been able to do is teach her to be self sufficient when left alone.
I keep 2 horses on the yard so she has a companion I am in control of all the time and am not dependent on other people's horses for her security blanket. When I take the other one away I have a top door grill to stop her jumping the door. she shouts a bit now but doesn't trash the place any more


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## Ruth89 (2 July 2020)

Day 2 update! This evening I took them apart (adjoining field with tall hedge) and back together several times. 

When bringing them back together I made them trot round in small circle for a minute. Then allowed rest and nice scratches when separated. I feel the young horse is going to respond to this very quickly, she was relaxed and happy to follow me with her head lowered. 

The old pony is going to be the difficult one! One reason is I have to let my OH mind her while I take the young horse and he is not a horsie person, although he is very calm and natural with them.  Me staying with pony and letting someone else lead the young horse is not an option, there's nobody else here that has experience with horses so she'd be too strong and take advantage of them. 

I wonder what my father in law would say if I brought a third horse to cut up his fields lol....


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## Ruth89 (6 July 2020)

Yesterday I put the old pony back into "her" big field which is separated from the paddock the new horse is in by a hedge. 

Strangely enough, old pony merrily trotted off into her field without so much as a backwards glance. Proceeded to munch away pretty much immediately at the opposite end from the hedge. Young horse went crazy running up and down the fence line shouting and bucking. I kept watching as I was afriad she would do herself an injury. She eventually calmed down and is eating but spends a lot of time wistfully staring at the pony.

The pony continues to now ignore her and I wonder did she get so distressed just because I took her from her normal field.

I'm quite confused by this now and just not sure of the right way to go forward . Anytime I've owned riding horses before I've kept them in a livery yard with plenty of company. I'm now feeling a bit out of my depth and doubting myself because I don't know how I should keep these two together.


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## oldie48 (9 July 2020)

It makes me quite cross when I hear people say their pony/horse if fine on their own, some tolerate it but I doubt any would choose it. I am in the same situation as you in that I have two at home, fortunately the companion pony is very food focused but I always bring him in with Rose and he's stabled whilst Rose is taken to training etc and I always give him a net just before I take Rose away. TBH he's not the easiest pony to handle but I put up with his quirks because he does the job. I think you are doing exactly the right thing by building up slowly and having them separate but adjacent to each other. Keep going with it and hopefully things will settle down. Fatty was on his own whilst Rose was away for three weeks recently and he coped fine, got a lot more individual attention from me. I expected him to be very clingy with Rose when she came home but he took it in his stride, she's pretty vile to him anyway! I hope you get there. Good luck.


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## HashRouge (9 July 2020)

My mare used to go absolutely apeshit if she was separated from her fieldmate. It's really weird, she has never been overly keen on other horses but has occasionally had the horse equivalent of a "best friend". There was a grey Arab mare, Ellie, who used to stand and wait at the gate whenever I took my mare out of the field, and a 3/4 Arab gelding who absolutely loved her. But she has never been quite as clingy with them as they were with her. But as soon as she met her current companion, when they were both on a livery yard so with lots of other horses, she seemed to absolutely adore him. It's like she knew he was also part of the family, which is odd, but there you go! She's been retired for most of the time they've been kept together, so usually it was him going away from her. The first time it happened, when they'd started going in the field together, she was utterly frantic for the entire time he was away. I thought she was going to go over her stable door and she was making the most godawful noise! It's the most upset I've ever seen her. We kept separating them and I usually stayed with her when my sister rode the other one and she never really got any better for about six years tbh. Now they are both retired she is actually better about being separated, though they generally aren't separated for very long. Usually only if I bring them in one at a time (the gelding can be tricky to catch). But she's okay in the stable without him (she always gets brought in first). He goes batshit though, he *hates* her being taken away from him! I'd say he's much worse than her now, I think he's become more attached to her than he used to be. It doesn't really matter with two retired horses though, they don't need to be separated. If one of them had to go to the vet I'd have to take the other one to my YM's second yard, down the road, for company.


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