# Go easy on me...



## Newtothegeegees (21 December 2019)

I’m a newbie!

So i rode a lot as a youngster - I never owned a horse but used to be up helping out at the stables every weekend and riding.

Fast forward 20 years, a marriage and 3 kids later I decide to return back to my passion. Ive spent the last 18 months doing lessons and the last month delving into the world of being a sharer which I have loved.  My question is - now that I’m older and wiser (!) I’m also much more cautious. I would love my own horse one day but feel overwhelmed by what i class as ‘real’ horse people.  I feel like I will never be confident enough to own my own horse as I don’t know enough ‘stuff’.  Has anyone else been in my position? If so at what point did you feel confident to go ahead and buy yourself a horse? It’s such a life long ambition of mine to achieve but I want to ensure I am totally prepared.  When I’m down the stables I just feel like everyone has so much more knowledge of this horse lark!

Thanks for any feedback you may have especially you lucky horse owners!


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## EllenJay (21 December 2019)

So when you had your 3 children, did you know everything or did you learn by making mistakes, talking to experienced people?  It's exactly the same with horse ownership - nobody knows everything, mostly it's down to common sense, and what you don't know you you can ask.

Find a livery yard, with a helpful YO, and take the plunge


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## Newtothegeegees (21 December 2019)

Thanks @EllenJay that’s kinda what i wanted to hear. X


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## dogatemysalad (21 December 2019)

Real horse people are people like you. They love horses, have a bit of experience and somewhere along the line, they take the plunge into ownership. I'm on a large yard and many of those owners didn't own a horse as a child or young adult. They didn't come from families who were born in the saddle. 
I can't tell the difference between those who grew up riding and those who took it up when the children got a little older and they had a bit of spare cash. 
A real horse person is someone who is realistic and puts a lot of effort into caring for their horse, having lessons and being honest about their knowledge and being wise enough to know who gives good advice and who talks gibberish. 
Find a good yard with a supportive YO and have someone who is knowledgeable to help you find the right horse and help you through the early days.


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## PurBee (21 December 2019)

I plunged hard when i finally took the plunge as an adult, being similar to you op, years of riding when young, always wanted a horse but work/life made it impossible.
Start off with keeping a horse at a yard. They know land management skills and horse skills so they are able 24/7 to answer all your questions...invaluable having experience like that on tap!

I waited 27yrs for a horse and then bought land, reclaiming it, restoring old stone house, 2yrs later we bought a pregnant warmblood mare who was due to foal in 8 weeks. A friend needed to rehome her, i was in 2 minds, knowing i needed to work on the land to get it really ready for grazing. Was building a house at the time, and had 250 metres of drains dug all around the buildings, in the process of being piped, and filled in, by shovel and barrow, by me!

Needless to say i had a very eventful 2 years after that, and worked like a warrior but I ended up 6.5 stone and bed-ridden through complete exhaustion. Took 2 years to recover to function, 4 years more to be as strong as when i started.

If you’re life is relatively ‘empty’ of major time/financial committments, go for it. 

My house still isnt built, as horses are far more interesting and life-enriching than building a darn house!


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## Lindylouanne (21 December 2019)

I had a long break from horses and came back to it in my 50’s. I had the same worries and concerns but a good friend told me horses haven’t changed. They still have 4 legs, a body, a head and a tail and as long as you have the basic stable management skills these days there are knowledgable yard owners, trainers, vets, physios, farriers and dentists out there. I have learnt and re learnt so much in the last 6 years and I am still learning every day and while it is hard work I wouldn’t swop my two ponies for the world.


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## Pearlsasinger (21 December 2019)

EllenJay said:



			So when you had your 3 children, did you know everything or did you learn by making mistakes, talking to experienced people?  It's exactly the same with horse ownership - nobody knows everything, mostly it's down to common sense, and what you don't know you you can ask.

Find a livery yard, with a helpful YO, and take the plunge
		
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And make sure you buy a horse that is within your capabilities now, not one for what you wish you could do.  There are plenty of sensible horses out there that won't set the world on fire look for one of those, rather than the next Valegro, or whoever.


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## Trouper (21 December 2019)

As well as a supportive YO for the day-to-day stuff - just read, read, read.  Magazines, books, articles anything you can lay your hands on.  You will soon look back and realise how much you have absorbed.   The best bit is that this can be done in the warm - preferably soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine!!


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## tankgirl1 (21 December 2019)

I rode a lot as a kid and a teenager, although other peoples ponies (I used to mither anyone who I saw with a pony in the village - eek!) I then had a long break from about 16yo to 32yo, and then I got a part loan, which turned into a full loan for 12months. I bit the bullet at 34 and finally got my very first pony all of my own. A couple of years later I got her a shettie friend. I read a lot, asked questions online, and my yardies were always helpful and supportive too. I would say go for it!


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## Baywonder (21 December 2019)

I think as we get older (especially after having children) you do become more aware of the potential risks involved with horses.  I shudder when I remember some of the things I used to do in my younger years!  I haven't had a horse for a few years now (I did the horses first, then the kids!) - but you are doing the right thing by having lessons / sharing.  Would you be able to gain a bit more practical experience by volunteering at your stables, or attending any horse / stable management courses there (or near to you).

No-one will never know everything about horses - it is a constant learning curve.  Don't be afraid to ask questions you don't know the answer to.  This forum is very helpful and supportive to anyone who needs a question answered (no matter how silly it seems), support, advice or just to let off steam.  

As you carry on your confidence will build up, and you will know when you are ready for your own horse.  Like others have said, children don't come with instructions do they? And you have managed three of them so far!


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## splashgirl45 (21 December 2019)

i was 21 when i bought my first horse and kept him at a riding school where there was always someone to ask.  i had read loads about horses management, tack etc and actually knew quite a bit but it was good to ask the YO to make sure i was on the right track.  when the riding school closed i moved him and shared a field with a couple of friends,  it was very scary being in complete control of my horse without my YO in the background  but we survived and i grew in confidence, so if you get your own i would say keep it at a yard with high standards so you learn from the best.  good luck


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## Newtothegeegees (21 December 2019)

dogatemysalad said:



			Real horse people are people like you. They love horses, have a bit of experience and somewhere along the line, they take the plunge into ownership. I'm on a large yard and many of those owners didn't own a horse as a child or young adult. They didn't come from families who were born in the saddle.
I can't tell the difference between those who grew up riding and those who took it up when the children got a little older and they had a bit of spare cash.
A real horse person is someone who is realistic and puts a lot of effort into caring for their horse, having lessons and being honest about their knowledge and being wise enough to know who gives good advice and who talks gibberish.
Find a good yard with a supportive YO and have someone who is knowledgeable to help you find the right horse and help you through the early days.
		
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## Newtothegeegees (21 December 2019)

Ahh wow. What a lovely post. You have really given me some confidence. Thank you so much. I really mean that.


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## Newtothegeegees (21 December 2019)

All of your posts have been really encouraging. Thanks for taking the time out to tell your story. I will be bombarding this forum with stupid questions from here on in so look out!


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## vmac66 (22 December 2019)

I'd had a 30 year break, having owned ponies as a kid but sold my horse when I was 18. After that life got in the way although I dipped in and out of horses for years. My youngest child went to uni when I was 48 and I'd come into some money earlier that year. I'd made a promise to myself at 18 that one day I'd have another horse one day. 
I couldn't imagine life without horses now although did find things had changed a, lot. It was a, very hard learning curve but I got through it with the help of people on the yard. You learn who to listen to and who not too. Life's too short to have regrets so if it's what you want go for it.


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## meleeka (22 December 2019)

I was on yard for over 10 years when I had my first pony. When I left that yard I remember feeling totally out of my depth, because I thought I didn’t know enough.  It became apparent very quickly that I actually had more experience than most of my new friends who’d had horses for years, but not on yards.  I’m still the person they ask about things.  I think the only difference between us is that I’m always learning.  I research everything I need to know and yes I’ve picked up experience along the way, but I don’t think anyone ever knows everything.  I’d say owning a horse isn’t something you can learn, you have to experience it yourself and pick up your knowledge along the way. 

If you have the time and money then do it. Pick a nice yard where people are happy to advise and help and you won’t go far wrong.


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## Bobbit (22 December 2019)

I am you! I've always loved horses and ridden as a child but have never had mine own. This spring I had my first lesson in 20 years and started sharing a lovely gelding all kick started by my kids wanting lessons. 6 months later and I'm about to buy my first horse! I'm excited and terrified in equal measure but we will be on a yard with lots of very knowledgable people and the way I see it everyone has to start somewhere. Just go for it!!


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## Newtothegeegees (23 December 2019)

You know I really thought you guys would say ‘oohhh you need to ride for another couple of years and do this and do that’ but much to the dismay of my husband (!) you’ve basically just all said ‘go for it’. God i love you lot already.


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## hopscotch bandit (23 December 2019)

Trouper said:



			As well as a supportive YO for the day-to-day stuff - just read, read, read.  Magazines, books, articles anything you can lay your hands on.  You will soon look back and realise how much you have absorbed.   The best bit is that this can be done in the warm - preferably soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine!!
		
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Totally agree. I spend most of my time reading research papers or on this forum.  When you are on a big yard you also learn so much more as other liveries have issues with their horses whether ridden or illness/lameness whatever and you never stop learning.


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## Equi (23 December 2019)

I’ve been riding since I was 4 and owned horses since I was 12 and I can tell you right now I would never consider myself a real horse person! I still feel like I know nothing Jon Snow. I learn something new every day and it took many many mistakes to get to where I am.


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## Red-1 (23 December 2019)

You know a heck of a lot more than I did when I got my first. 

A good yard is a must, I don't really go for qualifications, but if you go to a yard run by someone who has them, at least they should have a good basic knowledge and be able to help with the hic-cups. 

Always take someone knowledgeable with you to try a horse. Buying the right one is 90% of the battle! 

Good luck, and I look forward to your many questions - as long as they are accompanied by photos. We do like photos.


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## Winters100 (28 December 2019)

Red-Nose is spot on - buy the right horse and keep it at a good yard. The rest you will work out.  Look for something sensible which fits the rider that you are - not the rider that you aspire to be.

I actually think the best owners are often the ones who don't think they know it all, who will listen to advice and will find out what they need to.  

Good luck and enjoy it!


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## Findlbybrown91 (8 January 2020)

Newtothegeegees said:



			I’m a newbie!

So i rode a lot as a youngster - I never owned a horse but used to be up helping out at the stables every weekend and riding.

Fast forward 20 years, a marriage and 3 kids later I decide to return back to my passion. Ive spent the last 18 months doing lessons and the last month delving into the world of being a sharer which I have loved.  My question is - now that I’m older and wiser (!) I’m also much more cautious. I would love my own horse one day but feel overwhelmed by what i class as ‘real’ horse people.  I feel like I will never be confident enough to own my own horse as I don’t know enough ‘stuff’.  Has anyone else been in my position? If so at what point did you feel confident to go ahead and buy yourself a horse? It’s such a life long ambition of mine to achieve but I want to ensure I am totally prepared.  When I’m down the stables I just feel like everyone has so much more knowledge of this horse lark!

Thanks for any feedback you may have especially you lucky horse owners!
		
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Hi there Newtothegeegees,

I am in the same boat as you! It is my life long dream to have my own horse and I don't care how long it takes.... I will get there somehow!  

I agree with you that, when at the stables, everyone else appears to be so much more knowledgeable than me and I'm left wondering how on earth people started out?! How will I ever learn all this?  I'm quite an anxious person in general so really hate that feeling of "oh god, they're all watching me and thinking what on earth is she doing!!!" 

On the other hand, I do think that life is too short and sometimes you just have to go for it!  You will regret not giving it a go and taking the plunge.....


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## mini_b (8 January 2020)

[/QUOTE] I agree with you that, when at the stables, everyone else appears to be so much more knowledgeable than me and I'm left wondering how on earth people started out?! How will I ever learn all this?  I'm quite an anxious person in general so really hate that feeling of "oh god, they're all watching me and thinking what on earth is she doing!!!"  [/QUOTE]

seriously, everyone has made mistake at some point. 
Humans tend to learn from what they’ve done wrong and trying to avoid doing it again.
Try not to worry about things as it makes you more likely to make a cock up. Kid yourself with some confidence and accept advice and help. 

read lots too, actual books. Anyone can write the internet 😉

You will find that there’s lots of conflicting information on EVERYTHING, but if you have a supportive YM and your horses needs are met, you’re doing good so far...
get some lessons then you can work on the riding....Hey presto you’re a horse person. 

people who have no real idea but are willing to learn and genuinely care for thhorse are the best...
Those who think they know everything (and don’t) and use their horse as some kind of “utility” rather than a living, sentient creature....don’t like them ones 😂

good luck xxx


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## Landcruiser (10 January 2020)

I never had a horse as a kid, I just rode other people's when I had chance  for a few teen years until life got in the way. Fast forward till I was 48, having only has the very odd ride in the intervening years while on various holidays (crucially a couple of times in the USA). At 48 I bought my first horse, and kept him somewhere totally unsuitable (someone in the same village who literally rented me a field). Having bought an expensive field shelter I was given notice and had to sell it at a huge loss, then moved around several yards, trying to find somewhere suitable for what turned out to be a very badly chosen special needs horse with chronic issues. After a year I bought a second horse, as a share with a friend, who later pulled out so I was left at 50 owning 2 horses outright- one with many chronic issues and one green as grass and spooky. 
Anyway, I rode both of them western (fell in love with it on those american trail rides), went to courses and clinics, read, joined a western group, spent as much time as I could with them...it's been a long haul, and a very steep (and expensive) learning curve, especially the early days. I still have both of them as I approach 60. First horse is retired but second horse has been a superstar, and we've been doing TREC for many years. Both have taught me much more than I've taught them, and I'm still learning new stuff every single day. 
Honestly, if anyone went into horse ownership unprepared it was me! Good luck OP, life is short, go for it!!


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## Jumoro (10 January 2020)

I came back to horses in 2012 after a break of 20+ years and having never owned before (due to lack of funds as a child and young adult). After lots of lessons & volunteering for RDA I started loaning from a lovely owner, who was very supportive and extremely generous with her time and knowledge. Initially , I felt like a complete fraud and was frequently way out of my comfort zone. 8 years on I have 3 horses - 2 retired field companions and a lovely tbx gelding I plan on eventing this year. I have only scratched the surface in terms of my knowledge and ability - however, for me that's part of the joy!. The more I learn and understand the more I enjoy the privilege of riding/being around horses. I have also met some incredible "horse people" and made some great friends. I couldn't imagine a life without horses now - hacking out with my OH this morning in the Cornish sunshine was absolute heaven! I would say go for it but make sure you have good support in place and never be afraid to admit if you don't know something!


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